Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The black nightshades bore petals of pure white, the middle a yellow that would light up (almost) anybody’s day. The star shape gave the flower a unique feeling of tranquility to Gen.

In the language of flowers, black nightshades symbolizes “liar” which Gen thought perfectly represented him.

He could relate to them. 

Untrustworthy, toxic, the complexities of life. If only his life could be as simple as a flower.

All he’d have to worry about was being stepped on by those he was insignificant to. If Gen was being honest, he’d rather that than the depressing life he was cursed with.

His mother loved these black nightshades. 

Gen didn’t remember his mother too well as she died when he was young, but what he did remember was how much happier he was when she was around. Since then, the world around him has become numb. He mourned the fact he’d never feel that way again, no matter how hard he could pretend. It’d almost be laughable if it weren’t so pitiful.

He can't help but feel guilty. His mother would be so upset if she knew what a pathetic human being he had become.

The world is gray, his heart silent. He was grateful for how easy it had become to stop caring.

To be blissfully ignorant would be a blessing. To not know of all the dirty people in this world. It was a wonder how he was the only one who could see it, perhaps it was more of a curse than anything. He pitied the children who had yet to be aware of everything going on around them.

Of their overworked mothers reaching their breaking point.

Of the shady deals happening in the alleyway by their homes.

The harm that would inevitably befall them and the people they loved.

He pitied the day they would realize there was no one in this disgusting world they could trust. Gen had long since come to that realization. 

It was better this way.

At least he had grown used to it, so it hurt less. All he had was himself, and that was okay. He’s accepted that.

Gen has learned to live with a shallow heart.

It had become so easy to read people once he stopped caring, it was honestly a mystery how he hadn’t been able to see it before.

He knew when people were hiding something. 

He knew when they were feigning a smile.

And the all too apparent hatred that showed within every person’s eyes.

Consequently, Gen had become somewhat skilled at hiding his own emotions. A flawless mask.

Over the years, he had been able to polish and wear it perfectly. He could keep his spiteful thoughts to himself, hide the hurt with a smile. Hold his tongue when being insulted by his stepmother or ignored by his father.

Gen was compelled to feel proud of himself for perfecting such a useful skill.

He smiles, lifting the watering can and setting it aside when he notices another tear on his haori sleeve. A minimal tear, but it’d probably be best to stitch it up sooner rather than later before the motivation to do so eludes him. 

Gen had lost count of the number of times he’s had to stitch up these same clothes over and over again.

His head hung low when his fists clenched. Thanks to his parents, his brother had countless options of clothes to wear, yet they couldn’t bother to give Gen more than a measly few outfits.

Relaxing his tense joints, he quickly let the topic go and stood up straight, a small sigh leaving his lips.

It’s not like it was his brother’s fault he was favored by his parents while he was treated like a servant. It still just… made Gen want to scream sometimes.

Taking care of the nightshades his mother loved is the only thing keeping him sane in this horrid house. The flowerbed of black nightshades sat just outside of the wooden fence that surrounded the Asagiri estate.

“Tending to the nightshades again?” 

Gen raised his head and curved his lips upward to greet his brother. “Hm? Ah, yes! They seemed like they were in need of watering, so I figured I might as well. Did you need something, Ukyou?”

Ukyou's gaze lingered over the flowers, a frown seeming to be pulling at his lips. “You know mother doesn’t like these flowers…”

Gen made a face, resisting the tempting urge of rolling his eyes. “She only says that because she doesn’t like me coming out here. She says I’m slacking on my chores to take care of them.”

He was met with no argument. “I suppose you’re right… I just don’t like seeing her yell at you for something so simple…”

Gen bent down to pick up the watering can, his expression softening. “It’s fine. She can yell at me all she wants, I’m used to it by now. As long as I’m here, there’s nothing she can do about these flowers, that’s good enough for me.”

Crouching, Ukyou held some of the delicate petals in his hand, he slowed over an unopened bud. 

Gen followed his gaze. “Looks like a dud…”

Ukyou put his hands on his knees, letting go of the bud, and hoisting himself back up. “Maybe it’s just a late bloomer.”

Gen’s eyes scanned back over the dud. “I doubt it, but I guess it’s possible… We’ll just have to see.” Gen looked back at Ukyou, his expression more serious. “What did you come out here for?”

Ukyou raised his eyebrows as if realizing he had forgotten his original purpose for coming out. “Father wanted to speak with you.”

Gen’s gaze darkened. “Did he now?”

Ukyou nods, after a few moments of silence between the two, he turned around and began walking back to the house before the awkwardness got to him.

Gen set the watering can to the side and dusted off his haori. He supposed making himself at least a little presentable was the least he could do. Though chances were his father would find something to belittle him for anyway.

The hall was quiet save for the thud of Gen’s quiet footsteps. 

The silence of such a large house was eerie, but Gen had long since grown used to it. So used to it that he knew the footsteps approaching from around the corner belonged to his Lady Saionji, his stepmother.

Her face immediately contorted into one of disgust when she saw him. “Ugh, you look filthy! Don’t tell me you were in that ugly garden again… Are you really going to meet with your father in such a sorry state? Disgusting… It’s a wonder how he’s allowed you to stay here this long.”

Gen furrowed his eyebrows. “Ah, stepmother… Good to see you’re the same as ever,” a taunting glint in his eye as he spoke.

This only proved to irritate her. As he intended. “You brat! Are you mocking me?”

Gen feigned innocence by tilting his chin and pouting his lips. “What? No, I’d never! Anyway, as much as I'd love to stick around and chat with you, I have been summoned by father, so I must be off.”

