Chapter Text
Nick, really, really hoped that Charlie hadn’t changed his number over the last year and a half.
Or blocked him, actually.
But they’d broken up on good terms and he had no reason to think Charlie would suddenly block him. Just to be safe, he went to check on Charlie’s Instagram, they weren’t friends anymore, but he was relieved to see he could still view it. He hadn’t really wanted to unfriend him, but he thought it was for the best. He didn’t want Charlie to feel like he was being stalked by an ex or something.
Not blocking Nick on Instagram was a good sign and if he had changed his number he could always reach out to him that way instead.
He put his phone back down on the table, sighing for what felt like the thousandth time in the last twenty minutes alone.
Was he really going to do this? Had he really run out of any other viable option?
“Argggh,” he said out loud, his voice echoing in his flat. The furnishings were bare, mostly because he barely lived there, traveling with the team so often, it never felt like he should invest too much into it. His mum always complained about it, offering to help him paint or decorate but it really wasn’t worth the effort.
The flat really wasn’t much of a home, more of a resting place.
He grabbed his phone again, nervous energy racing through him and opened up his group text with Tara and Darcy.
Nick: honestly this is a bad idea right? One of you needs to be talking me out of this, I thought that’s why I was friends with you two.
Tara: Wow okay, reduce our friendship to just your gay fairy godmothers or something?
Darcy: yeah wow, rude nicholas.
Nick: I’m stressed rn so I really need you two to just be nice to me, I’m sorry. You guys are just really smart.
Tara: Better
Tara: But to answer your question, yes it’s a terrible idea to ask Charlie to pretend to date you especially since you broke up a year ago
Darcy: especially since you are also still madly in love with him
Nick: A year and 5 months
Tara: my point stands, you’re just going to get your heart broken again
Nick But you know my dad and David, they are going to laugh at me and act like I’m straight and even if I tell them I’m bisexual they won’t believe it, they’ll think Charlie was just a phase
Tara: why not legitimately ask ANYONE else you know to pretend to date you?
Darcy: ESCORT
Tara: No.
Nick: No.
Darcy: maybe I can find a nice lesbian to date you
Nick: it’s just they know Charlie already and we have chemistry and its the only way they’ll leave me alone
Tara: what’s your game plan for afterward? Are you just going to pretend to date Charlie forever?
Nick: future nick’s problems
Darcy: who said Charlie will even say yes, he might not want to either
Nick: ugh okay fine, I’m going to do it right now and just get it over with
Nick closed the text thread to avoid seeing any more of their words of warning. They had been correct, asking anyone else on the planet to fake date him would probably have been a better idea then asking Charlie to do it. But the problem was, he really wanted to ask Charlie to do it. He was the only person Nick felt safe asking to do it.
The two of them had met Nick’s last year at Leeds, right before he started playing rugby at the semi-professional level. Charlie was just so beautiful and perfect, they hit it off right away and started dating within days of their first meeting. Nick knew he was bisexual, but hadn’t really come out yet, but with Charlie by his side, he found himself feeling strong and started to come out to his family.
His dad and brother, predictably, thought it was one big joke.
But no one else did, his mum loved Charlie, probably more than she loved Nick. Even his rugby mates accepted him, no one even blinked a single eye at the two of them and they lived happily and peacefully in their little Nick and Charlie bubble. But eventually, bubbles had to pop and they did after nearly two years of dating, when Nick got called up to Premiership.
They knew there was a chance things wouldn’t work, and despite talking about it and preparing for it… they weren’t. Their lives started to drift in different directions, Charlie got a great job at a publishing company in London and Nick was suddenly traveling all of the time. And things like time and distance started to become too much and then suddenly they were talking about breaking up.
Nick had a sinking feeling neither of them wanted to, but he also didn’t want to hurt Charlie. He wasn’t going to be selfish and ask Charlie to stay if it was too much for him. He’d do anything for Charlie, even if that meant breaking up.
In the end, they parted ways and despite promising to keep in touch, they just sort of didn’t. And Nick just sort of didn’t tell his dad and David they broke up. Which got him into his current problem.
His Dad was having a large family gathering to celebrate something or other and they’d sent the invite to Nick… and Charlie. Logically, he knew he could just not go with Charlie, either lie about him being sick or just come clean.
