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“Red Robin?”
“Red Robin, report.”
The silence on the comm line was probably making everyone worried. Not Jason. The Red Hood didn't care about the Bats, that was the word on the street and Jason would like to keep it that way, no matter how wrong it was. He couldn't let anyone know how much he cared– making yourself vulnerable like that was a fool's act. If living on the streets had taught him anything, it was that you keep your secrets close and your real feelings even closer.
“O, what's his last location?” Nightwing's voice was not panicked– at least, it wouldn't sound like it to someone who didn't know them. Jason could hear the undercurrent of concern and fear in his voice though. Younger siblings are good at picking out that sort of thing in their older siblings' voices. Not that Jason was anyone's sibling. Nope. (But he used to be.) (And he would like to be again, but that was nobody's business.)
Oracle rattled off the location and Jason saw the dot pop up on his own map. Instantly his feet were moving, making their way to the location RR was at.
“ETA 20 minutes,” Batman's voice was gruff, the voice modulator giving nothing away but Jason knew how much it scared him when his children were gone. It had taken him a long time to reconcile the thought with himself, to admit that perhaps Bruce did care about him too, in his own little emotionally constipated way.
“ETA 45 minutes,” Nightwing grit out.
“ETA 30 minutes,” Robin's voice sounded vaguely bored, but Jason had a suspicion that he was also worried. Not that Damian would ever admit to that; he also had a reputation to uphold and Jason could understand that.
Jason cleared his throat, speaking on the comm line for the first time that night with a flat, “ETA 3 minutes.”
He could hear the pensive silence over the comms and… It was a little rude, but he understood. Replacement and him didn't get along, that was a fact. Their first meeting had set the tone of their relationship for the rest of their lives and Jason couldn't demand anything of him. He tried to murder the little pretender, that was kinda hard to get over.
Still, it hurt. Jason was trying. He tried to not show that he cared, but he did, and he was trying to let it slip now and then. Trying to find his place in the manor again, every now and then, when he was up for it. But the way the Replacement tensed around him, the way he flinched when Jason moved a little too quick or too close, the way he never quite met Jason's eyes despite his politeness– it made him uncomfortable. Tim didn't live at the manor either, but Jason felt like he shouldn't be there if he was only making them uncomfortable. (Everyone else seemed happy to have him.) (Except for Damian, who didn't seem happy about anything.)
Replacement hates him, and is possibly traumatised by him. And although the last remaining dregs of the pit feel some sort of sadistic pleasure in making him uncomfortable, Jason doesn't want to push the limits of it too. He doesn't really care if the Pretender hates him, but he also doesn't want to be still hurting him one way or the other. The other Bats would eventually push Jason away if he still kept hurting their ex-Robin. So he stayed away, kept his responses to the younger man short and curt, and hoped that someday they could strike a peaceful compromise where they didn't hate each other. It would be too much to hope that they could be brothers someday.
“Hood,” Nightwing paused, and Jason tried not to roll his eyes at the obvious hesitation in his voice.
“I'm not going to hurt him,” Jason said as plainly as he could. Not that the Bats would believe him.
“That's not what I–” Nightwing tried to protest but Jason had reached the location and he turned off the comm to focus on searching for Tim instead. It had been the rooftop of some sort of building, filled with too many stores of what was probably water but could not be confirmed. Jason carefully looked around as he weaved through them until a flash of red caught his eye. On the ground some distance away was lying Red Robin's outfit. Beneath the outfit, there was something– no, someone , struggling to get out. Jason cautiously neared it and tugged off the heavy suit to reveal…
Wide, blue eyes looked at him, momentarily terrified before he masked his face into one of fake confidence. Jason could only stare at the boy who was clearly Timothy Drake-Wayne, but in his pre-teens. Like, ridiculously small. An actual child .
“W- Who are you?” Tim cocked his head up at him, looking determined. The whole effect was undermined by his nakedness that was currently only being covered because Jason dropped his RR outfit back on his lap in shock. Tim had hurriedly wrapped it around himself to shield his body. “Look mister, you, you don't scare me.”
