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Die for you or probably kill.

Summary:

Bill reacts to realizing Ford had escaped the nightmare realm...he is very not pleased.

Notes:

The name of the title/general theme of this fic is from the song "Narcissist" by Lauren Spencer Smith! It's a good song, but you don't have to listen to it to read the fic.

Work Text:

 Bill hummed as he sat on his piano, hands caressing keys he could not feel.

(Curse not having a physical form! Curse the Axolotl for it!)

As always, Bill was sitting in The Nightmare Realm.

Even if he shouldn’t have been.

Even if he should’ve already been launching Weirdmageddon.

IF FORD HADN'T SHUT DOWN THE PORTAL!!

AND IF HIS IDIOT BROTHER HADN'T KNOCKED HIM THROUGH IT!!

WHY, AS SOON AS HE GOT HIS HANDS ON STANLEY HE'D RIP HIM TO SHREDS!!!

And nobody'd even miss him, either. 

Not even his own brother.

Ha! 

Bill didn't know why, but looking at Stan knocking Ford through the portal...it made him...angry. 

Not just angry in the sense that now it'd take longer for the portal to be started, but in a different way.

A way that made his non-existent insides churn.

Bill hated Stanley Pines.

And he didn't know why.

 

"Some brother you turned out to be." 

"SLD XLFOW BLF GDL WL GSRH GL NV?!"

"You care more about your dumb mysteries then your family?! Well then, YOU CAN HAVE THEM!"

"Blf xziv hl nfxs zylfg nv yvrmt 'mlinzo'! DVOO R'N TLMMZ KILEV BLF DILMT! ZMW R SLKV R MVEVI HVV VRGSVI LU BLF ZTZRM!!"

"Oh hey, what's going on?" 

"Wrw R--wrw R wl gszg?"

"Stanley, Stanley, HELP ME!"

"YROOB!! SVOK!"

"Nln...?"

"STANLEY!"

"YROOB!"

"Stanford? Stanford, come back!"

"Nln? Wzw? Dsviv ziv blf? DSVIV ZIV BLF?"

"I didn't mean it! I just got him back, I can't lose him again!" 

"R'n hliib. R'n hliib, R'n hliib, R'n hliib."

"STANFORD!" 

"NLN!" 

Bill shook away the thoughts that were suddenly making static fill his vision.

The triangle grabbed at one of his angles, near his head, very dizzy.

He couldn't black out.

He couldn't.

Bill looked around the nightmare realm, trying to distract himself.

WHERE THE HECK WERE HIS HENCHMANIACS?!

He'd already gotten everything ready for this!

His makeup was perfectly done, and a spotlight was on him, all ready to get Ford on his side.

He’d make sure Ford never rejected him again.

And Bill happened to have the best plan ever (TM) ready for it!

 Step 1:  Have the Henchmaniacs capture Ford. (Working on that right now!)

Step 2: Serenade Ford into admitting his true feelings. (Totally about to happen!)

Step 3:  Let Ford into the Henchmaniac crew! (Bill was so forgiving, wasn’t he?)
 I

It was great!! Brilliant!


Nothing could ruin it!

Bill heard the soft sounds of the henchmaniacs getting closer, except oddly enough, he didn't hear Sixer struggling. 

He placed his hands on the keys, remember his script and--

“Uh boss,” Whispered one of the Hench-maniacs behind him.

Bill let his eye materialize to his back for just a few seconds, so he could look at them.

Look at them…not having Stanford.

“Where’s Sixer?”

“Well, we um…lost him.”


Bill slammed his fists against the keyboard, making a horrific sound that he might’ve liked if he wasn’t so angry.


"YOU WHAT!?”

Those henchmen never got time to respond, before they were just a pile of bones, that Bill quickly used to create a new throne for himself.

He sat down on it, his color bright red, anger filling every essence of his entire body.

He didn’t know why he'd always struggled so much with his temper, or well, ever since he was 16.

Or with his other emotions, but those had been getting better.

Kind of.

Hopefully.

But it didn't truly matter.

“FAMILY MEETING!” He screeched, his voice low and demonic, and it echoed throughout eternity

. A thundercloud appeared over Bill’s apex, and fire twisted in between his fingers.


His much more trusted hench-maniacs appeared quickly, looking absolutely terrified.

As usual, Pyronica was the first one to speak:


“W-what is it, boss?”

“LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD!” Bill shrieked.


“I WANT STANFORD’S NAME ON EVERY WANTED POSTER IN THE MULTIVERSE! SPREAD THE WORD! I WANT HIM AND I WANT HIM ALIVE!”

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