But then David called him and was all, ‘oh I can’t wait to finally meet this boyfriend of yours’ and went on and on about it, like Nick bringing Charlie was going to be the talk of the town, the centerpiece of the whole ordeal. And then his Dad started going off about it too and suddenly Nick was just, well, he was agreeing and said that yeah, him and Charlie will be there, with bells on.
Nick exhaled, picking up his mobile like it was some sort of bomb and then scrolled to Charlie’s name, still listed in his phone with a little heart next to it.
Nick: Hey Charlie, hope you’re doing well. It’s Nick Nelson, in case you deleted my number. I know this is sort of out of the blue but I have a favor to ask you. Can we meet for lunch today or tomorrow? I’m back in London, so I can meet anywhere, or time. I know this is weird, I promise I have good intentions.
He’d practiced what he’d wanted to type several times, trying to come across casual and not in dire need of Charlie’s assistance. He knew explaining himself in person would be so much easier but he also didn’t want Charlie to feel obligated. He stared at his phone, watching as the message went from Delivered to Read. And then the little three lines appeared… and went away… and appeared again.
Having dated Charlie, he knew how much of an overthinker he was and instantly felt terrible to make Charlie worry like this. He almost texted back, rescinding the whole thing and apologizing, but Charlie’s answer came back much quicker than he expected it to.
Char <3: Hey, Nick. It’s good to hear from you. I have free time tomorrow for lunch, want to meet at O’Malley’s around 1? I seem to remember you liked their turkey sandwiches.
Nick: Hey, yeah that’s great and I’m surprised you remembered something like that.
Char <3: You ate them all the time, Nick. You once had me bring one up to you from London when I went to watch one of your games in Leeds. You once, incredibly ill-advisedly, tried to keep one frozen as a backup.
Nick wanted the ground to swallow him up, of course Charlie remembered those things and of course he’d be so cute and clever about it. One text in and he was already feeling the same warm and fuzzy feelings Charlie ignited in him.
This was such a bad idea.
Nick: Wow, call out a guy just because he loves a good turkey and gouda sandwich. I mean, Charlie, it has the perfect ratio of tomato and lettuce and that sauce? I would request it be directly IV’d into my body.
Nick: But yes, O’Malley’s at 1 is great. Thanks.
Char <3: Can’t wait to hear you wax poetically about mayo. See you then xx
Nick definitely didn’t read into the little x’s, nope, nope, nope.
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Nick had no idea what to wear to a lunch with an ex you’re going to ask to fake date you. The internet, per usual, provided zero help, although he did discover his predicament was common in cheesy romance novels. It did not make him feel any better.
He ended up in a normal button up and joggers, he didn’t want Charlie to think it was a date, but he also wanted to look good. He really hadn’t seen Charlie in person since their breakup and he wanted to be as impressive as possible. He couldn’t assume that Charlie kept up to date with his rugby career, he might not have seen Nick at all either. He got to the pub early but wasn’t at all surprised to see Charlie even earlier, sitting at a far booth, his phone in his hand.
He walked over and Charlie looked up right before he arrived at the booth.
Charlie was beautiful, from the second he saw him, until that very moment and probably forever more. He hadn’t changed at all, his eyes still so blue it took Nick’s breath away, his face all perfect angles and skin still a beautiful perfect tan color. The only difference seemed to be his hair, the curls were still there but they were much longer than the last time, the delicate curls falling down to his shoulders.
“Hi,” Charlie said, his voice just as angelic and perfect.
“Hi,” Nick echoed back and he stood there, lost in the blue of Charlie’s eyes. “Er, sorry,” he said, getting into the booth. “You look good, I like your hair.”
The smile Charlie gave him made his dimples come out and he shrugged. “I’ve honestly been too lazy to get it cut and as a bonus, my mum hates it, so.”
“Fair,” Nick said, reaching for the water that was already at the table. Charlie had a drink in front of him too, soda, judging by the bubbles. “Waiting long?”
“Nah, but you know me, early to a fault. I just ordered a drink, I was going to get you a cider but I wasn’t sure if day drinking was on your plan today.”
“I guess it depends on what your answer to my question is.”
