Chapter Text
Peter sighs. Of course. Whoever is orchestrating this really pulled out all the stops. And at this point, there’s only three people with the connections to make this happen - Tony, Deadpool, and Shuri. All things considered, it was probably Wade.
Peter realizes he’s been staring (more like glaring) directly at Peter for a few seconds now. He rolls his eyes and greets him.
“Hey. Aren’t you usually in the chem labs when you’re here?”
“Yeah, but I wanted to se you sooner so I blackmailed Harley for the tour schedule.”
“Ah. Did you use the time he spilled coffee on Nat’s favorite shirt or when he replaced all of Clint’s arrows with uncooked spaghetti?”
“No, I used the time when he reprogrammed FRIDAY to use slang.”
Both the Peters huff a laugh at the memory. FRIDAY was spouting ‘sybau’ all day whenever Tony would complain. It was amazing.
“How are you and Wade doing?” Peter asks, changing the subject. Andrew currently had a thing with Deadpool, even though they were technically from different universes- his didn’t have a Wade Wilson.
“Good. We’re doin good. We just went to see the Kimetsu no Yaiba movie last weekend.”
“Oh, was it good? I was thinking about going to see it with Harry and Ned.”
And if you, dear reader, are wondering why our protagonist is suddenly not super embarrassed about this, well, let’s just say that Peter has, at this point, stopped caring. He turns around and gives a blinding smile to the class.
“This is Peter Parker.”
General sounds of confusion from the crowd or AcaDec members. Cindy is the first to speak up.
“I thought you were Peter Parker???”
“I am.”
Unsurprisingly, that doesn’t help. And unfortunately for Peter, that means he has to explain it.
“I am Peter Benjamin. He is Peter Andrew. Toby should be in the chem labs- right?” He looks to Andrew for assurance. Andy nods, and Peter continues. “He’s me but from another universe.” At this, the clamor grows louder, and with good reason. These kids just found out that the multiverse was real, of course they’re freaked out. Peter - our Peter - just smiles almost - fondly??? - and turns to Andrew. They make small talk, catch up on how they’ve been, and all the other things people who are basically the same person talk about.
Of course, Harley chooses that moment to usher everyone along.
“Right, let’s get going then! don’t want to bother Dr. Parker anymore, right Peter?”
Peter, completely fed up with pretending to be meek, rolls his eyes and snarks right back, temporarily forgetting he has enemies in the room.
“Last I checked, I didn’t have a doctorate or a PhD, but yes, by all means leave me alone!” Hobie chuckles, but Harley fixes him with a deadpan stare. The boy smiles sweetly, and starts to say something else, but is distracted when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. When he turns to face it, he’s met with Shuri. His friend is running full speed directly at him, and he can’t help but to laugh as she envelops him in a crushing hug.
“Peter! I missed you so much! I thought you had died!”
“Shuri you literally saw me last week for fgnbfta(af)”He overpronounces each letter of the acronym, saying the letters individually. Flash, still slightly shellshocked, is the first to speak.
“What’s- uh- fuck- what’s af- fgnbaf?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?” Peter and Shuri say in sync. Then Shuri adds; “And it’s fgnbfta(af).”
Cindy’s curiosity gets the better of her, and she repeats Flash’s question.
“Well, Cindy,” Peter says with a warm smile, a direct and intentional contrast from how he answered Flash, “fgnbfta(af) stands for family game night but for the Avengers and friends.”
“That’s… what? I’m somehow more confused now..”
“Glad I could help!” Peter gives her a brilliant smile, then turns to Andrew and says, “well, it was nice catching up with you, but I have to go! Good luck with the web grenades!” He pauses. “Shuri, you wanna come with?”
The girl turns away from Peter just to whip her head back around at him. “WOULD I?! Heck yeah!”
More whispers sound among the AcaDec team, but Peter doesn’t really care. He steps into the elevator, everyone else following- nobody really seems to care that they haven’t toured the engineering labs yet, so the group goes to lunch, Wakandan princess in tow.
</~/(8)\~\>
They’re in line for food when Flash appears in line behind Peter.
“So you wanna tell me what that stunt was with the actors in the biology lab, Penis?”
Shuri turns to Flash from in front of Peter.
“Shut the fuck up, Eugene.”
Peter snickers, then shuts up at the glare Mrs. Elliot gives him. He’s probably in deep shit by now, but he honestly doesn’t care. He can’t change her mind, and it won’t be difficult to prove her wrong when the time comes. Plus, Tony can-
Tony.
