Chapter Text
“I like talking to you, too.”
That’s what Petra answered with. She feels like only she could seem so flustered over texts, despite how little emotion she puts into them. And that isn’t for lack of trying. Petra won’t admit it, but texting isn’t her strong suit as much as it’s Lukas’s. She just enjoys it a little more.
Petra hates phone calls, which is ironic, because she’d had the immediate urge to call Jesse the moment she said that. Maybe to ask to hang out, or to meet somewhere so they could talk about their days. Something simple.
But school did exist, so Petra settled on waiting for their routine morning walk instead.
Although they did text for a little while.
For one, Petra learned that Olivia’s dad has a heart of gold and a strong sense of spirit and drive, which explains Olivia’s blunt personality. Jesse also talked about how her and Olivia’s parents were the sole reason they even became friends.
In turn, Petra mentioned how her relationship with her own parents was more of an “it’s your life” scenario. They trust Petra enough to not feel the need to be emotionally available—or at least, it doesn’t seem like they are. Petra will always be comfortable reaching out to them if she’s ever in a tough spot, but she can’t always trust that they’ll give sound advice, considering how little they know about her life right now.
Upon learning this, Jesse went on to make the point that the sense of disconnecting from your parents comes with growing up. While she does feel hurt about not being near her own parents, she always trusts that they’ll be there.
sometimes I have to remind myself that my parents
being there for me really is enough.
if I can trust them to fall back on, I know I’ll be okay
that’s how I help myself anyway :P
And Petra honestly really appreciated that perspective on things. So yeah, maybe her parents aren’t so bad.
I need to get Dad caught up on all this. He’d laugh.
As the air is getting colder, Petra’s wardrobe is getting thicker. She gets ready for the day and goes with her Carhartt jacket again; maybe she should start nicknaming it her “Monday Jacket.”
She considers a hat, being her beanie, but goes against that because she knows it’ll get warm once she’s inside. She proceeds to opt for jeans instead of sweats, boots instead of Converse, and she even wears both straps of her bag as she walks out the door.
Is this “subconscious urge” to impress Jesse really so subconscious when it feels like it’s so obvious?
What am I, writing journal prompts? Get it together.
Petra doesn’t say much to Stella when she heads out. Granted, Stella doesn’t ask much. Whatever she got up to over the weekend clearly left her tired; she’s struggling to get out of bed, let alone talk as much as she usually does. Petra has her suspicions as to why, but it isn’t really her problem to deal with. There’s plenty of bottled water in the fridge.
When Petra gets outside, the brisk morning air feels relieving against her skin. Walking towards where she and Jesse usually meet, the buzz in her chest grows into a contrasting hot flame, all from simply thinking about her.
Petra knows that seeing Jesse for the first time since what feels like “everything” will knock the wind out of her. Seeing her sweet smile, her bright eyes, her cute outfit, whatever it may be. Petra knows that she’ll fall in love with all of it again. And again. And again.
Cool it, Petra.
Once she makes it, Petra stands idly for no longer than ten minutes before she notices Jesse approaching from the opposite direction. Pretty as she always is. They make eye contact and Petra straightens up a little. Jesse stops just a few steps away, her smile oh-so sweet.
"Hey. Morning." Petra greets.
Jesse’s smile brightens. “Morning,” she echoes.
And so, they start walking to class like they’ve been doing it forever. Petra doesn’t even think about matching Jesse’s pace; it just seems to happen naturally.
For a good while, neither of them says anything, and it’s the kind of silence that teeters between comfortable and too aware. She figures Jesse’s probably thinking the same thing she is:
“How do I make it not weird?”
Eventually, Petra caves. “So,” she says, “you survived that whole ‘furniture ordeal’ with Olivia?”
Jesse lets out this breathy little laugh that makes Petra’s shoulders relax instantly. Her answer comes quickly. “Barely. She got one of those desks where you have to screw the legs on by hand.”
“Oh, bummer,” Petra’s grin tilts up on one side, her confidence slowly creeping back. “Her parents were there to help though, right?”
“Yeah, her dad. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle,” Jesse waves dismissively. “It was just annoying. What about you, though?” The shift back onto Petra has her gripping the straps of her bag a little tighter. “How’d your day end up going? I’m sorry again that I couldn’t hang out.”
Petra hadn’t even been thinking about that, but hearing the apology sends a small jolt through her chest anyway.
“It’s all good,” she says, shrugging like she hadn’t been nauseous waiting for that text back. “My day was fine,” she pauses to think, her eyes flicking forward. “Hung out with Lukas, got food, walked around…basically just spent it with him.”
When Petra glances back, Jesse’s already watching her, and Petra can read that little spark of envy before Jesse even opens her mouth. “Better than mine,” the shorter girl comments.
Petra laughs under her breath. “Yeah. It was nice. A good distraction.”
That gets Jesse’s attention. “Distraction? From what? The single assignment you’ve done so far?”
Petra’s resulting laugh comes easily. Jesse is genuinely funny. It brings her enough comfort to finally say what’s been on her mind. “If I’m being honest,” she meets Jesse’s gaze head-on, her voice softening. “You.”
The reaction is immediate. Jesse's face goes red, her gaze averted and her lips curled in a bashful little smile. Like Petra just told her some big secret. It’s so cute it almost kills her. It reminds Petra of what happened at the library, and remembering that night makes her heart flutter.
Then the overthinking strikes. It only took about two seconds. Maybe that was a bit much?
