Work Text:
NOVEMBER 2019
Dean has lost count of how many days Castiel has been in the Empty. Too many days have blended together into what feels like an eternity. Dean faces the knowledge of an eternity without him. Even in Heaven. Especially in Heaven. Everyone around Dean knows that he is miserable, but nobody comments. In the beginning, they tried to get Dean to talk, but it was like the words became stuck in his throat. Like after his mother died. Dean revels in the silence that surrounds him. He takes another swig of the cheap whiskey he snuck into the Bunker past Sam. His little brother has tried to clear the Bunker of alcohol, but Dean finds inventive ways to sneak out and buy more.
He figures he deserves some relief since he is facing an eternity without Castiel. Without the love of his life.
He knows he worries everyone around him. The looks he gets are not subtle. He has stopped caring about being subtle in his grief. Sam knows something is different this time. Hell, everyone knows that it is different. Dean will be damned again if he acknowledges it. Maybe Castiel would reappear to save him from Hell if he went there again. Dean knows that that is just a dream, just like the dreams of him and Castiel on a pier overlooking the vast ocean. Besides, Rowena has told him that he is not allowed to stay in Hell after he dies. She will make sure that he is heaven-bound.
Dean sneaks off in the middle of the night on a hunt. He is not sure if he plans to return from it or not. Dean leaves a note for Sam to find in the morning. The hunt is one that would typically be easy for a Winchester to handle. It is not a usual time, at least not for Dean. Dean strides into the cliche barn where another witch has taken up residence. Before he has the chance to raise his gun and take a shot with the witch-killing bullets, she flings him to the side of the building.
Dean struggles against the invisible bonds. Only making a show of trying to get free. In the wee hours of the night, he has decided this is his last hunt. The witch, a pretty woman with curly brown hair and kind brown eyes, walks over to Dean.
“Dean Winchester,” she murmurs, “I’m glad you saw my message. I’m glad you came alone; this makes everything easier.”
“What?” Dean’s brows furrow in confusion. “You called me here? Lady, you ever heard of a phone?”
She chuckles, though there is little amusement in her tone. “Oh, Dean, I understand the pain of losing the one you love.” The witch caresses his cheek. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else. I’m an old friend of Rowena’s, and she has told me much about your struggles. She told me how a cloud of grief hangs over your head. She was right to describe it that way.”
Dean’s jaw clenches tighter at her words. The witch sighs, “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not,” she repeats. “You lost your soulmate as I did centuries ago. It’s too late for me to regain my love. That is out of my power. But,” she pauses for a moment and considers Dean. He has gone limp in the bonds around him. He is resigned to whatever fate becomes of him. He is the definition of a conquered man. She smiles sadly. “It’s not too late for you and your soulmate, your Castiel. Do you wish for help? I can only offer one chance.”
“What do I have to do?” Dean asks, “I’ll do anything.”
She releases the bonds binding Dean, and he grunts as his knees hit the ground. The witch helps Dean to his feet. Dean’s gun clatters to the ground, and he ignores it to stare at the woman. Desperation creeps into Dean’s entire being, and tears gather at the corner of his eyes. She swipes at one that falls down his cheek and places it in a phial.
She holds the phial up to the light, “You did your part. The tears of the abandoned soulmate ,” she recites. “This is the last ingredient for my spell.” She beckons Dean over to her worktable.
Dean looks at the myriad of ingredients and then up at the woman. “What the hell is this going to do? I don’t think it’s possible to rip Cas outta the Empty.”
The witch nods, “You’re right. To give you a future with Castiel, you will need to go back.”
“Go back?” Dean asks, “How far? How is that going to help?”
“Patience,” she gently scolds the man. Before she can explain further, the barn’s doors burst open to reveal a blazing mad Sam Winchester with the Queen of Hell steps behind him.
“Hello, Ilerioluwa,” Rowena greets the other witch. “Now, what are you doing with our dear Dean?”
Dean glares at his brother, “Sammy, turn around and leave it be.”
“Like hell,” Sam retorts, “I’m not leaving you here to do something stupid. You’re on a suicide mission!”
