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Sonny Carisi was meant to be a dad. Rafael had known for a while that Sonny wanted a family; to raise kids and take them to church, teach them how to ride a bike and play the guitar, have nice Carisi family dinners in Staten Island and wear matching corny sweaters during Christmas.
Until that happened, Sonny took care of Amanda’s girls as if they were his own, helped Olivia with Noah and even babysat for Bella if he had the opportunity. He’d seen all the virtues in the way he took care of kids at the precinct and made them feel safe. Sonny was patient, empathic and protective.
Sonny was made to be a dad.
Rafael wasn’t so sure he could ever be.
At the beginning of their relationship, Rafael kept his doubts in the back of his mind, like knowing he might never fulfill Sonny’s expectations was a dirty little secret. He could never replicate his mother’s strength and his abuelita’s resilience. Instead, his father’s shadow stuck around, unforgiving and relentless with his words as much as his belt. Even after being gone for years, the man managed to disrupt Rafael’s perception of fatherhood.
What if he gave a kid a bad example? What if he ended up being a disappointment and unable to provide all the things they needed? What if he became his own father? What if he failed ?
Rafael would never forgive himself if that happened.
They never talked about it, mostly because he kept avoiding the topic in fear it would be a dealbreaker. If Sonny said something along those lines, he’d nod and smile, change the course of the conversation and pray that would be the end of it. For a while, it worked.
The doubts lingered, eating his mind away, dreading the day Sonny brought it up and caused the downfall of their peaceful safe haven. It’s not that Rafael didn’t want to have kids, he just didn’t know if he could be a good dad. Not like Sonny, not with such effortless talent and compassion.
The longer they stayed together, Rafael couldn’t help the thoughts rushing to his head whenever he saw Sonny holding a kid or simply bumping fists, sometimes he’d hold Jesse and his brain would require a reset. Sometimes he’d hold a sleepìng Sonny in his arms in the early morning, sun rays casting a warm glow over his features, and wonder what it’d be like to be woken up by an overexcited toddler jumping on their bed, begging for daddy’s fluffy pancakes for breakfast.
He would get their daughter ready for a day out in the park - at some point his subconscious decided it would be a little girl and ran with it- in color coordinated fits, then they’d sit and play and watch a sweaty Sonny play basketball from afar. Other days, he pictured coming home from work to find Sonny passed out on the couch, hands wrapped around their daughter, shielding her from harm.
Then it would go the other way, what if his daughter came home one day heartbroken? What if they fell off their tricycle and scratched their knees or tripped during a walk and—? What if she was ever in danger like the dozens of kids he’d seen at the hands of scumbags?
Rafael wasn’t sure if he could handle it, not alone.
A year into their relationship, it was bound to happen. The ‘do you want to get married and have kids?’ conversation he dreaded. He already knew the answer for the first part. The second was a lot harder to admit to Sonny in the middle of the living room in their shared apartment.
For a moment, he couldn’t breathe, fighting the urge to run when he explained to Sonny that maybe yes, he wanted a kid, but maybe not? How could he be a father? He was in no way ready. No. Maybe. One day? He can’t be sure. He expected the walls to crumble and crush him, hands going numb and something buzzing next to his ears expecting a reply.
There wasn’t judgement or disappointment, no sleet raining down on him. There was only understanding and feather light kisses to his hand, kind eyes letting him know it was okay to feel that way. He didn’t need to be perfect, but having kids is a privilege. He could hesitate, be frightened, and take his time. But was in no way required to say yes at the end.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you , Rafael. You’re enough for me.” Sonny had said, his voice full of honesty and love. “If you’re ever ready, I’ll be here. If you never are, I’ll be here too. You’re my everything, Rafi, I promise you that.”
Rafael struggled to believe Sonny would simply put his dreams aside, that he’d be happy being uncle Sonny forever if Rafael never got over his doubts. Everyone left or disappointed him at some point. What if Sonny was just saying it for the time being? What if he was never ready? How could he be sure his promises were real?
Sonny showed him, though.
When Rafael forgot to take care of himself, submerged too deep in case, Sonny would bring food and coffee to his office and force him to take a little break, distracting him with mindless talk. He would bring flowers or gift him books from his wishlist whether he won a case or not.
