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Ethari placed down his hammer and headed back outside. Sure enough, the lotus still floated. Runaan’s lotus. Tears started to form in his eyes and streak down his cheeks, his heart pounding in his chest. It was impossible for Runaan to be alive. It had been two years. It was as he said, that the enchantment had grown weak and worn off. However, none of the other lotuses floated. Could it be…? The lotus spun in the water, shining like a magnificent star. In the water, Ethari could still see the sunken lotuses. All a reminder of the lives lost for revenge. “An eye for an eye.” But the price of revenge? It was broken families, broken kingdoms, and too much energy all in the name of a “better world”. Perhaps peace would have been found if the mission was to raid the castle rather than to kill the king and his heir. War never had any winners. The mission had found the dragon prince, but at what cost?
The tinker fell to his knees as he choked on his sobs. He reached out a calloused hand in the water, beckoning the lotus to come to him. His hands were gentle despite their many scars and rough skin as he lifted the lotus out of the water and onto the side of the pond. Ethari wiped his hand on his clothes as the lotus shone brightly and small sparks came off of it. They often did that in order to celebrate a successful mission. When he had lifted Rayla’s out of the water, it had been bittersweet. But this? This was rotten. The life of the man he had given his heart to had been lost far too early. Ethari’s reflection in the water rippled as a tear fell from his face. When the water settled, a figure stood behind him. Runaan stood there, smiling. Ethari whipped around to see him but… all that stood behind him was the shadows as the sun began its descent.
Shakily, Ethari looked back down at the lotus. A part of Ethari, the sentimental part, wanted to keep the lotus as a keepsake of the sacrifice Runaan had made. But the other, the angry part, wanted to break every last piece of the lotus. Of course, breaking the lotus would be meaningless compared to the shattered pieces of his heart that were barely stitched together. His husband, his daughter, his life, the promise that Runaan had broken... All the lotus was to Ethari was a reminder. A reminder that Runaan would never return to him, that his heart would never return to him. Even if Rayla was able to reunite Xadia, she was still banished from the Silvergrove. Ethari only had himself. But if Runaan was alive…?
Ethari stood up, the lotus in his hands. The flower was light but, somehow, Ethari felt the weight of all of his grief in this single object. After everything… After two years of coming to terms with his husband’s death, one flower was able to bring back the pang of pain that he felt when he watched it sink that fateful night. It had taken all of who he was to accept that Runaan was dead. He was one of the greatest assassins that the Silvergrove had. It then took even more of him to forgive Rayla. Deep down he had known that he needed Rayla just as much as she needed him. Ethari was glad, however, that Rayla lived although she wasn’t able to stay.
Even as the sun cast a gorgeous hue of orange and pink across the sky, everything felt like a brush of paint had ruined a masterpiece. It had been weeks since Ethari had fully taken in his surroundings. He had focussed every part of himself on working. The swords he had made were the most gorgeous, but it was all for nothing, wasn’t it? Even then, Runaan often visited as a haunted ghost of past memories that lingered throughout the house. Whispers of loving words that had long been stained on the walls. Ethari sucked in a breath as he lowered the lotus back down onto the water. The water rippled under his fingertips as he let go of the lotus and watched it glide into the centre.
For the first time, Ethari cried with a smile. His hair fell in his face as he tilted his head back and looked on at the setting sun. For too long had Ethari been sad for something out of his control. Although it would always hurt, it was finally time to let Runaan go. It meant not crying any time he remembered Runaan, it meant smiling. Even if Runaan came back to haunt him, perhaps this time he would be able to push him away. Or, maybe Runaan would finally stop visiting as a ghost in every reflection that Ethari looked in.
The elf stood there, staring at the lonely lotus that glided away from him as the wind blew. After everything, Ethari would always love Runaan. One day, they would reunite and be able to finally grow old together. But today? Ethari swore to himself that he would live every day to the fullest for Runaan. Runaan would live on in Ethari’s memory and would go with him everywhere. And when they were finally reunited, Ethari would have mountains of stories to catch Runaan up on. So, perhaps it wasn’t letting go of Runaan. Perhaps it was holding him even closer. To live on in a world that Runaan had helped fix.