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You close your eyes, gritting your teeth as you try to focus on what Noelle is saying, but your head is pounding. Splitting pain dances across your vision in flashes of light as the migraine works its way into your flesh.
You need to get out of here. You can’t be alone with her, you can’t trust this. And what about Susie? She could be anywhere right now. You need to get that guitar. You can still fix this. You can-
“...Kris,” Noelle’s voice is soft and warm. You can’t help but think about a cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter night. You flinch as you think about the cold, but Noelle continues while unaware. “Can I…. Say something else?”
Proceed
The words don’t leave your mouth, thank the Angel you are able to stop that. The air changes. Your eyes open wildly, scanning the room while you try to focus past the pain.
You only catch the briefest of glimpses before it darts through the air. Skimming along the surface of reality like a skipped stone. You are not able to let out so much as a squeak before it presses into you.
Its roots dig in tight, scraping along the scratched vinyl of your being. It squirms within yourself, curling around nerves and fibers as the familiar grip tightens. It finds purchase within you.
You open your mouth to scream. You stand up and run as far as you can. You cry. You beg for forgiveness. You apologize for what is about to happen.
What? You didn’t do that?
No. Instead you look up, and catch her eyes with your own. You smile. Noelle stiffens for a moment, but she smiles back. A faint blush filling her face. You listen to Noelle’s words. You were always listening to her. You heard every last word.
“Kris….” She gives the briefest glance in your direction, a hint of pink on her cheeks. “Kris, there… there was something else you did. Something else I have to ask about.”
You tell her to shut up. You tell her that you hate her and never want to see her again. You tell her that you have always hated her even as the words bring tears to your eyes.
What? You didn’t do that?
No. Instead you watch as she scoots to sit closer to you. At first you shift a few minuscule inches away from her, but then you correct this mistake and lean closer to her. You can smell the faintest hint of gingerbread from her hair. It smells wonderful. Don’t you want to be even closer?
“After you said all that… you…” As she speaks, Noelle raises one of her hands. The gesture is almost subconscious, but your eyes focus on her hand. Wouldn’t it feel nice to reach out and hold it? “You took my hand… and pulled a thorn from my finger.”
You leap across the couch and cover her face. You beg for her to stay quiet. To shut up and let you leave.
What? You didn’t do that?
No, instead you run your hand through your pockets. You should give her a gift. It would make her happy. You want nothing more than to make her happy. You want nothing more than for her to be able to protect herself. That way you won’t have to stay up late protecting her. Wouldn’t that be nice?
“Then you said….” Noelle looks to you with a bemused smile. “You said that when I saw you again…”
You rip out your soul with no regard for Noelle seeing. You throw it to the ground. You stomp on it over and over until your body can no longer function.
What? You didn’t do that?
No, you’re still busy looking for a gift for Noelle. It was really rude of you to take it away from her. You shouldn’t take gifts back after you give them, Kris.
“You said…” She moves ever closer. You can feel her shaky breath on your skin. You can feel the warmth of her blush. You can imagine how soft her fur must feel. Don’t you want to feel it for yourself? “You said not to mention you did any of this… or…”
You ruin the moment by stopping your search for Noelle’s gift and pressing your hand against her mouth. Her fur is a soft as a dream. You desperately want to pull her in for a hug. So why don’t you stop ruining the moment and let it happen?
She laughs, lowering your hand from her mouth.
“Kris, it’s okay! It’s just us!” She laughs again. It sounds angelic. “You just said not to mention any of that because it’d get heard!”
You once again cover her mouth. You cannot help but imagine how amazing it would feel to—
“...Kris?” Now she’s looking at you with more concern than bemusement. “Kris, it’s okay. It’s really just us.”
You shake your head. You know she’s never alone. And she’ll never be alone again. Right, Kris? Not when I’m here.
“Who…?” She leans back, but you grip tightly to the front of her shirt. You never want her to go away again. “Who’s going to hear?”
“Me.” She freezes as my words leave your mouth. She tries to move farther away, but you hold her in place.
“Kris…?” She’s scanning the room. Assessing the situation. “K...Kris, your voice… it…” A forced smile spreads across her face as she trembles. “Ha… ha… Kris, that’s… another joke, right…?”
“That voice… how… the voice from my dreams…”
Her thoughts ring clear in your mind. You smile. Her forced grin fades .
“Because it wasn’t a dream.”
She screams as she leaps away from you. Finally pulling herself free of your grip as she falls back on the opposite side of the couch. You can feel her heartbeat. Lively and panicked unlike the unnatural stillness of your own. So full of life.
“S… Sorry, Kris…” She’s hyperventilating. The poor, delicate flower. She needs you to help her. Won’t you help her, Kris? Help her feel better. “What did you say? I must have misheard you.”
