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You sit in the common room of a certain METEOR hurtling through paradox space. You find yourself slumping down on the couch positioned in the area, staring at the BLANK TV. There isn't anything to watch. You’ve probably watched everything available here like TEN TIMES OVER on this seemingly NEVER ENDING trip. You let out a DREARY sigh, and are about to stand up to go find something else to do when your vision is suddenly attacked by a wave of strange colours and blurring scenery when you find yourself falling ass backwards onto the ground of a DREAM BUBBLE.
You look around at the scenery you’ll be having to get used to, at least for the next little bit. You quickly recognize your surroundings as a DREAM MANIFESTATION of KARKAT’S PLANET, LOPAH. You two have ended up in places similar to his land before, due to the MEMORY-LIKE nature of the bubbles when it comes to the PHYSICAL REALITY of them.
You bumble around aimlessly like an idiot, until you suddenly notice a very familiar figure in front of you.
( DAVE ): sup man
DAVE: sup
( DAVE ): whats hangin with you anyways
You stand there awkwardly, because honestly, meeting your alternate selves has always been WEIRD. You always have this thought lingering in the back of your head that one of the DREAM GHOSTS here might be one of the Daves you DOOMED before your three year meteor escapade began. Luckily for you, you can’t imagine yourself, let alone 13 year old you being anything but COMPLETELY 100% TOTALLY CHILL about the entire situation. Hopefully.
Externally, anyway. If YOU were the GHOST, you’d absolutely hold just a little bit of resentment, even if you would never act upon it.
You both AWKWARDLY GAZE at each other for a moment, then you join your YOUNGER GHOST CLONE in sitting at the edge of some rocky terrain in front of you. You watch as the crimson seas flow freely throughout the bubble below as you remember you haven't answered DEAD GHOST DAVE’S question yet.
DAVE: uhhh not too much right now just passing through a dream bubble apparently
( DAVE ): yeah figures
DAVE: man what do you guys even do for fun in these anyways
DAVE: i feel like most of the times im in these shitty memories i just wander around aimlessly until i phase back into reality
DAVE: actually maybe i shouldnt be accusatory when it comes to entertainment around these parts all i do all day is write my raps and watch shitty dane cook romcoms
DAVE: and then again its hard to come up with sick fires all of the time when you have 3 years of consistently doing absolute jack dick so a lot of the time im just drawing blanks
( DAVE ): man you let yourself go why are you watching dane cook romcoms
( DAVE ): like some suburban soccer mom whos husband keeps mysteriously going on business trips and all she has left to cope is to watch love actually to make up for the absence of love in her life
( DAVE ): or whatever other romcoms exist obviously im not the guy to look for if you want to know about those
DAVE: look man i dont think theyre actually good but theres some ironic enjoyment to be found
DAVE: also watching them with karkat makes them consistently more hilarious because of how angry he gets whenever i make fun of them
( DAVE ): oh yea karkat ive seen that guy around ive talked to him
( DAVE ): how can you stand being around that douchebag hes absolutely grating to be around
( DAVE ): he literally never shuts the fuck up and all he does is complain just like those stupid memos he forced us into
( DAVE ): that horseshit is even more obnoxious in person
( DAVE ): watching any piece of cinema with him sounds like a nightmare are your options really that slim
DAVE: nah not at all
DAVE: i mean yeah at first honestly we just started hanging out because terezi kind of turned the other way on both of us for vriska then started spending all her time with her
DAVE: and rose and kanaya both paired off most of the time aswell so it was just the two of us
DAVE: and the mayor dude you have to meet the mayor
( DAVE ): man whos the mayor and whats he the mayor of
DAVE: hes the mayor of can town we should give you a tour sometime
DAVE: but honestly once we both got over the terezi thing he was actually pretty fun to hang out with
DAVE: ill watch a shitty romcom with karkat any day
DAVE: besides he really likes them anyways and he has like hundreds of them saved
DAVE: dude is a connoisseur haha
DAVE: probably one of the best bros youll find maybe you should try talking to him again if you see him
You refrain from mentioning the level on how CLOSE you and Karkat have gotten. Referring to him as just your BRO is definitely an understatement to how your relationship has developed, but you really don’t want to get into that with this guy. Not even YOU can fully talk about it with the troll himself without difficulty.
