Work Text:
“What’s goin’ on?” Buck asked hesitantly when he walked into work and found a circle of fold-out chairs.
“New requirement from the Chief.” Bobby sighed in slight annoyance, grinning when Buck snorted. “Once a month each firehouse has to host a sort of group counseling, rotating through each shift. We, unfortunately, got the first draw. So for now put your things in your locker and come take a seat, where I will explain again, to the whole group, what’s going on for everyone else.”
“Sure thing, Cap.” Buck saluted sloppily, heading for his locker.
“What’d you do this time, Buckley?” Chim grumbled as he entered the locker room. Buck frowned but didn’t answer. They hadn’t exactly interacted since Chim decided to show back up again. As if his presence was his apology for what he did.
“Why do you assume Buck did something?” Hen asked challengingly, arching an unimpressed eyebrow at her best friend. “Maybe this is what Bobby says it is, and the Chief wants us all to share some things to be a closer knit team, making us more successful on calls.”
“I assumed, because usually we get in situations like this because of Buck.” Chim rolled his eyes.
“You know what it means when you assume something.” Hen scoffed. “It makes an ass out of you and me, and the only ass right now is you. Buck, come get some coffee with me.”
“Hen!” Chim shouted after them, but Hen was determinedly walking Buck up to the loft with their arms looped together. Buck let her drag him along until they reached the coffee pot where she got them each a mug.
“Wanna tell me what that was about?” Buck asked quietly, accepting the sugar and creamer that she handed him before doctoring her own cup.
“I know Maddie came to see you when they got back, because Chim called and I went to see him.” Hen sighed heavily, staring into her cup as it changed shades with the added cream. “He said you guys were good, but I know damn well that man does not know how to apologize, so I know he hasn’t called or texted you.”
“Hen,” Buck sighed this time, “I love you, but please try to keep the petty big sister under wraps a little bit so we can get through this?” He smiled when she laughed, her eyes going softer when she finally looked up at him.
“Only because you asked so nicely,” she cupped his cheek and patted it gently before he put their creamer back in the fridge and they made their way back downstairs. “He’s my best friend, so I’m only gonna hold a little grudge for a little while. He was with me for every little thing me and Karen experienced with Denny. Then he finally has a kid and he takes off with her so I don’t get to experience the same things with him. And on top of that, he took it out on my baby brother. He knows I’m like this. He’ll be apologizing to me, a real apology, before the week is over. Maybe even the day.”
“You’re devious, Henrietta Wilson. And I kinda love it.”
“Don’t you forget it.” She winked as they took some seats beside each other. Ravi and Lucy were on Buck’s other side, while Hen had Quintana on her other side. Monday looked a little pissed about their seating arrangement, but Buck and Hen just leaned into each other. “Would you look at that? I thought the only emotion he could show was arrogance.”
“He’s got a hero complex worse than I ever had.” Buck agreed quietly. “I grew out of mine, at least.”
“Your complex was different. You didn’t want recognition for your saves, you just wanted some praise for it, then to move on.” Hen stated, waving her hand.
“Hey, no need to bring kinks into this.” Buck pouted at her.
“You need praise more than just in the bedroom, Buck.” Hen snorted. “You and I both know that.”
“Yeah, that’s fair.” Buck chuckled. He caught a confused look from Eddie when he joined but wasn’t able to sit next to him. The people there had gotten to be a pretty good team together, even with Chim and Eddie missing from it all. Buck wasn’t sure how he felt about Eddie sitting beside Monday, though. “Oh shit, I hope if we have to say his name we remember to call him Jonah.”
“Yeah, we don’t want to be seen as bullying.” Hen groaned with him.
“I do it too.” Ravi whispered, leaning over to them. “Guy kinda gives me the creeps.”
“We can just kick each other if we start to say it wrong?” Lucy offered.
“If we can do it subtly, sure.” Quintana added.
“None of us are exactly known for that.” Hen smirked.
