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He ran a hand through his already messed up hair and let out a heavy sigh. Rhodey, his best friend and ride or die, just rolls his eyes and continues sipping on his white mocha latte. 

"I think you're being dramatic," he said, giving Tony a look.

He huffed indignantly. "That's not fair. I'm always dramatic."

"In this case, overdramatic. Steve likes you, and he already knows this about you. He should know what he's in for by now."

He hates that Rhodey's logic makes sense. Because he's his voice of reason, he always makes sense. Tony just feels the need to argue about it either way. He's convinced it means his brain is wired wrong. Rhodey just calls him an "overthinker."

"But I'm just going to mess it up. I always mess this part up," he admits, voice growing quiet near the end.

He squeezes the coffee cup in his hands lightly. It was still hard voicing his insecurities aloud, even when it was just him and Rhodey. They were in a small local coffee shop, not his choice of course, but it was one place they could go to just talk where they knew the press wouldn't find them and the workers wouldn't flip their lids because oh my god the Avengers are drinking coffee in our cafe! 

"Tony you asked him out already and he said yes. That was the hardest part."

His argument of "How am I supposed to convince him to stay?" died on his tongue. "It's always that easy, huh Honeybear?"

Rhodey rolled his eyes. "It really is. And I'll repeat: you're dramatic."

Tony smiled at him, more sincere than he would be with anyone else, "love you too, Sour Patch."

--

They met outside of the elevator on the common level, on a Wednesday evening when the tower was finally empty.

"Hey," Steve greeted him with a warm smile, holding a bouquet of flowers. 

Tony immediately blushed. Because Steve was already way too good for him. "You got me flowers?" He asked, wishing he didn't sound so surprised.

Now it was the super soldier's turn to blush. He shrugged, "I uh, I saw them while I was grocery shopping and just grabbed them. It felt right."

And then he holds them out to Tony, who accepts them more than gratefully. He even brought them up to his nose to smell them, making a show of it. "They smell nice."

Steve looked away and rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling. "You can just leave them in here, since we are driving together, I suppose."

Tony nodded and made his way into the kitchen, finding an unused vase Pepper bought to help them furnish the place, filled it with water and dropped the roses in. He centered them on the counter and cocked his head at the blonde still waiting for him. "Well. Dinner awaits, handsome."

He enjoyed the way he could make Steve flush and flounder at every tiny compliment. It was hard not to when he looked at him. Tony Stark was a naturally flirtatious man, being a Gemini of course, but with Steve it just felt like second nature. It came too easy.

That was part of what scared him. He was very different from Steve. Steve Rogers was a sweetheart, even if he was their strong leader. He still went grocery shopping, even though Tony placed online orders, simply because he liked picking out his own produce. He was kind in the most sincere and genuine way, never making you second guess how he felt even once. The type to bring you flowers on a first date, even if you lived in the same building. He was honest, and handsome, and overall perfect.

Tony on the other hand, was not.

His past was plagued with bad decision after bad decision. His reputation preceding him in an awful light. He changed so many times, and he was still worried it wasn't enough. Of course he would never tell anyone that. He was the master of a poker face. Nobody could know that the genius Tony Stark was a fucked up mess in the head. 

Especially not the man of his dreams.

Steve opened the passenger door for him. He turned the radio down so he could hear him, and then proceeded to laugh at every dorky joke he made. He opened the door for him at the restaurant too, and didn't even flinch when people's gazes immediately found theirs.

They were seated in a booth toward the back of the restaurant, a nice Italian place of Tony's choosing. It was hidden away, of course, but not enough to keep people off their tails. Usually Tony wouldn't bat an eye, but the fact that Steve was with him made him nervous. He didn't want to take the glorious super soldier down with him.

They both ordered champagne, and Steve asks, like he's been holding it in all night, "Are you alright?"

Tony looks up, caught off guard, because he swore he hid his anxiety very well, "what? Of course?"