Jason would believe him if he wasn't trembling while saying it. This was Tim before he ever had Batman's training, that much was obvious.
“Sure, little buddy,” the Red Hood's voice modulator disguised the amusement that had crept into his voice. “I'm the Red Hood. You remember your name?”
“Yes,” Tim answered, but that was it. What a smart cookie. Jason only felt a bit more amused. If this had been older Tim right now… the situation would be totally different. “I'm, I'm just gonna–”
“No can do,” Jason cut him off and held a hand out to stop him from where he was trying to escape. He noticed the way Tim was tense and trembling just a bit more when he spoke. He also wasn't meeting his eyes. Actually, Jason was wrong. This wasn't all that different from older Tim– wasn't that fantastic? He hadn't even beat this younger version of the replacement to death and he was still just as scared. “I have to take you back.”
Tim steeled and narrowed his eyes, body dropping into what was clearly a fighting stance, the best he could do while still on his knees and with a heavy kevlar outfit in his hands.
“You're not taking me anywhere,” Tim said, trying to hide the way he was afraid and… Jason sighed. What was he doing? This was just a, what, 10 year old? The Red Hood didn't exist back then. His outfit was meant to scare criminals and it was scaring a child right now. His helmet had to go off. He was still wearing his domino mask underneath, it should be fine.
Tim flinched when Jason raised his hands to unlock the helmet– he didn't pause at the flinch, but he winced at the way he kept scaring him. It took a few seconds but he got the helmet off and ran a hand through his hair to make sure it wasn't sticking out weirdly. The night vision was off but the rooftop lights were close enough that Jason could make out the way Tim's eyes squinted to take a better look at him.
“I'm the Red Hood,” Jason repeated, giving a gentle smile. His chest felt hollow and achy but he ignored it. “I don't hurt children.”
“You…’’ Tim didn't look scared anymore, so that was a win. But his eyes were as wide as saucers and he looked very shocked. “Are you somehow related to Jason Todd, Mr. Hood?”
If Jason hadn't been crouching, he would have stumbled. He had assumed that this was Tim before he became Robin. But maybe not? Or maybe it was just… Right, he remembered someone mentioning in passing that Tim had known their identities since he was a kid. Then, it wouldn't hurt to say the truth right? Protocol DA0512, subset C stated that they were allowed to share information that the person already knew.
“I am Jason Todd,” he smirked, wondering how the Replacement would react. Tim just looked skeptical.
“Yeah, right,” he said it… consolingly, as he patted Jason's arm and if Jason hadn't been trained to keep his face free of expression, his jaw would have dropped. “It's a good try, but Jason is barely 15. You're like, 23 at least. I'm not that stupid.”
Okay, rude . Jason was only 20! The Pit just made him look bulkier and bigger and just overall scarier.
“Alright, I should have done this from the start,” Jason sighed and dipped into his pockets to look for any spare outfit bundles he might have kept. He hadn't. Tim just warily stared, body still tensed in that fighting stance and Jason realised that the guns all over him probably did not help his imagination. “Your name is Timothy Drake. You are currently a vigilante working under Batman and that thing you're holding is your vigilante outfit. You go by the name Red Robin and you stopped responding to the comms so I was sent to find you and it looks like you have been… de-aged, with your memories wiped to the age of… How old are you?”
“Uh, 12,” if Tim seemed a little distracted, Jason couldn't blame him. He would have reacted the same if it was him who had turned 12. “Wait so, what year is this?”
Jason answered and then asked Tim what the date he last remembered was. It was a few months before he had gone… boom boom. Okay. Okay, he could work with this.
“So, so, you're really Jason Todd?” Tim's eyes were back to being teacup accompaniments. If Jason didn't know better, he would say that he was practically sparkling and vibrating. “You're Robin?”