( DAVE ): what about john
( DAVE ): i thought HE was our best bro
DAVE: uhhh i mean
( DAVE ): did you really just forget about him for some random troll guy as soon as you hopped on that meteor
DAVE: what no
DAVE: look i think youre over exaggerating this i can have more than one bro
DAVE: me being best bros with karkat doesnt like
DAVE: erase me and johns friendship
DAVE: even if i havent seen him in almost like 3 years at this point
DAVE: man
DAVE: i miss john
( DAVE ):
( DAVE ): me too
His DEFENSIVE TONE at the insistence Karkat is of your “Best Bro” tier takes you aback. Maybe he's been thinking about HIS VERSION of John. What else would a DREAM ghost even have to do besides think or get harassed by a bunch of ANNOYING DEAD TROLLS like Karkat’s RED SWEATERED ANCESTOR. After being reminded of John, you think back to BEFORE THE GAME, and how you talked to all of your friends in your apartment in TEXAS. One part of you almost misses how simple things were, even if you know that wasn't exactly true. If you actually saw your Bro again you don’t know what you’d do.
You suddenly feel UNCOMFORTABLE thinking about your Bro. This has been happening more and more lately. You hope your next dream bubble isn't any sort of memory of your old apartment.
DAVE: do you miss home
( DAVE ): what
( DAVE ): i mean yeah of course i miss home and my bro
Honestly, you didn’t mean to ask him that out loud. But… you’re almost curious to see what he has to say. You haven't missed home genuinely in a really long time, and the thought of that almost upsets you.
This DREAM GHOST CLONE looks no more than 13, he probably died in some way during your session. You aren’t going to ask for the details, and you don’t presume he’ll be telling either. You want to know what 13-YEAR-OLD DAVE thinks about his life back in TEXAS with BRO.
( DAVE ): i mean life there was always a bit different from other kids i know john or rose werent getting trained by the biggest badass in houston
( DAVE ): not like they wouldve been able to handle it like me anyways
( DAVE ): so yeah
DAVE:
DAVE: is that how you actually feel
( DAVE ): what??
( DAVE ): yes??
( DAVE ): is that not how you feel
DAVE: look its just
DAVE: ugh can we drop this i regret asking
( DAVE ): youre the one who brought this up what do you mean
( DAVE ): bro was the shit
REGRET immediately washes over you. But you kind of can’t back out of this. Unless the dream bubble miraculously finishes passing through.
DEAD GHOST DAVE looks at you with CONTEMPT, waiting for you to go on. You hate every moment that lead up to this.
DAVE: like
DAVE: puppets are fucking terrifying dude
For one of the first times in your life, you're STRUGGLING to find words to say. Well. You’re good at talking. Getting to the point is a different story, though. You feel UNREST rising in your chest. Of course all you're bringing up right now is the copious amounts of PUPPET ASS you were exposed to.
( DAVE ): is that seriously all you have to say im confused
( DAVE ): look fine considering youre also me maybe we can admit the puppets werent as cool as we pretended they were
( DAVE ): but sometimes sacrifices have to be made that doesn’t make or break the fact bro was awesome what the fuck is your issue
DAVE: fuck
DAVE: just like
DAVE: do you remember when we learned what a fridge was actually for
DAVE: dont you think that was a just a LITTLE fucked up
( DAVE ): dude bro always did things his own way
( DAVE ): thats why he was the coolest
Hearing YOUNGER DAVE talk about Bro like this is genuinely upsetting you all of the sudden. Is this how you actually felt?
DAVE: maybe he wasnt the coolest
DAVE: maybe he was just a complete douchebag who shouldnt have been around a kid
DAVE: do you actually like fighting? do you really want to go back to training with bro and getting ambushed all of the time
DAVE: like ive just thought about this alot lately and i realized being monitored by some deranged eccentric douchebag who never showed any emotions like one of his goddamn creepy ass PUPPETS was nerve wracking
DAVE: i cant believe i thought like this
DAVE: i
GHOST DAVE suddenly stands up from the spot you two were sitting and looks down on you with what you can only assume is pure SHOCK, considering you're both still rocking the same STILLER SHADES.