Steve, to his dismay, had a soft smile. "Are you sure? You haven't seemed like yourself since we walked in."

"Of course I have," he said, sipping his champagne. "What, think you were going out with someone else?"

But then Steve frowns, because of course, Tony had to go and say the wrong thing. "We don't have to do this. If you're having second thoughts-"

"No!" Tony says immediately, overly loud. "No, no, I want to."

"Then why..." Steve trails off, head tilted in concern. 

Because of course, instead of being mad he was just worried. He was just too good.

"I'm feeling anxious," he admitted with a sigh, shoulders drooping. "I didn't want you to find out and run away. I didn't want to mess this up like I always do. I didn't want the way people see me to affect you."

"Shellhead," Steve said softly, gaze full of what could only be recognized as admiration. How a stupid nickname could hold so much sweetness, Tony wasn't sure. 

He reached out and grabbed Tony's hand on the table, squeezing it. He rubbed his thumb across the back of it, watching Tony's reaction carefully. If he didn't notice Tony's jitteriness before, he definitely did now.

"Steve," he whispered, "people are watching."

Because it was true. He could already feel the eyes around him. And if people in the restaurant kept their mouths shut, it wouldn't matter if they left here together. He had a feeling no matter how this went they were screwed, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that.

"I don't care about them, Tones," he said in that gentle tone that gave Tony butterflies. "I care about you."

"I don't want to be... too much for you."

"Tony I knew what I was getting into when I said yes to going on a date with you. I want every part of this. I'm all in."

His eyes widened, because out of all the things he expected to come out of tonight that wasn't one of them. They'd barely gotten to the exposition part of the date and Steve was already saying I'm all in, and holding his hand and comforting him of all his worries. With Steve holding his hand, he could already feel everyone around them melting away.

"Why aren't you scared?" He asked.

"Because I have you," he said simply, because it was that easy.

"Oh."

And weirdly that made sense. Because this was their date, and everyone around them could go to hell for all he cared. With that realization, also came the funny realization that he too was all in.

--

A few dates later, because they surprisingly made it that far, Tony grabs Steve's hand suddenly. They were standing outside of a restaurant that they never planned to actually go to, but it had started raining and he suggested they hide out until it passed over. 

"Tony?" Steve asked, an amused smirk dancing on his face.

But the mechanic grinned ear-to-ear, gaze moving from the freshly wet pavement to the blonde's. "I want to dance."

Steve just blinked, clearly bewildered. "You want to-what?" 

"Am I speaking German or something? I want to dance with you!"

"What? Here? Right now?"

Tony just grabbed his other hand and tugged him to the empty street, lit only by the dim orange streetlights. It was later than they'd originally planned on staying out, but Tony was spontaneous and Steve seemed to enjoy just going along with it. It was something about the look of New York post-rain, something about the strangely romantic lighting. Something about it all just made Tony want to dance.

Steve laughed, a warm and hearty thing that was music to his ears. "You're such a goof," he said, but it wasn't an insult.

Tony spun him around, smirking as Steve fell captive to Tony's wits once again. "Usually," he replied.

"I haven't really danced with someone since the war," Steve admitted, ears tinted pink.

"Oh yeah?" Tony asked, "is it everything you've been missing?" He teased.

The soldier smiled so warmly Tony was worried it'd be burned into his retinas. "Everything and more," he said, voice sickeningly sweet.

"Gah, don't be sappy," he said, leaning forward and planting his cheek into Steve's shoulder. 

He knew they looked stupid. Like they'd just jumped out of a teenage rom-com. Something about that was oddly endearing. 

He felt a warm kiss planted to his hair, and then he felt the familiar heat rise to his cheeks. "You make it impossible to not be sweet."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Everything makes that impossible for you," he said. "You're a natural sweetheart."

