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"But did your mentor tell you... that her 'good intentions' lead her to perform certain healing acts on Dan Heng, who had just finished his hatchling rebirth, so that he would regain the memories of his past life?"
Dan Heng lowered his head, trying desperately to keep his mind honed in on the page in front of him. He was busy reading about--he looked back up to the top of the page--Belobog's heating system. That was much more important than the echoing in the back of his skull.
"What did you say?"
He shook his head this time, hoping the memory would simply tumble out of one ear and onto the floor so he could kick it under the Archive's bookshelves and forget all about it. The snarl in the back of his throat kept that from happening.
"She believed that restoring the High Elder's knowledge of his past life would allow the Vidyadhara to resume their duty as the guardians of the Ambrosial Arbor..."
Another snarl, louder this time. His elbows hit the desk in front of the keyboard and his head fell into his hands.
"...quelling the strife within their clan and bringing everything back on the right path."
"Dan Heng?"
With a startle, he stood up straight and caught his breath, thankfully moving fast enough to not be caught. "Yes?" He said in a voice he knew wasn't the sort of cool it usually was.
Caelus shouldered the Archive door open a little wider, gold eyes almost fawnish as he took that first big step across the threshold. He had a mug in either hand and a quiet smile on his face. "Hey. We haven't seen you all day, so I thought I'd bring you something."
Dan Heng looked at the mugs. Just seeing the steam floating into the air from inside of them was enough to loosen his shoulders. "Coffee?"
"Hot chocolate." The Trailblazer stepped inside and gently shut the door behind him with his foot.
"Ah."
Caelus handed off the bigger of the two mugs--one of March's, with a repeating pattern of cats running along the outside of it--before leaning back against the edge of the desk. The mug was warm in the Vidyadhara's hands, as well as grounding, and with Caelus taking his usual seat on the edge of the desk beside Dan Heng's work, Dan Heng was certain that blasted memory wouldn't haunt him for much longer.
"What're you reading about?" The Trailblazer asked into his mug before taking a sip.
"Er..." He had to scroll up and look at the article again. "Belobog's heating system."
The pinch in Caelus' eyebrows was sign enough that there was going to be follow up questions, and not about the research. Dan Heng quickly took a sip of the hot drink, even if it burned the edge of his tongue.
"Anything interesting?"
He swallowed. "Not really."
"Something on your mind?"
There it was.
Normally it was so easy to lie, to power through and push off against that concern even if he knew that it would be so much better to just say something.
But what could he say? What could Caelus say to make it better? There was no making it better, it had already happened and there was nothing that could ever take it away from Dan Heng's history, let alone the rest of it. It would always haunt him and for what? An attempt to bring everything back to normal for the Vidyadhara? For the Xianzhou? What about him? What about his life? Dan Feng was dead for reviving a fallen friend, and as punishment they would do the same to him just so things could be easier for everyone else?!
He didn't realize his Cloudhymn magic had slipped until he felt his tail hit the ground with a loud whump!, startling him back into himself and Caelus five inches into the air.
"Whoa! Dan Heng!" It wasn't the most graceful of reactions, but the words didn't matter. Not when he pried the mug from Dan Heng's fingers and set it aside to make room for the following embrace. He looped his arms around the dragon's neck, and didn't make a single sound of resistance when the embrace was returned so tightly around his waist with claws digging into his jacket.
Dan Heng snarled and panted and whimpered, doing his level best not to break into sobs as Caelus held him so tight to his chest.
"Hey, it's okay," he heard the Trailblazer's voice softly in his ears, cutting through the decades long anguish that was still ringing inside like a gong. "You're here, you're safe, it's okay..."
"They--" Dan Heng's voice broke, "I could've--" A tear fell from each eye, clearing his vision for the split second it took for more tears to build.
Gravity brought Dan Heng down to his knees and Caelus followed after, the two landing right in the center of the massive curl of the dragon's tail before it shifted to hold onto Caelus' leg.
"It's alright, Dan Heng," Caelus nearly whispered into the crown of his head. "Just... Just cry first. Let it all go. I'll still be here when you've caught your breath."
And cry he did. Dan Heng cried and cried and cried for the first time in what felt like forever, and all the while Caelus held him to his heart like he was a part of it. And once the tears were gone, and his energy was nearly spent, Caelus handed him back his mug of hot chocolate and they stayed together until the drink was long gone and the only light left shining in the Archive was the stars outside the window.