Chapter Text
7 years ago…
Colin Bridgerton always thought that taking a huge step in life would be nerve-wracking and scary, always thought that his heart would be pounding against his chest as he waited for that one event in his life that would change everything for him.
However, today, as he sat by the docks overlooking the shore of Swan’s Haven in the small town he had lived in all his life, he felt nothing but complete and utter calm. He felt nothing but peace.
The sun was shining bright, a mixture of yellow and orange painting the clear, albeit moss-filled lake that housed the only two surviving swans of their town. He watched as the two white birds swam side-by-side across the lake, forever tethered to each other.
Equals. Partners. Companions.
How appropriate, he thought, that he was proposing to Penelope Featherington in front of one of the few animal species that mate for life.
A smile spread across Colin’s lips as he ran his fingers over the box that contained the ring he planned to give Penelope when she accepted his proposal of marriage. He could feel it in his pocket, the velvet finish of the ring box soothing the non-existent nerves within him as he waited for her to arrive.
Penelope had graduated university only three days ago, officially earning her degree in literature, much to the chagrin of her mother. He attended the ceremony, of course, feigning polite smiles at Portia Featherington who always seemed to find ways to give her daughter backhanded compliments in the presence of people she deemed important.
It took all of Colin’s strength not to give Portia a tongue-lashing at the graduation lunch that came after the ceremony. They were supposed to be celebrating Penelope’s success, and yet her mother couldn’t stop complaining about Penelope’s choice of degree, the dress she decided to wear to her graduation, and even the lipstick shade she chose for the event.
Colin’s hands had been balled into fists underneath the table they were sat in at Anderson’s Restaurant, one of the only upscale restaurants in town, as he tried to stop himself from punching his future mother-in-law.
Penelope soothed his foul mood by grasping his hand as she sat beside him, whispering into his ear that everything was okay and that she was fine. They were going to celebrate, just the two of them, in a few days and that was all the celebration she needed. It calmed the storm that was brewing inside of him that day, smiling encouragingly at her as he nodded in agreement.
“A penny for your thoughts?” came a voice from behind him, breaking him out of his reminiscing as he turned to grin at the person who decided to interrupt his solitude.
“I’m fine with a Pen for my thoughts.”
His heart fluttered deep in his chest as he heard Penelope laugh at his pun, rolling her eyes at him as he got up from where he was sitting by the docks, his feet dangling over the planks of wood overlooking the sunset painted lake.
They met halfway and Colin’s hands immediately found their way to Penelope’s face, cradling her jaw as he planted a soft, tender kiss on her lips.
He could stay in this moment forever, he realized, relishing in the feel of her soft lips against his, feeling their breaths mingle as she wrapped her hands across his back.
It took everything in Colin to break apart from her, to separate his lips from hers. But he did, moving ever so slightly to rest his forehead against her own before opening his eyes to stare into the beautiful blues that belonged to her.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Their voices were mere whispers in the silence that enveloped the docks, their smiles as bright as the sun that was starting to set behind them, yellow melding with the oranges and pinks of the atmosphere that made Penelope’s hair shine more brightly in comparison.
Colin’s eyes flickered over to the beautiful red that haunted his dreams, his fingers quickly running through her curls as he brought their lips together once more.
If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. He was going to make sure that Penelope knew she was loved and appreciated and valued before he asked her to become his wife.
This time it was Penelope who broke the kiss, resting her forehead against his chin as she chuckled.
“When you told me ‘we’re celebrating’ three days ago I thought it would be something more,” Penelope teased, disentangling from Colin as she weaved her fingers through his. “I didn’t know all you meant was a hot make out session by the docks of Swan’s Haven.”
Colin chuckled back at her, gripping her fingers tightly as he guided her away from the docks, over to the cement bench that was situated under a willow tree a few feet away.
He had it all planned out. He initially debated proposing to her in a foreign country, Paris perhaps. He would disguise the trip as a graduation present for her, take her to the Eiffel Tower then after they’ve seen the view from up there, he’d get down on one knee and ask her to be his wife.
But something about the grandiosity of the idea made Colin think twice. He knew Penelope, knew her in a way that no one else in her life did.
He knew that above anything else she valued sincerity. She didn’t need grand speeches or romantic gestures for her to know that he loves her. All she needed was the sincerity in his words that are reflected in his eyes when he would ask her to be his forever.
And that was when Colin pivoted. His plan changed to one so grand it took flying to a foreign country to propose, to one that was simple, intimate, and inherently them.
