Chapter Text
Here Shen Yuan was, minding his own business and slurping his ramen, when a robotic voice screeched in his ears about the end times.
Shen Yuan wasn’t a novice to the internet however, and immediately jabbed his CPU’s power button with an elbow—fuck whatever ad that was—and went back straight to slurping. In response, the robotic voice got more and more insistent, until he felt his vision winking out like a cartoon TV screen.
The next time he opened his eyes, before Shen Yuan stood the most beautiful person he had laid his eyes upon. Starry eyes, a soft jaw, and the fluffiest hair that was the tiniest bit disheveled. The boy’s lips were bitten raw, but they were pink underneath all the blood and gore. His face was so dazzling Shen Yuan almost put an arm in front of himself to block the sparkling out. Only then could Shen Yuan take in the rest of this hero’s person: a white and teal xianxia costume ripped open at various strategic points, no boots, and to top the look off, a sword that was more of a stump by this point.
Seeing it on a screen was one thing, but in real life, this ensemble made pity well up in Shen Yuan’s novel reader heart.
Because there was no mistaking it; this was none other than the protagonist of the trashy monster-fighting, harem-collecting stallion novel Proud Immortal Demon Way: Luo Binghe. And the way he was looking at Shen Yuan didn’t bode well for him.
Shen Yuan had decided from the beginning if he were to transmigrate, he would never flail around like those idiot isekai novel protagonists. Oh no, look at me, I’m in armor and the strangest robe known to man! This must be a dream! Let me do whatever I’ve wanted to do since I was a little kid and touch that lady’s boob—NO! Shen Yuan wasn’t that kind of backwards incel. 1. That was immoral and dumb. 2. It was unsatisfying from a narrative standpoint and disgustingly cliche.
Hence, while what Shen Yuan wanted to do was start giving Luo Binghe directions to Xin Mo immediately, he held his tongue for
a) narrative immersion
b) doubt whether Luo Binghe would even believe him and
c) what if he had transmigrated into an abyssal monster wife whom Luo Binghe was waiting to attack (What? It was completely possible. A monster wife was the only other sentient humanoid character Shen Yuan could recall from the abyss off the top of his head other than the regular monsters) etc, etc.
Warily, Luo Binghe took a step forward. On autopilot, Shen Yuan took one backward to maintain the distance between them. Ah young man, however skimpy that sword may look, Shen Yuan was a humble semi-otaku with no muscle mass. He wouldn’t be able to counter it!
Or that’s what Shen Yuan intended to do. When he tried to move them, all he got was dubious input from his legs, like he was wading through water. His calves felt heavy, like someone had chained him to a 100kg weight. In his astonishment, Shen Yuan made the mistake of looking down.
He had no legs.
“What may this humble one address… senior as?” Luo Binghe was saying from where he stood, one hand still resting on his sword. The protagonist’s first dialogue option, and Shen Yuan couldn’t even give it his full attention because he was manfully resisting the urge to scream.
His legs! Where were his legs?!
“Lord Luo,” Shen Yuan managed to keep the stutter out of his voice. He tried to poke around for a system of any sorts and found nothing. What shitty transmigration experience was this?! Well, if he wasn’t bound to anything, this only meant he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, right? “Calling this on a senior isn’t necessary. This one is….” Shen Yuan wracked his brains for something that lined up with his creepy form, “...a corporal… dream—”
On more careful inspection, it was revealed that he did have legs; they were dissolved into a fine layer of mist that twirled and danced over a fun little lamp Shen Yuan recognized immediately as the one from the new Aladdin movie.
AIRPLANE YOU HACK , roared Shen Yuan. So you had a rip-off artifact like THIS hanging around in your trash novel?!
“--genie?” Shen Yuan finished.
“A genie?” Luo Binghe tilted his head in confusion, taken aback.
Cute! Too cute!! This wasn’t the completely blackened protagonist of PIDW yet; this was Luo Binghe, young disciple of Qing Jing, who had entered the abyss for only two years at most. Shen Yuan recalled that it was in his third year that he stumbled across Madam Meiyin and her group’s— cough, cough— services in the abyss and found sparkling new clothes amidst them, along with many buffs in the ehem, ehem, department.
“Ehem yes,” said Shen Yuan clearing his throat. Now that he had said it, he should be committing to the role. "That’s me, senior genie. Our species are very rare, and come from the—er—West. I was separated from the rest of my kind and bound to this lamp. If young master pleases, as a gift for releasing me, he can ask this one to grant three of his wishes—and I will fulfill them if they are within my capacity.”
“I… wishes?” echoed Luo Binghe. “What would Senior Genie have to gain from such a thing?”
Uh oh, that was the protagonist’s suspicious voice. Honestly, Binghe, Shen Yuan was just making it up as he went! He was greatly assuming things here, ie, THE THREE WISHES segment, but if it worked out for every other genie story then why not here?
In a corner of his brain, Shen Yuan took stock of the landscape. It was dry, prickly, and absolutely chilling. He had to privately admit that he always imagined the abyss to be boiling hot, and one of the few times Airplane had gone in depth about the Endless Abyss was the oppressive heat and lava rivers north of where Binghe had landed. The cold was surprising.
