Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"What the hell are you doing in my cave?!" Mammoth demanded as he got up, glaring toward the recliner, or rather the large reanimated form of Coach Grundy seated in it.

"Headmaster assigned Grundy as hairy boy's official watcher to make sure hairy boy no longer skips school," Grundy said with a grunt, "Education is important for young minds..." he added with a sage nod as Mammoth's eyes twitched, "And Grundy thinks hairy boy should clean cave before being allowed TV privileges."

"RAAAAHHHH!!!" Mammoth yelled in outrage to the sky, the scream echoing through the forest and making animals scatter.

 (One week later)

It had been another... interesting day at school, Starfire thought to herself as she made her way back to Zim's house from the HIVE.

 The brat of the spoiled that is Kitten, it seems, was determined to declare a blood feud with her, and continue to seek any means she could to humiliate her or prove her superiority. Which, Starfire thought somewhat smugly, she was completely failing to do. Every attempt to show up Starfire just kept blowing up in her face, something that Starfire and Karen both took much amusement in~

Speaking of whom, Starfire really was enjoying her new friendship with the human girl. Perhaps they should try the hanging out that human teens did on the TV? That seemed like it would be most fun!

 She'd even been going out of her way to help Starfire learn more of the culture of the teen and help her fit in more. Though it seemed Zim, while pleased at her for gaining the confidence of one of the pig-smellies, and of her establishing her dominance over the Kitten, wasn't particular happy at the "friendship" she seemed to be forming. Especially after the experience with the creepy that was the Keef, she thought with a brief shudder, remembering that boy, a part of her wondering what had happened to him, but not caring as long as he was far away.

She'd of course assured Zim this was to the benefit of his mission and wouldn't affect her loyalties... though as she grew closer to Karen, she was planning to make sure she came out safe and favorable when Zim conquered the planet, or if it came to it, perhaps help her relocate back to Tamaran with her, as ensuring her safety was the least Starfire could do in exchange for Karen giving her trust and friendship, was it not?

 However, she was pulled out of her thoughts by a scream ahead of her. Blinking in surprise at that, Starfire looked in confusion as a woman carrying a bag that was spilling makeup items ran down the street.

"The horror! The horror!" she screamed as she ran past Starfire, who turned to look after her as she went, only for another more familiar voice to cry out as well.

"Wait, come back! I needs stuff!" GIR yelled as he came down the street, chasing after the woman.

 Leaving Starfire to blink and wonder for a moment if she should intervene before shrugging, "I suppose there's no harm in letting the little Bumgorf play a little."

 With that, she continued on her way back to the house, oblivious to how GIR would soon be further traumatizing the poor Avon saleslady.

Soon, she reached the base and walked inside, pausing at the sight that greeted her. Zim was sitting slumped on the couch, pouting and clearly in a bad mood, while his robotic parent decoys (which she had to admit that she found to be quite disturbing, if she was being honest) were off to one side, the mother robot poking the father robot with a wooden spoon.

"Zim, I am back," she spoke up, catching Zim's attention.

 "Welcome, General, perhaps you might be able to help Zim figure out the solution to this problem," Zim said with a grunt as he scowled at the parent decoys, prompting a blink from Starfire.

"What is the matter?" She inquired, floating over to sit beside him on the couch.

"Apparently tonight is Parent Teacher Night at Zim's educational facility, where the Earthling pig-smelly smeets are expected to bring their parental units to attend, Zim included.  But the parent decoys are clearly nowhere near ready for that kind of service," Zim said with a growl as the mom decoy continued to jab the dad decoy with the spoon.

"Zim's programming is brilliant!" he exclaimed, holding up a fist, "But even Zim must admit that it is challenging to program the proper level of stupidity that is normal among Earth-Monkeys, that doesn't cross into levels of dumb even for humans, with even less restraint," Zim explained and added with a groan.

 "I see..." Starfire said, glancing at the robots and frowning in thought, "Could you not perhaps make them observe normal humans to imitate them better?"

"Hmm, maybe," Zim mused, scratching his chin in thought, "Though we will have to find a way to accelerate the process, with what limited time we have. And Zim believes it will be of assistance if you attend as well," he added, glancing over to her, "With the cover of us playing host to you while you're here in this pitiful city away from the islands of Tamaran, it might help make more of the Earth-Monkeys believe our brilliant cover story if we're seen together."

 Starfire blinked at that, then nodded.

"Yes, I suppose I can see your point," she said.

"Excellent. But first thing's first," Zim stated, jumping off of the couch, "GIR!"

With a blur, GIR jumped into the house, dog costume now covered in stolen makeup.

"Yes sir!" he greeted with a salute.

 "We must see to the programing of the parent decoys, and we must work quickly!" Zim ordered, gesturing for them to follow, "We only have a few hours till this parent teacher thing, and no doubt the Dib-Stink will exploit any vulnerability he sees to expose us."

He said with a dark scowl, "This would be so much easier if humans had cold unfeeling robot arms like Irkens rather than parental units," Zim remarked, prompting a surprised look of concern from Starfire.

"Irkens do not have families?" she asked with a look of sympathy toward Zim; despite the loss of her parents, or the rift that she worried had formed between her and her sister, she could not imagine a life without them or even Galfore, who had truly stepped up as a k'norfka after the loss of her parents.

 "No, we do not, we have no reason for them," Zim scoffed, "Irkens only have their duty to do their service to the Empire and the Tallest, and that is all we need!"

"That sounds quite lonely," Starfire said sadly.

"Lonely? HA!" Zim barked out a laugh as they entered the elevator and headed down the lower levels, "Irkens have no need for companionship! We stand united against the rest of the universe in an unrelenting tide of conquest yes, but no Irken truly ever needs anyone."

Zim said with a smug smirk that fell slightly at Starfire's look, "But... Zim will admit... in rare cases... some company is welcome."

Ugh, why did he feel the need to reassure her? Zim thought with a grumble. And why did it feel like he wasn't just saying what she wanted to hear? Had he really come to like her presence so much in so short a time?

Admittedly, her presence was certainly more tolerable than those Zim had usually been forced to keep company with, whether through fellow cadets back in his training years, scientists on Vort Research Station 9 who didn't see his brilliance, or all his fellow Invaders who were merely jealous of Zim's amazing skill! Except for Skoodge, but ehh, that was Skoodge. And don't even get Zim started on Sizz-Lorr!

Yes... there was no denying that Starfire, despite her over reliance on honor he was still working on getting rid of, was proving acceptable company to keep. She was certainly more tolerable than any of the robots that he had at his disposal, he thought. The Robot-Parents, as established, weren't properly programmed, GIR's programming was so advanced that it came across as stupid, and the Computer was a disrespectful piece of junk.

But Starfire... Zim could have real conversations with her, and actually enjoyed spending time with her.

Was Zim becoming... soft?! NO! Of course not! Zim was as ruthless and evil as ever! Zim... Zim... merely saw a valuable asset! Starfire was proving not only a good agent in further infiltrating this wretched planet, but also helping her master keep his senses sharp from inferior or stupid company. That was it!

As Zim was reassuring himself of that, Starfire was dwelling on her own thoughts.

She'd always thought negatively of Irkens... but right now, she felt a twinge of pity. To go your whole life with no one beside you to rely on except maybe other soldiers who didn't care about you personally? That was truly a sad experience, no matter what Zim said.

Was that why he was so angry all the time? Because he had so little positive support in his life?

Perhaps what Zim needed was to be shown that he had someone that cared for him. Shown the joy in accepting friendship and love in his life! Starfire thought with determination, not even noticing the word "love" popping up in her thoughts or how it sent a warm feeling through her.

Soon, they reached the labs, and Zim walked in front of a row of screens.

"Computer! Bring up every possible video you can find on the human inter-webs about how normal adult Earth-Monkey parental units behave!" he ordered.

"You got it, but you sure you want those so-called decoys leaving the house?" The Computer asked as it followed the order, "Because honestly, you might have better luck hiring actors."

"Do not question Zim!" Zim snapped, "Obviously, superior Irken technology would be better for the role of pretending to be human pig-smellies than actual ones!"

"I... do not quite follow that logic," Starfire commented with a blink, "But, I do agree that it is probably best to not get humans involved in this."

 "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you," the Computer said with an artificial sigh.

"Hmm, and as we prepare the parental units... is there anything about our own cover we need to go over?" Starfire questioned with a frown.

 "Hmm," Zim tapped his chin in thought, "Zim supposes that we should clarify details of how and why you are being hosted by Zim. Even if most of the worm-babies don't care, the Dib-Stink will likely try to poke holes in our story."

"Agreed, and I must confess to being curious about your own cover story you gave," Starfire added with a look toward Zim, with the Computer giving a snort.

"You mean the one that he made up on the spot which is basically being a human foreigner with a weird skin condition?" it asked in a dry tone.

 "It was a brilliant cover, and it worked!" Zim snapped defensively, "Other than the Dib-Stink, no one even slightly saw through it, and that's just because his large head makes him slightly more intelligent than the others!"

"If you say so," the Computer replied, clearly not buying it.

 "Hmmm... perhaps we could take this as the chance to make it even more brilliant then," suggested Starfire as she floated to the side of a scowling Zim.

 "And how do you propose to do that?" Zim asked, annoyed but not genuinely angry at the suggestion.

"Perhaps simply add details of where you are from and why your family came here?" she offered.

 "I.,." Zim was about to say his cover story was perfect as it was; after all, Zim came up with it! But seeing Starfire's earnest expression, and actually thinking about it...

"I suppose... a few more details wouldn't hurt," Zim conceded with a grunt, before adding with a frown, "At the very least, this will prevent the Dib-Stink from causing problems, because he foolishly believes he'll find something in Zim's already flawless cover that will expose Zim! But once Zim makes the cover even more flawless, the Dib will only make a fool of himself!"

He called out with a cackle as he worked to strap in the parent decoys to prepare them for the download.

"Uh-huh... so, what you going with then?" the Computer asked dryly with a hint of curiosity in its digital tone.

"Well, obviously any details in Zim's cover story must be worthy of Zim's greatness," Zim scoffed.

 "Hmm... perhaps your family came here because you were too intelligent a student for your homeland's schools?" Starfire suggested.

"Ooh, yes! Zim likes that!" Zim said excitedly.

