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Queen of Mean @iheartlesbians
check out who I met last night!!!
[1 Photo attached, depicts a young lady holding up her phone for a selfie, her arm around the shoulders of Cat-Tastrophe. He waves at the camera with a huge grin, head tilted to the side.]
tired @depressionbucket
@iheartlesbians dude WHAT
tired @depressionbucket
@iheartlesbians these guys are literally EVERYWHERE how have i not met one of them yet???
Dick Grayson @FlyingGraysons1 ✔
@depressionbucket If it makes you feel better, I haven’t met them yet either :(
tired @depressionbucket
@FlyingGraysons1 WHAT??? HELLO!!?!?
Spiderman is The Best @MetasofGotham ✔
@FlyingGraysons1 @depressionbucket aw man I’m sorry, you guys sound so great!!! -Cat
tired @depressionbucket
@MetasofGotham AKJDFBJKAJD HELP OML HOLY SHIT
Queen of Mean @iheartlesbians
@MetasofGotham You guys got verified!?
Cat-Tastrophe is The Best @MetasofGotham ✔
o shit you right we are, we’re famous take that @LexLuthor -haunter
Retweeted by f joker @justdiejoker and 33,982 more
~~~
weeee minecraft @strangeandhyperfixated22
@MetasofGotham I have a weird question
seriously fuck joker @MetasofGotham ✔
@strangeandhyperfixated22 Shoot! -Spiderman
weeee minecraft @strangeandhyperfixated22
@MetasofGotham Do you guys like, behave like your animal names? Like do you have spider tendencies and Cat has cat tendencies?
seriously fuck joker @MetasofGotham ✔
@strangeandhyperfixated22 I guess that depends on how you define it? I’m super flexible and I like to climb on walls so maybe that counts? -Spiderman
seriously fuck joker @MetasofGotham ✔
@strangeandhyperfixated22 i watched cat curl up on the couch and purr the other day, also spider’s fucking terrifying when he’s just on the ceiling at night staring at you -haunter
seriously fuck joker @MetasofGotham ✔
@MetasofGotham Aw come on that was one time, I was sleep walking!!! -Spiderman
seriously fuck joker @MetasofGotham ✔
@MetasofGotham you nearly made me piss my pants you heathen -haunter
Dragoon @dragonofthewest
@MetasofGotham They’re at it again
We only live once @kathryn_nellson
@dragonofthewest Somebody get the spray bottle
~~~
I touched the butt @MetasofGotham ✔
@GCPD_Official come get ur criminals -haunter
[Attached image is a selfie of Haunter making a duck face at the camera, a pile of goons tied together with zip ties and webs behind him. Cat-Tastrophe is behind them making a silly face, Spiderman standing to the side and grinning at the camera.]
Retweeted by Soarin’ @RRstan_3379 and 27,657 more
Queen of Mean @iheartlesbians
@MetasofGotham oml
f joker @justdiejoker
@MetasofGotham Based
Gotham City Police Department @GCPD_Official ✔
@MetasofGotham please call 911, we’ll be with you promptly
I touched the butt @MetasofGotham ✔
@GCPD_Official i did, the operator thought i was joking and hung up. -haunter
Spidey @spiderman_spiderman334
@MetasofGotham are you serious
nope @smallishavacado
@MetasofGotham @GCPD_Official TRAIN YOUR OPERATORS BETTER WTF
Gotham City Police Department @GCPD_Official ✔
@MetasofGotham Police are en route, I’ll be dealing with this operator personally. -Commissioner Gordon
I touched the butt @MetasofGotham ✔
@GCPD_Official finally -haunter
~~~
Petey @peterparker
Genuinely why do so many people stan Bruce Wayne so hard??? I need answers
priyanka @2000_priyanka
@peterparker He paid off my student loans
natalie @aureliajs
@peterparker He gave me a job after vicky from the gazette shoved me
Petey @peterparker
@2000_priyanka @aureliajs No further explanation needed, I am now okay with at least two billionaires
priyanka @2000_priyanka
@peterparker Who’s the other one?
Petey @peterparker
@2000_priyanka you wouldn’t know him, he usually keeps to himself but he likes to throw money at charities and he let me intern under him for a while
~~~
Catastrophe! @MetasofGotham ✔
Hey does anybody know if the Bats have social media? I have a very important question to ask Signal. -Cat
weee minecraft @strangeandhyperfixated22
@MetasofGotham @oracle_of_delphi you’re being summoned
Oracle @oracle_of_delphi
@MetasofGotham What’s the question?
Catastrophe! @MetasofGotham ✔
@oracle_of_delphi Hi again! Here’s the question: With Signal’s control of light, can he make a spotlight on someone like in a performance? -Cat
duck it up @carter_cooley_3
@MetasofGotham wdym again!??!
Oracle @oracle_of_delphi
@MetasofGotham In theory yes, why?
Catastrophe! @MetasofGotham ✔
@oracle_of_delphi Call me, I’ll explain -Cat
weee minecraft @strangeandhyperfixated22
@MetasofGotham Lowkey ominous but I’m willing to see how this plays out.