When Rafael was back in his parent’s closet, hiding from his father’s unforgiving leather belt, Sonny held him through it, letting him cry and trash around in arms in the middle of the night, promising he’d never let anyone hurt him ever again.
When Rafael had one of those days, where he felt like Atlas, holding the heavens on his shoulders, Sonny was at his side, always ready to tell him was the strongest person he had ever met between soft kisses and tight hugs, willing to carry some of the weight too.
Sonny looked at him with adoring eyes, like he’d crafted the world in seven days and deserved worshipping. He’d never felt anything similar, to be loved by a person who’d moved the heavens and hell for him. There was no one else who made him feel strong, secure, supported or adored. It made everything easier, knowing he was not alone.
It wasn’t until a hot summer afternoon, after lunch with the whole Carisi extended family, that Rafael made his decision. He dealt with Sonny’s family and marriage questions for a while, finally settling in the backyard to watch the kids play around. Rafael nursed a beer that had long gone warm and tried his best to listen to Teresa’s most recent relationship drama but his focus quickly drifted somewhere else.
Sonny ran around with Bella’s daughter on his shoulders, spinning until they both ended up in a fit of giggled on the grass. They settled under a tree and Sonny laid next to her, pointing at the sky, to the clouds, immersed in what looked like an avid discussion of their shapes.
“That looks like a drumstick, Uncle Sonny!” Francesca yelled, Sonny seemed to agree, pulling his phone out to snap a picture.
From the porch, Rafael’s chest warmed up at the image, something funny gnawing at his insides. Sonny and Francesca waved from afar, then she leaned in to whisper something in his ear and both broke into laughter. Once more, he pictured Sonny with their daughter, in their backyard, in their home.
Rafael realized two things at that moment. One: he would never be like his own father. And two: if he ever had a kid, he’d want a man like Sonny to raise him or her with.
Two years into their marriage, many therapy sessions and one black cat named Counselor later, Rafael brought up the adoption conversation during breakfast. Sonny’s smile had been wide, eyes sparkling with excitement. They both knew it could be a while until the process was completed. It would be long, full of ups and downs, rejections, paperwork and dealing with the possibility of it never happening. They were willing to take it.
The wait gave them time to think and learn. To have long talks about what they would do when they became parents. To find a bigger apartment, to consider whether to stay in Manhattan or move closer to Sonny’s parents. For Sonny to consider if he would remain a cop or put his law degree to use. For Rafael to think about leaving the DA’s office before his burnout reached a breaking point. All the things they needed to choose before their lives flipped.
About a year and a half later, they took in a beautiful baby girl, just over 15 months old with blue eyes and brown curly hair, as foster parents after her mother died. There were no other relatives in the picture, no possibility of reunification. They couldn’t stand the thought of no one taking care of her. A few weeks and a lot of paperwork later, Natalia Barba-Carisi became the focus of their lives.
She had adorable cheeks that matched Rafael’s and a bubbly smile like Sonny’s even if that wasn’t technically possible. It broke Rafael’s heart anytime she cried, unable to understand why her mother was not coming back, adapting to a whole new life and environment. Sonny calmed her down a lot easier than Rafael did at first, pacing around the apartment to get her to sleep.
Rafael finished baby proofing the apartment with Amanda’s help. Sonny stayed at home for the first few weeks at Olivia’s insistence, which Rafael was insanely grateful for. His phone quickly filled with pictures of Natalia and Counselor. And Sonny, always Sonny. He also had a lot to learn. But then he realized, they both did.
Seeing Sonny struggle right alongside him was reassuring, in a weird way, in a we’re b oth on the same boat way. He could make a mistake and Sonny wouldn’t be mad about it, it would simply be another learning opportunity. They would go out for groceries with Sonny carrying her strapped to his chest in a baby carrier. Rafael would stay up late when she kept crying to let Sonny sleep some more, they would google fun activities for toddlers and call both Lucia and Serafina, bless their hearts, at ungodly hours of the night for advice.