( DAVE ): dude what the fuck are you talking about
( DAVE ): who the fuck told you to think like that
( DAVE ): what the fuck happened to you
( DAVE ): who are YOU to look down on bro he was the one who trained us for the game anyways
DAVE: did he REALLY have to do that though
DAVE: just look at john or rose those two had relatively normal lives and guess what!!
DAVE: they did just fine in the game we all lived
DAVE: fuck man like can you think of a moment you actually felt RELAXED in that apartment
( DAVE ): dude being on that meteor made you soft i dont understand how you
( DAVE ): i
( DAVE ): turned out like this
( DAVE ): was it that karkat douchebag it probably was considering he made you watch those pansy ass romcoms what else did he make you do
DAVE: leave him out of this dipshit what are you even talking about why are you so mad
( DAVE ): woah there sounds like youre getting defensive dave
( DAVE ): have something to say on that?
You start to feel GENUINELY distressed listening to this ACCUSATORY BANTER from 13-YEAR-OLD YOU when all of the sudden you hear your name being called from a distance. You don’t know what you would’ve said to OTHER DAVE because you’re both interrupted by KARKAT stomping towards you in classic Karkat fashion. You’ve never been more relieved to see him in your entire life.
KARKAT: DAVE?
KARKAT: DAVE!
KARKAT: UGH. IT’S LIKE BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE IN THIS ASININE AMALGAMATION OF MY PLANET FOR SWEEPS! THESE DREAM BUBBLES SEEM TO GET MORE AND MORE ELABORATE AS SOON AS YOU'RE TIRED OF TREKKING THROUGH THEM BY YOUR LONESOME!
KARKAT: OH
He glances at you, then at GHOST DAVE, seemingly understanding you were in some sort of conversation when he looks YOUNGER GHOST DAVE up and down.
KARKAT: THERE’S ANOTHER DAVE HERE?
KARKAT: UHH
KARKAT: WHAT’S UP MAN.
He walks over to your side AWKWARDLY, and just sort of stands there behind you. Meeting other dream ghost selves will never not be weird, even if you've already done it a million times at this point.
You don’t turn around to look at KARKAT or GHOST DAVE, you just sit there and stare at the cherry red waves gushing throughout the entirety of the memories' rocky topography. Again. You really want this to be over. You wonder what DEAD GHOST DAVE is about to say now that the topic of conversation HIMSELF has entered the picture.
To your surprise, OTHER DAVE just furrows his eyebrows at both of you and presumably GLARES, then sits back down on the edge. Though he’s a lot further away from you than before. Karkat absolutely notices the HORRIFICALLY AWKWARD ENERGY, and leans over to whisper in your ear.
KARKAT: (WHAT IN THE TAINTCHAFING FUCK IS THIS GUYS DEAL?)
DAVE: dude you cant whisper for shit he can absolutely hear that
DAVE: also just
DAVE: dont worry about it alright we can talk later
( DAVE ): yeah wouldnt want me to interrupt whatever this is right
( DAVE ): who even is this guy
DAVE: goddamnit dude just look
KARKAT: UHHH???
DAVE: just maybe you should really sit down and think about things
DAVE: and how they really made us feel
( DAVE ): no fuck you dude
( DAVE ): i think its you who should sit down and think about things actually
( DAVE ): bro made sure every day we were as prepared for the game as we could be
( DAVE ): he was the coolest motherfucker on the planet and we both know that what made you forget?
You sit there and STARE at him for a moment, struggling to find the right words for this. You feel Karkat lean up a bit and put one of his hands on your shoulder as he gives you a GENUINELY concerned look. Fuck. You find the gesture touching, you really do, but you REALLY don’t want to acknowledge this gesture in front of OTHER DAVE. He’s probably going to make some inclinations you've been fighting with yourself AUDIBLE that you also really don’t want to think about.
KARKAT: DAVE…
( DAVE ): dude why are you touching him like that lay off
( DAVE ): actually why are you LETTING him do that
( DAVE ): holy shit i was kidding before what the fuck are you even doing with this guy on that meteor anyways
DAVE: dude why the fuck are you so mad i have other friends literally how does this even effect you
DAVE: you said it yourself you dont talk to other karkats why does it matter
( DAVE ): i dont know maybe its just weird to see you let this weird alien guy get all up close and personal fo-
KARKAT: MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST CAN IT, YOU RAGING DOUCHE!
