Chapter Text
(Lunch time, pov:???)
As I placed my food tray, I could hear him quickly walking to my direction. Turning around, I see him rushing to my direction. Holding his food tray with his right hand, it dangled near his waist — wobbling as he weaved past different students.
I silently waited for him to catch up. I don’t get why he was so far behind, even though I told him to follow me straight after I stood up. Maybe he conversed with my sisters or his ‘friend’.
Either way, we were already midway through lunch, so there was no time to speculate. I watched him with my blue eyes. With each step he took closer, my eyes focused a little more.. At one point I could feel my foot tapping the floor. Was I getting a bit impatient? Maybe. But could you blame me when my time with my new and only friend is on a fast moving clock.
After a moment of waiting, he finally reached me. Placing his own food tray at the return shelf. His black eyes moved from his untouched — and now placed — food tray toward me. With what seemed a small smile, he opened his mouth.
“Sorry, there's Miku. Got held back by two cute brown haired girls and a grumpy looking guy. He should take a few days off, but If I suggest that I'll probably get scolded for ten minutes about ‘how students job is to attend bla bla bla’. You get my point.” I could see him, rolling his eyes and trying to imitate a serious voice?
I only nodded in response. Somewhat having a difficult time understanding the meaning of his words. Were they about him getting distracted by my sister’s or being reprimanded by someone for not attending one day?
But still, I could feel my lips curving into a smile — I guess a small smile, as I'm incapable of making a big one — due to him complimenting my sisters. It isn’t everyday that people compliment others without any hidden agenda.
I gave a small glance at his food tray, that he didn’t even touch. I could feel something inside me turning. I didn’t know what. But I do know that the feeling isn’t nice. So probably guilt? The feeling intensified the moment I remembered him commenting about having nothing to eat. I am the worst. Aren’t I?
As I was occupied by my own self scolding thoughts, I didn’t even notice him getting closer to me. His footsteps were as silent as a ninja’s… or maybe it was just how loud the cafeteria was. With a snap of his fingers he snapped me from my trance.
I blinked once in surprise, then my eyes moved upward to look at his face — sadly I'm slightly shorter than him — tilting my head faintly, I asked. “What’s wrong?” My voice sounded flatter than I wanted.
“Miku, are you feeling okay? You’ve been silent for like 10 days, and your fingers are touching your headphones. Do you have headphonehebie? You know when you can’t go a moment without your headphones.” I could hear the worry in his voice, well at least before he started to tease me about my headphones.
I simply huffed at his nerves. I could’ve been seriously unwell and here he is making fun of me. “I’m fine. Also i don’t know what this headphonehebie is. Don’t make up stupid illnesses.” Well he was worried about me to some extent.
The feeling of still holding my headphone’s still existed, so I slowly let my finger too relax, letting go of my blue headphones. I probably unconsciously started to hold them, might’ve even worn them.
Well there are too many people around us, so i might’ve gotten nervous. At the end, where there are a lot of people, some might try to start a conversation, and I'm in no mood to talk with strangers — well more like never in the mood.
He doesn’t really need to know that, otherwise the teasing about me being shy would never end — I already get teased by my sisters about that too much. If he joins, then there would be no escape.
“Headphonehebie is a real thing. Like super real things, just because you never heard of it doesn’t make it fake. I pledge only to the scout's honour.” Why is he nodding? Trying to sound more convincing?
Waving my head softly side to side. “Were you a scout?” I asked, my head stopped waving, as I looked straight at him. He gave a soft smile, rubbing the back of his head, momentarily before dropping his shoulders.
Suby-kun began to wave his right index finger toward me. “ Tsk Tsk Tsk. Boy scouts aren’t only about the badge's dear Miku. It’s about companionship, traveling and learning essential skills like building a campfire or wooden house.”
My eye moved from his still waving finger to his face, with what I think a sly smile, I spoke. “So you know how to create a campfire? Or a wooden cabin?” I knew the answer to this question, but little teasing wouldn’t hurt.
“Not per se.” Like I thought, his voice wavered.
