Work Text:
When Golden Cheese and Smoked Cheese returned to her kingdom, it felt like a weight lifted from her shoulders.
It had not been lost or taken by the rampant Spices. Everyone was thrilled to see her. They asked about her progress in restoring their dough, and she had no updates to share, but she swore that she was still trying, and her denizens were satisfied. She told them not of the new and worrisome dangers that warranted an early return. Her new appearance was regarded kindly, and everyone was in awe of their queen’s glory. Golden Cheese regarded them graciously and said she was ready for a new era of her rule. Everyone liked the sound of that, and her greediness was praised. Mozzarella was happy to see her, and Burnt Cheese regarded her with a bow. Time had hardly passed. Nothing had changed, save her. It was as if she stepped into her chambers and emerged as a brand new Cookie. Such was the case with the most radiant queen in the Golden City.
She could feel exhaustion tugging at her dough. It felt like they had been gone far longer than the truth, and…she was tired. She wouldn’t admit it to a soul, but she was. All they had done was travel through spice storms, or fight, or discover new and terrifying things for her to worry about. Who wouldn’t be tired?
Golden Cheese didn’t say anything, instead greeting her subjects kindly. They were so excited to see her, after all.
However, once they were out of the public eye and into the privacy of her palace, Smoked Cheese watched her silently. He hadn’t spoken much since their return to the kingdom, and she could only begin to guess what he was thinking. It was often hard to tell what he was thinking, honestly, but she made an effort, much of the time.
However, he surprised her. He had been doing that a lot lately.
“Your Radiance?”
“Yes?”
“I have a request of you.”
“Is that so?” She laughed aloud. She couldn’t begin to guess. “What is it?”
Smoked Cheese shifted in place. He was unusually…hesitant to state his request to her. To be fair, it wasn’t often he did such things, so it made sense. But something about his face, a twinge of something, made her curious.
“I urge you to take some time this evening to rest,” he said. “After writing to the other Heroes.”
She wanted to laugh. She wanted to deny the need, tell Smoked Cheese that she did not need anything resembling rest. She was great!
But that would be a lie.
He mistook her silence for the disagreement she debated, and he went on. “Our impromptu journey to Beast Yeast was long and arduous,” he said, “and we fought in several tiring battles, both against Burning Spice’s armies and the weather.” He tilted his head, and a small frown appeared. Was he…worried? About her? “You look exhausted, if I may say. An evening of reprieve in your chambers, after completing your priorities, will do you some good.”
She wanted to refuse. She could not.
She sighed, shutting her eyes a moment too long. “That sounds nice.” She opened her eyes and glared playfully at him. “But only if you swear to do your own job to your utmost ability.”
Smoked Cheese smiled. “Gladly, Your Radiance.”
With that, they bid one another goodbye, and Golden Cheese went to her chambers. Upon entrance, her Cheesebird servants emerged from all sides, asking what she needed. A cheese tray? A warm drink? A cold drink? Her robes? Anything she could desire. She accepted her evening robes and changed, and she settled at her desk to write. Her servants were surprised she accepted so little, but she said she wanted to finish her letters as soon as possible. She dismissed them to stand outside her room until she emerged again. The Cheesebirds wished her a good evening and departed, leaving her alone.
She wrote four letters, one for each of her friends. She knew little of the other four Beasts, but Burning Spice was a formidable enemy. She assumed the other Beasts were similar, and she opened her letters with hope for their safety. She spoke of Burning Spice in detail, his general demeanor and goals, and her belief that he was still a threat. She was vague about their fight, though she included the brief theft of her Soul Jam. No more than that. Not her brief defeat. Not their encounter on the cliff. Not her broken wings–
Her hand shook as she finished her letters. She ignored it.
When the letters were done, she wrote their recipients’ names on the envelopes, secured them, and set them aside. She would have to leave the Golden City to mail them, and the thought of departing her treasures again so soon tore at her chest. She would think on it when she awoke from her nap. She lay down in her bed and pulled her thick blankets over her. The room was silent.
She welcomed it. It was better than the rustling breeze of spices, the clanging of weapons against each other, or the raucous laughter of Burning Spice. Anything would be better than facing those things. Her bed was comfortable, her kingdom was secure, and she herself was safe. That’s what she told herself. It’s what she had to hear.
She closed her eyes. She grew exponentially more tired when she lied down. Perhaps Smoked Cheese was right! What a change of pace.
Golden Cheese drifted to sleep after only a few minutes.