The Pit was nearly gone, but it still reared its ugly head whenever it was Repl– Tim's voice saying that word. Jason ignored it. If he could, he didn't want to tell Tim what had happened between them. Maybe then he would be normal and unflinching around him.
“Not anymore, kid,” Jason huffed. How long until one of the Bats was here? He didn't want to taint Tim's view of him, but the longer they stayed together, the harder it would be to hide things. Tim gave him a sweet smile and the hollow ache was back.
“You wanna know a secret?” Tim offered. The kid-lover in Jason was roaring to indulge him, so he nodded. “You can give up the Robin mantle, but you'll always be Robin. You'll always carry it with you because Robin is magic and hope and light, and you're still a hero which means you're still all of that.”
Oh. Jason wasn't expecting that. He suddenly regretted removing the helmet simply because he couldn't hide the way Tim's words had hit right into his heart. Tim was 12 and he hadn't been Robin yet, but Robin already meant so much to him.
“You wanna know another secret?” Tim said, looking a little excited and his cheeks were flushed now, the red staining his pale skin adorably. Jason couldn't smile this time, even as he nodded.
“You are my favourite Robin,” Tim whispered, eyes wide and so bright and blue that Jason felt like they could swallow him. Maybe the earth should swallow him because what did he mean Jason was his favourite? Jason was no one's favourite. He could never match up to Golden Boy Dick Grayson, and then he had been replaced by Tim, the smarter, more polished, upgraded version of him. Jason wasn't Jason's favourite. “This is so cool. I'm a hero. And I'm fighting alongside my hero. Are we friends? Do we solve cases together?”
Tim was looking at him with those hopeful baby blues and Jason didn't know what to answer. His brain was still struggling to wrap around the idea that he was apparently Tim's favourite.
For once in his second life, Jason was glad that Batman appeared at that moment. He felt the presence the second Bruce's boot touched the rooftop floor and he just gave Tim a smile when he saw the little kid get even more excited at the sight of Batman.
“Hood, why weren't you answer–”
“Woah!!” Tim's eyes were wide and Jason couldn't see it, but he knew that even Bruce stuttered in his steps at the sight of him. His voice died in his throat too.
“Protocol DA0512,” Jason said as he stood up from his crouch and dusted off the knees. “You still got your extra civilian outfit bundle on you? Kid needs one and I got nothing.”
“Oh.” If Jason didn't know better, he would say that Batman was out of it. It was a bit funny, considering that Batman was prepared for anything, and he was the one who came up with all those protocols, one of which included being de-aged and getting temporary amnesia and whatnot. It didn't quite make sense that he would be so surprised just by Tim being a little younger. “Did you find the cause?”
“Undetermined,” Jason shrugged, “Didn't check but the rooftop seems clear. Whoever, or whatever did this, is long gone.”
“Right,” Batman turned to face Tim again and Jason decided that his job was done. He should leave now. But something kept his feet rooted and he was curious to see how Batman interacted with tiny Tim. So he walked a few steps away and turned around to watch as the big Bat went down on his knees and offered the clothes from his outfit bundle. “Hey there. I have Ro– er, just, clothes of your size here if you'd like to change. And then we have to get back to the cave.”
“The Batcave?!” Tim looked like his eyes would pop out of his skull any second. He reverently took the clothes when Batman nodded. “This is totally a dream. It's the wackest dream ever and I wish it never ends.”
Jason could see the way Bruce was being strangely slow and hesitant and he couldn't hold back the question the moment Tim ducked behind a water tower to change.
“What's got your panties in a twist, old man?” He made sure to sound just bored and amused enough, not an ounce of concern because that was stupid. Batman was acting strange but it was nothing to be worried about. Even if it was, Jason wouldn't be worried about Bruce, of course.
“He's…” Bruce hesitated and it was making Jason even more curious. “I have never seen him like this.”
For a brief moment, Jason was confused. And then it made sense. After all, when Tim became Robin, it was within a few months of Jason's death, back when Bruce was apparently off his rocker and beating everyone to death. There's no way he would have been this happy about meeting Batman then.