“Maybe I fucking am!” Dean bellows, “Maybe I’m fucking miserable without Cas.” Dean scrubs at the tears that fall down his cheeks. Sam’s expression softens. He walks closer to his older brother and pulls him into a hug. Dean willingly allows the embrace despite keeping his arms stiff down by his sides. He is way past pretending to be alright.
They break off after a minute to find both witches looking at them in sympathy. Dean sighs, “She was about to tell me what the spell is.” It is a silent request for Sam and Rowena to listen to the woman. Sam shrugs and gives Rowena a meaningful look.
“Alright then, Ilerioluwa. Get on with it.” Rowena tells the other witch.
Ilerioluwa passes her spellbook over to Rowena before she explains. “This spell is meant to reconnect soulmates by sending them back to a time before it all went to hell.” She fiddles with a stem of lavender. “It’s been too long for me, but not for Dean and Castiel.”
“How long?” Sam asks.
“It will send Dean back to about 2008.” She looks apologetic, “This type of magic is tricky and incapable of sending a person back to a specific moment in time.”
Sam looks at his brother, who has resumed looking at the witch with determined desperation. “Your mind is already made up, isn’t it, Dean?” Dean spares a glance at his brother, but he does not respond.
“It will give you a do-over,” Ilerioluwa continues to explain, “There’s no returning to this exact future. You will relive every year. The mercy of this spell is that you retain your memories.”
“So to gain Cas, I have to lose my brother?” Dean’s misery is clearly written across his face. He is torn because his soul screams to take her up on the offer and return to a time when Castiel was alive, even if he was still in default factory mode. The older brother inside of him demands that he stay with Sam. However, it was still a chance to regain his soulmate. When Ilerioluwa said the term, Dean knew deep within himself that she was right. That was what they were. What they will continue to be.
“Ilerioluwa,” Rowena says before the other woman can answer, “I have an idea. It’s hairbrained, but the Winchesters are stubborn enough to make it work.”
“Don’t beat around the bush, dammit!” Dean’s temper flares.
Rowena walks over to the older man and places a hand on his cheek, “Patience, dearie.” Dean’s temper simmers down just as quickly as it flared. Rowena pulls away and slides the book back to Ilerioluwa. “We combine the soulmate spell with a bonding spell. If Samuel wishes, he too will return to the past with his brother.”
Dean crumples, “I can’t ask that of Sammy.”
“Hey, no,” Sam protests, “We’re doing this. We’re being given a do-over, and I say we should take it.” Sam’s resolve strengthens at the hope blooming across his older brother’s face. Sam would do almost anything to bring peace to his brother.
“But–” Dean tries to protest.
“Nope,” Sam firmly tells him, “We’re doing this. I hate seeing you miserable, man. Besides, I miss Cas too.” Sam smirks, “Obviously not in the same way you do.”
Dean flushes pink at the teasing tone his brother uses. “Shut up,” Dean mutters at Sam. Sam’s smirk grows wider. “How does this affect Cas?”
Rowena gestures for Ilerioluwa to explain. “It will also send his consciousness back to the past.” Both men look confused, so she continues. “I realize that Castiel is currently in the Empty, but this is strong magic.”
“And you have the Queen of Hell on your side,” Rowena smiles, “Two strong witches and three headstrong Winchesters make a hell of an impact. The Empty craves quiet, the spell’s magic will distract the Empty long enough to rip Castiel away and whisk him into the past.”
“This seems like the plot to a crappy novel,” Dean gripes. He yelps when Sam jabs an elbow into his gut.
Rowena’s smile becomes Cheshire in nature. “That’s magic.”
Ilerioluwa shakes her head in disagreement, “That’s love.”
Sam gives Dean a meaningful look, “Let yourself be selfish for once. Sure, we have to go through some of the Apocalypse crap again, but we will have all of our memories. We can avoid some shit and hopefully things will turn out better. It’ll already be better if you and Cas are together.” Sam lets his voice turn teasing again. The hallmark of a younger brother who has found the perfect thing to tease his sibling about, “I won’t have to endure over ten years of pining a second time. It was pretty pathetic the first time around.”
“Man, fuck you,” Dean gripes, “Just get this show on the road so Sammy will stop being a little bitch.”
“Jerk,” Sam rolls his eyes in reply, but does not lose the smile.
