Chapter Text
Izuku shuffled in his spot on the ground, a photo pressed close to him. It was starting to get cold outside, and the boy was beginning to worry.
He had to find a way to stay warm now, and he should also probably find a more stable way of getting food. He had a feeling the street vendors were starting to catch on to his act of forgetting money.
He knew by now no one will help him, and he could hardly get a job at 8. Maybe he would die out here. In the cold. Just an obnoxiously yellow backpack to his name.
He clutched the photo closer to him, he’d been taking it out more often, trying to memorize the lines in his dead mother's face.
She had long green hair, tied up in a bun. Her eyes matched Izuku in vibrancy, though they were a bit darker than his. She wore a pink shirt over a button-down one, and a simple bracelet was laid on her wrist, the same hand that held her ring.
They both look so happy in the photo, taken just weeks ago. He remembers how she set the camera up in the living room and made him pose with her.
”It’s your Birthday!” She said, “You’ll want to have this memory forever!”
A gust of wind blew through his alley and he shivered in the cold, pulling his thin jacket closer around him. Maybe he could find a fast food place to stay in for a few hours. If he hid in the bathroom he could get warm for a bit at least.
His eyes snap open when he feels a presence in front of him.
”Hello,” Izuku immediately scrambles back at the sudden voice.
”Woah there, I just want to help you,” Izuku peered suspiciously at the man.
The first thing he noticed was the bird mask. Maybe it had something to do with the man’s quirk. But he also had gloves that looked custom-made. He had brown hair and sharp eyes, but Izuku didn’t find anything bad about him. He seemed like an ordinary man.
Cautiously, he let his guard down.
(He had thought at the time that, perhaps, help would still come)
”You’ve been left alone,” the man noted and Izuku just furrowed his brows. Obviously he had been left alone.
”Society is cruel like that, and more so to people like you,” he gestured to Izukus red sneakers and he shifted his feet uncomfortably.
Most people didn’t know about the red sneakers. They were supposed to be secret.
”I am sorry that the ones we call heroes refuse to help people like us,” A glance at the man’s shoes told Izuku he wasn’t Quirkless as well, but perhaps he was referring to a ‘villainous’ quirk.
He wasn’t mad at the heroes though. They didn’t even know about him. He had gone to the police and they had sent him away, but Izuku was sure any of his heroes would help him. He just… didn’t want to bother anyone. He was hardly worth so much trouble, he knew that. He didn’t want to waste their time.
”I can help you. My name is Chisaki, what’s yours?” He holds out his hand and Izuku looks at it, considering.
He reaches out, “I’m Izuku Midoriya.”
Trust is a very dangerous thing.
————————————
Shouta closes his eyes, willing the voices of his coworkers to go away. They’re angry, he gets it. But couldn’t they be quieter? Everything hurt.
He would do it again in a heartbeat of course if it meant his kids would be safe.
Thank Kami they're all safe.
Injured, some of them, but alive. Amazingly, blessedly, alive.
“We can’t keep doing undercover work like this if it’s putting our students in danger." Snipes voice cuts through the confusion, some of the other teachers in the room voicing agreement.
Shouta was sitting on a couch near Nezu, who was up on his stool. He had called this meeting as soon as Shouta was out of the hospital, clearly wanting to clear up any concerns.
And they, of course ,had good reason to be concerned after the USJ incident.
“Listen to me,” Shoutas voice is quiet but it grabs the attention of his audience.
“None of the information I gave away put our students in danger. I had barely even glanced at which training gym we would be at until this morning, and that’s not something I would have shared with the Yakuza."
The staff shifts uncomfortably, none able to dispute Aizawas words.
“Shouta-kun is right,” Nezu says, “I have reviewed everything shared with the Shei Hassakai and none of it had hinted toward the field trip.”
Through his months of spying on the Yakuza, Shouta had learned that while groups of villains rarely worked together, they did share information. And lots of it. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume the group could be involved in the League of Villains.
Nobody said anything for a while as Nezu let them all come up with the same thought.
“There’s another traitor,” It was Yagi who broke the silence.
Everybody tried to hide their suspicious glances. Except, everyone knew everyone here, and the idea that there was a traitor in the staff… it just didn’t make sense.
“I’ve already done extensive checks on all of the staff and nothing has come up. The students, however, are much harder to investigate,” Nezu explains.
“So you're saying one of the students is a traitor.”
Whispers broke out at the realization. One of their students.
“Now everyone!” Nezu quieted them, “This is the sort of thing is they want from us. The traitor will want us suspicious of our students, will want us turning on each other."
