Chapter Text
If only Jinx had moved just a split second faster. If only she had taken action instead of trying to get through to her sister verbally. Why didn’t she see Vi’s grief earlier? The weight that was nearly ready to break her? Why did it take Isha’s sacrifice and the burning of Viktor’s compound to realize her big sister wasn’t invincible after all and that the guilt from not being there for her all those years ago was slowly choking her to death? If only things had been different… then maybe Vi would still be alive.
One look at Jinx racing in to protect her from Vander was all it took. Forever the protector with a heart several sizes too big. Vi punched off the ground, slamming into him with a devastating punch, knocking him to the edge. He snatched at her leg, dragging Vi with him as he went down. Jinx arrived too late to protect her big sister, but just in time to snatch at her remaining gauntlet.
“You’ve always been good enough, Jinx. Don’t you dare believe anyone who makes you feel otherwise,” Vi said, flashing her a warm smile even as the ledge groaned under the weight.
“Don’t. Don’t even think about it, Vi!” Jinx demanded, but even her Shimmer enhanced strength wasn’t enough. One of them had to let go or the ledge would break under the strain and take all of them down. “I can’t lose you too,” she begged, tears burning her eyes. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. She was supposed to save the day and then disappear. Bounce off in an airship and let Vi have her happy ending without her around to screw things up again or drag her down.
“I’m sorry for not being a better sister to you. Take care of her for me,” Vi apologized, her words shifting to pleading at the end. There was no mistaking who she meant.
“I will. I promise,” Jinx vowed. Ripping a string of bombs off, she dropped them. Vi caught them with one hand as the other let go, sliding out of her remaining gauntlet as she disengaged it. Jinx couldn’t look away. She refused to look away until a bloom of color and light took away the last remaining family she had left.
There’s no telling how long Jinx sits there, silently mourning, with Vi’s gauntlet cradled in her arms. She can feel herself spiralling and several times the temptation to just fall over the ledge after Vi nearly overwhelms her. Except for one thing. One promise that holds her back from the edge.
Take care of her.
What is she supposed to tell Caitlyn now? Stupid Piltie. One bat of Vi’s eyes and a little flirting and the great Commander Kiramman folded like a piece of origami. Turned her back on Ambessa and tried to free the same monster that killed her Enforcers. There’s a parallel there that Jinx steadfastly refuses to think about. In the end, Caitlyn loved Vi more than she hated Jinx. There was no mistaking what it meant when Vi showed up to let her out, when Jinx locked her in the cell and realized the entire complex was suspiciously empty of all guards. They could have escaped the city together or Jinx could have stayed free in the undercity. After all, it wasn’t like the peanut patrol had ever caught her. Either way was taking a risk that Caitlyn could never undo. Jinx finally realized how much she truly cared, and then what happens?
Me. Again, Jinx quietly considers. She hears the hum of the hoverboard before she sees it. The thump of Ekko’s familiar boots lands behind her. Silence stretches on for a while before Jinx feels a hand on her shoulder. Solid. Real.
“I’m sorry,” Ekko whispers softly. Jinx nods silently and her grip tightens around Vi’s gauntlet. Not that it has any use now. Hextech is dead or will be once what remains of the Council outlaws the arcane again, but it still belonged to Vi. So Jinx holds it close even though the weight of it threatens to unbalance the ledge she’s sitting on.
“Is it over?” Jinx finally croaks out.
“Yeah. Viktor and Jayce are… I don’t know what happened to them, but all of Viktor’s followers dropped dead and Noxus surrendered. The war is over,” Ekko responds, his hand squeezing slightly before letting go. What a pitiful, hollow victory.
“Wish Isha could have been here to see it. See me riding in like a big, fat hero leading Zaun. Battle music and all,” Jinx said with a bitter laugh. The kid would have loved it.
“She would have been proud of you. I know I am,” Ekko says gently. That small bit of encouragement is enough to get Jinx to move. Her legs scream and tingle from sitting in one spot for so long, and her arms tremble from the stress of the day.
“I still got a working hoverboard. If you want to get out or lie low while everything is still in chaos, I can…” Ekko begins, but Jinx cuts him off.
“I need to see Caitlyn,” Jinx firmly interrupts, still staring at the ground. She doesn’t explain further and Ekko doesn’t ask, but when she turns around, she sees him nod slowly.
“Ok. Hold on tight.”
————————————
Caitlyn was nothing if not thorough, perhaps to a fault. She got obsessed over the details and patterns, needing to put every little piece of the puzzle together. Every battle scenario she went over had included this possibility. People were going to die. War does not spare the innocent.
As she laid in bed the night before the battle, holding a sleeping Vi in her arms, she had silently considered this very scenario that one of them might come back alone. But nothing could ever have prepared her for experiencing it or for seeing Jinx step off Ekko’s hoverboard with a single gauntlet clutched in her arms as if it was her last lifeline. Nothing could have prepared her for the pain of feeling that gaping hole in her chest rip open even wider. A hole nothing could truly fill.
Caitlyn’s eyes are already burning with pain and the prick of tears in her ruined eye sends pain lancing through her head. There’s no need to ask, no need to speak. The grief and devastation on Jinx’s face and the single gauntlet in her hands say enough. Seeing Jinx now reminds Caitlyn of the visit she made to her cell. She had walked in expecting a terrorist and a monster and instead saw nothing but a shattered and grief-stricken young woman who was mourning the loss of her family who she had seen blown apart right before her eyes. Just like Caitlyn had.