“Ah yes, the reason why you reached out to me,” Charlie said, just as the waitress came over to ask for their orders. Before Nick could say anything, Charlie beat him to it. “I’ll take the greek salad, extra olives and he’ll have the turkey and gouda sandwich with crisps as the side. And we’ll split an order of halloumi bites.”
Nick had always thought of Charlie as a bit shy, especially around both strangers and when it came to food. While Charlie always had confidence inside him, he was surprised to see it so easily on display. All Nick could do was nod, not needing to add a thing. Or maybe he should have added the drink, judging on how Charlie’s casual command made him feel.
Charlie caught his slack jaw stare as the waitress walked away and he giggled. “I know right, look at me go. I’ve been working on things lately, just like, being able to order food without sounding like I’m a scared kitten or something.”
“I never thought that about you,” Nick said truthfully. “But I’ll say, that was a bit unexpected, I’m glad you’re working on stuff.”
“Yeah,” Charlie said a little wistfully. “I spent a lot of my life out of control, yeah? Either forced or me just giving up, so I’ve been really focused on just doing things, even if it scares me.”
Nick smiled, he was sure he looked as dumbstruck as he felt, Charlie always impressed him so much. “That’s great, Char.”
Charlie blushed at the nickname, taking a sip of his drink, eyes downcast. “It’s weird that it’s been over a year since I’ve heard anyone call me that. I went nearly 20 years of my life without it, but then the second it was gone… I sort of missed it.”
Nick could still remember the first time he’d let the nickname slip. They’d been studying together, side by side on the floor, their backs up against Charlie’s bed. It was still early in their relationship, things hadn’t completely fallen into place yet but Nick was already so far gone. He hadn’t meant to say it, he didn’t even know why he’d said Char instead of Charlie when he asked for the pen. Charlie had giggled, poking fun of him and the whole thing ended in a tickling match that dissolved into a heavy make out session.
“Other people can call you that,” Nick pointed out, clearing his throat, trying to chase out the memory of Charlie’s mouth on his.
“No,” Charlie said, with a tilt of his head. “It’s yours.”
“Er, oh, well,” Nick said, shaking his head. “Um, yeah, but I’m happy for you.”
Charlie flushed, licking his lips. “Before we get down to business, how’s rugby for you? I’m not going to lie, I’ve only watched a few of your games and that’s mostly been because Oliver is still very much obsessed with you.”
“Oh, just Oliver?” Nick teased and Charlie gave him the middle finger. “And yeah, it’s been good. As much as this is what I’ve always wanted to do, it is a bit hard sometimes. I hurt my shoulder last month and I think this upcoming season might be my last.”
The words surprised Nick coming out of his own mouth, he hadn’t even talked to anyone but his Mum and coach about it yet. His whole life he wanted to be a professional rugby player and while the last two years had been great… it was also not what he was expecting. And while his injury wasn’t career ending, it had been a pretty big wake up call as to what could happen in the future.
“Oh,” Charlie said, he reached out and placed his hand on Nick’s wrist. “I’m sorry, I know how much rugby means to you.”
“It’s funny you say that,” Nick said, the press of Charlie’s finger on his wrist only lasted a minute as Charlie had pulled his hand back already. “But I’m really starting to think that’s not true. But uh yeah, how are you? How’s work?”
“Good,” Charlie said with a shrug. “Still at the same publisher, working as an assistant editor. I live with Isaac in a flat now, I really wasn’t making enough to justify living on my own. It’s been… good, honestly, yeah. Just taking time to work on myself and all that.”
“You look happy,” Nick said, watching as Charlie’s eyes lit up. The waitress came over with the cheese bites and Nick’s soda, placing the plate between them. Charlie reached in right away, taking one of the cheese bites and popping it into his mouth.
“So, what’s the question?” he asked after he swallowed, reaching for a second one but taking time to dip it in the honey first before eating it. “These are to die for, Nick, make sure you have some.”
Nick hesitated, deciding to ask first. Charlie seemed in a good place, he was really worried about disrupting all of it with his stupid neediness. But Charlie was looking fondly at him, a slight smile on his face after he’d devoured the second bite.