She shakes off her growing pile of nerves with a sudden laugh, covering her face with a hand. “Okay. Sorry. That was corny. Forget I even said that.”
“What—no! No, it was…”
Jesse’s panic is also cute. Petra drops her hand just in time to see her scrambling for words. “It’s okay, Petra. I…” Petra tilts her head, amused. Jesse won’t look at her. “I feel the same way, actually. So.”
Petra blinks. Then smiles, slow and small. “…Oh yeah?”
The way Jesse’s face visibly goes redder answers for her. It’s ridiculous how obvious she is, considering how clueless Petra felt last week. She wonders if Jesse ever felt a similar way. “Definitely,” Jesse answers. “I don’t think you’re corny at all.”
Petra chuckles, a warmth blooming somewhere in her chest that she really doesn’t want to think too hard about. She could get used to this. “Thanks.”
As they reach familiar steps, Jesse bumps her shoulder lightly against Petra’s. “Should I be sorry for distracting you?”
That playful little smirk does dangerous things to Petra’s composure. “I mean, you’re pretty hard to forget about,” she damn-near mumbles in response. “You can’t blame me.”
Petra doesn’t even have to look to know Jesse’s smiling at the ground. She catches the faintest glimpse of it anyway, and it’s so. Cute.
They start up the steps. The stone’s worn smooth, and Jesse’s watching her footing, giving Petra the moment to breathe and to silently tell herself to not think about kissing her.
“You’re not making this easy,” Jesse suddenly says, almost too quiet to catch. They crest the steps, nearly getting swallowed by the stream of students heading to class. Now that it’s the second week, more commuting students have actually shown up. It’s starting to get busy here.
“Making what easy?” Petra scoffs good-naturedly, but something about that comment makes her stomach twist.
Jesse seems to hesitate for a beat too long before answering, much to Petra’s disappointment, “Nothing.”
Petra slows, not buying that answer for a second. “Jesse.”
Jesse slows too, stopping only when they both make it over to the side of the stair railings, out of everyone’s way. She turns to Petra with that nervous half-smile, her tone apologetic. “Okay, okay. You really wanna know?”
Petra’s heart lurches. She’s never seen Jesse quite like this before. “Kinda, yeah.” She then takes a step closer, both out of a slight habit and just to see what Jesse will do.
Jesse tilts her head up, trying not to grin as she murmurs, “Use your imagination.”
Damn. For a moment, Petra’s brain blanks. She blinks, processing, and then lets out a quiet scoff. “Fine,” she flirts, offering a shrug. “Not like I haven’t anyway.”
Jesse’s resulting laugh is small, and she glances away. “Whatever.”
“Oh, that’s it?”
“What?” Jesse’s eyes dart up instantly, her laughter growing.
“You can dish it out, but you can’t take it?” Petra is enjoying their banter, though there is a slight heat beneath it that she doesn’t quite manage to hide with those words. She tries not to let it, but her frustration over that near-kiss is really starting to bleed through. Not like it’s Jesse’s fault.
But Jesse’s close enough now that Petra can smell the faint hint of perfume on her, and it’s throwing her completely off-balance. She can’t feel annoyed for long, not as she watches Jesse look around, catching how public this is.
Jesse doesn’t step back. “I mean, I think I’m taking it just fine,” she finally says, her voice lower, steadier. She has to tilt her head up a bit to meet Petra’s eyes. “Are you?”
The question hits harder than Petra expects. She swallows, pulse skipping when Jesse’s gaze flicks down to her lips for half a second. Petra catches herself doing the same before she can stop it. This is becoming something different already and Petra’s suddenly very aware of wherethey’restandingandshe’sgonna—
“I’m gonna be late, I think,” Petra blurts, breaking eye contact first. It’s the best excuse that she can think of, other than “I might kiss you if I don’t leave right now,” or something along those lines.
“...Right,” Jesse hums, seemingly confused yet content all at once, if that’s even possible. She steps back just enough. The air between them feels cooler immediately. “Well, thanks for walking me as always, Petra.”
“Anytime,” Petra manages, rubbing the back of her neck. It’s a nervous tell she’s trying (and failing) to break. “See you at lunch?”
“See you!”
Petra gives her a final smile before reluctantly turning away, heading toward her own class. She hears Jesse do the same. Her heart’s still going at an embarrassing pace, and she shoves her hands in her pockets to ground herself.
She’s fucked.
———
“Somebody’s wide-awake,” Lukas comments, deadpan, watching Jesse walk in with some pep in her step.
“I slept well,” is her only response as she drops her bag to the floor, settling into her seat.
Lukas eyeballs her, scrutinizing. “You’re in a mood.”
“Whatdoyoumean?” Jesse answers way too quickly, her head snapping up. This is when she realizes that she’s on a bit of a dopamine high. Relax.
Meanwhile, Lukas laughs, “Did something happen?” He inquires. “You’re like, loaded with energy right now. It’s kinda freaking me out. Second week jitters?” He says it amusedly, but not accusingly. Jesse can work with that.
“I had a good weekend, honestly,” is what she goes with. “And I was pretty tired, so I guess I just slept it off.”
Lukas’s gaze lingers. “You found a sorority already?”
“What?”