"Of course you do," the Computer said flatly, "But really, that ego-stroking aside, improved grades brought you HERE? That seems more like a downgrade."

 "Hmm... you might actually have a point," And to the Computer's surprise, Zim actually acknowledged this, "So, perhaps Zim also came here to help improve the inferior educational system by acting as a superior example to all the small-minded smeets."

Ah, and there was the typical ego flaring up again, the AI thought as Zim gave a smug smirk.

 "Right, that sounds more reasonable," the Computer said dryly, "What about saying where you're from?"

"Can we not simply use the name of Irk for a false location here on Earth, as we did with Tamaran?" Starfire suggested.

"Yes, an excellent suggestion!" Zim declared, "We can simply say that it's a nation in one of those parts of Earth where borders are constantly changing so much that the humans cannot keep track of what they currently are!"

"The Balkans it is, then," the Computer commented.

 "And for why Zim family was chosen to host you, we can say that Zim saved your life from a giant lizard creature native to Tamaran, and that you're in Zim's debt since," the Irken added, not seeing any reason to not include some of his natural amazingness to the cover.

 "You don't think that's a bit much?" the Computer asked.

"Not really, no," Zim said, looking confused as to why the Computer thought that it would be.

"It is technically true, after all," Starfire added, tilting her head in thought, "Even if he was not from Tamaran, Trogaar was a large example of a Gordanian, and they are lizards."

"Exactly, and it will give Zim a chance to show how superior he is to all the Earth-Monkeys without breaking Zim's amazing cover," Zim said as the parent decoys were finished being strapped in and hooked up, "Now, let us prepare the decoys, and this night shall go flawlessly!"

With that, all the screens turned on, each playing a different TV program.

"Failure to rotate stock destroys merchandise."

"You stupid moron!"

"Do you have any ideas?"

"Oooh, I love this show! No wait, this is my favorite show... oooh, no, that's my favorite show!" And GIR immediately rushed over to the various screens with a wide grin.

"This will teach them to act more like the normal humans?" Starfire asked slightly warily as the various clips flashed across the screens.

"Yes. Or at least normal enough to pass for tonight," Zim said with a nod, watching on one screen as a human man was shown walking down a street before an X-ray view of him showed his spine cracking.

"Ahhhhh! My spine!" the man screamed in pain as he spasmed in pain and foam came out of his mouth, before the word "Aspirin" flashed over the screen. Meanwhile, the screen next to it flashed from static to the Scary Monkey Show.

"I love this show~" GIR cooed.

"On second thought, perhaps we should find something else," Zim said with a grimace.

"Maybe this will help, I just compiled it," the Computer said, a mechanical hand lowering a tape labeled "Proper Earth Parenting" down to Zim, who snatched it up.

"Excellent! Zim is glad to see that you're useful something after all, Computer," the Irken crowed.

"I try," the Computer said back, and if it had eyes, it would be rolling them as Zim put in the tape, "I am curious what humans consider the proper parenting."

Starfire admitted, as thinking back to what she'd seen of how this planet treated its young left much to be desired, to say the least.

The video turned on, and started playing on all of the screens at once, showing a human man and woman with a young boy who was presumably their son.

"We sure are proud of our little boy," the woman said.

"We sure are!" the man added.

"Make sure they watch the entire video, GIR. The fate of our mission depends on it!" Zim ordered as he turned to walk away, "Come, General, we must go and prepare ourselves for tonight as well!"

"Be good, little Bumgorf~" Starfire gave GIR a quick hug before setting him down and floating after Zim, "What else needs the preparing for tonight?" she questioned as the lab doors closed behind them, leaving GIR to blink as he stared up at the screens... before pulling out a remote and changing the channels back to the earlier broadcasts.

"Are you plagued by grass stains?" a woman standing in front of a washing machine asked as she held up grass-stained pants.

"I like burritos... but they sure don't like me!" a fat man said, holding a burrito and a glass of hot sauce, the word diarrhea appearing over him, written in blood.

"Who does your hair?" asked a woman with wild hair.

"We now return to our movie in progress - Poke of Doom!" declared an unseen announcer.

"I love this show~" GIR cooed as he watched all of this, as the Robo-Parents twitched with electricity.

"Well, this is going to go badly," the Computer mused. It could step in to fix this... but where was the fun in that?

 (A few hours later)

Sometime later, parents and family members were gathering in the Skool lunchroom at the elementary, some obviously more eager than others for tonight.

"This is it, Gaz, I'm sure of it," Dib spoke with an eager grin, "Whatever plan Zim has to bring his so-called "parents" to Parent Teacher Night is my chance to expose him in front of everyone here," he said eagerly as Gaz gave a grunt, shooting him na annoyed look.

"Do you really have to make tonight even more annoying, Dib?" she asked with a scowl, "It's bad enough that Grundy's here."

 As she said this, she looked over to where their father's reanimation science project (she refused to acknowledge the zombie's delusion that he was their "brother") was standing nearby, holding onto the leash of a child harness that was wrapped around a very disgruntled-looking Mammoth.

"Why am I even here?! This isn't even the school you're forcing me to go to!" Mammoth protested.

"Grundy here to support Grundy's family," the zombie replied, making Gaz roll her eyes, "And Grundy not trust hairy boy to not run away without Grundy's supervision."

While Mammoth grumbled at this, Dib blinked as he finally registered his presence, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you the Bigfoot who broke into our garage and took our belt sander?!" he demanded, pointing angrily at Mammoth.

 "Huh... thought that big head looked familiar," grunted Mammoth with a blink, before pausing, "Wait, you realize I'm a Bigfoot?" He questioned a tad desperately as he got onto his knees, grabbing Dib's shoulder.

"Uh... yeah?" Dib himself just looked startled by this response.

"Finally! I've been telling everyone, but it's either teenager with too much body hair, or mutant gorilla!" Mammoth exclaimed, eye twitching slightly.

"Mutant gorilla?" Dib repeated incredulously.

"I know, right?!" Mammoth yelled, gesturing to himself, "What part of any of this says gorilla?!"

"Maybe it's the smell," Gaz said dryly, while rolling her eyes again. Great, now there was something else here for Dib to freak out over.

 "Hey, you try getting decent plumbing in the woods," Mammoth called back defensively, "It's a miracle that the electricians and cable guys I threaten managed to hook me up with a TV," he added with a scowl, "But seriously, it seemed like that orange alien girl was the only around who could realize I'm a Sasquatch."

 Dib was about to ask how a Sasquatch could get electricity and cable set up in the middle of the woods, when he froze as his brain caught on to what Mammoth had just said.

"Wait... what orange alien girl?!" he demanded, mind immediately going to Starfire.

"Some flying orange girl with red hair who could throw energy blasts around," Mammoth replied with a casual shrug, "Met her and her annoying green dog a while back. Still owe them for that ice cream, come to think of it..."

 "Annoying... green.... dog?" Dib repeated, his eyes twitching at this and at the description of the girl. He only knew one green "dog" which wasn't a dog at all... but this would mean...

"Oh, that lying slimy little... ZIM!" He exclaimed in frustration, realizing that Starfire had never left the city, much less the planet! She was still with Zim! Which meant Zim had a superpowered alien warrior on his side! And for all these weeks, she'd been infiltrating Earth on Zim's behalf, no doubt helping him plot how to conquer the planet. And that whole time, Dib had been falling for that green bastard's bold-faced lies!

"You yelled, Dib-Stink?"

And speak of the devil, Dib thought as he spun around to see Zim nearby, smirking smugly as he stood by the Robo-Parents and Starfire, who was in her everyday purple two-piece outfit, and her "disguise" of a ponytail and glasses. For her part, while Dib was glaring at her and Zim, Starfire blinked and stared at Mammoth.

"Why are you here?" she asked him.

"Blame this undead idiot," Mammoth grunted, gesturing to Grundy.

 "Hello, orange girl, Grundy happy to see one of Grundy's favorite students," Grundy said with a wave of his hand and a smile.

"I'm a favorite?' Starfire asked with a blink.

"Yes, you keep in shape, inspire others to be better," Grundy said with a grunt.

"Not how I'd put it," spoke another voice familiar to Starfire, causing to turn her head toward another approaching figure holding a cup of punch.

"Like this night wasn't going to be annoying as is," said the form of Kitten with a scowl.

"Why are you here?" Starfire asked with her own scowl, not happy to see the blonde outside of their own school.

"My sister's a student here too, remember?" Kitten scoffed, gesturing to where a younger blonde girl was getting some punch as well from the refreshment table, "Our parents forced me to come to this stupid thing for 'family unity' or some stupid reason like that."

 "I see nothing wrong with family unity," Starfire said, giving Kitten a glare, "The chance to spend time with your sister is a joyous one, after all."

Oh, what she wouldn't give to spend time with her own sister, she thought with a sigh while Kitten rolled her eyes.

"Right, because 'joyous' is the word to use for this snore-fest," she sneered, "I know you're a freak, but I'd have at least thought you had a sense of actual fun, weirdo."

Starfire scowled at the blonde for that, while Zim did likewise for the insult to his General. Dib, meanwhile, looked around in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? Does no one here notice that we have two aliens and a Sasquatch standing right here?!" he exclaimed. At this, all eyes in the room turned to the group, with Zim nervously sweating.

"Um... ignore the large-headed Dib! I and my family are clearly normal Earth human worm-babies like everyone else!" he declared with a large grin.

"Um, yes... I am no alien from outer space," Starfire chimed in with her own forced grin.

"I'm really a Bigfoot, though," Mammoth chimed in with a scowl.

 That got blinks as everyone looked at him in confusion, before Kitten gave an annoyed sigh.

"Ignore the hairy freak, it's just a thing he's doing to try and get out of school," she said, everyone nodding in acceptance of that.

"That tracks."

"Kids today will do anything to get out of school."

"Yeah, my own son said he needed to get a rabies shot because a green dog bit him, heh can you imagine~"

"Oh come on!" Was the shared tandem cry of Mammoth and Dib as people turned away, focusing back to their previous conversations, causing Zim to let out a laugh.

"Hehehe, you see Dib-Stink~ Everyone knows you speak nothing but crazy nonsense," the disguised alien said, giving a scoff, "Big feet and aliens, nothing but fairy tales~" He added with a taunting smirk as Dib glared.

