Chapter Text
caligulasAquarium (CA) began trolling cuttlefishCuller (CC)
CA: fef
CA: fef help
CA: fef this is literally the wworst please
CA: fef
CA: cod fuckin dammit fef i swwear if youre wwith captor
CA: look
CA: i really need your advvice right noww
CA: are you there fef
CA: fef
CA: fef
CA: fef
CC: W)(ats wrong?? Are you ok???
CA: fef i made the biggest mistake a my life
CA: i
CA: i cant say it
CC: Sure you can!
CA: ok
CA: i may havve…
CA: i mean i might havve
CA: pailed kar
CA: fef
CA: are you there fef
CC: W)(at? I didn’t know you felt that way about )(im! 38D
CA: wait
CC: You’re flus)(ed for Karkat? And )(e feels the same way about you? Im so )(appy for you!
CA: shit
CA: no
CA: not like that its
CA: i
CA: im in heat
CC: W)(at?
CA: i
CA: fuck
CA: i messed up fef
CC: W)(at did you do??
CA: i pailed kar
CA: i didnt mean to i swwear
CC: )(ow do you go to a friends house IN )(EAT and ‘not mean to’ pail t)(em?
CA: fuck
CA: i didnt knoww i wwas in heat
CA: it wwas an accident
CC: T)(at’s… a lot to take in...
CA: i knoww hes a lowwblood fef i wouldnt havve
CA: if id knowwn
CA: you do believve me dont you
CA: fef?
CA: fef
CA: fef you knoww i wwouldnt do that
CA: fef
cuttlefishCuller (CC) ceased trolling caligulasAquarium (CA)
CA: fuck
Eridan swiped at his eyes, ignoring the way his ruined pants clung to his body, growing stiff and sticky as he hurried across Karkat’s lawnring, desperate to get back to his hive and clean up. He was having trouble breathing regularly, his breath catching in his throat as he tried not to think about what had just happened.
Eridan made it back to his hive without incident, shucking his once-favorite pants and stumbling into his ablution block before flicking on the water in his ablution trap and diving beneath the spray, scrubbing at his body like he could somehow wash away what he’d done. But it seemed that no matter how hard he scrubbed it wasn’t enough. Eridan realized he was crying, but he couldn’t stop, couldn’t stop washing, couldn’t get clean, couldn’t…
Dropping to the floor, Eridan kept frantically scrubbing at himself, until he couldn’t even find the energy to scream and he curled in on himself, the water pounding down on him as he drifted off into a horrorterror filled sleep.
Karkat slowly edged into wakefulness, feeling sated and content in a way he hadn’t felt in an impossibly long time. As he became more aware of his surroundings, he began to feel cold. This sensation was quickly followed by the realization that he was lying stark naked in a puddle of slurry, more of the stuff had dried on his thighs, stomach, and… Karkat edged up onto his elbows, feeling twinges of pain and stiffness. His satisfied feeling drained away, quickly replaced by a cold, numb anger.
Karkat lurched to his feet and pounded into his ablution block, cleaning himself as quickly and clinically as possible before hunting down some cleaning supplies and setting to work. He found his previously discarded clothes and decided they were not salvageable. He then turned his attention to the floor, anger mounting as he violently mopped the floor. Oh, he was disgusting, wasn’t he? Fucking. Disgusting. Eridan probably would have rather pailed any other troll in existence, but no, thanks to fucking destiny or some shit, he’d ended up pailing the most disgusting troll in the universe.
And Karkat couldn’t even blame him for leaving him lying there, not when he knew how disgusting it must have been for a blood purist like Eridan to realize that he’d pailed a mutant-blood. Part of him wondered what Eridan would do with that knowledge. The rest of him was too blinded by rage to care.
Karkat managed to finish cleaning his hallway and respiteblock before he realized he was literally shaking with anger. He somehow ended up on the couch with a plate of food balanced in his lap, staring at a blank TV screen. Unable to find the energy to even choose a rom-com, Karkat ignored the fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he stuffed his face and tried not to think.
Eridan woke slowly, feeling cramped and uncomfortable on the floor of his ablution trap. His eyes felt itchy and heavy, and he unfolded his limbs slowly, stiffly climbing out of the trap. Several notifications from Trollian had appeared on his screen, so he opened the chat client to see who had been trolling him.
cuttlefishCuller(CC) began trolling caligulasAquarium(CA)
CC: Sorry I )(ad to go earlier
CC: Are you okay?
CC: You need to be more careful!
CC: W)(ere are you?
CC: Is Karkat t)(ere?
CC: Sollux is on )(his way to Karkat’s )(ive are you still t)(ere?
CC: )(e seems upset.
CC: I think )(e might t)(ink you planned this.
CC: I told him you didn’t.
CC: )(e’s really mad.
CC: If you’re still at Karkat’s )(ive you s)(ould probably try and leave soon.
CC: )(ello???
CA: im here
CA: i mean home
CA: in my hivve
CC: Good! I was getting worried!