At first, her vision was filled with her kingdom. Smoked Cheese, Mozzarella, Burnt Cheese, standing with her in a tall building. They were looking over her kingdom with her, and the citizens were all throwing a big party in the streets. The occasion was unknown, but who needed an occasion to indulge in their greed and endless desires? Music played, and people danced, and food and drinks and laughter were all exchanged in abundance. It was splendid. Perfect.
The dark sky opened, and a paprika red rift split the world in half. A swirl of dust flew through the kingdom, and Golden Cheese covered her eyes. She could not see! She could only hear her subjects, first confused then frightened, until the wind coated the sound, and she could hear nothing.
The wind soon stopped, and Golden Cheese uncovered her eyes. She was no longer in her kingdom. Where on Earthbread could she have ended up without realizing? She was standing on a cliff, overlooking fast dunes she could not make out. The sand was orange, coating canyons and looming rock structures. The sun was setting, and the sky and clouds swirled in a hypnotizing spiral in the sky. Golden Cheese looked at it, too entranced to look away. Where was she? Where had everyone gone?
She finally looked down and realized the truth. The Golden City, broken and shattered, was coated in a thick layer of dust. Remnants of buildings lost all their sheen, lost to some immeasurable amount of time. A sea of Soulcheeses was scattered about. All of them were broken; some were little more than cheese dust atop the remains of her treasure. In the far distance, the crumbled remains of her closest allies were visible, partly covered, fully destroyed.
Golden Cheese stepped back. She was on a cliff, overlooking the carnage. How? How had that happened? Who took her treasures from her?! She would find them, and–
She heard a low laugh behind her, and her dough ran cold. She turned.
She was promptly grabbed by her neck and hoisted in the air by Burning Spice. His face was twisted into a sadistic smile, his red eyes gleaming. The sun set behind him, and his silhouette glowed in an ominous red hue. He didn’t look real. He looked like a villain out of a novel, his features and descriptors so exaggerated that no one could imagine him. But there he stood, clutching Golden Cheese like she weighed nothing.
Burning Spice took a step, and he shook Golden Cheese in his grasp. She kicked her legs and clawed at his hand to force him to release her, but he didn’t budge. He took several more steps until he was holding her over the edge of the cliff, dangling her high above the ground. She flapped her wings, hoping to make an escape, to fly above Burning Spice and make it to her treasures, but it was pointless. She could not feel as much as a breeze from her wings. They were doing nothing.
Burning Spice’s eyes darted across her, and he took his free hand and grabbed one of her wings. She screamed in protest, and she kicked as hard as she could manage. Small crumbs fell from his arm, but he held firm. She kicked again and again until his arm had deteriorated into little, yet he still held her, almost with his sheer will rather than with his body. His golden smile widened with villainous glee, and with a harsh tug, he pulled her wing from her body, severed, crumbling, tossing it into the distance, and he grabbed her other wing and pulled, and feathers flew around and filled her peripheral with gold, and she kicked and bit his hand, and she screamed, and she screamed, and –
She screamed. She screamed. She clutched the fabric of her blanket with both hands, and she screamed.
Golden Cheese gasped in her bed. She looked up at the ceiling of her bedroom, the swirling umber details twisting under her panicked gaze. She took a shaking breath, her throat tight, and she screwed her eyes closed. She didn’t move, dare Burning Spice emerge from a corner.
What if he were there? What if he had found her kingdom and was waiting for the time to strike?
She sat up in a flash. She looked around every crevice, every ornate decoration, every possible hiding spot, for the hulking Cookie with the golden smile. He was nowhere to be seen. She was alone in her room, in her kingdom, far from Beast Yeast.
She sat in her bed a few moments longer, waiting for the feeling to pass. Her shoulders felt heavy, and her back, particularly around the base of her wings, was aching and sore. She felt the area with her hands as best she could; it was uncrumbling and healthy, but her mind convinced her otherwise. Her wings would fall loose from her dough, in place to trick her. She felt sick. She was afraid, as much as she wanted to deny it. The feeling was so unfamiliar to her, but it was too much like how she felt in that dungeon to be anything else. She hated it.
She rose from her bed on shaking legs, and she stood in place until she could take a step. She pulled her robe tightly around her until the fabric stretched across her shoulders and her chest. It was real, and she bent forward and put her hand against her knee to hold herself up. She breathed deeply, shakily, until she had the courage to stand straight. She looked around her chambers a second time. No intruders. No one at all. She was relieved; she could crumble if anyone saw her in such a state.