“So, my dad is having this big family get together in Paris, like some Fournier family reunion or something,” he started and Charlie frowned. He knew all about Nick’s not so great relationship with his father and was no doubt recalling all of the bad things Nick had to say about him. “And he’s invited me and I mean, I don’t want to go but I sort of have to, especially since David is going and well, I mean, as much as I hate my dad and don’t care I also can’t really disappoint him and-”
“Nick,” Charlie said gently, reaching his hand back out and grabbing Nick’s wrist again. “Breathe, alright? You’re getting all worked up about it.”
“Sorry,” Nick said, using the hand Charlie wasn’t holding to take a sip of his soda. “So um, not only did he invite me but he invited you.”
“Me?” Charlie quested, his eyebrows rising high. “Why?”
“I sort of never told him we broke up.”
The confession hung in the air, Nick’s heart was racing so fast he was sure Charlie could feel it thundering under his fingertips. Charlie didn’t pull away, he just sort of frowned a little more, confused looking.
“Not on purpose,” Nick continued. “I just sort of don’t talk to him and I forgot I hadn’t said anything and anyways, uh, I was going to tell him we broke up, but then David called and was all mocking me about dating you and how they couldn’t wait to finally meet you and acting like, well you know, like you’re some phase in my life and I hated it. So I told him you’d be there and listen, I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t let them think this meant nothing and that I was just experimenting and I know I could have invented a new boyfriend but I just didn’t-”
“When is it?” Charlie broke in his stupor, finally letting go of Nick’s wrist. Nick took another sip of his soda, to calm his nerves.
“Next month, it’s over a weekend but we’d need to get there on Friday and I don’t think we’d leave until Monday, so 4 days in total, I guess. The 21st to the 24th, but really, Charlie, we only need to show up one day and you can fuck off and-”
“I’ll go, the whole time. I have enough vacation time saved up and I haven’t been to Paris in ages.”
Nick looked at him, dumb founded. He didn't think it would be this easy, maybe Charlie was misunderstanding him. “It’s not like a friend thing, Char. You’ll have to pretend you’re my boyfriend. There’ll be dinners and wine tastings and I’m sure they’ll ask you a million invasive questions and fuck, it’ll be miserable for you. And we might have to kiss, hold hands, be all coupley, they’ll treat us like some circus freak show. Forget I said anything about this, I shouldn’t even ask you to deal with my homophobic family.”
Nick put his head into his hands, feeling like shit. He was so worked up on the idea of seeing Charlie again, he didn’t think about what he was bringing Charlie into.
“Nick,” Charlie said, in his gentle soothing voice. “Nick, please look at me.”
A little embarrassed, Nick pulled his head up, looking at Charlie. “I don’t want you to go at it alone, okay? I know what that’s like, remember, you met my grandparents. No one deserves to be treated like that and if showing up and being as gay as possible might just shut them up or piss them off? Then I’m there for it. You did so much for me when we dated, I want to repay you for it. You’re my friend.”
“We’re still friends?” Nick asked, his voice cracking. “We haven’t talked in a year.”
“I know,” Charlie said with a shake of his head. “But you were my best friend, Nick. I loved you, I don’t want you out of my life forever. We just needed some space and now we’ve got the chance to be best friends again.”
He loved Nick, as in past tense. Charlie just made it very clear that he wasn’t considering this to be them getting back together romantically.
God, it was going to be painful.
“Yeah,” Nick said, swallowing down the disappointment, hoping it didn’t show on his face. “I’d like to be friends again, thank you, Char.”
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It was jarring going from no contact to an endless stream of texts with Charlie again, they seemed to fall right back into their friendship without major awkwardness.
Char <3: Isaac thinks this is hilarious btw
Char <3: He says he’s read this story several times before
Nick: Oh and how does it end?
Char <3: a boyfriend shows up and ruins it or the family figures it out and there’s some kind of massive fight and then he also laughed hysterically for about 5 minutes so i’m a bit concerned about that
Nick: you don’t have a new boyfriend right?
Nick: not that I care or it’s my business but I don’t want anyone showing up angry
Char <3: nope, I’m taking a eat pray love year or whatever, focusing on being just Charlie
Char <3: you?
Char <3: or I mean that should be obvious or you’d just asked them
Nick: yeah not dating anyone right now, too busy with rugby
The texts never seemed to stop, they didn’t talk about their relationship per se, Charlie updated him a bit more, mostly so they could be on the same page if people asked them any questions. Which he was sure they would, he rarely saw his Dad’s side of the family, maybe a few times every year and never in such a large group either. The little reunion was taking place at a hotel with its own vineyard, all paid for with his dad’s money. In fact, it seemed like they wouldn’t be paying for anything.
