Chapter Text
“Trust me, filly; you're making a grave mistake,” Hoofsing said. “I've killed ponies for lesser crimes against me personally. The fact that you're almost certainly taking part in what I can only assume is mass ponynapping is not doing you any favours.”
“Are you trying to threaten me, Dirt-walker?” the pegasus asked. “The only reason you're not a smear on the ground is because our boss let you keep those enchanted hoofshoes your wearing to Cloud Walk!”
“They'll come to regret it, I'm sure,” Hoofsing laughed. He gave the bindings that tied his front legs behind him a tug, and found them very secure. “So, what's all this about, then? Which moron are you serving that told you mass ponynapping's a good idea?”
“That's none of your business,” the pegasus huffed, making her way to the bar door of the cell Hoofsing only just realised he was in.
“Kinda is,” Hoofsing said. “You did ponynap me, after all.”
“Do you ever shut up, Dirt-walker?”
“Well, Sterling's not here, so no. Gotta make up for the lack of funny one somehow.”
The pegasus rolled her eyes, opened the cell door, and slammed it shut behind her as she left, leaving Hoofsing alone with his thoughts.
“What a stick in the mud,” Hoofsing muttered, as he twisted his tied up leg behind his back a few times, and the ropes that bound him fell free. “And really; who uses ropes these days? Didn't even use a constrictor knot.”
“Um... Hello?” a small voice from a different cell said. “Is somepony there?”
“Others in here too, huh?” Hoofsing asked. “Yeah, somepony's here. How long have you been in this dump?”
“About... a week, I think?” the voice replied. “Excuse me, but... are you mister Hoofsing?”
“I am he, yes,” Hoofsing responded, as he poked his head between the bars. “And that voice... Fluttershy?”
“Y-yes,” the yellow furred pegasus replied, as she stuck her own head out of her cell, next to Hoofsing's. “Hello...”
“Well, this makes even less sense now,” he said. “Why are you down here?”
“I... don't really know,” Fluttershy said. “They've been bringing so many ponies down here, and dragging off just as many for... something scary.”
“Well, I guess it wouldn't be a mystery if we knew exactly what was going on, would it?” Hoofsing said. “Jerks took all my tools, too. How are we going to get out of this one?”
“I... don't suppose mister Sterling's around too, is he?”
“Since it doesn't sound like he's in a cell like us, I can only imagine he was knocked out and dumped on the side of the road somewhere. Probably banking on the fact that he can't enter a building without permission.”
“Then... will he and Rainbow Dash be able to help us?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Hoofsing reassured. “Both because your friend's as stubborn as a mule, and because Sterling is more that capable of thinking around his own weaknesses.”
“So, that's unquestionably the weather factory,” Sterling said, as if recapping. “Dunno how I feel about them using a factory for a castle, but we know where they are now.”
“And how exactly are we gonna get inside?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Remember? You can't exactly do 'doors'.”
“That's a matter of perspective,” Sterling said. “But for now, we'll bide our time. Find out what we can from ponies that are willing to talk to us, while my daughter infiltrates the building.”
“Urgh. Seriously?” Rainbow Dash groaned. “We're gonna warm the benches rather than charge in there?”
“... I hate being the voice of reason in the pair,” Sterling muttered. “Look, kid. We don't know what we're dealing with, outside of the zombies. For all we know, they could have an entire orphanage foalnapped in there, ready to be used as hostages against anypony stupid enough to go in there hooves blazing.” Sterling let out a small sigh. “I miss being the voice of chaos. Why couldn't I have been paired up with Fluttershy? I much rather being on the side of 'gets reigned in'.”
“What are you, secretly Discord in disguise?”
“Nah. Not nearly that charming,” Sterling answered. “By the by, but where is that draconequus? I'm honestly surprised he hasn't stepped in to lend a claw, especially since his 'one true friend' is in danger for, what, the second time?”
“Couldn't tell ya, buddy,” Rainbow Dash said. “I think that jerk's sitting back and watching things unfold. Ya know, being the lord of chaos and all that.”
“Fair point,” Sterling agreed. “You can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest, after all.”
“So you trust Discord more than Applejack?”
