Chapter Text
The atmosphere was tense in the Hay-Nightingale household. Lucas and James were currently alone in the living room, not speaking a word to each other but the looks they were giving each other spoke for themselves.
Lucas had been trying his utmost to cause problems in James and his dads marriage, and just a couple of days ago Lucas had been in trouble for spraying graffiti at the Wreck and smashing a window. Things came to a head when Lucas made a remark about James and pushed him over, causing James to lash out and cause the cut Lucas was sporting.
Lucas sighed, pulling out his phone to check his messages. He was so engrossed in his phone and glaring at James that he didn’t notice Leah sneaking up behind him, reaching out to pull the hat off his head. “What’s with the hat? It’s not that cold in here!” Leah said, jokingly.
Lucas stood up quickly, using his hand to try and cover up the bruise as he made to snatch the hat back off his sister. “Maybe I just wanted to wear it!” He responded irritably, hoping she hadn’t noticed the fresh cut on his forehead.
“Or maybe you just wanted to hide the evidence that you’ve been in a fight!” Leah snapped back as she noticed the cut. “Don’t you think you’ve been in enough trouble lately?”
“I’ve not been in a fight, alright? I did it during football practice!” Lucas argued back as he finally got his hat back from his sister, catching the look of warning that James gave him from where he was watching in the kitchen area.
“Yeah right! I know for a fact that you missed the last practice, don’t think you can lie your way out of this.” Leah responded, watching as Lucas put the hat back on making sure it covered up the cut. “I don’t know what’s got into you lately.”
Before Lucas could respond, Ste appeared from his bedroom. “What’s with all the shouting? Can we not even get through Christmas Day without an argument?” Ste asked, exasperated.
Leah jumped straight in before Lucas could even begin to repeat his excuse. “Lucas has been fighting again,” she said.
“No I haven’t! Will you stop accusing me of fighting when I haven’t!” Lucas shouted. “I’m going out, I’m not being accused of something I haven’t done.” He stormed off towards the front door, grabbing his coat along the way.
Ste made to try and stop him, putting himself in front of the door to try and stop him leaving. “Tell me what happened then,” Ste demanded. “This is supposed to be a time for family, you’re not going anywhere.”
“I did it during football practice, not that anyone believes me!”
“I do,” James said, hoping to defuse the situation before Lucas tells them what really happened. “If he wants to go out, let him. He might have a clearer head when he comes back.”
Lucas huffed, dodging around Ste and making for the front door.
“Lucas, wait!” Leah called after him, following him towards the front door. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to accuse you like that! I’m just worried about you getting yourself into trouble!”
Lucas stormed out the house, followed a couple of seconds later by Leah who tried to follow after him. “Lucas, where are you going?” She shouted after her brother, to no avail. She sighed, watching him as he rushed away from the house. She knew deep down that nothing was going to convince him to come home yet.
“Leah? Is everything okay?”
She turned back around, noticing Dillon who must have been walking passed and saw what had happened. “Apart from Lucas getting into a fight and denying it? Oh yeah everything’s perfect.” Leah responded sarcastically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s not your fault. Lucas has got a cut on his forehead, he’s trying to say it’s from football practice but I know he didn’t go to the last practice.”
“Do you want me to try and talk to him? He might listen to me, he might tell me what really happened.” Dillon asked. He knew there was something bothering Lucas and he had his suspicions, but he wasn’t about to tell Leah what those suspicions were. That had to come from Lucas himself.
“Oh would you, that would be great, thanks!” Leah said in relief. “He might tell you what’s going on with him, he never tells me anything, or Dad for that matter.”
“I’ll go and speak to him, I’ll text you when I find him.”
Dillon walked around the village looking for him, checking out the usual places the teens hung out at. He eventually found him sitting on the bench in the folly, so before he let Lucas know he was there he texted Leah to say he was with him but not where they were. He knew Lucas wouldn’t want any of his family coming to the folly, that’s why he’d left the house in the first place.
