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Arisu had spent the last few days racking his brain of some sort of explanation, some reasoning to understand why Chishiya had suddenly hugged him.
And whispered in his ear that he'd do great, as if reassuring someone he loved.
Just the thought of it made Arisu flush red on the face, not that he'd admit that the strange interaction had him restless since it happened.
Maybe it had been an accident? Or an act of teasing to embarass him?
Or maybe Chishiya wanted to hug him?
The last option seemed almost impossible yet at the same time, plausible.
Chishiya couldn't have slipped, otherwise he wouldn't have whispered.
The teasing theory was definitely a possibility, but he'd seen the actor tease Kuina before, usually commenting on a woman he often saw during their Beach scenes called Ann.
But he never showed any sort of physical touch or affection to embarrass someone.
So maybe it really was that Chishiya had wanted to hug him.
If Arisu knew one thing, it was better to test it right? To make sure he was right in his guess?
He would soon find out that it really wasn't for the better.
__
Arisu walked into the studio, a bounce in his step as he made his way through his usual route on set, handing out cups of coffee to those he knew he'd be filming with that day.
He left Usagi with two cups, realising it was easier than having the woman hunt him down for her second cup the moment she finished the first.
Kuina had happily offered to take Ann's for her, her usually upbeat demeanor only growing more joyful with the prospect of meeting with Ann.
Arisu just handed her the cup with an amused huff and a small good luck, he'd caught onto Kuina's strange behavior the moment he saw her become giddy whenever she was able to act with the other woman.
Arisu and Kuina weren't particularly close, but they'd begun occasionally talking during coffee runs and whenever Usagi and Kuina had new film crew gossip that he was forced to listen to.
And finally, the stop he both looked forwards to and feared, Chishiya.
He was stood by idly near the set, only a few feet away from the others who'd begun to gather, eyes running over his lines for his next scene.
Arisu slid his cup of coffee onto the table to the side of Chishiya, walking up behind the man and wrapping his arms around Chishiya's shoulders.
The blonde tensed immediately, shoulders shooting up to almost reach his ears, as Kuina's mouth dropped open and she let out a shocked gasp, her head still perched on Ann's shoulder.
The other woman stared with slightly widened eyes, glancing over to Kuina momentarily as if to question if they were both seeing the same thing.
Usagi quietly squealed from where she stood, she'd been cheering on Arisu for the past few days to test the waters with the blonde.
Tatta smiled brightly from beside her, doing a silly thumbs up motion as if cheering him on, as Niragi stood behind him with one hand on Tatta's arm, the other covering his mouth that gaped open in surprise.
And then all hell broke loose.
Chishiya quickly twisted in Arisu's hold, pulling away and stumbling into table, effectively knocking the hot coffee over and onto Arisu's hand that now rested on the edge.
Arisu's once carefree expression quickly dropped into one riddled with confusion and pain, wincing as the burning liquid spilt across his skin.
"Arisu? What the hell were you doing?"
The voice wasn't angry, or disappointed, if anything it sounded more detached than usual, but hearing the lack of feeling in the man's voice hurt more.
"I- A few days ago, you hugged me and I thought that maybe it was because you were wanting to hug? So I decided to test the waters and-"
"Wait you mean the dare?"
Arisu swore the whole word tilted on its axis the moment he heard the word "dare."
Suddenly, that extra bit of happiness in his chest soured, rotting and festering into a disgusting sick feeling.
It was an overreaction, he knew that much, but he couldn't stop that faint aching in his chest realising he'd really gotten it all wrong.
"What do you mean, what dare?"
"Kuina dared me to hug you that day, and I wanted the prize she was offering."
"But- you said that I'd do good in my next scene!"
"That was to sell it, what else? Don't tell me you'd really convinced yourself it meant anything, Arisu. I thought you were at least a little smarter than that."
And Arisu just went silent and slack jawed at that. He cradled his scalded hand, the pain bubbling beneath his skin but at that moment he couldn't care for it.
He glanced towards Kuina as the girl began to yell, storming over to Chishiya and grabbing him by the sleeve.
"Chishiya Shuntaro. We need to talk. Now."
That was the last thing Arisu and the other's heard before she dragged him away off set.
Usagi and Tatta quickly made their way to his side, Tatta placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as Usagi fished out a medical kit from a nearby cupboard before trying to tend to his hand.
"Hey, Arisu, don't pay attention to him. He's an asshole."
Tatta muttered from beside him, hand running up and down his arm now as he tried to reassure him.
Niragi soon followed, standing in front of him as he spoke.
"I'm sorry, Arisu. Chishiya is too emotionally cut off for his own good, I'm sure he hadn't meant to try and hurt your feelings."
"No, no, it's fine guys, at least I know so that I don't get confused in the future."
Arisu's tone, a pained opposite of what it had been earlier, cracked slightly.
As Usagi bandaged his hand and applied a numbing ointment, she spoke with anger lacing her tone.