The Bruce of right now was hidden behind the cowl, but Jason knew that he was feeling a little lost.
“I just realised I haven't seen him happy in a long time,” he added quietly. “Not since… I came back.”
A little over a year then. Jason didn't know what to reply, so he didn't. There was silence for a few more seconds and then Tim stumbled out from behind the water tower, dressed in Damian's clothes. He dragged over the heavy kevlar outfit and held it out to Batman, who took it gratefully and folded it up. Tim didn't wait though, he bounced over to Jason and the older man stilled at the way Tim grabbed onto his belt.
“I just realised this,” he seemed excited again (not like he ever stopped) and it was doing things to Jason that he did not like, “but you said I go by Red Robin. And you are Red Hood. Does that mean we're partners? Are we?!”
Every question was like a punch to the gut. Jason didn't know how to answer and he really, really hated himself for removing that helmet. He glanced over at Bruce for help, but Batman was just staring at the two of them– useless as always , Jason thought angrily. Tim must have noticed though, because his grip loosened and he let go, looking a little sad.
“Sorry,” he said quietly, tiny fingers clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I'm being silly. You're Robin. I'm just… me. You probably have someone really cool and strong as your partner, right? But I'm sure I chose my name because of you! Because you're my favourite Robin, and you took on the moniker of Red Hood.”
“Yeah,” that was all Jason could croak out as he ruffled Tim's hair. He couldn't bring himself to speak and the way Tim instantly beamed and absolutely glowed with happiness at that simple touch was only breaking his heart further.
“Would you like to see the Batmobile, Tim?” Bruce finally spoke up and Jason tensed, ready to take the chance to run away now. Except Tim had turned and nodded excitedly at Batman, then grabbed Jason's hands, cheeks flushed with mirth and enthusiasm that Jason had never seen on his replacement before.
“C'mon, Jason!” Tim tugged, but it had the strength total of a gust of wind. Jason let himself be dragged anyway because there was no way he could extract himself from the child in front of him without hurting him.
“No names in the field.” Batman's instant reply made Tim straighten up and be more serious, but Jason could feel the way he was trembling to hide a little giggle. Jason could only let himself be dragged to the Batmobile, into the backseat with Tim. He ignored Bruce's eyes flickering over to them the whole ride; he couldn't see past the cowl but he could feel the gaze. He couldn't be bothered by it.
He was more haunted by the thought of what he had done.
✿
Apparently Batman notified Robin to meet up with Nightwing and told them to book it directly back to the manor since they were closer and he didn't want to stop the Batmobile on the way. Jason only sat and watched Tim from the corner of his eyes, the way he was buzzing with excitement and had tapered off on the talking after realising that Jason wasn't really responding to anything. He had patted his knee kindly and said, “Patrol must have been exhausting today. I'm sorry I made you run about looking for me.”
The Replacement would never say that to Hood. Their relationship was like walking on a ground covered by eggshells, and the spaces that weren't covered by the eggshells were hiding landmines beneath them. If this was older Tim, the conversation would have been stilted, awkward, and possibly would have ended with Jason making himself disappear in the most disturbing way possible. They didn't thank each other and they definitely didn't apologize.
But this Tim, who idolised him, who thought Jason was a hero, did not have any qualms being open and vulnerable with him like that. Even though Tim didn't have to apologise for anything, the fact that he was considerate like that was true of him even now. Jason had just never got to experience it before.
Jason opened the car door without thinking the moment Bruce had it parked in the cave. Tim stumbled out from behind him and Jason was pulled out of his thoughts when the tiny boy let out the loudest gasp.
“The freaking Batcave!” He was in awe and Jason couldn't help the tiny smile drawing up his lips. He remembered what it was like to be twelve and seeing the Batcave for the first time. Tim was, surprisingly, a cute kid. Jason hadn't been there to see him before puberty hit. It was strange, seeing a familiar face on a completely unfamiliar person. Tim wasn't moving, but Jason could tell how badly he wanted to touch everything. He was settling for just soaking the sight in with his eyes.
