Chapter Text
A Few Books fell from Subaru’s bookshelf as he exited the room. Was it a pattern?
The year was 2012. A Boy named Natsuki Subaru has just finished watching Spice and Wolf, and wants snacks from the convenience store to fill his appetite. To say he has been inspired by the show would be an understatement. Subaru has been harboring romantic delusions in his subconscious, has he not?
Those romantic delusions are born from watching said show, and from the innate desire of all men to create something.
As he lays in his bed, reading the light novel where the show left off, he wonders what he shall do with his life, now that he has become an unemployed yutanian bum.
Perhaps in another life, he could be a merchant like Kraft Lawrence, or Jan Pieterszoon Coen, or William Davenport.
But he is no Merchant. He knows that.
Subaru is a bit hungry at this hour. Subaru’s window is open, and light from the sodium street lamps streams in, casting shadows and filling Subaru’s room with an ethereal orange glow.
Shame they’re gonna replace them with LEDS soon.
He thinks to himself as he closes the window.
In his room, statuettes of a great many characters can be found. As a result of his ownership of the statues, one sock in Subaru’s collection is forever solidified under Subaru’s bed.
Its late.
Subaru is about to leave the house.
As he walks out the door, Natsuki Naoko says “Take Care of yourself.”
Subaru ignores her.
It will be his greatest regret.
The night is beautiful. The clouds are high, free, and naturally born. A light wind blows from the coast. It carries the odors from the fish markets east of Shiba.
As he walks down the streets of Shiba ––where not a single star in the sky shines bright enough to overpower the dense ecumenapoli below— his head remains perpetually low, and he sees a little bit of money on the ground.
There is a jagged edged 10-yen coin on the ground. Plum’s coin.
Subaru bends down and picks it up. He feels the odd urge to clip off the jagged edge on the ten and turn it into a regular coin.
He continues his trek towards the convenience store. The wind blows and Natsuki Subaru tries to distract himself from the bum he has become.
The Year is 2012.
He walks by the local nursery. No kids are inside the building, however in the playground outside the nursery, a few young kids -ages around four and older- scurry about, careless and free in the night air. Even despite the late hour, here they are. Playing and frolicking without fear, It is the product of the high-trust society Subaru finds himself living in. They throw mulch at one another. One little Japanese boy sees Subaru and waves. Subaru waves back.
Good kids. Im sure they’ll grow up to be good well-rounded members of society. I bet little Osda right there will create a cure to Alzheimers, and that fun little mexican brat, Nick, he’ll put an end to Antisemitism! And that little orange haired girl… what was her name, Mymy? No. it was Mymy. She’ll probably solve racism. Or cure cancer. Or both.
Look at them. Happy. Carefree. They have they entire lives ahead of them, unrestricted and free.
And what have I done with my life?
Nothing.
No they’re not. They’re going to become cannon fodder in the second Great Asian War. 2028.
He enters the store. He buys his ramen. The employee there looks tired. He pays. He goes.
He blinks.
He falls asleep.
“…A Monster.”
Natsuki Subaru awoke in an alley.
What is this? Where am I? Was I kidnapped?
He got up and looked around.
Im in an alley. My body feels fine. No aches. No pain in my ass, so I guess I haven’t been…
Cut that line of thought.
All I remember was going unconscious at that Convenience Store and now Im here.
It smells dirty. So dirty.
Bricks. Stonework. Masonry. No Grafitti. Wait, there is Grafitti. I can’t read it. Strange script. Not anything I’ve ever seen before. Is it thai? No. Indian Subcontinent? No. It looks Norse. Runic. Foreign.
Wait a minute.
“What on earth am I wearing?” he asked to no one in particular.
There was a puddle, it was mildly reflective. Subaru looked at himself in the reflection.
Why do I look like A Medici? I aint even part of the big 13! Damn, I Do got It on though.
But how did I get into— Ah. Oh. Now it makes sense.
Every Hero needs their starting gear. Right?
So have I…
“Have I Been Summoned into another world?!”
This is it! My chance to finally do something in this world!
Ohohoh! Its just like the stories! Boy gets sent to a magical world, gets a harem, Haha! Take that O-Inevitable fate as a McDonalds worker!
I could be anyone!
I could be anything!
A Scribe! A Warrior! A Mage or a Merchant! With my knowledge of the modern world, I could reshape this land to my will! I could be a king!
This is amazing! Now where is the cute goddess who summoned me?
And as he arose, he saw a note tucked into his collar, and he toke it out and unraveled it with joy in his eyes. The writing was in Japanese.
Japanese. My Language. Good handwriting too. No cute goddess. But this will do. Thank you Isekai Board of Directors! Thank you Truck-Kun! Did I even die though? I cant remember…
“A Note, What could it be?”
He began to read.
[“Your Name is Natsuki Subaru. You possess a failsafe ability called “Return By Death.” It is an ability that allows you to resurrect after death. It has a 50% failure rate, and a 25% chance of you losing your memories. Do not abuse this.”]
“…50 Percent Failure Rate…”
“…Do Not Abuse This?”
Who in their right mind would ever abuse such an ability? Return By Death? Only three uses?
Atleast I have three more second chances than the average person. Only an idiot would abuse this…
The Break Condition Was Fufiflled.
And I could even lose my memories! I’d be left a damn Potato. Whos’ to say I haven’t lost my memories already? No. Wait. That hasn’t happened, I still remember Earth.
…And this little addendum…
[“The vial on your neck is a health potion. Use only in emergencies.”]
Thanks for the Potion, Isekai Goddess! Wherever you are!
Subaru is Cruel to Subaru.
He looked and saw a fallen knight in the far distance
“Hello?” He asked. The fallen knight did not respond.
He looks injured! Is this my companion? I wonder why he’s on the ground. Is he dead? No. He cant be dead!
He ran up to the fallen knight.
“Hello Hello! Are you ok?” He asked.
The fallen knight did not respond. He looked injured, and Subaru saw that a small stream of blood exited his mouth from the helmet.
…This guy must be one of my companions! And he’s injured!
How can I help him?
Hmmmm.
Oh. I know!
The Health Potion!
I see how it is! It’s a test of Greed, A Greedy person would hog the potion for themselves, but a virtuous person would share his health potion with others! Ohohoh Im gonna get soooo many brownie points with the Isekai Gods for this!