Dillon approached him slowly, not knowing whether he would want company or not. He noticed a flask in his hand which he suspected had alcohol in. Lucas looked up as he came into his vision, tensing up as though he was ready to do another runner.
“If you don’t want me here I can go,” Dillon said, stopping a few metres away from Lucas. “Leah said you’d run out the house, is everything okay?” He didn’t expect to get an answer from him straight away, Lucas wasn’t exactly known for telling people his problems.
As expected Lucas shrugged his shoulders, drinking from the flask before looking down. Dillon sighed, slowly walking up to where he was sitting. “Mind if I sit down?”
Lucas shook his head, shuffling along the bench to make room for him. Dillon sat down, letting them sit in silence for a few minutes. “Why are you here? I’m surprised you want to be anywhere near me after everything I've done lately.”
“Because I know deep down that’s not the real Lucas,” Dillon responded. “I know there’s something bothering you, so whatever you say remains between us. That’s if you want to tell me, but you can’t carry on like this Lucas.” He didn’t want to push him too hard, he knew if he did that it would cause more harm than good.
Lucas slumped back against the wall behind him, fiddling with the lid on the flask. “What does it feel like to be you?” Lucas asked, looking at Dillon. He looked back at him questioningly, unsure of where the conversation was going. “I mean being pansexual? Do you not worry about what everyone thinks about you?”
“I don’t care what anyone thinks, I accept who I am. Anyone who doesn’t accept me isn’t worth knowing.”
“Even your Mum?” Lucas asked.
“I don’t care whether she accepts me or not, that’s her problem not mine.” Dillon responded bluntly. “I’ve got friends and Misbah who accept me, I don’t care what anybody else thinks.” Dillon hesitated for a moment, not wanting Lucas to push him away when he seemed to be ready to talk. “What’s this really about Lucas?”
“Sometimes I just -” he hesitated for a few seconds, seeming to think about what he was going to say. “I just wish it was me, Leah and Dad.”
“What about James?” Dillon asked. Lucas’s face dropped at the mention of James. He reached up to pull his hat further down, seeming to be making sure it covered his cut. Dillon’s blood ran cold, not wanting to think of the possibility of what that meant. But he had to ask, even just for his own peace of mind. “Did James hit you?”
The look of panic that Lucas sent his way seemed to confirm his suspicion. “No!” Lucas replied unconvincingly. “I did it at football practice!”
Dillon scoffed in disbelief. “The same football practice I go to? Yeah, that excuse doesn’t work for me.” Lucas looked at him in horror, knowing that his lies were unravelling right in front of him. “If James has hit you, we need to tell your Dad.”
Dillon made to get up, but before he could get very far Lucas grabbed onto the arm of his coat, pulling him back. He almost fell on top of Lucas who leant away from him, throwing his hand against the back of the bench to stop himself falling on top of him. He stopped where he was for a couple of seconds, noticing Lucas looking down at his lips. He could feel the tension in the air as Lucas seemed to slowly close the distance between their faces.
Dillon pulled away before they could touch lips, knowing now wasn’t the right time, especially with Lucas having been drinking. He sat back down next to Lucas, who looked almost disappointed. “You wanted to kiss me, didn’t you? I won’t tell anyone if you did, I promise.”
Lucas swallowed nervously, nodding hesitantly.
“Okay,” said Dillon. “The only reason I pulled away was because you’re drunk. I don’t want you to rush into anything you're not ready for. I wasn’t rejecting you.” Lucas looked at him in relief, seeming to accept his explanation.
“I should go home,” said Lucas almost reluctantly. “Dad and Leah are gonna be wondering where I am.” He didn’t want to go home, but he couldn’t avoid it forever.
“Alright, if you’re sure that’s what you want. But I want you to promise that if James even threatens to hit you, you call me straight away or tell your dad.” Dillon didn’t want him to go home to the same house that James lived in. But there wasn’t much he could do about that right now. “If you want to, we can meet up here again later. Then we can talk about what happened before. Text me if you want to meet me okay? No pressure.”
Lucas gave him a slight smile, nodding his head. “Okay,” he said quietly. “I’ll text you in a bit.”