“I implore you all to not let this information change the way you treat your students. And do not tell any of them, if word gets out among the children it won’t go well. I’m working on investigations, but it will take time. I ask for you to have patience,” Nezu says.
This seems to calm the crowd and many nod. After a moment of silence, Nezu nods at them and jumps into the vents.
The sight never gets less creepy.
The staff quickly evacuate the room, some going to their classrooms, others to their offices. Shouta stays where he’s seated. Mostly out of convenience, maybe also because moving is painful.
He feels a presence beside him on the couch and recognizes his husband immediately.
“Hizashi,” he greets, then falls his head onto the man's shoulder.
“Shouta," his husband returns, bringing a hand to his hair.
Aizawa would usually scorn such a public display of affection, but hey, he’s tired, and he deserves this. He stays there in his husbands arms until Snipe runs through and he gets too embarrassed, pulling away.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go home? You have all month off on medical leave Shou, at least take the rest of the week off."
They’d had this conversation already, in which Shouta adamantly refused to leave his students alone after such an attack.
“The kids don’t even have classes Shou, I could bring you papers to grade.”
The offer was… tempting. And if the kids had off, it would be illogical to stay in the office when he could get just as much work done at home. He could multitask healing with getting his work done.
“Fine,” he said, practically feeling his sunshine’s grin.
————————————
“Midoriya, our class has been called for a meeting!” Iidas hand chops the air as he peeks into Izukus room.
Izuku perks up, getting up from his desk, “Thanks for letting me know Iida.”
Iida nods and Izuku follows him out. He’s led downstairs where about half the class is already waiting with Present Mic.
Izuku assumes this is about the attack, probably that they’re canceling classes for a while.
Sure enough, after the whole class is congregated in the common areas a few moments later, Mic speaks up.
“Hey Listeners!” He’s upbeat, which probably means Aizawa-Sensei is recovering well. Then again, the man was good at hiding things.
“I hope you’re all doing alright, and thanks for coming down real quick. We just wanted to let you kiddos know classes are canceled until Monday, and any homework is postponed in the meantime.”
A few of his classmates let out small cheers, but Izuku couldn't force himself to do the same. One lingering question remained: Will they be going home?
“Unfortunately, because of the attack and security reasons, we’re keeping everyone on campus. Hopefully, you guys can all go home Friday night, but it’s still something we’re figuring out,” Yamada-Sensei continues.
Izuku lets a small sigh of relief out. Then frowns because he should want to go home, at least to see Eri.
How selfish of him, to spend his time enjoying UA while Eri suffers.
He pushes his thoughts down and forces himself to listen.
“-this is a lot on you guys, so Hound Dog has cleared his schedule. I urge you all to talk to him, or even one of your teachers if you're comfortable. I’m always here for you guys, and sometimes just talking can really help get things off your chest!” A few of his classmates shift at the uncomfortable topic of trauma, but Izuku knows many of them will take the offer.
“That’s all for now little listeners, any questions?”
There’s a silence before Kaminari hesitantly raises his hand from his spot on a couch and Yamada-Sensei nods at him.
“Uhm, how’s Aizawa-Sensei? Is he gonna be ok?” He looks nervous that he may have crossed a line in asking, but everyone wanted to know the answer.
The room stills as they wait Present Mics response.
(Please don’t tell me I got him killed)
“Shoutas going to be alright! He needs to rest, but thanks to Recovery Girl he should be back to good in no time!”
There’s a breath released by the whole class. Everyone had been worried, after watching their teacher put his life on the line for them, watching him be crushed, his limbs broken. Worried that the worst had happened.
(You didn’t kill him)
After Yamada establishes that there are no other questions, he says his goodbyes.
Most of the classmates disperse quickly. Izuku takes a moment and looks out the window
Izuku is somewhat glad to have the break, though part of him wishes he could go back to the base, just so Eri would have someone. Just so she wouldn’t be alone.
He takes a deep breath and leaves the dorm. He needed a walk right now, or a run. The run was beginning to set, casting an orange hue across campus. It was so quiet.
“My boy!” Izuku turned around at the sound of All Might calling out to him.
He was in his muscular form, though after his fight Izuku wouldn’t be surprised if he reveals his true form to his classes soon. Izuku suspected he wouldn't be able to hold it for more than an hour after USJ.
The man approaches and Izuku does his best to paint on a smile as he falls into step with his mentor
“Hi All Might! How are you?” He asks as the man turns and they begin to walk.