Even then, Golden Cheese knew she could not remain there. No matter how much she told herself she was safe, she could not shake the feeling that she was in danger. Immediate danger, no less. The kingdom was at risk of being hacked, and the Soulcheeses would be broken and unusable. Her cherished allies would be gone if–
She gasped. She squeezed her eyes closed again, trying to will the image away. They were fine. They had to be.
She could go see Smoked Cheese! She could visit his station, and he would tell her everything was safe, and he would be uninjured, and she would return to her room! Simple. It would help.
With that, Golden Cheese stood straight and exited her room. Two Cheesebird servants were posted outside, and when the door opened, they turned in surprise.
One of them jumped in the air and flapped their wings. “Your Majezty! Hello!”
“We didn’t think you would be back so soon!” the other chirped.
Golden Cheese silently wondered how long she had been gone, if they were so surprised.
“Well, I need to see Smoked Cheese,” she replied. Her voice was weak. The Cheesebirds didn’t react. “Is he on duty still?”
“He sure iz! Chirp!” the first one replied. “Should we summon him?”
“No! No, I can go to him.” She needed to take a walk. She wanted to see the kingdom with her own two eyes. She could not take him from his work, even for a moment. “Until I return and summon you, you are dismissed, as is everyone else near my chambers. Spread the word, will you?”
The Cheesebirds thanked her and excitedly flew off to enjoy their break. Golden Cheese waited until she knew for a fact they were gone, and she began her walk.
She was pathetic. She was hurrying along the memorized path to Smoked Cheese, not at all relaxed like she typically was. Who had she become that she was seeking out others? For reassurance, no less? She never needed reassurance, for she was confident in her kingdom as well as her allies! She needed to turn back to her own room and stop distracting her general from his job. What kind of queen was she?
She kept going. She needed to see him.
Golden Cheese soon arrived at Smoked Cheese’s work chambers, where he kept an eye on any monster notifications and general troubles in the kingdom. He was good at his work, despite his frequent disagreements with her and disobedience. Their history was long and complicated, but in the end, she trusted him with her life, with good reason. He was the only Cookie who saw her at her weakest in that dungeon. He was there for her—firm, steady, and calm, even when things were at their least certain, even when she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t know what would have happened to her in Beast Yeast without him by her side. She didn’t want to think about it.
A Cheesebird was posted outside the door. They jumped in the air while flapping their wings when she approached. “Your Majezty! What can I do for you?” they greeted.
She bowed slightly. “Hello. Is Smoked Cheese busy?”
“No! We haven’t had any monsterz, so he isn’t busy at all! Chirp!”
“I’d like to meet with him then.”
“Go ahead! Chirp!”
The Cheesebird jumped up to unlock the door, and Golden Cheese stepped inside.
Smoked Cheese stood on the far side of the chambers, looking at a map of the kingdom displayed under his hands. The entrance was highlighted in green—no intrusions to speak of—and no errors were written anywhere. He worked in tandem with Mozzarella, who notified him of monster-specific problems. Other pop-ups appeared on the map for different streets and alleyways; all were green. Smoked Cheese dutifully looked over the map, but there was nothing out of the ordinary to be spotted. The kingdom was safe.
She closed the door behind her, and Smoked Cheese tensed up. “Who is it?”
Golden Cheese wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s me.”
He threw his head back and groaned. “Your Radiance, we have talked about how unnecessary your visits are! I am perfectly capable of doing my job, and you know this! What can I do for y–”
Smoked Cheese turned his head to look at her, and he cut himself off the moment he laid eyes on her. His eyes widened in shock, and he stepped around to face her fully.
“Your Majesty?” His voice was almost…gentle? Cautious? She couldn’t tell. “What happened?”
She scoffed. She could only imagine how dreadful she looked for him to react like that, but she had to keep up appearances as long as possible. “What makes you assume something happened? Perhaps I just wanted to see you!”
“Well, I would prefer if that were the case, but…” He stepped toward her, gesturing to her with both hands. “You are dreadfully pale and shaking like a leaf. I know not what could have happened since we departed earlier, but it must have been something significant.”
He stopped in front of her, his brows furrowed with that uncharacteristic worry. She squirmed under his gaze, and she averted her eyes. It only made Smoked Cheese frown more. “You came to me for a reason, yes? What is it?”
It was a mistake. Smoked Cheese was busy working, helping protect the kingdom when she was sidelined. He was taking time away from that to worry about her when she was upset over a stupid nightmare. She was fine. Uninjured! Good. She didn’t need him.
