Chapter Text
It had been 2 days since I had woken up. Feeling bad was an understatement. It was a struggle to walk and function the right side of my body. The antibiotics were helping a little but not as much as I wanted to to.
I was bedridden, I had got up to go to the bathroom a couple times but that was it. I was bored and needed to do something productive. I felt as if anytime I tried doing something my body would crash, but while in bed I was perfectly fine.
Unfortunately, I had permanent damage to my face with slight paralysis and anisocoria in my eye. Great more things wrong with me.
I was reading a mystery novel in bed since it was the only entertainment I had other than binge watch The Simpsons on repeat on the hospital tv. I heard a knock on the door, assuming it was a nurse until the last person I wanted to see showed up. Munakata.
He let himself in and closed the door. “Good to see you in a… tolerable condition…” he spoke gingerly
*Tolerable? * Excuse me? How do I answer that.
“I wanted to speak to you about the branches and the future foundation’s current situation”
Now of all times? Like sorry mate take a look at the state of me.
“Yes, I’m assuming you’ve spoken to some of the others before my input” I said wanting him to fuck off as soon as possible, genuinely he was the last person I wanted to see.
“Yes, I’ve spoken to Togami, and he believes you’re the best person to speak to about this matter.” He spoke firm. Being a detective meant you analysed every tone, stutter, voice level and word that another says. Byakuya obviously wanted munakata to speak to me instead of him. I cannot say much I was gonna do the same.
“Well… I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’d say once the government gets back on their feet, we can become a small branch within that to help mainly despair victims.” I spoke firmly.
“We’ve lost a good few members aswell. Miracle you’re alive or I wouldn’t know what to do.” Miracle wasn’t the word I’d use but alright.
“I assumed you’d become the chairman since you were the most obvious choice.” I spoke hoping he would take my word for it so I could leave the future foundation
“I’ve proposed Naegi to take it” he spoke cutting me off and certain that, that is what he wanted.
Makoto. He’d never take it. He would do anything in his power to prevent that from happening. Yes, I can understand why munakata would choose him, he’d be my second choice. But he doesn’t have that mental capability in general and especially at the moment to take that role on. I’d also hate to see Makoto take the job too.
“I wouldn’t have said Naegi” I spoke wanting to out my point across
“He’s the most logical answer”
“Yes, but he’s incapable of taking on a job like that.” I cut him off which he wasn’t impressed with.
“How so?” He spoke in a condescending manner which sounded like he knew I had no logical reason as to why he should not take it.
“He’s a good, not a brilliant role model and a very good representative of the future foundation, but he doesn’t have chairman experience, and I think the last thing he wants right now is to deal with more despair.”
“Who would you say instead then? Because my next option was you”
“No.” I was never going to be chairman. Fuck no. “Togami is who I’d say alongside yourself.”
“Togami rejected. That’s why I think Naegi would suit the job, considering he’s a perfect type of person who can spread hope” he spoke
I went to speak but the door knocked and was opened slightly checking inside.
Speak of the devil.
I hadn’t seen Makoto since after I had woken up and he needed space to get used to the fact I was alive. I knew his self esteem has dropped severely and couldn’t mentally handle the fact I was alive, I knew he blamed himself, but I owed it to him
“Naegi. Doesn’t surprise me you’re here” Munakata spoke judgmentally.
“I just wanted to check in Kirigiri… that’s all…” he spoke quiet. He had it very obvious he was upset, and I knew if Munakata had one more complaint about him, he’d break down.
Munakata scoffed and went to speak again until I stopped him. “Can you leave the two of us alone for the time being if that’s alright. We can catch up on this conversation another time”
Munakata looked at Makoto awkwardly, accepting my request and walked out. Makoto then stepped in and stood there awkwardly holding white lilies in his hand. I knew he was extremely emotional, so I had to walk to eggshells around him and be very conscious of what I was going to say to him.