“You’re in danger,” Darcy said, as they sat around in his bed, watching as Nick tried to pack two days before leaving. Nick had handed his phone over, showing Darcy the endless stream of texts between them. “You two can only flirt, there is no other option.”
“You need to take care of yourself,” Tara added beside Darcy. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“I won’t,” Nick said, rummaging in his drawer. He hated waiting until the last minute to pack, but he had to spend all his recent free time completely freaking out. “I should have done laundry, I have nothing.”
His phone buzzed, but Darcy was still holding it. “Ah, Charlie, or ‘Char heart’, wants to know if he needs to bring a bathing suit. Should I ask him to send pics?”
“No,” Tara and Nick answered in unison, Darcy sighed.
“You guys are no fun,” they pouted. “I told him sure, whatever, so he knows you’re totally cool about potentially seeing him in tiny little shorts and not turning bright pink like you are now.”
Nick turned around to save face, but he knew it was too late. He had been thinking of Charlie in his tiny little swim trunks, the ones he wore on the beach date Nick had taken him on once. They were a light blue color, they fit Charlie like a glove and Nick got lost in the memory of scooping Charlie up and carrying him into the ocean as his boyfriend shouted in protest.
“Ohh do you need a minute?” Darcy asked, their voice breaking through the memory. “Because if you need a wank-”
“Darcy,” Nick said, turning to scowl at them. “I do not need a wank, thank you very much. I can handle my ex-boyfriend in a swimsuit, alright? I’m just…trying to find clean underwear."
“Did you go over the rules?” Tara asked, just as Nick found a decent pair of boxers, ones he hadn’t worn in awhile but they probably still fit him. God, he really should have spent more time doing laundry and less time panicking and texting Charlie.
“Yes, we both agreed that hand holding, hugging and kissing are alright. He said he was comfortable with any type of affection.”
“What about you?” Tara asked, the question just made Nick turn back around to avoid having to face his best friends. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure he could kiss Charlie without kissing Charlie. It was one of his major concerns, but there was no way to avoid it. They talked about the level of kissing and decided on teenage first crush level, nothing with tongue. The rest of it was fine, Nick was an affectionate person to begin with and it was always easier with Charlie.
“I’m fine with it, honestly. We both understand this is just for four days and then it’s back to friends. We even talked about how we’ll break up in a few months.”
“I still think this isn’t the best idea for you, Nick,” Tara said, always the voice of reason. “You were really hurt when you broke up with Charlie, I just don’t want you to… feel worse. All of this and mixed in with your dad and brother? It’s just… it’s a lot.”
Nick put down his clothing, walking over to the bed and sitting in front of Tara and Darcy. “Listen, I know you guys are trying to look out for me, really but I trust Charlie. He’s not going to do anything to upset me, our breakup was amicable, we both were headed in different directions. We’re both on the same page about the breakup and now about how we’re doing this part.”
He wasn’t sure how much he believed everything even he was saying, but he was giving it his best go. He had to, really, if he wasn’t fully committed then there was a chance his dad and David would see right through it. So he had to play the part of boyfriend, even if it wasn’t going to require much acting on his end. His feelings for Charlie had never shifted, even in the long absence, if anything they just grew even more.
“I don’t believe you,” Darcy added. “But you do you.”
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Charlie was waiting for him at the train station, leaning his slender frame up against a pillar, two rather large holdall bags at his feet and a laptop bag slung over his shoulder. He looked stunning, per usual, skinny jeans and a jumper, Nick always marveled at how effortlessly cool he managed to look. He was looking at his phone, holding a cup of coffee in his other hand, only looking up when Nick was a few feet in front of him.
“This is a lot of bags for four days,” Nick commented, dropping his own small holdall beside Charlie.
“Not all of us just use ‘whatever’s available’ for our hair and body routine, Nicholas.” He held out a cup of coffee. “Here’s your sugar and cream with a splash of coffee.”
Nick took the cup smirking, Nick’s coffee order wasn’t too hard to remember, so he wasn't surprised Charlie did. He wasn’t even that much of a coffee drinker, but it was nearing 7am, so it did feel right. “You didn’t have to.”