All Might had been injured pretty badly at USJ, and Izuku was almost worried he had completely lost One for All.
“I’m alright Izuku, and you? Schools canceled for you kids for the rest of the week, right? That should be nice.” He comments.
“Yeah,” Izuku responds, forcing himself to stay upbeat while he patiently waits for Yagi to bring up the real reason for the meeting. He enjoyed talking with the man, but it was obvious he had something to tell him.
“There’s something I think you should know my boy,” he says and Izuku glances at him as he continues.
“I want you to understand this can’t be shared with your classmates, it’s not something I’m supposed to share with you, but I think it’s for the best.”
They stop now and Izuku looks up at his mentor, waiting for him to say more.
“We think there’s a traitor, a student."
Guilt is immediately clawing its way through Izuku. It bubbles up, dangerously close to the surface, raking around for an escape. He wants to sink into the ground, or maybe spontaneously combust.
Because he knows there’s a traitor in the school. He knows it’s a student. He knows because it’s him.
He wishes he could confess right now. Wishes they could lock him away so he couldn’t hurt any more people but his mind wanders back to Eri. It always wanders back to Eri.
He can’t leave her. He just can’t.
He forces himself to keep it together.
“O-Oh?”
“I don’t want you to distrust your friends, but do be careful what you share. You shouldn't tell anyone about One For All, even if they are a friend. The less people who know, the better.”
Izuku just nods.
“Alright my boy,” Toshinori puts a hand on his shoulder and Izuku almost forgets to stop himself from flinching.
“Go on and rest up, I’ll see you in class on Monday” All Might jerks his head, gesturing for him to leave.
“Thanks for letting me know,” Izuku says, voice more solemn than before, “see you in class,” and then he turns and walks away.
He makes his way back to the dorm, trying to hide his guilt when he exchanges words with Ochako and he notices the bandage on her cheek.
He regrets letting Chisaki know about the field trip. He didn’t think anything of it, didn’t think the man would pass the information on to the League of all groups. He had just glanced at it and saw the location on one of Aizawa-Sensei's papers. Chisaki had asked later, along with a host of other random, seemingly unimportant information.
He swallows his grief and promises to help Ochako with her homework later.
It seems at every turn there’s a new reminder of his failure. Kirishimas bandaged arms, Froppys damaged tongue, Kacchans blistering hands, Ojiros wrapped tail.
And then the break passes and they go to class on Monday.
And Kami his Sensei.
He walks in and he freezes for just a moment because the man was covered in bandages. His eyes barely showed through the body cast.
And it was his fault. Izuku had done that to the man.
Oh sure, he hadn’t been the one to crush him, but he might as well have. He allowed it to happen, he enabled it.
But he swallows his emotions and finds his seat.
They stay inside for class when they usually would do some sort of exercise. They even get some time to work on their hero costumes, something Izukus has been meaning to redesign.
But all class he can’t help but let the feeling of guilt build up. Each time he looks around, he’s reminded of the damage he caused.
And he supposes Aizawa saw some of the guilt on his face because he was asked to stay behind after class.
Izuku was scared for a moment. Did he know? How could he?
His teacher lays a bandaged hand on his shoulder and it takes everything in Izuku not to react.
They’re alone in the classroom and that fact shouldn’t make Izuku tremble like it does. Teachers never did like him.
“Izuku,” his voice is soft and it makes Izuku feel better than it should, “I know you think this is all your fault in some twisted way, but it isn’t ok? You saved people at USJ.”
Izuku looks away, not daring to meet his teacher's eyes.
He sees the look on his teachers face out of the corner of his eye. He was genuinely concerned and it makes Izuku sick. He really believed Izukus guilt was unfounded.
What would he say if he knew? Izuku wonders if he would yell or be silent. He can’t decide which is worse. He thinks he would prefer the yelling.
Aizawa realizes Izuku won’t be responding, so he continues.
“Alright Izuku, go on to lunch ok? And let me know if you want to talk."
Izuku nods and leaves the classroom, having not said a single word.
————————————
It’s almost the weekend and Shouta is grateful. Normally, a Friday night would mean early patrol and a late dinner with Hizashi, but because of his injuries, he’s not allowed (not that he would try, not for a few more days at least) to do any patrols.
He was healing well though, and all of his casts had been removed, except for his right arm, as it had been shattered. Between Recovery Girl and some other quirks used in him at the hospital, he would be fully recovered in under a week.