After getting a booster seat and a stroller, he realized there were things he didn’t even think about until he went shopping with Amanda’s help while Sonny stayed to paint her room…he might have gone overboard. So what? He would spoil the hell out of his kid.
Suddenly the entire apartment was filled with sippy cups, baby wipes, stacking toys, picture books, swimwear and outerwear - that she’d probably outgrown in 3 months but still - a gigantic giraffe Sonny insisted on getting for her one time and he remembered, and extra 100% cotton baby blankets because he refused to get anything less soft. And more stuffed animals.
Whatever Natalia needed, she got.
Things settled down months later, there wasn’t much crying when she finally warmed up to them. Natalia was inquisitive, quick and eager to explore and Counselor loved her. Which, weird. The cat avoided him and preferred Sonny for some reason, even though he was the one (reluctantly) buying chaser wands, plastic springs and a multi-level cat tree, but Sonny scratched his ears and served his food, so immediately that made him favorite.
Anyways. Natalia liked him back and after making sure she wasn’t allergic, he could stay on the couch cuddling with her and Counselor until Sonny came home and cooked for everyone. Sonny would read her a story from her favorite book - the one with a massive blue elephant and monkeys in the cover - to get her to sleep while he washed the dishes. They would shower and collapse in bed together, too tired to do anything else. Juggling their careers and a kid was hard, time flies by when you’re overworked and sleepy. He wouldn’t change it.
It was perfect. Better than he would have imagined, even if he was exhausted and required triple the dose of coffee to function normally.
It was all worth it. When Natalia wrapped a tiny finger around one of his own to get him to play tea time and called him papa for the first, his heart fluttered, almost leaping out of his chest.
It was worth it to see them on the floor of her room. Sonny sat cross legged, teaching her animal sounds, colors and some Spanish phrases to impress Rafael later.
Rafael’s dreams unfolded right in front of his eyes, better than his mind conjured in the past, finding them napping in a rocking chair together. He’d play with Counselor, despite his reservations, so he wouldn’t feel left out and try to do some work, unable to focus when the loves of his life were right down the hall.
———
Sonny planned a whole day for Natalia’s two year-old birthday. Rafael’s not even sure if she would remember it, but he wouldn’t be opposed to it. She had recently gained interest in sea creatures; he got her a new array of toys ranging from dolphins to a weird purple octopus plush toy.
Sonny’s surprise started with the Aquarium and ended at the beach, which is why he was packing more sunscreen than absolutely necessary for 3 people. Sonny would end up looking like a shrimp and complain the whole time, so he’s not about to risk sunburn.
“Rafi, come on, one bottle is enough, what’s all this?” Sonny came into the living room, trying to fit a hat over Natalia’s head, who kept pulling off and throwing it to the other side of the room because it was funny to see her daddy sprint to get it back. “We’re spending the day out, not the entire weekend.”
“What if we run out? Or it gets lost? You can’t have too much sunscreen,” Rafael countered, fitting a third bottle in the bag.
“Yes you can, and yes you do, leave one, we need space for her snacks.” Sonny replied, pointing a finger at him. Rafael begrudgingly agreed, leaving the two bigger ones inside. He finished packing diapers, a change of clothes and fruit snacks, stealing a piece of strawberry before Sonny could see him.
“Alright, all good here, anything I’m missing?” Rafael stood up, already dressed in navy blue linen shorts and a white polo. He had a mesh bag with a sand bucket, a shovel and three sand molds right next to their massive, over packed bag.
Sonny walked back out with Natalia in a light pink sundress and a wide-brimmed straw hat that finally stayed in place. He didn’t have time to say how adorable she looked, he glanced at his husband, fighting the urge to face-palm. Sonny wore a short sleeve button-up Hawaiian shirt with the most ridiculous pink and white flower pattern he’d ever seen and pink shorts, and hat too. Jesus christ.
“Sonny—”
“Not a word, it’s cute!” Sonny posed with his free hand on his hip. “We’re matching, aren’t we, sweetheart?”
“Yeah!” Natalia echoed, trying to twirl around still holding Sonny. “Matching with daddy!”