“None of you are known for what?” Bobby asked, pausing as he walked by them and arching an eyebrow at them.
“Filtering brain to mouth.” Buck said without pause, giving Bobby his best innocent smile. It never worked on Bobby, but he wasn’t lying.
“That is frustratingly true.” Bobby chuckled, going to take his seat next to who must have been their assigned counselor. He shook his head as he sat down, apparently repeating what Buck had said, making the man in the wheelchair laugh lightly.
“How do you DO that?” Lucy groaned.
“What?” Buck asked curiously.
“Tell the truth without actually telling someone anything.” She clarified.
“It’s a gift.” Buck sighed, grinning when Hen chuckled, Quintana fist-bumped him and Ravi bit his lip so he wouldn’t laugh. “It’s not hard. You just have to actually believe what you’re saying. Like, it’s the truth, but it’s also not what they were asking. We all do the same thing everyday. Someone asks if we’re fine, or says ‘hey, how’s it going?’, without actually caring about the answer. And we automatically reply ‘fine, you?’ or something like that because it’s the expected answer. It’s something we need to be able to do on calls, too. Like, we need to keep people calm, right? Sometimes the best way to do that is by just talking. Either about their injuries, like Hen does, explaining everything she can see as she goes, or like me, when Bobby inevitably puts me on crowd control or taking care of kids that are there.”
“You get put on crowd control because you’re a big guy.” Lucy argued. “Even if we all know I’d lay someone out before you would.”
“I could.” Buck muttered petulantly. “But it’s like you said; I’m a big guy. Not a lot of people want to go up against me.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to see you get arrested because you were a SEAL and knew what you were doing when it came to subduing someone.” Hen said quietly.
“What?!” Quintana, Ravi, and Lucy all exclaimed.
“What?” Buck frowned.
“You were a SEAL?” Ravi’s voice cracked.
“I was 20.” Buck rolled his eyes. “Seemed like the thing to do at the time.”
“Something you four would like to share with the group?” The guy in the wheelchair asked curiously, quieting the other conversations down.
“Nope.” Buck said at the same time Lucy opened her mouth.
“Buck was a SEAL.” She said, giving him a grumpy look. “Something none of us knew.”
“I thought you didn’t make it.” Bobby said, his face pinched with concern.
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t really at liberty to talk about it until I got out. Which was,” Buck tilted his head for a minute, “a couple months after Maddie announced she was pregnant, actually. Yeah, the end of that summer. So not quite a year by now. But I’m finally officially done.”
“You were a SEAL?” Eddie asked, looking dumbfounded.
“What part of I couldn’t talk about it, does no one understand?” Buck sighed. “Even if I could, I don’t particularly like to. It was a long time ago. As far as anyone knew, that knew me back then, I dropped out and just kept traveling around. I mean, I did travel, just not really the way my sister thinks I did.”
“Why would you lie to your sister?” Chim asked in confusion.
“We are not here because you all suddenly realized you don’t know anything about me from before I started as a firefighter.” Buck redirected. “I’ve been here for nearly seven years and no one ever asked. So let’s please get on with whatever we’re actually meant to be discussing.”
“Good point.” The wheelchair guy said. “Hello, everyone, thank you for coming and for agreeing to participate, however reluctantly. I’m Frank and I’m the mediator for the 118. Lucky me.” Buck couldn’t help snickering at his defeated announcement, his little group snickering with him. Hen smacked his arm because when Buck got laughing, Hen joined in, then they didn’t get anything done. “Our goal here is really just to share some life experiences, get to know one another more, that sort of thing. So I’m going to go with what those four were discussing. Early careers or jobs. What you did when you left home, whether it was going to college, joining the service in some capacity, straight to the fire academy, whatever it is.”
“So, like, what we did around 18 to 20?” Hen asked.