With no further words, both witches huddle around the worktable. For Dean, it feels like an hour has passed before both spells are ready to be activated. Ilerioluwa holds the phial with Dean’s tears. “Clasp hands,” she instructs the brothers, and they do so without protest. “Rowena and I will read the incantations simultaneously as I pour the last ingredient into the bowl. Upon the completion of the ingredients and words, you will be some time in 2008.”
“Good luck, boys,” Rowena gives them an uncharacteristically soft smile before both women begin the incantation. The last thing they see is a burst of golden light as the tears drop into the wooden spell bowl. Somewhere in the Empty, a celestial being begins to stir.
KENTUCKY, NOVEMBER 2008
Dean is flipping through a book as he leans against the Impala. He smiles as Anna approaches, “Hey. You holding up okay?”
She leans against the car and shrugs as she replies, “Trying.” Dean makes a noise of affirmation. Anna sighs, “A little scared, I guess,” she pauses,” So, um... Dean... I just wanted to thank you.”
“For what?”
“Everything. You guys…you didn't have to help me.” Anna replies. She flicks a piece of hair over her shoulder. Her gaze remains firmly on the stars.
Dean scoffs, “Hey, let's can the 'thanks for trying' speech, you know?” He places the book on the hood of his car, “Participation trophies suck ass.”
Anna finally looks at Dean, “I don't know. Maybe I don't deserve to be saved.”
“Don't talk like that,” Dean scolds her as he maintains eye contact.
“I disobeyed,” Anna sounds bitter, reflecting the millions of years she has lived, “ Lucifer disobeyed. It's our murder one, and I knew it. Maybe I've got to pay.”
“Yeah, well, we've all done things we got to pay for,” Dean informs her with another shrug.
Anna turns to face Dean more fully. She sounds deadly serious as she talks, “I've got to tell you something. You're not gonna like it.”
“I already don’t like a lot of this shit,” Dean replies with mild humor. Anna continues to stare at him with a hard expression on her face. After a moment, Dean gives in and asks, “Okay. What?”
“About a week ago, I heard the angels talking,” Anna pauses to consider how she wants to word her statement, “About you. About what you did in Hell. Dean, I know. It wasn't your fault. You should forgive yourself.”
“Anna, I don't want to, uh…” Dean stutters, “I don't want to... I can't talk about that.”
“I know,” Anna’s expression softens. “But when you can, you have people who want to help. You are not alone. That's all I'm trying to say.” Anna leans over and kisses Dean, pulling him closer.
As they pull apart, Dean gives her a bewildered look, “What was that for?”
Anna’s smile becomes seductive, “You know, it’s our last night on earth and all that.”
“You're stealing my best line,” Dean groans as arousal pools in his gut. He stands up and pulls Anna with him to the backseat of the Impala. Clothes are slowly shed as they trade lazy kisses that slowly become more frantic. Abruptly, Dean goes still, and his eyes take on a glassy sheen. Anna looks on in concern at the hunter and hauls herself to the footwell seconds before Dean collapses onto the seat. Seconds go by before Dean jerks back into awareness. Panting, he sits up and stares around in confusion.
“Dean?” Anna hesitantly calls out.
His head whips around, and he stares at her in horror. “Anna?” Dean becomes more aware of his surroundings and his state of undress. To Anna’s surprise, Dean blushes. He begins scrambling to put on his clothes. The angle is awkward as he pulls his jeans back over his hips and his t-shirt over his head. Once completed, he stumbles out of the Impala’s backseat.
Anna grabs her clothes and pulls them on after exiting the vehicle, since the footwell was too cramped for much movement. To be honest, she is not sure how she fit down there in the first place. “Dean, what’s wrong?” Dean’s gaze stays firmly aimed at the ground. He fiddles with the amulet Sam gave him years ago. Anna sighs and she repeats, “Dean, what’s wrong?”
He looks up and gives her a closed-lip smile, “Time travel. I’m uh, not the Dean that was about to have sex with you.”
Anna’s eyebrows make a bid to escape into her hair. “You recognized me, so I’m guessing you’re from the future. How far?”
“Eleven years,” Dean stares straight at Anna when he replies. “Sammy and Cas both should be here, too.”
“Time travel is incredibly dangerous!” Anna exclaims, “That’s a tenet that we are taught as fledglings. What possessed you to be so reckless?”