--

Steve was overly hot when he drove Tony's cars. Every time Tony swore that this was it, this man can not can any better, Steve just proves him wrong. One hand on the wheel, he drives slow and easily, making Tony's stomach twist and turn with what couldn't be love. Because it was too soon for love. They'd only been dating for about a month, and he knew the last thing he wanted was to rush Steve. But it was hard when the man made it so easy to... care for him.

Steve reached over and grabbed Tony's hand, bringing it to his lips and planting a soft kiss. And of course, Tony cheesed. He smiled in a dorky way and glanced out the window, pointedly avoiding Steve's knowing eyes. 

"Are you excited?" Steve asked.

"What? To be attacked by Clint's little army of gremlins?" He quipped.

He was met with a soft chuckle. "I think it's sweet that his kids like you."

He blushed and rolled his eyes. "It's annoying," he lied because he knew Steve would know he was lying. He actually, weirdly, didn't mind Clint's kids. Even if they were small and sticky and somehow always had jam on their hands. Really, where do those jam hands come from? 

"It's endearing," Steve insisted. "Being a family man is a good look for you."

That mere statement was enough to make Tony's back flood with sweat. They hadn't really talked about kids yet. The thought of being a father just made him nervous. Because of course, being a Stark, he was riddled with memories of everyone his own father lacked. He wasn't sure he'd be able to make up for it with his own kids.

"What are you thinking about?" Steve asked, and now he was looking at him instead of the damn road.

He shrugged. "Nothing important."

"If it's bothering you, then it's important to me," his boyfriend says, which is so adorable its almost gross. Keyword: almost.

He sighed softly. And then, "my dad."

He could imagine Steve's face pinch with worry, even though he wasn't looking at him. "Do you want me to talk or listen?" 

"Maybe just distract me?" He asked, hoping it didn't sound too pleading. 

Steve was always so gentle with him. So understanding. He chatted, noncommittedly about an art piece he was working on back at the tower. He always worked hard to pull Tony out of his brain. He understood that sometimes, especially for a genius, his mind went overtime. 

Steve kissed the back of his hand again.

There was no better cure for anxiety than a trustworthy boyfriend.

--

He stood in the doorway of Steve's bedroom, already regretting coming up here. Months in, they'd slept together multiple times, kissed every single day, and he was still embarrassed about his panic attacks. 

"Tony?" Steve asked, speed-walking out of his bathroom, wrapped in a towel, to meet him. "Are you alright?"

He took a shaky breath, clenched his jaw, and simply shook his head. And then, realizing Steve literally jumped out of the shower for this, he turned to leave. "You're busy. I'm just going to go-"

"No," Steve said, grabbing his wrist gently, stopping him. "No, stay. You're shaking."

His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth twitched downward in a worried frown.

"I uh-just had a panic attack. But it's okay. I'll just sleep it off." He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not sure why I came up here."

Steve smiled softly. "Probably because I'm your boyfriend and you know I'd never leave you like this. Come on."

He led Tony to sit on his bed, and then walked back into the bathroom. He sat there for a quick minute until Steve came back out fully dressed and closed the door. He then sits next to him and immediately goes to run a hand through his hair. Tony hates the way he melts into the touch, yearning for comfort.

"Talk or listen?" He offered gently.

"Hug me?"

"Oh Tony, of course," Steve says, pulling him in close and safe. He kisses his forehead and rubs his back.

Steve is a touchy-feely kind of guy, and Tony learns that with Steve, he is too. He wants to be held and cuddled and coddled until he can't remember anything but the feeling of his boyfriend's mouth on his.

Tony pulls him in for a real, genuine kiss, because he feels the need for it deep in his bones. It isn't their first kiss, in fact it's far from it, but it's flawless, and it lifts Tony away. He breathes much easier afterward. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" He asks quietly.

"You can always sleep in here, Shellhead," Steve says. Because Steve is perfect. A pillar. A grounding beam for Tony on even his darkest days.

Steve makes love easy, even if Tony will always be a little scared of it.