Shen Yuan suddenly got an ominous feeling. He put a probing hand on his midsection.
BARE!!!
As a transmigration professional (at least in theory), Shen Yuan did not screech at this discovery. Instead, his hand traveled up from his navel to his chest—here, he found solid metal, some kind of jewellery, cold to touch— and then to his neck, where there were more necklaces piled on top of each other.
He had forgotten that he could be perceived for a moment, and when he looked back at the protagonist, he was gaping at Shen Yuan like he was the eighth wonder of the world.
Now Shen Yuan had a new perspective on Luo Binghe’s wariness. Binghe!! Of course you wouldn’t trust a half naked old man feeling himself up right in front of you!
Even as he cried bitter tears in his heart, Shen Yuan soldiered on.
“I don’t want for anything,” lied Shen Yuan. He’d really appreciate a back button, for example. “What could this one possibly want from the world bound to this lamp? Your world, on the other hand, Lord Luo is much more vast and filled with opportunities. Just assisting you is enough.”
Assist you and then take stock of my situation after you're less stab-happy. Even in this genie form, Shen Yuan’s mind was still that of a mortal, and Zheng Yang—while blunted down to nothing—was still sharp enough to pierce through the eye of a Eight-Legged Purple Mandible Horse.
“That again—Lord Luo,” Luo Binghe mumbled to himself. Then louder, “Senior Genie, this one is no one’s lord. What other misconceptions do you have about me?”
“Oh, it’s just a title, young master,” said Shen Yuan. “I can see you're meant for greatness anyway, so a few stray lords in your direction will bring you no harm.”
“But why? ” Luo Binghe stressed.
This wasn’t how genie stories were supposed to go!
“Lord Luo, you’re making things very difficult for me. Why did you rub my lamp?” Shen Yuan was hazarding a guess there— but bingo! Luo Binghe’s face spasmed in confirmation–”I have to follow the ritual inscribed on this lamp! Please give me your wishes so I can go back to spending my days alone in the darkness!”
Shen Yuan was perhaps laying it on a little too thick there. Luo Binghe, on the other hand, looked less troubled.
“Is Senior Genie… A powerful demon trapped under an array?”
“You could say that,” hummed Shen Yuan.
Here was Shen Yuan’s plan: If this was not a dream but a transmigration scenario, Shen Yuan didn’t plan to sit around twiddling his thumbs like an idiot. He’d get Luo Binghe out of the abyss with one of these wishes, and then he'd use the other for Luo Binghe’s benefit. Then , of course, he’d put on a show about being stuck in the lamp forever, and Luo Binghe, protagonist-wired to free anything that’s stuck, would surely use the third wish on Shen Yuan’s freedom. There was no reason for the semi-charred version to do anything nefarious or want too much.
“Alright…” Luo Binghe agreed, swallowing.
“Now then, Lord Luo,” said Shen Yuan. Drawing up his shoulders, he waved his hands around in hopes of dramatics. He wasn’t disappointed. A cloud of green smoke followed his movements and dissipated where his still wrist met the air. Internally Shen Yuan whooped in joy. “What is your first wish?”
“Can Senior Genie get this one out of the abyss?” Luo Binghe’s voice cracked in the middle of his wish. Shen Yuan felt a pang of fondness for this teenage protagonist; good things had rarely happened to him, and his continued streak of wins was far off in the future, and yet he was being brave about it all. How endea—
[WARNING! WARNING! USER V002 IS UNDER A TEMPORARY CONTRACT! DEVIATION TO STORYLINE WILL RESULT IN SYSTEM INSTANCE UW;6; (TERMINATION OF ACCOUNT)]
WTFFFF!!!!
Shen Yuan sneezed out a burst of placid pink smoke right in Luo Binghe’s face.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? A SYSTEM??
A window popped into the air before his eyes, its cheery neon blue interface grating and futuristic for the setting. In a covert attempt to tap all its buttons, Shen Yuan pretended to be warding off the smoke that was getting all up in his eye. The same robotic voice that had warned him of the end times a mere hour ago now chimed in his ear.
Bastard! Where were you when I needed your help?! Shen Yuan cursed.
[The system didn’t see any need to interfere in User v002’s private life! The System had full belief in the user's ability to come up with a believable backstory in accordance with the plotline of Proud Immortal Demon Way!]
So you didn’t want to think up extra backstory sequences, and you left it to me?! You shitty AI, I’ll end you! Fuck your mother! And what the hell do you mean I can’t go against the Endless Abyss Plotline?! What can I do then? What do you mean I’m in temporary mode?!
[User’s storyline edits are free of the system’s influence! Go forth, user! The system will collect you when it’s time! Hope you can turn Proud Immortal Demon Way into a first-rate clas—]
GET TO THE POINT! The protagonist is looking at me with shining eyes here — and they were turning wounded, fuck! What do I say!?
[The System trust’s user’s ability to—]
In a fit of rage, Shen Yuan rammed his index finger into the [x] button.