“Oh,” Lukas blinks, apparently confused that Jesse is confused. “Well, this weekend there were a ton of little get-togethers in the dorms. All of them were hosted by frat or sorority members who are probably graduating in like, three months—”
“Oh,” Jesse interjects quickly, seeing where this is going. “Lukas, I’m not a part of any of that.” Despite trying not to, Jesse laughs when she answers, finding it oddly charming that Lukas knows so much about college life. Especially a side of it that doesn’t seem to suit him at all. Jesse couldn’t imagine doing anything like that herself, considering her more introverted habits. At least not this year.
Lukas nods tentatively, seeming to understand, and a silence settles. Then, Jesse asks him rather bluntly: “Are you—?”
“Nope.”
Jesse barely has time to process the answer before it comes. “Okay.” Internally, she’s relieved that Lukas doesn’t seem to know anything. She also wonders what exactly he’s hiding. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’ll remember to sleep terribly from now on, just for you.” Jesse reels things back in, sparking some banter.
Lukas smirks. “Oh, you’re too kind.”
The two share a laugh, then fall into a much more comfortable silence as other students file in. The class starts no more than five minutes later. It’s a pretty standard lecture today, and amidst everything, Jesse can appreciate the time to let her mind relax. Much to her surprise, though, after about 20 minutes of taking notes from slides, the class is given a real assignment.
“This was originally designed to be a short-form economic analysis, but as we know, math is the backbone of everything,” the professor says, clicking to a slide displaying a list of names. “When you click the link posted, pick one of these businesses listed here, all local. You should recognize them.”
Amidst the list, Jesse catches herself looking for that 24-hour diner Petra took her to. She doesn’t find it.
The professor continues explaining. The assignment is to analyze how calculus plays a big part in optimizing maximizing profits. Scary big words! And more specifically, students are to make up related, fake scenarios linked to the business of choice.
Simple enough. Annoying, but simple.
“I recommend working in groups,” the professor goes on. “You can pick your own partners. But of course, it’s up to you.”
And that makes Jesse's heart lurch, because of course, the first person she thinks to ask for help is Petra. Damn-near simultaneously, though, Lukas glances over at her. He has a pointed look on his face, as if he’s asking something. Jesse already knows. She smiles at him and nods.
“Ugh, thank you,” Lukas sighs with relief. “I swear, nobody in here talks.” He hushes his voice for that last part, leaning in close. Jesse shares a laugh with him under her breath.
As lecture comes to a close, Jesse thinks hard. What was originally watching the professor talk quickly turns into zoning out, which then turns into thinking ahead. I could study with Petra tonight. They could work next to each other for the company. That would be nice.
But how could she bring that up?
Regardless, if Lukas knows that she and Petra nearly kissed, he isn’t acting like it. Which is honestly a relief: that’s the last thing Jesse needs on her mind right now.
Ironic, considering it’s been the only thing on her mind for the past two days.
———
By the time Petra reaches the dining hall, the others are already there, much to her surprise. Normally she’s there first. She must’ve zoned out on her way there.
Lukas is the first to spot her once she gets her meal of choice. “Hey Petra!”
Olivia and Jesse echo his warm greeting. Petra smiles back at them, “Hey, guys.” She waits for Lukas to slide over so she can get past; she likes the window seat. She then sets her tray down with a soft thunk, tossing her bag under the table.
“Glad you decided to show up,” Olivia teases.
“I was like, two minutes behind you,” Petra lies, grabbing a fry off her tray.
Olivia opens her mouth to respond, but Lukas beats her to it. “Can I have one?”
Petra glances over at him. He’s eyeballing her fries. “Fine. One.”
As Lukas reaches over and grabs well over one fry, Jesse and Olivia start up a conversation. Or rather, they continue talking about what sounds like their senior homecoming. “I still feel like you shouldn’t have sold that dress,” Olivia is saying, arms folded and resting on the table. “It was so cute. You could’ve at least saved it for casual-formal stuff.”
“That dress was boring. You’re exaggerating,” Jesse answers flippantly, prompting Petra to look over at her again. She can’t help but feel a bit warm under the collar. Something about the image of Jesse in a “cute dress.”
“You went to homecoming, Jesse?” Lukas speaks up, earning a bark of laughter from Olivia.
“Yeah, after weeks of convincing,” Olivia bumps Jesse in the side, earning a playful nudge back. “All for it to be boring anyway.”
“It wasn’t too bad,” Jesse insists with a laugh. “I liked seeing everyone, taking photos, dancing…”
And suddenly, Jesse’s words fade, tapering into a silence that sits for just a beat too long. The sudden shift prompts worry to settle in Petra’s chest, and she glances over at Olivia, questioning.
Olivia sighs. “There was also this guy—”
“Aiden,” Jesse interrupts, suddenly speaking to Petra directly. The taller girl nearly flinches in surprise. “I mentioned him to you once, remember?”
Aiden, Aiden, Aiden… “Oh, yeah. Mister ‘worse than an ex but not an ex?’”
That makes Olivia snort. Jesse nods, “Yeah, him.”
“Am I missing something?” Lukas cuts in, a confused look on his face.
Petra doesn’t get the chance to echo Lukas’s remark before Jesse answers. “It wasn’t a big deal, it was just annoying, but,” Jesse makes a clear effort to find the best words. “He’s always been kind of a bully, and that night he decided to target me, I guess.”
At the notion of being bullied, Petra hums knowingly. “Sounds like high school.”
“You only know a fraction of it,” Jesse responds, shaking her head. “Y’know, it’s always been sad to me how Aiden acts at his age. I guess that’s just the hand he was dealt as a kid.”