“Well, you never quite know what to expect from someone being honest,” Sterling said. “Now, if Applejack were to say she loved you, that'd catch you off guard, right?”
“Well, duh,” Rainbow said.
“Now, say Discord said it. You'd know not to take it seriously, because he is an inherently dishonest creature.”
“I think I get it,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “So, which does that make you? The untrustworthy honest guy, or the reliably dishonest one?”
“Oh, I'm dishonest. Without question,” Sterling answered. “If I were to turn traitor in any way, shape, or form, the real question would have to be 'am I actually a double agent or not'.”
“Why do you say that like you're already planning for it?”
“I'm planning for everything, kid. Trust me; once you're 1000 years old, you start having a plan to kill everypony you meet.”
“So, you've got plans on how to kill me if you need to?”
“I've got, like seven for you alone, and I came up with them all in the span of time from when we met like, an hour ago. Now Hoofsing, on the other hoof, I have the most plans for, just in case.”
“Perhaps we should chat less about how much of a homicidal maniac you are, and focus on the problem at hoof?”
A moment of silence followed, as the two ponies stared at the weather factory. “... How many plans are we talking for your partner?” Rainbow asked.
“72.”
Starlight realised rather quickly that she was now in the Cloudsdale weather factory. The place just reeked of ozone, after all.
She was fortunate the nopony here seemed to be giving her presence a second thought. This was mostly thanks to the psychological trick of 'her acting like she belonged here'. Just look grumpy, shout a few orders at passing ponies, and make yourself seem unapproachable. Very easy stuff.
Another that really helped Starlight out was the fact that, since everypony here assumed she was some important higher up, they made sure to loudly go over what they knew about the big plan in her presence, just to make sure that she, one of the bosses, knew that they knew what they were doing. Unfortunately for them... Starlight didn't know what they were doing. So, all they were achieving was making sure she did know the plans in the wrong ways possible.
From the sounds of it, they've done something to the part of the factory where they produce the rainbows, which was, they were saying, being used to create the zombie ponies that Sterling had been talking about whenever she checked in.
Zombies made with the use of rainbows... what a strange concept. She'd call it absurd, but she was already a vampire; absurd came and went long ago, and didn't even have the decency to leave an address to forward its mail to.
After having relayed that information back to Sterling telepathically, Starlight decided that now would be the best time to bust Hoofsing out of whatever prison he was being held in. The question now, though, was where that prison was.
“... And the prisoners?” a voice suddenly said. Starlight quickly took flight, diving just below (above?) the clouds that made up the roof.
Two stallions walked by, not noticing her. One was a simple pegasus soldier, while the other... Starlight could smell the vampirism on that one.
“The pegasus filly's too timid to get anything out of,” the pegasus responded. “As for the stallion... he's proving to be difficult in his own way.”
“Sounds like that blasted Hoofsing, alright,” the vampire said. “Typical, arrogant hunters. Couldn't even be bothered to finish me off last time we fought. But, our master wants him to suffer before we throw him into the mixture, and I shall see to that myself.”
“By the by,” the pegasus said hesitantly. “You've never really told us who this 'master' of yours was.”
“And be thankful for that, if you value your blood more in your veins,” the vampire spat. “Only those that, one way or another, are to be dead, may know.”
“... Bit of a clunky sentence, that one,” the pegasus pointed out. “Well, whatever. You're the boss, I guess.”
The pegasus trotted away, and the vampire sighed. “Idiots,” he said. “I'm surrounded by winged idiots. This would have been so much simpler if that hunter didn't ruin my work over a decade ago.”
Remaining quiet, Starlight followed after the vampire, keeping within the clouded roof while quietly relaying all this information back to Sterling.
“... and so I said; Hey! Give me back my lettuce!” Hoofsing said loudly, getting a laugh out of Fluttershy for just how nonsensical his story had been. Sterling was really so much better at this sort of thing than he was.
Silence fell for a moment, before Fluttershy spoke. “So, how long have we been down here now?” she asked.
“Well, it's been an hour since I woke up,” Hoofsing said, “so just add that to however long you can recall.”
“Do you think Rainbow Dash and Sterling will be able to save us?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Hoofsing reassured. “With style, too. It'd be a pretty depressing world if the heroes weren't able to save the day at the last minute, right?”