"I really hate you," he growled, before turning his glare at Starfire, "And you! I should have known that you were plotting with him the whole time!"

"I was not doing the plotting when we first met," Starfire admitted with a shrug, "However, I realized that I owe Zim for saving me from Trogaar, so I shall repay my debt by helping him complete his mission on this planet."

 "Not if I can help it!" Dib declared glaring defiantly.

"Right, because you can do so much against the two of them," Gaz said dryly.

"Whose side on you on?" Dib asked his sister incredulously.

"Mine. You think I'm stupid enough to get involved directly in this nonsense?" Gaz grunted back at him.

 "But they're planning to destroy us all! Am I the only one who can see that!" Dib exclaimed out

"Meh, he doesn't seem like he could actually pull it off," Gaz said with a shrug, which immediately wiped the smug look off of Zim's face.

"How dare you, Dib-Sister?! Zim is perfectly capable of destroying Earth!" Zim proclaimed, only to cough as he noticed people still looking at him, "I mean, that's what Zim would say if he wasn't a perfectly normal human worm-baby, which I am."

 "Starting to see why you hang out with him," Kitten spoke up, sending Starfire a dry look, "You both are freaks.."

 "And you are an irritating nakkur feyla," Starfire spat, glaring at the blonde, who glared back at her.

"I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure you just gave me another reason to hate your freak ass," Kitten snarled.

 "As if I care for the opinion of the brat of the spoiled," Starfire said with a huff.

 She and Kitten glared at each other, onlookers almost able to swear that there were angry sparks shooting between their eyes.

"...I'm starting to wish I'd brought some popcorn~" Gaz said with a smirk as she and the others looked on at the two arguing girls.

 "Yes, this is oddly captivating..." Zim agreed, finding his General arguing with the Earth monkey who had a rather annoying voice, and displaying her clear superiority between them, oddly alluring.

"What's your game, Zim?"

Before scowling as an even more annoying voice reached his antennae.

"Game? Zim has no idea what you mean," Zim put on an expression of faux innocence, "Zim is simply here to enjoy a night with his family."

 "You mean those shoddy robots?" Dib scoffed, gesturing to the Robo-Parents, which were twitching slightly with sparks of electricity, "You can't except those to fool anybody!"

"You might need better proof than that, Dib," Gaz said, rolling her eyes, "After all, Gizmo was raised by robot parents too, remember?"

"Yeah, but he's not pretending those things are human," Dib commented, looking to the other side of the room, where a short bald child in a dark green jumpsuit and goggles was leaning bored against a wall, flanked by two bulky vaguely-humanoid robots with computer screens for heads, which were depicting generic male and female faces.

This comment caught both Zim and Starfire's attention, the former blinking in surprise, while the latter turned her attention away from Kitten (much to her annoyance at being ignore).

"The young one was raised by robots?" she questioned with surprise and confusion, as humans being raised by robots certainly never came up in either her or Zim's research on human family units. If it had, then they might have been honest about the decoys being robots.

"Yeah, apparently someone in the city government decided that the orphanages and foster homes were too overcrowded, so they authorized the creation of parental robots to take care of the kids not getting adopted," Gaz explained with a shrug.

"I see," Zim commented in annoyance. After all, while his Robo-Parents were perfect decoys (after all, they were made by Zim!), it would have simplified matters if he'd known that he could just admit that they were robots! Now, changing his cover story would not only be a sign of weakness (and Zim was not weak!) but it could risk making the pig-smelly humans suspicious, and unravel the rest of his brilliant cover! Especially with the Dib-Stink waiting to exploit any opportunity to expose Zim's glorious true self to the inferior human warm-babies.

"Well, I for one am glad to have the joy of being raised by two normal flesh and blood human Earth-Monkeys," Zim added on with a forced grin and slight twitching eye, "It really makes Zim appreciate, um... family, yes, the family that Zim has."

The Irken said with a cough, "Now if you excuse Zim, he must mingle with the Earth-Monkeys along with his normal human parents and his Gen... ahh, Starfire!" he said, stumbling a bit and almost calling Starfire his General.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, I suppose we should be doing the circling of the room," Starfire said, turning her back on Kitten to follow Zim, something that the blonde clearly didn't like.

"Hey! Don't turn your back on me, you freak, I'm not done talking to you!" she snapped.

"Perhaps, but I am done speaking to you. I have more important matters to see to," Starfire huffed over her shoulder, not dignifying the brat of the spoiled with a full look.

"I... you... you..." Kitten let out a low angry growl, "Oh, this isn't over bitch!" she said with a slight snarl, before smirking, "After all, if you're really hanging out with a freak like that, then this just might be what I need to bring you down at HIVE~"

She added, rubbing her hands together with a scheming look.

"You know we can all hear you, right?" Before scowling as Mammoth spoke up, with her glancing toward him, Grundy, Dib, and Gaz, "And pretty sure talking to yourself is one of the first signs of someone going crazy." Mammoth added with a smirk, with Kitten giving him a glare.

"Like I care about the opinion of an overgrown hairy toddler," Kitten said with a huff, causing Mammoth to frown as he pulled at the child leash he was attached to, "Now, if you freaks and weirdos will excuse me, someone who's actually popular, important, and pretty has a pecking order to establish, and some humiliation to dish out."

She added as she walked off with an arrogant sneer.

"Well, she's certainly Jessica's sister," Dib said dryly, his mind going to his popular classmate and her attitude before shaking his head, "But this isn't good!" He said with a stressed out expression, "I thought Zim alone was a bad enough threat to Earth, with Starfire on his side, he's got some actual competent dangerous muscle to back him up!"

He gave a frustrated groan at this. And he was still working on making something to help him in a fight with that staff and all the other pieces of alien technology he'd managed to scavenge from that blown up Gordanian ship.

And he was so glad he'd reported everything that happened to the Swollen Eyeball Network, since other people were also scavenging without realizing what they were dealing with, and that had already been leading to some chaos. Nothing too serious, like people going on intentional destructive rampages or something like that. But the fact was that people were picking up pieces of advanced alien technology just because they thought looked cool, without realizing how dangerous they were, and accidentally using them. Dib had been hearing stories for weeks of people blowing things up, or setting people on fire, or even activating jetpacks that sent them flying into buildings!

Why Gordanians would have jetpacks when they could fly under their own power, Dib had no idea, but there were at least five of the things that had popped up in the city so far.

In any case, Dib had gotten his hands on some other pieces of tech himself, aside from that staff. But it was taking so long to reverse-engineer them and figure out how to use them that none of it was useful to him yet. And admittedly, he'd been putting it on the back burner a bit, focusing his efforts in counteracting Zim's plans or exposing him, believing that without Starfire in the equation, he could maybe handle this particular egomaniac of an alien invader, and he hadn't been doing too bad so far.

That had to change after tonight, though; he had to redouble his efforts to reverse-engineer something he could use, especially if Zim used Starfire in whatever scheme he cooked up next. Because being honest, he didn't like his chances of taking Starfire alone in a fight without some kinda edge.

Though at that that thought, his eyes went over to Grundy and Mammoth. He knew his reanimated "brother" was strong... but asking for help there would probably lead to him telling Dad, he thought, his eyes going to the floating screen floating over Grundy's head, which was supposed to have his dad on there live from his lab, but he hadn't signed in yet. And besides that factor, Grundy, who believed everything their dad said as a fact of life, thought aliens were just silly fairy tales.

While the Bigfoot... hmmm, maybe.

"Hey, Bigfoot..." Dib looked toward Mammoth, who looked annoyed but shot him a curious look.

"Name's Mammoth," he said, crossing his arms.

"Mammoth... don't suppose you'd be interested in helping me fight against an alien invasion?" Dib questioned with a frown, because Bigfoot or not, at least Mammoth was a native to Earth, and if that tackle he took last time during the belt sander incident was any indication, he was pretty strong too.

"Hehe, Grundy's little brother still being silly~ Aliens don't exist~" And at his question, Grundy beside Mammoth let out a laugh.

"Did you not see just see the orange girl and weird green kid who were here a minute ago?" Mammoth asked, looking to the zombie in disbelief.

"Orange girl just really tan. And green boy have skin condition," Grundy replied with a shrug.

"A skin condition that makes him not have ears or a nose?" Mammoth said incredulously, while Dib just sighed.

"Why is it that the only person who notices how obviously bad Zim's disguise is happens to be a Bigfoot?" he muttered in annoyance.

 "I'm personally wondering when every human got so dumb," Mammoth said with a frustrated groan, rubbing his face, "Skin condition, tan, calling me hairy teenager or gorilla... what is wrong with everyone?"

 "I personally blame all the pollution in the air and drinking water rotting everyone's brains," Gaz commented with a shrug, before turning and walking away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Dib called after her.

"I've had about enough of this nonsense for one night," Gaz replied, "If you want to waste our time here trying to expose that green idiot and his orange girlfriend, go ahead. I'll stick to the snack table and watch everyone's parents embarrass them."

 Though the moment she said that, the floating screen above them activated.

"I'm here, children, sorry about the delay, had a slight incident with an escaped lab mouse," spoke the form of Professor Membrane on the monitor, "Turns out that injecting them with that new muscle enhancement formula I've been working on had some side effects."

 "It broke all my bones!" a voice called out in pain from somewhere behind the Professor.

"Just let the Auto-Doctor patch you up, Simmons, you'll be walking again in less than a month!" the Professor shouted back, before returning his attention to his children, "So, shall we begin this mandatory meeting with your teachers about your education?"

Gaz groaned; she'd actually been hoping her dad wouldn't check in, so she could avoid having him interact with her teacher. Not that she was in trouble or anything, she just found her dad's obliviousness and Mr. Elliot's cheerfulness to be an annoying combination.

 "Hey Gaz..." And what's worse-

"Ah, look Gaz, it's your little boyfriend."

-was that instead of enjoying other kids being embarrassed by their parents, she got to take part.

"For the last time, he's my friend, not my boyfriend," Gaz grunted as Gizmo approached with his robotic parents.

"Yeah, obviously I'm too cool for her~" Gizmo chuckled, making her Gaz roll her eyes.

"Right, you're so cool that's why you don't have any other friends," she scoffed.

"Could say the same about you," Gizmo retorted.