“So, you lied about being a scout… What else did you lie about?” I asked, narrowing my eyes to look more intimidating. But by the puffing of his cheeks, I don't believe it made me scary.
He fell on all four, holding his bandaged hand on his mouth, as he caught into it. He was clearly trying not to laugh… Itsuki was right, he is an unmannered boy. I looked down on him, with half-closed eyelids. and lips that were in a straight line.
However, our little cinema act was interrupted by a voice behind the counter. “Hey you two! Stop flirting, there are people waiting” Her voice temporarily shocked me. Not expecting someone to blatantly shout at us. I looked behind us, and I saw a small line of people waiting with their trays.
Some were looking at us with amusement, some were laughing at Suby-kun. I gulped, not used to being the center of attention, the itching from my hair increasing. I didn’t have much time to react before Suby-kun abruptly stood up and, with a laugh, began walking out of the cafeteria. After a second to recollect my thoughts, I followed him, not paying attention to the sounds behind us.
As I left, I gave one last glance at the lunch area and could see Yotsuba following our new tutor. Stopping briefly, I thought of going to them to ask. However, I shook my head and continued to follow Suby-kun.
Stepping out and glancing around while walking toward him, I could hear the laughter quietly fading away, replaced by snickering, then silence. Looking straight at him, the usual playful smile was plastered on his face. Great.
“Oh, Miku~ Now I’m the one waiting. Don’t you have any decency?” He’s looking at me, as if I'm the most entertaining thing he saw.
Rolling my eyes, the curves on my lips moved upward. “That is no way to speak with a lady.” Seeing him roll his eyes made me smile ever so slightly more. “Let’s get some snacks and go to the library.” It sounded like an order, even though I wanted it to sound like a suggestion. I still wonder… Why is that feeling still there?
“Straight to the point, eh Miku? That’s what I like about you. Rather than talking around the subject for ten hours straight, you go straight to it. Like a samurai slicing his opponent’s neck rather than arms then legs then neck—now that I think about it, being a samurai was hellish. Imagine not knowing if you’re going to die or live.” He’s gasping for air… Why speak so fast?
In either way. Yet again, he spoke hastily and a lot. If I got it right, most of it was about getting to the point. However, were there two or three different topics in the same sentence? How does he do it? “Suby-kun, you’re getting distracted.”
With a sheepish smile, he rubbed his cheek. “Heh, you’re right. Let me go straight to the topic. Like once I tried to read a manga, but it was in a boring part so I skipped some pages for the more exciting part, but I was left confused as I didn’t kn—”
“Subaru. To the point.” I scolded him. No nickname; otherwise, he wouldn’t think I was serious.
Why is he fixing his posture? “Right, right. To the point. Let’s. Go. To. Vending. Machine.”
I pushed my lips outward and turned my head to the left. How dare he make fun of me. I was generous enough to remind him, and here he is again. Making fun of me. He doesn’t take me seriously at all!
That is fine. I’ll show him how dependable I am. And he will kneel down and beg for forgiveness. Now that I think about it… wouldn’t he still do it if I asked? … Whatever, kneeling doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is for him to take me seriously.
“I’ll take the lead. Follow me.” Of course, I said it pridefully. Might’ve sounded a bit emotionless, but that is fine. It’s my usual voice.
“Umh… Do you even know the path, or are you just trying to act prideful? Because you look so adorable when you’re acting seriously like this.” I couldn’t see what he was doing, but I could feel it was something childish.
How dare he accuse me of acting! “I am serious. And I know the way,” I corrected him. “By your knowledge, I was inspecting the school yesterday.” In a way it’s true. I just wore headphones, ignored most people, and didn’t pay attention to the architecture of the school... Well, how hard can finding a vending machine be?
With that said, I began walking forward, bypassing Suby, who followed a step behind me, and… who was snickering behind me. I quickly turned around and glared at him — to my surprise, he was plainly looking at me.
“Is something wrong?” he said with a smile. I just shook my head and turned around. Again… the soft sound of laughing came from behind. Turning around, I still found him plainly looking, yet now he was staring straight ahead, as if avoiding me.