Swan’s Haven had been built since the town was founded a few centuries ago. It once was a park where families hung out, children often spending the afternoons feeding the swans that used to be in abundance at the lake, while their parents took respite from the long week of parenting by having picnics under the willow tree.
The park had been poorly maintained in the years since the town was discovered, their town leaders mostly focusing on keeping the town square up and running as the years passed. Schools were built and the playground nearby became the place where parents took their children for playdates and family bonding, and Swan’s Haven eventually became the place where lovers would meet.
In recent years, Swan’s Haven had become less well-known to the townsfolk, the beautiful lake that housed the town swans becoming a well-kept secret within families of the first settlers of the town. Since it was located farther from the town’s center than other more recent establishments, fewer and fewer people took time to visit and feed the swans that used to live there, resulting in the eventual dwindling of the swan population in the town.
Few people might find this place less than alluring, but it held so much importance to Colin and Penelope. It was where he took her on their first date, and the place where they first declared their love for each other. It was the spot they always gravitated towards when they wanted to spend time alone, away from the quiet bustle of town square, the center of activity in the small town they lived in.
Picnics under the willow tree became their thing in the years that they dated. Afternoons would usually start with them feeding the swans by the lake, dangling their feet by the docks as they stared at the magnificent white birds that considered this place their home.
Colin would then turn to face Penelope, run his fingers across her cheek in a soft caress before kissing her earnestly. Penelope would kiss him back fervently before she would end up in giddy little giggling fits that never failed to bring a smile on Colin's lips. She would then pull Colin by the hand as they would walk over to the picnic set up under the willow tree, regaling each other with their dreams for the future.
Everything about Swan’s Haven felt appropriate for his proposal. Mayfair had seen their history, it had seen the moment Colin fell off his bike the day he met Penelope, saw how terrified she was as a little girl at the idea of this older boy yelling at her for not tying her yellow bow tightly onto her hair.
Mayfair was the place that saw Penelope fall in love with Colin because of his kindness. It was the place that watched them become friends, the place that witnessed how Colin’s love for Penelope grew throughout the years as he got to know more and more about her and the secret dreams and desires she never told anyone.
It was the place that saw them kiss as kids as a result from a dare issued during a playdate, a place that later saw them kiss as teenagers because Penelope was scared she would be a horrible kisser, and Colin being the idiot that he was offered to teach her. That event changed everything for Colin and it took a little while before they got together, awkward encounters in school hallways and myriad sexual dreams on Colin's side, until eventually he just gathered the courage to ask her to go on a date with him.
Mayfair had seen it all.
But it was Swan’s Haven that heard of their future. And it was where Colin intended for their future to start. It was the place he wanted to tell their kids about when they eventually had them. A place that held so much of their history as a couple.
Colin felt a tug on his hand from the redhead who was only a few paces behind him.
“You seem to be loss in thought,” she commented with a coy smile and an eyebrow raised.
“Just reminiscing.” Colin replied simply, smiling at her as he did so, hands still on hers as he continued to walk before her.
“About what exactly?”
“Everything.”
Penelope watched as Colin sighed in relief, a warmth spreading throughout her chest as she watched the man she had adored her entire life.
Colin continued to guide Penelope towards the bench, eventually reaching the leaves hanging from its branches that shielded the cement bench from the harsh sunset. He moved to sweep the branches of the willow tree away from their path, pulling Penelope further into the tree that had seen many a makeout session before.
They were both shielded from view, the branches of the willow tree allowing only trickles of sun into its crevices.
Colin smiled at Penelope widely, squeezing her fingers before pulling her towards the bench for them to sit on.
Penelope watched Colin keenly, her eyes soft and not once leaving his form, her love for him shining in the way that she looked at him.
He cleared his throat as he faced her, watching in amusement as she instinctively turned to face him too.
“Colin, you’re starting to scare me with all this silence and reminiscing.”
A nervous smile made its way onto his lips, and for the first time since he decided to propose Colin felt nervous.
“Pen,” he started shakily, his eyes now finding hers as he started to speak the words that were in his heart. “I hope you know you are very special to me.”
“You are very special to me too, Colin.”
“Please,” Colin blurted out nervously, shaking his head as he lowered his eyes to marvel at the way Penelope’s hand was laid on top of his, letting out a shaky breath before he continued. “Let me get all this out before you say another word.”
He looked intently into her eyes, waiting for her to agree to his terms.