“No… there’s no way they… they heard…”
“There’s no way they heard… my thoughts.”
“I heard.” She freezes. Staring at you with those beautiful eyes while she struggles to process my words. She’s still in denial. We will have to fix that.
“W...What are you talking about, Kris? I… I didn’t say anything!”
“It’s impossible. That’s impossible. It’s just a coincidence.”
“It’s not a coincidence.” Her muscles tense. You watch her eyes dart to the door. She could easily outrun you. And yet she stays. That terrible curiosity… isn’t that what you love about her, Kris?
“If you can hear me…” She keeps her mouth clamped shut. Almost as if she’s making sure she doesn’t accidentally say the words aloud. “Say “red” or “blue.””
“Red.” She shudders before continuing.
“Say… “green” or “black.””
“Black.” She clenching her fists so tight that her nails are digging into her palms. Any more and she’ll draw blood. It’s far too early for that.
“Say… say “it didn’t happen.” Say “it didn’t snow.””
“It happened. It snowed.” She squeezes her eyes shut, but it doesn’t stop the tears from running down her face.
“You’re… You’re lying!”
“Noelle will get stronger.” That is what you wanted, wasn’t it? You were so worried about her. So worried that she would end up hurt because of what you’re doing. You’re doing all of this for her, after all.
“K...Kris?” Her eyes are puffy and red from the tears as she opens them. “Kris, what did you say?”
“Equip.” You finally found her gift. Small and pointy. Easy to get lost in your pockets. It would have been so easy to just throw it away last night, but you couldn’t do that. Isn’t that right, Kris? You couldn’t bear to throw away what you have with her. Ever so sentimental. You move across the couch and towards Noelle, your gift in hand.
“K...Kris? Kris, what is that?”
“Proceed.” This is for the best. You know that she could never be safe without you. You think Susie will keep her safe? You think Susie deserves her after all the work you’ve done for her?
“Kris… that’s not the thorn, is it?” You continue moving forward. “Kris, that’s not the ThornRing, is it?”
“Proceed.” Her hand shoots out on your command. She’s using all of her mental will to keep it clenched tight into a fist. Tsk, tsk, we’ll need to work on that.
“K…Kris… c’mon. You… you still…” She’s trembling as you take her fist into your hand. You run your fingers over her knuckles. Memorizing every last detail. Doesn’t this feel correct, Kris? Don’t you deserve this? Isn’t it wonderful? “What about… what about last night? What about…” She catches your gaze as tears flow down her face. “Didn’t you… want to… protect me…?”
“Proceed.”
“Why… Why can’t I move?”
With the gentle touch of your hand you make her open her fist into a relaxed palm.
“Why… Can’t I… Look… Away?”
You look her in the eyes and smile. This is going to be wonderful.
“NOELLE DO SOMETHING!!!!”
“Equip.”
“Kris, I really think I,” She stammers as you bring the ring towards her finger. But she does not pull away. “I mean, I just,” You always loved how cute she got when she was scared. That’s why you always terrorized her, isn’t that right? “I think I need to,” Aren’t you happy? Aren’t you excited? “G-gosh I think I need to,”
She’ll finally be yours.
“Equip.”
With one final push you jam her gift into her ring finger. Digging deep into flesh until you pierce the bone. She doesn’t scream. She can’t anymore. She remains frozen with her eyes wide and mouth left open in a silent shout.
Blood runs down her finger and over your own hands. You try to intertwine your fingers with hers as she bleeds for you, and she immediately moves to match you. Her face contorted in silent horror as she gives her own smile to match the one on your face.
Now Kris, for your reward. For our reward. After all we’ve done for her, we deserve it.
You lean forward to kiss her, and she mirrors your movements. Her lips are an extension of your own. Matching your pace with cold and mechanical execution. You raise one hand to cup her cheek. She wraps one arm around your waist to pull you closer. You feel her heartbeat move in sync with your own. The same sluggish pattern in spite of the intimate contact.
You dig your fingers into the back of her neck, drawing more and more blood as you lose yourself in her. She does not react, merely focused on matching your pace. Your one hand continues to dig into her, and your other—
Pain. Lights flashing across your perception. There is nothing but anguish and a deep, burning, pain.
You throw Noelle away from yourself, blood coating your arms as you hold your soul away from your body. Noelle doesn’t react to seeing it. She doesn’t react to you pushing her away. She remains still. Waiting for her next order.
You feel sick, you’re going to vomit. There’s so much blood, you can’t breathe. You turn and run. To be anywhere that isn’t here. To be anywhere that doesn’t force you to look at what you’ve done.
As you run out the door, you faintly hear Noelle’s voice. Weak and battered, but beneath it all an emotion that you struggle to identify at first.
Gratitude.
“Thank…. You….”