It hadn’t brought the satisfaction Caitlyn expected or silently feared she might feel. There was nothing but that same pit of emptiness and pain, along with the tightness of anger in her chest. Anger not at Jinx, but at herself for what she had done, for failing so miserably as an Enforcer, and for feeling such strong pity for her mother’s killer as she sat there curled in a cell haunted by the death of a child Caitlyn had once been willing to risk killing herself.
Stumbling over, Jinx collapses on the ground in front of Caitlyn and just sits there quietly. Tears slowly streak down her cheeks and her knuckles are white around the metal of Vi’s gauntlet. Her body language and the pain in her face speak volumes. Jinx opens her mouth, but a broken sob is all that comes out before she closes her mouth, jaw tight.
“I’m glad you came back,” Caitlyn says suddenly and Jinx’s head snaps up, her brow furrowing at those words. “Vi never stopped believing in you, never wanted to stop believing in you. She was so concerned about making the wrong choice again or doing the wrong thing. Having you there at the end fighting with us? I know it meant the world to her. Whatever your reasons were,” she murmurs softly. Jinx stares for a moment before swallowing hard and looking away.
“You really loved her,” Jinx mumbles. Caitlyn lets out a small laugh that quickly turns to tears that she’s unable to hold back any longer. It sends spikes of pain through her head and makes her gasp from the pain, but she can’t stop the tidal wave of grief. Jinx doesn’t reach out to her and Caitlyn doesn’t expect her to. However, Jinx shifts slightly closer until their knees touch. It’s a slight gesture, but it’s enough. It’s not until she feels a rip of agony in her side that she hisses and whimpers. That did not feel good. Not that any part of her feels good right now, but that seemed especially bad. Jinx curses under her breath and leans forward. Caitlyn flinches away and immediately tenses up.
“Oh, like you could fight off a sick infant in your condition. Hold still and let me see,” Jinx demands, swatting at her hand. Caitlyn winces and reluctantly moves her hand away from the knife still stuck in her side. Leaving it there is bad, but taking it out without a healer around could be far worse. “Pretty sure you tore something else just now. We need to get you up and to a medic before it gets worse or you bleed out,” she comments with a critical eye. Sniffing, she wipes at her eyes and stands up. When she reaches out, Caitlyn shrinks back again.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Caitlyn demands, warily eying Jinx’s hands. Jinx snorts and rolls her eyes.
“I’m gonna toss you over my shoulder and hold you for ransom before anyone notices. What do you think I’m doing?” Jinx sneers at her. Caitlyn scowls in response. This at least feels far more familiar than quietly mourning Vi together in peace.
Grief is like rust. If you do not tend to it carefully, then it will eat away at the foundation of your soul until you have no more support left within yourself. If you can feel nothing else, then feel anger and let the slow, controlled burn fuel your actions.
Caitlyn can still hear those words in Ambessa’s voice. Her wisdom, her manipulation, are still there in the back of her mind. For now, though, she’ll accept that lesson and let her grief turn to anger if only to fuel her forward. She’ll have plenty of time to grieve, but right now Jinx is right. She’s in danger and she needs help. Sitting here in pain, bleeding out, isn’t what Vi would want.
Mel has been busy giving orders to the Noxian forces now that Ambessa is dead, but on seeing Caitlyn and Jinx, she hurries back over. It takes both of them, and some of Mel’s newfound arcane power, to get her up on her feet again.
“I got her. Just point me towards someone who can do proper stitches,” Jinx assures her. Mel purses her lips and looks at Caitlyn questioningly. She quirks an eyebrow in a silent question.
“We’re… not actively trying to kill each other anymore,” Caitlyn states with a grimace of pain. Jinx merely shrugs as if that’s as good an answer as any. Mel gives a sad smile and squeezes Caitlyn’s arm.
“I will be checking up on you. Straight down that way and down the steps. The medics are already setting up there,” Mel directs them in a firm tone. Caitlyn assumes the warning is as much for her not to run off again once she’s stitched up as it is to let Jinx know she’s still being watched.
“You heard the pretty lady. Let’s get…” Jinx pauses and winces. She shifts more of Caitlyn’s weight over onto her own shoulders. “By Janna, what do they feed you people topside? You couldn’t stay a little shorter?” she complains, having to adjust her grip because of their height difference. Caitlyn bristles, not that she hasn’t heard far worse comments about her height before, but this is Jinx and anger is better right now than grief. Plus, having Jinx on her blind side was unsettling her far more than she would like to admit.
“Maybe if the only lights you saw weren’t neon or bomb explosions, you’d have grown a little taller,” Caitlyn shoots right back. Mel sighs and gives them both a worried look as Jinx helps Caitlyn hobble off to get help. Medics rush to her aid as soon as she’s spotted and Caitlyn quickly loses sight of Jinx in the rush as they lay her down on a table.