Golden Cheese huffed and looked back at Smoked Cheese. “Nothing. Truly,” she said. She was far from convincing. She could not put her true desire into words. What a failure on her part. Instead of trying, she smiled. “I just…I wanted to see how your work was going. That’s all.”
Smoked Cheese did not believe her. It was obvious. His brows remained furrowed, and he was still frowning. But he knew her well; perhaps he knew she wasn’t ready to tell him. She would never know.
He nodded. “If you insist, Your Radiance.” He tilted his head toward the map. “Let me show you.”
They walked together to the labeled map. Golden Cheese would normally stand on the opposite side of it, giving Smoked Cheese his space, but…she could not bear to leave that distance. She could not help but remain near him. She saw with her own eyes that he was uncrumbled, his usual self, defiant and hardworking and sassy. He was fine.
She watched him point at the map, the entrance and the alleys and the restaurants. Each work chamber, including the one they stood in, each home, even her own chambers, everything. “We’ve had no issues whatsoever, Your Radiance,” he began. “Mozzarella and I have maintained consistent contact, and she has nothing to report either. The denizens are happy, no monsters have made it in, and no one has approached Burnt Cheese at all.” He drew his hand back. “The city gleams with joy of your impromptu return. Your departure was sudden, and though they have not returned to their doughy selves, everyone here believes in you in full and is just…happy you are here.”
The light from the map lit the underside of Smoked Cheese’s face. The green and gold lights highlighted his smile, his narrowed eyes as he looked around. He was focused on his work, waiting for a monster to tame or an intruder to jail, but he had nothing to do but look. He was calm, as he usually was when nothing was amiss. If something was wrong, it would show on his face; he would be openly annoyed or angry. But he was relaxed, happy to show his queen the safety of their kingdom. Everything was fine. Why was she not convinced? Why couldn’t she relax? Why did she need such reassurance at all?
His eyes moved from the map to her. She continued to look at him. She could not look away.
“You did not come here to ask about my work,” he said plainly. “It was a good cover. Nothing more. I cannot indulge this any longer, not when I know something is wrong.”
Golden Cheese stared for several seconds before laughing, somehow. “You know me too well.”
“More than most, for better and worse.” Smoked Cheese smiled, though it was tinged with worry. “What’s wrong?”
Golden Cheese shook her head. Not out of denial, but out of uncertainty. How could she put it into words in a way that didn’t humiliate her?
She had no choice.
“I am…feeling unwell,” she replied simply. Smoked Cheese used the same wording in Beast Yeast. It would do. “I wrote letters to my friends and went to sleep, but my slumber was far from restful. I…didn’t want to be alone when I woke, and the thought of being with anyone else was…”
Embarrassing. Pathetic. Unthinkable.
“You have seen me this weak already. It’s no surprise.”
If she could manage it, she would only want Smoked Cheese to see her like that. She never wanted anyone to see, never wanted to experience such struggles at all, but the universe did not allow it. She was grateful for Smoked Cheese’s calmness and sound words when she needed them most. She owed him. What she could give to satisfy that, she did not know. It didn’t exist, as far as she was concerned. But she would try, another day, when she was stronger.
Smoked Cheese sighed to himself. “You are far from weak, Your Radiance,” he said, “no matter how you’re feeling now.”
She didn’t believe him. She said nothing.
“However, I’m glad you came to me. I want to help, and telling me you are struggling allows me to do that. Thank you.” Smoked Cheese nodded toward the exit. “If you would like, I can escort you back to your chambers? We can discuss things more there. Far more comfortable than here.”
“…I would like that.”
“Let me inform Mozzarella, and we will go.”
Golden Cheese watched Smoked Cheese send a message in the kingdom’s internal system about his break. She did not read the message, instead looking at the map once more. Still green, still safe. All was well. Even with the safety right in front of her eyes, she could not shake the dread, the anticipation, that it was wrong. Something was there. It was waiting in the shadows for the time to strike, when Golden Cheese was convinced of the safety, and it would leap out and attack her or her allies or her denizens, and it would destroy everything. His gold would blend with her own, and it would be easy to overlook him, and she had to stay vigilant.
She was removed from her thoughts when Smoked Cheese spoke her name. She looked, and he was staring at her, his subdued worry still evident. He held a hand out to her. “Mozzarella will cover me for a while,” he said. “Let’s go.”