Subaru went up to Al and took his “Health Potion” from around his neck.
“I wonder why It would be on a necklace.” He pondered aloud. “Could it be a high-grade item?”
“No matter! I, Natsuki Subaru, would never not help a person in need!” He spoke.
He went over to Al’s metal mask and took it down.
“My god.” He said. “Your jaw’s all busted up, its hanging loose. Who on earth would do something like this!” He spoke.
Something somewhere coughed.
Subaru took the vial from his necklace and opened it. He took a quick wiff and it smelled like flowers and herbs.
“Open up.” He said as he poured ALL the red fluid into Al’s mouth. “Please don’t die yet, I cant let the guide character die on level zero, I don’t even get to redo level zero! Technically. Mr knight. So please don’t die. Mr Knight.”
Al did not move.
“Are you…”
He checked his pulse.
Why isn’t it working? This was supposed to be healing medicine, yet it isn’t doing anything?
Whats going on? Did I screw up? Is it supposed to be injected instead? Oh shit, This isn’t good, he’s—
Al’s eyes suddenly opened.
He stared at Subaru, and at those concerned eyes, and then he noticed,
SHIT! The Break Condition has been… Found?
I need to gather Intel. Matrix Redefinition. Natsuki Rigel. Aggressor. Natsuki Subaru. Victim. Break Condition, When I Kill Natsuki Subaru.
How on earth did he break? Why does his eyes look so lively all of a sudden? What did he do?
LOOP ONE. LOCALIZED DOMAIN THOUGHT EXPERIMENT REDEFINITION.
LOOP ONE. AGGRESSOR BECOMES VICTIM. VICTIM BECOMES AGGRESSOR.
MATRIX REDEFINITION COMPLETE.
LOOP ONE, LOCALIZED DOMAIN LOOP ONE.
Al awoke to see Subaru’s very concerned face. He looked, human.
And then he suddenly felt drowsy, very drowsy, and he fell asleep.
LOOP ONE, LOCALIZED DOMAIN LOOP TWO.
Al awoke to see Subaru’s very concerned face. He looked, human.
“How did you…”
And then he suddenly felt drowsy, very drowsy, and he fell asleep.
LOOP ONE, LOCALIZED DOMAIN LOOP THREE.
Al awoke to see Subaru’s very concerned face. He looked, human.
“Dona”
But the mana did not come to coalesce and the little spike Subaru marvelled at could not be launched, as in the moment he cast that spell, he felt his concentration evaporate unto bliss.
LOOP ONE, LOCALIZED DOMAIN LOOP THREE.
Im fucked.
Al Thought.
LOOP ONE, LOCALIZED DOMAIN LOOP 32^100^100^100^100.
Echidna was cruel. The Bug did not activate.
Al did not even open his eyes, for there was no thought left in those empty eyes.
His dead soul went, and that was that.
LOOP ONE, LOCALIZED DOMAIN LOOP ???
“He’s dead.” Subaru said as he felt the heat leave Al’s body.
“FUCK!” He screamed. “I cant believe my potion’s sacrifice didn’t do jack! This isn’t fair! Why did he choose to die now? What now, What now,”
My Companion is dead. And I’ve just lost my only bargaining chip in this world.
Fuck me. What a bad start.
Is anyone watching me?
It was in this moment that he realized he needed to get out of here. Lingering around the body of a dead knight was not good for PR.
Subaru walked out of the alley, and looked out to the streets. They were deserted.
I just… Failed to save someone.
That’s it.
Push it to the back of your mind. Thousands of people have died before you. Millions. Billions, even. Its an inevitability of life.
Poor soldier. Who knows, he might have been a member of the enemy army, if there is one. Perhaps this place is deserted because of a military conflict?
It looks so medieval. As did the knight.
Push it to the back of your mind. Subaru.
No guilt. You’ve seen family pass on before. Its…
He sighed and took a moment to recuperate himself.
“I need to find out where I am.”
So he looked around.
“This looks like Rome or Naples, no. Scratch that. It looks like Venice. And are those walls?”
His eyes darted to the horizon. The walls of Priestella stood tall.
“Real medieval walls. And Medieval knights who… die… apparently.”
“…Maybe it was just disease. Gout got him. That’s it. Gout, or an infection… His arm was amputated, so it might have been that… where is everyone?”
Subaru looked both ways before the thought crossed his mind. As he crossed the cobblestone street, he became aware of the desolation around him. A few sirens horned. A few birds chirped. A few dogs barked. But other than this. It was silent.
But the lights were still on.
Subaru saw that the stores were unmanned. There was merchandise still on the tables and in the displays. Evidentially, this was a high-trust society unfamiliar with sub5 vollachian tax negative parasite freeloader rapegang creating, store robbing, demographics ruining…
And he turned a corner to see that there were craters in the street.
“Are those… Craters?” he went to one and saw the metal inside of it. “Is that a shell? Are we being shelled? Isn’t that a warcrime? Did… Did I get sent to a war world? But the guy was a knight, and here is a shell, was it a magic shell? Do they even have magic here? I haven’t seen anyone anywhere! Where—”
A Loud broadcast cut through.
“[——HYAELLO! Hello! Helloooo… M. M. M. MEAT-eaaatbags… Let me check my notes… Your Beautiful, wonderful, cute, sexy, busty… Mommy~ ~ ~, wants you —yes you—, to come and give mommy these three things…——]”
Why the fuck am I hearing satanic mommy asmr in the distance
What the fuck is this
Who decided this was a good idea
This…
That sounds like a broadcast. Ok. They have some technology. They have potions, that don’t work, they have… artillery probably, they don’t care about the craters for some reason, this is like a… venice, but circular and it goes down. Also, there is walls, so there is war. Maybe there is magic here?
I haven’t seen a soul either. Why?
Has the city been abandoned?
No. the lights are still on in some places…
“[——Do keep in mind, that we~ yes we~ control all four Water Control Towers, and could turn an entire city’s worth of MEATBAGS——]”
She said it like a slur.
“[——Into a nice bowl of soup. Anyways, if you meatbags value your lives, then you shall give us the remains of the witch buried underneath Priestella at once.——]”
Subaru, for his part, comprehended the situation quite well.
So this city is under siege by those people. Those Control Towers, or whatever she called them, Are under their control.
Considering this city appears to be below sea level, as evidenced by the fact that we’re in a pit, perhaps they are dams or water-control infrastructure?