“Love,” Dean replies. He does not bother to elaborate.
Anna’s jaw clenches as she works through her thoughts. “You are incredibly selfish if you place your love over the risks caused by time travel. To what means are you back? Did you think about how this will impact the future when you leave again?”
Dean shrugs, “Well, figure the risks are lower since the three of us are here for good. The only way to get eleven years in the future is to live every day.” Dean’s words then take on a steely edge, “And how dare you? I have given everything to save the world. Multiple times.” Dean swipes at a stray tear. “I gave my life away. I pushed aside my needs. I lost the love of my life. Before I came back here, he was rotting in the Empty.” Dean chokes on a sob. “So yeah, when a witch gave me the opportunity to get him back, I fucking took it.”
Tears continue to fall down his face, and he does not bother to chase them away. Anna stares at him, a pit of understanding beginning to form. Before she can reply, Sam bursts out of the barn and runs toward the pair. “Dean!?”
The smile Dean gives his little brother is weak and wobbly, but genuine. “Heya, Sammy. Looks like we both made it. Now we need Cas.”
“No way to know if he made it unless you pray for him,” Sam teasingly replies. “You know he hardly listens when I call. Profound bond and all that shit.” The glare Dean sends his little brother is half-assed, and they both know it.
ILLINOIS, NOVEMBER 2008
Castiel gasps awake as he is hurtled from the Empty and through time. Sudden awareness and awakened senses tingle unpleasantly through his body. The feeling lasts only a moment before he is jerked to an abrupt stop and flung into the body of his vessel. His grace mixes with that of his 2008 self and becomes one combined whole. His memories merge seamlessly. Castiel feels Jimmy Novak for all of two seconds before the vessel breaks into two complete halves. Two identical men stand in front of each other. One is a devout mortal man who sacrificed his life for the angels, and the other is a celestial being the size of the Chrysler Building shoved into a compact size.
“What the hell?” Jimmy asks in confusion. “Castiel? How are we separate?”
Castiel takes an unnecessary, but needed breath. “Higher powers are at work,” Castiel tells him, although he has no clue how he broke free of the Empty. “You need not worry yourself about the specifics. Your body is your own, and your work is done.” Castiel moves closer as Jimmy continues to stare at Castiel, who sighs. “You are no longer a vessel. Some higher power copied your body to give me my own vessel. It’s an incredibly rare phenomenon.”
Jimmy nods and then demands, “Take me home.”
“Of course,” Castiel readily agrees, although his entire being screams at him to abandon the man and find Dean. Castiel knows he owes Jimmy the decency of reuniting him with his family. Jimmy sacrificed too much for Castiel to leave him in the middle of nowhere. Castiel grabs the other man’s arm and whisks them away to Pontiac, Illinois. The reunion is touching, Castiel observes. Jimmy deserves that much for what he sacrificed the first time around. Remaining unseen, Castiel places wards against demons, angels, and most monsters on the house and its property. With a gentle hand, further protections fall in place over the Novak family. Claire deserves to live with both of her parents in her life. Maybe this time their story will be better.
Having completed his work, Castiel does not linger and shortly after appears in a community park outside of Cleveland, Ohio. He takes a moment to reflect on what he remembers. His declaration of love for Dean. The Empty. Nothingness. Hurtling through space and time before crash-landing in 2008. He has no clue how he was saved from the Empty or to what purpose he is in 2008. He has no clue if he is the only one with memories of the first time he lived through this year. Before he can begin to strategize, his thoughts are interrupted.
“Castiel,” Castiel hears his name and feels the longing rolling off in waves from Dean. “Cas, I need you.” Castiel is incapable of ignoring Dean. To the ire of his superiors, Castiel has been unable to ignore Dean since he pulled his soul from Hell. “Cas, get your feathery ass here, now!” He rolls his eyes at Dean’s unique brand of impatient prayer. Focusing on the man’s location, Castiel takes flight. The flight is quick and easy. Castiel almost wishes the flight were longer so he could relish the feeling of unbroken wings catching the air. He knows there will be time for that later.