It turns out painkillers, immense levels of pain, and soul-crushing grief make for a powerful sleeping aid. Caitlyn passes out under the shadow of the hex gate and wakes up in a proper hospital bed. It only takes a moment before the weight of what she’s lost crushes her again. It feels like there’s a ragged hole where her heart should be. First her mother, now Vi, even her father. Tobias haunts the hallways like a ghost, barely there anymore and far too lost in his own pain to help Caitlyn with hers.
Fumbling around, Caitlyn finds a button and lifts the bed up a bit, easing some of the pressure on her side as well. She can feel the thick bandages there under her hospital gown. Traces of her father are there as well. His jacket is thrown across a chair and she can smell the soap he uses lingering in the air. Vi’s gauntlet rests in the corner alone with the hexgem from it missing. There are no other traces of Jinx. Sighing, Caitlyn closes her eye as tears well up again. It stings her bad eye and soaks the bandage across it with tears and blood.
“Caity?” Only one person calls her that.
Turning, Caitlyn sees her father in the doorway. He’s still disheveled and his clothes are rumpled. But seeing him dressed and showered at all is a promising sign, seeing it’s a challenge for him to even do that most days. Not that Caitlyn can blame him for it. She knows that feeling all too well. Tobias rushes over, restraining himself only when he’s at her bedside. Instead of hugging her, he leans down to kiss her hair.
“My precious little Caity. I thought I’d lost you too,” Tobias whispers, his voice tight with pain. Caitlyn turns towards him, taking his hand. “Mel was here for a while and she… she told me about Violet. I’m so sorry. I know I wasn’t… the best around her lately, but I never wished for this. I know how much you loved her and how lost you were when you were apart. Losing the person you love… I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I’m so sorry, Caitlyn,” he says emphatically. His apology pulls a sob from Caitlyn’s chest and she squeezes his hand as they both cry. One for his daughter being alive, and the other for the woman she loved.
——————
Waiting to be cleared is agony. Hours turn into days and days turn into a week. While Caitlyn hasn’t lost her eye entirely, she still can’t see out of it. Combined with her stab wound, it was making her incredibly unsteady on her feet. Just walking across a room was exhausting and painful, not to mention everything she bumped into or tripped over along the way. Mel came to visit and insisted she wait for the doctor’s clearance. Otherwise, she risked ending up right back in here for even longer.
Tobias kept trying his best to soothe her. To remind her that the doctors just wanted to be sure she wouldn’t hurt herself trying to get around and then they would release her. Caitlyn had gritted her teeth at first and dealt with it, but by the end of the first week, her patience was gone. Either she left with their help or she would drag herself out by her fingernails.
“The woman I loved is dead in a morgue. You can’t expect me to keep sitting here without at least getting the chance to say goodbye,” Caitlyn finally spat out in a fit of anger. The hurt on her father’s face had immediately filled her with regret and prompted a soft apology. Still, Tobias took her hand and quietly said he understood.
With obvious reluctance, the doctor had discharged her, but only after she agreed to daily home nursing visits and physical therapy. Caitlyn was also required to use a walker at all times until her knife wound had healed enough. But finally, she was free and there was one place she had to go before heading home.
Benson, the family driver, looked unhappy, but didn’t argue with the address as he helps Caitlyn into the vehicle. Tobias grips her hand as they drive, his eyes frequently darting back to Caitlyn as they head across town, but she keeps her gaze focused on the window. Parts of the city are still shut down or only tentatively opening again. Volunteers from Piltover and Zaun both are working together to clean up. The businesses that are open advertise free food and discounts to those who helped fight.
“It will take time, but we’ll recover from this,” Tobias says, noticing her pensive gaze. Caitlyn merely nods silently. The city will rebuild, but without hextech it’s going to be a lot different. The Council needed to be restored and this time the undercity needed to have a voice on it. They wouldn’t accept anything less and they deserved better. Especially after the last few months.
Guilt claws at Caitlyn’s chest. Memories of security gates, cages, and unfair arrests fill her mind. How much time had she wasted chasing Jinx when she could have had Vi at her side instead? How many nights had she tried to bury the pain with Maddie, with someone she thought her mother might approve of more instead of just going to Vi and saying she had been right the entire time? Caitlyn had lost herself to revenge and ended up acting just like the very person she hated. What she wouldn’t give to go back and do it over. To have those few months together with Vi instead of still hearing Ambessa’s whisper in her ears.
Taking a deep breath, Caitlyn steadies herself and lets it out slowly. She doesn’t hate Jinx anymore, not like before, but the loathing she feels towards herself is worse than ever. Guilt drags at her like an anchor, and now Vi isn’t around to show her forgiveness to help her hold her head above water.
Maybe it’s what I deserve for my sins… my crimes, Caitlyn mused. Her left eye was itching again under the eyepatch. Resisting the urge to rub at it, Caitlyn instead takes another deep breath in and out. They’ve arrived at the morgue.
Getting out of the vehicle is as much a struggle as getting in, and Caitlyn almost regrets her impatience in leaving the hospital so soon. But once she’s seated, all she can think about is Vi. This is her last chance to see her and to honor her wishes.
Instead of sleeping on that final night before the battle, Caitlyn had stayed up late, furiously working. It was the only thing that helped settle her nerves and trembling hands. Naturaly Vi woke up when she realized Caitlyn wasn’t there and wrapped her arms around her as she worked. A will, contingencies, healthcare directives, even funeral plans.