“Sure. Late teens, early 20’s, maybe even mid 20’s to 30's, if you want.” Frank shrugged. “We’ll start with Captain Nash and work our way around.” Buck snickered at Eddie’s annoyed expression. He put a hand on his mouth to keep from laughing harder when Eddie flipped him off without looking. His lips were pursed, though, like he was fighting not to smile either. But then Eddie looked over and their eyes caught and they were both laughing.
“Ok, you two, get it together.” Bobby sighed defeatedly while they slowly stopped laughing. “Well, I started in the fire academy when I was around that age, following family tradition, really. Nothing too exciting for me.”
“What about the figure skating?” Buck cupped his hands to make sure it was loud.
“I will figure out how you found out so much about that.” Bobby pointed at Buck, but Buck smiled back unrepentantly. “I only skated a little into high school, because it was taking up a lot of time and I had other things I wanted to focus on.”
“I joined the Army after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant.” Eddie shrugged. “Needed steady income and everything.”
“He also played on his installation baseball team.” Buck called out, smiling innocently when Eddie gave him a disappointed look. “Third base.”
“Why do I tell you anything?” Eddie sighed exaggeratedly, but he still winked at Buck. “Dad thought college, regardless of sports scholarships, was a waste of time and that to really make it I needed to jump into working right away like he did. But if Buck pulls out my pictures, I’m gonna retaliate.”
“Yeesh, someone got in a fight with Hildy this morning.” Buck muttered. He snorted when Hen spit coffee out and Eddie groaned as he dropped his head on the back of his chair.
“Moving on.” Bobby said, but he was trying not to laugh for Eddie’s sake by making it seem like he was clearing his throat. It was a nice thought, but no one really bought it.
“I went to college, got my paramedic certification.” Monday said, still slightly grinning as he looked between Buck and Eddie in amusement. “Always knew I wanted to help people, so I started pretty early. Graduated when I was 22 and hopped around trying to find a station that I liked.”
“Any luck?” Johnson asked curiously.
“Maybe.” He looked at Hen who studiously avoided him.
“I worked as a PA until one of our film sets got demolished in a mudslide. Decided I could use that as my excuse not to do it anymore and bounced around working as a temp secretary before going to the academy.” Johnson said.
“Where you were constantly pulled aside to help them unfuck their paperwork.” Buck added.
“Someone had to.” She sniffed, grinning at Buck.
“Why does Buck know that?” Bobby asked curiously.
“After the tsunami, he came by the academy occasionally and harassed the instructors about doing a better job with their placements. I was going through at that time.” Johnson shrugged.
“I didn’t harass them.” Buck argued. “But they were putting people afraid of the ocean at stations that consistently responded to calls near the waterfront.”
“They have an office set aside that they can shove him in when he swings by so they can avoid him for the 20 minutes it takes him to get out.” Ravi added, smiling when several people laughed.
“They think they’ll figure out a way to keep me in there longer, but it hasn’t worked yet.” Buck smiled.
“I did a lot of odd jobs, I guess.” Chim said, his head tilted thoughtfully. “I guess … at the time I was … hm. Well, I was working part-time at a karaoke bar, but I was also an entrepreneur. Could never find investors, though. So when the bar burned down, me and Kevin signed up to be firefighters. I changed to paramedic after being here for a year.”
“And he schemed in his free time, hooking me up with his neighbor.” Hen chimed in, like Buck had been doing.
“Who you’ve now been married to for over a decade. You’re welcome.” Chim bowed to her.
“You met Karen,” Buck said carefully, looking over at Chim and then back at Hen, “through Chim? Seriously?”
“Karen was his neighbor and worked crazy hours and did not really tolerate stupid people.” Hen chuckled. “This jackass sets up a time and day for both of us to meet him at a bar and then doesn’t show. It was a terrible first date, only because I couldn’t stop laughing at how Karen came in. She was straight to the point, no bull-shit, I’m a genius, if you can’t handle it, leave now.”
“Ok, that I can see.” Buck snickered. “And Henrietta Wilson was instantly in love.”