Maybe I’m just hearing things, so when I heard silent laughter again, I ignored it. Step by step, the laughter intensified. Yeah… I’m not going crazy, and he is, in fact, laughing at something.
Now turning around faster than Subaru could react, I stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. He was laughing at me… not even trying to hide it anymore.
I had enough.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, somewhat agitated and confused by his reason for laughing. Is he making fun of me?
“I—pfft. I jus—pff—just can’t…” he said while kneeling on the floor. I tilted my head. What he can’t? “Yo—pfft—you do know we are going to the back exit,” he said, trying to maintain laughter.
… “I know that.” Blatant lie. But he didn’t know.
“Is that right?” His voice sounded less questioning, then I’d like.
Or he did know… No, that’s just a question. I’m safe… for now. “Yes… I just wanted to take a longer path…” Another lie.
“In an area with no vending machines.” Ahh… That’s the reason.
…
“I knew that.” Third time’s a charm. My cheeks are slightly heating up. This is embarrassing.
Glancing down at him, I plainly said, “Get up,” before continuing on my path to find a vending machine.
Below is your passage with grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and small-word-choice fixes only. I preserved all original beats, names, and jokes — just tidied wording so the lines read cleanly in first-person Miku voice.
To no exaggeration, it took me five minutes to find a snack machine… and it was near the cafeteria, the place we’d just left. Just my luck. The worst part wasn't walking five minutes or the silent laughter escaping Suby-kun. It was the fact that he fake-coughed and said “right.” To my surprise, it was actually the path to the vending machine. Chances were I would’ve gotten more lost and wandered the school for the whole lunchtime. So much for acting serious.
Releasing a soft sigh, we stopped near the machine. I moved my left hand to my blue blazer pocket — taking out my wallet. Before I could take it out, Suby-kun cut in: “Hey, deal’s a deal — I said I’d pay for the next history runs, remember?”
“Aren’t you a gentleman?” I softly smiled, stepping back to let him get closer to the machine.
Why is he moving his right hand over his stomach and slightly bowing? “What may this faithful retainer get for his warlordess?” It’s hard not to play along with that enthusiastic voice.
Placing my index finger across my lip and chin, I tilted my head playfully — this was too much playfulness for my comfort. “Everything.” Sadly I couldn’t see his reaction because my eyes had drifted to the nearest corner by the counter. But if I had to guess, he probably had a dumbfounded expression.
“Or green tea and melon pan,” I added, giving an alternative I knew he’d choose. I turned my attention back to the glass separating us from the refreshments.
“Hehe… green tea and melon pan, coming up.” Suby-kun laughed sheepishly while my eyes were glued to the window. I could see potato chips and melon pan drop, followed by our drinks.
As the fourth clunk sounded, Suby-kun crouched to pick the snacks. I silently observed the variety of treats. Maybe next time I should try pumpkin bread? It probably isn’t as tasty as melon pan, bu— Is that window reflecting the silhouette of Yotsuba and the tutor? Behind the corner.
“Was that the green-ribbon girl and Fufu?” Seems I wasn’t the only one who noticed… He’s standing up to investigate. What should I do? If he finds them, then we won’t have any time to talk about the Sengoku period.
I gulped silently. I knew what I should do, but it was still a bit scary. Should I? I mean, we’re friends, so it should be fine… right? But what if he doesn’t like being touched? Wouldn’t I be crossing a line? Although he did pat my head yesterday, so maybe touching is fine — at least a little.
Either way, he was walking away. It was now or never. Quickly, I moved my arm and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt. “You must be seeing things.” I hoped it sounded plain enough. Otherwise he’d get suspicious.
Oh… he’s looking at me. It’s making me nervous… like he’s studying me with that blank look of his. Can I turn away already? No — that would only make me look more suspicious. After what felt eternal (but was probably just a moment), he nodded.
Phew… I was about to melt into water from all this pressure. I feel like Ieyasu hesitating against Katsuyori…
Quickly re-adjusting my turmoil, I saw Suby-kun had already picked up our goods from the vending machine. Time to depart.
