Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was a fairly slow evening at the Buckzo household. Performances were done for the day and everyone was settled in for the night. Tilla was watching TV with the kiddos on the couch, an old movie playing as Cash had just returned downstairs. He had been meaning to clean out the old medicine cabinet in the bathroom and tonight he finally remembered to do it.

“Finally got that thing cleaned out!” Cash grunted as he lifted up the wastebasket for emphasis.

“Thank you for doing that, hun. It was looking a bit worse for wear.” Tilla told him.

Blitzo, ever the curious boy, looked at the basket in his dad’s hands. “All that junk was behind the mirror?” He gasped, almost impressed.

“Tch. I ain’t that much of a slob.” Cash scoffed before straightening up. “Nah it was stuff under the sink too. Empty bottles, wrappers, toilet rolls and old medicine. Tilla, we still had that cough syrup shit when the goobers were babies.”

“Yikes! I’m glad you got rid of that. It’s never good to take old medicine.” Tilla told him.

Fizz sat up with a grossed out expression. “Blech. Cough medicine is so nasty,” he shuddered.

“Better than this banana medicine I had to take once for a bellyache.” Barbie groaned, the memory being horrible. “Banana only works for pudding or pie. Banana medicine is nasty!”

“At least you gremlins are better at takin’ medicine now than when you were squishy babies.” Cash commented, putting the bin down so he could sit on the couch with his family.

“What happened, boss?” Fizz wondered.

Cash and Tilla looked at each other, the memory of that night washing over them. As first time parents, the kids first time getting sick was a bit of an ordeal for them. And with what they had to do to help the little pipsqueaks, it was a learning curve but they got through it.

Eventually.

“Well it was about six months after they were born. Cash had just finished some work in his trailer after the show when we saw Blitzo was looking a little punky.” Tilla began.

“I don’t remember that.” Blitzo commented, pouting when his dad gave him a bonk.

“You still had mush brains, doofus.” Cash snarked.

{FLASHBACK}

Cash stretched his arms over his head, yawning loudly. It was a long day of performing and he was wiped. But he’d give Tilla the night off since looking after the little gremlins was a hard job. Thankfully they were only starting to crawl so they weren’t tornadoes of destruction just yet. It was pretty funny watching them move around like little slinkies.

“Hey hon I’m back!” Cash called, smiling as Barbie squealed seeing her daddy. “Aww there’s my little gal.” He cooed, scooping her up and letting her pat his face.

Barbie babbled as she patted and smushed her dad’s face. Even for being six months old, she was pretty strong. He was very grateful her claws hadn’t grown in yet.

Those things could be sharp.

“Damn you’re cute.” He gushed, laughing as she hugged his face. “Wanna go find mama?”

“Bah!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He replied, moving to the kitchen to see Tilla trying to feed Blitzo. “Hey babe. How’s my boy doing tonight?” He asked, giving her a peck on the cheek.

“It’s strange. Usually he’d be eating like crazy but he’s been a bit lethargic today.” Tilla fretted.

Cash put Barbie in her high chair—making sure to lock her in place—before taking a closer look at Blitzo. His wife was right; the little guy wasn’t looking like his usual excitable self. He was looking a bit pale and tired. And that cough wasn’t sounding very good either.

“Oh shit what’s wrong with him?” Cash questioned, putting a hand on his head.

“Well it could be a cold but I want to call their doctor to make sure. Can you keep Barbie occupied while I call the doctor?” Tilla requested.

“You got it, babe.” Cash nodded, letting Barbie grip on his claws. She was very strong for a baby. “Ya know, she could make a good acrobat one of these days.”

Tilla smiled a bit before she heard the doctor’s voice over the phone. “Hello? Hi doc it’s Tilla Buckzo. I’m calling on behalf of my son. He’s got a bit of a cough and we’re worried.” She began.

‘What does the cough sound like ma’am?’

Cash, who was listening in, rolled his eyes. “A friggin’ baby cough. What’s he expect?” He snarked, wincing as Barbie pinched his face. “Aah! Barbie! Lemme go!”

Barbie giggled as Cash pried her hands off his face.

“It’s a small cough. Does he have a runny nose?” Tilla went on, looking at her son sympathetically. “Yeah the poor baby is very stuffed up.”

“It’s like a faucet.” Cash chimed in, wiping his son’s nose.