And those banners. An eye interceded into the middle of an oval symbol. How evil looking! Only evil organizations put eyes on documents! Anyways where’s my dollar bill.
“[Secondly. You meatbags are to bring us the Black Book of Death at once. It’s a… Ack. Stupid Book. Always writing Gibberish. It’s a “Black Book with inscriptions from the Language of Hoshin. It is current owned by… The Owner of the Pleiades Company. Bring it NOW! MEATBAGS!]”
So this city was shelled by them probably, and now many civilians have either evacuated, or are in a different part of the city. These people, who call themselves the “Witch Cult” Want a witch’s remains and a Black Book of Death. It seems these are the villains of the story.
If only Mr Knight hadn’t died! He would’ve been able to tell me what these things are. What misfortune, Perhaps we would’ve been good friends. Brothers, even. Too late to brood now.
Most likely, I was summoned here to defeat these villains. But how?
“[Thirdly. And this… Urgghhhhh Not this manlet again. Thirdly, You unfortunate meatbags are to “Not Interfere with Regulus Corneas’s…” ].
There is a silence. As though the person on the other end is reading something.
“[ No way Im reading all that. You are not to interfere with Regulus Cornea’s wedding to… The — Fuck more adjectives— Catgirl. To the Catgirl. Don’t interfere with it. Meatbags.]”
Why does this regulus bastard get a catgirl and I don’t? Fuck you!
Regulus.
Subaru’s deductive reasoning kicked in
Regulus. Capella. Pleiades. Greco-Roman Influences. Astronomy as well. Shoddy worldbuilding? Somebody came here before me? Unnatural. Not a coincidence. Perhaps there are those with other astronomy related names here? Perhaps I might have to look out for them as well. I’d shudder to meet an Echidna or a Saturn here. That would probably end badly.
Echidna and Satella both coughed.
“[----And remember, the only thing separating you MEATBAGGERS from approximately seven reguluses worth of water is this tiny little switch in the control tower which also happens to be ten times larger than Regulus’s little thing. NOW GET TO IT! MEATBAGS!]”
She said it like a slur. I feel like there might be interdepartmental rivalry between whoever is attacking us. Is that an opportunity? Also this Capella woman sounds slutty as fuck. And annoying. Poor Regulus. Getting meatshamed and for what? That’s gotta be some violation of his rights or some shit. All he wants to do is marry his wife, and he’s getting called small-dicked by his co-cultists on national broadcast. Oof. That’s gotta suck.
Anyways I should probably find the good guys.
It was around this time that Subaru had the bright idea to run.
As he ran, he found—
Black Robed Cultists all dead on the ground. Pointy hats as well. Did I find an evil version of the Klan? That’s a joke just incase anybody’s listenining in to my thoughts. Well who knows, You just got summoned to another world? All protagonists get their thoughts listened in to by the omniscient narrator. Hello omniscient narrator! Hello audience!
Hello Subaru.
God im becoming schizophrenic. There isn’t anyone listening in to my thoughts. I need to stop scaring myself with these stupid isekai delusions.
He turned a corner and found more deserted buildings. The buildings here were much more oriental, Built in the style of the Old Kararagian administration, these buildings were constructed primarily of wood, and had opaque-canvas windows in the Japanese style upon them. This was the hotel district; a stone’s throw away from the Muse Company Headquarters.
Japanese Architecture. No doubt about it. Somebody was here before. Perhaps that’s where the names came from?
A crow circled overhead. It went down to where Subaru was wandering around.
The Crow stared at Subaru.
Subaru, for his part, was still looking around the districts of the hotels. He went inside a few. He found that they were completely deserted as well. He did find a sword, and he took it. There lay documents on the tables, so he read but could not understand the foreign language.
Exiting the hotel, he saw lights in the distance. The lights of a Cathedral.
A Church. So theres organized religion here. By that train of thought, perhaps those dead pointy hat guys were Catholics? Probably not.
Subaru walked over to the Cathedral. This district was the district of the Mausoleums. Here, there were many obelisks, many tombs. Some were as high as buildings, ordained with ornate columns of unknown orders. The number 33 was upon many of them, and a few of those tombs had black cubes atop them. Evidently, this was a Freemage Cemetary. Novus Ordo Seclorum.
Subaru went to the Cathedral and he opened the doors. Interesting tid-bit about the church. Did you know, that in the story “Subaru kills 48,246,183 Million People” This is the church which Subaru stumbles into?
No foreshadowing here. Go on.
“Hello?”
No less than 79 women turned their heads. All wore the same uniform.
Are these Nuns?
“Are you Nuns?” Subaru asked.
Nobody dared move nor speak.
“Tough Crowd, Huh?” Subaru said. “Am I interrupting something?”
The air lay heavy.
Did I just walk into some all-female temple? Like the Vestal Virgins?
“Leave.” One spoke. “For your own Safety.” She added.
“Huh?” He turned. It was a woman of long, blond hair. She wore the same uniform as the others. “Are you girls in danger?” He asked, ever-trying to be the hero.
“No. It is imperative you leave at once.” “Please.” She added.
Hmmm. They are all wearing the same clothing. They look… miserable… and they appear to be preparing a wedding.
Their eyes are dead.
These girls are victims
“Are you perchance, preparing a wedding?”
Nobody answered that, But the blond haired girl’s eyes seemed to confirm it as they lit up for just a moment.
“I see.” Subaru said. He looked at the church itself. There were a few deceased priest-looking people in the building. They were chopped at strange angles, and some were punctured from one end to another. Such speeds In these punctures, that there wasn’t even an exit wound. Just a rock shaped void straight through.
The girls were mopping these bodies away and cleaning up the debris of a struggle.
“Are you perhaps hostages of the “Witch Cult”” Subaru asked.
There was silence.
Sylphy Elmart’s eyes twitched. The Door behind him opened.
“If so! Then fear not, I Natsuki Subaru, will not hesitate to help a maiden in need!”
Subaru felt a presence behind him, and then an arm fell onto his shoulder.
Subaru’s head turned.
And there stood Regulus Corneas, in all his white-haired, wife-nabbing glory.
On his shoulder, there was an unconscious catgirl.
His eyes were bulging with rage.
And then his mouth opened.