“Planning your own funeral, cupcake? A bit morbid, but you do you,’ Vi murmured gently. Caitlyn blushed and snuggled deeper into her arms.
“I’m sorry, I just… I’m going to go mad if I don’t. Planning, working… it’s how I relax and settle my nerves. Planning for the worst is hardly something I want to do, but if I don’t…” Caitlyn trailed off and shook her head. Vi hummed and kissed her neck.
“If you don’t, then you’ll feel even worse, and that’s not a distraction you need right before the battle tomorrow. Especially since… one of us might not make it back alive,” Vi answered softly. Caitlyn nodded and turned to kiss her deeply.
“That’s the last thing I want to think about, but I also don’t want to prepare for tomorrow with any lingering regrets. I want…” Caitlyn paused and shook her head. “I need to know that you’ll be taken care of if something happens to me. Money to live off of, a proper house to stay in if you don’t feel comfortable living here, my family name for protection, all of that,” she finished.
“Cait,” Vi began, her eyes soft, but Caitlyn cut her off with another kiss and then a finger pressed against her lips.
“Let me do this for you. Let me take care of you, please?” Caitlyn begged, her hands tightening on Vi’s nightshirt. Vi stared at her for a long moment and then nodded.
“Okay, cupcake. I won’t argue with you on this, but you can bet I’m going to complain to that fancy statue they’ll put up of you once you’re gone,” Vi said with such a straight face and serious tone that it took a long moment for Caitlyn to realize she was being teased. She pushed away with a huff.
“You’re hilarious.”
“Aren’t I though?”
“All right, what do you want? I'‘ll be buried in the Kiramman family grave near my mother, but I don’t want to presume that you… well, I’ve made enough assumptions about the undercity already. I’m not sure how they do things down there,” Caitlyn confessed. Vi hummed and trailed her fingers up and down Caitlyn’s arm.
“A grave?” Vi scoffed. “Trenchers like us don’t get graves. Not like topsiders do. Too much bedrock, not enough soil. We usually get cremated instead. I mean, who doesn’t want to go out in a blaze of glory?” she asked, cracking a smile. Caitlyn had pinched Vi for that joke, but it only made her laugh harder before sweeping Caitlyn back into her arms. Sighing, Caitlyn had leaned against her, wrapping her arms around Vi’s waist and cuddling with her.
“It’s rare for a trencher to get a statue, to get anything at all, really. Vander was an exception. So I guess… spread my ashes topside under the sun. In the Kiramman Family Garden underneath the violets. I don’t need a fancy statue or anything, just… don’t let them forget I existed,” Vi asked, her voice cracking at the end. Caitlyn had pulled her tight at that, whispering a promise, before she pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss.
Grimacing, Caitlyn settles into the wheelchair and lets her father push her inside. She holds her hand in her lap, resisting the urge to fidget anxiously. The mortician is an aging woman named Clara with short, graying hair and warm round glasses. She looks more like someone’s grandmother and her kind air slowly puts Caitlyn more at ease.
They follow her into the back, and the cold sterileness of the room makes Caitlyn shiver. Across the room on a metal table is a body covered by a delicate white sheet. Immediately, Caitlyn’s hands slam down onto the wheels of the chair, stopping it.
“Caity?” Tobias asked, but she can’t take her eyes off the body. This is really happening. Somehow a part of her has kept hoping, wishing it was all a dream, but his makes it real. Too real. This is the last time she’ll ever see Vi again. Suddenly it’s all too much and Caitlyn can feel herself breathing faster, heart pounding as her palms sweat. Clara steps in front of Caitlyn, blocking her view and forcing her to look up.
“This can be overwhelming for many people. Why don’t you take a moment before we go further, hmm?” Clara offers. She pulls over a stool and sits down, taking Caitlyn’s hands in her own. Tears brim in Caitlyn’s eyes all over again and the weight of it all feels crushing.
“It was supposed to be me. She was supposed to come back safe. I was going to give her everything,” Caitlyn whispers softly. She can hear her father’s sharp breath behind her, but Clara doesn’t argue. She merely nods and squeezes her hand.
“Love is a difficult thing. Beautiful when you have it, painful when you don’t and war doesn’t spare either side. I bet each of you would have rather gone before the other, am I right?” Clara asks and Caitlyn nods with a tearful sniff. Clara pats her hand gently. “Then take all the time you need to say goodbye, dear. We’ve already started the arrangements you requested,” she says warmly. Caitlyn is so crushed by her own grief that it takes almost a full minute before those words register.
“The… that I requested?” Caitlyn asks, confused. She tilts her head back, but she can’t turn far enough back to look at her father.
“It wasn’t me, I’ve… been struggling myself lately,” Tobias says in quiet admission. Clara merely smiles as if she deals with this every day. Maybe she does. Grieving family who struggle to even remember what day it is.
“You’ve been through a lot, dear, so it’s quite normal that you wouldn’t remember. Grief does awful things to us. Here I’ll go grab the papers,” Clara says, excusing herself. Caitlyn sits there in confusion until the mortician comes back holding a few sheets of wrinkled paper and an open envelope. Caitlyn takes the large envelope and flips it over. It was the official stationery with the Kiramman seal and everything. But who did it?