A low, evil laugh echoes through the halls, accompanied by hoofsteps. Fluttershy very quickly withdrew into the corner of her cell, while Hoofsing remained where he was.
“Oh, how the tables turn,” somepony said, as a figure that was very obviously a vampire stepped into view. “Did you miss me, Van Hoofsing?”
“You!” Hoofsing exclaimed. The silence the followed was palpable... until it started to edge into the realm of awkward. By the time Hoofsing was prepared to speak his thoughts, the silence had become depressing and insulting. “Who are you again?”
The vampire staggered. “Wha- You mean to tell me you've forgotten me?!” he shouted. “ME?! THE DREADED DRACULA?!!”
Hoofsing stared blankly at the vampire. “Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?” he asked. “Just in the past decade, I've dealt with at least seven vampires that call themselves that name.”
'Dracula' gritted his teeth in frustration. “Castle Dracul!” he shouted. “T'was by my hooves that Sterling Silver was once again given flesh!”
“Oh!” Hoofsing exclaimed. “Oh, you're that tool! How'd your survive that night?”
“I was skewered to the roof,” Dracula stated bluntly. “Gravity rectified that, and you didn't finish the job.”
“Huh. Well, that's egg on my face, then.”
“Blase as always,” Dracula muttered bitterly. “My master was right; you are a threat to our cause.”
“Your 'master'?” Hoofsing asked. “So you are subservient to somepony out there?”
“When last we met, you left me a wreck,” Dracula spat. “For years, I wallowed on the edge of death, kept alive solely out of spite for you. Then, three years ago... she appeared. The new glorious leader of the undead! Queen of the night! The everlasting, guiding Midnight!”
“... Princess Luna?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly.
“I feel like he's talking more about somepony like Nightmare Moon, personally,” Hoofsing responded. “But, at the same time... not?”
“Don't bother trying to analyse my words, hunter!” Dracula laughed. “You will never know where, or even WHO my master is!”
“Considering I've been all over Equestria save for one place, I have a safe guess about 'where',” Hoofsing said. “And frankly, dude, you practically spilled all the beans.” A smirk made its way over his face. “Like an idiot.”
Dracula snarled, nostrils flaring as a crimson light enveloped his horn. The vampire's magic grabbed hold of Hoofsing and slammed him against the bars of his cell. “You arrogant whelp!” he spat. “Just for that, I'll see you and this mare dead!”
Hoofsing let out a small grunt of pain. “Isn't that... the entire reason we're here?” he taunted. “I'm starting to remember why you were so forgettable.”
Fury boiled behind Dracula's eyes, as his magic ripped the cell doors from the walls (not a hard feat of strength), and grabbed hold of the frightened Fluttershy. “I would not be so cocky if I were you!!” he fumed furiously.
As Dracula dragged the two away, Hoofsing noticed his assortment of weaponry on a table just out of reach... and in the corner of his eye, he saw Starlight Glimmer poking her head through the cloud-made roof, her own magic grabbing hold of Hoofsing's weapons while Dracula wasn't looking.
The two locked eyes briefly. Hoofsing mouthed some instructions silently to her, before giving a reassuring wink. Starlight, in response, rolled her eyes, before ducking back into the clouds. To her, this was just proof that Hoofsing and Sterling weren't, at the end of the day, that different.
Hoofsing and Fluttershy were slammed down onto the factory floor. The smell of ozone was so thick, Hoofsing felt as though he could take a bite out of it and spit a rain cloud back out.
“Tell me, Van Hoofsing,” Dracula spat. “Do you know where you are right now?”
“Considering I don't regularly vacation to Cloudsdale, that's a tough question,” Hoofsing chuckled, slowly raising his head. “But yeah. I've heard of this place. The rainbow factory, yes?”
The rainbow factory. As the name implied, it was the one place in Equestria where all the rainbows were made. In most dimensions, rainbows were just a case of light from the sun splitting as it passed through rain, but in this world, that stuff was hoof-made.
Hoofsing may have never been here before, but even the untrained eye could tell this place was... a little too red to be normal.