Gen scooted past her and continued down the hall, he could feel her eyes glaring into the back of his head until he was out of sight. This, he chose to ignore.

Gen arrived to his father’s office door with haste. “Father, you wanted to speak with me?”

He heard the gruff voice of his father reply on the other side of the door. “Come in.”

With invitation, he slid open the door and closed it behind him as he sat on the floor across from his father. 

“At this time tomorrow, you will come here. Be sure to look presentable.” His tone lingers over the last word as his scrutinizing eyes scanned over his current state; covered in dirt and mud.

“Very well, is that all?”

His father mumbled a hum before he spoke again. “Your hands are filthy.”

If Gen were younger, he probably would’ve flinched from his father’s harsh tone. “Yes, I was tending to the garden.”

An exasperated sigh left his father. “How many times have I told you that your assigned chores are top priority? I don’t need you wasting your time on some worthless plants while you could be doing something productive.”

“I just figured our house would appear most presentable as a whole if—“

“I don’t care what you do in your free time, but I will not tolerate you slacking on your chores for it. Is that understood?” His father’s aura had Gen’s head practically glued down, unable to look up.

“Yes, father.” Gen gritted his teeth. With all the chores he’s given, he barely has any time to himself by the time he’s done.

“You are dismissed.” His father returned to the papers that laid in front of him as if Gen no longer existed as soon as he was finished with him.

Gen bowed, turning heel to take his leave. “By the way, father… if it’s not too much to ask, may I have a new haori?”

His father’s stare was intense enough for Gen to urge him to back down. “What’s wrong with the one you have?”

Gen frowned. His father was either acting clueless or trusted Gen enough to catch onto his dismissal. He wouldn't bite. “It’s just that the one I have is getting worn out.” The usual feigned confidence in his tone faltered.

“It seems fine to me.”

Gen’s mouth opened to talk back, but he ultimately decided against it. After taking a small breath, he nodded. “I see, I guess it can’t be helped then… You have to save money to get Ukyou some new ones, right? I totally understand.” Gen paused when his father turned his attention back to the papers he had been working on. “…Though I’d hate to listen to more people talk negatively about our family for seeing the head’s son wearing clothing akin to peasant rags, but it just can’t be helped.”

Ready to step out, his father spoke again. “Wait,” a slight smirk grew on Gen’s lips.

Gen turned back, a false anticipation on his face. “What is it?”

“Fine… You can get one. Just one. And it must be under ¥15,925. But don’t think this trick will work again, I know exactly what you’re doing.” His father acted as if the words were being forced out by a knife to his neck; Gen found it rather amusing. Like providing his son with basic necessities was such an inconvenience to him.

Gen’s lips twitched as he bowed his head. “Thank you, father.” Finally, he left and his thoughts were free to calm.

How stingy… He thought.

•••

Despite the clouds in the sky which hid away the warm, offending rays of sunlight, Gen still chose to sit under a large tree's shade next to the west entrance.

It’s not like he was interested in working himself to death here… Breaks never hurt anyone, did they?

Gen allowed himself to zone out, his eyes attaching themselves to the broom he had been using minutes prior with disinclination.

“Gen!”

Blinked out of his trance, raised his head to the new voice—no, not new. Familiar. Very familiar.

“Gen, there you are! I was starting to consider asking Ukyou where you were!” 

The man’s pace became faster. As usual, his dirty blonde hair was worn down. Oh, but his kimono did seem to be new based on its still resilient pristine fabric. It was a shame his hat never went with anything he wore, yet he somehow always managed to pull it off anyway.

Gen’s eyes lit up in unadulterated delight as he rolled onto his feet and practically materialized in front of the man. “Ryusui! Hey, good to see you! I wasn’t expecting to see you today. Weren’t you busy?”

Ryusui laughed, scratching the back of his neck matter-of-factly. “I was able to convince my old man to let me roam free today.”

Gen nodded. “I see… What made you want to drop by?”

Ryusui seemed hesitant to answer at first. “I just wanted to see you, that’s all.”

Gen felt his cheeks heat up and averted his eyes. “Oh, is that so?” He managed to play it off while simultaneously trying to hide his sudden nervousness. This wasn’t a challenge to him. “Well, I’m glad… I was beginning to get bored anyway.”

He lost himself in those chocolate shaded eyes more often then not, until he realized what those same eyes had locked onto behind him. Following, it led to the now abandoned broom. “Were they making you work again?” There wasn’t even an attempt from Ryusui to hide his irritation.

Gen shrugged. “It’s fine, I’m used to it by now—“

Ryusui effectively shut his mouth in how suddenly his hands gripped his shoulders. “It’s not fine. Don’t downplay it. You’re their child and they treat you worse than a servant… It’s sickening.”

Gen was glad Ryusui took his shoulders instead of his hands, because if he did he could tell they were sweating profusely right now.

“One day I’ll get you out of here, Gen.”

A smile crept its way onto his lips. He pushed his hair out of his face. “Then I look forward to it.”

Ryusui took a step back and glanced the yard haphazardly. “Do you wanna take a walk with me?”

Gen pretended to consider for a moment before nodding his head. “Sure, why not?”

As expected, Ryusui never failed to keep the conversation going. Every time the current topic would begin to get dry, he’d start talking about a new one. That guy must have a lot stored in there.

Gen appreciated that trait about Ryusui. Sage to say the walk was not boring.

Maybe it was odd considering how different their personalities and interests were, but Gen never got sick listening to him talk.

After a while, Gen had grown so used to his voice that it became calming to listen to. A hypnotic hymn he sometimes referred to it on his head, not that he’d ever let the other know that. His teasing about it would never stop.