Looking at the papers, Caitlyn sees everything she wrote that night together with Vi. Every thing they discussed down to the smallest detail. Vi’s preference for cremation, her desire to go to the public Kiramman Family Gardens in Piltover and be buried under the flowers. Even the joke she made about Caitlyn building a statue of her and making sure it “caught her good side.” It’s all there. And down at the bottom, written and underlined emphatically is a name.
Violet Lanes Kiramman.
Caitlyn’s eyes blur with tears. If Vi died, then she wanted to die with a proper last name, so she had picked Lanes in memory of where she grew up. Meanwile, Caitlyn had insisted that if she died instead, then she wanted Vi to have the family name and all the money and protection that came with it. Enough for her to live off of the rest of her life. So Vi thought about it for a moment and then grabbed a pen so she could add Kiramman to the end. They had only ever discussed it that night. Alone.
“I had gone to the back for a moment and came back to find someone at the counter. Lovely young woman with short blue hair and cloud tattoos on one arm. Said she was your proxy, and that you asked her to drop off these arrangements since you were still in the hospital recovering,” Clara says brightly, her voice pulling Caitlyn from her thoughts.
Blinking, Caitlyn stares at the papers again and now she can see it. The forged letters, the minor details on how the letters are a bit too jagged in places. Everything is rewritten in a style close enough to hers that any differences could be attributed to grief and stress.
“Didn’t give me a name, but she said you’d be coming by sooner rather than later,” Clara added. Caitlyn couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her lips. There was only one person who fit that description. One person who would sneak into the Kiramman mansion again, just for something like this.
“Everything is taken care of already?” Tobais asks, clearly confused. Clara nods.
“Everything. Unless you have some changes to make,” she explains. Jinx did this, all of this, and right now it doesn’t matter why. At this moment all Caitlyn can process is that it’s one less thing she has weighing on her shoulders. One less knife stabbing into her already broken heart.
That horrible, obnoxious, annoying, incredible little monster, Caitlyn thinks as her thumb trails across the words. Tears slip down her cheeks, dropping onto the page. It takes a second before she notices Clara’s hand on her arm.
“I’m sorry. What was that?” Caitlyn asks, wiping at her tears. The woman gives her a gentle smile.
“I just want to be sure that this is all in harmony with what you wanted,” Clara repeats. Caitlyn nods, her throat choking up with emotion.
“All right. I’ll go finish taking care of things. Take your time here, dear. As much as you need,” Clara assures her, patting her on the arm. Taking a deep breath, Caitlyn looks up at the table and the body on top of it.
“I’m ready,” Caitlyn whispers. Tobias pushes her wheelchair over and Caitlyn grimaces, but gets up to lean against the table.
“Could you…” Caitlyn trails off. She feels his hand on her lower back.
“I’ll be just outside the door over there. Call me when you’re ready, all right? I love you Caity. Be careful,” Tobias says, giving her a one-armed hug. Nodding, Caitlyn waits until he’s gone. Then slowly, carefully, she reaches over to pull the sheet back.
Vi looks so… peaceful. No more of that strain around her eyes or the constant tension in her shoulders, like she has to be ready to fight at any moment. If not for her blue lips and pale skin, she could almost just be sleeping.
“It was supposed to be me, you know?” Caitlyn murmurs softly. “If anyone was supposed to die, it was me. You would have argued with that in your stubborn, loving way, but… I felt like it was the least I deserved for what I did. I let you down. I failed my mother by not taking the shot, then I failed her again by becoming the very monster I hated. So full of rage and pain that all I wanted was to see the person responsible for my pain suffer,” Caitlyn scoffs and lets her head drop. “I wonder if that’s what Jinx felt when she first fired off that rocket. You tried to make me see I was acting just like her. Consumed by the same pain and suffering, but all I did was throw it right back at you,” she recalls bitterly.
“All I wanted was to prove myself. Not as a Kiramman, but just as Caitlyn. Instead, I failed at being an Enforcer every step of the way. And still… still, you took me back. Forgave me, loved me despite all I did and all my failures. You showed me I deserved to be loved and forgiven despite what I did and if I deserved it… then so did Jinx,” Caitlyn says lifting her head again.
“I thought long and hard after that argument we had. I knew you were right, just like I knew you would take the first chance you got to free Jinx from that cell. There was always a chance you would leave with her and I’d never see you again, but there was also a chance that she would stay. I was risking Jinx being free again in the undercity to do whatever she wanted. It’s not like I could catch her until she deliberately lured us into that trap and later turned herself in. She would have been free to remain a constant presence in your life and mine. I knew that… but I still let her go. I still chose my love for you,” Caitlyn murmurs. Reaching out, she strokes Vi’s hair. Still so soft to the touch.
“I wanted to give you everything. Not just my name or money, but a warm bed to sleep in and regular meals. A home where you could take off the wraps on your arms and just feel… safe instead of being the one who protected everyone else. You deserved that. You deserved so much more than this world gave you, then Piltover gave you. It’s not fair. None of this is fair,” Caitlyn spat out, hot tears burning her bad eye under the patch.
“We were supposed to grow old together. I wanted to marry you and hang your portrait up in the halls with my family. Adopt a few kids. Maybe even renovate one of the spare rooms so you could have a gym and punching bag to exercise with. I saw you fixing your gauntlets up before the battle and I was thinking of asking if you wanted to learn more about mechanics. Have your own place just to tinker with things,” Caitlyn chokes out.