“Ouch,” Lukas snickers. Olivia laughs with him.
Petra simply curls a brow. “You never actually said what he did, though,” she points out. She can’t help but be curious.
Olivia shoots Jesse a pointed look, encouraging but not pushing. Jesse simply shakes her head again, dismissive. “We can go into all that another time.” And that's okay with them.
They move on, conversation flowing as usual. As the minutes tick by and their trays slowly clear, Petra can’t help but wonder when, or if her and Jesse are ever going to talk about that night. She feels that she should be the one to bring it up. But not here. Not now.
She’d still trying to untangle that knot in her chest, still recovering from the mild emotional whiplash of Sunday. Can I really be blamed? The loud buzz of a near-kiss followed by a day of Jesse being unreachable and then suddenly texting her like everything is fine? It’d thrown her for a loop.
Everything isn’t just fine. Jesse is kind. Funny. Soft. Such a breath of fresh air considering the last girl. Everything about Jesse is more than fine.
“I just like talking to you.”
That message stuck with Petra longer than she’s been willing to admit.
“You good over there?” Lukas nudges Petra’s knee gently under the table, barely audible over Olivia’s ranting about laundry.
Petra merely nods, chewing, then glances across the table, just in time to see Jesse glance up too. They make eye contact, and Jesse offers a soft, almost reassuring smile.
Yeah. Jesse’s more than fine.
Conversation rolls on, and Petra laughs along. But she’s waiting for a lull, a moment where she can say something without making it weird. She knows Jesse has econ too, and they’d talked about needing to actually start doing some of the work this week. It’d be a good excuse to spend time with her. A safe one.
The moment comes when Olivia gets up to throw out her tray, Lukas trailing behind her, mid-argument about whether or not Redstone Redemption II deserved game of the year.
The second they’re gone, Petra glances at Jesse again. She’s picking at a half-eaten slice of pizza, her fork tracing patterns into her plate.
Petra clears her throat. “Hey, so…” Her voice is as casual as she can make it. “You start any of the econ stuff yet?”
Jesse glances up and shakes her head. “That? Oh, not yet. I just, like, stared at the prompts.” A playful smirk suddenly tugs at her lips. “Why? You offering to tutor me?”
This girl. Petra raises an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth quirking. “You really think I’m smart enough to tutor you?”
Jesse shrugs. “I think you’re smart enough to keep things interesting, that’s for sure." She shifts in her seat, taking a breath. "But…I did get this assignment in calc today that I have to work on."
The pause that follows is short but tense. Petra exhales, fingers drumming lightly on the side of her tray. Come on.
“Well...I was... thinking I’d hit the library later. If you wanted to—?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m down.”
Petra blinks. She hadn’t expected Jesse to answer that fast, but she definitely isn’t complaining. “Cool,” she says, and she hopes that the grin threatening to creep up her face isn’t as obvious as it feels. “So, after your last class then?”
“Sounds good,” Jesse nods, then leans back slightly in her seat. “I’ll bring snacks,” she half-jokes.
Petra huffs out a quiet laugh. She isn’t sure what else there is to say except, “I'm sure you will.”
Olivia and Lukas are returning now, practically bickering, both of them clearly convinced they’re right. But for the first time all day, Petra isn’t paying them any attention, because Jesse’s still looking at her. And this time, neither of them are looking away.
———
Petra doesn’t go straight to the library after class.
She tells herself she just needs to clear her head, maybe grab a drink from some vending machine, maybe just to kill some time. But the truth is, she doesn’t want to show up early because she doesn’t want to look too eager, even if that’s exactly what she is.
So she ends up wandering.
The sun’s low by the time she finds herself on the quieter side of campus. It’s that comforting orange hour, where everything surrounding Petra has this gentle haze. She settles herself under one of the campus’s many trees, scrolling her phone absentmindedly, not really reading anything. She contemplates texting Lukas, but decides against it. With Jesse’s class having not ended yet, she has the time to think. About a lot.
Despite the effort to play it cool all day, the second she’s alone, everything rushes back in. Friday night. Last night. This morning. Jesse’s smile at lunch, sweet and sweeter, like she hadn’t spent the past twenty-four hours on Petra’s mind.
Petra leans her head back against the tree bark, eyes slipping shut for a moment. That almost-kiss keeps replaying in her head. Not just the way Jesse looked at her, but the way Petra felt. Her heart was pounding. Her hand had been itching to reach out, just to touch her, just to feel her say yes without needing to speak. But the pressure. The fear.
Oh but the rush. Petra misses that. Petra misses Jesse.
I should go now.
Petra straightens up. She keeps asking herself: what if it really had been fine? What if the timing had been a second different? What if she’d just gone for it? Would Jesse have kissed her back?
Despite it all, Petra grapples with the fact that Jesse had given her the yes. Because who has ever said yes like that before?
Petra opens her eyes and exhales slowly. There’s no way to know if this is real. Not until she tries again. If she ever gets that close.
”If you want to kiss her, you should.”
She hears Lukas’s voice in her head, annoyingly smart in the way only good friends get to be.
“Brave, proud of you.”
Petra loves that guy to death, but man, he’s a pain in the ass sometimes.
She picks at the frayed stitching in her pockets, teeth worrying the inside of her cheek. It sounds so simple when Lukas says it. But simple doesn’t mean easy. Still, she’s not trying to spend the rest of her life in the “almost” category. That much, at least, she’s sure of.