“Maybe not instantly, but I did not, and still do not, mind that woman bossing me around.” Hen agreed, making Buck cackle delightedly.
“Again, you’re welcome.” Chim called out, smiling happily at her.
“I went to school for fire science.” Quintana said proudly. “Mom still works as a high school Spanish teacher, but she also does night classes for people working on their citizenship.”
“She is a badass single mom.” Buck agreed, bumping her fists. “But tell her to stop stalking me on insta and asking for my recipes.”
“Not happening.” Quintana laughed. “She’s determined to get that snickerdoodle recipe out of you one day.”
“He is NOT sharing that.” Eddie cut in. “I have no idea how he got my Abuela to give it to him, but he’s not allowed to share. Diaz family secret.”
“Yeah, sorry, but Isabel Diaz is not gonna be disappointed in me.” Buck agreed.
“I wasn’t doing anything interesting before becoming a paramedic.” Hen shrugged. “I worked as a pharmaceutical sales rep, and they always called me in when the men my boss was trying to net were very obviously sexist and racist to some degree because, for reasons I do NOT want to know, these men liked being put in their place by me. My sales were phenomenal, though.”
“Champion softball player, too.” Buck said, fake coughing into his hand and smiling when she swatted his arm. “Won her high school championships and even played in college, going to nationals.”
“You’re still not getting pictures from me, and Ma has been sworn to keep any she might have from you.” Hen rolled her eyes.
“I’ll get one someday.” Buck promised. “Alright, my turn.” Buck stood up, grinning when there were several groans. “My name is Evan Alexander Buckley, I’m a Cancer, I am almost 30 years old, and-”
“Oh god, you’re a horoscope girl.” Lucy groaned playfully.
“Excuse you,” Buck cleared his throat, “as I was saying, I played football a little at community college before my sister gave me her car keys and started me off on my tour across the country. I did some handy work here and there for gas money, before landing in a recruiting office and signing on to try the SEAL training that was coming up. Went into the Reserve when I got done so I continued to bounce around unless I had something I had to be at the unit for. Worked on a ranch in Montana, bars in pretty much every state, worked construction, road work, even did a substitute teaching gig because the teacher was out with shingles or something and they literally had no one else. Worked as a mechanic here and there when I drove down to Peru where I worked in a resort bar before landing in LA and joining the academy.”
“Sounds like you held a lot of jobs.” Frank said interestedly.
“Had to.” Buck shrugged, sitting back down. “All I had when I left home were the clothes on my back and in my duffle and maybe a couple hundred bucks cash. I lived in that jeep for around five years before getting a share-house with some guys I met in Peru that convinced me to come to LA and go through the academy with them. Even though I was the only one to make it through.”
“You didn’t get a motel or something?” Eddie frowned.
“Motels cost money, Eddie.” Buck snorted. “I’d rather spend the little money I had on food or gas. Got a campsite now and again, so I could stay in a tent and have a fire and all that. Be able to stretch out more.”
“You were homeless.” Bobby said sadly.
“I mean, technically.” Buck frowned.
“Your parents didn’t check on you?” Lucy asked curiously.
“No.” Buck scoffed. “They couldn’t stand me being in the house, so when I left they completely cut me off. The first time I talked to them or saw them in a decade after leaving Pennsylvania was when Maddie told me they were already in LA to see her and Chim because they were having a baby.”
“She never mentioned that.” Chim said quietly.
“Why would she?” Buck frowned. “She didn’t know, not that she asked. Maddie had and still has a different relationship with them. They love her, not me. Only now I know why. It’s not a big deal, let’s just keep going.”
“What do you mean you know why now?” Ravi frowned.
“You were saved by a bone marrow donation.” Buck said slowly. “Someone was a match and donated bone marrow so you could beat your childhood cancer.”
“Yeah.” Ravi said, still frowning.