“You. You dare. You DARE trespass upon the sanctity of my wedding? Who are you? For what purpose have you imposed your presence upon my venue? Speak! Speak now, for silence is a grave violation of my natural rights to answer. Answer. Answer me, for It is the responsibility and obiligation of a trespasser to inform the owner of the property trespassed upon as to the meaning and motives behind said act of trespass. Now tell. Tell now. Have you a reason for sullying the purity and sanctity of this hallowed chamber? Are you one sent by Capella? Answer now. You have five seconds.”
Now its important to understand this. Regulus was acting, in this moment, with such a degree of pathecitiy that not even Subaru, with his great deductive reasoning, could’ve ever predicted that Regulus Corneas held any strength. For all Subaru knew, Regulus looked like a high-school Mason (✝️) kid but with white hair. You know the type.
“No wonder Capella hates you.” Subaru said. “I’d call you a manlet too if I had to deal with this everyday—”
“YOU IMPUDENT SWINE! How dare you! Who are you! Answer or I’ll kill you! I swear I’ll kill you! Rights-violating garbage! I should kill you here where you stand, yet I, in my infinite kindness, my infinite charity, have decided I shall wait until you respond, as per you rights. Now speak! Who sent you! Who are you!”
“He Claimed to be sent by Lady Capella. Lord Husband-Sama.” She stared right at Subaru as if to say “Play along.”
“DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK!?” He boomed. “DO YOU NOT HAVE A CONCEPT OF BASIC HUMAN DECENCY? YOU IMPUDENT RAT? I SHOULD HAVE YOU—”
“Lady Capella did send me. Regulus, I Presume?”
“Ah yes. Where are my manners. You must be a part of my organization. I am Regulus Corneas, Archbishop of Greed, the most satisfied existence, the most handsome, the most…”
It went on for more than a minute.
If this your Co-Worker, then poor Capella.
Right. No need to sympathize with the enemy. Im currently infilitrating this place to gain information. They don’t seem dangerous. No weapons, so I should be safe. If magic comes into play, I run. Laws of physics seem the same as home, and theres no indications of both flight, nor worldbreaking magic in use.
The plan. Pretend to be a messenger for Capella.
“…And finally, the most fertile. That is I, The Great Archbishop of Greed, Regulus Corneas. Never Forget It.”
“I assume this is your Cathedral?” Subaru asked.
“Satellans no! I took this place from the lizard-worshippers after I killed all the bishops. They cried like animals as I tore through their rights-violating bodies. Justice was served. How dare they refuse to let me in, citing some bullshit along the lines of “we don’t want to die”? Can you believe it? Such utter impudence in the face of true superiority! Hmmph!”
He hmphed like a tsundere.
He did not imply that his subordinates killed the people within. He implies that he himself did it all. He must have some powerful ability. Caution is of the utmost.
What the fuck am I doing?
I just got summoned into another world, and the first thing I do is try to infiltrate a “Witch Cultist” controlled cathedral?
Well its not like I wanted to do this. I kinda had to… ya know… improvise, as I went. Its become very clear that this guy, Regulus Corneas, Is a little king. Perhaps Capella calling him “Manlet” was a play on Hamlet, and Man, and “Little” As in he wont shut the fuck up. Ever. Its like he thinks hes in a play or something. Or his dick is small. Compensating for something? Probability is high.
“You did not relegate such uncouth tasks like killing off the lizard-glazers to your subordinates? While I admire your diligence, a perfect existence such as yourself should not sully himself with such trivial things.”
Regulus gasped. “You. You. Youre… “
Subaru anticipated the end of it all. I fucked up. The room went deathly silent.
Even Sylphy closed her eyes.
“You’re right!” and a collective sigh of relief came from everyone. “Why should a perfect existence such as myself be forced to exert himself to purge the world of such, utterly pathetic little things! You’re absolutely right! Capella should’ve been the one to kill the stupid church! Not me! Why should I be the one to clean up her messes! Such Impudence on her part! My rights cry out in pain as she strikes them!”
“She sure is a bitch sometimes.” Subaru added. Regulus’s eyebrow raised.
I hope to god this works.
He paused.
“Absolutely! A bitch is an understatement! I wouldn’t even take her as my 239th wife! That’s how low that disgusting, nasty creature is! How base! How barbarian! She jaywalks! She litters! I, the most perfect existence, would never little! And not only that, but she ruins perfectly good soon-to-be wives! That’s a violation of my rights! My rights! My…”
Is there like, some sort of inter-religious conflict going on here? Mormons and their polygamy versus catholics and their… Capirotes?
What a confusing isekai. I demand a retry! I wish I could go back in time with the knowledge I’ve gained, but alas, that wont happen.
ACHOO
Anyways, Regulus might start asking about my message. Considering my whole disguise is that I’m a messenger from Capella. Whoever she is.
“…So anyways, Capella’s very existence represents a violation of the rights of the concept of violation itself! She violates so violently, that it violates reality itself! Anyways, as you are a messenger from Capella, it is within my rights to ask, what is that bitch whining about now?”
“She wants you to go to…”
What should I say? what should I say?
“Go to the...”
I need a generic location, something every city has, somewhere… Aha.
“…To the town hall, as she is expecting a counteract by the forces of…”
Who might be opposing these people. Fuck it. We go vague.
“…The Kingdom.” Subaru said
“The Kingdom?” Regulus’s eyes narrowed. “So they’ve made their move.” He spoke.
“Yes.” Subaru said. “Their forces will be there soon, but Capella told me to assure you that you’d be back here in time for you Wedding.”
“Oh. That is very good. Well then. Pass this message on to Capella. “I Know you’re not a messenger of Capella.”
“Sure, I’ll pass it alon— !!! …. .? !!!”
And the temperature in the room dropped 3 centigrades. A chill ran down Subaru’s spine.
“W-what do you mean?” Subaru asked. He was trembling. The gig was up.
“I know you’re not a messenger of Capella.” Regulus said.
“You dare waste my time? Me, the most intelligent being, must spell it out for you? And violate my rights to not have to enlighten unenlightened, yes-men like yourself? Capella’s messengers always look as though they have been transfigured, raped, and brutally molested beyond compare. I did, for a bit, believe you were a Messenger of Capella. Up until you said, “She sure is a Bitch” In my infinite wisdom, I knew that no subordinate of Capella would ever have the balls to say that, not in the presence of an Archbishop of Sin, or even a bystander. Capella would not tolerate such insubordination. She would not even tolerate the possibility of insubordination. You are not one of Capella’s Subordinates. You have lied. You dare lie to me, the most supreme and pure existence. You dare attempt to defile myself with falsehoods. And you did. You sullied my mind, for I did truly believe you were her subordinate. This represents a grave violation of my rights. You have three seconds before I turn yo ass into a can of spam. Before I end your miserable excuse for a life. Tell me. Who are you?”