Golden Cheese took his hand, and they walked together to the door. Smoked Cheese stepped outside, and he closed the door around their hands, effectively keeping her inside. She didn’t understand it, and she was about to say something when–
“Smoked Cheese! What can we do for you? Chirp!” a Cheesebird asked.
“I am taking a break,” Smoked Cheese replied. “And so are you! You are dismissed, as is everyone in this corridor.”
The Cheesebirds squawked in surprise. “Really?! Are you sure?”
“I am. There is no need to watch this corridor while I’m gone. If an emergency happens, you are to call Mozzarella. I will summon you upon my return.”
“Chirp, chirp! Okay! Thank you!” She heard scuttling footsteps as the Cheesebirds joined their friends in their break.
Several seconds passed, and eventually, Smoked Cheese opened the door once again and took a step, gently pulling Golden Cheese with him. “Let us go, Your Radiance.”
Golden Cheese stepped into the corridor and closed the door behind her. It was empty, devoid of anyone other than them. She sighed in relief.
They took a few steps together before she spoke up. “You didn’t have to dismiss them.”
“You don’t want anyone else to see you right now, yes?” Smoked Cheese waved his free hand. “It was the least I could do for your comfort.”
“…thank you.”
“Let’s keep going.”
They walked to her chambers in silence, holding hands for every step. There wasn’t anyone in sight, no matter where they went—no Cheesebirds, no denizens, no one at all. She was surprised, really, at the relief that washed over her each time they turned a corner, passed an entryway, with no one there. She was normally thrilled to see her denizens or Cheesebirds; she loved talking to them, giving them things, and gracing them with her presence. But then, she could not bear the thought of anyone perceiving her at all.
She had never held Smoked Cheese’s hand before. They were never intimate at all, honestly. The most they would do is exchange looks, quirked brows and low smiles. Smoked Cheese spoke of her grandeur in the way a subject would, not how he would. She didn’t know what he would say if he spoke from the heart. Nothing good, she assumed; he had his own thoughts about her rule and her demeanor, opinions and fears he formed an entire rebellion around. She could only imagine what he would say about her if she encouraged him to speak truthfully.
His hand was warm. It was tight with its grasp, though not painful. Firm. Steady. He walked in step with her yet led her down the hall, his eyes focused on their destination. She wished she knew what he was thinking. She could only imagine. He had been defeated by her after his failed rebellion, and in a blink, he was whisked to Beast Yeast, where he fought alongside his queen. They were mere moments apart for him. Was he not tired? Did he himself not need a break?
She squeezed his hand without thinking. He did not slow down, though he did return the gesture.
They made it to Golden Cheese’s room. Golden Cheese opened the door and pulled Smoked Cheese inside, and she locked the door behind them. She let go of his hand and stepped ahead of him, standing in front of her bed. She wrapped her arms around herself and pulled the fabric of her robe across her chest. It was a mistake. She shouldn’t have brought Smoked Cheese from his work. But he offered, she told herself, why would he volunteer if he didn’t want to, if he didn’t mind? And what if the map was wrong? What if it was another error, unhighlighted, undetected? And Smoked Cheese was missing it to comfort her? What if Burning Spice was in the kingdom–
“Your Majesty.”
Smoked Cheese’s voice rang in the air, and she turned. He was watching her closely, leaning around in an attempt to see her face. When she turned, he took a step back, and he lifted his hands, unsure what to do with them. He ended up clenching them into loose fists in the air. “You are shaking again,” he said. “What is on your mind?”
Golden Cheese swallowed. She watched him for several seconds, waiting for him to move or change or reveal an enemy, but he did not.
She sighed and turned away. “The Beast.”
Smoked Cheese’s brows furrowed. He stepped around her and stood in front of her. “He is not here, if that is what concerns you.”
Golden Cheese shook her head. Just saying the word put her in a daze. She grew lightheaded, and her dough felt heavier. Her legs buckled under the weight, and her knees rattled beneath her. She felt faint. Was she collapsing?
She shook her head. “He must be.”
“He isn’t. I swear it, Your Radiance.” Smoked Cheese bent forward to follow her as she leaned, and he held his hands up in front of him. He wanted to touch her, she could tell, he wanted to hold her like he did in the dungeon, around her shoulders to hold her up if she needed the support. He frowned, and he shook his head. “I would not allow him to take a step in here. Not one.”