“Think … think ‘My Sister’s Keeper’.” Buck swallowed a little thickly. “Only my older brother, Daniel, who I never knew, didn’t survive because he died before I was old enough to donate more than my stem cells or bone marrow. I was … I was engineered. I wasn’t chosen or born into a loving family. I was made to save a brother I don’t remember ever meeting. And my family kept it a secret for nearly all my life. They probably would still be keeping it if Maddie hadn’t shown me her baby box where there was a picture of Daniel in it. So my parents hate me because I couldn’t save the son they wanted.”
“Oh my god.” Ravi said, breathing a little heavily, burying his face in his hands and trying to hold himself together. Buck put an arm around him and tried to offer comfort.
“You don’t talk about your cancer, and I don’t talk about the one that hit my family.” Buck said gently. “He was eight, almost nine, when he died. So as much as they say he was going to be a doctor, I purposely think the opposite. He would learn that they had me just to heal him and he would do all the things they never wanted him to do. So to them, he could have been Daniel Buckely, MD, but I’m sticking with him being one of those overly dramatic TV doctors just to piss them off and make me laugh.”
“You’re terrible.” Ravi snorted, before he was shaking from laughing, making Buck smile.
“Your turn.” Buck encouraged. Ravi took a few deep breaths and sat up again, leaning into Buck a little, a sign he wasn’t ready for Buck to let go just yet.
“I got my Bachelors and Masters in Economics and Finance Management.” Ravi said, clearing his throat a little more as his voice cracked slightly. “Needed something to do when I wasn’t managing my properties and sort of just found myself at the academy. I, uh, went most of my probationary year being bounced around from mentor to mentor, because things kept coming up or whatever. Then, someone had the bright idea to bring me to A-shift and sic Buck on me.”
“You’re welcome.” Bobby grinned unrepentantly.
“Don’t get me wrong, he’s great and knows the job inside and out. But it was hard going from barely having one person to being this weirdo’s sole focus.” Ravi ducked away when Buck ruffled his hair. “He was intense because he cared, and I got that. Eventually. He’s been a great partner.”
“And Ravi-”
“No.” Ravi slapped a hand over Buck’s mouth. “I don’t know where you’re going with that, but you’re not sharing an embarrassing fact about me like you have everyone else. Lucy’s turn.”
“I joined when I went through the fire science program, following the family tradition, even if I was the first girl to do so. My brothers are firefighters, so are my dad and uncles.”
“Her niece is a killer cornerback.” Buck added, since Ravi had finally let go of his mouth when Buck licked his hand.
“She’s pretty determined to be able to get you down at least once.” Lucy pointed at him. “She likes that you don’t hold back.”
“Holding back isn’t gonna help her be the first woman playing in the NFL.” Buck snorted. “I’ll help get her there, though.”
“Just maybe next time don’t drag me into the drills. I was aching for days after.” Lucy grumbled.
“Something I find interesting,” Frank said, drawing everyone’s attention to him, “is that somehow Buck knows some little tidbit about each of you.”
“Not me.” Monday said, holding up a hand.
“You decided to be a paramedic after you were a kid and saved your bus driver who was having a heart attack.” Buck said without thinking. He hadn't really meant to search the guy out online, but he just had to soothe the itch in his brain about the guy's past.
“Oh.” Monday looked stunned for once.
“As I was saying, he knows something about each of you before you all started here.” Frank grinned.
“He’s easy to talk to.” Hen shrugged.
“But none of you knew much about him before he became a firefighter.” Frank pointed out.
“Buck,” Eddie said carefully, leaning forward a little and biting his lip hesitantly. Buck just tilted his head at him curiously, “Buck doesn’t like talking about before getting here. He was … he was alone for pretty much six years. Only making a few friends here and there before he was off on the road again. We’re his family. So he doesn’t share, because it doesn’t matter to him. Not that he didn’t have fun in anything he did, just that he doesn’t see any of it as … as an important part of his story. Not like what’s happened since he joined the 118.”
“Hen, you mentioned him being a SEAL, sort of setting us all down this path.” Frank pointed out. “How was it you found that out?”