Turning around, I began to walk away.
“Wrong direction — unless you want another detour around the school~” Does his tone always stay playful?
Puffing my cheeks, I went up to him and grabbed a green tea and a snack. “Fine, lead the way.”
“I shall complete my task, my lordess.” He can’t stop teasing me, can he?
As we walked, the feeling of guilt hadn’t vanished. Didn’t I feel guilty because he didn’t eat lunch? So why was it still there?
“Sooooo, what are you teaching me next? Is it finally the legendary Battle of Nagashino? Do please say it! I can’t wait!” His excitement is contiguous. Reminds me of Yotsuba… Who’s still following us.
Ah—my thoughts were interrupted again.
Shaking my head, I glanced up at him. “No. There were still events before the Battle of Nagashino.”
Why did his shoulder drop? Isn’t he interested in history? “Oh? I mean, I guess there would be… so we’ll speak about those first, then Nagashino.” His voice still held some excitement. I’m glad.
“Yes.” I plainly responded, averting my eyes.
“Can you tell me which we’re talking about first? Or are you gonna say, ‘It isn’t exciting unless you learn it yourself’?” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at his poor imitation of my voice.
“Knowing the battle names isn’t a bad thing for historians… it’s the spoilers of the endings that turn many people off.” In the end, it’s true — many people who hear the endings aren’t interested in learning the battles, especially when some are considered boring.
“So please, my dear sensei, teach me the names so I’ll know what to expect — but don’t spoil the endings; it will turn me off~” Back to teasing… But fine, I guess telling name’s isn’t bad.
I had to take a deep breath, otherwise I'd be gasping like a fish. “If we’re only talking about Oda Nobunaga… Battle of Moriyama Castle (1561). Battle of Moribe (1561 and 1563). Battle of Komaki (1563–1564). Siege of Inabayama Castle (1567). Campai—”
Why did he take a step back? “Woah, woah, woah. Calm down. That’s like — four different battles already. Aren’t you overdoing it? Shouldn’t there only be like two or three, until the Battle of Nagashino?” Do I hear a mixture of surprise and confusion in his tone?
Tilting my head, I frowned. What does he mean? Does he really think there were only a few battles? “I don’t know where you got that misconception… but there were at least twelve different battles until Nobunaga participated in Nagashino.”
“Tw-twe-Twelve?! What the hell was he doing? Challenging everyone who opposed him?” I didn’t expect the surprise in his voice. “I know there’s a 15-year gap between the Battle of Okehazama and the Battle of Nagashino, but god damn.”
Did he really think conquering Japan was an easy task? “Uniting Japan wasn’t easy. Those who opposed him were conquered,” I simply said. “There were a lot who opposed him.”
Moving his head over my left shoulder, he leaned closer so I had a better view of him. “There’s a lot to learn. The book is recommended—focused before 1550.”
Suby-kun closed his eyes and took a step forward. “I guess those books are just prologue. Who would’ve thought that fifteen books would have nothing about Nagashino?” Why does he sound disappointed?
Why is he crossing his arms? “It’s like files of a video game getting leaked, then needing to wait five more years for the game to release. A bummer.” Oh, the apathy was leaking from his words…
My pace slowed, as I felt my head drop a little. “Are you disappointed?” My voice… was softer than usual.
He didn’t even turn back as he answered. “You could somewhat say that…” I couldn’t stop my face from twitching at his words. The grip on my snack weakened.
I just wanted someone I could talk to about my interest in the Sengoku era… But I made him disinte—
“But, that makes the anticipation even better.” I couldn’t see his face, but he did uncross his arms. That alone was enough for me to lift my head again.
I quickly and silently cleared my throat so I wouldn’t sound sad. “What do you mean?” Tilting my head slightly to the right, I quickened my pace so I could see his expression.
“It’s similar to when you get a manga ending spoiled, yet you still read it.” He’s turning around to look at me?! “It isn’t about the spoiler, it’s about the experience you gain from it.” Why is he smiling at me, as if he’s not disappointed?
