Work Text:
A week passed since his phone call with Dick. The days feeling longer than they should have, a new exhaustion setting into every part of Jason's body as he tried to get through his days. His mornings now spent dragging his feet and trying to not fall asleep standing, and long nights filled with harsh remarks and barely contained anger. The anger was bubbling up, just almost making it to the tipping point.
It was becoming noticeable to those who worked under him. Spreading like a wildfire in Crime Alley. The rules he had set in place getting broken more often, criminals thinking they could get away with hiring or selling to the kids, or going behind his back.
He was doing his best to try and keep the order without lashing out and just killing those who upsetted him. He felt like he was slowly drowning since he had talked with Bruce, and Dicks conversation only made him sink farther. He couldn’t focus on anything but the broken memories of his family most days. Jason felt like he was a little kid again, scared and helpless and alone.
It didn’t help when his patrols would overlap with the Bats, when some days they would come into his territory. The glares and pure hatred radiating from Batman and the disappointed and angry looks from Nightwing were enough to put out whatever hope he had for returning. His dad and brother could say what they liked, but they would resent him in the end.
Jason couldn’t even focus on the meeting he had called today. He needed to get his men back in order, so he pulled together his most trusted and they were going over what can be done. It wasn’t exactly an easy task when his men rather sit around and talk. He spent an hour trying to get them all to focus for ten minutes at least to go over what changes Jason had in mind, but they wouldn’t even turn to look at him (something that was more common than he would like).
All this meeting had accomplished was wasting Jason's time and giving his mind enough time to wander into thoughts about his brother. Dick had never been good at staying focused, wanting to just head straight into things without a plan. He remembers the times Nightwing had been called to help them on missions, how his older brother would just fidget and do anything but listen to Batman's plan of action. Those missions always went so wrong but also so right at the same time, a complete shit show, it was something only Dick had ever managed to do.
It didn’t take long for his silence to be noticed. To them Red Hood's orders have always been background noise, tuning out everything but what was actually important (Some details were just unnecessary to pay attention to), but without that background noise the world felt askew. Leaving them thrown off balance and in an odd silence.
“Hey, boss?” One of them spoke directly to Jason, his name was Bill or some shit. The others gave a brief fearful look wondering if the guy was crazy or something. They knew better than to mess with Hood when he was in a mood, and he was clearly in a mood!!
Jason lifted his head, focusing back on the other people in the room. Due to the lack of his helmet his expression was easier to read since all the domino did was cover his eyes. His brows were pulled together and a deep frown set on his face. Despite Jason's eyes being covered by white lens Bill could still feel Jason's gaze boring into his. “Hn.”
“W- well, it’s just you seem distracted. That’s all.” Bill suddenly felt nerves, hands fidgeting together. He didn’t want to anger his boss or anything, but he had a right to be concerned, you know.
None moved or said anything more, waiting to see Hood's reaction. It was tense for what felt like minutes but in reality had to only have been a few seconds before Jason opened his mouth to answer.
“It’s my family.” Jason answered truthfully, shocking everyone. Normally their boss was very closed off about anything personal. Maybe hell has finally frozen over, or they were about to die.
“I miss them.” The worlds slipped out before Jason could decide against it. Not that he regretted it. He needed someone to talk to, and why not a bunch of idiots who couldn’t give two shits? Sure it could ruin his reputation as scary, but it’s not like they would remember this in the next five minutes.
Bill only perked up at his boss's openness, continuing to talk. (Seriously, couldn’t this guy take a hint to shut up?!) “Why don’t you see them? Or call?”
Jason scoffed. If only it was that easy. He had been calling, it only made him feel worse afterwards, but seeing them? That was an immediate no. Bruce would probably throw him in Arkham the minute he knew his son was a killer.
“We’ll start listening! Really, just at least call them.” He just wanted his boss to stop being so moody. At least then their chances of going home with a gunshot wound were lower.
Jason considered the offer. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to call Bruce again anyways, he just didn't think it would be a good idea to. He just needed to get over this bump, forget about his family again. It was so simple before, when he had first come back to Gotham. When the rage clouded so much of his judgement that he didn’t even consider himself part of the family.
Now his views have changed, for better or worse. Worse in his opinion.