Though if you asked Gen to repeat anything Ryusui just said in the last however-many minutes, he wouldn’t be able to.

The second Nanami son always shined with such enthusiasm and brilliance, honest to a fault. A truly earnest man.

That was probably the thing Gen admired the most.

That’s not to say it was the only thing Gen admired about him. There were many thinks to like. His eyes stayed locked on to Ryusui’s to his lips. Then trailed down his body before landing on the small bag that he had been carrying around since he arrived.

“What’s in there?”

He grinned, slipping his arm around Gen smoothly. “I’ll show you when we get there!” Gen didn’t even need to see himself to know that his face was flushed. Usually he’s better than this.

“Huh?! Um, well I was unaware we had a specific destination in mind!” As a mentalist, Gen was able to keep his shaky voice steady with about as much ease as possible.

“Don’t worry, it’s just up here!” Ryusui’s hand traveled down to grab Gen’s, dragging him along.

“Is it really necessary to drag me—?” Gen grew quiet, his mouth still open when he spotted a small little family resting beneath a small tree. 

Ryusui smiled and took them closer, a shine like he was more excited than him. “I found them here the other day, but she didn’t have babies before until I checked this morning!” 

Gen bent down, still keeping his distance so as to not scare the small creatures away. “You brought me here to see a little family of kittens?” 

Ryusui followed Gen’s lead, taking it farther to actually reach out for the mother cat. She kindly accepted the pets. “What, you don’t like it?”

“No, I like it,” Gen quickly replied. 

Hearing that, Ryusui gently picked up one of the six kittens and put it into Gen’s arms. Gen, not expecting it, nearly dropped the poor thing. The only thing keeping him from doing so was the small ‘meow’ the kitten made.

His reaction seemed to amuse the other man. “What, it’s not like it’s gonna eat you!”

Gen held the kitten close to his chest. “I wasn’t expecting that! You can’t just shove a small kitten into my arms all of a sudden…”

Ryusui sat all the way down as a few kittens meandered towards him before making their assault. 

He opened the small bag and pulled out a small treat, feeding each of the kittens one by one. After making sure each kitten got one or two, he held out the bag for Gen.

Gen snickered. “I never imagined our first date would be feeding a family of stray cats!” He teases, reaching into the bag and feeding the eager kitten in his arms. He pretended not to notice the blush on Ryusui’s face.

”Yeah, well what can I say! I’m just as generous as I am greedy.”

“That’s the first I’ve heard of that…” Gen pauses. “So what’s going to happen to the kittens? I wouldn’t feel right if we just left them here to fend for themselves…” he says. Ryusui’s smile didn’t falter.

“I’m going to take them home obviously! I’ll have Francois and my servants help take care of them!” 

He tilts his head, wondering if he just heard correctly. “Are you serious? I’m not too sure your father will take too kindly to that…”

Ryusui chuckled, completely nonchalant about the current small army of kittens beginning to climb onto him. “I desire it, so it shall happen! I’m sure Francois would be happy to take care of them as well.”

Back down to the kitten in his arms, he spoke with soft pity. “I think Francois is busy enough, but if it’s what you want, there’s no stopping you.”

The other took his shoulder. “Trust me, Francois really won’t mind. And if my father really has an issue with them, I’ll just have my brother deal with him!”

“Of course you will…” 

They grew quiet suddenly, which threw Gen off at the change. Under Ryusui’s intense gaze, he could hear his heart beginning to speed up. Luckily only he and probably the kitten against his chest could hear it.

“What, is there something on my face?” Gen asked.

Ryusui shook his head, a fond expression growing on his face. “No, I was just thinking about how that kitten is almost as cute as you.”

Gen’s entire body freezes while his face burns. Gen hung his head low to hide his face which only made Ryusui laugh more. “You can’t just say things like that… I might just believe them.”

“Why not? It makes you happy, and I desire to make you happy! And they are true, so you should believe them.”

He raised his head only slightly, peeking through the white strands of his hair. “That’s so cheesy.”

“Believe me, Gen…” The sudden seriousness in Ryusui’s tone immediately dissipated Gen’s embarrassment. “I’m going to get you out of that house one way or another, I’ll make sure you’re happy.”

The air around them grew tense for a few minutes. The tension was comfortable, Gen could see Ryusui’s resolve set in stone, unwavering.

“Okay.”

Ryusui nods before gathering the four kittens on him into his arms. Gen’s expression changed into one of puzzlement. “…What are you doing?”

“I’m taking them home!” Ryusui grabbed the other kitten on the ground. Then turned to Gen like he was expecting something. It only took a few seconds for Gen to realize what he wanted.

“Oh, uh… Here you go then,” Gen handed the kitten in his arms to Ryusui. He had to admit, seeing six kittens in the arms of Ryusui wasn’t something he was ever expecting to see, but it was quite amusing and he’ll be sure to save this image in his mind.

“Alright! Francois should be around here somewhere. Pick up the mom and let’s go!”

And that was how Gen ended up aiding the migration of a small family of cats with Ryusui for half an hour. Until they finally rounded the corner and spotted the butler they had been searching for. 

“Francois!” Ryusui shouted.

Gen immediately shushed him, gesturing to the kittens who most likely didn’t appreciate the noise.

Francois came over, confusion quickly seeping through their usual acquiescent expression. “Young Master, what is… going on here?”

“They’re going to live with us,” he answered as if the answer was as clear as glass.

Francois looked between Ryusui and Gen, then between each cat. “I’m not sure if your father—“

Ryusui raised an eyebrow, completely oblivious to Francois’s inner turmoil.

“Very well…” They turned to Gen. “Please allow me to take her off your hands,” he let Francois remove the cat from his arms, offering them an apologetic look.