Fluttershy raised her head, and looked as appropriately horrified as anypony who had even a modicum of an idea about what was happening here. “What... have you done?” she asked shakily.
“All part of the plan,” Dracula smirked. Clearly, he was enjoying having at least one terrified member of the audience. “Each captive we've had has had their blood drained into the system, all to create the ultimate monster. Anycreature dipped in this mixture of blood and rainbows will be reborn, stronger than ever!”
“Wow, we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?” Hoofsing commented. “Everypony's heard the 'horror stories' about the rainbow factory, dude. Stories about how pegasi who did meet certain criteria were slaughtered and used as dye in the old days. You must be-” a sarcastic laugh broke through his words, “VERY desperate if you're bringing in a plot like this.”
Dracula snarled in frustration at Hoofsing's flippancy. “I would not be so casual if I were you!” he hissed. “One errant dip in this mixture, and mortals like yourselves will become like fuel!”
“To what end?” Hoofsing questioned, as he quietly made his way to Fluttershy's side, and motioned for her to climb onto his back. “This plan just seems like scraping the bottom of the barrel.”
Teeth gritting and grinding in frustration, Dracula let out a vicious growl, “You clearly don't know what you're dealing with!” he barked. “Any living pony that consumes this fluid will become an empowered slave! As for me, I plan to take it all into my very being, and become as a GOD!!”
Hoofsing felt Fluttershy quiver in fear on his back, but he himself was largely unimpressed. “That sounds like a horribly thought out plan,” he pointed out. “For all you know, drinking the technicolor blood-punch is just a recipe for melting your insides.”
“Then that's just a gamble I'll have to take!!”
Hoofsing rolled his eyes. “Then, perhaps for your own sake, we should stop you.” Suddenly, he clapped his front hooves together, much to Dracula's confusion.
Half a second later, the vampire was blasted by a beam of concentrated magic from above.
Starlight Glimmer quickly descended from the roof, landing beside Hoofsing and Fluttershy. “Wonderful timing,” Hoofsing commented. “Sterling would be proud.”
“Don't patronise me,” Starlight muttered, as she levitated Hoofsing's weapons back to him. “Take your stuff and get ready to run.”
Just as Hoofsing took possession of his tools once more, Dracula quickly rose back out of the clouded floor, and if he was able to somehow look any more pissed off than he was, he would have. “You...” he spat viciously. “YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!”
With a crimson glow of his horn, Dracula took hold of the slurry of rainbows and blood, pulling the strange fluids closer and closer, before letting it merge with his very being.
“Wh... what's he doing?” Fluttershy asked nervously.
“Well, either he's going to become some horrible abomination against nature,” Hoofsing said, “or a puddle. Flip of a coin, really.”
“And you say I'm like Master,” Starlight muttered.
One of Dracula's hooves contorted into a massive claw, reaching out and slamming into the ground before the three. The vampires body twisted in sickening ways, growing several leagues in size until he was around as large as a dragon.
“Oh ho ho ho... Now this...” Dracula's voice reverberated. “This is marvellous! This is TRUE POWER!!”
“Somepony's overcompensating,” Hoofsing muttered. Truthfully, though, he'd admit to feeling just a little worried about the fleshy tendrils that were lashing out and blocking all the doors. “Starlight, could you be a dear and give Sterling the go-ahead to get off his flank?”
“Way ahead of you,” Starlight commented. “I contacted him the moment things started getting weird.”
“... This is only 'starting' to get weird for you?” Hoofsing asked with a raised brow.
“After three years, the only new thing about this situation is the rainbows.”
“Um...” Fluttershy muttered. “Is now really the time for this conversation?”
Back outside, Sterling and Rainbow Dash watched both as many pegasi soldiers abandoned the weather factory, and every zombie in the streets below dissolved into a puddle of rainbow goo.
“Well,” Sterling said. “That's new.”
“This ain't the time to be casual!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “We need to get in there and bail them out!”
Sterling felt a slight twinge in his ear, as Starlight reached out to him. “... Go time it is,” he said.
“Finally!” Rainbow yelled. “Let's get... actually, how are you going to get in there? Y'know, with that whole 'needs permission to come inside' thing.”