Penelope couldn’t help but simply smile back at his earnestness. She nodded in agreement, squeezing his hand for good measure as she waited for him to continue his speech.
“You have told me before that you have loved me since the moment we met,” Colin continued, his heart doing somersaults in his chest as he watched the watery smile Penelope was giving him from where she sat. “And as much as I want to say that that was the case for me, it was not.”
He gulped, feeling a little guilty that he spent years not seeing the lovely woman in front of him sooner.
“My love for you grew as I got to know you. You have always been the person who was always there for me, the person who saw me for who I really was and not the man I wanted everyone to believe I am.”
Colin marveled as he looked at her, mesmerized at the way she was smiling back at him with so much understanding and pride.
“Somewhere along the way you ceased to simply be my friend, and became the woman you are now. This enchanting goddess who loves me just as much as I love her, the woman I could see spending the rest of my life with.”
This was it. This was the moment he had been planning. This was the moment he was waiting for ever since he realized he could not live a life without Penelope Featherington in it.
Penelope smiled back at him, conveying that she felt the same. That gave him the courage to shift his weight, moving from where he sat to kneeling in front of her as he pulled out the box from his pants pocket.
Penelope’s eyes flew to the red velvet box, her jaw dropping as she watched Colin flick the box open to reveal a round cut diamond atop a diamond studded band.
“Penelope Featherington, will you marry me?”
Penelope was speechless.
She stared at the diamond ring, unable to discern how many diamonds were reflecting back at her, goading her to say yes.
She couldn’t bring herself to look at Colin, knowing what awaits her if she did.
He would be looking at her intently, his eyes shining with so much love as he waited for her answer with bated breath.
She knew that if she even allowed herself to look at him that she was going to say yes to his proposal, that she was going to agree to marry him.
But she knew deep in her heart that now was not the right time for them.
They were still very young, both of them filled to the brim with dreams that were far larger than the corners of the small town they grew up in.
If she agreed to marry him now, they would be stuck in Mayfair, stuck in a town they loved with all their hearts but one that wasn’t enough for the two of them to grow as individuals and as a couple.
She knew they both needed to get out of here. Colin most especially.
Years of friendship with him and a couple more as his girlfriend told Penelope enough about who Colin Bridgerton was.
He was a wanderer. He had a lust for travel, a desire to see the world that wasn’t just daily diner runs, town meetings, and family owned businesses.
He belonged somewhere that was as big as his personality, a place that could handle his ideas, a place that could make all his dreams come true.
Mayfair wasn’t that place.
If she agreed to marry him now, she would be anchoring him to a town that was too small for him.
And what of her dreams?
She wanted more than just to be a wife and mother in a small town. She wanted to become a writer, have one of her novels published and on the New York Times Bestselling List. She wanted to get as far away from her mother as she can, and by agreeing to marry Colin she’d be anchoring herself to this small town as well.
No.
They both needed to get out. They both needed to see the world.
Marriage would only prevent them from realizing their dreams. They deserved a chance to see where life was going to take them before they settled down and started a family of their own.
Penelope felt herself swallow the lump that formed in her throat while she was staring at the ring. Her mind was racing as she considered all the possible ways she could decline Colin’s proposal.
All of the scenarios that went through her head involved breaking his heart, and she did not relish doing that, especially if she had to look him in the eye while she did it.
But despite her better judgement Penelope allowed her eyes to trail over to Colin’s, her heart clenching as she saw the excitement in his deep blue eyes.
She didn’t have it in her to break his heart, but she knew that she had to.
She swallowed once more, hoping that it would give her the strength that she needed to reject him.
“Colin…” she began to say, her tone low and unsure.
It didn’t escape her notice when he caught the tone of her voice, how his expression changed from one of excitement to one of realization that his world was about to crumble.
“I can’t marry you.”
She watched as his entire demeanor changed. Gone was the carefree, excited man that graced her presence mere minutes ago. Gone was the sunny smile and the excited glint in his eyes.
She watched as he shrunk into himself, the ring and the box holding it abandoned on the grass a few inches away from where he knelt.
“What?” came his voice from in front of her, laced with disbelief and heartbreak it almost knocked the wind out of her.
She didn’t want to hurt him more than she already had, but she knew he needed to hear the words again to understand their meaning.
She could feel tears spring to her eyes, could feel the way her heart was squeezing tightly in her chest as looked at him with a determined gaze.
“I’m sorry Colin, but I cannot marry you.”
Her rejection echoed in his ears, etched itself in his brain that there was no way he would ever forget the words.
