Chapter Text
Eren wouldn’t proclaim he was the smartest man; that was Armin. But he liked to assume he had a fraction of common sense, intelligence—even.
His boyfriend, Jean, though, always made him feel like a brain cell was actively perishing.
Admittedly, Jean was smart and an impactful person to talk with. The man could call him on his shit faster than anybody, never allowing Eren’s ego to grow further than needed.
It was a calming balance; sure, they pushed and pulled each other's last nerve, but that was to be expected.
Eren, though, couldn’t comprehend why his boyfriend was attempting to fight a chicken on the grassy lawn of their cabin.
And losing.
It was a steady three minutes, Eren standing at the doorway of their cabin, hands limp at his sides, not even a mouth drop as that would require him to have the ability to move. Instead, he physically couldn’t move from the sheer amount of confusion.
Why? How? When?
It was probably Jean's fault.
Jean threw a fist as the chicken jumped, a shrieking squawk cutting through the, otherwise peaceful, terrain.
Eren watched as feathers flew everywhere, the breeze only spreading them further against the grassy terrain.
The brunette couldn’t do anything but watch as Jean pivoted on his heel, rough hands reaching out to try and grab the chicken by the base of its plump body, but the animal only scratched its talons into Jean’s hand.
Then as confusing and quick as the situation came, it ended just as startlingly with the chicken taking off into the forest, disappearing into the surrounding bushes with a furious vengeance in its eyes.
Eren shivered; this war was far from over.
Silence overtook the couple now, only the panting of Jean to fill the air; it took Eren an embarrassingly long time before he could speak, “Do I even want to know?” He sighed, finally running a hand down his face.
It was a weird shift in dynamic, Eren wasn’t used to being the normal one.
At the sound of Eren’s voice, Jean startled as he whipped around, a flustered expression overtaking his pale features as he tried to screw his expression into a glare, but the embarrassment was too evident, “How much did you see?”
The demand was weak, at least to Eren, as he ignored the man’s tone; instead, his eyes honed in on the bloody claw marks running down Jean's arm. The pristine white button-up is now shaded red, with grass stains and other mysterious stains.
“Enough to know the chicken kicked your ass, Kirstein.” Eren smirked; a feeling of worry settled in his stomach, but he buried it as quickly as it filled him. Why should he worry that Jean was bloody? The bastard probably scared the chicken anyway.
Jean opened his mouth to retort, embarrassment growing as his glare heated, “I don’t even want to know.” Eren cut him off, raising a hand before stepping off the porch, the material creaking under his weight.
Stepping onto the soft grass below, Eren made a quick stride across the grass, finally grasping Jean’s arm to inspect the damage. His fingers traced beside the wounds, fingertips bloodying.
Jean attempted to jerk his arm back, but Eren only tightened his grasp.
“The hell are you doing?” Jean snapped, and Eren peered up through his lashes as he watched Jean's cheeks redden. “What? You got a thing for blood now?” Pale brown eyes attempted to roll, nonchalance wavering at Eren’s persistent gaze.
Attempting to ease Jean with their typical banter, Eren simply smirked, “Nah, even if I did, you’d be too normal for that.” He taunted, sea-green eyes glancing back down at the wounds, his smirk faltering slightly at the sight.
“Come on, you big baby.” Eren grasped Jean's hand, reinforcing his smirk. “Let’s go patch you up, since apparently you’ve been slacking off and now can’t even fight a chicken.” Eren snickered, dragging Jean up the steps of their cabin, ignoring the others protests.
The cabin was a sweet thing, soft brown oak wood with a lighter design for the flooring. Eren would’ve liked to take credit, but that wouldn’t be fair to Jean, as the man was definitely talented for this kind of thing.
Not that he deserved to hear that praise; it’d make his head even bigger, or maybe even longer.
Eren led them both into the bathroom, the window inside allowing for a soft light that filled the room. Jean, behind him, only seemed to be grumbling to himself. Probably about how the chicken deserved it.
“Okay,” Eren spun around, grasping Jean’s shirt by the chest, manhandling the other to sit on the lid of the toilet, “I lied; I want to know now.” Eren said, grasping their medical toolkit from under the sink.
Jean scoffed from beside him, “I’m not going to tell you.” Eren knew Jean was eye-rolling even without seeing it. “Why?” Eren sighed out, exasperated and maybe a little desperate to know.
Jean simply stared at Eren’s back, “And give you ammo to make fun of me? Hell no!”
Eren leaned back from under the sink, grasping the toolbox between his hands as he smirked up at Jean from where he kneeled, “Fair point, but you probably deserve it.” He said, shuffling forward to kneel between Jean's thighs, “Bend over more, you fucking horse.”
Jean grumbled but did as Eren demanded, his upper half leaning over Eren, showing off the damage to his arm.
Grasping Jean's arm, Eren pulled it closer to get a good look. “Yeesh,” he whistled out, “That chicken fucked you up; it made you look like its bitch.”
Jean attempted to yank his arm back, his soft expression fading into annoyance, “Shut up! I can stitch myself up if you’re just going to be an ass!”
The words fell short considering Eren knew Jean like the back of his hand; he also knew Jean was injured on his dominant arm.
“Oh really?” The smirk on Eren’s face grew. “You can do it all by yourself?” The taunt in his voice wasn’t even subtle.
The two stared at one another, Eren smirking while Jean glared, gritting his teeth as he reluctantly gave his arm back to Eren, “That’s what I thought.” He hummed out, taking Jean's arm back in his grasp.
Ignoring the pained gasp that made his stomach churn, Eren prodded at the wound before he began to disinfect it; it was evident that it hurt even though Jean was gritting his teeth.
“Come on, it’s just some disinfect.” Eren murmured, his eyes never leaving the wound, though his hand did pat at Jean’s thigh.
It wasn’t long before the wound was prepared, and Eren was laughing his way off as he managed to get the story from Jean.
“You—why?!” Eren screeched out a laugh and sat beside Jean in bed as he leaned into the headboard. “That’s not how you—Jean!” Eren only laughed harder, squinted eyes watching as Jean put his head in his hands, ears burning red.
“Stop laughing!” Jean demanded, voice muffled from his hands. That only made Eren laugh harder, tears in his eyes as his stomach cramped.
“I’m going to piss myself; that’s so fucking stupid!” He wheezed out, slapping at Jean's thigh as he didn’t even attempt to try and calm down.
Jean deserved the mockery anyway.