He’s gonna have to watch out for his mentor, because he knows that Tony will make an appearance at some point, it’s just a matter of time.
For now though, he has to deal with Flash. He turns around fixes Flash with an unimpressed stare.
“What stunt, Eugene?”
Flash rolls his eyes and starts yapping about god knows what, but Peter’s not paying attention.
His mind starts to wander.
He wonders if Thor would know what Flash is taking about. Would Loki?
He freezes as he sees a slight disturbance in the air entering the room, and he zones his hearing in on that area. Peter hears someone walking - it sounds like heels, and he immediately knows who it is. Loki. Peter can practically hear the smile on the god’s face.
He sighs, and pays attention to the line again. It’s almost his turn to get food.
When he finally does get food, he smiles, thanks the woman by name - Shelly - and walks off with a double portion of pupusas. He sees Flash eyeing him, but Peter honestly doesn’t care. He sits down at his table next to Hobie, Harley, Shuri, MJ and Ned, smiles, and starts eating. As he expected, it doesn’t take long for whispers and gasps to ripple through the crowd of students. Peter turns to see Wanda walking towards him, holding a garish Spider-Man themed lunchbox. He rolls his eyes, then stands up and greets her.
“Hey, Wanda.”
“Hey, Pete. I brought your lunch!” She grins widely, then thrusts the lunch towards him. He smiles tiredly at her, but takes the lunchbox.
“Why don’t you come sit with us?” He asks, tilting his head at her and giving her what he hopes is a convincing grin. Wanda rolls her eyes, but sits down next to MJ and Shuri.
The rest of lunch goes surprisingly smoothly, something Peter was not expecting, what with the dirty looks Flash keeps sending him from across the cafeteria. Ned mentions something about robots and vision, then catches himself and shoots a guilty look at Wanda. The witch just laughs and brushes it off.
“It’s fine - was it Ned?” Ned nods his confirmation. “You’re all good - Peter and Shuri make those jokes far too often for me to be offended by them.” Ned turns to stare at Peter. Peter just smiles and responds,
“He’s literally a child! A baby! He’s barely three years old!”
Shuri grins.
“One time we got him to get really into Lego Duplo.” Peter laughs at the memory. Tony had come back from his work trip to see palaces, towers and cathedrals made out of Duplos. The look on his face was worth having to clean it all up.
They make conversation for the rest of the lunch period, and Peter briefly forgets his oncoming doom. Eventually, Harley decides it’s time to move on. He and Hobie lead the group to the elevator, and they take it up to the 46th floor - the chem labs.
As soon as they step of the elevator, Peter immediately catches a glimpse of the other Peter Parker, Toby. When the man turns around to see him, he waves and smiles. Peter returns the smile. The rest of his acadec team, including Flash, see this and give Peter weird looks. Of course, Flash is the one to say something.
“Yo, Penis! Why are you waving to an intern like you know them? You don’t even work here, stop pretending you do!”
Peter sighs. When will it end? He turns around, facing flash, and points a cold stare directly at him, then turning around back to his conversation with Wanda and Shuri about the benefits of car fresheners, interjecting to poke fun at his bully.
“Did you guys hear something? I would say it was just the wind, but we’re inside.”
As if on cue, three teenagers burst around the corner, hurtling toward their tour group, a tired-looking Miguel O’Hara following them.
“Sorry Benjy, I tried to stop them, but they insisted.”
Peter smiles fondly at the kids - despite being the same age as them, he mentors them. He smiles at them, uncaring of the eyes on them.
“Hey Miles, hello Gwen, hi Pav!”
The three teens smile at him, obviously glad to see him. They all greet Peter in various different ways, then turn to Hobie, grinning menacingly. The Brit eyes them suspiciously.
“No.” He finally says.
“Say it.” Comes the response.
“Nope.”
“Sayyyy itttt,”
“You can’t make me.”
Suddenly, a small robotic spider drops down from the ceiling. It hangs in front of Hobie’s face for a moment, then projects a hologram. The face on it is one Peter knows well, having conversed with her about tech many a time. Despite her being the youngest, she’s still the smartest. Hobie does not look as excited to see her.
“Hello, Peni.”
“Hi, Hobie! I have some bad news for you.” He raises an eyebrow. “I can make you say it.” Hobie’s face pales.
“No.” It’s said with less finality this time.
“Yes.” Peni says, with a grin on her face. Remember that time you-“
“Nope! I’ll do it! I’ll do it!” Hobie says, raising his arms in defense. He opens his mouth, and right as he’s about to say the thing, Peter cuts in and saves him.