A few hours ago he was happy. A few hours ago he was excited. A few hours ago the life he had imagined for himself was filled with love and happiness and with the one person in his life that he wanted more than anyone else.
Right now, however, his world was crumbling. Right now, his heart was breaking.
Colin stared at the box containing the diamond ring he got for Penelope, the glint of the gems mocking him as they reflected brilliantly amidst the sunset that was casting a glow over Swan’s Haven.
He didn’t understand what was happening. He thought Penelope loved him. He thought they were in a good place, that they were ready to take the next step in their relationship. But her rejection of his proposal told him otherwise.
He needed answers, he realized. He needed to hear from her lips, with her own words why she didn’t want to marry him. He knew that it was highly likely that he would get hurt by whatever Penelope had to say, but he’d rather have a broken heart than millions of questions stuck in his head for years to come.
Colin stood from where he was kneeling, picking up the ring box as he went and snapping the lid shut. He turned away from Penelope, running his hands over his mouth as he gathered the courage to ask the question that was on his mind.
“Why, Penelope?” he croaked, his voice laced with heartbreak and a desperation he wished he could drive away. “I thought you loved me?”
“I do love you, Colin.”
“Then, why?”
“Because I’m only 21 years old Colin –”
“So what?! My mother was 18 when she married my father. Your mother was 20 when she married yours.”
“That doesn’t mean I need to follow in their footsteps!” Penelope exclaimed in defiance, her voice raising a little bit as she turned to face him.
Colin could feel the rage inside him starting to rise. She wasn’t making any sense. What has age got to do with anything? And as if reading his mind, Penelope came up with the answer to the question that was brewing in his mind.
“You know the expectations the people of this town have,” Penelope continued to explain, peering over at him, wishing that he would turn around to face her so they may finally see eye to eye.
“Once we get married they’d expect us to buy a house, to settle down, and in your case, take care of one of your family’s many businesses.”
Penelope did not care for the distance anymore, she needed him to look at her, needed him to understand where she was coming from. She gathered the courage to approach him, her little legs strolling from she had stood by the bench to where Colin had his back turned to her.
She reached out in his direction, her fingers hovering in the air tentatively as she observed his stance. His entire body was tense, as if he was trying to guard himself from more heartache. But she knew that there was no other way for them to resolve this issue between them but to have their hearts broken.
Her fingers finally reached his arm, cressing his skin as she allowed her fingers to wrap around their strong expanse. She tugged at him initially, hoping that it would be enough to get him to turn and face her. As if on cue, Colin whipped around, his eyes now tear-stained as he looked at her with a deep, utter sadness in his beautiful denim blue eyes.
“They’ll also expect us to start a family,” Penelope finally said, the last of her worries finally out in the open. “And I don’t know about you, but I am not ready for that yet.”
“Pen,” Colin replied tenderly, a single tear running down his left cheek as he moved to take both of her hands in his. “We don’t need to do what this stupid town expects of us.”
She could feel his thumbs running against the back of her knuckles in soothing circles. Her eyes flew to where he was comforting her, urging her to see reason, before she looked back into his eyes.
“We can build our future together however we see fit,” Colin continued, his voice discerning and sure, begging her to see where he was coming from.
“There’s an entire world out there that you still want to explore, Colin,” Penelope countered, her eyes begging him in return. “I don’t want to be the person who is weighing you down.”
“But you aren’t, Penelope. And you will never be that person.”
Colin’s stubbornness was infuriating Penelope. He was not thinking clearly. He was thinking like a child, thinking of a fantasy he had built in his head. She had to be the practical one, she had to be the one to set things right.
In a petulant fit of rage, Penelope wrenched her hands away from Colin’s turning away from him as she crossed her arms across her chest and huffed a sigh of frustration.
“You have always had big dreams, Colin.” Penelope stated rather fiercely, closing her eyes as her heart finally softened, guilt wracking her tiny frame at the words she uttered next. “Don’t put them on hold for my account.”
“But I’m not, Pen!” Colin cried out in desperation, reaching for her and turning her around so their eyes connected once more.
Penelope could see the passion that was burning in Colin’s eyes, feel it even in the way that he was gripping her shoulders.
“I want you to come with me.” Colin echoed, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles on her shoulders.
“What?”
“We don’t have to get married right away,” Colin explained, the desperation in his voice reflecting the desire for her to see what he was seeing. “We can be engaged for years before we get married if you want.”
