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“I have prepared a feast.”
Jean tilted his head ever so slightly to the side as he looked down at the now empty picnic basket that was lying on its side, forgotten in lieu of the contents that were now spilled across the faded Trojans blanket.
It was a sunny, summer San Diego afternoon and the boys had driven a couple of hours south to visit a popular beach in more-southern Southern California at the request of Kevin and Neil. The three of them, and Jeremy, joined each other on the helmet clad mascot laden blanket. It was an experiment in two things: Neil being away from Andrew and Jean experiencing new foods. One of those things was more common than the other but nobody was admitting that to Jean.
“This…is not a feast.” Kevin was already mumbling as he pushed various packaged foods to the side. “Is there anything in here that doesn’t come in a box? Or something without Red 40?”
Jeremy rolled his lips between his teeth to keep from laughing and dropped a second smaller bag onto the blanket. “Of course, Kevin, we know you after all.” He pulled out the family sized salad he had put together earlier in the day as well as various fruits for Kevin to snack on.
Kevin had the audacity to blush which earned an eyeroll from Jean then a crude gesture from Neil about the two of them getting a room which only made Jean roll his eyes harder.
“Don’t worry, Jean-Yves, I’ll be here to console you when Kevin takes your Golden Retreiver away.” Neil said comfortingly (or at least in his head it was said with uplifting connotation).
Jean let out a long-suffering sigh. “Is there any actual food here? Kevin was not wrong about that.” Jean murmured as his eyes roamed over the spread with a general look of disdain marring his otherwise handsome features. His eyes found Neil’s and Neil had an unnerving grin on his face which meant ‘ no ’.
Jeremy nudged his shoulder and leaned close. “I packed sandwiches, don’t worry, this is just something Neil wanted to do.”
“So-” Neil interrupted very loudly, earning the attention of the group. “Jean, my boy,-”
“I am older than you, creatin.”
Neil continued, ignoring Jean’s protest. “Do you remember when we were in that fab little drab place where our diet consisted of boiled chicken, brown rice and steamed slimy broccoli?” Jeremy made a face and started to protest but Neil pushed on. “Well, I remember you had those weird ass candy wrappers stashed away in your room.”
“You snooping half-baked croissaint.” Jean’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You found those?”
Kevin narrowed his eyes. “You like candy? You always called them colorful empty calories.”
Jean shrugged. “I only ever got my hands on dried fruit but they were a bit too sweet for me. A small pack lasted a week or so.” He glanced at Jeremy who gave him an encouraging smile. “The Trojans insisted I get used to going off diet. It took…time, but I was able to eventually.”
“Every time one of you give a tidbit about your full lives there, it’s more pathetic,” Neil said, sounding exactly like Andrew in that moment. Kevin and Jean largely ignored him but Jeremy’s dog-like excitement was waning as it typically did around anything Raven/Nest related. “ANYWAYS, I want you to try these and tell me if you like them. I believe I have officially figured you out.”
Jean held up the first offered package. “ Super Sour Scandinavian Swimmers .” Jean read from the package. “Sour candy?”
Neil nodded in triumph as if he had solved world hunger. “Sour. You’ll love it. I swear.”
Jean’s face was scrunched in impending regret and a dash of inexperience. He sideeyed Jeremy who was giving him such a hopeful smile that he found himself opening the package. Despite years of conditioning and knowing brainlessly obeying was…bad…Jean would do possibly anything Jeremy asked him to do.
Jean popped the first piece of candy into his mouth, the others watched.
“Not bad.” Jean murmured, unaware of the attention he was attracting as he slowly read the ingredients, his mouth moving around the candy as well as the unfamiliar words. “Empty but low sugar.”
“That’s a glowing review,” Jeremy commented with a bright grin.
Neil was also smiling triumphantly. “Okay, okay, this one next-” He pushed another open bag into Jean’s hands.
“Mike and Ike.. aren’t these typically sweet?” Kevin asked, reading the box.
Neil rolled his eyes. “Yes, your highness, they’re typically sweet, but as you can see on the box these are the sour kind.”