He looked back to his men before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Ten minutes and then we are getting back to this meeting and finishing it.”
Jason stood from his chair but only walked a few steps away from the table. Everyone's attention was on him but he honestly couldn’t care at the moment. It wasn’t like he would be saying anything to give away who he was, he was hiding that from everyone.
Much like Dicks number Jason already had Bruce's number memorized. Slowly typing out the number Jason didn’t let himself freeze this time before hitting the call button. He wasn’t giving himself the time to chicken out.
The tension in the room felt suffocating as he waited. Each ring from his phone echoing in his head, taunting him each time it would ring out again. Jason wasn’t sure if Bruce would even pick up being busy with other things then some random number calling.
He picked up on the fifth ring. Jason flinched in surprise when the line clicked. Bruce didn’t wait before saying something, the glare could be heard in his voice.
“Who are you.” It wasn’t even a question but instead a demand. Jason could probably guess that they had flagged his number when he called Dick a week ago, it was a strange call after all. However, disappointment settled itself deep in his chest at the knowledge that he wouldn't be able to call again.
Jason froze. Realizing that he didn't even know what to say to Bruce. He wanted to talk to his dad so much and yet lacked any reasonable responses.
“I’m nobody?” He didn’t mean for it to sound like a question but he felt lost.
“You are to stop contacting my family immediately.”
And wow was that a punch to the gut. The words cutting into all the right places. Bruce just hit all of Jason's doubts in one go, drilling them farther into his mind instead of easing them as he had thought his dad would do.
“What?” His voice was barely a whisper, full of disbelief and shock. Not even sure if Bruce had heard it even with his phone so close to his face.
“I said, stop contacting my family. I have no idea what your intentions are but the next time you call I will have no choice but to take further action.” To track him down. Jason wasn’t a fool, he knew exactly what Bruce, or more so Barbara was capable of, and he knew that Bruce would want to handle it personally, especially if it was about his family. (The family Jason was a part of still. Right.)
Jason didn’t know why he felt laughter bubble up in his chest, not when it felt like his heart was being squeezed until it would pop, but he couldn’t help it. Perhaps it was just the stress and heightened emotions, or maybe he really did find this situation funny but Jason couldn’t help as he hysterically laughed.
He had to pull the phone away from his ear as he tried to calm himself down. Even with a hand covering his mouth some giggles escaped past shaking fingers. He was scaring himself.
It was the kind of uncontrollably loud laugh you get when someone does something that wasn’t really that funny but you can’t help but laugh anyways. It left you breathless and your lungs aching for a breath of air.
If Jason didn’t know any better he would assume someone hit him with Joker gas as he clutched his stomach. His laughter dying down and leaving him with a sore throat and tears gathering in his eyes.
He pulled the phone back to his ear when he was back to breathing normally. “Sorry-” He mumbled out of habit.
“Who are you!?” Bruce's words sent a chill down Jason's spine. His voice is ice cold and low in warning. Jason's laughter had sounded so much like the jokers (it was the only thing he heard while getting beat, it was the last thing he heard before-) that it probably had Bruce on edge.
It still hurts though. To hear Bruce ask again who he was, like he shouldn’t have already figured it out! It wasn’t like Jaosn was trying hard to conceal his voice, or mannerisms.
“You should know-”
“Should I?” Bruce interrupted. “If I should know you, then what is the harm in telling me?” He asked.
Jason scoffed. Of course Bruce wouldn’t know. Jason could probably be standing in front of the man maskless and he still wouldn’t get it! He doesn’t know why he was so surprised. Bruce was quick to replace Jason after his death, maybe he never even cared.
“Unbelievable.” He whispered into the phone, “can't you tell who I am?!” Jason finally snapped. The anger and hurt finally bubbling over and overwhelming Jason quickly. His voice, thick with tears, wavered as he yelled into the phone.
“What?” Bruce asked calmly.
Jason's head was spinning so fast with the onslaught of emotions that hit him so suddenly, everything he had been ignoring now made itself very present. His stomach rolled as he felt sick, a headache growing behind his eyes which stung from unshed tears. Jason wanted nothing more to curl up into a ball and disappear. He wanted to be dead again.