God damnit, fine, it was adorable. “I forgive your crimes against fashion simply because this one…,” He said approaching Natalia and picking her up in his arms, causing a loud giggle. “This one is adorable enough for both of you, aren’t you, hermosa ?” She nodded vehemently, Rafael placed a kiss on her cheek and looked back at Sonny, who had his arms crossed.
“Are you saying I’m not adorable?”
“In an embarrassing kind of way, but fine, yes you are too.” Rafael conceded, leaning in to peck him too, Natalia tugged his ear to pull him back. She had a weird don’t-kiss-daddy phase to work out of. “Sorry, sorry, but are we ready?”
“Yeah, let’s go, did you pack water bo—”
“Yes, and snacks for everyone.”
“Okay, come on, I don’t want to miss the AquaTheater show.” Sonny rushed them out of the apartment, Rafael still holding Natalia and leaving him to carry the rest of their stuff.
One hour subway ride to Coney Island later and some minimal walking, they all sat in the front-row for the show. Natalia sat between them clapping with excitement, the moment the sea lion jumped out of the water they reached out to stop her from running towards the railing..
“It’s a pleasure to welcome y’all to the only aquarium in the greatest city in the world!” All the chatter and kids wailing slowed down when the lady across from them started talking. She started a quick talk about animal care and an introduction to Bruiser, the sea lion who would be performing that day.
Bruiser waved and clapped with the music they played in the background, which Rafael found impressive and suddenly way too focused on learning about them.
Rafael paid attention and discovered a few interesting things about sea lions; they can swim at burst speeds up to 25 mph, they swim using their front flippers, and their whiskers contain nerve fibers, which make them sensitive and- at one point he got too invested, thinking about ordering a book about sea lions and marine life just to get more information. Next thing he knew, Sonny had Natalia on his knee, bouncing and clapping right along with her.
Anytime Bruiser jumped, spun or danced, he’d get a fish to eat and then splash around, Natalia would giggle and point to make sure her dads were watching. By the time the show was coming to an end, the music changed and the trainer made a special announcement, Rafael narrowed his eyes. Why was the happy birthday song—?
“Bruiser here would like to say happy birthday to a lovely girl in the audience today,” She began, Rafael turned around, confused, Sonny kept his head looking forward, but he could see the hints of a pleased smirk on his face.
“Natalia Barba-Carisi,” She waved in their direction and Natalia squealed, almost jumping from Sonny’s hold again. “From all of us here at NYC Aquarium, Bruiser and your dads, happy birthday! We hope you enjoy your day.” Bruiser jumped around and did a twirl, then came closer to the platform right in front of them, booping a tiny beach ball that landed perfectly in Rafael’s arms. He swam back to the trainers for his treat.
Rafael had never been so irrevocably in love with Sonny. The man had actually — he’d kissed him if it wouldn’t get them arrested from public indecency. He would save his thanks for making our daughter happy kisses for later. He was content with the way Natalia beamed with joy, waving at Bruiser and blowing kisses as the show came to an end.
Rafael offered a warm smile when Sonny leaned in to whisper, “Good start?”
“Perfect start,” Rafael confirmed.
Second stop was the amusement park. With an all day pass, they could access anything they wanted, which was a little excessive considering Natalia’s age. He had no idea of Sonny’s hidden agenda.
Brooklyn Barge was not too bad, he rode with Natalia rocking in the little tug boat with ease. Nex was the Speed Boat, which Sonny got on with her, they spun in circles and she made plane sounds extending her hands.
But apparently that was too boring and slow, so Sonny dipped to ride the Sling Shot before he could protest. Rafael watched in horror as Sonny was buckled into an open-air cockpit, flying over 150 feet in the air then hurled back down in fluid motions. Natalia thought it was hilarious though, watching the ball spin around with her daddy inside. Christ. Was Sonny trying to give him a heart attack? Didn’t he have enough worrying about Sonny getting hurt in the line of duty? What if the damn ball came loose and—
Rafael stuck to the carousel and the Tea Party ride - which made him nauseous but his daughter loved the concept of being inside a massive spinning cup - and made Sonny hold their stuff while they were at it.
Sonny stood near, munching on a caramel apple the whole time until they were done with the kiddie rides. Rafael saw the gleam in his eyes when he noticed the Cyclone. He started shaking his head, there was no way, it was almost noon and if Sonny went on he’d have tachycardia again.