“And if the experience is talking with a cute Sengoku-chan… That’s a win in my book.” The warmth of his smile was contagious. I could feel my lips stretching upwards further than I knew was possible for me.
It’s a good thing he still had his eyes closed—because the heat in my cheeks was intensifying. I probably looked like a tomato. But… being complimented on my appearance feels nice…
I couldn’t help but avert my eyes from his face. As we continued walking, the blush on my face slowly began to fade. My eyes drifted from the window on my right, down to the floor, and then back toward him—or more accurately, I tried to glance at his head. Although…
He was walking backwards. Staring at me with open eyes. Still smiling. Before I knew it, my eyes frantically darted toward the bottom-right corner. The school windows and the walls between them blurred in and out of my vision.
Momentarily closing my eyes, I took a small breath. In. Out. Opening them again—hopefully more composed than before—I glanced at Suby-kun. “You should turn around. Don’t want any accidents to happen.” My voice carried less confidence and more emotion than I was used to.
“Alright, mom.” He finally turned around. I don’t think I could’ve handled him looking at me any longer. Huh? Why did he stop? “Is that ribbon-girl behind the bench?”
He was looking right behind me. Turning around, I spotted a green bunny-ribbon peeking out from the bench. …Yotsuba, if you’re going to hide, at least do it properly.
“That’s the second time. We should at least greet her.” I could hear the confusion in his tone. It would be nice to greet her… but I can’t let her know I’m into the Sengoku period.
As he walked toward Yotsuba, I panicked and slipped my tea into my left blazer pocket. Before I knew it, I had grabbed his right hand—making him temporarily stiffen.
He turned his head toward me, his mouth slightly open. “She’s likely playing hide and seek with Ichika.” Not the best lie I could’ve made.
Oh… He looked at me with an unreadable expression. His eyes weren’t on my face but… on our hands. His and mine—holding. I instantly let go, took a hasty step back, and opened my mouth to make an excuse.
“We should go.” But Suby-kun spoke first. As he walked past me, I caught a glance of his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes lacked their usual energy, and his tone was flat—emotionless.
Picking up my pace to match his, an uncomfortable silence manifested between us. Or… was that silence only awkward to me? I couldn’t read his expression to know for sure.
As we walked, the feeling of guilt still lingered. But wasn’t that guilt because he didn’t eat anything? When we got snacks, it should’ve gone away… Yet I still felt it.
Why? I could ask—No, ignore it. Ignoring would be easier, wouldn’t it? I’m not confrontational, nor emotional. So ignoring it would be easiest, especially with how complex this situation is.
If I ignore it, would it fade? Would I feel better over time, or would it haunt me at my lowest—or even my highest? If it were my sister, apologizing would be easy… So why wouldn’t my mouth open now?
Why am I holding my left wrist with my right hand? Why does my body itch at the thought of apologizing? Why do I feel like I don’t want to be here?
What would my sisters do in this situation? Ichika probably would play it off. Nino would either aggressively deflect or sweetly apologise. Yotsuba would feel guilty until she’s forgiven. And Itsuki would politely bow…
And here I am, trying to avoid it at any cost… I want to wear my headphones… I could feel my finger twitching toward my neck. Well, that was before I realised.
Now, I’m walking with my head slightly down, and an emotionless expression? I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. My fingers interlinking behind my back, restlessly moving or tapping each other.
I should just wear my headphones. Suby-kun wouldn’t mind, right? I mean, it isn’t uncommon for people to walk in silence, so if one wanted to walk with music, it would be the same, right?
But… wouldn’t that be rude? I never thought of doing that with my sisters, so I shouldn’t do this here. But he isn’t my sibling—he’s my friend, so… it’s fine, right? But would he be mad? Accepting? Disappointed? Discouraged? Uninterested? Supportive?
I could feel my fingers detaching slowly. With each step I took, my hand crept closer to my blue headphones. My stride, once similar to Suby-kun’s, began to change. With each step he took, I took one smaller, one slower—to a point where there was a noticeable gap between us.