So she stands up straighter, stretches, and checks the time on her phone. Fifteen minutes until her class ends.
She pockets her phone and turns toward the path that leads back through the courtyard, toward the heart of campus, toward the wide steps and tall walls of the library. She doesn’t feel entirely confident yet. But she does feel sure. And maybe that’ll be enough.
———
Petra gets there early anyway.
Not stupid early, but early enough to give herself a few minutes alone at least. It’s also long enough to pick a corner table tucked along one of the quieter aisles, far from the big windows. A spot with enough privacy to not feel watched, but not so much so that it seems like she chose it on purpose. Even though she absolutely did.
She sits, opens her laptop, and scrolls through her econ notes without really reading them. Her pulse is annoyingly fast. She’s been trying to keep a lid on it since lunch, but unsurprisingly, she hasn’t been able to stop replaying Jesse’s little smile when she’d said “I'm down,” like it was the easiest decision in the world.
Gods. She’s already smiling like an idiot, and Jesse’s not even here yet.
The sound of footsteps makes her look up. Jesse appears a second later, one strap of her bag slung over her shoulder, with her red hair-clip still in place. Her face brightens the moment their eyes meet. “Hey,” she says, a little breathless from climbing the stairs.
Petra’s mouth quirks. “Hey.”
Jesse pulls out the chair beside her, not across from her. “Ready to commit to actually studying for a while?” She teases, dropping her stuff with an easy little sigh. She nudges Petra’s knee by accident, doesn’t apologize, and settles in like this is just what they do. It feels weirdly normal. The anticipation doesn’t vanish, but instead transforms into something steadier.
“...Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Jesse eventually goes on to ask Petra about the assignment she got in calc, and Petra is happy to take on helping out, her own studies be damned. She’s definitely grateful she doesn’t have to take calc herself, though.
They split the assignment into parts. They choose a restaurant just three miles from the main campus, and Petra takes on the first few questions while Jesse figures out how to calculate the opportunity cost for a fake scenario involving the food supply. It’s tedious and kind of funny in its absurdity, and Jesse mumbles commentary under her breath while typing.
“So why the hell does anyone even grow wheat when sugarcane has a higher trade yield?” she mutters
Petra hums, answering without really thinking. “Because wheat doesn’t take five years to grow.”
They briefly share a glance. Jesse grins. "Okay, smartass.”
Petra barks a laugh. “What? You asked!”
They laugh together.
The minutes pass easily. Their bodies angle naturally toward each other. Petra doesn’t even think about it after a while. She’s too focused on Jesse her notes, on the sound of Jesse typing, on the way Jesse’s hair is coming loose a little around her ears. She even laughs too long at one of Jesse’s dumb jokes about sunk costs and sunken ships. It’s so silly, so Jesse. Petra can’t help it.
Jesse gives her a long look when she notices the prolonged laughter. The conversation quiets then, but they keep working.
For a little while after, it’s just soft scribbling and typing, and an occasionally whispered comment. But something keeps shifting. The silence isn’t awkward, but it’s not really comfortable either. It’s…charged. Different. Petra glances over eventually, after what feels like five minutes but has probably been an hour. The lighting in the library has dimmed from a shaded yellow to a mellow orange. Petra understands why so many people come to study here. It really is nice.
At some point, her own laptop screen dims, the glow fading into black. Petra starts zoning out, staring at the faint reflection when—
“You okay?” Jesse’s voice cuts through the silence, startling Petra more than she wants to admit. She jolts, hand twitching toward her laptop a bit too fast.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” she answers quickly. The reaction earns a half-scoff, half-laugh from Jesse. She can definitely tell that something's on Petra’s mind. But before Jesse can say anything else, Petra reaches up and closes her laptop completely. The soft click feels louder than she’d have liked.
Jesse doesn’t move. “Are you—?”
“No, no. I, uh—” Petra cuts in, realizing how defensive that sounds, but she pushes through anyway. She doesn’t want Jesse to assume she’s leaving. “I just have a lot on my mind,” is what she goes with. It's vague, but definitely not a lie.
Something flickers across Jesse’s expression then. Curiosity, maybe worry, maybe both. Petra shrugs it off with a crooked smile, pretending it’s not that deep. “Don’t worry. I’m just thinking.”
Jesse pauses, then leans her cheek into her hand. “About?”
Shit. Petra huffs, looking anywhere but directly at Jesse. “Just...uh, everything, I guess. Work, classes… life.” She taps the table with one finger, slow and rhythmic. “And...how this place gets weirdly quiet.”
Jesse’s brow furrows slightly at that. “Weirdly quiet?”
Petra risks looking back at her, holding her gaze for a moment longer than she probably should. Butterflies. “I dunno. Like, how everyone else disappears. And it’s just…us.”
Smooth, Petra. Real smooth.
Jesse blinks, a little thrown. But, slowly, her lips curve into the smallest, softest smile. Petra’s throat goes dry seeing it. She forces a laugh, leaning back in her chair to disguise it. “Or maybe that’s just my coffee intake talking. I dunno,” she dismisses jokingly. Whatever that means.
But Jesse doesn’t seem to want to let that go. She instead shakes her head, amusement flashing in her eyes. “Maybe. Or maybe you’re right.”
At that, Petra finds immediate solace in instinct, chuckling under her breath, because of course she assumes: “You’re just agreeing to make me feel less weird, huh?”
“Maybe,” Jesse answers again, still smiling. Her elbow rests on the table, cheek in her palm. “But I don’t think you’re wrong.”