Penelope looked at Colin with utter confusion, her eyes staring into his eyes as she tried to understand his train of thought.
“We can get married when you want to,” Colin affirmed, his impassioned gaze slowly tearing down her resolve. “You can be my fiancée, my wife, whatever you want to be.”
Colin then allowed his hands to slide down from her shoulder to her arms and eventually settled against her hands, grasping them as tightly as he could.
“I just need you to be with me.”
“Colin…”
“Just think about it, Pen,” Colin said in haste, quickly shoving the ring box between her right hand before he took her left in his. “Don’t say no just yet.”
He smiled weakly at her, hoping that she would grant him his request to think about this life-altering decision. He then let go of her hands, his right immediately searching the pockets of the jacket he decided to put on that fine afternoon.
He finally found what he was looking for, the non-refundable plane tickets that he had initially booked for Paris when he was planning his proposal.
When his plan changed, when he finally decided to propose at Swan’s Haven instead of in Paris, these tickets became something different. It was to become an engagement gift for her. He was going to take her on a Parisian vacation after she agreed to be his wife. They’d do stupid touristy things together and drink champagne and kiss and laugh. He hoped she wanted that too.
Colin pulled out the tickets from his jacket, taking the one that was meant for her and shoving it in her free hand.
“These tickets were initially what I planned to be your graduation present,” Colin smiled hopefully, releasing Penelope’s hand as he watched her eyes finally meet his. “I planned to propose to you while we were on a Parisian adventure.”
“But the day before your graduation, when I took you here to calm your nerves,” Colin continued, reminiscing about the day that changed his entire plan for proposing to Penelope. “You told me that you loved that I always took you to Swan’s Haven, that this is the one place in the world that you always felt connected to me.”
Penelope smiled sadly at Colin before turning to look at the trinkets she had placed in his hand.
“That was the day I realized that this place had to see me propose to you,” Colin rambled on, a dreamy expression in his eyes as he continued to say his piece. “This place held a lot of special memories for us, and I wanted it to be the place where you also agreed to be my wife.”
Colin finally stopped looking at the sky, which was now tinged pink and orange as the sun was on the last few minutes of its descent before darkness finally took the town.
His denim blue eyes found her light blue ones and he couldn’t help but smile hopefully at her.
“So take the time to think about it, Penelope.” Colin urged. “If you do decide to build a life with me, meet me at the airport. Let’s start this great adventure together.”
Colin smiled at her, his eyebrows raising to his forehead, asking her if she understood what he was saying.
Penelope didn’t have it in her to break his heart when he looked this hopeful. She would heed his advice and take a few days to mull things over. And when she finally had a decision, she would tell him.
So she simply nodded at him, a tense smile gracing her lips as she tucked both the engagement ring and the plane ticket into her jean jacket.
Satisfied with Penelope’s decision, Colin then offered to take her home, giving her a kiss goodnight in front of their porch before he strolled across the street towards his own home, not a single clue in his brain that Penelope had already made the decision to break his heart despite her promise to him to think things through.
Colin hadn’t seen Penelope for a week.
He didn’t take offense to this, despite having been used to seeing her every single day since they met.
He knew she needed time to herself, needed time to think about his proposal and what her answer would be.
He didn’t want to rush her, didn’t want to influence her decision. She deserved to think about it in her own time and on her own terms. He gave her a little over a week to come to a decision, and hopefully, that time would be enough to sway her to his cause.
That was how Colin found himself now, standing at the entrance of the nearest airport, with his backpack slung across both shoulders, and two large suitcases by his side.
He was waiting for her to arrive, excited to see her in a cute sundress with her red locks tied into a messy bun. His eyes were on the lookout for red hair, a feature about Penelope that he loved because it made her unique and easy to spot.
Thirty minutes passed. Then another thirty. It was only when he had an hour left before check-in was closing for their flight that Colin spotted his sister, and he felt his heart sink deep into his stomach.
Eloise Bridgerton was Penelope’s best friend (other than Colin he would always say).
Colin and Penelope met first, but it was Penelope and Eloise that shared the same age and a myriad of common interests.
Colin admired their friendship and never once begrudged what his sister had with Penelope.
But today, Colin cursed the bond that his sister had with his girlfriend. Because it was that bond that forged a loyalty to Penelope in Eloise that Colin could never break through even if he tried.
Eloise approached him slowly, her eyes sad and her mouth contorted into a frown. Her right hand was on his left arm as soon as she was standing in front of him, squeezing him in the most comforting way she could before she pulled out a letter from her coat pocket.