Golden Cheese gasped, shaking her head until he was little more than a blur. The familiar ache in her back returned, moving through her dough, around the base of her wings and the full of her neck. She gritted her teeth and huffed, trying to will the pain away. It felt like her wings were being rejected by her body, trying their best to meet the fate appointed to them. Her breath escaped her, and she tried to take in a breath to relax, but it did not work. She could not focus on Smoked Cheese anymore, who was saying something, but it evaded her. Static filled her ears, coupled with the sound of Burning Spice’s laughter. His hand was on her neck, and he held her wing in his hand, and–
She grunted. The pain in her wings was too much to bear. They had to be gone. What else could be happening?
“…m-my wings…! My wings,” she mumbled. She could barely find the strength to stand, let alone speak, but she managed.
Smoked Cheese’s voice sounded in her ears, sudden, firm. A relief. “Your wings?” he asked worriedly, his eyes darting up to look behind her. “What about them?”
“They are gone.” Golden Cheese lifted her hands to clutch her hair into tight fists. “Or– or rejecting from me, he is still tearing them from me, he must be–”
“Your Radiance, I can barely understand you.” Smoke Cheese bent below her line of sight, successfully making eye contact. He looked frightened—almost as rare as her own fear. “Your wings are still there. Nothing has gotten them. Are they hurting?”
She panted, breathless. She could not reply.
He understood anyway. “They look alright to me,” he assured. “Though if they are hurting, it makes sense.” He lifted his hands again, showing them to her. “May I touch you? I will not hurt you or do anything you do not want me to do. I swear it, Golden Cheese.”
The sound of her name pulled her from the fading world she was trapped in. His voice, who said her name so often it would be disrespectful if it were anyone else in her kingdom. His voice, so sincere when he needed it to be. There was nothing she needed to hear more.
She managed a nod.
Smoked Cheese smiled. He lifted his hands and put them on top of hers, undoing the tight fists in her hair. She flinched at the contact, and her panting came out faster, more panicked, despite his gentle touch. When her grip was fully undone, he lowered her arms to her sides, and he put his hands on the sides of her arms, just beneath her shoulders. He moved them both into a full standing position, not taking his eyes off her for a moment. She could only stare at him and follow his lead.
When they were done, he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “You are trembling horribly, Your Radiance. It’s a miracle you’re standing.” His voice was almost affectionate, despite the circumstances. It was welcomed. “We should sit for a while. Would that be alright?”
She nodded again. They walked together to the edge of the bed and sat down. Golden Cheese sank into her mattress, and she leaned sideways into Smoked Cheese’s hand. She couldn’t think clearly. She could only focus on his hands on her dough and try to calm down. But she struggled.
“Look at me.”
She lifted her head to look at Smoked Cheese. He was still watching her, his eyes darting across her face. “I am right here with you,” he assured. “You are safe. Nothing can get us. I won’t allow it.”
She watched him take a purposefully deep breath, and without request, she followed it as best she could. His eye contact was intense; his yellow eyes were always soft, but he had a way of staring into what was left of her soul, if the need arose. She was not intimidated by him, not usually. When he was mad with greed and newfound power, she had been frightened by him. He could be intense, when he was angry or annoyed or focused on his work, and he could be hard to approach when his mood soured. He was persistent and stubborn and often rude. He talked back more than any Cookie she had ever met.
But he was smart. Scarily smart. He could look at a circumstance and predict most outcomes; it made him an excellent general and excellent in a crisis. He had a good memory; anything someone told him, he would carry with him, good and bad. He was observant, and he noticed minute changes in people, whether it be in their mood or their behavior. He was always looking out for traitors, even when he was the most notable one. His care for the kingdom ran deep; everything he did was to support it.
But she knew he cared about the kingdom and himself more than he did about her. They had known one another for so long. His death was one of her most painful losses. She felt so betrayed when he stole her Soul Jam, however temporarily. He thought she was a poor queen, an immature ruler unfit for her status or power. In Beast Yeast, he was shown to be more humble, more faithful in her. He helped her through rare anxiety. He fought for the kingdom, openly hostile against anyone who dared threaten them. He fought for her safety. She would not forget that. That was the Smoked Cheese she trusted.
And in her chambers, his eyes focused only on her, he held her gently, carefully, like she was a rare treasure—glittering yet fragile.
They breathed together for a while. Golden Cheese didn’t know how long. Long enough for the last remnants of panic to ease up, for the weight on her shoulders and back to lift. The pain in her wings fell to a dull ache, then nothing. It was welcomed.