OTHER DAVE looks taken aback by Karkats immediate ABRASIVENESS.
DAVE: dude karkat chill
KARKAT: NO, DAVE! I WON'T JUST “CHILL” WHILE I WATCH ANOTHER CASE OF FLAGRANT SELF ABUSE IN THE FORM OF AN ALTERNATE SELF TAKE PLACE!
KARKAT: WHAT EVEN IS THIS BULGELICKERS ISSUE? WHY ARE YOU PUTTING UP WITH THIS? I THOUGHT BLATANT NEUROTIC ARGUMENTS WITH OTHER VERSIONS YOURSELF WAS *MY* THING!
KARKAT: AND HEY! GHOST DAVE! HOW ABOUT YOU STOP BEING ABSOLUTELY *INSUFFERABLE* FOR ABOUT TWO GODDAMN SECONDS AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!
DAVE: karkat look you dont get it dont be so hard on him
( DAVE ): oh my GOD
( DAVE ): i thought being older would somehow make me smarter thats what literally everyone says but youre just a complete fuckin lameass dude
( DAVE ): why are you letting this guy come to your defence like youre some helpless maiden in a tower
Getting called a LAMEASS by another version of yourself kind of stings, especially since you’ve been perpetually feeling like that more and more. Regardless, GHOST DAVE glances over at Karkat and SCOFFS.
( DAVE ): how badly are you into him anyways this is just sad
( DAVE ): you realize hes straight right go find some other guy to fawn over
( DAVE ): hes probably just going to drop any sort of relations you have as soon as he can get away from you i know im sure not into weird ass aliens
( DAVE ): stop leading him on why do you even want a guy like this around in the first place the fucking red rivers in this bubble may as well be the blood from my ears from how annoying karkat is to listen to
( DAVE ): can you stop yelling for like two goddamn seconds thanks
DAVE: can you shut the fuck up you dont even know what youre talking about you dont know him at all
DAVE: dude karkat was i like this when we first met what the actual fuck
KARKAT: IS THAT REALLY THE ISSUE HERE? WHO CARES! WHO CARES IF YOU WERE INSUFFERABLE AT 6 SWEEPS, THAT’S *CLEARLY* NOT WHAT WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW!!
( DAVE ): man you guys are a bunch of condescending assholes why am i even spending my time here
DAVE: fuck you dude i dont even care what you have to say anymore
DAVE: im just gonna
You stand up from the ledge your legs were dangling off of, and grab KARKATS HAND to make an exit from GHOST DAVE'S VICINITY. You really don’t want to listen to any more of this. Luckily, before you two make it very far, you phase back into reality in the COMMON ROOM of the meteor. It seems everyone else was off SOMEPLACE ELSE, because it is just you and Karkat who are standing there in the DIM lights.
You take in the familiar surroundings, and collapse on the couch behind you.
DAVE: jesus christ
DAVE: ok uh
DAVE: sorry
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU APOLOGIZING FOR?
DAVE: for you having to see that
KARKAT: DAVE.
DAVE: ugh look its nothing man dont give me that look
DAVE: i just took some thoughts out on him he probably had no business hearing from some holier than thou 16-year-old version of himself
DAVE: i shouldve just kept quiet he probably had his own issues he was thinking about i should know after all
DAVE: just
DAVE: do you ever think about your life before the game
KARKAT: ARE YOU-
DAVE: okay dont answer that thats a stupid question
DAVE: but its just ive been kinda thinking about life on the meteor here
DAVE: especially since itll be over soon and well arrive at the next session but
DAVE: being with you rose and terezi and everyone
DAVE: and thinking about how that compares to my old life back in houston
DAVE: and i kind of realized
DAVE: how happy ive been here?
DAVE: just chilling with you watching shitty adam sandler movies or beta reading roses pretentious ass wizard fics for her
DAVE: dont tell her i called them that actually i dont want to test out my god tier immortality any time soon alright
DAVE: but idk
DAVE: i guess ive just been thinking about my bro thats all
DAVE: and how ill have to meet teenage him at the new session
DAVE: and honestly
DAVE: im scared to meet him
DAVE: sorry its not like ive really talked about this before with you its not like you would really get it
KARKAT: OKAY, LOOK.