“That double entendre was not lost on me,” Sterling smirked. “As for 'how', well... remember that talk Van gave you girls about the 'rules lawyer'? Well,” he chuckled as his horn began to glow, blowing his hat away, “after a thousand years, you'll find some very... creative ways to get around weaknesses.”
Rainbow Dash looked confused for a moment, before she noticed just what Sterling's magic had grabbed hold of; the entire damn weather factory.
Lines began to trace along the crimson glow, divvying up the building into several sectors... as Sterling began to sing once more. Because why wouldn't he?
“Hiding in the fog, where darkness meets the moonlight...” he began, voice like a soft piano. “I will sing a melody, 'til the morning comes. Living for you only... Take my hoof and show me... there will be much sorrow, when the morning comes.”
Then, with a massive excertation of power, the weather factory was torn asunder, fragments of it being thrown to and fro, until all that was really left were the platforms that were once floors. Well, that, as well as Hoofsing, Fluttershy, Starlight, and the monsterous blob of rainbows and blood they were currently running away from.
Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. “What. The hell. Was that?”
“Buildings are the simplest form of 'threshold' that vampires need to work around,” Sterling said. “Take away the building, and...”
“... I was kinda talking more about that thing chasing our friends,” Rainbow Dash pointed out. “But yeah, that was pretty cool, too.”
“Glad you agree,” Sterling smirked, drawing forth his Sling. “Now, let's get to work.”
The two charged forth, leaving trails of crimson and rainbow lights in their wake.
“Fearless we're fighting, the pain burns inside of me, Find the forces of my soul!” Sterling sang on, firing several bolts of magic as the strange rainbow blob thing. “No one can understand me, am I condemned to ride the blackest night alone?”
Rainbow Dash landed next to Hoofsing with a raised brow, all parties mildly thankful that the blob was focusing exclusively on Sterling now. “Hey,” she greeted. “Question for ya; how does that guy choose his songs?”
“Mostly based on mood, really,” Hoofsing answered. “Did not expect the Dragon Force, to be honest. Incidentally, here's your friend back. Not hurt, but she'll be needing a whole lot of hugs after the stuff big old ugly up there pulled.”
Hoofsing gently set Fluttershy down. After a brief moment to recollect herself, the yellow mare launched herself at Rainbow Dash, tightly embracing her friend.
A bright flash of crimson shone overhead. “Looks like Master's pulling out all the stops,” Starlight commented casually. “Haven't seen him use this many laser glyphs before.”
“I have,” Hoofsing said.
“This is my symphony!” Sterling's voice sang. “My dark blessing falls from the sky!!”
“It was at least five years ago,” the hunter continued. “Lycanthrop dragon.”
“I hear the voice rising from the void, of the memories gone by!” The barrage of magic shredded away at the liquid rainbows, leaving the raw, battered body of Dracula behind, floating in mid air.
The Magic Sling was pressed against Dracula's head, and a smirk formed on Sterling's face. “Dark is the path for me,” he continued. “I'll find my peace another way, Under the star where we'll shine again some day.” A click, a bang, and suddenly there was hardly enough left of Dracula to be called a corpse. “Phew. Done and done,” Sterling sighed, holstering the Sling and flying back down to the others. “That guy seemed awfully familiar. What's up with that?”
“That was the same vampire that orchestrated your revival, apparently,” Hoofsing said.
“Really?” Sterling asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “Didn't look like the guy.”
“Largely unimportant,” Hoofsing waved off. “What is important, though, is that he revealed exactly what we were looking for.”
Sterling's eyes widened in surprise. “You mean...?”
Hoofsing smirked. “Midnight,” he said simply. “The name of our target is Midnight. Better yet, they're in the Crystal Empire.”
“Wait, I'm a little lost here,” Rainbow Dash said. “Who and what now?”
“Don't worry your colourful little head about it,” Sterling said.
“Now, sorry to dump the cleanup duty on you two,” Hoofsing said, “but this is something we need to capitalise on immediately. Starlight, let the princess know.”
“Understood,” Starlight responded seriously.
“So, this is it, then?” Sterling asked. “The moment we've been waiting for?”
“The moment we've been waiting for,” Hoofsing smirked. “Now, let's go hunt this Midnight.”