“Buck and I have been friends since his first year here.” Hen defended. “Yeah, I thought he was a brat at first, but we were all pretty hot messes back then. Buck and I get together for drinks at least once every other week. Karen keeps threatening to hide all the liquor, but she still tucks him into the couch once we get close to passing out.”
“She’s such a mom.” Buck snickered.
“He’s watched Denny a lot before, helped him with soccer drills, with science projects, before the Diaz family came along and started to steal the Wilson family time with him.” Hen arched an eyebrow at Eddie.
“Best friend privileges.” Eddie shrugged.
“How about I just bring them along with me to our next hangout and let Chris and Denny play while Eddie commiserates with Karen about how we’re killing our livers?” Buck offered.
“I suppose.” Hen sighed dramatically. “When Chimney was out, then Bobby, Buck and I spent time together.”
“I knew about the SEAL training,” Bobby added, “but … I didn’t think to really try and make him talk about his past, his family, before landing here. Probably because I hadn’t talked about mine.”
“Aside from telling me I needed someone as my emergency contact other than my captain.” Buck pointed out.
“I was definitely out of my depth.” Bobby chuckled. “I’ve never had a firefighter that didn’t have anyone outside of the firehouse. It was … eye opening, I guess. Probably part of how I more or less adopted an almost 26 year old man.”
“Bobby taught me how to cook and tie a tie, all the cool dad stuff I never got.” Buck agreed.
“And Buck took me to concerts to make sure I wasn’t alone and stuck to my sobriety.” Bobby smiled at him thankfully.
“Is this why you took his side this morning?” Chim asked, looking at Hen.
“I took his side, Howard, because you have yet to apologize.” She said firmly. “And until you do it in a way that I find believable, you’re not allowed to be around him.”
“We’re good.” Chim said, frowning at Hen still. “He knows we are. He knows he should have told me what he knew, and he didn’t.”
“That didn’t give you the right to hurt him.” Eddie said in a low voice.
“He’s fine!” Chim argued.
“He wasn’t.” Eddie practically growled. “You cracked his face and ran away instead of-”
“Eddie.” Buck called, trying to calm him down from across their circle. “It’s … not fine, but it will be. Chim, after you left, the only thing I could think of is all the things I did wrong. Because I had to be at fault, somehow, for you to hit me. Because you knew I would never hit back.”
“You what?!” Lucy and Ravi practically shot up in their seats, but sat back down when Bobby got up and motioned for them to stand down.
“Maddie left me a voicemail after the blackout. Then she called me a day later to say she was going to get help and that she was sorry she was leaving me, again, but that I had to promise not to tell anyone I’d heard from her. Because my sister has left me at least three times in my life, but she has always come back.” Buck said carefully. “You were upset, I don’t even know what about, and nothing I said made a difference. It was early days Chim, not the man who fell in love with my sister. You were erratic and falling apart. You cut yourselves off from any kind of support, and leaving her alone in her condition during the blackout? That wasn’t your fault, but there should have been someone with them, with Maddie and Jee-Yun. You both stopped letting me visit maybe two months after your daughter was home. You snapped at me constantly at work because we fucking work together . I never said shit to you about knowing about Daniel before me. About knowing my parents were coming to town and I was being forced into playing nice with people who didn’t give a shit about me when I was under the same roof as them for 18 years. So no, Chim, we’re not ‘good’. You’re back, and that’s fine. But you work in the ambulance, I work on the truck, and we coexist. And yes, before you yell at me, I told Maddie all this already.”
“You don’t know what it’s like to be left like I was!” Chim exclaimed angrily.
“No?” Buck chuckled humorlessly. “Right, because all of you didn’t give me crap about hanging on to Abby when she left me. Sure, I could figure out where she was from social media and the few times she messaged or called, but she left me and didn’t say one word about where we stood. Ali left me. Taylor used me. I have a partner as long as I have something they want, then they leave. So try another one. Maddie left. She got help. And she came back. Which she would have done without you driving your daughter across the country.”