CA: i left as soon as i realized wwhat happened
CC: Wait really??
CA: a course i did
CA: i wwasnt gonna stick around an let my pheromones keep messin wwith kars mind
CC: O)( well t)(at makes sense I guess
CC: You did clean up first t)(oug)(, rig)(t?
CC: Rig)(t?
CA: wwell
CC: You didn’t.
CA: i wwas panickin fef
CA: i had to get out before i did anythin wworse
CA: i wwoke up
CA: i ran
CA: noww im in my hivve tryin not to have a fuckin panic attack
CC: Let me get t)(is straig)(t.
CC: Leaving Karkat on t)(e floor in a puddle of slurry is your definition of ‘not doing anyt)(ing worse’?
CA: wwell
CA: wwhen you put it like that
CA: fuck
CC: )(old on Sollux is at Karkat’s )(ive now.
CC: )(e sounds really mad! 38(
CC: We can talk more later
cuttlefishCuller (CC) ceased trolling caligulasAquarium (CA)
CA: no but i really think im havvin a panic attack
CA: fuck
Eridan wasn’t sure if he was having a panic attack or if he was dying. All he knew was that his chest felt like he’d gone deep-sea diving, when the pressure would constrict his ribcage to just shy of the breaking-point. His bloodpusher fluttered wildly as he found his way to a chair, collapsing into it as his knees buckled. His mind seemed simultaneously far away and all-too-present. He could recall pieces of the incident, but everything seemed mixed-up and blurry, like trying to remember a dream upon waking.
Eridan leaned on his knees, head hanging as he gripped his scalp, his sharp claws digging into the soft skin near the base of his horns. “Fuck,” he hissed through his teeth, trying to focus on dragging the air into his lungs, deep into his abdomen then holding his breath for a moment before releasing it all in a whoosh. He’d gotten himself though panic attacks often enough - when he first started hunting lusii he’d been a small, terrified little wiggler. Sometimes he thought he never really stopped being a wiggler, he just got better at pretending he was all right.
After the room had stopped spinning for the most part, Eridan turned his attention back to Trollian, where a flood of messages from none other than the constant source of irritation that was Sollux Captor were waiting for him.
twinArmageddons (TA) began trolling caligulasAquarium (CA)
TA: what the fuck.
TA: what the actual fuck.
TA: youre a fuckiing a22hole.
TA: ii mean holy 2hiit.
TA: ii dont even know where two 2tart.
TA: was thii2 about FF? were you trying two get her attentiion or some 2hit?
TA: or are you really 2uch an a22hole that you diidnt even thiink about how your heat miight affect other people?
TA: you fuckiing...
TA: there are no words two adequately de2criibe the depth2 of your a22holery.
TA: you know that riight?
TA: youve alway2 been a pathetiic waste of 2pace and a complete and utter lo2er but even ii never thought iit would come two thii2.
TA: youve burned all your fuckiing bridge2 wiith the 2hiit you pulled today.
TA: ju2t 2o you know,
TA: iim telliing everyone ii know exactly what you diid, and iif theyve got even the 2liighte2t biit of 2en2e theyll never speak two you agaiin.
TA: 2o ba2iically...
TA: what iim tryiing two 2ay ii2...
TA: iif you ever go near KK agaiin, ill fuckiing cull you.
TA: ii dont care how fuckiing hot you thiink your 2hiit iis.
TA: you are liiteral 2cum.
TA: and iif ii 2ee you agaiin.
TA: you better pray 2omeone el2e wiill be there two 2top me.
TA:becau2e 2eriiously.
TA: fuck.
TA: you.
TwinArmageddons (TA) ceased trolling CaligulasAquarium (CA)
Eridan stared blankly, too worn to fully process the words on the screen, but unable to argue with the sentiments in Captor’s messages. He was scum, really. Always had been. He should have known his cycle was due. Should have checked . Should have run the other way instead of further into Karkat’s hive. Should’ve tried harder to keep Kar away, should’ve done anything but what he did do.
As he continued to sink into the depths of self-loathing, Eridan found new things to regret - how he should have cleaned up Kar’s floor, Kar’s ablution block. He should’ve made sure Kar was all right before taking off. He should have checked to make sure no one saw him (how embarrassing would it be if Kar’s lawnring neighbors saw him sneaking out all streaked with slurry...Kar was a private troll, others knowing that he and Kar had been pailing would probably be beyond mortifying for the lowblood).
And that thought brought on yet another host of regrets - Fef knew, and Sol knew, and Eridan feared that, barring some sort of intervention on Kar’s end, everyone else he knew would find out if Sollux had his way. It was more than just embarrassing - losing control like that could be seen as dangerous. He was a threat to his friends and everyone around him if he couldn’t predict or control his heat.
Not that anyone ever really wanted to hang out with him anyway, but now they had a legitimate reason to avoid him.
Eridan’s chest was getting tight again. Fuck, he’d screwed up again. Why was he such a mess? Eridan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the tears creeping down his cheeks.