“Penelope asked me to give you this,” Eloise said tentatively, handing Colin the letter before she started to rummage her other pocket for the other thing that Penelope asked her to return.
Colin watched in fascination as his world slowed, his eyes following the movements of his sister’s fingers, watching as her left hand pulled out the familiar red velvet box that held the engagement ring that Penelope had asked Eloise to return.
“And she asked me to return this.”
The velvet box was staring at him, mocking him as the realization that Penelope’s rejection at Swan’s Haven had hurt much less than the rejection he was facing right now.
Because why did she have to ask Eloise to break his heart in this manner? Was she too much of a coward to tell him herself?
“Before you judge her, Colin, read the letter.”
Eloise gave him one last glance, a comforting smile and squeeze of his arm the last things he remembered of her before she turned and left him there standing, gaping into the nothingness that was his entire world.
Colin felt numb, so numb that all he could do was shove the letter Penelope had written him and the stupid engagement ring box into the pocket of his jacket.
He couldn’t remember checking in, couldn’t remember walking to the pre-departure gate of his flight to Paris, couldn’t even remember boarding the plane.
And as he sat at the window seat in business class, staring at the ground personnel doing their final checks before his plane took off, Colin felt the weight of Penelope’s letter in his jack pocket.
He finally gathered the courage to shove his hand into his jacket pocket to retrieve the blasted letter, slowly ripping the envelope open before pulling the neatly folded letter that contained Penelope’s final words to him.
He swallowed the huge lump that had started to form in his throat as he was opening the letter, finally allowing himself to unfold the blasted piece of paper, his eyes skimming through Penelope’s lovely cursive, before he allowed himself to read her words.
Dear Colin,
I know you deserve better than a written apology for what I am about to do. But I cannot bring myself to face you again after the events at Swan’s Haven. You just looked so honest and alive that day as you were explaining to me the many ways our future could begin if I accepted your proposal. I gave into your request, allowed myself a few days of contemplation before giving you my decision.
However, even if you gave me a month or even a year, my answer would still be the same.
No, Colin, I cannot marry you.
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to marry you ever.
Maybe in the future, when we’re older and have done something with our lives and you’ve forgiven me for this letter.
But not now, not when we’re still young, not when we both have dreams we need to achieve.
I know you said that we didn’t need to get married right away, that we could spend years engaged as long as we’re together. But in the days that you’ve allowed me to mull over these facts, I’ve finally come to realize that maybe we deserve to see what the world has to offer us apart. As Colin Bridgerton, and Penelope Feathrington.
I never want to be the person to hold you back from your full potential, Colin. I love you too much to do that. And I know you’d say the same about me.
Traveling is your thing, it was never mine. If I agreed to go with you, to see the world with you, I’m scared that I would resent you for taking away time I could use to explore my writing. I’m scared that you would resent me for not loving travel as much as you do and we would eventually grow into two people who loathed each other instead of two people who love each other very much.
I’d rather break your heart now in the hopes that you might forgive me in the future. I value your friendship and your love, and if I agreed to be your fiancée even though I know in my heart I’m not ready to be that for you, we would eventually lose what we have.
I think right now, we need to do things for ourselves. You’ve always been selfless when it comes to me. Now I need you to be selfish for yourself.
But knowing you, you’d probably still find a way to consider me.
That’s why I’m setting you free. You deserve to see the world without me, and I deserve to see what I can do away from you.
Please don’t rush back to convince me to come with you, Colin. Don’t miss that flight. Go to Paris, start your exploration of the world. Don’t make things harder than they already are.
I’ll be okay back home, you don’t have to worry about me anymore.
I love you, Colin. Please don’t ever think that I don’t.
Yours truly,
Penelope
Colin didn’t know when his tears started to fall. All he knew was that Penelope’s letter hurt, that it was stained with his tears. But it also made him love her more.
He folded the last piece of her that he would have, tucking it back into the envelope from where it came before pocketing the thing.
He wished he hated her, wished he could force himself to hate Penelope Featherington. But as he stared out the window of his seat in business class, Colin couldn't help but feel grateful. He would never be able to understand her logic, because he still believed they should be together, whether they were engaged or not.
But if Penelope wanted time apart, then he would respect that.
He would do his thing while she did hers.
Maybe in a few years this heartache will be a distant memory, and maybe he could come back home again to her, and maybe by then, she would finally agree to be his for the rest of their lives.