Instead he was talking again, no longer thinking about what he was saying. “Aren’t you supposed to be the world's greatest detective?! And yet you can’t even see what is right in fucking front of you!” His voice grew higher with each word, he was becoming hysterical. Not even caring that his words would give away that he knew who Bruce was.
There was no reply but Jason could imagine what Bruce looked like right now. He was probably sitting at his desk in the manor, or even maybe the bat computer. He would have his chin resting against his fist and his brows furrowed as he tried to work out whatever was going through his head.
The mental image almost made Jason start laughing again but even through his anger he no longer felt any amusement towards the situation. That had been replaced by bitter hate. These calls were supposed to be helping Jason, but it was only farther tearing him apart this time.
“Can’t figure it out, can you?!” Jason wanted to say some smart ass reply, to taunt Bruce in his failure at figuring out the question but he came up blank. All he wanted to do was scream and yell and point out every single last failure of his da- Bruces.
Bruce was talking again but Jason couldn’t focus on his voice, it was like nails to a chalkboard. He wanted to rip off his ears the longer he listened to it, so what did he do instead? Jason threw his phone as hard as he could into the wall beside him.
The phone hit it with a bang as it broke into pieces, the men who had been silently watching flinched at the sudden movement and noise. The movement caught Jason's attention as he whipped around to look at them, his chest falling and rising rapidly in an attempt to focus on his breathing.
“Get out!” He ordered, but no one dared to move so he yelled louder. “Get out!” The yelling only made his throat hurt more. Jason was barely holding back his tears right now, he wasn’t about to let anyone, let alone his guys, watch him have a fucking breakdown.
The silence was deafening, but not unwelcome, despite the feeling of loneliness that wrapped itself around his chest, constricting his lungs even more. Jason was no longer able to keep himself up right, his knees giving out and sending him crumbling painfully to the ground.
Ever since being back there was a small part of Jason that knew he was no longer Bruce's son, that his family wouldn’t want him back. He tried his hardest to not believe it, but now there was no reason for him to not believe it.
Bruce was the world's greatest detective, if he really wanted to know who Jason was he would have already. If Bruce really wanted his son back, he would already have him back. But why would he want Jason when he had Tim Drake, his replacement. It was one of the first things Jason had learned when coming back, Bruce hadn’t even mourned his death for long before picking up another kid and putting him back into that haunting green and red suit.
Despite what Bruce had said over a week ago Jason didn’t believe he missed him at all.
Tears hit the floor underneath Jason. He reached a hand to his face, confusion mixing in with the other emotions he felt as he wondered when he had started crying. It was a pathetic sight really/ He was Red Hood, a crime lord for fucks sake, and here he was crying on the floor of a warehouse.
The emotional pain hurt so badly it felt like someone had just torn Jason's heart from his body. His lung burns and his chest ached, the pain becoming much more than just mental.
Bitterly he thought of how destroyed Bruce would be if he knew what state he had put Jason into. If he knew just how much he had hurt Jason, the pain he continues to put him through.
–
Bruce set his phone down with a sigh. The minute he had received the call he had Barbara try to pinpoint where it was coming from, and Dick was hovering over his shoulder listening to the conversation.
He felt helpless right now. They had nothing on this stranger, but he seemed so sure that Bruce should know who he was. Sure he met a lot of people and it would be impossible to know everyone, but from what he gathered this person knew him both in and out of cowl. That was worrisome in itself.
“I don’t think we will be getting another call any time soon, if ever.” Dick spoke, coming to the same conclusion Bruce had.
“I will have Barbara follow any possible leads we may have, but if this is the last call then I think we should just try to forget it.” Bruce really didn’t want to deal with the stranger. If he knew Bruce was Batman then obviously he wasn’t planning on going public with that information or he could have threatened Bruce by doing so.
Bruce turned back around to the case he had tossed down in favor of answering the call. Until they got further news on the situation he had cases to solve.
Tim lingered around the cave even as Dick left. His gaze set on Bruce's phone, knowing that the call would have been recorded. Maybe Bruce was too blind to see the obvious answers, but Tim wasn’t, and he wouldn’t be telling Bruce.
He just had to do everything in this fucking family aprently.