She literally has not looked away from me once what do I do whatdoIdowhatdoI—
“...About it being quiet?”
Jesse gestures loosely around them. “About it being just us.”
Petra tries to swallow her nerves down for the millionth time, but her attempt feels flimsy. Her blood is tingling, her head is starting to spin. My heart needs to chill the fuck out right now. “Guess we’ve got good timing. It’s nice,” she eventually answers.
“Guess so," is the short answer back.
The silence that follows is heavy again. Every single aspect of this interaction feels like a question neither of them wants to ask out loud. Petra can’t handle it. She continues to tap her fingers against the table, staring at the closed laptop like it might save her. Jesse watches her fingers drum.
“So,” Petra starts, trying to pivot, “speaking of timing—“
“Petra?”
The way Jesse interjects with her name makes her pause quick, like flipping a switch. It’s quiet, but it lands hard. When she looks up, Jesse’s no longer hiding behind her hand. She’s sitting with her whole forearm resting on the table, her gaze level and searching.
Petra’s entire face heats up. “…Yeah?” She manages, and it comes out softer than intended.
“Can I ask you something kind of weird?”
Petra exhales a faint laugh at that. “I feel like that’s never stopped you before.”
Jesse’s smile flickers, nervous now. She averts her gaze. “That night. Outside.”
Double shit. Petra feels her stomach flip. She straightens a little in her chair, running her thumb along the edge of the table. “You mean the part where we almost—”
“Yeah.” Jesse cuts her off, voice small but certain. A little breathless too. “That part.”
Petra swallows, pulse loud in her ears. “What about it?”
“I just…” Jesse hesitates, searching for the right words. “I’ve just been thinking about it. A lot.”
Petra wants to joke. But all that comes out is a simple, “Me too.”
Jesse’s eyes lift, catching Petra’s again.
Say something. “Is it…a good idea to talk about this here?” Petra asks between a weak laugh, nodding toward the rest of the library. It’s a useless attempt at acting casual.
But Jesse doesn’t look at the room. She doesn’t even glance away. Instead, she tilts her head slightly, coloring her next words with something a bit playful. “I mean, it sounds like we don’t really have to talk, do we?”
She’s a little coquettish with the way she says it. The tone hits Petra with embarrassing precision, doing weird things to her stomach. Given this, the redhead barely has time to process that Jesse is suddenly shifting forward in her seat. “What do you—“
She doesn’t even get to finish her sentence as Jesse’s already moving, leaning forward across the small gap between them, hand coming up to rest on Petra’s leg. The touch is gentle, but there’s not a hesitant thing about it. Petra, stunned, leans back little ways and lets out a short breath, which Jesse nearly catches with her lips. Petra's hands land on the sides of her chair. Their sudden proximity is quite literally breathtaking. Petra barely has time to process.
“Petra,” Jesse murmurs, her gaze unwavering, brown eyes locked with green.
Petra can barely think. “Y-Yeah?”
”Can you kiss me?”
Oh.
For a few seconds, Petra merely freezes, a wave of raw warmth crashing over her. She grips the sides of her chair for a moment, blinking, trying to process every single sense: Jesse, her perfume, faint and warm, the heat radiating off her, the honesty in her voice, how soft her lips look. It all hits Petra in one overwhelming rush.
Her next words are hoarse. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Relax. You can do this.
Her body finally catches up to what’s happening, and she makes her best attempt. She lets her hands, her shoulders, her everything relax. She exhales once, steadies herself, and closes her eyes, leaning forward in her seat. She has to angle her head slightly down to meet Jesse, and the sensation of being so close to the girl she'd been crushing on for what feels like years is making her head spin.
Within seconds, Petra closes the last inch between them. The second her lips meet Jesse’s, everything inside her melts.
Jesse lets out a faint sigh against her. Her whole body seems to melt into the moment, into Petra, instantaneously. The taller girl hears, feels, Jesse relax, and it makes the spark of confidence in her gut flare. She presses forward more surely, and the audible reaction Jesse elicits from it feels like more than a reward.
It’s awkward at first, at least to Petra. The angle and the shock, it all piles up. But Jesse’s hand, still resting on her leg, steadies her like it’s nothing, her thumb brushing lightly against her jeans. Petra quickly forgets every reason why she was ever too scared to do this sooner.
It lasts a few seconds. When Jesse eventually pulls back, she doesn’t go far. Her palm lingers, and Petra finds the touch comforting. She lets out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding; she can’t imagine how flustered she looks right now. Their eye contact is loaded. Petra meets Jesse's gaze with as much confidence as she can manage, her her heart practically doing somersaults as she tries.
Jesse is just watching her, fondly yet curiously, as if she’s expecting her to say something. It takes a few moments of silence for Petra’s brain to catch up to it all. Her voice comes out quieter than she means for it to.
“I…uh…”
And then, Jesse suddenly looks down and away, giggling.
Petra snaps out of her daze and finds her voice this time, “Wh— what? What’s so funny?”
Jesse’s laughter is truly contagious. Petra can’t help but smile as the brunette tucks a curly lock behind her ear, glancing up again. Her smile flickers, a little nervous, a little proud. She shrugs one shoulder. “I dunno,” another little laugh, “I think I just like seeing you like this, all nervous. It’s cute.”
Flustered into oblivion, Petra just stares at her. She’s trying to find something smart or somewhat-funny to say. But nothing comes. She just swallows, eyes still locked on Jesse’s. “Really?”