“I wanted to give you the world, Vi. How am I supposed to navigate it now without you?” Caitlyn murmurs. Leaning down, she feels gently, taking her time because of her bad eye and lack of close range depth perception, but she finds the right spot and places a kiss on Vi’s hair. She refuses to think of her any other way but warm and full of life.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen next or where this city will end up, but I want to make things better with Jinx. Well, try to anyway. Maybe if I had tried sooner…” Caitlyn trails off with a weak smile. “Heh, I can still hear your voice chastising me for blaming myself and telling me it isn’t my fault. Maybe one day I’ll actually believe it,” she says instead. Sighing, she closes her eye and lets her tears drop into Vi’s hair.
“Goodbye, my love.”
——————
Sneaking onto the grounds of the giant mansion was still pitifully, embarrassingly easy. Especially with most of their servants now dismissed in the wake of Cassandra’s death.
“Murderer,” the tree hisses at her.
Frowning, Jinx adjusts her handheld scope a bit. All Jinx’s recon turned up was a maid, a driver, and a cook who makes breakfast and dinner, then bounces. Nothing to worry about. Lowering the scope, Jinx collapses it and shoves it through the back of her belt. Caitlyn has been home for a week now and Noxian troops are slowly shuffling off in their ships to head home as the city cleans up the mess from the battle. Apparently, Mel Medarda is going with them.
“One less councilor to worry about. Who knew it was that easy?” Mylo cackles. Scowling, Jinx waves him away. With Isha gone, the voices have been coming back again, but not as bad as before. It’s the stress and grief she’s been under that’s causing it. She’s still capable of recognizing that much now, and she hopes to keep it that way. Just the occasional quips and comments. Nothing worse. Not the screaming and scratching and…
Movement catches her eye.
Leaning forward, Jinx watches as Caitlyn slowly sits up, her pain obvious even from here. Slowly, Caitlyn slides her legs out of bed, but she doesn’t get up or use the walker nearby. She just sits there for a moment before her shoulders tremble with tears Jinx knows are there, but can’t see from this distance. Guilt gnaws away at Jinx’s gut. Caitlyn was the real deal. She always had been, and Jinx was too far gone to see it. Maybe if Isha had come along earlier, maybe if she had been more stable earlier, then things between them all could have been different.
It’s been… difficult since Vi’s death. Some moments feel like forever, and other times Jinx feels like it just happened. Ekko offered her a place to stay with the Firelights. A small apartment space high up and away from everyone else. She wasn’t keen on taking it, not with some of the bad blood still there between her and the others, but she had swung by there lately to sleep. She always snuck off before anyone but Ekko knew she was there. Ekko may have forgiven her, but he was just one person. Her old hideout literally flew away, so she didn’t really have many other places.
Although Sevika said Jinx could crash at her place if she needed to so that was something. Sevika had also been dropping subtle hints about helping her find someone topside. Someone who understood the voices and trauma. Jinx scoffed and brushed it off in the moment, but the idea kept lingering in her head. Like an itch she couldn’t reach around to scratch properly. Maybe somewhere in this fancy city was someone who could make her better. Someone who could make sure she didn’t go off the deep end again. Someone who could prevent her from getting someone else killed.
“Fat chance, psycho,” a nameless voice hisses so closely Jinx flinches and brushes at her ear. Whatever. This isn’t accomplishing anything. Caitlyn’s alive and hasn’t popped her stitches or lost her other eye. Mission accomplished, promise to a dead sister kept for another night.
Jinx stands up to leave when she notices Caitlyn getting up. Her movements are slow because of the pain medication and the wound on her side. Grabbing the walker, she pulls it over and carefully stands. For a moment she just stays in place, finding her balance. Her eye patch is off and Jinx can see the scar across it and the damage that’s rendered it blind.
She’ll be fine, Jinx tells herself. Except… there are an awful lot of flowers and gifts on the floor and good lord does one person even need that many get-well cards? No one ever died by tripping over a bouquet, she scoffs, but her eyes still drift over to the shadows in the room. The piles of gifts and deliveries that Caitlyn doesn’t have the physical or emotional energy to deal with.
Man, do I know that feeling, Jinx considers sourly. Still, she doesn’t leave. Caitlyn is blind on one side now and her close range depth perception is strongly reduced. Granted, Jinx tested it by closing one eye and doing some experiments when she was bored, but still! What if she slips on something? What if she falls? Tobias barely hears her speak when she’s right next to him. He would never hear her distress.
I swear, Vi. If you weren’t already dead, I’d kill you for making me play babysitter to your sugar momma, Jinx silently grumbles as she hops across the thicker branches and makes her way to the balcony. Caitlyn keeps it locked now, but that’s hardly a challenge. A quick pick at the lock and she opens the window with barely a creak. Caitlyn is too busy with her face scrunched in concentration as she shuffle walks across her ridiculously vast room.
Great powers of observation there, sheriff, Jinx muses with a smirk as she watches. Her smile falls as she notices a small hump in the rug Caitlyn is shuffling towards. It’s on her blind side as well. Chewing on her bottom lip, Jinx hesitates as Caitlyn, naturally, heads straight for it without noticing. On the other side, a letter has slipped loose from the small mountain and slid across the carpet. Right in her path.