As my fingers touched my headphones, a feeling of ease washed over me. My steps, once uncertain, became more assured. The lump in my throat slowly faded away. My fast heartbeat steadily subsided.
It feels comfortable. I only need to move my headphones up to my ears, and everything should be okay… right? When someone feels uncomfortable, they should do everything they can to feel comfortable… So why… do I feel sadness? Anger, and disgust toward myself?
Shouldn’t I feel positive emotions, not negative ones? Suby-kun would approve of this, right? He had a neutral expression—so it has to be his approval, right? Just in case, I should give one last look. My next few steps had more vigor than I realised. The gap between us disappeared in a second. I tilted my head to check his expression.
If you have a neutral facial expression, that would mean approval, right? You wouldn’t mind, as you probably had no intention of speaking, right? Just one glance, and I could wear my headphones, even if it’s only until we reach the library.
One glance. All it takes… So why… Why is it that I momentarily see a sorrowful expression on your face? Why did you look like you were afraid of being alone? Left alone.
So how… no, why are you smiling now? The same smile as yesterday—when you talked about yourself.
You’re smiling now. So does that count as approval? I could just wear my headphones, muting all the outside sound. Be in my safe haven… but could I really forgive myself, after seeing that look on your face? Would I even want to forgive myself?
…No… I wouldn’t.
Closing my eyes, I let my fingers drop behind my back. I took a silent but deep breath. Opening my eyes, I could feel itching and a high heartbeat reappearing.
Maybe I cou—no, if I don’t do it now… I know I won’t be capable of doing it later. So with a lump in my throat, I forced myself to speak. “Suby-kun, can I… can I ask a question?” I could feel my voice wavering a few times.
But to my glee, Suby-kun turned around with a smile—though it seemed more fake than real—and nodded. “Umh… do you… are you angry… at Nino?” Why is it that I can’t speak my words clearly?
Oh, he stopped. Him looking at me just makes me more nervous… Is it too far to go back? “Mad? Why would I be Miss Queen Tsundere?” He sounds confused. Why?
The urge to move my eyes away from his gaze is strong. “For threatening you.” A few words, but hopefully my voice sounded more flat than what I heard.
“Ah, that… well, if I’m honest, I truly want to be angry at her… like really want to. The accusations she threw at me could’ve gotten me kicked out or even arrested. My life could’ve been ruined!” He’s making one of his silly poses again. Aren’t you mad? So why do a pose?
“You speak as if you forgave,” I silently muttered. His angry voice seemed fake rather than genuine, which is what confuses me—not to mention his first few words.
He moved his right hand’s index finger toward his mouth. What are you thinking?
“Forgave? Huh… I guess you could say that.” Before I could reply, he continued. “What she said wasn’t nice and all, but she said it because she was worried for you. And if I’m being completely honest, I was mostly at fault.” Why is he blaming himself? And why begin rubbing the back of his neck?
My gaze drifted back to the floor. I couldn’t look at him anymore. Why is he blaming himself, when it was my fault? I released my interlocked fingers. “No, you’re not.” My voice was probably too soft to hear.
Silence continued between us, until I heard footsteps. I picked my head up and saw him walking away, swinging his head left and right—he’s happy?
After standing still for a moment, I deliberately had to force my legs to walk. As the distance between us became smaller: “You should be happy, Miku.” Why did his words carry happiness?
Yet, I couldn’t answer him. My head hung slightly low. With each step I took, I stepped softer. Due to my angle, I couldn’t see his face.
“You know… feeling guilty is a sign of growth.”
I could feel my head moving upwards, even for a centimeter. “You feel guilty because you realise your faults. It means you’re a better person than who you were.” His voice sounded so gentle.
Oh, he stopped near a door. “Miku, feeling guilt doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It means you know what wrong you did, and what actions you won’t do later.”
I also ceased my walk. My legs felt like they were about to drop any moment. Did I really grow as he says? Do I really know I won’t make the same mistake later in life? I could feel my left hand gripping itself tightly—my nails leaving white imprints.