"Yeah, but that's just because everyone's too intimidated by me."

 And as the byplay continued, Dib not for the first time gave the two a confused look. Even now, it still amazed and confused him that Gaz actually did have one friend. Granted, a friend raised by robots, and one he could easily see growing up to be some kinda mad scientist or supervillain with some of the stunts he's pulled, but a friend nonetheless. And sure, their friendship was mostly just based on video games and snark, the things that Gaz excelled at and would enjoy finding a match at. But still, he'd long since accepted that his sister was pretty misanthropic, so the idea of her forming a bond with anyone was just shocking.

As Dib pondered this, and Gaz bantered with Gizmo, Professor Membrane finally noticed Grundy's presence.

"Oh, hello Grundy, thank you for making it," he greeted, before noticing Mammoth as well, "Who's this?"

"Hello, Daddy! This is hairy boy from HIVE that Grundy is watching for Headmaster," Grundy greeted and explained.

"Hmm, you seem to have quite the hormone imbalance, young man," the Professor said, looking Mammoth over, "I can help you with that, if you'd like."

"No, because it's not hormones, I'm a Bigfoot!" Mammoth snapped, eye twitching as the world's so-called smartest man also somehow mistook him for a hairy teenager.

"My, what an active imagination," the Professor chuckled, "I suppose next you'll say that you're the one Dib saw in our garage?"

"He is!" Dib exclaimed, head snapping around as he registered his father and the Sasquatch speaking with each other, "He tackled me like a pro football player, I had to wear a neck cast for like a week!" He added on, with Mammoth giving a frown.

"Hey, I did give you a chance to get out of the way, not my fault you had to be a moron," he grunted, with Dib sending him a glare for that comment while Membrane simply chuckled.

"Ah, kids with their roughhousing and their overactive imaginations~" the Professor said, shaking his head, "But as wonderful as it is to see you making friends, Dib, I would like to know more about your education, and standing with peers your own age," He remarked, before the monitor turned and floated off toward the direction of Miss Bitters.

"But... but..." Dib stammered as Mammoth sighed.

"Forget it... as much as I'd like everyone to accept me for the Bigfoot I am... it's just not worth the headache tonight," he said with a grunt, "And to answer your earlier question, unless there's something in it for me, i've got no interest playing rebel against some space freaks."

"Seriously?" Dib asked with a scowl, "I know you're not human, but you're still a person of Earth! Shouldn't you care that some aliens are trying to conquer it?"

"Eh, they can't do a worse job of things than you humans have been doing," Mammoth replied with a shrug, "I mean, the fact the ones in charge are morons or power hungry loons aside, you jerks have polluted nature so much, most animals you find are mutated in one form or another. I mean, do you have any idea what it's like when a moose with razor sharp teeth and green glowing eyes wakes you up in the middle of trying to eat you!? It ain't pleasant!"

Dib blinked at that statement, not sure how to respond to it, before being snapped out of it as Gaz slapped him upside the back of the head.

"Hey moron, let's go," she ordered, before reluctantly following after her father, Gizmo and his robot parents following for lack of anything else to do.

"This is going to be a long night..." Dib gave a low sigh, already knowing he had to be on guard and ready to jump at any chance to expose Zim and his girlfriend.

 (Elsewhere in the room)

As the students, their parents, and the teachers mingled, Brian and Chunk stood together in one corner.

"So, how long you figure until someone makes some kinda scene?" Brian asked his friend.

"I dunno, usually someone ends up freaking out over their embarrassing parents or someone's parents get mad at them for bad reviews from a teacher," Chunk shrugged, before snorting, "Plus, you just know that Zim and Dib will probably get into a screaming match or something."

 "Yeah, honestly if Zim wasn't such a freaky weirdo, I'd almost feel sorry for however much Dib is harassing him," Brian said with an eye roll.

"Yeah, honestly at this point I'm wondering if the weirdos have a crush on each other," Chunk jabbed, giving a laugh.

"Urg... don't even joke. Nothing against that kinda thing... but Zim and Dib... urg," Brian just gave him a sickened expression.

"Hehe, well not like anyone else will give those crazies the time of day~" Chunk said with a smirk, before his eyes caught a figure across the room, and his jaw dropped.

"Dude... dude?" Brian looked confused, before looking across the room and his eyes widened, and he asked in awe, "Who... is... that?"

"I don't know... but that has to be the hottest girl I've ever seen," Chunk said with a similar tone.

Both of them were staring at Starfire, who was walking through the room and looking around curiously. And as far as both boys could see things, it was like she was moving in slow motion, backlit and with sparkles surrounding her.

"You think we should... go say hi?" Brian asked nervously.

"Yeah... you know... just to be friendly," Chunk said, brushing his hair back and brushing nonexistent dust off his shirt, before giving his best confidant grin, "Just let me take the lead."

"You? Why not me?" Brian asked with a frown.

"Because I got you beat in both confidence and muscles," Chunk said with a smug smirk to his friend. Brian scowled at that, but also knew that now wasn't the time to argue about it.

"Fine, whatever," he said, gesturing for Chunk to lead the way, following after him as they walked towards Starfire.

"I must admit... this room for feasting is much more dirty than the one at the HIVE," Starfire remarked to herself, giving a frown as she saw what seemed like a smaller version of the Slaughtering Rat People of Blorch scurrying along the ground, "And the presence of the Gordanian does not help."

She added with a wary distrustful glare toward the corner of the room, where Stuart the Gordanian janitor was mopping up some vomit from a child that had gotten sick. He paused and looked up in her direction as he sensed her looking at him. He gave a nervous smile and wave, only to flinch when she glared at him, and quickly went back to work.

Oh, she wanted to go over there and kick him off the planet, but she didn't want to risk exposing Zim, so she swallowed her anger and decided to ignore the foul noodar. Perhaps it would help if she found something else to focus on... but before she could wonder what, Chunk approached from behind and addressed her.

"Hey beautiful, did it hurt?"

Prompting a confused blink and look from Starfire as she turned to see Chunk shooting a cocky smirk and finger guns.

"When you fell from Heaven, I mean," he said in what he believed was a smooth tone, while Brian standing a few feet behind him facepalmed.

Seriously, that's his opener? One of the oldest cliched lines in flirting! Brian thought in disbelief, shaking his head.

 For her part, Starfire just stared at the boy who had just addressed her such. Why would he ask her that? Wait, fell from the heavens...? Oh no, did he know that she was not human?!

"Aha, I do not know what you mean!" she said quickly with a nervous laugh, "I did not fall out of the sky, for I am most certainly not a being from another world!"

 This comment prompted strange looks from Brian and Chunk, before the latter let out a laugh.

"Heh, yeah, that'd just be crazy," He said with a smirk, but arching a brow, "Though don't tell me you've met Dib, and big head's accusing you of being an alien because of your tan."

He punched a fist into his palm, "Because if he is, I'll gladly sort him out for a pretty thing like you."

 "Oh, that is not necessary, I am fully capable of handling that zor'duni on my own," Starfire replied offhandedly, the boys blinking in confusion at the foreign word.

"Zor what now?" Brian asked Chunk, who just shrugged.

"Er, okay, glad to hear that," the larger boy said, before putting his attempted suave look back on, "Anyway, what brings a lovely beauty like you to a dump like this?"

 "Oh, I am attending with Zim and his parents," Starfire said, giving a smile as she used the cover story, unknowingly sending Brian and Chunk into shock.

"ZIM?!" They exclaimed in shock.

"How the heck does someone like you, know someone like Zim?!" Brian questioned with shock, stepping into the conversation as he stepped up beside his friend, attracting a surprised blink from Starfire.

"You cousins or something?" Chunk questioned a bit desperately, because there was no other reason a babe like this would be hanging out with that crazy green weirdo... right? He thought, clinging to that desperate hope, unaware that some of the eyes and ears in the lunchroom were turning to their conversation after he and Brian had yelled out Zim's name.

"I owe him a life debt, that as such my life is his now..." Starfire responded with a frown.

"Your life is... his?" Chunk repeated incredulously, looking at each other in disbelief as they both interpreted that wording in the same way.

"So, you two are... together?" Brian asked, unable to believe that Zim could possibly be dating a girl this hot!

"Um, yes..." Starfire said with a blink, misunderstanding the meaning of the question, but yes, Zim and her were living and working together, "His family is even hosting me as I stay here in Doomsville, away from my native land of Tamaran."

"Oh, that's so not fair," Brian whined, he and Chunk slumping in despair.

"Why would you even want to be with that weirdo?" Chunk demanded, looking at Starfire desperately, causing her to scowl.

"Zim is no weirdo! He is a passionate warrior!" Starfire found herself retorting defensively, finding herself feeling quite upset at Zim's behalf for all those that kept insulting him, especially after realizing what a lonely life he likely lead as part of the Irken Empire.

For their part, the boys only heard the word "passionate", and both grimaced at the images that popped into their heads. Before they could react, however, another voice cut in.

"Yes, Zim is indeed mighty!" Zim declared smugly as he stomped over, before glaring at his classmates, "Are these two bothering you?"

 "Oh, not at all my mighty Zar'pyak," Starfire smiled at Zim's presence, with Brian and Chunk choking on their spit, "I was simply getting to know your mates of the school," she said as Zim gave a hum.

"Well, as long as you aren't being bothered too much by your inferiors, Zim supposes it's okay," the Irken muttered in thought, since Starfire gaining the trust of some of the Earth-smelly smeets could be useful; he'd had his own fill with cultivating human interaction after Keef, and he had to be on guard with Dib around as is, so attempting to obtain another human pawn through "friendship" would only give the big-headed annoyance an opening to exploit. But using his General's natural charisma to make the Earth-Monkeys flock to her without having to bother dealing with them himself, he could manipulate them all through his General, it's brilliant!

 "Ah, yeah, we were just getting to know your... friend," Chunk muttered angrily, glaring at the ridiculously-lucky green bean, who just glared back at him for daring to look at him like that.

Sensing the tension rising, Brian decided to defuse it before anyone started a fight and got them sent to detention.

"So! How did you two meet?" he asked quickly, getting everyone's attention. Zim, however, didn't notice as he gave a smug smile, eager to share tales of his amazing Zimness!