When Gen noticed the street lights were beginning to light up the roads, he looked up at the sky. “It’s getting dark, I should really head home…”

Ryusui turned to him, frowning. “I didn’t realize… Sorry, Gen. You should really get going.”

Gen gave them quick waves before beginning his short walk back home, his pace got faster with every step. The cobble roads thudded quieter, alerting any creature close enough that someone was nearby. The blue sky faded into a mix of black as the earth spun further away from the light. By the time he made it to the tall fences of his home, the change was much more prominent. Gen had been in such a rush that he nearly got a splinter when he came back in through the wooden gate.

“Gen, there you are!” Ukyou stepped outside, observing Gen’s current state.

Gen took a moment to catch his breath. “Yeah, I’m sorry… I got a little tied up with something.”

His brother sighed, patting him on the back playfully. “Nevermind that, I’m just glad you’re okay. You disappeared and I couldn’t find you in the garden…”

Gen raised an eyebrow, a teasing look on his face. “Oh? Were you worried about little ‘ole me?”

Ukyou let out a breath. “I knew you were probably fine, but still… If mother or father noticed you were gone, I don’t even want to know how they would’ve reacted…”

He feels like he’s forgetting something… Oh, that’s right. His chores! He’s always been so good about those, what’s wrong with him today?! 

Noticing the panic beginning to form on his face, Ukyou spoke again. “Hey, don’t worry about your chores. I took care of them while you were gone.”

“Eriously-say?”

A nod. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble. Don’t worry, they won’t know it was me. I made sure no one saw. You should go get cleaned up before they get suspicious.”

Gen looked down at himself, suddenly realizing that yes, his appearance was indeed unsightly. His clothes were covered in dirt and cat hair and he was sweating from the rush back. “Damn cats…”

•••

Evening had fallen, the time servants were starting to head home. After chopping up the carrots, Gen added the mirepoix into the steaming soup.

“Master Gen, are you sure you have dinner tonight?” The elderly woman’s concern was evident in her eyes.

Gen gave her a nod and a reassuring smile. “Yeah, don’t worry about it! You just head home for the day.” Because I know stepmother would just yell at you if you stayed.

The woman gave Gen a respectful bow and left the room. After she was gone, Gen relaxed his body, staring into the simmering bubbles of the soup.

When it was done, Gen poured it into four bowls, picking one to set to the side.

However, the door bursting open along with a loud voice caused him to flinch. Understandably so. “Gen! What’s taking you so long?!”

The bowl nearly slipped from his hand, but to his credit, he managed to set it down safely.

How strange, it was unlike his Lady Saionji to go out of her way to see Gen, even with how impatient she is. And her aggression usually wasn’t so… unprompted? Yeah, he’ll go with that.

“Did you eed-nay anything, Lady Saionji?”

She rolled her eyes. “Where were you?”

Gen raised an eyebrow in confusion, though he had a feeling he knew what she was talking about. “What do you mean?”

She took a step forward, grabbing a fistful of Gen’s hair which caused him to gasp. His mouth snapped shut.

“Don’t play dumb with me, boy! Just how highly do you think of yourself?! You have a lot of nerve subjecting MY Ukyou to YOUR chores!”

Ah, so she had seen… It must have been a servant who told her. That, or she had seen it from far away. Ukyou would’ve heard her had she seen up close.

“I didn’t subject him to anything—“

Her grip tightened, Gen winced and struggled to keep himself upright. “Don’t lie to me! I bet you went out to see that greedy little rich boy from the Nanami House, didn’t you?!”

Anger rose in Gen’s chest. “Hey! Don’t you talk about him like that! And get off of me!” Gen shoved her once, twice, until she was off.

Now she looked both livid and stunned as if she genuinely didn’t expect Gen to fight back. That was his mistake.

“You brat! You’ll pay for that!” She screamed, more furious than Gen had ever seen her before. It made him go still, just for a second, but in that second, she had snatched one of the steaming bowls set aside and threw it straight at him.

He let out a strained shriek as the boiling liquid spread over his arm, emitting sizzling pops and causing a grotesque burn.

Gen gritted his teeth as his stepmother stepping away from him. 

“Ugh, how disgusting! You’re such a clumsy child. Maybe if you were more competent, that wouldn’t have happened in the first place.” She grimaced when she saw the burn. “Know your place in this home. Now hurry it up, your father is getting impatient,” she walked to the door and paused. “And that’s Lady Asagiri to you. I don’t care if you don’t accept me as apart of this family, quite frankly, you’re the one I don’t accept as apart of this family, but you will address me with respect.”

And with that, she left, shutting the door behind her, leaving Gen gripping at his arm and sinking to the floor in pain.

His nails clawed into the wooden boards, anything to keep himself from screaming.

It hurt so bad, worse than any physical pain he’s ever felt before.

But even then, he’d rather his entire arm had been burned than to have been subjected to hear Lady Asagiri’s cruel mockery.

Keeping his father waiting will only prove to irritate him further. Best to get going as soon as possible.

Gen trudged through the hall, three trays in hand. It took a bit of effort to keep his left arm still, but he managed. It was shaking, but still enough to do its job.

“May I come in?” Gen spoke, his tone void of anything.

Donning his mask perfectly.

“You may,” he heard his father respond.

Gen slid the door open part way with his elbow, opening it the rest of the way with his foot. There, in the dining room, he saw his father, Lady Asagiri, and Ukyou sitting at the table.

His father wore his usual eyebags, not bothering to look up from his newspaper. Meanwhile, Gen could pinpoint the moment Ukyou spotted the bandage on his arm.