“B, are you going to tell us wh–” Dick's question was forgotten the moment his eyes fell on Tim. He had frozen in shock, the Nightwing suit still on but the mask unglued and off somewhere.
“Nightwing,” Tim sounded absolutely breathless. Yup. There it was. Jason knew he couldn't be anyone's favourite. Tim was a lying liar who lied. (Nothing new in that, so why did it still make something in his chest hurt?) “I- I mean, I'm, I didn't see anything!”
Tim hurriedly hid his eyes behind his hands. There was silence for a few seconds, before he lowered the hands and Jason could see the angry red flush all over his cheeks.
“I forgot I know your identity in the future,” Tim mumbled. Dick didn't deign to answer that with a proper reply. He ran forward to pick Tim up into a big hug that swallowed his lean and thin frame up. For a brief second, Jason worried that the boy had disappeared in the older man's arms. The gasp Tim let out was a little concerning but Jason knew that it was just because Dick was hugging him. The first Robin. Everyone knew that Tim was a huge fan of Dick and Bruce. So why was Jason here?
“Oh, my precious, you look so adorable,” Dick was crying short of an actual wail, looking happier than he had been in recent times. Another pang shot through Jason's chest when the Pit's voice murmured something about how Dick had never been this happy to see him when he was a child.
“Er, so, I'm just, going to leave now,” Jason couldn't actually bear to watch any more of this. His quota of emotions for the entire week was done in one night. He couldn't wait to run back to his safehouse and coop up there for a few days.
Tim seemed to have some other plans though.
He frowned even before Jason was done speaking and he hurriedly tried to scramble off Dick, who sadly let him go so that Tim could run up to Jason and hold onto his jacket, his eyes wide and blue and so innocent.
“Where are you going?” Tim's voice was small, and Jason had the distinct feeling of having kicked the littlest puppy in the world.
“That, uhm,” he didn't know how to answer anything. How do you break it to a child that your relationship wasn't what they thought it was? How could he explain the tangled web of their relationship through the past few years without breaking his heart? There was no way to do it.
Tim let his shirt go and stepped back, but Jason felt rooted to the spot. He couldn't get his legs to move but he saw the way Tim's face had dropped into a blank mask, one eerily close to his usual one. His eyes looked a little glossy though.
“I'm sorry,” Tim said quietly, like all the energy had been punched out of him. His hands were fisted around the hem of his own shirt, and Jason felt helpless. He didn't know how to tell Tim that it wasn't his fault. Everything that had gone wrong between them was…. “I kept pretending I couldn't see it because I thought that maybe I was just seeing it wrong because I didn't want it to be true, but… I can tell. I know we're probably not very close in the future. I must have done something to make you dislike me.”
His eyes were definitely watering. Jason inhaled sharply at the way Tim looked apologetic towards him. Big Tim would never, because he knew that he did not owe Jason any apologies. You don't owe your attempted murderer an apology.
“I don't know what I did, J- Jason, but,” Tim was floundering a little, looking a little heartbroken and Jason just couldn't wrap his head around anything at this point, “I promise I didn't mean to. Whatever it was, I'm sorry for it. I– You're my hero, and I don't want you to hate me.”
“I don't hate you,” it was out before Jason could stop himself, and then he couldn't stop the next words either. “I'm not the one who hates you. You should be the one hating me, kid.”
Tim looked confused, but at least that made him stop crying. Jason would take that as a win at this point. He had no clue what he was doing, if he was being honest.
“What do you mean?” Tim tilted his head just the slightest and Jason couldn't speak. He couldn't bring himself to break this Tim's heart. He didn't want to see this little version of Tim hate him too. Even if it had been brief, it was nice to be liked by his replacement for once. To be seen as a hero, to be seen as the magic Jason once believed himself to be but now knew he never was.