"Oh, it was quite an adventure, that had Zim going to the Tamaran Islands and saving Zim's, uh..." he stumbled, knowing that he couldn't call Starfire a General... perhaps referring to her great skill as a combatant would attract less notice, "Mighty warrior... from a fearsome lizard beast," he said with a slight cough.

"Lizard beast?" Chunk sneered, "That sounds like something Dib would make up."

"I assure you, the beast was quite real, and commanded a horde of other such disgusting beasts," Starfire said, adding the last bit with a glare in Stuart's direction as he walked by, causing the Gordanian to flinch.

"Disgusting's kinda harsh..." Stuart muttered with an actual hurt expression, though nervously stepped back, internally hoping the Tamaranean wouldn't decide to attack him. It was bad enough the Irken had decided to surprise attack him in the janitor closet, demanding that he spill his guts to Zim, which had certainly been traumatizing to say the least... especially since he hadn't been entirely sure that the Irken wasn't being literal about that, he thought with a shudder as he walked away.

Starfire watched him go for a moment, before scoffing and turning back to the confused Brian and Chunk.

"In any case, as said, I was attacked by such a beast, and Zim nobly saved me," she said, giving Zim a smile that made his face feel warm for some reason.

"Yes, the lizard and all the slime beasts that followed it was no match before Zim!" Zim proclaimed with a large grin, feeling quite happy to share this tale of his victory, even leaving out his full glory to keep his cover, as well as Starfire's open gratitude and smile in turn making Zim feel good... probably because she in turn is basking in Zim's presence, he reasoned as Starfire added in, "And following that, my life became his."

"That's... great," Brian grumbled, the way that these two were looking at each other making it clear how they felt about each other (not realizing that neither of the pair in question realized how they were staring longingly at each other), which he was not happy about.

"Yeah, great," Chunk muttered in the same tone, suddenly wanting to end this conversation, "Well, we wanted to say hi and we did, so... I guess we'll just go be somewhere else now."

"Eh, yes, yes go off and do whatever it is you, um, do, my classmates," Zim blinked and shook his head, "There will be other opportunities to bask in Zim's greatness, and hear tales of his grand deeds," he said with a smug smirk as Starfire let out a giggle.

"Right... come on, Brian," Chunk said, leading his friend away from the couple. Once they were out of earshot, he scowled and spat, "Can you believe this crap?!"

"I know, right?" Brian exclaimed in disbelief, "Never mind the idea of Zim dating a girl that hot, but that almost sounded like they're engaged or something!"

"Must be some weird foreign thing where they arrange marriages years in advance or something," Chunk grumbled.

"If that's true, it's probably because Zim apparently saved her life," Brian said with a frown, before adding with a grumble as he kicked at the ground, "Some guys get all the luck."

"He probably just got lucky!" Chunk denied, unknowingly getting the attention of some of those nearby, "If it'd had been me, I'd have turned that lizard into a pair of boots and have that babe all over me."

"Instead, she's engaged to Zim," Brian said with disbelief in his voice.

"Excuse me? Who's engaged to the freaky weirdo?!" Demanded a voice to the side, causing them to turn to see their classmate Jessica standing beside her older sister, with even some of the other students and parents paying attention.

"That hot as hell orange babe," Chunk explained with a grumble, gesturing to where Zim and Starfire were observing the Robo-Parents' interactions with the other parents.

"What?!" Kitten exclaimed, as her sister and the rest of the crowd all blinked in surprise, "I knew that weirdo was acting weird with how highly she talked about that freak, but seriously?!"

"Apparently Zim saved her life from some lizard beast, and looks like he got one hell of a reward for it." Brian added with a jealous frown.

"Lizard beast? That sounds like something Dib would say," Jessica sneered.

"That's what I said," Chunk grumbled, shaking his head, "But she confirmed it, and I don't know why they'd bother to make it up, so I guess it's real."

"Well, this Tamaran place sounds like some exotic island place," Brian said with a frown, "So I suppose some dangerous exotic animals existing there isn't a stretch."

"Yeah, I've heard Australia has spiders as big as people's heads," said Jessica's friend Letty.

"Okay, but all that aside... engaged?!" Kitten yelled, "Even if whatever backward rock she's from allows teen marriages, that green freak is what, 12? How could they think that's okay?!"

"I mean, to be fair, just because they're engaged doesn't mean they're actually planning to get married anytime soon," another student, Aki, pointed out.

"Yeah, and we should be considerate to another people's culture," Alex said next to her, nodding with her own thoughtful frown.

"Plus, look at her," Carl gestured across the room toward Starfire, who was giggling at something Zim said, "Zim would have to be crazier than Dib, to turn down a girl like that as a wife!"

All the guys present nodded in agreement at that, smiling dumbly at the sight of Starfire, which made all the girls scowl. Especially Kitten, who glared at her rival.

"She's not that pretty," she spat.

"Yes she is, that's why this isn't fair at all," Brian grumbled, "I mean, what next? Is Dib going to start dating a supermodel?"

There was a moment of silence at that, and then everyone present burst out laughing at the mere suggestion.

"Pfff, oooh man, that's a good one!" Torque cried out, holding his sides.

"Heheh, yeah, like Dib would get that lucky!" Jessica said amidst her own laughter.

"Hehehe, yeah, who'd be that desperate?!" Aki added, laughing madly.

"Hehehe, if it had been him instead of Zim, Starfire would have probably jumped into that lizard's mouth~" Chunk added with his own laugh, wiping a tear from his eye, because Zim was one thing, but Dib?! Yeah, not happening.

"Heehee, yeah... still, pretty weird, though," Brian said, shooting another look at the couple.

"Ugh, yeah it is," Jessica said, shaking her head, "Everyone want to just pretend we don't know this about them so that we don't have to think about it?"

There was a general consensus of "yes" from everyone at that.

"You can ignore it if you want, but once I spread this gossip across HIVE, that upstart will finally be put in her place!" Kitten said with a dark smirk.

 Everyone gave her confused looks at that, except for Jessica, who just sighed.

"You really need to let this go, sis," she said, shaking her head, "Honestly, it sounds like you trying to knock her down a peg is causing you more trouble than it's doing you any good."

 "Forget it," Kitten shot her sister an annoyed glare, "I'm not giving up, or letting that freak walk in and take my rightful spot as the prettiest and most popular girl in school!"

"Don't most of the other students hate you, though?" Jessica pointed out.

"That's just because they're all jealous of how much better I am than them!" Kitten snapped.

"Ask me, they're not the jealous ones here," Brian said to Chunk in a low mutter as his friend let out a chuckle.

"What was that, you brats?!" Demanded Kitten with a glower.

"I said, uh... hey look, Dib's going over to Zim!" Brian said quickly, pointing over to where Dib was indeed leading his father's vid-screen towards Zim and Starfire, with the rest of his group (including the tag-along Gizmo and his robot parents) reluctantly following behind.

"Oh boy, we get to watch Big Head embarrass himself again!" Chunk said, in part honestly excited for the humor of the situation, but mostly just trying to distract Kitten.

"Urg, you think he'd give it a break," Jessica said with a scowl.

"You kidding? He's like a dog with a guitar, he just doesn't quit," Torque said with a nod.

"Yeah, he's like... wait, what?" Jessica and the others gave Torque a strange look at that comparison.

"Saw a green dog playing guitar at the music store the other day," And at their looks he just shrugged, "Little guy could certainly rock out."

Everyone just stared at him for a moment, before all quietly agreeing to ignore him, turning back to Zim and Starfire just as Dib reached them.

"Hey Dad, this is Zim. You know, the alien invader I told you about?" Dib said, sneering at Zim, who glared back at him, before pointing to Starfire, "And this is Starfire, the other alien who's working with him!"

"And what country are the little green boy and very tanned girl from?" Only to have his face fall at his dad's reply as the monitor floated over.

"I am from the Tamaran islands, and Zim is from Irk," Starfire answered with a smile.

"Oh come on, there's no place on Earth with those names," Dib snapped.

"They exist! Only the map keeps changing so much in the region of the planet you can find Irk, it doesn't get its proper glory and recognition," Zim snapped back, glaring.

"As for Tamaran..." Zim glanced over to Starfire, who let out a sigh, "I'm afraid many view my people as savages, and our homeland not worth the effort of putting on the map."

She said with a huff, while channeling her genuine outrage to how so many in the universe view her race as troqs.

Dib blinked at that, not sure how to respond to that, while behind him Gaz arched an eyebrow, impressed that Zim had actually come up with a passable cover story. Huh, the orange chick might actually be having a noticeable effect on him after all.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that," Professor Membrane said compassionately with a nod of his head, "I hope that you've at least adjusted well to life here in America."

"Oh yes, it is most wonderful here... for the most part," Starfire replied, briefly thinking of the many unpleasant things she'd witnessed since arriving on Earth.

"Though I must admit i am most confused about Professor Mod's lessons toward the country," Starfire said with a frown, "I understand that the British Empire is the superior because they have a ruling family, but if life was so great under their rule why did the America colonies do the rebelling?"

"Sounds like personal nationalist bias to me," the Professor shrugged, while everyone else just stared as they processed what Starfire had just said.

"What kind of crazy teachers do you have at that school?" Gizmo asked in disbelief.

"You have no idea," Mammoth grumbled, shooting a glare at Grundy, who didn't seem to notice, before adding with a grunt, "I mean, I'm pretty sure that Crane creep's been using some of the students as lab rats for that fear formula he keeps yapping about."

"Oh, don't tell me that man still hasn't let that go," groaned Professor Membrane, rubbing his face, "Honestly, you make one joke about how he should consider becoming a therapist over a scientist because of his obsession with fear, and next thing you know your college roommate goes on a crazy rant about how I'll rue the day I mocked his work, and that all will experience the power of fear."

"Yes, that does sound like him," Starfire nodded sagely, while Zim made a mental note of the phrase "fear formula"; that could be something to pursue for use against the humans.

"To be fair, it's not like HIVE's the only place with weird teachers," Gaz commented, gesturing to where Miss Bitters was ranting to a group of adults about how they'd all grown up to be useless wastes of flesh and their children would be too, "I hear rumors that they didn't hire her, she's always been here and they just built the Skool around her."

"Grundy think teacher lady scary," Grundy said, giving a shiver as he glanced over at Bitters.