Fuck Im cooked.
One. I need a lie to save my life.
Two. Who would he not attack.
Three. Archbishops. I am an
“I am an Archbishop.” Subaru said, and he threw on his most wicked smile.
Regulus’s eyebrow rose. Sylphy gasped.
“You are Pride?” Regulus baited with disbelief.
“Well what do you think?” Subaru countered.
“How very… prideful of a response. Pride then. Tell me, Where is your Gospel?”
Subaru paused.
Oh shit. Im cooked
I’ll pretend to look through my coat. Then I’ll bolt.
Subaru began to rummage through his coat. He felt something touch his hand.
He took it out.
It was a Black Book.
Why do I have this? Why didn’t I noticed this before? It was in a compartment of my coat…
“This is my Gospel.” Subaru said.
“Gospel? You think that petty thing is a Gospel?”
No choice but to double down.
“Of course.”
“What is Sanhedrin 54B Say?” Regulus asked.
“Kill the unbelievers.”
“INCORRECT. You. LIED TO ME! You are not Pride. You do not even have an ability! You are a—”
“Of course I would lie to your face. The most exalted existence. That is because I am…”
“Nyeh? Where am I?”
Uh oh. Felix had stirred awake.
Felix then, as though remembering past events, became cognizant to the fact that he was suspended forwards on the shoulder of Regulus.
Subaru, for his part, had been too focused on his deception to notice what he assumed to be Regulus’s catgirl bride on his shoulders. On second glance, Subaru was shocked to realize that that was no woman. That was a—
“S-Subaru? What are you doing here?”
AWOFIAWUF IAWHIUF WAOF HWAFU AWI
HOW DOES HE KNOW MY NAME?
AND IF IT IS MINDREADING, NAME-READING, OR SOME MAGICAL BULLSHIT, WHY DID HE SAY IT WITH FAMILIARITY?!
DID I PARTIALLY LOSE MY MEMORIES, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT ? HAVE I BEEN PROPHECIZED TO ARRIVE OR SOMETHING
“Oh-hoh, that’s my twin brother. People always get us confused…”
PLAY ALONG WITH IT. WHOEVER YOU ARE. CATGIRL. WAIT NO. THAT’S A BULGE ON HIS. CATBOY. PLAY ALONG WITH IT, DON’T YOU REALIZE YOUR SITUATION?
“You have a Brother?—”
And then he realized he was supposed to be playing along.
Felix turned to look at Regulus.
Subaru mouthed “shut up”
Regulus spoke.
“What.” He paused. “What the fuck was that?”
“What was what?” Subaru said.
“WHAT SHE JUST SAID. HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHO YOU ARE? EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN AT ONCE!”
“He just misrecognized me as my twin brother. That’s all.”
“IMPUNITY! THE FUCK YOU MEAN THAT’S ALL! YOU LIE! THERE IS NO TWIN BROTHER, IS THERE? MY WIFE! MY WIFE HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME WITH SCUM SUCH AS YOU! YOU ARE NO MESSENGER OF CAPELLA! YOU ARE NO ARCHBISHOP! YOU’RE A WIFE-STEALING, FAMILY-LIFE DERAILING, HOMEWRECKER, TRYING TO MAKE ME A CUCK! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU!”
Does this idiot not know that this catgirl is… judging off the not flat panties, a man?
I think I get him. He kidnaps random women, makes them his sex slaves, puts them in the uniform, and kills them if they resist. No wonder the women here have dead eyes.
Also.
He’s seen through my disguise.
I might be fucked.
Catboy I hope you have some magic or some shit.
Also.
How. Do. You. Know. Me.
“YOU WALTZ INTO MY DOMAIN WITH PURE, UNDILUTED MALICE IN YOUR TAR HEART, AND YOU FUCK ME! YOU FUCK ME CHAPO! HOW DARE YOU, MY RIGHTS HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY BUKKAKED! YOU CUCKOLDING RAT! AND YOU HAD THE GALL TO DECLARE YOURSELF THE ARCHBISHOP OF PRIDE! YOU PRIDEFUL SCUM! YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE. TELL ME. WHAT IS YOUR ABILITY? YOU ACT JUST LIKE THAT BITCH. YOU FUCKING WHORE. YOU’VE SULLIED MY WIFE, HAVENT YOU”
“How dare you! How dare you sully my wife!”
“Im nyot your wife!” Felix added. “And—"
“THAT’S A DUDE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Subaru screamed.
“Yeah what he said. I am a Ma—"
“AND YOU DARE MISGENDER HER! YOU SEXIST BIGOT!” Regulus responded.
“Oh my fucking god. Regulus. Firstly, as your colleague, I have to say—”
Felix’s eyes widened. “Subaru. You’re a part of the—
Subaru’s mouthed the words. PLAY ALONG.
“—Even Still, you continue to spin that diabolical lie! That you could be an Archbishop! How preposterous. Even more preposterous than the lie that my wife is a man!”
“I am though.” Felix said.
“No you’re not.” Regulus said.
“But I—”
“I Said. No. You. Are. Not.”
“No joy without the joystick.” Subaru muttered.
“WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY WIFE!?” Regulus screeched. “You know what! You have infuriated me. You have disrespected me in my own domain. How about this. You have declared yourself the Archbishop of Pride, And as a rights-respecting human being, I am forced to take this at face value, despite your continued lies. And in adhearing to the doctrine of “True until proven false” I take your assertion to be true. Now, as such, Let us do this. Your abilities shall be tested against mine. Should you be able to defeat my Superior Authority of Greed with whatever trickery and nonsense you possess, then I shall recognize this preposterous lie, that my Wife, Number 79, Is infact, a Man. And not only that, but I shall allow you, Whoever you are, to exit my domain unharmed. The conditions of this shall be that you shall take one of my attacks. Just one. There we shall test your ability against mine, and see if you are truly worthy of the Title of Pride.”
“Do I have a choice?” Subaru asked.
“No stupid.” Regulus said.