“Miggy, my man!” Peter walks over to Miguel, grinning like a maniac.
“Nope. That’s not my name.” Peter turns around to face his class.
“Guys, this is Miggy. Don’t call him anything else.” He motions to Miguel. “Miggy. Got it?”
The class nods in unison.
Gwen, Miles and Pav decide to walk with them, and apparently so does Loki, because Peter can still hear the heels following them, even though there’s no one there. After a bit of walking, they reach the chem labs, where Peter knows Tobey spends most of his time.
Tobey being Peter Tobias Parker, the oldest of the trio. Peter walks in and immediately catches sight of him- the other spider also seems to click the moment Peter enters, as he turns around immediately with a smile on his face.
“Benjy! My youngest brother! How are you on this fine morning?”
“Tobey, it’s one pm.”
“Shit, really? Guess I’ve been working for longer than I thought.”
Peter doesn’t believe him for a second.
“FRIDAY, how long has Tobey been awake?”
“Peter Tobias Parker has been without sleep for 36 hours and 47 minutes.”
Peter looks at Tobey triumphantly, only for his fate fall when he realizes who’s behind him.
“Did you drag him in here? You know he doesn’t like it!”
“Nope. He wanted to come of his own accord.”
Peter levels a glare at James Buchanan Barnes, who is grinning mischievously.
“What Are You Doing Here,” Peter says as he stalks towards the man, murder in his eyes. “You don’t even like it in here! Why would you-“ Peter’s gaze narrows as his eyes land on the vibranium arm. “Howdid you even- okay nope. Just let me fix that and you can get out of here.” He speaks the last part through gritted teeth. It’s not that he doesn’t want Bucky here, he’s already got a god following him, four other spider-men (not that his class knows that) and he’s met two of him from other universes. But a full on Avenger that everyone knows might spur Flash to do something stupid. And that’s the last thing Peter wants. So he needs the world-famous man with the vibranium arm to leave.
Peter motions for tools from Tobey. The man immediately knows what he needs, and hands him the correct tools. Peter hums as he works, blocking out the rest of his class. He squints at the damage done to the arm. It almost looks-
“James Buchanan Barnes. Did you get Sam to damage your arm on purpose so you could come bother me?”
“Uh. No?”
“Wrong answer. FRIDAY, call Nat and tell her to take him to timeout.”
“Calling Мать-паук…”
Peter takes the time to knock out Bucky with a spare widows bite he keeps on him- the super-soldier will wake up in a minute or two with a headache, but he’ll be fine.
Soon enough, Nat’s voice cuts through the speakers.
“Hey kiddo, whaddya need?”
“Can you take Buchanan into the timeout room? He purposely damaged his vibranium arm so he could bother me.”
Peter can hear the smirk in her voice as she confirms. Maybe it wasn’t shush a good idea to cal the black widow in. So much for not interacting with Avengers.
“Penni Parker! I cannot believe you!”
Shit. He’d completely forgotten Mrs. Elliot was there. That complicates things.
“You are an embarrassment to our school! I cannot believe you have the nerve to go up to an Avenger and insult him! Do you know what you’ve done? And the acting like you know people! You don’t work here!” The woman’s face gets steadily redder and she looks over him, spitting. “You will be expelled and I will call your parents.”
At this, Peter snorts.
“My parents are dead.”
But of course, she doesn’t believe him.
“Don’t use that bullshit with me, Miss Parker. Your parents are fine. Stop pretending they aren’t to get attention.” She grabs his arm, her grip vice-like. “Cut. It. Out.” Peter wants Tony. “You don’t have an internship here. You don’t even deserve a place in this school. Do you really think that anybody here actually gives a shit about you? No. So stop lying about it.” Suddenly, he is not having such a good time anymore. He feels like crying.
Peter just wants his dad.
<~-/^0^\-~>
Nat arrives not long after, immediately clocking Peter’s distress. She approaches Mrs. Elliot, and asks to talk to Peter privately.
Peter’s teacher glares at him as he walks around the corner.
“Peter, are you okay? I heard what she said and-“ She’s cut off when Peter wraps his arms around her, burying his face into her side. “Oh, Детеныш паука, it’s okay. Do you want to go home?” Peter shakes his head and mumbles into her shirt. “I didn’t catch that, sweetheart. Could you say it again?” He lifts his head slightly to say,
“I want dad.” Her face crumples in worry.
“Oh, Детеныш паука, I know, but he’s away right now. I’m here for you.”
(-/:8:\-)
On the other side of the world, green sparkles appear in front of Tony Stark, and he is livid.