After the attack, the school was quick to implement new policies for the students safety. Normally, Shouta would never complain about this, but really, his students are capable of waiting for their rides without supervision
The students will wait inside UA on Fridays for a parent or the bus. They remained behind the locked school gates until then, out of harms way.
But still, he waits with them. It will only take an hour and he can get lost in his thoughts in the meantime.
It’s nearing an hour and only two students are left, waiting for a bus.
He glances up at Kouda first. The boy has made great strides in his social skill, though Shouta still fears he’s far behind his peers.
Then he glances at Izuku… and pauses.
The boy was sunken in on himself. Differently than normal, when he would shrink up under attention. Here, he was practically shriveled, picking at his hands and toying with his backpack.
He knew the boy was guilty about USJ for some reason. Even though he had proven himself strategic, if not reckless. Shouta didn’t quite understand why the boy felt he was responsible, but he did seem to hold high expectations for himself.
Aizawa hesitated only a moment before approaching him, making his presence known with loud footsteps and even a deliberate sniffle.
“Izuku?” He asks, causing the boy to look up at him.
“Are you alright?”
He watches the emotions pass through Izukus' eyes, the consideration, the warmth, the fear. It’s an odd combination, one that doesn’t quite make sense.
He had talked to the kid earlier in the day too with little luck. Aizawa was beginning to wonder if there was something beneath the surface here.
The bus pulls up and Shouta senses Koudas gaze on them for a moment before her gets on the bus.
“Have a good weekend Sensei.” and before Shouta can react, Izuku gets on the bus.
Shouta likes to think he doesn’t overreact.
Some of his coworkers would stop the whole class if somebody broke an arm but not Shouta. He would send them to Recover Girl, and make sure they don’t make the same mistake, but he wouldn’t overreact, wouldn’t put everyone else on hold.
He doesn’t want to overreact here.
But Izuku hadn’t answered him.
He wants to write it off. Maybe he was out of it, maybe he just didn’t register the question. USJ had been traumatizing, that could have something to do with it.
(Maybe he’s asking you for help)
Shouta doesn’t overreact. One response is not enough to warrant any immediate reaction. Instead, he resigns himself to paying closer attention to the boy as soon as he comes back.
————————————
Izuku steels himself before he walks into the building. The Yakuzas secondary base is where Izuku spent almost all his life at. It used to be a bar, but has been transformed somewhat into living quarters. The bar itself, of course, was kept up and running.
Maybe Chisaki would be in his office and he could slip back to Eri without him noticing. Izuku closed his fingers around his backpack straps and pushed open the door.
He knew he was out of luck when he caught a glance of Chisaki. Izuku immediately brought his head down, he found quickly that the man didn’t like eye contact. Especially when he was in a mood.
He closes the door behind him, careful to be quiet - not so much that he could be accused of sneaking, but not so loud he would be a bother.
Chisaki sighs and Izuku freezes, apparently, that was the wrong move.
“What are you waiting for? Get to your fucking room!” His voice crescendos into a yell and Izuku flinches, he sounded drunk. He normally stayed sober, but then things went sideways that was the first thing Chisaki did. That, and yell.
“Yes sir,” he mumbles and quickly heads down the hallway leading to the rest of the base.
He supposes he’ll be in trouble later for how much he helped during USJ, but he was safe for now and that’s what matters.
He and Eris room were just across from each other, and after that was a bathroom. There was another room, next to Izukus. He hasn't been in that room for a while now.
Chisakis office was at the end of the hallway. It reminded Izuku of how his father would sit at the head of the table, back before Izuku was diagnosed, before his father grew angry.
“And no talking to Eri!” Chisakis voice calls after him and Izukus last remnants of hope did.
Eri would be alone this weekend. Maybe Chisaski would let him visit on Sunday? But that rarely happened.
He clenches his jaw as his eyes glance over to Eris door. The Doctor never took her on the weekends. Usually, it was because he was busy with Izuku, but after he started UA, all the tests they did on him halted.
He wonders if it was because of how sickly he looked after days without food, his fainting spells and paleness from the water tests, or the twitching from electrocution.
It didn’t matter though. The Doctor, thank Kami, continued to leave Eri alone on Friday nights, Saturdays, and Sundays.
He opens the door to his room, at least he had a semblance of privacy, even if the door didn’t lock. The room was small, but Izuku supposes he couldn't complain about the roof over his head.
He did wish he had a window, or at least carpeted floors instead of concrete - heck, a place to keep his clothes that wasn’t under the cold metal bedframe would have been nice.
Izuku set his bag down and sits on the bed, it creaked in protest as he leaned his head against the cold brick wall.