Lucas reluctantly stood up, walking slowly towards the exit of the folly and back home. Before he left the folly, he looked back at Dillon and smiled. Dillon smiled back at him before he sighed, knowing if he was right with his suspicions about Lucas being gay, there was a long way for Lucas to go before he accepted himself for who he was.
After Dillon had been sitting there for a few minutes thinking of ways to help Lucas, there was a rush of footsteps as Ste entered the folly, clearly looking for his son.
“Dillon, have you seen our Lucas?” He asked, rushing over to him. He was beside himself with worry. “He ran out the house before, no one’s seen him.”
“Yeah. He was with me a few minutes ago,” Dillon said. “I think I know the truth about how he got the cut.” Dillon knew he was betraying Lucas’s trust, but he couldn’t keep something like this from him. Ste needed to know whether Lucas liked it or not.
“Are you gonna tell me then, or just leave me hanging?” Ste said desperately. “If you know who he’s been fighting with I need to know!”
“I think James hit him. We were talking about your family, and when I mentioned James, his face dropped and he pulled his hat down. When I said we had to tell you, he panicked.”
Ste looked at Dillon in horror, hardly daring to believe what he was being told. “Nah, James wouldn’t hit him! He must be lying! He’s not been getting on with James for a while, he’s been trying to cause problems in our marriage!”
Ste turned away from Dillon, running his hands over his head trying to keep his anger in check.
“I don’t think he’s lying Ste! I think he’s scared of James, I honestly do!” Dillon said adamantly, hoping that Ste would believe him.
Ste turned back around to face Dillon, clearly not believing a word he just heard. “I can’t stand here and listen to this, I’m going home. You can’t go accusing someone of hitting a child with no proof.” He turned away from Dillon, heading back towards the village.
“You can’t just ignore this, Ste!” Dillon shouted after him desperately. “He’s your son!” Dillon threw his hands up in frustration, knowing there wasn’t anything he could do unless Lucas talked.
————————
Back at the house, Lucas had just walked through the front door to find James on his own. “Where's Dad and Leah?” He asked, hoping they’d just be in their bedrooms. He walked towards the bedrooms, hoping to avoid another confrontation.
“Gone out looking for you after your little tantrum before.” James responded, not hiding his anger with Lucas. “Why can’t we just have one day without any drama caused by you? It’s Christmas Day for goodness sake! You’ve caused nothing but trouble lately. Don’t you walk away from me when I’m talking to you!” James snapped at him.
Lucas stopped in his tracks, already standing by the doorway leading to the bedrooms. “I wouldn’t be trying to avoid you if you hadn’t hit me,” Lucas said, trying to act braver than he felt. “You should be glad I didn’t tell Dad what you did!”
To Lucas’s shock, James stormed across the room to stand directly in front of him, leaving Lucas backed up against the wall. “You wouldn’t dare! He’d never believe a little trouble maker like you!” James said. He grabbed hold of the collar of Lucas’s shirt, shoving him against the wall.
“Get off me!” Lucas shouted in panic. His heart was pounding as he desperately tried to push James away but he wasn’t budging.
Just as Lucas was starting to lose hope, the front door banged open and Ste stormed in. “What the hell's going on here? Get your hands off my son!” James let go of Lucas, who stood against the wall in shock. “Did you hit my son?” Ste demanded, storming over to them both. “Lucas, did he hit you and cause the cut?” He put his hands on Lucas’s shoulders, needing reassurance that he was alright.
Lucas swallowed, struggling to hold back his tears. “Yes,” he whispered shakily.
“Get out,” Ste said to James angrily. “Now!”
James hesitated for a second, before leaving the house. As he was leaving, Leah walked through the front door. “Dad, what’s going on?” She watched in shock as Lucas broke down in his Dads arms. “Lucas, what’s happened? You’re scaring me!”
“Can I tell her?” Ste asked, looking down at his son.
“Yeah, she’s gonna find out eventually.” Lucas said, trying to get his emotions under control.