“I Might’ve lied. I don’t really have an ability or whatnot. Not that I know. Well I do have that thing called return by de—”
The world paused.
What did I do?
Did I use it? FUCK I MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY USED IT! I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS VERBALLY ACTIVATED! WHY CANT I MOVE! NO NO NO NO NO NO
The black hands of the witch emerged from everywhere all at once.
Oh God. What have I done?
Miasmatic hands. They Feel… Familiar?
Like… Like a nostalgic smell that wafts away in the wind, never to be smelt again…
The Unseen hands… For some reason. I Know they are called this. Are going towards, Regulus and the Catboy. What are they doing. They’re going into their… chests?
Are they going to do what I think they’re going to do?
They snaked towards everyone who had heard him. All the women in the room, and Regulus.
And Felix.
And they squeezed.
Shit!
The sounds of squealching could be heard through void.
Time unpaused.
Im… Im okay?
I didn’t die or lose my memory?
That… That was terrifying. I. I never want to do that again. Ever.
The sounds of 79 women collapsing to the ground could be heard at once.
What was that?
Subaru was facing regulus. His back was to the women.
Both Felix and Regulus seemed alive.
They’re both alive. Okay. That’s good. That’s…
They had died. Regulus remained alive because of—
“Urruk! Nyah! IT HYURTS! W-What- NYAEH!?”
Regulus could not comprehend what had just happened.
The Black Hands of Satella had crushed the hearts of all within the room. Including Felix’s and Regulus’s. But not Subaru’s. Regulus’s heart, the eternally unchanging one, was unaffected. Felix’s real heart was crushed. But Felix still lived, even with a crushed heart as it regenerated slowly.
Regulus’s Little King Heart was crushed in Slyphy. It found that It could move to only a single uncrushed heart.
It went back to Regulus himself.
In one moment, All of Regulus’s wives were alive and preparing the wedding.
In the next moment, All of Regulus’s wives collapsed and died.
Regulus could not comprehend.
No.
Subaru did not understand what had happened either.
“My wives.” He trembled.
“What about them?” Subaru asked.
“Wha. What about them?” With Trepidation.
“They’re dead.”
They’re dead? That’s not a funny joke.
Subaru turned.
They were dead.
“You Killed them.” No I Didn’t! Regulus said. “You violated their rights to life and the pursuit of happiness.” I couldn’t have “You killed them.” No. “All of them.” NO! “With your own hands.” IT WASN’T ME! “You are no Hero. No gentlemen.” IT WAS THE HANDS! “You are a monstrosity” I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home. “…wearing the mask of a human.” Mom. Your son has become a murderer. Oh god. I’ve killed someone. Oh god oh god oh god oh god. I don’t want to go to hell. Please no. Please let this be a dream. “You are Pride.” This is just a dream. “I am going to kill you. Pride.” Don’t. Please don’t. I don’t want to die.” You Wife-Murdering ANIMAL!” I didn’t do it. The last pronunciation of animal was said with such emphasis, a clear contrast to the feigned civility of the statements before it. I Didn’t
Felix looked too and saw the bodies. And he suddenly tried to wrestle out from his armlocked entrapment.
“Let mye go!” He yelled. “No.” Regulus said. “I’m a healer! I can save them. I can save some of them. Please! Let me heal them!” “No” Regulus said. “I can heal them! I can heal them!” “No.” Regulus said. “I Cannot risk losing my last wife to this… this time-wasting rights-violator. Its going to take so long…” “Let me go! Now!” “…To recover a new set of wives…” “Stop it! Get your hands off me! I see a few still alive! I can help—” “What a violation of my rights to efficiency. Searching this world for suitable replacements. How vulgar. For a most utterly justified, superior, magnamanious existence like myself to be reduced to an errand-boy to acquire new wives. How humiliating! This is a humiliation…” “LET ME GO!” “…A violation of my rights to marry the women I love. I violation of my human rights to happiness… a violation of my…” “REGULUS, NYEW MONSTER! LET MYE GO! I CAN SAVE SOME OF THEM, SHUT UP AND LET ME—" And then there were two.
Regulus flicked his hand. Felix’s head flew clean off.
Sigh. Regulus Sighed. “Look what you made me do.” He said as the head of Felix Argyle rolled like an Antoinette.
Subaru, through it all, was frozen with shock.
Shock.
For Regulus Corneas had remembered, he was Regulus Corneas.
The Archbishop of Greed.
There was a massacre here. Blood everywhere. Funny. In another time, this church would’ve been filled with worshippers, fanatically praying to Subaru for forgiveness as the Taygetan Scourge ripped through the continent, casting humanity in it’s pale shadow. And in another life, Subaru would’ve saved Emilia, Saved these women, who now lay bleeding at the stumps, in a great massacre, a numbered’ holocaust of proportions in the tens. Or perhaps the hundreds, and through the steaming puddles of blood, everexpanding to cover the rug, the tiles, the flowers of the wedding, there was an irony.
[Natsuki Subaru] had been in this world for only a few hours. And in those few hours, he had now lead to the deaths of atleast a hundred people.
And he was too shocked to even comprehend. Shock. Like lighting to the soul. Ravenous shock. What have I done? And. What do I do now?
And Regulus stared at Subaru once more.
“Look what you did. Look. What. You Did.”
The First Second came and went.
Subaru tried not to look.
Regulus flicked his finger and Subaru’s arm flew clean off.
PAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN…
He screamed.
And went.
“Do you feel guilt? Sadness? For what you have done?” He said.
“Natsuki Subaru is how you introduced yourself. So. Natsuki. Tell me. How do you feel?”
Subaru did not respond. Mercifully, the mind-numbing pain left him mindlessly screeching.
IT HURTS. IT HURTS.
IT HURTS SO MUCH.
“Two hundred and Ninty One Wives. Dead. 271, 231, 32, 21, 53, And, 79, You killed them. You.”
Regulus tried to send a wave of compressed, time-stopped air at Subaru’s skull, but something stopped him.
“Huh. What a strange feeling. I… I’ve never felt this feeling before.”
“You killed them. And I feel something.”
“I feel something.”
Subaru, for his part, managed to regain some semblance of silence as the pain savaged his mind.
He continued to hyperventilate.
“Thank you, Natsuki Subaru, for making me feel something.” Regulus Corneas said, And in the next moment, Natsuki Subaru’s head was no longer on his neck.