“Gen… what happened to your arm?” He questioned.

His father looked up from his newspaper, eyes glazing over Gen’s arm. Lady Asagiri glared at him, a warning of sorts.

“An accident in the kitchen.”

His father’s eyes darkened before returning back to the paper. “I see, be careful next time.”

“I will.”

His father knew he was lying, but couldn’t care enough to do anything about it. In fact, he was sure everyone knew fully well what happened. Yet no one made a single mention of it.

Not a single person said anything.

No one did anything.

No one ever did anything.

Even Ukyou, who was clenching his fists under the table and scowling at his mother, was too scared to say anything.

Gen couldn’t blame him for that. He was scared too.

He had just grown so used to it, it’s become as easy as breathing to hide.

Maybe Gen could convince Ryusui to get his older brother out of this home instead of himself. He certainly deserved it more.

Ukyou had a kind soul and was surrounded by people with black hearts. 

Gen couldn’t help but wonder if Ukyou would ever grow to be as alone as he was. He hoped not, because at that point he wouldn’t be able to help.

Once you reach that point of utter loneliness and helplessness, there’s no getting out of it.

You get trapped forever, with no way out. 

It becomes absolutely suffocating, and you drown in your sorrows, desperately attempting to claw your way out of the ever growing dark hole beneath you.

It’s only until you accept it that it becomes easier to live, even if just by a little.

“Lady Kohime tells me you were mocking her earlier,” his father began, though he didn’t bother raising his eyes so Gen wasn’t sure if he was really meant to listen or not. “Please try to be respectful, our family doesn’t need another reason to be embarrassed by you.”

“My apologies, father.”

“Apologize to her.” His father spoke in a hoarse and stern tone.

Gen turned his gaze to Lady Asagiri. “My apologies, Lady Asagiri.”

A smirk grew on her lips. “It’s quite alright, Gen, sweetie. Just try to be better next time.”

Gen set the food down at the table each to its designated recipient, standing back once he was done. “I think I’d like to spend the rest of the night in my room if that’s alright.”

His father waved him off. “Very well.”

•••

Gen entered his room with a candle and dropped the bag of medical supplies he brought with him onto the floor.

He slid down the wall until he was sitting. 

For several minutes, he didn’t move. He simply stared across at the wall on the other side of the dimly lit room. He wasn’t given any windows. The candle was his only form of light here.

He’s not sure if he can take another day of this.

It’s not a truth he liked to think about often, but on days like this, the thoughts came all too easily.

He had already reached his breaking point long ago, he’s simply going through the motions now.

Sometimes he thinks he’s dead.

Or that this was some kind of punishment. But he just didn’t know what for. He’s spent countless nights trying to think of what he had done to deserve this life.

After a while, he came to the conclusion that he’s simply cursed.

That, for whatever reasons, he was cursed.

That he’s being punished for existing.

And after today, maybe he’s finally starting to accept the fact that he deserves it.

The only thing that was able to get Gen to fall asleep that night was by crying his eyes out silently.

By curling up in his futon, trying to ignore the burning pain in his arm. To ignore the self-deprecating thoughts that continuously plagued his mind.

Every moment of every day.

•••

It was rare moment like these, moments where he needed his brain to shut off, where he appreciated his chores.

While the other women in the kitchen worked on various things such as cleaning the oven or washing the dishes, Gen kept himself glued to a particular spot on the floor.

He scrubbed away for what felt like hours at a stubborn stain.

Luckily, since he was ambidextrous, he still had one hand he could use for simple tasks. Not that it was his left hand itself that was damaged, but any attempt at moving it spread pain up to his arm and it wasn’t worth it.

“Master Gen, are you doing alright? I heard you burned your arm last night…” The servant woman from yesterday stood over him, a look of worry in her face.

“Hm? Oh, don’t worry, I’m fine! It was just a small burn.”

He could see the guilt on her face. “I shouldn’t have left… Or else you wouldn’t have—“

“Hey, it’s not your fault! I was just being clumsy, it would’ve happened either way. You shouldn’t blame yourself for such things,” Gen gave her a small smile.

She seemed hesitant, but nodded. “If you insist… Master Gen, you truly are so kind.”

That’s when Gen realized the other two servant girls had been watching the exchange. He could see their expressions ranging from appreciation to admiration to pity.

He supposed it couldn’t be helped, the circumstances in this house were unlike anything one would usually see in other houses.

No one usually saw one of the head’s children being constantly ridiculed.

No one usually saw one of the head’s children working as a servant by age twelve.

Gen really did wish they continued to pretend he didn’t exist. 

The door slowly slid open, the servants raised their heads, Gen kept his down. “Master Ukyou! What brings you here?” That caused Gen to finally look up to the door.

Ukyou’s eyes seemed to wander around the room until they landed on Gen. “Gen! We have a meeting with father.”

It seems Gen’s mind has been so occupied that he’s completely forgotten that he was supposed to meet with his father at this time. Great, now his father just has another reason to insult him. Leave it up to Gen to dig himself into an even deeper hole.

“Oh, my! It seems I’ve completely orgotten-fay!” Gen forced a smile onto his face.

Ukyou’s eyes softened as he borrowed a rag from one of the servants and approached Gen, wiping his cheek. “You have soot on your face…”

Gen placed his hand over the rag, leaving Ukyou to remove his hand and take a step back. 

He lowered his face to keep it hidden while he scrubbed away at his cheek harshly. How embarrassing, his cheeks went red. 

At least Ukyou was kind enough to not let him humiliate himself.

“Tell father I’ll be right there!” Gen springs up in a rush to get to his room and put on something more presentable.

“Alright, just… try to be quick, okay?”