Jean took a sip of water, a palate cleanser if you will, before changing candies. He chewed thoughtfully. “Less sour. Less good.”
Neil’s grin faded. “Shit.”
Jeremy patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, there’s more, right?”
“Sour Streamers,” Jean read aloud as he tore open the package. Another sip of water. He pulled a long strip out and took a bit. His eyebrows lifted, only slightly, a movement Jeremy insisted was another indiciation of positivity. “Good.”
“I fucking knew it.” Neil nodded as he watched Jean chew. “More.”
Jean’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the green package. “Sour Skittles?” Neil nodded and Jean sighed, sipped water, and opened the package. He took exactly one from the plastic and popped it into his mouth. “Oh, that’s good.” He murmured as he dumped out a handful into his hand and poured them all onto his tongue. “These are good.”
“Okay…last one…and these…are foul.” Neil stated as he removed bright yellow containers from his pockets.
“Why are they in your pockets?” Kevin questioned as he watched Neil flick lint off of them.
“Safety.”
“They can’t be that bad,” Jeremy said from where he looked over Neil’s shoulder. Neil turned around and the feral grin he gave Jeremy had Jeremy shrinking back an inch. “What?”
“Wanna try first?”
“I want to try too,” Kevin said, sitting up, if only to show Jeremy his manhood.
“Idiots.” Jean murmured as he sat back on his hands, chewing on his neon colored Sour Skittles.
“These are called Toxic Waste-”
“Ew-”
“They’re hard candies and they’re foul but I’m thinking Jean is going to love them.” Neil said as he unwrapped three candies and held them out. “For Kevin, green apple because I want him to suffer. Watermelon for Jeremy because I feel bad that you’re dragging yourself into this, and lemon for Jean because, well, it’s lemon.”
They placed it on their tongues and shut their mouths simultaneously. What followed was a chain of events that Kevin would flat-out deny whenever Neil mentioned it, and Jeremy would never speak of again.
Kevin let out a war cry, the kind he'd heard in history documentaries he loved to binge, and spat the candy out. Unfortunately, at that exact moment, Jeremy was gagging on his own candy, mouth wide open. The candy shot from Kevin’s mouth, flew straight into Jeremy’s, and slid to the back of his throat. Jeremy started choking. Neil, closest to him, instinctively karate-chopped Jeremy on the back, and both candies flew out—landing right back where at least one had come from. Kevin, still struggling to crawl across the picnic blanket to help, kept his mouth open in a desperate bid to rid himself of the sour torment, only to end up with two candies back on his tongue. He collapsed onto the blanket, coughing them out, where they landed in a sticky pile of sour sweetness... directly on top of the sandwiches Jeremy had carefully laid out.
Jean stayed quiet, contentedly sucking on his sour candy while he watched them. Kevin appeared to be crying, and Jeremy was sticking his tongue out, fanning it. "Am I bothered because that was an indirect kiss, or because Jeremy has never gagged in front of me before?"
Neil laughed so loudly that it startled the birds in a nearby tree. Kevin dissolved into sobs. Jeremy gagged once more. And Jean… Jean was simply happy. Neil slowly pushed a bag of sour gummy worms toward him and those easily became his favorite snack.
//
Jeremy handed Jean a lollipop, and Jean accepted it without a word, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth with a quiet sigh. Meanwhile, Jeremy kept talking to their coach, drawing curious glances from half the team and the coaching staff. Jean was dealing with some lingering pain in his fingers that day, but he would never admit it out loud. Jeremy, however, knew. He always knew. Since discovering Jean’s love for sour candy, Jean had begun to associate it with comfort rather than guilt. Jeremy might have Pavlov'd him into it, but at least Jean was aware now.
As Jean leaned back next to Jeremy, eyes closed, massaging his hand, Jeremy pulled out one of the sour lollipops he always kept on him and handed it to Jean. Once more, without opening his eyes, Jean accepted the candy.
"Excuse me—are we not going to acknowledge that?" Laila spoke up from where she was leaning against the wall, her elbow resting on Catalina's shoulder.