"You and everyone else," Dib muttered, giving his teacher a wary look. Part of him still wasn't sure if Bitters was just a VERY cranky old lady, or some inhuman abomination... and honestly this was one particular mystery he was afraid to learn the answer to, never mind expose.

 "Eh, she's not that bad," Gaz shrugged.

"Of course you'd say that," Gizmo scoffed, "She's basically what you'll be like in a few decades."

"You say that like it's a bad thing~" Gaz replied with a smirk, which caused Gizmo to flush and give a slight smile as he looked away, with Mammoth arching a brow before giving a snort; kids and their crushes.

 Before anyone could say anything else, there was a sudden THUD as the doors to the cafeteria were dramatically kicked open. Everyone turned to face them, and found Bill standing there, leg still raised from the kick, and Zita standing next to him, facepalming in embarrassment.

"Hi, sorry we're late," she said into the awkward silence that followed, "My mom had to cancel at the last minute because of something at work, and got my uncle here to fill in for her, so... yay for me."

As Zita grumbled to herself at that, Bill scanned the room on instinct, and froze as he spotted Starfire and Mammoth, who likewise froze at the sight of him.

"You!" he exclaimed.

"You?!" Starfire repeated in disbelief.

"Oh, not this nutjob again!" Mammoth groaned, facepalming.

"You know this guy?" Gizmo asked, looking curiously at him.

"Weirdo kept calling me a mutant gorilla minion of Count Cocofang," Mammoth said with a grunt as Starfire nodded, while those around them blinked.

"He was most rude," she said with a frown, recalling how he called the sewer children ugly mole people.

"I see that the alien menace and the gorilla beast are targeting my niece's school now!" declared Bill dramatically with a scowl as he kept his finger pointed at them.

"Wait? You know they're aliens?!" Dib exclaimed with a hopeful wide grin that caused Zita to groan in despair at her greatest nightmare of her uncle and Dib meeting coming true.

"Uncle Bill, please, you promised you wouldn't embarrass me!" She pleaded towards Bill, desperately hoping to salvage her reputation.

"How am I embarrassing you by revealing the monsters who are trying to conquer the world through their cereal conspiracy?" Bill asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"...Cereal conspiracy?" Dib echoed, his hope at this turn of events suddenly taking a downturn.

"Yes, the mind-control cereal that that undead menace Count Cocofang uses to brainwash everyone into his obedient slaves," Bill replied in all seriousness, leading to a long, awkward moment of silence. Finally, it was broken by a snort from Gaz.

"If Miss Bitters is what I'll be as an adult, this guy is you~" she said teasingly to Dib, who looked very crestfallen.

"I... you... you can't be serious," Dib stuttered in disbelief, with Zita unsure to whether be relieved or mortified that even Dib thought her uncle was crazy, "I... can you at least see the alien right here?! Right in front of you?!"

Dib asked, gesturing toward Zim, who suddenly looked a bit worried, because cereal conspiracy craziness or not... Dib would take whatever he could get to expose Zim!

"Of course I see her," Bill said, glaring at Starfire, "She may have that ingenious disguise on, but I've seen her without it, so it won't fool me again!"

"Ingenious disguise?! She's wearing glasses and a different hairdo!" Dib protested, "And I didn't even mean her, I meant Zim! You know, the guy with green skin?!"

"Yes, clearly a result of all the fluoride that the government's been flooding into our drinking water to dull our minds so that we won't realize how they've sold us out to Cocofang in exchange for chocolate-coated immortality," Bill said, nodding sagely, while Zita just groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"...I think I can feel my IQ dropping just listening to this guy," Gizmo said flatly, while Dib's jaw dropped and one of his eyes started twitching.

"I... you... you... can't be serious!" Dib exclaimed in frustration, "Zim's an alien! It isn't a skin condition or a side effect of fluoride in drinking water! He's an alien here to conquer Earth!" He said, stomping his foot, "Starfire his General! They met after they blew up that alien ship a few weeks ago! The janitor's one too! He was part of that ship's crew!"

 Stuart froze in the middle of removing a trash bag from its can at that, everyone turning to stare at him.

"Who, me?" he asked nervously, "I'm not an alien! I'm just a humble janitor from, uh, Sweden!"

"Sweden, huh? Describe one thing about it!" Dib challenged, glaring at the space lizard.

"Uh, it's... cold?" Stuart offered awkwardly, sighing in relief when the crowd all nodded along.

"Yeah, that tracks."

"I don't think it's ever warm in Sweden."

"Isn't it part of Alaska?"

 "Were humans always this stupid, or did someone drug the water supply recently?" Mammoth asked himself out loud with a slight dumbfounded blink.

"Eh, personally only person I know besides me with brains and common sense is Gaz," Gizmo said with a grunt and a shrug.

 Gaz smirked at that, choosing to focus on the ego-stroking caused by that comment, and not the weird warmth that it caused in her cheeks. It was an annoying feeling that happened a lot around Gizmo, but she didn't want to acknowledge it and what it might mean, so as usual she shoved it aside.

Dib, meanwhile, looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, while Professor Membrane just sighed.

"Ah, my poor insane son," he said, shaking his head. He thought an interest in space would lead to an interest in science, not sci-fi nonsense, and this man claiming of all things a cereal conspiracy was starting to make him very worried for how Dib might turn out in the future.

 "Really, where did I go wrong?" he asked himself as his son started to argue with the older crazy man about the green foreign boy being an alien.

"Not Daddy's fault, Daddy busy with work," Grundy said with a grunt, trying to help his father feel better.

"Hmm... I admit that I've always given the children more free rein with a hands off approach to parenting," the Professor muttered aloud.

"That explains a lot," muttered the form of Chunk's father with a grunt.

"Yeah, my daughter's told me horror stories about Membrane's girl, and everyone knows that the son is destined for the crazy house," said Letty's mother with a huff.

While Gaz scowled at the insult towards her, and Dib continued arguing with Bill, the Professor frowned in thought. Obviously, he knew about the reputation that Dib had made for himself, and it sounded like Gaz wasn't exactly well-adjusted herself... hmm, it did seem like he'd been making some large oversights in his family unit setup.

He'd definitely have to give this some serious consideration, he decided.

"I'm telling you, Zim's an alien! Starfire works for him! Why else would she be hanging out with him?!" Dib exclaimed.

"Apparently according to the rumor mill, they're engaged," Gizmo said with a shrug as Zim, having been listening off to the side watching Dib-Monkey's frustration, suddenly choked and spit out some punch he was distractedly trying.

"W-what?! Who told you that?!" he demanded, face flushing.

"So, it's true?" Gizmo asked, arching a brow.

"Zim did not say that! He just demands to know where you heard such a thing!" Zim yelled, while Starfire just blinked in confusion.

"Apparently Chunk and Brian heard from your girl herself," Gizmo answered with a shrug, "Something about how you saving her from a lizard monster meant her life belongs to you in some kinda tribal engagement tradition or something."

He said, attracting disbelieving looks.

"I... wait..." Dib paused in his argument, with Zita's uncle as he blinked and gave Starfire an incredulous look, "Is that an actual thing for your people?! Are you seriously engaged with Zim?!" He asked in shock, because that sounded like something out of some crazy romance novel.

"Ah, um, well..." Starfire stammered with burning cheeks, starting to catch onto what was being said and what she'd apparently implied, "That is... yes, I'm bound to him as required by honor for saving me, but-"

"See? Engaged," Gizmo cut her off with a shrug, the crowd around them murmuring.

"Egads, it's worse than I thought!" Bill at this information let out a dramatic gasp, "They're trying to seduce and brainwash our youth in an attempt to breed us out!" He yelled dramatically, pointing at Starfire with Zita groaning and facepalming.

"My social life is over," she whimpered as everyone looked at Bill.

"Heh, if aliens are as good looking at that, then they can enslave my planet any time," Chunk whispered to Brian with a smirk. The two of them chuckled crassly at that, making many of those surrounding them roll their eyes. But Bill ignored them all, grabbing Zim by the shoulders.

"Don't worry, young man, I can save you!" he declared, "Just think about corn! Aliens are allergic to it, so thinking of it breaks their control over you!"

"Where are you getting this from?" Dib demanded incredulously, while Zim smacked Bill's hand away.

"Do not touch Zim, worm-baby! You smell like stale coffee and loneliness!" the Irken yelled.

"Yeah... that's my uncle in a nutshell," Zita said with a sigh, looking down at the ground, "Emphasis on nut."

"You have my utmost pity," Gizmo told her bluntly yet genuinely; his parents might be robots, but it was better than being related to a loon.

"If it helps, everybody's got relatives that they're embarrassed by," Mammoth said with a grunt, thinking about his great-uncle Joe and his insistence on running around naked in the woods to "get back to our people's roots". And since he kept getting caught on video while doing it, now the whole world thought Sasquatches were all dumb naked animals! It was beyond embarrassing for everyone! At least cousin Abominable wore a big fluffy coat and had an excuse of being an introvert shy around people, so he never stuck around any hikers that saw him.

 As he was pondering this, Zita took in what he and Gizmo had said, and sighed deeply.

"Thanks, I appreciate that," she said with a genuine smile.

And she really did. With all the embarrassment and the fear of her social life dying before her eyes... it felt good to have at least some support here, she thought with a sigh as she looked back over at her uncle, while hoping this wouldn't escalate into a scene like what happened at that one sci-convention.

 "Enough of this!" Bill pulled out a pair of cuffs, "With my personal designed alien sleeper cuffs-"

Dib blinked and gave a surprised look.

"Wait, you designed those?!" He exclaimed, suddenly a lot less confident they would have worked if he'd gotten those pair on Zim.

 "Yes, I did. And now, I'm going to use them!" Bill declared, leaping at Starfire... who casually stepped aside, letting Bill fly through the empty air where she'd just been standing and into the wall behind her.

"Please do not be doing that," Starfire said flatly as Bill peeled himself off of the wall.

"Urg, that all you got?" He said with a groan, cracking his back as he stood defiantly, glaring at Starfire.

"You are most stubborn," she said with a frown as Bill smirked.

"All part of being an unsung hero," he said, entering a battle stance, "Wherever Cocofang's influence corrupts the innocent..." His shades seemed to gleam in the light, "Wherever the ignorant masses eat their chocolate-coated doom like mindless sheep..."