He wished Eris room was next to his, instead of across. The walls weren’t very thick, maybe they would’ve been able to talk.
(Izuku made a lot of wishes)
Izuku hoped she wasn’t injured too badly. The Doctor didn’t like bandaging the wounds very much and often did them sloppily if he did them at all. Izuku would usually be able to redo them a bit tighter when he got home from school.
He sighs and gets up to unzip his backpack, it’s the same one he’s had for ages, since before he met Chisaki. An obnoxious bright yellow he thoroughly regrets choosing at the store with his mother.
Izuku tries to remember his mother's face.
He can’t.
————————————
”Mom! Look at this one!” Izuku excitedly bounces up and down, his little finger pointing to a backpack.
His mother laughs, the kind of laugh that fills your whole being, “I think those are the backpacks for older kids Izuku, why don’t you choose one of the smaller ones?” She offers.
”But mommmm,” Izuku wines, “look it’s so pretty."
”It’s so big though! I’m afraid you’ll have a hard time picking it up.” Izuku makes pleading eyes at his mother.
”But they don’t have a yellow in the kids section, besides - I’ll need to get strong if I’m going to be a hero!
Izukus mother sighs, but Izuku can tell she’s not really upset, “Alright,” she says, and Izuku starts cheering and thanking her, “But!” She puts up a finger and Izuku stops, “You have to promise you’ll keep it until junior high."
”I promise Mom! Thank you!” Izuku hugs her.
Izuku hugs her and everything is ok.
————————————
Izuku knows the weekend passed, of course it did, but he remembers very little of it.
He knows he wasn’t allowed to see Eri, and he knows his homework got done, but beyond that, he remembers nothing.
This isn’t uncommon, actually, most weekends without Eri are like this. He just… forgets them. They pass them by as if he is watching from the outside. Forgetting bits and pieces along the way.
He’s on the bus Sunday night going back to UA when he reaches up to grab the bus handle and feels it.
A pain on his arm, a burning sensation he couldn’t have missed. He could recognize it from anywhere of course. It was the pain from Chisakis quirk.
Izuku frowned. He hadn’t remembered before, but now that he thinks about it he does recall Chisaki using his quirk on him.
Chisaki was mad at him, he didn’t like how Izuku had jumped in to help the heroes when he could have stayed back, he didn’t like how Izuku didn’t have any information about his classmates quirks.
He remembers the session, how Chisaski called him into the room. Izuku came, already zoned out, already gone from his body before the man even started.
Izuku shivered at the memory and tried to ignore the now burning pain in his arms. He didn’t feel any bandages, so it was safe to assume he was either so out of it he didn’t think to do it, or he didn’t have anything to wrap it with.
He does have some in his dorm room, but he’s been trying to keep those for emergencies. Another jolt in the bus had his vision going white for a moment and Izuku decides that this counts as an emergency.
He gets off the bus at UA and finally lets himself relax a little. The school was starting to feel more like a home than the base, the only thing missing being Eri.
Izuku hopes Eris doing ok without him, he hopes he’ll be allowed to see her next weekend.
It’s still early on Sunday, a little before dinner time when he walks through the front gates. Chisaski had dismissed him to leave whenever he wanted, and Izuku decided to go at early as possible.
He wasn’t alone when he arrived though. Ochako was getting something to eat in the dorms and he passed Kirishima lifting weights in his room on his way to his own.
After Izuku wraps his wounds (they looked bad, how could he not have remembered them?) he gets some schoolwork done and meal plans for the week.
He goes to bed early, exhausted from the weekend, and tries to not let his mind wander.
————————————
As soon as Aizawa-Sensei walks into the classroom all of the students are sitting at attention in their desks. Aizawa glances at them, his eyes lingering on Izuku, before starting his lesson.
It only takes a moment for Izuku to recall the horrendously horrible decision he made before he left on Friday.
(”Izuku?” Aizawa Sensei approached him and Izuku looked up.
”Are you alright?” He asks, a rare concern dancing in his eyes.
Izuku stares for a moment, different thoughts speeding through his head. He should say yes, that’s the most logical thing to say.
Izuku knows he’s a horrible liar.
”Have a good weekend Sensei.”
Izuku leaves.)
Oh Kami. He had completely forgotten about the interaction! Was Aizawa Sensei suspicious of him? Would he look further? Would he ask questions?
He would have to tread very carefully around Aizawa, and all of the staff for that matter. If they found out then Eri would get hurt.
(But they could help you)
(Help a bad guy?)
(Heros don’t help bad guys like me)