‘What’s coming out of it?’

“Slightly thick mucus.” Tilla told him.

“What’s he expecting to come from a baby’s nose? Diet soda?” Cash joked, turning to Barbie. “These doctors ask the weirdest questions, right Barbie?”

Barbie responded by blowing a spit bubble, making both parents smile. At least she was in good spirits.

‘Does he have a fever? I would check that first. I’ll also call in a prescription for a cough syrup for him for his age.’

“Yes we’ll check for a fever. If he has one, we’ll bring him in. If not, it’s most likely a cold. Thank you, doc.” Tilla told him, turning to Cash as she hung up the phone. “Can you head to the pharmacy? I’ll check Blitzo’s temperature first.”

“You got it, baby,” Cash nodded as he went to grab his keys before stopping. He turned to his wife with a confused expression on his face. “Wait, how are ya gonna take his temperature? He’s coughing up crud so how’s he gonna hold that under his tongue?”

Tilla coughed awkwardly, blushing a bit from embarrassment. “Um…that’s not how we check fevers for babies…”

The shorter imp blinked, cocking his head a bit. “Well how are ya gonna—?” He began before realization hit him. “Oh that poor boy…”

Until they were older, babies had to get their fevers checked in an embarrassing way.

{…}

“You had to get a thermometer up the butt? Ow!” Fizz winced.

Blitzo groaned as he buried his face in a pillow as Barbie patted his shoulder sympathetically. Tilla gave Fizz a sheepish smile, knowing baby care was a pretty awkward subject. “Well not fully up there. Only about 1/2 to 1 inch.” Tilla explained, giving her rather pale-looking husband a comforting glance. “Cash could handle diaper changes but this was a bit too much for him.”

“I didn’t want it gettin’ stuck!” Cash reasoned.

“I never want to get my temperature taken that way ever again!” Blitzo whined.

“Well after a few months, babies can get their temperature taken under the armpit and eventually orally.” Tilla reassured her son.

“So what happened next?” Barbie asked.

“Well, I had to get that cough syrup junk for Blitzo. Hoo boy that was a ‘fun’ time trying to get him to take that.” Cash explained, slight sarcasm in his voice.

{…}

“Hey I’m back with the cough syrup. Cherry flavored.” Cash panted as he sat with his wife on the couch.

Thankfully Barbie was occupied in the playpen so Tilla could focus on Blitzo. She was rocking him to try and calm him down since he was a bit fussy. “Thank you hun. I’m happy to report he doesn’t have a fever so if we give him the cough medicine before bedtime, he should be fine in the morning.” She told him.

“Well that’s good. He didn’t shit on ya, did he?” He questioned, the idea of a rectal thermometer making him queasy.

“Thankfully he had a diaper change before he started to feel sick.” Tilla replied before giving him a flat look. “Baby poops are bad enough but sick baby poops are even worse.”

“Oh tell me about it. Had a hot dog once from a place that I probably shouldn’t have. Next thing I know, I’m on the shitter all night with the worst diarrhea ever.” Cash shuddered.

“At least it wasn’t an egg salad sandwich from a gas station.” Tilla joked, making her husband laugh. “Alright now let’s give Blitzo some medicine. If I hold him, can you give it to him?”

“Sure thing, Tills.” Cash nodded, unscrewing the cap and pouring the medicine in the included spoon. “Geh…this is what they think cherry smells like?”

“Well as long as he can take it.” Tilla reasoned, sitting Blitzo on her lap. “Okay honey. Let’s get you feeling all better, huh?”

Tilla was making silly faces and noises to distract her son while Cash tried to feed it to him. Unfortunately, even when he was feeling crummy, Blitzo was still a little scrapper. He knocked the medicine right into Tilla’s face.

Barbie laughed and clapped at the funny sight; her mommy and daddy looking silly always made her smile. Cash, while he was trying hard not to crack a grin, was failing miserably. “S-Sorry babe. Guess I didn’t hold the spoon tight enough.” Cash told her, snickering the whole time.

“Uh-huh. How about you hold him and I’ll try feeding him the medicine?” Tilla suggested, taking a tissue to wipe her face.

“Good idea.” Cash nodded, plopping Blitzo on his lap. “Come on, you. It don’t taste that bad.”