He pointed dramatically at Starfire, "Wherever alien women from outer space seek to abduct our young men to turn into their love slaves!" Starfire blushed at that while some of the audience choked on their spit, "I will be there protecting the Earth!" He declared defiantly to this menace and his hated enemy Count Cocofang, who he bet was always watching the shadows like the coward he was!

...

...

...

Stunned silence filled the room for several minutes before Zita let out a despairing groan.

"Please kill me..." she pleaded looking up in the air. It was official, her social life was over after tonight.

"Wow... he really is the future you, Dib," Gaz said with a wide smirk of amusement toward Dib, whose eye was twitching.

Was... was this really how other people saw him?! He was trying to prove that aliens and monsters existed so that he could protect people from them! He didn't go around yelling about breakfast food mascots trying to take over the world! If anything, guys like this nutjob were why no one took paranormal investigation seriously! So, needless to say being compared to this loon certainly made Dib frustrated.

"Hey now," But he gave a blink as Zim's so-called mom zoomed over, her neck sparking, "That's no way to talk to my future daughter-in-law," she lectured, twitching a bit, prompting a concerned look from Zim.

"Eh, er... "Mom"? Zim does not believe you should get involved," Zim tried to subtly order (and ignoring the embarrassment caused by the robot's comment). However, he was ignored as she kept talking.

"Someone should teach you some manners, young man!" Robo-Mom declared, pointing a vaguely angry finger in Bill's direction.

"Ma'am, for your son's own good, you need to back off and let me do my job," Bill said with a frown.

"Oh, come on! That is clearly a robot!" Dib yelled, throwing up his hands in exasperation, "How can you tell Starfire's an alien but not see that?!"

"First of all, don't talk to me about that fiendish initiative to brainwash orphans into mindless drones for Cocofang's puppets in the government by having them raised by pieces of junk," Bill said, holding up a finger.

"Hey! My parents are state of the art, you crud muncher! And I'm no one's drone!" Gizmo snapped with an offended look. However, Bill ignored the bald midget.

"Second, just because she has a metallic sheen due to her skin care practices doesn't make them a robot," he stated as if it was obvious, with Dib giving him a frustrated incredulous look.

"Why... why is it that the first person I meet who actually believes in the paranormal... is a totally delusional idiot?" he grumbled, gritting his teeth.

"Because the universe hates you," Gaz stated matter-of-factly.

"Very true. A+," Miss Bitters stated as she swept past.

"This isn't a class!" Dib snapped his head around to protest to his teacher, "And she's not even in your grade!"

"Doesn't matter, I say she's getting a A+, she's getting one," Bitters replied back over her shoulder, "Also, detention tomorrow for backtalk."

 "Ah, but, I..." Dib stammered, only for Grundy to poke him on the head to get his attention.

"Brother should quit before scary teacher make it worse," the zombie stated flatly. Dib opened his mouth to say something in defiance of that, before clicking it shut as it occurred to him that Miss Bitters could in fact do a lot worse than a detention, and he slumped in defeat.

"This is not my night," he muttered, turning his attention back to where Bill was arguing with the Robo-Mom, and also the Robo-Dad, who had rolled up to help his "wife" defend their "son's" apparent fiancé.

 "I think someone needs a spanking!" Declared the Robo-Dad as he grabbed Bill from behind.

"Ah? What?!" Bill demanded as he was lifted up by the back of his trench coat.

Everyone blinked and stared in confusion as the Robo-Dad bent Bill over his other arm (as he didn't have knees to use as a base), while the Robo-Mom rolled over and started hitting the man's rear with a ham that she pulled out of nowhere.

"Let this teach you a lesson, young man!" she declared as Bill yelped from each hit.

"This hurts us more than it hurts you!" the Robo-Dad added.

"Should we, uh... do something?" Mammoth asked in the awkward silence as the crowd watched in incredulous disbelief at the scene unfolding before them.

"You do whatever you want. I'm trying to will myself out of existence from pure mortification," Zita groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Is this normal human behavior?" Starfire whispered to Zim.

"Zim honestly has no idea," Zim admitted, watching his robots brutalize the adult human who acted like a taller Dib with a meat product, "But Zim is not entirely opposed to this happening. It should teach the Earth-Monkey to mess with Zim's General!"

At that Starfire had to smile, feeling a strong strange warmth for the sign of defensive care Zim might have for her.

Before she could dwell on it, however, things suddenly got a lot worse. Because it was at that moment that GIR's incidental sabotage of the Robo-Parents' reprogramming kicked in.

"Oops!" Robo-Dad declared, suddenly dropping Bill to the floor, "I got diarrhea!"

Everyone grimaced and leaned back at that.

"What?" Gaz asked with flat disgust, speaking everyone's shared thought.

"Boy, I love burritos, but they don't love me!" Robo-Dad continued, patting his nonexistent stomach.

"Here dear, let me fix those grass stains for you!" Robo-Mom said happily, before hitting her "husband" with the ham and sending him rolling backwards into the nearest wall.

"Uh... are they alright?" Brian nervously asked Zim.

"Um, of course, it's ummm, just something they ate, yes!" Zim declared, latching onto the first excuse he could think of, before running toward the parent decoys, "Mother, Father, Zim believes we should be going!" He declared, unsure what went wrong with his brilliant programming, but knew he couldn't afford the decoys to malfunction and cause any more of a scene than they already had.

"Nonsense, sweetie, everyone's just starting to have fun!" Robo-Mom declared, before turning to face a random woman in the crowd, "Who does your hair?!"

"Um, well- AH!" the woman stammered, before the Robo-Mom started poking her hard in the forehead, "OW! Stop that!"

Starfire and Zim's eyes went wide with shock, a feeling most of the room was feeling, though Dib and Gaz, even if for different reasons, were watching with amusement.

"Um, excuse me... I believe that is considered most rude," Starfire stepped forward, trying to do what she can to help Zim, "And Zim is right, it is getting the late," she said with a strained smile.

"Oh, it's alright dear, I'm just being friendly!" Robo-Mom stated cheerfully, turning to look at Starfire even while she continued poking the poor woman. Starfire tried to say something to dispute that, but was interrupted by a loud noise that drew everyone's attention to where Robo-Dad was pulling himself away from the wall while sparking with arcs of electricity.

BOOM

And then his arm blew clear off his body, flying across the room to land in the punch bowl, eliciting screams.

"That's normal!" Zim quickly yelled in desperation and panic, "My father just, um, lost his arm in the war!"

"That was my squeezing arm! Why did they take my squeezing arm?!" Robo-Dad sobbed, rolling over and leaning against Starfire for support.

"Ah... there, there?" Starfire offered awkwardly, patting Robo-Dad on the shoulder that still had an arm attached to it.

"Oh, this is too good," Dib chuckled with a smirk.

"Reminds me of last Thanksgiving," Gizmo muttered off to the side next to Gaz and Zita, the latter watching as her uncle got up with a scowl.

"Please don't do anything crazy, embarrassing, or stupid," the girl pleaded, wanting to walk away from tonight with some dignity.

"Don't worry, I won't do anything else tonight," Bill replied, making Zita sag in relief.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was worried that-"

"Obviously, this alien siren has ensnared not just the boy, but his parents as well," Bill continued, "I will need to regroup and strategize how to take them all on!"

"Ah, come on! Uncle Bill, please don't start stalking my classmates like Dib!" Zita pleaded, with Dib giving her an offensive glare at being called a stalker.

"Forget it kid, my family's dealt with enough so-called Sasquatch hunters to know an obsessive loon when we see one," Mammoth said with a grunt, rolling his eyes.

"You stay out of this, gorilla!" Bill snapped at Mammoth, whose eye started twitching in response.

"For the last time... I am not a gorilla!" he yelled, trying to lunge at Bill, only for Grundy to pull back on his leash, pulling him up short.

"Hairy boy behave, or no TV when get back to cave," Grundy said sternly.

"What? But he..." Mammoth's protests were cut off by Grundy's stern glare as Bill let out a hum.

"I see Cocofang sent one of his undead servants to keep his pet on a short leash," he remarked, prompting a glare from Mammoth and confused look from Grundy, "Be thankful I do not have the time or equipment to properly deal with you this evening," he said, before twisting around and letting his trench coat flap dramatically behind him, "Come, Zita! I'll take you home, we'll just tell your folks your teachers said to keep doing what you're doing," he let out a dismissive snort, "They're nothing but mindless cogs in the chocolate-coated conspiracy anyway."

He stated as Zita let out a groan, "I am so sorry about him."

"Now you know how I feel about being in public with this idiot," Gaz grunted, gesturing to Dib.

"I should take offense at that, but I'm enjoying myself too much," Dib stated, grinning in amusement as he watched Zim's attempt to get the Robo-Parents' attention somehow led to them beginning to river dance.

"Why do you even know how to do that?!" Zim screeched at the robots, eye twitching so hard that it threatened to pop out its disguise contact.

"Hehehe, at this rate Zim and his girlfriend are going to be exposed as the alien menaces they are in no time!" Dib said with a large smirk, prompting a glare from Zim who heard him, only to let out a yelp as Robo-Mom grabbed him.

"Come on dear, let's dance as a family!" She called as she and Robo-Dad each took one of Zim's hands as they danced.

"No! Zim has no desire for dance! Zim desires you to stop!"

"Nonsense!" Robo-Dad chimed in, "Here, have your first dance with your girl!"

"Wait, what?!" Starfire exclaimed, before yelping as Robo-Dad grabbed her and pulled her forward, just in time for Robo-Mom to turn and shove Zim in her direction. He slammed against Starfire, and the two instinctively grabbed ahold of each other, leaving Zim pressed against Starfire's chest and dangling from a grip on her neck as she held onto him, their faces very close together.

"Um..."

"Ah..."

Both aliens blushed brightly as they stared into each other's eyes, unable to even think at the moment, much less look away.

And naturally, everyone was watching the scene as well.

"Do chicks dig the crazy weirdos now or something?" Brian asked with a look of despair, wondering when life became so unfair.

"Well, women like guys with confidence, and say what you will about the freak, can't deny that Zim's got confidence in spades," Letty said thoughtfully next to him, tapping her chin.