Smoked Cheese’s gaze did not ease up until he suddenly shifted his head. “Are you feeling more like yourself, Your Radiance?”
She nodded.
“You look more like yourself. More color has returned to your dough. You’re not as shaky either. That’s good.”
He drew his hands back from her arms, and he rested them in his lap. He averted his eyes from her, focusing on another part of the bed. Something was on his mind, but Golden Cheese did not know what.
His voice was sudden. “Your Radiance, may I circle back to something you said earlier?”
Golden Cheese frowned in confusion. She cleared her throat. “What is it?” Her voice was worn from her prior panic, little more than a rasp. How pathetic.
“You called yourself ‘weak’ when you first came to me.” Smoked Cheese shook his head incredulously. “I know not where you got such an idea, but I must contest it.”
Her weakness was undeniable. Surely he agreed. What was he talking about?
“Have you already forgotten what happened in Beast Yeast? Sure, you lost. We both did. But your newfound strength was so glorious that it took down Burning Spice’s temple!” Smoked Cheese said emphatically. His hands gestured wildly, almost desperately. “There is no weakness to be seen there! Only dominance and power, care and focus. Greed in the purest sense. You want more and more and more, to rescue the Kulfis, to defeat Burning Spice and all his lackeys, to protect the Soulcheeses with your life. You want everything. You get stuck on an idea and refuse to part with it. Your abundance knows little bounds. I often call you a foolish queen, for your priorities and mine are quite different, but weak? No.”
He pointed to his right, more so at nothing. “If you had been weak, you would have crumbled in that dungeon, no matter what I said. You would have given up. That Beast would have been able to run you right over and keep your Soul Jam for himself. You have never once given up on anything. Not the Golden City, not your Soul Jam, not yourself, and certainly not me, even when I have deserved it.” The more he spoke, the more he leaned forward, getting closer and closer to her. She could only stare at him, jaw slack in shock. “No weak queen would do anything you did. The Golden City has thrived because you are so indescribably strong, Golden Cheese. No ordinary Cookie could face the hardships you have, from the Dark Flour War to rebuilding the Golden City to Beast Yeast. It would have destroyed a weak Cookie. Not you.”
He hovered close to her face. His yellow eyes were glowing with his words, passionate and bright. Radiant. “You are not weak. It feels like that because of these…horrid feelings. But I know you are not. I have seen how strong you are with my own eyes. You are my incredible, beautiful, radiant, strong queen, and absolutely nothing and no one can change that. I will tell you a thousand times over if I must to convince you.”
He stared at her, eyes wide with desperation and passion. She only saw him like that when it came to the kingdom. Never about her. It was unfathomable.
Her eyes watered before anything else. She was surprised at that, and she tried to blink it away, but the feeling only grew. Her chest tightened, not from panic, but emotion, and her lower lip wobbled as she held it back. One of her blinks was too strong, and a tear fell. When the first fell, so did many more. She lifted her hands to wipe them away, but it was too late.
Smoked Cheese leaned back when he saw her tears, his face twisting into a frown. “Oh, Your Radiance, I didn’t mean to make you cry!” he said worriedly.
Golden Cheese shook her head rapidly. “No, no, y-you didn’t do anything wrong!” she countered. She wiped her eyes again, but she continued to cry. Her voice was thick with her tears; she could hardly understand herself. “I-I’m just overwhelmed. Surely, you–”
She had to cut her sentence short when she sobbed into her palms, covering her face with her hands. She was rapidly realizing that she had never cried in front of Smoked Cheese before. She was usually private about such emotional displays, saving her saddest or angriest moments for her and her alone. But she obviously had no opportunity for such leisure, and her emotions were quickly getting the better of her.
She lowered her hands to wipe her face. Smoked Cheese was looking between her and the floor, clearly unsure what to do himself. Eventually, he slid forward a bit, and he held his hands out to her, similarly to how he did before. He waited a moment, and when she realized he wanted permission, she nodded. He immediately put his hands on the sides of her arms once more, but he pulled her toward him into a hug. She leaned into the contact, resting her cheek against his shoulder. Despite being directly against his collar, it was surprisingly comfortable, and she leaned even further into his hold.
Smoked Cheese’s hands went around her back; one hand rested near her shoulders while the other pressed against the small of her back. He sat still for a moment before rubbing his hand in a small circle around her shoulders. It felt wondrous.
Golden Cheese let out another quiet sob. “You don’t mean any of that.”
“I do, Your Radiance,” Smoked Cheese assured. “I would not lie to you about something like that, not now.”
