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1. Where The Duck Is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Explicit
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • F/M
   • Complete Work

   28 Jul 2025

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
   • Hermione Granger
   • Draco Malfoy
   • Minerva McGonagall
   • Harry Potter
   • Ginny Weasley
   • George Weasley
   • Molly Weasley
   • Ron Weasley
   • James Potter
   • Albus Severus Potter
   • Dean Thomas
   • Theodore Nott
   • Justin Finch-Fletchley
   • Zacharias Smith
   • Kingsley Shacklebolt
   • Original Characters
   • Luna Lovegood
   • Blaise Zabini
   • Oliver Wood
   • Narcissa Black Malfoy
   • Lucius Malfoy
   • Magical Portraits (Harry Potter)
   • Holden Holworth
   • POV Hermione Granger
   • POV Draco Malfoy
   • POV Special Guest
   • Ministry of Magic
   • Ministry of Magic Employee Draco Malfoy
   • Ministry of Magic Employee Harry Potter
   • Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship
   • MACUSA | Magical Congress of the United States of America
   • Nifflers (Harry Potter)
   • Has anyone seen Minerva McGonagall?
   • The Temple of Doom
   • The Cave of Humiliation
   • The Nightmare Nursery
   • Lady Chapels
   • Auror Harry Potter
   • Auror Draco Malfoy
   • Auror Hermione Granger
   • Quiddy
   • Actual Niffler
   • Idiotic Chuckle Brothers
   • Theo is a Little Shit
   • Portkeys (Harry Potter)
   • Please don't drink the wine provided by Icelandic Legend Erla
   • The Hobbit - Freeform
   • Bribery
   • Inappropriate Use of Malfoy Signet Ring (Harry Potter)
   • Remember The Rules Of Wine Night
   • There is a lot of alcohol consumption in this fic
   • Demiguises (Harry Potter)
   • Deb's has permission to put you under a vest
   • No Jacuzzi's were harmed (only defiled)
   • Did Holworth join a vampire cult again?
   • Please address Theo by his official title (and refrain from making Doctor Who jokes)
   • George Weasley will steal your bra
   • Inappropriate use of the Inappropriate Use Of A Malfoy Signet Ring Hashtag
   • This fic is so HEA it’s like being punched in the face with a slightly sarcastic Valentine’s Day card

   Summary

   Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

   Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

   Warnings:
   - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.
   - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.
   - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.
   - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   160,702

   Chapters:

   26/26

   Collections:

   9

   Comments:

   1,828

   Kudos:

   4,570

   Bookmarks:

   2,032

   Hits:

   236,174