Halfway through thought he spoke up. “How are you feeling?” He tried sounding as nice as possible.
“Im ok, could be better but better at least” I spoke with a little more hope in my voice to provide comfort. “They for me?”
He glanced at the lilies that looked like he was hiding them from me. “Heh- yea… I felt it was just something nice to do…”
He placed them on the beside table beside my bed. “Are Lilies, ok? I wasn’t sure what would suit”
“No, their fine thank you for the thought though” I looked at them and felt a bit better at the gesture
“Should I know your favourite flower for next time?” He spoke and smiled gently
“Well, aren’t you curious”
He chuckled slightly, which made him smile with his teeth which showed more comfort. Plus, it was cute when he did it and was contagious.
“It’s hibiscus, but you wouldn’t find them in bouquets, so iris and roses are your best bet.”
“Yea, iris is quite nice isn’t it” he spoke
“Yea they are”
We went into an awkward silence. I knew he had a lot to say but wouldn’t say it to make sure I wasn’t offended or upset about him asking.
“You can ask me anything if you want, I’m sure you’ve questions.”
He took a deep breath “is the poison, permanent? Like will it show forever?”
I knew he was struggling to look at me because of the obvious poison. There were a lot of reasons why, I looked bad, scary to a little kid. I wasn’t sure of the answer but if the poison was there forever, he’d never look at me the same way again. Which hurt.
“I don’t know… I think it will go away eventually” I said with some unspoken prayer that it would go away someday.
“You hungry?” He spoke not wanting to dwell on the subject.
“No, I’ve eaten” I spoke not looking at him. “Thank you though”
He nodded and we went silent and awkward again. After a minute he spoke up again. “Why was Munakata here?”
“He wanted to talk about the future foundation, about the future chairperson” I spoke with as much honesty I could give.
“Was he telling you he’d take it?” He asked now leaning against the wall beside the bed.
“No, he wanted to know who should go for it. I said it should be him” I truthfully said
“Really? Probably just wants some sort of approval. Were you both arguing about who’s the best bet? I felt some sort of tension when I came in” he spoke calmly and definitely was in a more comfortable state.
“Yea, pretty much. I disagree with who he should put forward and tried defending my opinion” I didn’t look at him and stared at the needle in my burnt hand.
“Can relate, I’m trying to convince Komaru not to join the foundation, but they want her to join, and I feel like I can’t stop her. You haven’t met her yet, have you?”
“No, but Byakuya mentioned she’s your sister. But that’s basically what I was saying to Munakata. Why you shouldn’t be chairman” I spoke still not looking at Makoto.
“Well, he’s probably asking you about me because I said I’d take it.” He spoke now not looking at me.
I froze and looked at him. No. Hell no.
“You can’t take it- “
“I’ll take it temporarily, permanently if it’s my last hope. Unless something else comes up I’m taking it.” He spoke firmly. Tensing up.
“No, makoto you can’t take it, they’ll…”
“They’ll what Kiri. I’ve all the reasons to take it, I’ll fix everything that was done wrong last time”
“Yoi just mentioned how you did want your sister joining the foundation and that’s exactly what I’m stopping you from doing”
He sighed “you’ve a point. But unless something comes up, I’ll take the role.”
I went silent again. As did he. It was an unbearable silence. We still had so much to speak about. Everything that’s happened to us. But neither of us could start that conversation. It’s like we’re destined to be screwed over by our own private barriers that we both can’t control because we’re too scared to talk about our own and each others' feelings.
“I’ll see you later” he walked out leaving me alone. Not looking at me and not letting me stop him. Got I had no clue what to do with this man. I cared about him too much. And everytime I got to close to someone they were just taken away from me. I was scared of that happening to makoto. I loved him too much to let him go or get close to him.
I looked at the lilies on the table and sighed in frustration. He had been the only person I wanted to speak to, and it was awkward again. I picked up my book again to keep my mind of the one person who my world started to centre around. And tried to push that person back even further.