“You knew she took Jee to the ER.” Chim said in frustration.
“She did what?” Buck sat up straighter. “When? What happened?”
“What do you mean ‘what happened’?” Chim scoffed. “During the blackout, Maddie took Jee-Yun to the ER which I found out when I got the insurance statement in the mail.”
“You know what,” Buck shook his head defeatedly, “screw you, Chim. You and my sister can have each other. You were one of the people that helped turn her against me during the lawsuit. Was it a bad idea? Maybe, but at the time I didn’t see another option. Bobby was blocking me coming back. It wasn’t the blood thinners, or pushing myself too hard, none of that. The hardware in my leg is what caused the issue.”
“What hardware?” Monday asked in confusion.
“The bombing.” Eddie said through clenched teeth. “The bombs that were going around LA before one was on a truck and pinned Buck under it.”
“I kept my leg, somehow.” Buck said quietly. “And after a month at home, nearly everyone stopped coming by or texting or anything. You started a new groupchat because you didn’t want to bother me or whatever the fuck you told yourselves. I was … so alone. Yeah, I used to be alone all the time. But after being here? Finding this family? I was losing it. So I did what I had to. I sunk my claws in and held on desperately. Hoping that one of you would understand what I was being forced to go through to come back when none of you had to do any of that. You were on blood thinners and heavy antibiotics and you were still let back without issue, Chim. But I wasn’t? There was no reason behind it. Somehow Bobby got the Chief to believe his word over four different medical professionals and my recertification scores. None of you believed me, and my sister was living with you and refused to talk to me while it was going on so she wasn’t in the middle of anything. She chose you, Chim. Over me. So get over yourself.” Buck stood up to walk away, but Hen stopped him and just held onto his hand, making him stay there.
“Buck has been part of this firehouse for years.” Hen said gently. “None of us knew he had living family until Maddie showed up out of the blue. You want to blame him for whatever the hell is going on in your personal relationship with his sister? You keep it out of the firehouse. Because if you can’t figure out how to work like Buck suggested, by just coexisting here, then he will be my partner. Eddie and Ravi can work together.”
“Hen.” Buck hissed anxiously.
“Shut up.” She said firmly. “I never told anyone, I kept it a secret for over a year. It’s time to let it go.”
“What secret?” Ravi asked, frowning at them. “‘Cause I’m not ready to give up my partner.”
“Buck earned his paramedic certification when he was binge reading pregnancy and emergency medical procedure books when he found out his sister was pregnant. Basically getting himself prepared in the event that anything went wrong.” Hen said proudly. “It’s in his file, but he swore me to secrecy when he blabbed about it on one of our drinking nights. And before Eddie and Chim came back, we needed our best people spread out. So Buck stayed on the truck, and I stayed in the ambulance. If they are back, and we’re all on the same shift again, then Buck is with me until I can see that Howard has figured his shit out.”
“Why didn’t you want anyone to know?” Ravi asked, standing up and bumping his shoulder with Buck who was still looking away from everyone. He sighed heavily and turned around.
“I never said anything for a few reasons. One, I didn’t need accusations that I did it to take someone else’s job. Two, I didn’t need remarks about how dumb they think I am and how I’m probably lying about passing. Three, because … because I liked working on the truck with my partner. Even if he moved to the ambulance and I got to mentor my first probie. I like being the guy with random information. I like being the guy that has answers or that everyone is comfortable goofing off with. I have a ton of additional certifications, and I was the only heavy rescue guy for a while. Which is why we were on certain calls. Bobby couldn’t afford to pull me from that just to be another paramedic when he had others who were willing to step in if needed. He needed me on the truck.”
“Well, crap.” Bobby sighed heavily, drawing several confused glances. “You just cost me $50 and a very expensive date night for my wife.” He smiled when several people laughed. “She bet it would come out within a year. I said it wouldn’t until you were applying to be a lieutenant.”