“Tim, come here,” Bruce abruptly called out and Jason flinched. He had kinda forgotten that the others were watching them, and now he felt even worse. Like he had been stripped of his armour and left to be scrutinized and dissected by his family. “You need to answer some questions for me, son. We need to figure out how to revert you back to your normal state.”
Tim hesitated and… wasn't that something? A Tim who didn't listen to Batman because he wanted to keep talking to Jason. It was like he had woken up in a different world.
“Will you still be here after I'm done with the questions?” Tim asked, looking cautious but still hopeful. Jason didn't even notice he was nodding until he had already done it. “Will you tell me what you meant by that then? You can think over how to say it if you aren't sure. But I want to know.”
Even as a kid, Tim still managed to screw Jason up. Protocol DA0512, subset C, clause A stated that if the person wants to know something in particular that they are already aware of, that information cannot be withheld from them.
With a jerky nod, Jason stepped back to where the medical cots were. He needed to lie down; tonight had been a bit too much for his heart. And now he was going to break a kid's heart. Fucking amazing. He lied there for a few minutes, ignoring the gentle sounds in the background of Bruce murmuring questions while he got Tim's blood and other data. Dick appeared from the corner of his eye, looking hesitant to speak.
“What is it,” Jason said, more like a statement than a question. Dick looked behind him, presumably where Tim was, then inched closer to sit down next to the bed. “You might want to be careful with your words, Dickwing. I'm really not in the mood right now.”
“I get it,” Dick nodded. His face was doing something, but Jason didn't quite think it was pity that he was expressing. It was something akin to that, though. “I just wanted to tell you that… Tim is tougher than you think he is. He always has been. Just be honest, and it will be fine.”
“You really want me to be honest with him?” Jason raised an eyebrow. “ Me ? Have you forgotten what happened or are you trying to make a kid cry, Dick?”
“Just, trust me on this one,” Dick said, his voice soft and strangely understanding. Jason would never admit that it made some of the tension leave his body. Some part of him still wanted to let everything go and just rely on his family, even though experience had taught him otherwise. “Be true to him and he won't cry a single tear.”
“He already has,” Jason whispered into the silence. “I think I've made him cry enough for this lifetime.”
“Jason…”
Dick didn't finish what he wanted to say. Jason looked down and saw that he had got out of his seat and Tim was sitting in it now. Taking that as his cue, Jason sat up and crossed his legs. There was no easy way to get the words across anyway.
“Hi,” Tim gave him a small smile. Jason felt a little sick.
“Hi.” His throat felt a little tight, but that was to be expected. “Are you sure you want to know? It's not… It's really not a pretty picture.”
“I do,” Tim nodded. “I know I must have changed as I grew up, but, I think I would still know what I would feel. I'm sure I wouldn't hate you.”
“Well, what I will say might change your mind,” Jason felt even worse saying that because this was actually a form of torture. Part of it was that he couldn't even blame the Pit completely. There was still a part of him that resented his replacement. It had faded over time, especially now that Tim himself had been replaced by Damian and was no longer wearing the Robin colours. Admitting that, admitting that he had beaten up a child, admitting to all he did while taken to an extreme by the Pit– it was torture.
But he had to speak. It was hard, but he slowly recounted what had happened to him, and then what happened at Titan's Tower. With every sentence out of his mouth, he hated himself a little more but Tim didn't look phased at all. He listened calmly to everything, and only gave the briefest of expressions every once in a while, like the furrowing of his eyebrows when Jason said he died, or a slight wince every time Jason mentioned another body part he had purposefully broken.
“I see,” Tim finally spoke after Jason was done. The older man had curled into himself a little, in slight preparation for the child's reaction, but Tim was… he was calm and his face was blank, not quite good or bad. “I understand.”
“What… do you understand?” Jason asked carefully. Tim's reaction didn't feel quite normal. Jason would not have been able to take it this calmly if he met someone who told him that they beat the living daylights out of him and wanted him dead, however briefly that was for.