~~~
tired @depressionbucket
@iheartlesbians @RRstan_3379 GUYS
[Attached short video is taken from the ground, recording the roof of a 5-story hotel across the street. Cat-Tastrophe is singing into a hairbrush turned temporary microphone, and he’s surprisingly good at it. Signal hangs from a taller building next to it via grapple, spotlight shining from his hand. Camera quickly pans to the ground, where distracted goons are being taken out one by one by Spiderman, an invisible Haunter, and Spoiler. Cameraman appears to be in a group of hostages.]
Retweeted by Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔, Dick Grayson @FlyingGraysons1 ✔ and 107,890 more
Queen of Mean @iheartlesbians
@depressionbucket WHATWHATWHAT
Soarin’ @RRstan_3379
@depressionbucket are you okay!? are you alive!? please be alive i dont wanna pay for a funeral
tired @depressionbucket
@RRstan_3379 IT’S OKAY I’M ALIVE SPIDERMAN SAVED ME also waited until I was home to post
Soarin’ @RRstan_3379
@depressionbucket thank fuck
Queen of Mean @iheartlesbians
@depressionbucket Explains Cat-Tastrophe’s question earlier. Also look your famous!
Haunter is the best @MetasofGotham ✔
@depressionbucket Can you dm that to us please? -Spiderman
tired @depressionbucket
@MetasofGotham I gotchu
~~~
Honeybee @bea_multon_here
Anybody wanna place bets on how long it’ll take for the Metas of Gotham to get absorbed into the Batclan?
Spook’ems @spookybatarang_
@bea_multon_here I give it a week tops
super Something @no_gender_cretin
@spooky_batarang_ eh I doubt it, they’re pretty stubborn. i’d say like 4 months
drop it like its hot @fallin4you_help
@no_gender_cretin no way in hell they’re taking that long, there’s way too many Bats to avoid it. I’ll say 2 months.
Honeybee @bea_multon_here
@fallin4you_help I think it’ll be closer to 2 and a half months, they’re pretty good at annoying Batman
drop it like its hot @fallin4you_help
@bea_multon_here so are all the bat kids, that doesn’t mean anything
tired @depressionbucket
@bea_multon_here I wanna say like six months just because they’ve avoided it for so long already.
River @riverside_wonder668
@bea_multon_here 2-3 weeks maybe?
dancedance babeeey @xXDark_ReunionXx
@bea_multon_here I’m gonna say 2 more months of doing their own thing and then Batman drags them into the fold
Honeybee @bea_multon_here
@bea_multon_here alright pretty good guesses all around, the person who’s right gets 10 bucks from all of us. Now we wait.
~~~
Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔
@MetasofGotham What’s your guys’ favorite songs and artists? I need some recs for a charity event.
scarecrow is a bitch baby man @MetasofGotham ✔
@TimDrakeCEO You’re asking US for songs? Why? -Cat
Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔
@MetasofGotham The charity event’s for teenagers and you guys are currently the hottest thing with teens in Gotham so here we are.
scarecrow is a bitch baby man @MetasofGotham ✔
@TimDrakeCEO i would say teenagers in general but yeah we can give you some songs -haunter
scarecrow is a bitch baby man @MetasofGotham ✔
@TimDrakeCEO i like bbno$s stuff, pretty boppy and fun to listen to -haunter
scarecrow is a bitch baby man @MetasofGotham ✔
@TimDrakeCEO Uh, idk, probably Hamilton? Hadestown and Wicked have good songs too -Cat
scarecrow is a bitch baby man @MetasofGotham ✔
@TimDrakeCEO Olivia Rodrigo and Chappell Roan! Especially Chappell Roan, her stuff is good. Though you may want to keep in mind the swear words in some of the songs -Spiderman
Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔
@MetasofGotham Cool thanks
~~~
Ghost Investigation Ward @GuysInWhite33258
The Ghost Investigation Ward has officially arrived in Gotham City! Report any ghost sightings to us, we’ll keep you safe.
Soarin’ @RRstan_3379
@GuysInWhite33258 fuck you
Honeybee @bea_multon_here
@GuysInWhite33258 GET OUT OF OUR CITY
f joker @justdiejoker
@GuysInWhite33258 fuck off and die
Queen of Mean @iheartlesbians
@GuysInWhite33258 I hope the Bats kick your asses so hard you run with your tails between your legs and never come back
super Something @no_gender_cretin
@GuysInWhite33258 I’m not from Gotham but LEAVE GOTHAM ALONE
drop it like its hot @fallin4you_help
@GuysInWhite33258 i actually want joker to kill you and thats saying something
Spidey @spiderman_spiderman334
@GuysInWhite33258 pathetic bitches get their white suits stained red
weee minecraft @strangeandhyperfixated22
@GuysInWhite33258 You leave our people alone assholes!