Their coach cleared his throat loudly, and Jeremy glanced up at Laila, a confused expression on his face. "Huh?"
“Nothing, Captain, can we get back to-”
“Did you pavlov Jean?” Laila couldn’t help but ask.
Jeremy frowned as he wordlessly took the lollipop wrapper from Jean and stuffed it into his pocket to throw away later. “What? Pavlov?”
“Yeah, it’s-”
“I know what Pavlov’ing is, Laila,” Jeremy retorted with a glare. “I am not Pavlov’ing Jean. What are you even talking about?”
Coach Rhemann sighed again, louder. “Can we please-”
“If anything, it seems like Jean has Jeremy Pavlov’d, no?” Xavier butts in.
“You’re all about to piss me off,” Jeremy muttered as he leaned back against the couch. He held out his hand, palm up, on Jean’s lap, and Jean placed his hand there so Jeremy could begin massaging the tendons in his hand.
Cat and Laila both burst into loud laughter, watching the two of them work together obliviously. Coach Rhemann cleared his throat, and Jeremy shot him a frown.
“Are you feeling okay, Coach? You’re making a lot of... old man noises.” Jeremy immediately regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but it was too late to take them back.
Coach Rhemann scowled at him then swatted at Xavier with his clipboard. “All of you. Out. Goodbye. Practice is dismissed. I don’t want to see you again for 3 days.” Coach left the room before any of them could respond. As the door to the lockerroom closed, Jean’s eyes opened and they only found Jeremy’s.
“ Maison ?”
Jeremy nodded. “Let’s get going, nobody here needs a ride.”
Xavier nearly fell off of his chair as he protested. “W-wait, I do-”
“I wasn’t asking!” Jeremy said with a smile that looked happy but his eyes told a different story as he helped Jean to his feet and they left the lockerroom together. “Did you want to go straight home or pick up some food?”
“Food, please.” Jean responded as he shifted the duffel on his shoulder. Jeremy reached for it without looking and Jean let it slip down his arm so Jeremy could transfer it to his own. Somebody behind them shouted at someone else about owing them $20 but neither man paid them any mind as they continued.
Jeremy scrolled through his phone before humming and holding it toward Jean. “I can put in an order at Rice & Nori ?” Jean nodded, glancing at Jeremy’s phone. “The usual?” Another nod.
After discovering his love for all things sour candy related, Jean had started branching out more with other foods. His California bred teammates had an obsession with sushi and that led to Jean discovering umeboshi, a sour pickled plum that went wonderfully inside a piece of onigiri or sushi roll. Jeremy had even started ordering him various kinds of the plum flavored candy, all of which Jean loved.
Jeremy had spent more money than he cared to admit ordering things from sketchy websites on the internet because they had a limited edition pack of Warheads soda’s that he thought Jean would enjoy. Jean also enjoyed Jamaica with some lime squeezed in, something the little taco shop on the corner closest to their apartment had started making for him anytime they saw him.
It had become somewhat of a game between them, Jeremy tried to find anything he could that Jean wouldn’t like that was sour but he had been unsuccessful so far. There were some things that were downright disgusting (Jean really, really, really, really hated anything having to do with cranberries, those were devil food). He discovered this at the annual July Trojans Friendsgiving, where Coach Rhemann tormented his taste buds with homemade cranberry sauce that, much to Jean's dismay, everyone else seemed to enjoy. It ended up becoming a staple at those dinners but Jean stayed far away from it.
Once they returned to their dorm, Jean immediately grabbed his half-empty bag of sour peach candies, his favorite treat that even the coach had noticed. He hummed and closed his eyes, sprawling out on his bed. He left one arm outstretched, waiting for a particular occupant to make his way into Jean’s bed. Jeremy changed into something more comfortable and squeezed onto the bed with him.
Jeremy slowly drifted to sleep, lulled by the rustling pages of the book Jean read and the soft tapping of candy against his teeth as it rolled around in his mouth. It was the corniest, easiest lullaby for him.