“You and me,” Tim said, shrugging lightly. Jason was perplexed, and the kid noticed that, because he clarified. “What happened between us. What you must have felt, and what I must have too.”
“So, you get it?” Jason asked. “You get why you hate me?”
“I don't hate you,” Tim offered with a rueful smile. “Not like this, and I'm sure, not when I grow up either.”
“Kid, if older you doesn't hate me for that, I would have to tell Bruce to send you to therapy,” Jason muttered, more to himself than Tim but it made the small boy snort.
“No, you don't get it,” Tim looked up at the ceiling, a smile on his face and eyes glassy. “And I get why you don't get it. You don't know me– older me that is. You've never actually had a proper conversation with me, have you?”
“This is our first,” Jason admitted. How do you even talk to someone who you nearly killed out of misplaced anger that should have been directed toward the adults in his life like the Joker, or even Bruce, but instead ended up being taken out on a child? How do you confront somebody about the jealousy and ache and hatred you feel not just for the place they stole from you, but for the fact that they were probably better at it and enjoying all that you couldn't?
“Tim?” Bruce had walked up to them, a tablet in his hand. Tim looked up at him from his chair and seeing him next to Bruce made Jason balk at just how tiny he was. He was so young, so impressionable, a child– a child who would take up the mantle of Robin in a year's time when Jason ‘dies’. “My correspondence with Zatanna has informed us that you'll be making a full recovery without any intervention required.”
“Woah,” Tim was back to being starry eyed as he stared at Bruce without his cowl in the Batman suit. “That means I just stay like this?”
“Yeah,” Bruce's eyes were soft and he ruffled Tim's head. Jason noticed how the kid leaned into the touch, beaming and positively glowing from it. “She said it will stick for 24 hours or maybe even less, because whoever cast that particular spell on you was an amateur.”
“Do you know who did it?” Tim looked excited to hear about a case, even if it was his own.
“I'm going to start working on that now,” Bruce nodded his head back to where the computers were. Tim was on the edge of his chair's seat.
“Can I help?” He asked, buzzing slightly. Bruce smiled and shook his head.
“No can do,” he said, voice warm in a way that Jason remembered from his own days back when he lived at the manor. From the nights where Bruce would tuck him in, or read out a story to him once or twice even though Jason had already read through it. Back when everything used to be better in his dad's voice, back when Bruce was the best father he could have ever dreamt of. “Why don't you finish your chat with Jason and then go check out the manor instead?”
“I can do that?” Tim was fully vibrating now and if their conversation hadn't happened, Jason would have chuckled at it. “Sweet! Thanks Mr. Wayne-Batman sir!”
“Just Bruce is fine, chum,” Bruce laughed. Jason couldn't remember seeing him this relaxed in a long time. “I'll be at the computer if you need me for anything.”
Tim nodded and Jason watched Bruce leave. Dick and Damian had long disappeared up the staircase and it was now back to just the two of them in the medbay.
“Older me doesn't hate you,” Tim said confidently, giving Jason a smile. “I can't say with 100% confidence, but from what I know of myself… I'm sure he feels angry, and betrayed, and maybe even a little scared around you. But he doesn't hate you.”
“That's not really much better,” Jason sighed. “I deserve all of that, anyway. And I still think you hate me because there's no way you couldn't.”
“I'm sure he is bitter about some things,” Tim mused, “but you're my hero, Jason. I don't want to be Robin. I've never once thought of being Robin, as amazing and cool as it was. You said you died and I became Robin a few months after that– you weren't there when that happened, and I wasn't either, but the reason for it must have been something really big or important if I donned the Robin suit. And while I've never thought of being Robin myself, I know that if I got the chance to be Robin, it wouldn't be something I could give up easily either. Robin is… Robin is hope and magic and the guiding light of Gotham; he is someone who deals justice, and I could never give that up.”