“Wait, wait, before we go, can you just—?” Sonny said, holding him back, he pointed at the massive wooden roller coaster structure on the other side, then he put on his best puppy eyes before adding, “Last one, then hot dogs and beach, yes?”
Rafael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Fuck it, if Sonny wanted to feel his heart beating at an unnatural rate just before dropping to his feet and feel cold all over, he can’t say no. Him? He’d stay safely with two feet on the ground holding an overager toddler.
“Fine, just once, and if you throw up, I don’t want to hear any complaints on the way home.” Rafael warned, Sonny squealed, kissing him and Natalia before dumping their stuff on him and sprinting. He put Natalia down and walked closer, she pointed at the seats from afar pretending she could see her daddy there. Maybe she could and he’s just blind, but unlikely.
Rafael did a quick google search, he’d never understand why someone would subject themselves to “an adrenaline-charged plunge measuring 85 feet at an uncompromising descent angle of almost 60 degrees”, just why? It looked terrifying, but once again, Sonny was willing to try new things and frankly, Rafael had come to realize his husband was also a bit unhinged. Amanda was rubbing off on him.
Sonny came back with his hands in his pockets, nonchalant. Only his hair looked a mess, otherwise, unfazed by the whole thing. How? Rafael would be puking in the nearest trash can. Either he is crazy and has no concept of danger after hitting his head so many times, or Rafael is exaggerating.
Either way, they walked over for some classic hot dogs for lunch and sat outside Nathan’s hot dogs on a picnic table. Sonny pulled out a container with bear shaped tiny sandwiches and natural fruit juice for Natalia. How on earth— they were up at six in the morning! Well, Sonny was and he stayed for another hour and ohhh, right.
Logic said that it was a myth, there was no reason to wait before getting in the water. Rafael forced them to wait half an hour anyway, Lucia Barba’s voice resounding clearly in his brain.
Tourists and locals sunbathed and strolled around, snapping pictures. From afar he could still hear the screams coming from Luna Park and its wonder wheel mixing with all types of music from people having their speakers. The moment golden sand and ocean became visible, Natalia started running and he had to sprint to prevent her from face-planting, just barely, having to carry her the rest of the way.
Sonny found a great spot close to the shore, planting their umbrella and beach towels to lay down. Natalia was already trying to shed her dress, he helped pull it over her head to reveal a pink and white striped two-piece swimsuit with pink ruffled accents on both sides. He grabbed one bottle of sunscreen and lathered another layer on her, especially her face despite her complaints.
He turned to do the same for Sonny’s back, who had also stripped down to just his swim shorts…with the same ridiculous pattern as the shirt.
“Did you get those in a set?” Rafael said, trying hard not to linger too long as he applied sunscreen to his back muscles, clearly distracting him from the offending choice of beachwear.
“Yeah, the whole outfit was on sale actually,” Sonny replied, trying to turn around to meet Rafael’s questioning gaze. “What? You want one? We can buy matching ones for the whole fam—”
“Sonny, I love you, but no.” Rafael immediately replied, Sonny pouted, searching for Natalia's support.
“Papa is boring, the green set would look great on him, right, pumpkin?” Natalia nodded, although she was too busy trying to put sand into the bucket and hitting the shovel against it. “See? She knows it too.”
“You get rid of that hideous brown tie and I’ll get the green swim shorts.” Rafael knew he wouldn’t say no, he was too attached to that tie and—
“Deal.”
Rafael paled. “Wait no—”
“Too bad, let’s go!” Sonny stood up and picked up Natalia, running towards the water to avoid Rafael from backing out of the deal. That little shit.
Rafael applied another layer on himself and reached for a water bottle and a book from the bag. He relaxed under the shade, occasionally glancing at Sonny with Natalia over his shoulders playing among the gentle waves.
About half an hour later, Sonny brought her back to his side. Rafael removed his sunglasses and he put the book away, knowing that look on her face.
“Hungry, hermosa ?” Rafael pulled one of the containers, half the strawberries were gone but hey, they were sweet and he was there alone, it’s not like Natalia would notice the discrepancy.