"I know it was for the better that he told you, but in no way did he even try softening the blow. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was trying to make it hurt."
Finally, Ann spoke up, still in her spot from earlier.
"I don't believe he was trying to huty your hand, Arisu, or upset you to this extent. He isn't the most emotional person in the world as we've realised, but for now, I have to go stop Kuina before she leaves Chishiya as a missing person's case."
Arisu knew Ann was right.
Despite Arisu and Chishiya having very conversations, including this one, he'd gauged that the other seemed emotionally repressed as such, or at the very least someone who refused to show any resemblance of feeling.
But that fact couldn't dull down the throb in his chest, or the feeling of his skin peeling from the results of the coffee spill.
__
The next few days were a blur, a repeated routine of line runs, scene filming, makeup and hair, sleep, repeat.
Usagi and Tatta had been there the best they could be, offering warm smiles and small side hugs whenever they were able to.
Arisu reciprocated the gestures, though his eyes didn't glimmer with as much light, and his smiles lacked just a little of that warmth.
He hadn't lost himself, no, he was still there, he'd just lost a small portion of that sunshine esque light he'd always held on to.
Arisu knew that even this was an overreaction, he'd been wrong about Chishiya, so what? It just meant they'd return to their usual awkward silence, as if nothing happened before.
But at the same time, a small glimmer of hope that maybe he'd truly be able to get to know Chishiya had ignited the day they hugged, and it was snuffed out the moment he'd heard the real reasoning behind it all.
He hated the feeling, like a dim flame flickered inside his chest each time he looked at the man.
Always yearning for a gaze that never looked his way.
Always begging for midnight irises that refused to stare into his.
Always searching for a man who didn't want to he found by him.
He chased after a shadow of Chishiya, because the blonde had already ran far enough to hide out of view.
After 3 days, Arisu had stopped trying to run after Chishiya. Accepted that maybe it was face's way of saying that the two weren't meant to be more than strangers.
During coffee runs, he'd leave Kuina with both Ann and Chishiya's coffee, who'd gift him pitying glances and sometimes small words of reassurance in return.
"He'll understand soon, Arisu."
Arisu had only absentmindedly hummed in response to it, what use was believing something he knew wasn't really possible?
While on set with Chishiya, he'd stand as far as possible, and, to the director's dismay, his lines would come out stiff if directed towards the blonde.
This caused a need for god knows how many retakes, until they settled on the best of the takes or agreed to reshoot them on a different day, under the belief that Arisu was just sick.
Niragi had been checking on his hand occasionally, rebandaging it when needed and ensuring it'd heal properly.
Meanwhile, Ann had been following a similar role as Kuina, trying to be a peacekeeper on both sides.
She'd be one of the few to speak with Chishiya, but at the same time left Arisu with similar words of vague comfort.
But honestly, the words only made Arisu feel worse. Pity only made that thrum in his chest hurt worse.
__
By now, it had been almost a week since the encounter.
Arisu was sat on his own by a simple glass table, his lunch sat atop as he took a small bite. He didn't feel exactly hungry, but since the director believed he was still sick, he ordered Arisu to have a full meal otherwise he'd get worse.
A voice cut through it all, but Arisu didn't dare turn around. It was probably Kuina, or Niragi, or-
"Arisu."
He swore his blood ran cold the moment he heard that dull voice, more importantly, Chishiya's voice.
He hesitated, but after a moment, turned his head to face Chishiya.
"What is-"
Arisu's voice was cut off as he felt his arms nudged open slightly and the warmth of a person lean into him.
The position was awkward, Arisu sat in a chair with Chishiya leant across the chair and into his arms.
The moment he felt the blonde in his arms, his eyes burned.
More than the flame that formed a week before, more than that coffee spilling onto his skin, more than anything he'd felt before.
They watered, glistening in the luminescent studio lights, hands hovering above Chishiya's back as he slowly inhaled.
"I don't do well when it comes to words, or physical touch. I know I was rather blunt with what I said to you last time we talked, you'd caught me off guard and I suppose I didn't know how to react."
Arisu tried to speak, tried to even just whisper something, anything even. All he could do was choke out a single word.
"Chishiya..?"
A dam broke, but not loud and crashing, just collapsing quietly into a stream below, as tears slowly began to make their way down his face.
"Arisu."
Chishiya pulled back slightly, looking at Arisu as if trying to decipher the man's expression. Though the tears said all he needed to know.
"I'm sorry Arisu. But know I won't repeat that again, so don't ask me to."
Arisu couldn't help but laugh between the tears, a smile splitting across his face at the statement.
"Let me guess, Kuina put you up to apologising to me?"
"She urged me to, but in the end I guess I did feel rather guilty when I saw you acting differently. I did want to apologise, so this isn't just Kuina's orders."
Arisu just let out another small laugh, arms tightening a little around the blonde as he let his tears run.
Maybe things were far from perfect, and maybe he could still feel that burn deep in his chest.
But it hurt a little less with the man in his arms.