"Yeah, if he wasn't so loud and annoying, I might actually consider dating him," Aki added, several other girls nodding in agreement.

"Seriously?" Chunk grunted, "Man, I'm starting to think that joke about Dib potentially getting a girlfriend might actually end up coming true after all..."

"Hey! How is me possibly getting a girlfriend a joke?" Dib demanded, his offense at the statement enough to override his amusement at Zim and Starfire's suffering.

 "Dude, you're constantly chasing fairy tale creatures or spacemen," Brian said in return, his voice flat, as if the statement answered his question completely.

 "I'm standing next to a zombie that my Dad reanimated and an actual Bigfoot, and there are two aliens getting lost in each other's eyes right over there!" Dib exclaimed, gesturing wildly between Grundy, Mammoth, and the pair of Zim and Starfire, who were snapped out of their stunned state by his volume, "If anything, all this proof that I'm right about my beliefs should make me more attractive!"

"Gross," Gaz muttered, sticking out her tongue.

"Dib, if aliens actually existed and if it was a choice between you and the alien invader.... I'd go with the alien, hands down," Zita said dryly as she walk past him to follow after her leaving uncle.

 "That... that might be the biggest insult I've ever suffered in my life," Dib said, looking genuinely hurt by that comment.

Meanwhile, Zim and Starfire had disentangled, and were rather pointedly looking at Dib's drama rather than each other.

"Ahem... do you have any idea for how we are to get out of this?" Starfire asked Zim in a whisper, while glancing at the still dancing Robo-Parents.

"Hmm, Zim has one idea. Play along," he ordered. Not giving her a chance to respond, he suddenly bent over backwards very sharply, and called out in a voice of exaggerated pain, "Oh no! I've broken my spine! I must go home and lie down now!"

"Ah... oh! Um, yes, it looks most serious! We should take you to the hospital of healing at once!" Starfire declared after a confused blink at first, before her eyes widened in realization, and she played along, "Mr. and Mrs... um... Zim's parents! We must take Zim and leave with much haste!"

"Oh, honey, are you upset?" Robo-Mom asked, leaning over Zim, "I think it's time we took you home."

"Yes, immediately!" Zim ordered, happy that things were finally going his way... only to blink in surprise as Robo-Mom picked him and cradled him in her arms, before her and Robo-Dad's legs turned into rockets, blasting them all upwards.

BOOM

And right through the ceiling. Starfire blinked at that, looking up at their rapidly disappearing forms through the new hole in the ceiling, before shrugging and taking off to fly after them.

"...Is everybody going to pretend that they didn't just see that?!" Dib demanded, only to realize that much of the crowd was gathered around the woman who had been traumatically poked, and everyone else looked only mildly interested, "Oh, come on!"

"Hmm, impressive rockets. I'll have to ask where they got them, since I didn't recognize the design," Professor Membrane mused, "Why, I didn't even see any flames from the overly-tanned girl's!"

"Because she wasn't using rockets, she was flying under her own power! Because she's an alien!" Dib yelled in exasperation.

 "Now son, there's no such thing as aliens, like I've stated hundreds of times before," Membrane said with a shake of his head, "And seeing that crazy Bill person... I think we need to have a serious talk about your little hobbies and future, young man."

 "What?!" Dib exclaimed, while Gaz snickered at his expression, "Dad, you can't possibly think I'm anything like that, that, cereal-obsessed whack job!"

"Not yet, perhaps, but it is definitely a concerning possibility that that is what you may end up becoming if you keep up your obsession with nonsense," the Professor declared.

Gaz snorted, barely holding back laughter, but her good humor died at her father's next words, "In fact, from everything tonight, from that poor crazy deluded man to the comments of the other parents, I think I've been giving you and your sister too much free rein with my hands-off parenting."

"Wait, what?" Gaz asked, suddenly getting a bad feeling.

"Which is why I'll be looking into hiring the services of a live-in nanny effectively immediately!" He declared as Gaz and Dib's eyes widened in shock.

"What?!" the siblings exclaimed in unison.

"A nanny?! What are we, six-year-olds?!" Gaz added in utter disbelief that this was happening... well, that it was happening to her, in any case. Dib's antics always got him reprimanded by their father, but she was supposed to be immune to it!

"Age isn't the issue, it's supervision, which I believe will help deal with Gaz's apparent anger issues, and Dib's obsession with fantasy," Membrane said, with Gaz's eye twitching.

"Anger issues?! I don't have..." she was cut off by alarms blaring on Membrane's side.

"Whoops! Got to go, children, seems like the muscle-enhanced lab rats got loose again and are disrupting the energy reactor!"

Everyone blinked at that, a brief silence falling over the room as Membrane's screen switched off, before Gaz broke it with a growl.

"Anger issues? That's ridiculous! I don't have anger issues!" she snarled, before turning to the nearby Gizmo, "Do I have anger issues?!"

"...If I say yes, are you going to hit me?" he asked nervously.

That was apparently the worst thing to say, as she let out a feral growl.

"Wait, wait, WAIT!" Before Gizmo found himself grabbed and thrown across the room, landing right into the punch bowel with a groan.

"Urg... she's cute when she's mad," he muttered in a low groan, lying in the punch bowel while Gaz, not hearing that comment, swirled around to grab Dib's neck.

"Dib..." Gaz's eyes were alit with fury, "if I have to deal with some prissy old nanny lecturing me, or trying to limit my video game or television privileges because of you..." her grip on Dib's neck tightened, "I'm going to become an only child."

"Ugh, ack, understood!" Dib gurgled around his sister's vice-grip on his throat. He had no idea how he could stop that from happening, so he had a feeling that he'd be facing some long-term hospital visits in the future.

But with that thought, he found himself flung across the room straight toward Gizmo just as he sat up from the punch bowel, and only had a moment to widen his eyes before Dib's form hit him.

WHAM

The two boys collided, the impact knocking them both off of the table and into a heap on the floor.

"Ugh... your sister has great aim," Gizmo groaned.

"I know... unfortunately," Dib moaned in response.

 "Little sister should not worry, Grundy is sure she will love nanny," Grundy said as he pulled on Mammoth's leash to follow after Gaz, prompting a growl of annoyance.

And as Dib picked himself up with a groan of pain and the rest of the room took in and gossiped about everything that just happen, one thing was for sure, tonight did not go like how anything of them expected it too.

"At last, I've finally got the perfect dirt to use against that loser freak," Kitten said off to the side with a huff as Jessica sighed.

"You really need to let this grudge go," she said as Kitten shot her a glare.

"I'll let it go when that loser is on her hands and knees kissing my designer shoes!" she snapped.

"That's kinda hot," Brian said with a blink off to the side, and for that comment he got a hard slap upside the head as Kitten stomped out of the room.

SMACK

 "Worth it..." Brian groaned as he slumped to the ground, lying there barely conscious as everyone started to disperse and head home.

(Zim's base, a while later)

"So, how did it go?" the Computer asked, half-interested/half-amused as the group returned to the house.

"Don't ask," Zim said with a look of annoyance as he took a seat at the couch next to a tired-looking Starfire, "Zim just doesn't know what could have gone wrong with the programming?" He muttered with a scowl, "And that annoying human who was like a taller Dib... he didn't help the situation at all!"

"Indeed he did not," Starfire replied, scowling at the thought of Bill, who was somehow even more annoying than the first time she encountered him.

"Sounds fun~" the Computer chuckled, Zim glaring at the ceiling.

"It is not funny!" he snapped, "There's another human who knows that we are aliens! And on top of that, now everyone thinks we're mates!"

"Wait, what?" the Computer asked in surprise, while Starfire blushed at the reminder, and Zim did likewise as he realized what he'd just said.

 "Urg... just never mind that!" Zim said with a growling groan of frustration.

"At the very least, most of the other humans believe him less sound of mind than the Zor'duni," Starfire pointed out as Zim gave a frown, nodding.

"Yes, that is true... though Zim should look into this Cocofang the human was babbling about. Zim refuses to have any competition for conquering this planet!" the Irken hissed with a glare, with Starfire giving a blink, a part of her very sure this Cocofang was not real... though then again, since many of the humans believed aliens like themselves to not be real. Perhaps checking to see if the strange man was not right about this Fang of the Coco just to be safe would not hurt.

"And at the very least, our cover is intact," Zim said with a sigh, giving a groan, "We merely need to play along with this mate belief to not stir up suspicion... unless we can find a way to fix this mistake without risking the mission," He added with a blushing mutter.

 "Oh, um, yes... yes, we do not want to make any believe we are lying to them, after all," Starfire nervously agreed, blushing brightly as well.

"How awful for you both," the Computer laughed.

"Do you have anything useful to contribute?!" Zim snapped.

"I stopped GIR from replacing all the base's defensive lasers with marshmallows while you were gone, I've done my good deed for the day," the Computer replied dryly.

"Grrr, of course that robot can't stay out of trouble for one night," Zim said with a scowl, "And something tells Zim that GIR might have had a hand in the decoy parents malfunctioning as well."

He added, glancing off to the side at the decoys.

"Son, your mom and I are going to recharge for the night, so you and your girlfriend have the house to yourselves," the Robo-Dad declared with a smile.

"So you crazy kids don't do anything we wouldn't do~" Robo-Mom added with a laugh.

That made Zim and Starfire blush again and stammer incoherently, until the robots retreated into their storage closet.

"I'm going to need to do a hard reboot on them to get them back to normal... or what passes for normal with them," Zim growled.

"Indeed, but I believe for now we should both rest... it has been the long day, no?" Starfire said as Zim nodded in agreement.

"Indeed, we can figure out how to address that Bill human tomorrow," he said with a frown, "The Dib-Stink is bad enough, we don't need another human attempting to stop our conquest."

 "Yes, he could most definitely be a problem," Starfire nodded in agreement.

However, there was nothing else they could do about it right now. So with that, they both retired to their rooms for the night... unaware that a small ship had arrived in Earth's solar system.

"So, this is where the tracker I had placed last has that stupid lizard's coordinates," mused a pair of purple glowing eyes, glancing to the blue and green orb floating in space before her.

"I don't know where exactly you are down there, little sister... but I'm coming for you. And when I find you, I’m going to settle things between us once and for all," Blackfire said, eyes narrowing and glowing in rage as she headed toward the planet.