“I was already getting mine,” Charlie said, gesturing to a cup that was at his feet. The fact that he put his own down just to hold Nick sort of thrilled him, but he tried not to read too much into it. Charlie bent down and picked his up. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“I’m surprised you waited this long,” Nick commented. “I seem to remember you needing coffee within minutes of waking up.”
“Oh no, I had a cup at the flat too, this is my second one,” Charlie smirked. “How are you feeling?”
Nick shrugged. “Alright, a bit nervous but that’s usually how I feel when I have to spend any time with dad and David.”
“Hmm,” Charlie hummed. “You could have said no.”
“I know,” Nick offered. “But you know how I am.”
“Exactly why you should have said no, honestly,” Charlie said, taking a sip of coffee. All Nick could do was shrug again, not sure he even had an excuse for why he couldn’t say no.
Thankfully Charlie changed the subject, bringing up a film he’d just watched with Tao and they chatted aimlessly until the train arrived. Nick immediately went to pick up one of Charlie’s holdalls bags, which just made him race to grab the other. “Nick, I don’t need you to do that, you’ve got your own.”
“It’s no problem,” Nick said, hosting the holdall up and over his free shoulder. Charlie rolled his eyes dramatically, but lifted his other one up almost possessively.
They found two seats in one of the back carriages, somewhat secluded. He let Charlie settle into the window seat, knowing he liked to look out and enjoy the view. They both took a few moments to settle into their seats and Nick suddenly worried about what they were supposed to do for a few hours alone. He hadn’t thought exactly about it, was Charlie expecting them to talk? Or would he prefer if Nick just left him alone? He was so used to boyfriend Charlie, he really didn’t know what exactly friend Charlie was expecting for the trip.
Would he want time to himself before he had to start pretending to like Nick again?
Charlie answered that question for him, by taking out his mobile and a set of earbuds.
“Want to watch some videos?” he asked, holding the earbud out to Nick. They used to do this all the time on train rides, share a set of earbuds and watch whatever funny videos they could find. For a long time they were obsessed with compilation videos of people failing miserably at driving forklifts. Nick couldn’t remember how or why, but the memory of Charlie’s laughter, so deep and full, made his insides go funny again.
“Sure, what do you have?”
He took the offered earbud, they were wireless, so they weren't forced to lean in close but Nick sort of wished he had to. Charlie still moved closer though, bringing his phone between the two of them. “Listen,” he said, queuing up YouTube. “I know it’s weird but have you ever seen those videos of zoo keepers and pandas?”
Nick had, several times in fact, they were utterly delightful. “Yeah, pandas are menaces to society.”
“Well, I might have queued up about an hour's worth of videos, if that’s okay? And after that I have another hour of really hilarious bird stuff.”
Charlie wasn’t looking at him, giving Nick unfettered access to stare at his profile, the sharp angles of his jawline, the elegant slant of his nose and the way his hair was tucked behind one ear, the curls still trying to break free. He could stare at Charlie like this every single day and he’d still marvel at his beauty, still get that funny feeling in his stomach, his nervous still alight with the memory of how he used to be able to kiss along the jaw, suck bruises into the bit of Charlie’s neck and shoulder his shirt currently covered.
“Nick?” Charlie asked, turning his head to look at him with mild amusement. “You alright there?”
Nick cleared his throat, leaning back against the headrest, daring to look Charlie in the eyes for a moment, before looking at the screen in front of him. “Yeah, sorry, it’s early and you know sometimes my brain just isn’t online just yet.”
“Sure,” Charlie said, casually, letting go whatever he might have been thinking. He moved in closer, his shoulder brushing up against Nick’s, settling in a little closer than he really needed to. Nick inhaled, he could smell the fruity scent of the hair product Charlie used but it was mingled with a new smell, perhaps a new cologne or body wash Nick didn’t know about. He tried not to think about that, that there might be things about Charlie he just didn’t know about anymore, the thought making him feel utter sadness.
The video started, a poor scrubs-wearing zookeeper was trying to clean the cage, but a solid ball of a panda was attaching himself over and over again to his leg, each time Charlie would let out a little giggle, like music to Nick’s ears.
Oh no, Nick realised probably way too late, he was in so much danger.