“And Goodbye.”
And now it was falling.
And now it was on the ground.
And now his eyes saw one last thing.
That Regulus Corneas’s shoes were soaked in blood.
Subaru’s world went black.
And then there was one.
Three seconds after Subaru died,
Regulus’s wave of compressed-time-stopped air did not stop once it sliced through Subaru’s neck.
It continued on.
Now you must understand how a church is usually constructed. Specifically, how a dome is constructed in a church. A dome requires four grand pillars. Look at the Dome of the Megale Ekklesia. Four pillars. One dome.
That blade of compressed, Time-stopped air ripped into one of the pillars. It sliced through a loadbearing component, and the bricks shattered.
The column detached from it’s base and began to collapse.
The dome cracked and tumbled next.
Regulus, for his part, still believed himself completely invurnerable, despite the strange feeling of… pain… he had felt when he decapitated Subaru.
So he did not comprehend why his existence ended in the next moment. The Dome of a Cathedral commited one final holy act, even in destruction, and crushed Regulus Corneas under the weight of it’s masonry.
And then there were none.
\\\
“W-Where am I?”
[Natsuki Subaru] found himself in a black, miasmatic nothingness.
There were two other figures in the room. One was a being of pure blackness.
The other sat in a large chair.
That figure on the chair looked quite sad.
And confused.
One could describe her expression as sonder.
“Subaru?” She beckoned. There was an undertone of care in the voice. As though she did not understand what had occurred, but still wished to help.
“Who are you?” Subaru asked.
“My name is Tella.” She said.
“Are you the goddess who summoned me here?”
“I… suppose I am.”
“Im dead. Am I not?”
“…”
“…Yes.”
“Oh.”
“…”
“…”
“Come here. Subaru.”
Subaru went over there. The chair was large enough for the two of them. There were thick covers, bedcovers, on Satella’s lap and shoulder, covering half of her body at a seatbelt angle.
“Sit with me.”
Satella did not quite know what had occurred.
From her perspective, Subaru had started the loop and had gone to converse with Al.
Nothing wrong, right?
Subaru would just…
Do that.
Again.
And again.
Until he got what he wanted.
It hurt.
It really did hurt.
Watching him die.
Over and over.
For money.
For Shareholder value.
Throwing his life away.
Like a tool.
It hurt.
A lot.
There was not enough water here to nourish both the shadows of the garden, and the tears of the gardener.
What had occurred when Al and Subaru collided was,
It was confusing.
One moment, Subaru was bumbling into a conversation without a care in the world,
And in the next moment, without transition, his eyes gained a weight of monotony. Of certainty. Of expectation. Of the ravenous expectations of the true loop. Eyes filled with the weight of expectation, built on piles of failed loops. Eyes filled with both emptiness, and determination.
And a hatred for Aldebaran.
Satella was not stupid. She could understand that something had occurred between them. In that instantaneous moment, something had forever changed.
But this was not Return By Death.
And Satella was no mind-reader.
Subaru proceeded to, with perfection honed by thousands of deaths, precisely kite the Archbishop of Gluttony to his location. Not once did he leave from where he stood, indicating that he was trapped.
When the Archbishop of Gluttony arrived, he offered up his memories to the Bishop. To which the Bishop, starved of memories, ravenously consumed.
What happened next was something Satella could not have predicted. Subaru reverted to how he was in the first moment he arrived in Lugunica.
His memories of Luguncia had been scrubbed.
And the spark which returned to his eyes.
It was Beautiful.
A pure spark. His eyes were wide with the curiosity and wonder and awe of the little schoolchildren discovering the wide, wide world. It was pure. Pure wonder for the world around him. It was expectant. Expecting a better world. A better world to the monotony of the old.
It was something to be protected.
Here he was only 17.
Satella remembered something.
That she would rather die. Than let that spark die out again.
Satella was without literacy. But she wasn’t stupid.
She knew that her Natsuki Subaru, The one who called out to her, who killed himself over and over, just to communicate, would never willingly throw his memories away without knowing they’d be restored.
The spark would die. It was inevitable.
…But could she rekindle it?
“Who are you to me?” Subaru asked.
The question stung.
“I… I’m your… Benefactor. I suppose.”
Subaru paused.
Satella beckoned for him to sit next to her.
So he did.
At first they were at a respectable distance.
Subaru broke the silence.
“Whos that?” And he pointed at Envy.
“She’s… A squatter.”
“AISHTERU!” Screamed the squatter.
“I… Love you?” Subaru echoed. “to you? So shes a lesbian?”
“Heavens no!” Said Satella. “Its more of a verbal tic. As in, that’s all she can say.” Satella clarified.
“Like a character that can only say one thing over and over again? Like Groot or Space?”
“Yeah, Something like that.”
“I see.”
“Aishteru.”
“…”
“…”
“I died.”
“I know.”
“The weird white man who called himself Regulus cut my head off.”
“I wish that didn’t happen to you.”
“I didn’t hurt.”
“Im glad.”
“What was that place I got sent to?”
“It was a city called Priestella, in a place called Lugunica.”
“Lugoonika?” He said.
“No. Lugunica.” Satella clarified. “The accent is guhnihka. I think.”
“Goonika. Hah. Goon.”
“Subaru. That’s not funny and you know it.”
“Do you know about my life? Before I got summoned and… died so suddenly…?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve seen it all?”
“Most of it.”
“Even that time?”
“I looked away. Don’t worry.”
“Did you?”
Satella blushed.
“Your secret is forever safe with me.”
Subaru blushed. “Pervert.”
“You’re the pervert.” She responded. “Cant believe you used her panties to—”
“Nope! We’re not having this conversation anymore!”
“…”
“…”
The two turned to look at one another.
And Subaru broke the silence.
“What was the deal with that Catboy on that Regulus Guy’s shoulder? Why did he know me?”
“You lost your memories. Partially. That was why he recognized you.”
“Partially?”
“Was there any transition between you being summoned and the moments before you were summoned?”
“No, why?”
“Then every memory after your summoning but before the moment you lost your memories was taken.”
“I see. So then what was that note, then?”
“Past you was cruel.”
“Past me?”
“The handwriting on your note. It was yours.”
“Huh?”
“You wrote that note for yourself, knowing fully that you were about to lose your memories.”
“It was intentional?”
“I believe so.”