“Don’t bet against Athena, Bobby.” Buck chuckled. “You should know better than that by now.”
“You guys are pretty friendly for what you told us happened after the truck thing.” Lucy pointed out.
“Buck insisted we do a few counseling sessions together.” Bobby shrugged. “It was a good idea, but probably something we should have done sooner than we did. Now, I think we’ve all given Frank way more than he bargained for.”
“As always happens with the 118.” Frank agreed with a smirk. “I want to thank you all for your honesty this morning. I also want to encourage you all to maybe try and learn something new about a coworker. Buck knew all these things about everyone. It sounds like he’s the one people talk to when they just want someone to listen. So maybe try that more with each other and not just Buck. You obviously don’t have to share too personal of details, but if something is bothering you, bounce it off someone else. Maybe they had a similar struggle.”
“Like I did with that woman and the balcony.” Lucy nodded in understanding. “I was sort of losing my mind with all the ‘what if’ scenarios, how lucky of a save it was. Buck stopped me from spiraling by telling me about something that happened to him. I think the real problem is gonna be finding someone with a relatable experience. Buck somehow has something he can relate to with each of us.”
“Because I’m awesome.” Buck said proudly, smiling when more people laughed.
“I also want to encourage doing something like this as a team more often. Maybe it’s going to a batting cage, or bowling, or even putt-putt. Get out together, have fun. But also try to keep personal issues that may connect with another person in-house, out of the workplace?” Frank suggested. “My offices may be the recommended ones for first responders, but that does not mean you cannot find someone else that is covered by your insurance that wouldn’t be a better fit for you. Like Buck does. Dr. Copeland is not a department counselor, but she is an in-network one. Maybe you only need one or two sessions to get some things off your chest? Or maybe you need some sort of program that helps you get back on your feet when things have gone off kilter. We don’t judge. If we did, we wouldn’t have our jobs for long.” Frank smiled when everyone chuckled or laughed. “Alright, thank you all for taking this seriously, I really appreciate it. Have a good rest of your day.”
“You’re not taking my partner when I just got back.” Eddie said, crossing his arms as he stood across from Hen.
“Please, like he isn’t at your house practically every night anyway.” Hen snorted. “You two can work together just fine and still be disgustingly BuckandEddie here at the station. I’m not interfering with that, no way. But he deserves a chance at being a paramedic for a little while. Just until Chim can get himself sorted out. Once my partner is back, the golden retriever is all yours.”
“Hey, I haven’t agreed to give him up yet.” Ravi butted in.
“How about he does a week on the ambulance at a time and then rotate him between us?” Lucy suggested. “Because we’re good on the ropes together. Especially the three of us.” She pointed between Buck, Ravi, and herself. Which was true.
“Unless calls we’re on say otherwise and they need both of us working heavy rescue.” Eddie pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Might be able to make it work.”
“Ok, you guys are all being weirdly possessive, and you also know that it’s Bobby’s call on who goes where. Right now Mon- uh, Jonah,” Buck looked around quickly to make sure no one heard him, “him and Quintana are in the ambulance and the rest of us are on the rig.”
“You all really need to stop calling him that.” Bobby said, shaking his head as he joined them. “Buck, go get some more coffee started and get stuff out for breakfast. We’ll put that frittata together here in a few minutes.”
“Sweet!” Buck bounced on his toes and headed toward the stairs as Bobby and the others got into a quiet conversation. Monday and Chim were slowly putting the chairs away, both looking thoughtful. Buck rubbed his hands together as he started another pot of coffee, setting both his and Hen’s cups in front of it so maybe they could get the first cups out of it. Bobby patted him on the shoulder when he joined him in the kitchen and they started working together to put the dish together. Everyone else was either deep in thought or having quiet conversations at the table. But his friends were (mostly) all smiling and chuckling at each other and Bobby was a steady presence at his side.
He couldn’t help thinking it had not been as bad of a morning as he thought it might be.