“Rafael Barba, did you eat—?” Sonny admonished, standing over them with both hands on his hips, water dripping from his hair down his chest and abs down to the shorts that hung a little too low. “Rafael!”
Rafael blinked twice, throat dry as his eyes traveled upwards and he was finally able to reply, “There’s enough for both, plus, we share all the time.”
Natalia took the container from his hands and started munching on the remaining pieces, Sonny walked to the side and pulled another juice box for her. “You’re lucky I always pack extra, that’s why you can share.”
With that, Sonny ran back to the ocean, ass bouncing with those gorgeous hamstrings...He’s no better than a common man. He has a hot husband with wavy hair running towards the beach, who’s also raising a daughter with him and makes stupid patterns look good. He’s allowed to look.
Rafael pulled a bag of pretzels and ate with Natalia, holding a groan anytime he spotted Sonny swimming around, or coming out of the water as he pushed his hair back and his biceps strained. Nice. Hot. Right, focus.
Once Natalia was done, they moved on to making sandcastles, using the molds to create little ducks and stars around it. At the end they had four towers with a space for a pond in the middle that he they could fill with water. “There we go, princess, you like it?”
Natalia nodded, standing up to waddle back to his side and wrapped her arms around his neck, planting a several kisses on his cheek each followed by, “I looove it,” until she started pointing at her daddy coming back from the ocean.
“Thought I lost you to a mermaid there,” Rafael joked, unsure how the hell Sonny spent over an hour out there without getting bored. He’d be the first to come forward and prove his husband’s stamina, no doubt about that.
“Ariel! Ariel” Natalia interjected, spinning around as if she was looking for her favorite princess among the people.
“Sorry baby, no Ariel here,” She crossed her arms and pouted, so similar to Sonny, copy and paste. He’s done if they ever used that expression on him at the same time. “We can watch when we get home, I promise.”
Rafael and Natalia agreed with the pinky promise gesture while Sonny dried himself off and sat on the beach towel, rummaging the bag for his own gummy bears and a can of coke.
“Wanna stay with daddy while I go?” Rafael offered, stripping down to his own black swim shorts, this time giving Sonny a show.
“No,” Ok, that was quick and her tone left no room for doubt. “Wanna go with you.”
Sonny’s bubbly laughter came somewhere behind him. He knew why. Rafael always played saying Sonny was the favorite parent, which yeah makes no sense, Natalia isn’t their cat, and not old enough to pick favorites. Sonny would always counter by saying it was him, because he spoiled her, which was not a lie, he’d give Natalia the stars if she asked, but seeing her hold him hand and drag him to the waves made his heart sing.
Natalia clung to him, staying in the shallow part, he could see Sonny stealing some of his pretzels, which he always said he didn’t do. Pretzels were not a match at gummy bears, yeah right.
Most importantly, Natalia was happily splashing water at him, giggling whenever he made shark sounds and she pretended to scare him away. They stayed there for a while, Sonny flashing a smile, perched using Rafael’s sunglasses, away from the umbrella’s protection to get a nice tan.
They stayed there a little longer, each time he tried to get out she would start begging for only five more minutes papa , and of course he said yes.
“Papa, papa!” Natalia yelled, excited for something he couldn’t pinpoint until she grabbed his cheeks and forced him to turn and see two other kids holding ice cream cones. “Please.”
Damn, the puppy eyes were identical too. She was learning Sonny’s ways too fast. He nodded, walking hand in hand with her towards Sonny, who had dozed off at some point, arms crossed behind his head.
“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” He said, dropping unceremoniously next to Sonny, who startled awake with a grunt and rolled back towards the shade’s safety. “You’re lucky no one took our things.”
“They’re NYPD protected,” Sonny said, pointing at the badge he had left in front of the bag to scare any miscreants away. “See? All good.”
Rafael resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead he started drying Natalia off, using the towel around her trick to get her changed into clean clothes.
“Birthday girl wants some ice cream, so I think we’re done here, right, princess?” Rafael explained, backed by an over excited toddler jumping and yelling at them to hurry up.