tired @depressionbucket
@GuysInWhite33258 we’re keeping our ghosts go away
dancedance babeeey @xXDark_ReunionXx
@GuysInWhite33258 Not from Gotham but I already hate you, LEAVE OUR BOYS ALONE
Spook’ems @spookybatarang_
@GuysInWhite33258 go fuck yourselves
River @riverside_wonder668
@GuysInWhite33258 Anybody got lighters and gasoline? We could go set their vans on fire
nope @smallishavacado
@riverside_wonder668 on it
duck it up @carter_cooley_3
@GuysInWhite33258 If the bats dont kick your asses gothamites will get lost
We only live once @kathryn_nellson
@GuysInWhite33258 the worst of the worst omllll
Dragoon @dragonofthewest
@GuysInWhite33258 you guys suck go AWAY
~~~
Ghost Support Group @MetasofGotham ✔
alright which one of you started the van fire -haunter
~~~
we didn’t start the fire @MetasofGotham ✔
@TimDrakeCEO How’d the event go? -Cat
Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔
@MetasofGotham The music was a hit, had to censor some swear words but everyone thought it was cool.
we didn’t start the fire @MetasofGotham ✔
@TimDrakeCEO Yay, avoided the dumb school dance music! -Spiderman
Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔
@MetasofGotham And thank fuck for that, I’ve had enough of those
steph @stephanie_brown
@TimDrakeCEO same those were so awkward
Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔
@stephanie_brown So glad we’re friends now and never have to do that again
~~~
Conner @conner_kent
@MetasofGotham got a question for you
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@conner_kent Go for it. -Cat
Conner @conner_kent
@MetasofGotham who’s your favorite JL member?
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@conner_kent It’s a tie between Green Lantern and the Flash, both funny, both make heroing fun. -Cat
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@conner_kent wonder woman, hands down, i would let her step on me -haunter
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@conner_kent Can it be someone who’s associated with the Justice League but not officially part of it? -Spiderman
Conner @conner_kent
@MetasofGotham yeah sure
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@conner_kent Then Superboy, I like his energy and his style. -Spiderman
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@MetasofGotham you just say that cause you think hes hot you bisexual disaster -haunter
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@MetasofGotham I do not!!! He’s genuinely really cool!!! -Spiderman
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@MetasofGotham Is he wrong though? Superboy is hot -Cat
Superboy @superboy_official ✔
@MetasofGotham well hello there [eyes emoji]
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@superboy_official HI??? -Spiderman
~~~
Honeybee @bea_multon_here
@MetasofGotham any particular reason why you have that as your name?
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
@bea_multon_here There’s a story with this one, gonna start a thread -Spiderman
~~~
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
Okay so @bea_multon_here For some context this happened while we were in civvies -Spiderman
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
The three of us went to the bookstore on 7th, and Cat was looking around at the comics. He was all pouty and disappointed because we didn’t have the money to buy any of the comics but he was having fun reading them. I was talking with Haunter when this dude in a fancy suit walks down our (1/?)
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
aisle, casually perusing the selection. At one point in the conversation our money struggles come up (yes we’re fine, no don’t send us money). Cat mentions that he misses comic books, since he lost all of his when he moved to Gotham. Fancy suit man sidles up to us, and we quickly realize that (2/?)
bruce wayne’s okay actually @MetasofGotham ✔
he’s Bruce Wayne. Dude just pulls 500 dollars from his wallet, tucks it in Cat’s shirt pocket, and tries to walk away. Cat tries to return it but Mr. Wayne isn’t having it, says he insists, and bolts out of the store. All three of us are floored. So yeah, Mr. Wayne’s okay actually. -Spiderman (3/3)
Honeybee @bea_multon_here
@MetasofGotham very typical Bruce move, makes sense.
duck it up @carter_cooley_3
@MetasofGotham does this mean Brucie knows your guys’s identities?
Tim Drake @TimDrakeCEO ✔
@carter_cooley_3 If he does remember this encounter he most likely wouldn’t say anything because he forgot to ask their names.
~~~
Spook’ems @spookybatarang_
@MetasofGotham Question, are you guys born and bred Gothamites or did you got adopted by the city later?
Spiderman is the Best @MetasofGotham ✔
@spookybatarang_ We were adopted later, thanks for taking us in and letting us stay! -Cat
Queen of Mean @iheartlesbians
@MetasofGotham Huh, I never would’ve guessed. Y’all seem like true Gothamites to me.
Haunter is the Best @MetasofGotham ✔
@iheartlesbians Really? I feel like I’m barely passing most days -Spiderman
Cat-Tastrophe is the Best @MetasofGotham ✔
@iheartlesbians thats literally the highest compliment you couldve give me thank you -haunter
tired @depressionbucket
@MetasofGotham in case no one has said it yet, welcome to Gotham! We have good bagels
Spiderman is the Best @MetasofGotham ✔
@iheartlesbians I just tried one the other day! It was purr-fect! -Cat
Cat-Tastrophe is the Best @MetasofGotham ✔
@MetasofGotham cat no -haunter
Spiderman is the Best @MetasofGotham ✔
@MetasofGotham Cat yes, >:3 -Cat
River @riverside_wonder668
@MetasofGotham oh no
Soarin’ @RRstan_3379
@MetasofGotham I’ll get the spray bottle