Tilla, having a much firmer hold on the spoon, tried to get it in Blitzo’s mouth. But this time his little feet knocked the medicine right up Cash’s nose. Barbie flopped back, laughing her little head off as her dad blew the medicine out of his nose with a nearby tissue.

“Not so easy, is it?” Tilla smirked.

“Ack! It smells even worse than it tastes!” Cash gagged, giving his wife a flat look. “This is gonna be a long night, isn’t it.”

Tilla, solemnly placing a hand on his shoulder, gave him a nod. “I’m afraid so, hun.”

{…}

Barbie and Blitzo gave their parents sheepish smiles as they were told about their old habits. Barbie laughing like a little goofball at her parents looking silly and Blitzo being stubborn about medicine. Fizz was having a good time hearing more goofy stories about his friends while Cash and Tilla were amused by the whole thing after the fact.

“Ehehehe…s-sorry for throwing the medicine at you guys…” Blitzo laughed nervously.

“And sorry for laughing when he did. I guess it was really funny?” Barbie added lamely.

“Well you knuckleheads were goobers then and ya are now,” Cash smirked, rubbing their heads. “Anyway, we tried everything to make that medicine more palatable.”

“Trying to pretend it was an airplane, mixing it in food—word to the wise; never mix cough syrup in puréed chicken.” Tilla advised.

“EEW!” The kids gagged.

“We eventually got it down but we had to give him a bunch of applesauce so he didn’t puke it back up.” The ringmaster told them.

“Just for our own peace of mind, we moved the cribs into our room for the night. Barbie was on the left with Cash and Blitzo was on the right with me.” Tilla added, running a hand through her son’s spines. “We wanted to make sure you were okay. And we didn’t have baby monitors.”

{…}

The baby imps were asleep in their cribs, Tilla joining them as Cash stayed up for a bit longer to keep an eye on the twins. Barbie was out like a light but he wanted to make sure Blitzo would actually sleep. The cough medicine was supposed to help him sleep but it was first time parent jitters that was making him more antsy than usual.

Cash got up as quietly as he could to move to Blitzo’s crib. He looked like he was asleep in his little onesie. The older imp gave a small smile as he stuck his claw in, letting Blitzo grab it in his sleep.

“Hope ya feel better soon ya little goober.” Cash whispered. “You’re a bundle of trouble in diapers but…seein’ ya all sick ain’t fun.”

Blitzo cooed in his sleep, kicking his feet as his tail swished a little.

“Get some sleep, bud.” Cash told him, gently pulling his claw out from Blitzo’s baby grip. “Love you.”

Cash checked on Barbie one more time before settling into bed once more. He was stunned when he felt a small smooch to the cheek. Confused, he turned and saw his wife looking at him adoringly.

“Thank you hun.”

Feeling flustered, Cash held her hand under the blanket as he laid back down. “W-Well when ya told me he was sick, I got scared. I didn’t wanna fuck up, y’know?” He reasoned quietly.

“You did fine.” She promised, stroking his cheek. “We did what the doctor said and got through this.”

“It ain’t easy. But I’m glad you’re here.” Cash told her.

With one more kiss, the two new parents decided to settle in for the night. The kids were sleeping soundly so hopefully this first night of dealing with a sick baby would be over in the morning. It wasn’t easy having to split work and parenting duties like this but they made it work.

{…}

“You were better in the morning and miraculously, Barbie didn’t get sick at all.” Tilla told them.

“Wow lucky me!” Barbie smiled.

“So it was just a cold? That’s crazy.” Blitzo mused.

“Hey when you’re little like that, ya gotta do everything ya can to make it better.” Cash reasoned, getting up and picking up the trash. “I better get this out of here before it starts to leak.”

The kids watched as the older imp left the house, leaving them with Tilla. Blitzo looked up at his mom curiously. “Did dad really check on me that night?”

“I heard every word. He might not be great at showing it all the time but he was very worried about you.” Tilla told him. “And he loves you. All three of you.”

Blitzo was surprised but as he saw his dad throwing the trash into the dumpster, the young boy had a small smile on his face. The more he learned about his parents, the more he knew even with their weirdness, they cared a lot. Tilla was a natural doting mother with a silly side. Cash might’ve been gruff and snarky with a tendency to tease but if he was willing to go out late at night to get cough syrup, that said a lot. He was a grouch but he was a grouch that loved his family.

Sick days and all.

[END]