[Rate the System experience from–]
ZERO STARS! ZERO!
[Sorry User, The SYSTEM only processes whole number values!]
ONE STAR THEN! COME BACK YOU SHITTY—
Shen Yuan didn’t have more time to dwell on the useless piece of tech, because Luo Binghe’s wounded eyes were hardening by the minute. If he pissed off the protagonist now he’d get bronze-bull tortured in this lamp later! Suppressing a shiver, Shen Yuan fumbled around for an explanation.
“Oh Lord Luo,” he said feigning great sadness in his voice. “This one’s power is limited, and hence cannot transport you across dimensions. But! There is another way! There is a sword—”
And he waited for the system to chime in and reprimand him for giving hints away, but no obnoxiously blue screen hit him.
“-that is rumored to slash portals into any dimensions it so wishes. Would Lord Luo like this one to take him there?”
Shen Yuan expected easy acquiescence. After all, he was practically doing a quest giving NPC’s job. Contrary to his expectations, Luo Binghe steeled his face and refused.
“No,” he said.
“No?” echoed Shen Yuan. “But—”
“No.” Luo Binghe said again, firmly.
But why? Shen Yuan wanted to say, but that would sound suspiciously like what the protagonist said a few minutes ago, and he wasn’t going to copy a teenager.
Despite his thin face, Shen Yuan wheedled and whined. He talked about riches (no system notif), the sword (no system notif), women for such a handsome young man (No system notifs), hacks on how to gut monsters (no system notif), and a promise to reach the sword once again. Whatever he said, Luo Binghe obstinately dug his heels and refused each one.
“But why? ” said Shen Yuan.
“Because this is too good to be true. This one’s learned his lesson,” said Luo Binghe. There was a hint of self-abasement in there. “Getting one’s arm chopped off once for comforting a maiden promising a route out of here once was enough. Senior Genie clearly wants to lead this one somewhere, and it’s in poor taste to fall for one trap twice.”
Oh. Ohhh. Luo Binghe thought he was an obstacle in the form of a quest-giving NPC. This was why that bastard system was silent—it knew fully well Luo Binghe wouldn’t take the offer. Someone like Luo Binghe who had only known hardship would of course not buy into a genie clause like that without reading the terms and conditions. And Shen Yuan hadn’t even put forward terms or conditions. It was too easy.
And now it was far too late to lay down any conditions he had either; his sudden 180 from whatever you want to Please free me, young master! In a pinch would only kick Luo Binghe’s suspicion into overdrive.
Quite frankly, he was at a dead end.
System , poked Shen Yuan. Is there any way to convince the protagonist?
[The system believes in—]
CAN IT. Okay. Fine. Don’t tell me. Can you at least explain where I’m going with this temporary transmigration bullshit? If the protagonist doesn’t take me up on my offer what happens to me? Do I go back into the lamp?
[User will return to dimensional space ;u;63 created via this system instance, and be returned to Home Base. User’s body is in the brink of life and death; and only the system’s timely intervention saved it from complete deterioration. Since user v002’s body is in stasis, it will continue to be so until User’s soul returns to Home Base. No additional damage will ensue as long as plotlines are completed adequately.]
So you mean I just go back? Whether Luo Binghe takes me up on this or not, I just get to see my favorite character and go back just like that? Now you’re giving out deals that are too good to be true.
[As long as the abyss plotline progresses smoothly, there is no issue. Rate the—]
Shen Yuan clicked on the [x] button mercilessly once again.
When he looked down, Luo Binghe was staring at him emitting sparks and smoke dubiously, with his brows knitted together.
“You silly boy,” Shen Yuan found himself saying. “If you have an opportunity, why would you squander it, ah? When someone is asking you to use them, then do it! How can it be worse than your current condition! You stubborn, stubborn boy!”
Luo Binghe only dug his feet into the ground, eyes flitting from Shen Yuan’s incensed face to his hands, as if waiting for a blow.
Helpless, Shen Yuan stared back.
There was no loss for him either way but…
When he looked down, Luo Binghe’s reddened lips were bleeding. He had probably peeled a scab off earlier because of all the excitement. The rest of his outfit was still the filthy Qing Jing disciple uniform, and he was clearly favoring one leg over the other.
Shen Yuan made a quick decision. If it didn’t work, then it was whatever. No loss for him either way.
He slapped his palms together as if in prayer, and chanted quickly in a hushed voice; “May Luo Binghe’s charm and skill be unparalleled in all of the three realms. May he acquire the most fearsome sword. May only good things await him.”
He then clapped thrice. This was against no system stipulation and no stupid rules. This was all Shen Yuan and his dodgy genie powers.
[PROTAGONIST CHARM +INFINITY BUFF. LUCK +INFINITY BUFF. SWORD ACQUIRED +1 (XIN MO, TO BE COLLECTED AFTER QUEST). PROTAGONIST HALO UNLOCKED!]
The last thing Shen Yuan saw as he swirled out of existence was Luo Binghe’s widened eyes, blood red and hopeful.