Upon spotting Dean, Castiel’s entire being glows a brighter blue. His grace responds to Dean’s soul. Dean’s soul always reaches out to him, as it has done since it was saved from Hell. This response is something that he has been teased about since the first time he lived through 2008. At first, his grace’s reaction to the Righteous Man angered and confused him. Over the years, Castiel has come to accept it for what it was: a display of eternal love and devotion. It is not surprising that the other angels scorned him for his attachment to humanity. To Dean Winchester. Now, Castiel wears that scorn like a badge of honor.
On the ground, two hunters and a graceless angel wait for Castiel to appear. Dean stares at the stars, and his eyes widen when he spots a glowing blue light that feels familiar. “Can either of you see that light approaching us?”
The other two turn toward the sky. Sam shakes his head, “No clue what you’re talking about, dude.” Dean gestures, and Sam shrugs. “I still don’t see anything.”
Anna turns to stare at Dean, incredulous, “You can see Castiel’s true form?”
“That’s what that is?” Dean asks distractedly. He does not hear Anna’s answer. Dean continues to stare at the glowing blue light, knowing in his soul that it will not hurt him. It will not burn out his eyes, nor will it evaporate him into millions of pieces. Instead, it is a balm to his scarred soul. It fills in the cracks and tapes together the pieces. Dean knows he could stare at the sight for eons and never grow tired of it.
The moment feels like a thousand years, but it is actually over in less than ten seconds. Standing before Dean is Castiel. His wings are returned to their former glory, and his grace shines bright against the night sky. Only an angel or someone whose soul is bound by a celestial being’s grace can see the true form in front of them. Dean drinks in the sight like a man dying of thirst in the desert. Castiel’s wings puff out at the attention, attempting to show off for their mate. Castiel instantly recognizes that the man standing before him is the one he left behind in 2019. His soul tells a thousand stories, and Castiel knows each and every one.
“Dean,” Castiel’s voice is heaven on Earth to Dean. “Oh, my beloved.” Castiel is steady as a rock when Dean slams into him. Castiel wraps his arms around the other man and pulls him impossibly closer. He buries his face in Dean’s hair and relishes the smell of gunpowder, pie, and something that can only be described as Dean.
“Rowena and her friend performed a soulmate reuniting spell,” Sam tells Castiel, “We can explain more later. It’s good to see you, man.” Sam grins at the pair. Castiel returns the smile before returning his full attention to Dean. Sam grabs Anna’s arm and leads her into the barn.
Despite standing twined together for several minutes, both men are reluctant to part. Keeping hold of Castiel’s hand, Dean leads him over to the Impala. Dean opens the trunk and pulls out a blanket. He then leads them over to a grassy patch, throws down the blanket, and pulls Castiel down to lie next to one another. Dean immediately uses Castiel as a pillow, pressing his body flush against the other man. The entire time, both men remained silent, allowing the chirping of bugs and the swishing of the wind against tree branches to fill the air.
Once they are settled, Dean begins tracing patterns against Castiel’s chest. “Stop dying on me,” Dean finally breaks the silence.
Castiel chuckles, and the sound rumbles pleasantly under Dean’s body. “I will endeavor to do better this time around. You, too, have to promise to stop dying.”
“I’ll do my best,” Dean replies. “Can’t account for what the junkless angels will do. Present company excluded.”
Castiel presses a kiss against Dean’s forehead, “You are incredible, Dean Winchester. Brave and loyal. I love you more than words can describe. Everything I told you that night in the Bunker remains true.”
“You went and died on me before I could respond,” Dean chides, although there is little heat to back up his words. “I love you too, your moron.” The night remains calm, and the world does not implode after his confession. Dean figures that that is a win. Dean curls his fingers into Castiel’s shirt. “Is Jimmy still in your noggin?”
“Something happened,” Castiel shakes his head, “When I regained awareness, Jimmy was in his original body. This is a copy of his body that I have all to myself.”
“Like after Raphael exploded you?” Dean asks.
Castiel nods, “Exactly.”
Dean’s smile becomes salacious. “Then nothing's stopping me from doing this.” Dean wiggles until he finds a better position to kiss Castiel, who responds enthusiastically. Kissing turns into more, and the plot remains the same despite different characters taking on the roles: Dean has sex with an angel under the Kentucky stars in November 2008. Dean thinks that he likes this version of the story better, and he is going to like the rewrite of the next eleven years even better.