She’ll be fine. It’s nothing serious, Jinx insists, even as her anxiety rises. She didn’t know if there was any kind of afterlife for Janna’s followers, but if there was, then Vi would surely find her there and choke her out if her precious girlfriend died from getting her foot caught on a rug or slipping on a get-well card.
Oh, but the beautiful irony, though….
Focus!
Jinx shakes her head and tenses up as the front of the walker rolls just past the curve, but the back leg gets caught on it. Looking down, Caitlyn growls audibly in frustration as she pulls at the walker, unable to see exactly what it’s caught on.
“For crying out loud,” Caitlyn audibly complains. Taking one hand off the walker, she tries turning more to see what the issue is. As she turns, her right foot, slipper and all, comes down on the get-well card and it skitters out from under her. It’s enough to throw off her balance and Caitlyn gasps as her left leg chooses that moment to buckle. The leg that was injured in Jinx’s bridge attack. The same one Caitlyn still shifts her weight off of sometimes when it bothers her. The one she never puts her full weight on unless she feels safe with Vi.
“Mark down another one for the guilty conscience!” someone cackles from the corner of the room. Jinx is already moving, her enhanced speed kicking in as her mind screams danger. She catches Caitlyn as she collapses on her blind side, catching her with one hand on her uninjured waist and the other on her back. Flailing, Caitlyn reaches out and snatches at the walker again with both hands. Jinx helps Caitlyn find her balance again, steadying her with firm hands until she’s stable.
Breathing shallowly, Caitlyn’s hands tremble as she leans forward. Taking a deep breath, she lets it out slowly and tries to turn and look, but forgets again that she’s blind on her left. A strangled noise of frustration escapes her lips as she turns forward again.
“I was hoping it was my dad, but I think you’re a little short to be him,” Caitlyn admits softly. Jinx scoffs.
"Wow! Thanks Jinx! I’m so glad you arrived, so I didn’t crack my head open on my opulent, overly priced tile floor,” Jinx sneers at her. Caitlyn lets out a breath that could almost pass for a laugh.
“It’s Ionian marble actually,” Caitlyn corrects her. Jinx rolls her eyes and then remembers she’s out of view.
“Sorry. You can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes right now, just so you know,” Jinx emphasizes.
“Jinx…” Caitlyn says, clearly exasperated. She yelps in surprise as Jinx pokes her in the back with her metal finger.
“Weren’t you going somewhere?” Jinx asks, giving her a gentle push. Caitlyn tenses up and smacks the hand away from her waist.
“I can do this on my own, thank you,” Caitlyn hisses at her. She clearly wants to turn around again, but hesitates and seems to think better of it. Jinx just makes a noncommital hum and crosses her arms as Caitlyn struggles to move the walker forward. The back leg of the walker is still caught on the rug and Caitlyn can’t see it without turning further to look with her good eye. And she can’t do that without letting go of the walker, which might leave her unbalanced enough to fall again. Jinx, however, keeps her mouth shut as Caitlyn figures that out for herself. A long minute of struggling later, Caitlyn finally stops and her shoulders drop in defeat.
“Jinx…” Caitlyn’s words trail off into mumbles.
“Louder,” Jinx demands.
“Could you please… help me,” Caitlyn asks, her words spoken as if through gritted teeth.
“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t quite catch it,” Jinx asks sweetly.
“I swear if I could move right now…” Caitlyn growls out threateningly. Jinx barks out a laugh.
“Oh please, you couldn’t swat a dead fly in your condition, princess. Here. Hold still and use my shoulder for balance,” Jinx orders. She can feel Caitlyn tensing up as she moved around her blind side. Still, Caitlyn hesitantly puts a hand on her shoulder for balance as Jinx crouches down. It’s easy to feel the sweat on her palm and the way her hand is trembling in a way that’s not just from her near fall.
She’s still afraid of me. Probably now more than before, thanks to how vulnerable she is. She couldn’t fight me off before when I kidnapped her from her bathroom. Now she wouldn’t even be able to manage that much. If I wanted to hurt her there’s nothing she could do to stop me, Jinx realizes. At one point, it would have brought her immense pleasure to realize that. But now? It sours the satisfaction in her gut and makes her chest tighten in shame. Jinx was tired of people being afraid of her. Quickly, she lifts one side of the walker and moves it further over the rug.
“Got caught on your fancy rug and your foot stepped on one of your infinite sympathy cards,” Jinx explains. She moves behind Caitlyn and kicks the letter back into the pile, before shifting around to her good side, making sure to stay in Caitlyn’s peripheral vision.
“Of course, I nearly died to one of the stupid things. I need to just burn them all,” Caitlyn grumbles. She pauses and turns, this time on her good side to look at Jinx with a narrowed eye. “Don’t even think about it,” she growls out.
“I said nothing,” Jinx says, holding her hands up innocently. Caitlyn sniffs and starts shuffling across the floor again, but every once in a while she stops and hesitates as if listening for something. Fear lines her body, and the walker rattles slightly from how Caitlyn’s hands tremble. Her breath is starting to pick up a bit. Night time, the bathroom, Jin’x presence there but unseen, all of them together are triggering her.