“I know a shortcut,” Suby-kun said. I could hear a metallic door handle being pressed down. “The fact that you feel guilty makes you super amazing. Not everyone is capable of owning up to their mistakes. And when they do, they’d run away… make excuses, or ignore them entirely.” I heard the click sound coming from the door.
Suby-kun pushed the door outward. The yellow sun rays flowed into the building. With each centimeter the door widened, the sun’s warmth crept up my body—until it reached my face. I could see him turning around but… “So Miku, are you going to run away? Or conquer it, like a warlordess?”
The sun clouded my vision. His silhouette was nothing but a blur. But what I could see was his joyous smile. Well, that was until he jumped down to the floor. The creaking of the door woke me from my daze, as it slowly drifted closed. I placed my left hand against it—stopping its momentum. Taking two steps down, I looked around the area.
We were in the garden? Looking further away from Suby-kun, I could see another set of doors—leading to another section of the school. Probably the library, if I had to guess.
Now that I think about it… wasn’t it raining a moment ago? My eyes drifted to the nearest plain of grass—I could see small droplets of water leaning on each strand. My attention shifted to a moderately sized tree. The leaves were still drenched in rainwater, and some—rhythmically—dropped from the tree to the ground.
I focused back on Suby-kun, who was slowly walking away. I steadily matched his pace.
“You know, if you feel guilty you could always apologise to that person. Like once I found a turned-on oven and I turned it off—but my mom was making dinner, so I felt like absolute trash!”
Why is he placing his hands on his head? “Wait! I’m getting off topic. What I mean, Miku, is that your feeling of guilt will never disappear until you confront it.”
He stopped to jump over a small puddle. “Like a debuff in a game—always with you, until you beat the game.”
Momentarily, my gaze lingered on the small puddle. My gaze shifted upward toward Suby-kun. He does talk a lot about video games. Walking around the puddle, I quickly caught up to his left side. “What if you’re afraid of another person’s opinion?” I could feel my grip tightening.
He glanced at me. “It’s normal to be afraid of something unknown. But don’t let those emotions control who you are. Miku, you’re you because you want to be, not because other people’s opinions forced you.”
It’s not as easy…
“It’s not as easy as I say. You are shy, so stuff like this is not your strong suit. Doing something like this is probably more difficult than I can imagine.”
As Suby-kun spoke, he opened the metal door. “In the end, it’s only you who can decide what is possible for you.”
We reached the other side already?! “After you, M’lady.”
Why is he playfully bowing? Either way, the guilt I’m feeling won’t disappear until I apologise… I could feel my body tensing up at the prospect. He isn’t mad at Nino, so it’s fine, right? So can I do it? He said I shouldn’t be afraid—no, that it’s fine to be afraid… it just matters if I conquer it or be controlled by it.
Taking a few steps forward, as I heard the metal door closing, I turned around, holding my hands behind me—my left hand holding my right wrist—taking a small breath. I focused my attention on Suby-kun, now walking toward me.
“…I–” Why can’t I speak? I did it once when I asked about Nino… so why can’t I now? I… have to… even if I’m worried. “…Subaru… I-I’m…”
He stopped… I got his attention. It’s now or never. “Subaru… I’m sorry for the lunch… accident…” I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
“What lunch accident?” Why does he sound so confused? And what does he mean? I slowly opened my eyes to see a clearly confused Suby-kun.
“When I didn’t defend you against Nino…” The mention of the event caused me to grip my wrist even tighter.
“Oh… is that why you were worried?! You wanted to apologise to me? I thought you h—” “What I mean is that you’re super amazing, for apologising. It must’ve been hard. But I never doubted my friend.”
I could feel my eyes slightly widening as the curves of my mouth traveled up. I quickly turned around. I can’t let him see me like this.
“Ready to go?”
What the?! How did he silently appear next to me? I must’ve truly been distracted by my own thoughts. “Yeah,” I responded. I think he heard a bit more emotion in my voice than usual.
Although the lunch break should be ending soon, it’s still enough time to talk about the Sengoku period… but first—I faintly glanced back—I should take care of these two stalkers…