Jesse scoffs. She nudges Petra’s leg. “Yeah. I do.”
Heat blossoming on Petra’s face, she can only let out a hoarse laugh. She’s honestly still processing what the hell just happened. “I...guess I have some work to do, huh?”
“Mm, no. Not really,” Jesse hums in response, straightening up in her seat. Her voice has this level of tenderness to it that Petra is absolutely falling for. “That was perfect.”
Petra scoffs a bit at that. “That was not perfect.”
“It was to me.” Jesse absentmindedly closes her notebook with a soft thump, letting her eyes settle fully, intentionally, on Petra. “Unless you want to do me one better?”
The flirty suggestion makes Petra’s heart flutter. Jesse appears to be joking, but Petra knows better. Better yet, she agrees. She could do better.
Fuck it.
She sits up straighter, letting a shy little smile creep up on her. “I mean…” Petra draws out the word, pretending to consider it, even though her heart is already halfway out the door. “Are you asking?”
Jesse’s resulting laugh sends a jolt through Petra’s body. “Maybe.”
Nerves be damned, Petra doesn’t let herself overthink this time. She shifts her chair forward within moments, a bit awkwardly the legs scraping quietly against the floor. The sound is small, but it feels loud to her. Jesse reacts to the shift instantly; her eyes flick down, then up again, her breath catching just slightly.
Now they’re close again, closer, except this time, Petra’s the one making the move. And she’s definitely taller.
As Jesse adjusts to the new proximity, Petra swallows, “Is…this okay?”
Jesse nods, her deepening blush abundant in the lowlight. “Y-Yeah. Very.”
That answer lights something inside Petra. She doesn’t give herself time to hesitate. She leans down and closes the last inch between them within seconds.
Their lips meet again.
This time, Petra feels everything at once. Jesse’s warm, and her subtle inhale of surprise makes Petra’s mind whirl. The faint taste of her lip balm, the way her fingers tighten gently around the edge of the table like the kiss knocked her a little off balance. Despite that, Petra feels Jesse soften into it immediately, like she’s relieved Petra actually did it. Like she’s been holding her breath since the last.
She gradually brings a hand up to cup Petra’s jaw. Her touch feels beautiful.
Petra kisses Jesse just a little deeper, unable to help herself, being a slow press that’s more emotion than anything. Jesse makes a tiny sound , a soft hum, and that’s it, I’m done for. Warmth rises all the way to Petra’s ears, her chest tightening. She eventually pulls back just an inch, not to end it, just to breathe, her forehead almost brushing Jesse’s. Jesse’s eyes flutter open, glassy with affection and something close to awe.
“You’re a good kisser,” she damn-near whispers.
Petra lets out a tiny, helpless huff of laughter against her mouth. “Yeah?”
Jesse doesn’t bother answering with words. She leans up and kisses Petra again, firmer, impossibly warmer, matching the exact energy Petra gave her before. It startles Petra in the best way. There’s nothing shy about it. Jesse kisses as if she’s already chosen her and is just following through.
Petra hums sweetly, her nerves fizzling away with each second spent like this. She could sit here for hours, kissing this girl, enjoying the quiet, savoring the moment around and between them. But Jesse pulls away after just a second or two, needing air. Petra does too, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.
“...Yeah,” Jesse sighs happily against her lips, her eyes locked with Petra’s. “You’re a great kisser.”
Petra can hardly believe that this finally happened. Her smile definitely looks dumb, but she doesn’t bother hiding it. “I try." She watches Jesse scoot her chair back a bit, taking some space. "You’re…not so bad yourself, y'know.”
“Oh yeah?” Jesse giggles, “Well, thank you.”
Petra’s eyes fall to Jesse’s hands as she slowly begins gathering her things, being her pencil, an unopened bag of chips, her notebook and her laptop. “It's getting late. We should probably get out of here before the workers scope us out,” she’s saying, her blush not changing shade even a fraction. Petra can tell that she’s nervous too, and it makes her feel this strange sense of pride.
Petra hums in acknowledgement with a nod, even if she doesn’t want to leave just yet. “Yeah. You’re right.”
She too begins gathering her things, and within moments, both girls are standing and slinging their bags over their shoulders.
Jesse leads the way as they head down the floor’s main corridor, her steps light. Petra watches the way her pretty curls shift with each stride, how calm she suddenly seems. Petra’s own heartbeat hasn’t settled nearly as much. The hallway is mostly empty, and their voices echo just a little when they speak. “Did you actually get anything done?” Jesse asks as they start down the stairs, teasing as she always does.
Petra huffs good-naturedly. “Not really. You?”
“Oh, definitely not,” Jesse laughs, bumping her shoulder lightly into Petra’s as they round the landing. “But I think that’s partially your fault.”
“Mine?” Petra raises a brow.
“You’re distracting,” Jesse says it casually, like she isn’t aware of exactly what she’s doing.
Petra feels her stomach turn over, heat creeping up her neck. She manages a weak, dry laugh. “You can’t keep saying stuff like that.”
“Why not?” Jesse is quick to answer, feigning innocence. “It’s true.”
Petra has no answer for that besides a full-body fluster she tries (and fails) to hide.
They reach the bottom of the stairwell and step into the dimly lit lobby, heading to the library’s front doors. Jesse walks close enough that their arms brush. When they push through the final set of doors and step outside, the even-colder air hits them immediately. The campus is mostly empty by now, with only a few scattered lights across the area.