“I haven’t moved,” Jinx says softly. Probably not as reassuring as her not being here at all would be. Caitlyn hunches her shoulders slightly and doesn’t comment, but she stops hesitating so much and continues on to the bathroom. Once the door is shut firmly with several audible locks, Jinx sighs and turns to fix the carpet and pushes some cards further out of Caitlyn’s pathway. After some thought, she picks up one end of the carpet and pushes it, flowers, letters, and all to the far side of the room. There much better. There’s a loud crash from the bathroom that makes her jump. Jinx darts over to the door.
“I swear, if you’re doing this on purpose…” Jinx warns.
“I’m fine! I just knocked a bottle off the counter!” Caitlyn shouts back at her.
The things I do for you, Vi, Jinx thinks sourly as she waits. On second thought, Caitlyn opening the door and instantly seeing her glowing, pink eyes in the shadows is probably not the best for her physical or mental health. Especially when Caitlyn is clearly afraid of her already. Shoving her hands in her pockets, Jinx slumps back over to the window and ignores the burn of guilt in her chest. She casually leans against it and looks up at the moon as Caitlyn finishes her business and opens the door. Slowly at first, and then wider when she realizes Jinx isn’t hovering there ready to jump her. Still Caitlyn watches her intermittently as she shuffle walks her way back across the floor only to pause halfway there and blink in surprise.
“Did you move my rug?” Caitlyn demands incredulously. Jinx lazily rolls her gaze over to where Caitlyn is standing there staring at her now, rugless, floor.
“It was in the way. Can’t have you tripping again after I just saved you,” Jinx says casually.
“It was a gift from Councilor Hoskel!” Caitlyn objects. Jinx stares at her. “The… plump, balding man with the beard?” she clarifies. Jinx quirks an eyebrow. “The… oh nevermind, I don’t even know why I’m even trying,” she says, exasperated.
“Oh! The one no one misses,” Jinx responds, as it finally clicks. Caitlyn stumbles again and sputters at her in shock.
“That is not... he was a well respected Councilor!” Caitlyn objects shrilly. Now Jinx cackles and wipes an imaginary tear from her eye.
“Oh, now that’s a good one. Name one person who genuinely missed him and wasn’t immediately fighting like alley cats over his Council seat the day after he was gone?” Jinx counters. Caitlyn opens her mouth, closes it, and then scowls darkly at her. “I thought so,” she smugly concludes.
“You are missing the point,” Caitlyn snarls. Jinx waves it away.
“Can you just hurry this along? I’ve got better places to be, you know,” Jinx says, snapping her fingers insistently. Grumbling under her breath, Caitlyn slowly shuffles back to her bed and carefully sits down on it. Jinx strolls over, slow enough to look casual, but fast enough to actually assist. She moves the walker aside so Caitlyn can swing her legs back up under the covers. It’s obvious the effort has thoroughly exhausted her, but not so much that she’s able to go back to sleep with Jinx still there. Still, Caitlyn collapses back against her pillows, closing her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and turning towards her. The doctors tried their best, but her left iris and pupil are noticeably paler and a thin scar cuts across them both.
“Why are you here?” Caitlyn asks softly, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tries to catch her breath again.
“I can’t come see my favorite sister-in-law?” Jinx counters with a dismissive shrug.
“Jinx… please,” Caitlyn pleads with her. Jinx twitches at the desperation in her voice and the begging in her gaze. It’s a tone that reaches straight into her chest and pulls at all the guilt she’s tried unsuccessfully to bury. Jinx squirms uncomfortably and says nothing. Sighing in frustration, Caitlyn closes her eyes again, clearly starting to lose the battle against staying awake. “Fine. I’m not sure why I ever expect a clear answer from you on anything,” she says in defeat. Caitlyn is clearly getting ready to roll over and pretend to ignore her when Jinx finally spits it out.
“‘Take care of her,’” Jinx finally whispers into the darkness of the room. Caitlyn’s eyes pop back open, and she stares at Jinx questioningly. “That’s what Vi said… before she… before she let go,” she answers, her voice trembling at the end. Swallowing hard, Caitlyn’s eyes fills with grief and tears. She looks away and hastily wipes at them. “Figured the least I could do was make sure you didn’t die tripping over a carpet,” Jinx mumbles, making a poor attempt at a joke. Caitlyn nods, tries to speak, but a sob is all that comes out. She covers her mouth and turns away.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to…” Jinx trails off and picks at her fingernails. Well this was awkward. Clearing her throat, she tries again. “I just wanted you to know I’m done fighting. I’ve lost too much to it. We both have. I’m not promising to completely turn over a new leaf or anything and you wouldn’t believe me if I did. But I want to try and be better. I owe Vi that, her and Isha both. If I had done it sooner… realized it sooner then maybe they both would be…” she stops again and scoffs. “Doesn’t matter now anyway. I’ll still be around, just with less trouble this time I hope,” she states. Scuffing her feet, she heads back to the window and lifts it up.
“Jinx,” Caitlyn’s voice drifts across the room. She pauses at the window, listening. “Thank you for trying,” Caitlyn whispers. She doesn’t explain whether it’s for helping tonight or for being there with Vi. Jinx doesn’t ask. She just slips back out the window and shuts it closed behind her as she hears Caitlyn start to sob.