“Your hero worship of Robin and Batman needs to be studied,” Jason mumbled to himself. Tim didn't hear it because he was too focused on what he was saying.
“I'm sure older me understands your anger though he may not be happy with how you dished it,” he continued. “But I don't think I could ever stop admiring you. Even as Red Hood, you're still a hero. Your brand of justice may not be the same as Batman's, but it is still justice. You're not a bad guy who's going around hurting innocents, are you?”
Tim's expectant look made Jason huff out a quiet ‘no’. Just you.
“Then I'm sure I still admire you,” he said simply. “I'm sure I still want you to get to know me. I want to be your brother so badly, and I don't think I'll ever outgrow that. You've always been so cool, Jason, I really wanted to watch you become a hero even cooler than Nightwing.”
“Don't think I managed that, but don't tell Dick I said that,” Jason laughed a little hysterically. He didn't understand this kid. Tim was… something else entirely. His own prediction of his future self sounded ludicrous, but it also felt strangely right in some ways.
It explained the way Jason would sometimes catch Tim staring at him. It explained the way he held steadfast to the no-killing rule and got upset at Jason for it, but never had any other complaints. It explained the way Tim seemed both relieved and hopeful after they had a terse and awkward but overall good conversation of even two lines. It explained so many things and yet it still felt like it explained nothing .
Jason had done nothing to warrant this kind of devotion from the kid. All he had done was ruin him, so by all means, Tim should hate him.
“Do you hate anyone , kid?” Jason didn't know why he asked that. Maybe if he found out who Tim hated, he would know the limits he had to cross to join the list, since apparently attempted murder was not enough. Tim blinked at him, those owl-like big, blue eyes seeming to see right through him and through nothing at the same time.
“Not really, no,” Tim said, sounding contemplative. “Hate is such a strong word. I don't think I've had any experiences so far that would make me hate anyone. But I know I would hate someone only if they tried to hurt my loved one repeatedly. I think… all life is precious. Human lives are not so long that we would not sense the urgency or the finite nature of time. But it's also not so short that people cannot change. With the right conditions, I believe even those who have done wrong things can become better people.”
“All of them?” Jason raised an eyebrow. He had been right. His little replacement really was like Bruce so much.
“Maybe not all ,” Tim's face scrunched up adorably as he corrected himself, “but most of them. I think I would end up pitying the ones who are incapable of that change. And, anyway, even if I hated someone, I don't think I'd want them dead.”
“If you would hate someone for hurting your loved ones, why wouldn't you hate them for hurting you?” Jason asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Tim tilted his head, looking slightly confused.
“If you hurt me, that's physical pain,” Tim tried to explain. “But if you hurt the ones I love… you're physically hurting them, and emotionally hurting me. The people I love are my whole world. I don't have many things I hold precious, but the ones I do, I will do everything in my power to protect them. That includes Gotham, the people of this city, and my family. You can hurt me and it would not anger me, but if you hurt what is mine…”
There was silence for a while. Jason tried to digest everything he had learned about Tim in this short while. The kid just sat there and stared around the medbay curiously while he waited patiently.
“You're a strange kid,” Jason finally said. He couldn't say he agreed or even fully understood Tim, but he did sorta get it.
“You're not the first to say that,” Tim shrugged, looking unbothered. “So, will you promise me that you'll talk to older me when I revert back?”
Jason couldn't say no to that hopeful little face. He could only nod.
“I can't wait to actually be your brother for real,” Tim whispered, looking as excited as when he saw anything Batman or Robin related. Jason's heart clenched at the sight of the young boy, still untainted and without the scars of loss and grief and death that would change him in ways he did not know of yet.
But that wasn't a worry for this tiny Tim. Jason would have to man up and confront older Tim with what he truly felt, and give him the apology he deserves. But that was for later. Right now, the boy in front of him was a child who had been promised that he could explore the manor. So there was only one thing he could say.
“Wanna go check out Wayne manor with me?”
“Yes!”
He could start trying to be a good brother from now, though.
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