He changed into a tank top, but of course Sonny stayed shirtless. They packed everything and headed to Coney’s Cones for some gelato, because of course, Sonny refused to get normal ice cream. Down the boardwalk, there were several fast food stands, ice cream, game stops and beer stands, they were bound to get side tracked, so when Natalia squealed between them, it was not a surprise.
“Daddy, can I get a bear?” Natalia pointed at a water gun shooter game, tugging Sonny towards it. There were big brown teddy bears, pandas and koalas twice her size, on the lowest part of the stand some tiny bunnies and turtles. Rafael had to seriously consider how many plushies were too many for a two-year old.
“Anything you want, pumpkin.” Sonny replied, getting closer to survey the set up of the game and then pay for a go. He had 12 opportunities to shoot 10 ducks with the stream and make them disappear. “You said the big brown bear right?”
Natalia nodded, Rafael lifted her up so she could see Sonny. He got in position, putting the sunglasses atop his hair, holding the water gun as he would his Glock. The game started with the typical arcade music and Sonny shot the first five with ease, biting his lip, brow furrowed in concentration.
“Get the evil ducks, daddy!” Natalia babbled, a little too happy about animal cruelty, even if fake. That’s a talk he would have later. Instead, Rafael had to admit there was something incredibly sexy in a shirtless Sonny with pink shorts, aiming at each duck with incredible accuracy to win their daughter an oversized teddy bear.
Multi-colored lights framing the game flashed, music telling them it was over and big bold letters that read YOU WON appeared. The guy running the game handed Sonny their prize, Natalia clapped and squirmed to be put down, running over to her daddy, but in reality, she just made grabby hands to get the bear.
Sonny handed it over, crouching next to her. “Thank you, daddy.” He saw the emotion overtake Sonny, eyes watering as he leaned in to kiss her forehead, running a hand over her soft hair.
“Anything for you, princess.” Sonny replied, missing when Rafael took a picture to treasure the moment forever.
There was another pit stop at a candy store where Sonny and Natalia spènt almost half an hour picking and choosing the right combination of hard candy, gummies, cotton candy and chocolate possible. He made Sonny promise to pace eating all of that for the next several weeks, and to also carry the bag and bear home, already getting to the point of too much for 4 hands.
Then finally, after dragging his feet behind two energetic children to get to the gelato shop, they all sat on a wooden bench on the side of the boardwalk; a strawberry cup for Natalia, chocolate for Rafael and pistachio for Sonny.
The strong breeze finished drying their hair, glad the hats were forgotten inside the bag, and the sun disappeared slowly with a mix of pinks and oranges in the horizon. Rafael could still hear the whooshing from the amusement park, smell the fried food and the sun prickling under his skin, he got up and walked a few feet away, taking his phone out.
“Hey, hermosa , give papa one of those beautiful smiles,” He called, Sonny immediately wrapped an arm around her. Natalia snuggled impossibly closer to his side, smiling with gelato still in the corner of her mouth. He snapped a few pictures, for good measure, then turned to selfie mode for another where Natalia and Sonny both stuck their tongues out with a peace sign.
Rafael sat back down, staring at the last picture, rejoicing in the silliness, the fun and the glee in their eyes. Nothing else mattered in that moment except his daughter swinging her legs, staring at both of them with doe eyes and his husband carefully guiding the spoon to her mouth to prevent any spills.
He’d been so caught up in the fear of fucking up and making mistakes until he realized the burden was not only his to carry. Sonny made everything lighter and manageable, taking care of both of them without expecting anything in return. Rafael was grateful for the opportunity to see Sonny be the dad he had always been meant to be, and to learn what that meant for himself right alongside Sonny.
“So, who has room for pizza?” Sonny said, discarding the empty gelato cups on a trash can next to them.
“Me!!” Natalia cheered, lifting both hands up to start chanting right after, “Pizza! Pizza!”
At the same time, they turned around, using the puppy eyes and pout combination to make him swoon and forget any protest that could arise from him.
“Pizza time it is.” He conceded, kissing the top of Natalia’s head.
Rafael saw a future where they both teamed up all the time to have things go their way, knowing his weakness. He wouldn’t have it any other way.