“But why?”
“I do not know.”
“And what about the Health Potion. Why didn’t it work?”
Satella winced.
“Past you… Really was cruel…” She started to tear up. She hadn’t cried like this in a while.
Something about this situation was wrong. That Subaru would… do this… to an innocent version of himself.
It was wrong.
So wrong.
So fucking wrong.
“What do you mean?”
“That vial was a vial of poison.” She spoke.
“WHAT!?” Subaru boomed. “That was POISON?!”
“Yes.” Satella confirmed. Subaru grabbed at her collar.
“I KILLED HIM! He was going to be fine WASN’T HE! I KILLED THAT KNIGHT! I. I. I DON’T WANT TO GO TO HELL! IM SORRY! IM SORRY! I—”
Satella grabbed him, and put him to sleep.
She wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him in tight. It was an embrace, with Subaru’s body brought ever closer to Satella’s.
“Subaru…” And she began to cry. “Subaru… “ And she began to sob.
And she sobbed and sobbed and
For this was too much.
Subaru had gone too far.
Subaru had hurt Subaru.
In the worst way imaginable.
Satella brought him in closer. Ever closer. Ever nearer towards her body. She needed his heat. She wanted him warm. Satella blushed, and considered the possibility, but did not go any further.
And she sobbed.
It was better that way. Satella pulled him in closer, ensuring as much of her skin contacted his as possible, but there was no lewdidity in the movement. They were warm, but not sweaty. She took the blanket, and covered themselves both.
She clung to him. And the unconscious Subaru seemed to reciprocate it.
And thus, they existed together. As close to one another as possible. Their warmths intertwined in the cavity under the cover. Satella sobbed. And they became as close to one another as possible, compressing evermore unto one another.
Two people together. As close as humanly possible, and then closer.
And Satella too, fell asleep.
When Subaru awoke, he found that he was on the couch alone. He held the vague memories of having been embraced through a horrible dream. He was under the covers.
A short distance away, Satella sat at a tea-table. She watched him with her peculiar eyes.
“Have you been watching me sleep?” Subaru asked.
“Yes.” Satella responded.
“Perv.” Subaru said. “I couldn’t help myself.” Satella responded. “You’re cute. You know?”
“You’re going to make me fall in love at this rate.” Subaru said.
“Please do” Satella said.
“…Please do? Wait… are you implying what I think you mean?”
“Perchance.”
And Subaru blushed.
“That Vial. Was it meant for me?” Subaru asked.
“Yes. It was.” Satella said. “Past you wanted you to die. To be here.”
“But why?”
“That I do not know.”
“You’re not a mindreader, are you?”
“Uwah! Such lewd thoughts in that head of yours.”
“I see.”
“…”
“Return By Death.” Satella said. “Is an ability without restriction.”
“What?”
“Subaru, The Subaru that… tricked you… abused it constantly. It is an ability which returns him, you, through time.”
“An ability, which returns one through time?”
“The activation condition being death.”
“How… Awful. He… Abused it?”
“Yes.”
“Was I insane?”
“Too sane.”
“Do you perchance have a relationship with me?”
“More than that.”
“Did we love eachother?”
“Yes.”
“Did it hurt?”
“…”
“To see me do that?”
“…”
“…”
“Yes.”
“…”
“…”
“Im sorry.”
“…”
“…
“My name is Satella. Call me Tella. I love you. Subaru. But I do not forgive you.”
“Lack of Forgiveness Forgiven. What I did was unforgivable, Wasn’t it?”
“Yes. But I cant forgive myself for doing it to you.”
“To him.”
“To you.”
“I forgive you. Then. Tella. For giving me the thing that made me do unforgivable things.”
“You’re going to make me cry. Subaru.”
“Don’t cry.”
“I’ll try not to. But if I do, would you be my hankerchief?”
“Past-future me is an Asshole. Making such a beautiful girl as yourself cry all over me.”
“A Beautiful asshole.”
“Wait. You said you’ve been watching me this entire time, right?”
“Yes I have.”
“So you’ve seen my…”
“I stand by my statements.”
“Pervert.”
“I love you.”
“That letter destined to myself said to never abuse it. And I didn’t. But he did.”
“Why?” Why would he write such a thing?”
“I do not know.”
“Is there anything you do know?”
“Your cruel. Subaru. You’re breaking my heart.”
“Apolgies.”
“Forgiven. My star.”
“So it was like that? When I had my memories?”
“I Would’ve liked it to go further. You did love me. But you also loved many other worldly things. Money was one of them. He threw himself away, over and over, for money. You did. I still love you.”
“Should I regain those memories, I’ll try my best to value my life. Then.”
“…I’ve heard that from you so many times now. It makes me want to cry every time I hear it.”
“Oh fuck. Do I lose my memories of being in this place between places?”
“You do.”
“So I’ll forget this all as well.”
“You will.”
“How many times have I broken that promise?”
“Too many to count.”
“Can I hug you. Satella?”
“Please do.”
She needed that.
“…”
“…”
“So I took my own memories away, and tried to deprive myself of… my ability that I… abused?”
“And then you were dead.” Satella said.
“But what was the end goal? Why put me through this?” He asked.
“And that I do not know. I don’t know. It hurts that I don’t know.”
“Will my memories be restored, then?”
“I don’t know.”
The Shadow Garden began to crack.
“Is our time running out here?”
“It is.”
“It was nice to meet you, Tella.”
“It was nice to see you again, Subaru.”
Time was running out.
“So this is it?” Subaru asked as the darkness of the garden slowly filled with light.
“I suppose we shall see what Subaru’s grand plan will equate to.” Satella paused and looked at Subaru.
“Aishteru.” Said envy.
“I did not change the checkpoint. You should be going back in time to just before you set the trap for yourself. Before you had your memories taken.”
“So I’ll get my memories back?”
Satella paused.
“I don’t know.” She said.
There were but a few cracks before the inevitable shatter.
They were standing now.
“Theres one final thing I need to tell you, Subaru.”
“What is it?”
“Come here.”
“…”
“Closer.”
So he went closer.
“I don’t want the squatter to listen to it.” “Lean in.”
“Is it just me or is it getting—”
And perhaps she had a bit of help from a few unseen hands to gently caress his head into compliance.
For she left one nice peck upon his cheeks,
While he turned into a blushing mess.
And the Shadow Garden shattered.