KARKAT: I WON'T PRETEND TO PARTICULARLY UNDERSTAND THE INTRICACIES OF YOUR HUMAN FAMILIAL DYNAMICS, AS MUCH AS I'VE OBSERVED THEM IN THE *COUNTLESS* MOVIES AND EARTH MEDIA I'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO ON THIS HURTLING SPACE ROCK.
KARKAT: BUT I DON’T LIKE YOU USING THE EXCUSE OF ME “NOT GETTING IT” WHEN WE’VE BEEN HANGING OUT AFTER ALL THIS TIME!
KARKAT: YOU REALIZE YOU CAN TALK TO ME IF SOMETHING'S BOTHERING YOU, RIGHT?
KARKAT: I DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF YOU JUST MAKING YOURSELF MISERABLE WITH A BUNCH OF THINKPAN-WARPING TRAUMA YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN’T TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT!
You SIGH as you turn to look at him, he's looking at you in a way that's so concerned and genuine, it almost makes your face heat up a little bit. You REALLY feel like you don’t deserve him sometimes.
DAVE: ugh its not like i enjoy thinking about it either
DAVE: but i just get mad at myself almost
DAVE: for thinking the things that i told the other me
DAVE: maybe because i tried so long to pretend that it wasnt true
DAVE: hell probably even like a year ago if another dave came up to me with that bullshit id get mad too
DAVE: maybe because i knew he had a point
KARKAT: IT’S NOT BULLSHIT IF THAT'S HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL, YOU IGNORAMUS! YOU THINK YOU’RE JUST GOING TO ALWAYS THINK THE SAME AS YOUR 6-SWEEP-OLD *DOUCHEBAG* SELF? IT MAKES ME WANT TO GET INCINERATED BY YOUR PLANETS LAVA THINKING ABOUT 6-SWEEP-OLD KARKAT AND *HIS* BULLSHIT TOO!
KARKAT: UGH, THERE I GO TALKING ABOUT ME! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE *YOUR* DAY FOR DEALING WITH THE IDIOTIC, BULGELICKER SHENANIGANS OF YOUR MORONIC PAST SELF!
DAVE: i really stole your brand didnt i
DAVE: im coming after that first then ill take over your beloved memo rants
KARKAT: DON’T EVEN REMIND ME OF PAST ME’S BEHAVIOUR WITH THE MEMOS. HE SHOULD’VE HAD EVERY SINGLE MEMO APPOINTED RIGHT TAKEN AWAY BY EVERYONE IN HIS VICINITY.
DAVE: haha no those memos are the shit past you is hilarious
KARKAT: HILARIOUSLY INCOMPETENT!
You both start grinning.
DAVE: soon enough ill be stealing your shouty cadence too along with the memos watch out
KARKAT: I GUESS IF YOU’RE TRYING TO MODEL YOUR NEW LIFE AFTER ME, YOU’LL HAVE TO RELINQUISH THE SHADES, RIGHT? THERE WOULD HAVE TO BE THE THREAT OF A THOUSAND GREEN SUNS BEFORE I WOULD EVEN *CONSIDER* WEARING SUCH A DISPLAY OF DOUCHEBAGGERY ON MY FACE.
DAVE: haha okay you win this one
You both sit there in silence, the moment washing away and being left in more awkward silence. You can still feel his gaze on you.
You shift awkwardly towards him on the couch, and lay your head down on his SHOULDER. He wraps one of his arms around you as both of you bask in the silence for a moment.
DAVE: i just want to let you know
DAVE: that shit he said about me just up and leaving you after all of this isnt true
DAVE: it isnt true in the slightest
DAVE: i hope you dont think that okay?
KARKAT: IT’S… IT’S FINE DAVE. I’VE HEARD COUNTLESS PAST ME’S IN DREAM BUBBLES AND MEMOS ALIKE SAY THE MOST ASININE SHIT, MOST LIKELY OUT OF PURE IGNORANCE AND NO KNOWLEDGE OF FUTURE EVENTS.
KARKAT: LIKE YOU SAID…
KARKAT: HE WAS PROBABLY JUST UPSET ABOUT OTHER THINGS.
He adjusts his full-arm grip on you a little bit tighter.
DAVE: but yea about all this and the stuff he said maybe one day ill tell you more about it
DAVE: but
...
DAVE: can we just stay like this for now?