Petra adjusts her strap on her shoulder, trying to steady herself. “You uh… headed back to your dorm then?”
Jesse doesn’t answer at first. Instead, Petra finds her looking up at her with something...open. “Actually,” Jesse visibly hesitates, breath barely visible in the cold air. Her gaze averts for just a beat. “Can I… have one more?”
Petra’s heart trips over itself at that, not because the answer is no (definitely not that), but because the question, the asking, sparks something else. A tiny rush of confidence she doesn’t expect. A surety much stronger than she’d had earlier. Jesse isn’t asking because she’s unsure. She’s asking because she wants to be wanted back. She wants Petra to choose it.
So Petra does. She steps closer, their height difference somewhat abundant now that they're standing, and she laughs softly. “You don’t have to ask, but, yeah. Sure.”
Jesse smiles softly, warmly, her relief visible in the way she lets out a little sigh. “Okay. Cool.” The words come out shaky-laughing, like she’s trying to cover up how much she wanted that yes. It hits Petra like another little spark of confidence.
On instinct, she tentatively reaches out and cups Jesse’s cheek gently, thumb brushing over skin warmed from the heat previously found indoors, and also her cute blush. Jesse, her blush deepening, leans into it immediately. “Your hands are soft,” she comments just as Petra leans in.
“Wh– really?” Petra inquires, leaning back a little, a little self-conscious. “I feel like work makes them…not.”
Jesse merely shakes her head, leaning further into Petra’s hand. “No. They’re definitely soft.”
Petra’s heart thunders. Her hand stays where it is because Jesse’s leaning so sweetly into it, and pulling away would feel like a crime. Instead, she leans in a fraction, only humming in acknowledgement.
Jesse lifts her gaze, eyes lifted to Petra’s with this open, searching warmth that knocks the wind out of her. She then tilts her face up, slowly but intentionally, as if asking again without words. And Petra meets her halfway.
The kiss is fond, sweet, and soft. Petra can’t help but sigh with relief, with that sense of finally, even if it's now their third time doing this. Jesse makes a pleasant little sound in response, and Petra feels hands grab onto her jacket. Butterflies flutter in her gut, but nothing is keeping her from letting this kiss last as long as either of them wants it to last.
Jesse tugs her in an inch closer, as if she’s pouring unspoken feelings straight into it. Petra’s lips part slightly in surprise, but she melts into it before she can overthink. And then Jesse deepens the kiss. A slight increase in pressure that goes to show how sure she is of this.
Eventually, they pull back barely. Just enough for the cool nightly air to slip between them and for Petra to actually see her again. Jesse gazes up with her cheeks flushed and her lips a little pinker.
Her smile. Gods, her smile. If the eye contact isn’t sending Petra’s brain into overdrive, that look on Jesse’s face definitely is. And if that isn’t, then maybe it’s the way Jesse suddenly tugs Petra’s jacket again, firmer this time, and pulls her right back down into another kiss, a slight huff of laughter falling past her lips.
Happily, Petra follows Jesse's lead, a little more prepared this time. Her hands instinctively slide to Jesse’s waist for balance, for grounding, for something to hold onto as heat scorches every limb on her body. Jesse is surprisingly strong when she wants something. And apparently, she wants Petra close. Very close. Petra has to angle her head down this time too, but it doesn’t bother her. Not at all.
Petra isn’t sure how long they stand like that. Nor is she sure when they break apart. But when they do, this time, Jesse is a little breathless. She falls back flat on her feet, allowing Petra to straighten, although her hands don’t leave her jacket straight away.
“Thanks,” Jesse half-sighs, half-laughs against Petra's lips, watching her blink herself back to focus. Their proximity is intoxicating, and Petra can’t get over how beautiful Jesse is in this lighting. In any lighting. “Sorry, I just… really wanted that.”
Petra swallows, pulse hammering in her ears at the admission. “...Yeah,” she manages, though her voice is not cooperating with her intent to sound normal. “I kinda noticed.”
Jesse laughs softly at that, embarrassed yet pleased. She eventually lets her hands fall back to her sides, and then they’re dangling from the straps of her bag. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Petra doesn’t hesitate, her hands tucked in her pockets out of habit. The two simply look at one another. Silently, comfortably. “Are you?”
“Very,” Jesse assures, her smile unwavering. “I look forward to more of those.”
Petra laughs at Jesse’s honesty. “Me too.” And she means it, more than she’s ready to say out loud.
The moment hangs between them, but eventually, reality taps them on the shoulder. The cold is creeping in more and more, and the late hour is settling over the mostly-empty campus, with Jesse’s dorm building visible a ways down the path.
Jesse gives Petra one last quick smile before she steps backwards, already starting to turn toward the walkway. Petra feels something tug in her chest, the urge to walk her all the way back, to kiss her again, to make sure she gets inside safely. But she reins herself in. As much as she wants to walk Jesse to her dorm, she knows she should give herself a break, give them both a breath. She also knows that Olivia would have something suspicious to say.
“Goodnight, Petra,” Jesse murmurs, still smiling, still glowing. “I'll see you tomorrow?”
Petra’s lips tilt into something helpless. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”
Jesse nods once, then steps one last time to fully turn. Now all Petra sees is her backpack, decorated with pins and patches, as colorful as Jesse’s personality.
She watches her go for a few seconds too long, but finds the will to turn back to her own dorm with time.
She could definitely get used to this.