“You got it!” Gen grinned as he squeezed past him.

•••

He could feel the dread grow strong with each step he grew closer to the sliding door of his father’s office.

Gen stood at the door and opened his mouth to speak, but something held him back.

What could this meeting possibly be about?

Gen wracks his brain trying to come up with some kind of explanation, but nothing plausible comes to mind. 

That’s when he recalled a conversation from when he overheard two of the servants speaking the other day.

“Did you hear? Apparently Lord Asagiri has been speaking with other house heads about something…”

“Really? What could it be?” The other would reply with curiosity.

“Do you think they could be arranging marriage for one of the young masters?”

Marriage.

Arranged marriage. Could that really be what this meeting is about? Just the thought made Gen’s heart speed up.

He knows if it is, it won’t be good.

Please don’t be true.

Please don’t be true.

“Are you going to come in or are you going to continue to stand there like some sort of statue?” His father’s voice made Gen flinch.

It seems he’s been noticed. Having been caught, Gen slid into the room and shut the door behind him. “Ah, I apologize, father! I was just curious about what—“ 

Gen froze mid sentence when he noticed who else was in the room.

Across from his father, was his older brother Ukyou, and Ryusui. “Ryusui…?” Gen mumbled, he could feel his adrenaline spike.

“Please sit down,” his father ordered. Gen listens without another word.

Marriage arrangements… and Ryusui’s here? No, I shouldn’t get my hopes up is what Gen tried to tell himself, yet he knew his heart had already betrayed him.

Ukyou and Ryusui looked equally as nervous. Could it be possible they already knew what his father would say?

Those pained expressions they wore weren’t reassuring in the least.

Gen tightened his fists, keeping them glued onto his legs. 

“Nanami Ryusui will be the new head of the Asagiri House via marriage. As a son in law, one of you will be marrying him.”

Gen’s breath hitched, he was almost positive his heart was beating loud enough that everyone in the room could hear it despite the calm facade he kept up.

“The son that will be marrying Nanami Ryusui will be Ukyou.”

Gen could see Ryusui and Ukyou looking at him in his peripheral, he didn’t bother looking back. He didn’t have to see their faces to know they were looking at him with pity.

Once again, everything has come crashing down.

He doesn’t know what he expected, he should be used to this by now.

But still… It hurt so bad.

All sounds became distant, echoing, ringing in his ears. The world around him was dark. It was gray and he had grown used to seeing it without color.

But even the hope to be able to see it one day was enough to keep him going.

And now it’s been taken straight from him, just like everything else.

All hope was broken in his chest. Why did he bother hoping? He knew this would happen. He thought he knew better than this.

He spent years learning not to hope, and yet…

Hope only makes you hurt worse when it’s destroyed, that was a lesson Gen knew all too well.

“Gen, you will be marrying into the Ishigami Family.”

Gen almost hurt his neck with how quickly he snapped his head up. “What?!”

“Wait, Mr. Asagiri… you can’t!” Ryusui said, the volume of his voice rising.

“Father, please! You can’t send him to—“

“Please be quiet,” his father shot a silencing glare at Ukyou before focusing his attention back on Gen. “You will be leaving first thing in the morning with an escort. Gather your things and say your goodbyes. Is that understood?”

Gen felt like a dam about to burst. He’s tried to hard and yet here he is again, unable to say anything worth saying. “Yes, father.”

“Gen…” He heard Ryusui utter, his voice cracking.

Gen turned onto his feet to run out of the room. He could feel himself slipping, letting anyone see it would just be salt in the wound. 

Worse than the worried voices from Ukyou and Ryusui he could hear shouting from behind him.

He kept running until he could feel mud squishing under his feet. Until he realized his hair along with his clothes were getting soaked from the heavy rain.

Gen stopped to take a few deep breaths.

He didn’t bother turning his head to see whose footsteps the one approaching from behind belonged to.

He already knew which of the two possibilities it was most likely to be.

“Gen…” Ryusui. So he was right. “I’m so sorry! I never wanted this to happen…”

Gen stared at the ground ahead of him, an empty smile forming in his face. “It’s okay, Ryusui. You shouldn’t apologize. I’m used to my bad luck of the draw.”

“It’s not about luck! I’m so sorry… I couldn’t do anything for you.” Gen turned his head enough to see Ryusui’s face. It was hard to see in the rain, but Gen was positive he was crying.

“I never expected to end up anywhere good anyway. It could’ve been worse…” Gen paused. “I’ve already become one of the most shallow people around, so I’ll be okay.”

“You’re not shallow, Gen! I know you aren’t!” Gen hadn’t realized Ryusui had gotten closer until his shoulders were grabbed and he was forced to face him.

“Ryusui…” 

“All I’ve ever wanted… was to be with you, Gen!” Ryusui confesses. “You’re the one I wanted to marry…!” 

Gen could feel his own eyes going blurry. 

“I’ve been able to have anything I’ve ever wanted, so why can’t I have this one thing?!” Ryusui took a step back and looked around him for anything to hit, he settled for kicking the ground. “DAMMIT!”

He did it again. “Dammit, dammit, dammit—!“ 

He immediately stopped when Gen wrapped his arms around him. “Please, Ryusui…” He stuttered, his voice shakier than Ryusui had ever heard before. “Please, just stop… It’s okay.”

“It’s not…”

“It’s okay…”

“Did you not hear your father? Gather your things, you leave first thing tomorrow!” That cruel voice shouted from the safety of the house. She was enjoying this.

Gen left Ryusui standing there as he headed for his room. 

That smirk spread across Lady Asagiri’s face was something Gen would never forget.