He had continued to surprise her, time and time again. He had defied her expectations so greatly in the past day that she wasn’t sure what to think. She was feeling so…confused, about so many things involving Smoked Cheese. She had once been so angry at him, so lost on how to proceed with him. She wondered if granting him mercy would be a mistake. He had shown her, multiple times, that he was not taking his second chance for granted. Would the Smoked Cheese before his betrayal do any of that for her? She didn’t know.
She lay against him a bit longer until she was no longer sobbing. His hand on her back never slowed, and he was silent. She had so many thoughts running through her head, thoughts about Beast Yeast and Burning Spice and Smoked Cheese himself. She felt better than she did prior, which was good, but…she could not leave some questions unasked.
She sighed to herself. “There’s something I don’t understand.”
“Hm? What is it?”
“Where was your talk of…of me being a god? Rising up to protect us?” she asked quietly. “Surely gods are not afraid or– or anxious like this. I’m not sure where your sternness went this time around. Emphatic, yes, but not stern. You hold me to high standards.”
His motivational words in the dungeon rejuvenated her spirit and encouraged her when she was at her lowest. He was stern with her, using her own words and her own view of herself to motivate her to be better. It was just what she needed to hear, and it worked, quite well at that. Why did he not use the same phrasing a second time? Where was his mention of her godhood? Her greatness? Her newfound power?
His hum reverberated through her dough, and his hand around her shoulder stilled. Smoked Cheese considered it for several seconds before he replied.
“I do, you’re right. Well, you already acted as a god to save us back in Beast Yeast,” he said. “Your wings returned, and your strength multipled, and you were the Golden Sovereign we needed you to be. It saved us. It saved me. And you, of course, but…” He paused, thinking. “But you did not need to be a god here. You already were one when we needed it the most. Now, I…I just needed you to feel safe. Recognize that you were safe. Feel encouraged. You were a god, an incredible god at that, but…here, you needed to be a mere Cookie, for a change. No amount of power can make difficult memories easier to process.” He laughed. “If I were stern with you as I was in the dungeon, it would only make me feel like a jerk. Not a feeling I welcome, despite how I act.”
Golden Cheese managed to laugh too.
“I do not know how long Burning Spice’s actions will stick with you,” he said seriously. “It could be a while. As long as you keep taking steps forward, as steadily as you can, his actions will have less and less of a hold on you. When we defeat him, however far away that is, it will be a triumph in every sense. Until that happens, we can take things one day at a time.” His hand idly traced the dough on her lower back. “It will not be easy, but I know you can do it, Your Radiance. You do not have to deal with any of this alone.”
The silence that passed was comfortable. Neither moved from their hug. Smoked Cheese’s hand continued to move across her back, idly, slowly. Golden Cheese felt the last of her tears fade, and she sighed deeply and relaxed for the first time all evening. Smoked Cheese’s reassurances echoed in her mind, and they sank into her dough and down to her soul, easing the last of her immediate concerns and worries. Was it from his heart? Were those his true thoughts and feelings? She did not have the courage to ask.
Maybe in a distant future.
“I owe you greatly, Smoked Cheese.”
He scoffed. “Your humbleness is so common anymore, Your Radiance. You owe me nothing.”
“Absolutely not,” she refuted. “You have done so much for me lately. It would be wrong to not do something for you in return. We can discuss it at a later time.”
Smoked Cheese laughed aloud. “Alright then. Once we take care of other, more important things, we will figure it out.”
They sat in their hug for a minute longer. Golden Cheese was extraordinarily comfortable and growing almost tired. All the same, she couldn’t bear letting it end. She didn’t want Smoked Cheese to let her go.
His voice rang out to end the silence. “Well, Your Radiance, would you like me to leave you to your chambers for a while? I can tell you’re tired.”
Golden Cheese laughed to herself. Of course he could. Despite it, she shook her head against him. “No. Not yet. I would…I would quite like to stay like this a while longer,” she admitted. “If you’re alright with that.”
She could hear the smile in Smoked Cheese’s voice. “I am. I would like that too.”
Golden Cheese shifted in his arms, and she finally moved her own around his back. He chuckled at the change of position and adjusted in turn, holding her more comfortably. It was blissful. Perfect.
She didn’t know how it would end. She didn’t know if she would dismiss him on her own or if he would insist that he give her some alone time. But she felt his support deep in her dough, and when she next saw him, after their moment together was over, after she slept well, she would face anything with him at her side.