•••

“Is that all you’re taking with you, Master Gen?” The servant seemed saddened by the small bag Gen held.

“Yes. I don’t have much of anything else to bring anyway. Plus, I’d rather not carry around a large amount of things,” he replied. In the hall, Gen already bid farewell to his room.

She pondered on a thought. “I hear Master Ishigami has had many other engagements in the past…”

Gen raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what happened with those?”

Even though she clearly didn’t want to answer, she did. “Apparently they all left him… They described him as being a cold and heartless man.”

“I see.” Great. Of course I got set up with some jerk… he thought. 

Gen turned his head, a longing gaze lingered out a window. “Can you take my things to the one who’ll be escorting me? I want to do one more thing before I leave.”

She bowed her head, collecting the bag from Gen.

•••

Gen stood over the flowerbed, mouth agape.

He had thought seeing the nightshades one last time would leave him calmer. Instead, every single flower laid still.

Crushed, torn, smooshed. Someone destroyed the black nightshades.

Lady Asagiri truly was a cruel woman.

It didn’t take a genius to know it was her. She was the only one who hated him enough to do this.

His father wouldn’t bother with something like this. Ukyou would never do this and neither would the servants.

“As long as I’m here, there’s nothing she can do about these flowers…”

Gen let out a laugh. “Wow, how petty! Truly, I never thought one person could be so small-minded,” after his laughter subsided, he sighs. “What an ame-shay…”

Then, peeking out from the dirt, Gen spotted a small bit of a flower.

Upon picking it up, he was pleasantly surprised to see it still in good shape. “It seems we have a survivor…” He smiled softly and gazed back down at the flowerbed.

“Goodbye, mother.”

•••

Gen thought Ukyou would never let him go. In fact, it took a servant gently having to coax Ukyou that he finally stopped hugging Gen.

“I understand that you’ll miss me, oh, so much, dear Ukyou, but… you know I have to get going at some point.”

He nodded, a pout on his lips. “Please take care of yourself, Gen.”

He gave Ukyou a pat on the back. “I will.”

“I’m serious, Gen! And if you have trouble, don’t hesitate to come back, alright? Even if mother or father have a problem with it, I won’t let them kick you out!”

Gen heard a huff come from behind him. It was his escort who he learned was named Maya. 

She was a rather large woman… Tall, strong-looking, and a look on her face Gen certainly wouldn’t want to be on the bad side of.

“I should be going now, wouldn’t want to keep my husband-to-be waiting…”

Ukyou frowned, but backed off.

“Let’s get going.” The woman said.

Gen gave her a nod and waved to Ukyou, giving him one last look before following behind the scary woman.

Maya wasn’t the most social person Gen had ever met, but she partook in his insistent small talk which he greatly appreciated. 

It wasn’t a lot, but he’d like to think of anything else.

Anything that’s not where he’s going to be for the rest of his life. He really hopes that this Ishigami guy wasn’t weird or invasive…

Who was Senku Ishigami anyway?

He knew about the Ishigami family, but never cared enough to know much about it.

All he knew is that they were a pretty high status family… Lots of money, lots of influence, things like that.

He better not be some sort of stuck-up brat.

Gen watched the children in the streets pass by, walking beside their mothers. He couldn’t help but feel the hole in his chest yearn for that familiar feeling.

He remembered the day his mother died.

He was still so young, he was still grasping the concept of what death was.

All he had known at the time was that he’d never see his mother again. He wouldn’t hear her voice, see her kind smile, or run to her for comfort when he was sad ever again.

And his father hadn’t even waited a month before planning a wedding ceremony for him and his mistress.

He’s always hated Lady Saionji.

Apparently his father had an affair with her years prior before he was born. After being found out, they were forced to stop seeing each other as his father was already married to his mother.

His father didn’t deserve such a wonderful woman like his mother.

It was only years later when his mother died and Lady Saionji came back that both he and his father learned about Ukyou.

A result of the affair.

Gen met his half brother on the day of his mother’s funeral. He was six then.

He thought he’d hate Ukyou too, but he was so unlike his mother, Gen couldn’t wrap his head around the fact he was related to that wench.

Gen had cried in front of his mother’s framed picture for hours. He had stayed there even after everyone else left.

Not even his father could convince him to leave.

No matter how much he cried, there were always more tears to come.

Until he felt arms wrap around him from behind. He turned around to see Ukyou, a sad smile on his face. 

“Hey, you don’t have to cry… Your mom is in a better place now.”

It was the first hug he had received since his mother passed. For moments, Gen was completely frozen in place unsure of what to do, so he’d let instinct take over. He clinged to Ukyou and cried like he life depended on it. “B-but—!”

“She’s always going to be watching you from the skies.”

Gen was hardly able to speak through his sobs. “H-how?!”

“Because she’s an Angel now… she lives up in the sky.” Ukyou pondered on his words. “…and has the birds watch over you for her. Then, at the end of each day, they’ll go back to her and tell her about everything they saw!” Ukyou put a hand on Gen’s head. “She’ll listen to every detail very carefully… She wouldn’t want you to cry.”

“How do you know…?”

Ukyou smiled down at him. “Do you want to hear a secret?”

Gen nods.

Ukyou leaned down close to Gen and whispered softly. “I can hear them. The birds watching over you. That’s how I know.”

Gen’s eyes lit up in awe as his cries finally ceased. “Who is that other woman?”

Ukyou’s smile fell slightly. “Oh, she’s… She’s my mother. We’re both going to be living here with you and your father.”

“Oh, okay…”

Ukyou muttered under his breath something Gen was sure Ukyou didn’t think he had heard. “Bastard didn’t even wait a month before getting remarried…”

But Gen had heard it.

•••

Gen walked behind Maya on the concrete path until they came across a large gate.

“This is as far as I go.” She said, setting Gen’s bag into his arms.

Gen cocked his head to the side. “…What do you mean?”

She gestured to the gate. “This is the entrance. Just follow the path up and you should find it.”

He blinked before his eyes went wide. “Wait, you mean this is the entrance?! Like… everything on the other side of the gate is Ishigami operty-pray!?”

She nodded.

Gen stared at the gate. Holy crap, they’re rich…

He stood completely still until he realized Maya had opened the gate and was waiting for him to go in.

Hastily, Gen gave her a respectful bow and went inside. He heard the metal gate close behind him, sealing his fate.

As he walked, the path slowly went uphill which only proved to drain more of his spent energy.

“Ugh, why must it be all the way up here…” His words trailed off as he saw a building not that far off to his left.

It seemed well built, traditional. However, it was far too small to be a house. In fact, it probably only had enough space for two fairly spacious rooms.

There also seemed to be different kinds of equipment around it in sporadic intervals.

Maybe it’s some kind of workspace… I wonder why it’s way out here.

If that was here, then Gen must be close.

As if on cue, Gen spotted both a wooden fence, and the large buildings peeking out from behind it.

With how large the property was, Gen felt that the build up to seeing the actual house was anticlimactic.

Yes, it was big, definitely bigger than the Asagiri property, but all the space around it seemed excessive.

Gen peeked in through the wooden fence.

Through it, he saw a large area taken up by a healthy-looking pond which was surrounded by various flowers that seemed to naturally grow there.

Closer to the front door were some other flowerbeds less natural.

Someone had to be caring for those ones…

A traditional Japanese noble home Gen could tell had many rooms and corridors with space to spare. There was probably an even larger garden in the back of the house.

It was nice, but Gen knew that a nice home didn’t mean happiness.

He knew it all too well.

Gen nearly jumped out of his skin when the wooden gate opened and a man came out, a puzzled look on his face.

“Can I help you…?” He said.

Gen had his hand in his chest and quickly recomposed himself. The man didn’t seem much older than him, he even seemed like he could be younger.

He had brown hair which was held up by a headband. His brown eyes stared at him with suspicion, but Gen could tell whoever this was was but a kind soul, one probably easy to manipulate if he wanted to.

“Hello, there! I’m Asagiri Gen and—“

All suspicion dissipated in an instant as the guy’s eyes lit up. “You’re Asagiri Gen?! Baaad!”

“Bad…?”

The guy wore a large, goofy grin. “I’m Chrome! I’m Senku’s friend—I mean, servant-assistant person…!”

Now Gen was even more confused. This guy was even more suspicious than him.

“Follow me, I’ll take you to Senku!” Chrome led Gen to the door before he stopped. “I mean—to Master Ishigami!” He awkwardly chuckled and scratched his neck.

Just say you’re friends… Gen rolled his eyes.

Behind Chrome, he silently observed. The place seemed like a comfortable place to live, aside from the guy he’s to marry.

Not too many things caught Gen’s eye walking through the hall, nothing that stuck out at least.

He did see a painting on the wall. A middle-aged man who wore a suit. His hair was mainly white, fading into turquoise at the tips. 

Please don’t be a middle aged man… His eye twitches as the thought crosses his mind

Though, there was something that seemed rather out of place… On one of the cabinets that lined the wall was a bottle. One that would usually be seen in the hand of a scientist.

Chrome seemed to have noticed Gen staring, and a look of panic appeared on his face.

He snatched the bottle. “Crap! I totally forgot to put this away! I just set it down for a moment…” He looked back to Gen and his lips curved up nervously. “Hey, can you do me a favor and not tell Se—the master about this?”

Gen put his hands up, giving Chrome his signature charismatic smile. “Of course! I won’t tell a soul,” not like he has anyone to tell anyway…

Chrome’s tense shoulders seemed to relax as he let out a long sigh. “Okay, good. This way!”

And with that Chrome continued on. Gen just wished he wouldn’t walk so fast…

Just when Gen thought he had lost the man when he turned the corner, he was met with Chrome who stood waiting at a door.

“Master Ishigami!” Chrome began, Gen could tell the formal title was forced. “Asagiri Gen has arrived.”

A voice answered from the other side. “Send him in.”

It doesn’t sound like a middle aged man… Gen felt relief. He might’ve actually ran away if that were the case.

Chrome turned to Gen and slid open the door.

When Gen looked in, he saw a man faced away from the door. He wore a dark green haori around a darker colored blue kimono. Of course, that wasn’t what Gen was paying attention to the most.

What he couldn’t seem to take his eye off of was the man’s hair.

It was stuck up, completely defying the laws of gravity. Like the man in the picture, his hair was mainly white, except the tips were more green. He kind of looked like a leek.

Gen almost snickered, but managed to hold himself back.

There’s no losing this guy in a crowd, that’s for sure. Gen stepped into the room and sat down, bowing his head.

“I am Asagiri Gen from the Asagiri House… Are you Ishigami Senku?”

The man turned his head to look at Gen, causing Gen to still. 

Gen’s not sure if he’s ever seen such eyes before… Ishigami Senku’s eyes were a deep crimson color. One that could pierce your soul if he so chooses.

Eyes that seemed to hold so many thoughts and morals behind them.

They were beautiful, breathtaking even.

But the same couldn’t be said for the words that came from the guy’s mouth. “Tch, so this is the next one dad arranged. And what is up with that weird hair?” That was rich coming from leek head. Just his luck… This guy is a total asshole.

Just kill me now…