“It was James who hit him. I came back to find him shoving Lucas up against the wall.” Ste said, walking over to the sofa to sit Lucas down.
“Oh my god, Lucas!” Leah said in shock, coming over and sitting down next to him, pulling him into a hug. “I hope you’ve kicked him out for good.” She asked Ste.
“Yeah, he’s gone,” said Ste firmly.
“Can I go to my room?” Lucas asked, desperate to get away from the conversation.
“Yeah, sure.” Ste said. “I’ll be in here if you need me, okay?”
Lucas went to his room after Leah and Ste gave him a final hug. As he sat on the bed, he pulled out his phone, texting Dillon to see if they could still meet in the folly later. He got an instant reply, asking if he was okay and to meet him later whenever he was ready. Now all he had to do was find a way of sneaking out the house without his Dad or Leah noticing.
———————-
A few hours later after a quiet Christmas dinner, all was calm in the flat. Lucas could hear the shower running, and knew Leah was in her room as he could hear her music. He knew now was the perfect opportunity to sneak out. He put his hat back on and grabbed his coat, cautiously opening the door to check the coast was clear, which it was. There was no one in sight.
He left the house, closing the front door quietly so as not to alert Ste or Leah. He made his way towards the folly, texting Dillon to tell him to meet him there.
Not long after he sat down to wait, Dillon turned up. “Hey, I didn’t know whether you’d wanna meet up or not. Leah texted me to tell me what happened. Are you alright?” Dillon sat down next to him, visually checking he was okay.
“Yeah I’m fine. He didn’t hit me again if that’s what you mean. Dad turned up before he could do anything.” Lucas reassured him. “Thank you for coming, I just had to get out of the house.”
“Well, I’m just glad you feel like you can talk to me,” Dillon said. “Like I said, anything you tell me remains between us.” Dillon waited for Lucas to say something about what happened a few hours ago, but he knew he’d have to be the one to bring it up. “Can we talk about what happened earlier? Because I feel like you wanted to kiss me, but I stopped you because you’d been drinking.”
Lucas knew this was coming, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what had nearly happened. He wasn’t exactly being subtle earlier with his intentions, it was no wonder Dillon had his suspicions at the time. He couldn’t keep lying to himself, it wasn’t doing him any favours. He knew he wouldn’t get any judgement off Dillon, he was a great example of being happy and accepting who he was. Now was the time for Lucas to be brave, no more burying his head in the sand.
Lucas took a deep breath, psyching himself up. It was now or never, and it seemed Dillon had already worked it out for himself. “I did want to kiss you, I think I might be gay,” Lucas said, looking up at Dillon for his reaction. He knew Dillon wasn’t going to be disappointed with him, but he didn’t expect him to look at him with pride. “I’ve never liked a girl as more than friends before, and I think I like you that way.” Lucas looked down, not wanting to see Dillon’s reaction in case he didn’t feel the same way. The doubts were already starting to creep in.
“Lucas,” Dillon whispered. He waited for Lucas to look back at him. “I think I feel the same about you.”
Lucas started to lean in slowly, and Dillon let him. He didn’t want to rush Lucas into something he wasn’t ready for. Lucas hesitated when he got within a few inches, so Dillon cautiously closed the gap while keeping his eyes on Lucas’s reaction. Finally their lips touched, and Lucas seemed to relax into it.
After a couple of seconds, Dillon pulled away. “Was that okay?” He enquired. “If it wasn’t and you’re not ready -”
“It was perfect,” Lucas responded, smiling back at him. “I wish I’d been braver sooner and told you how I really felt, I was just scared you wouldn’t like me back. We could have been doing that sooner if I’d been honest with you.” Lucas looked away blushing in embarrassment at his admission.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Dillon reassured him, as Lucas looked back at him. “If you want to, we can try and make a go of things. I’m not going to put any pressure on you, and whatever happens we’ll keep it secret until you’re ready to tell people.” Dillon reached out for Lucas’s hand, squeezing it in reassurance.
“I’d like that, as long as you’re okay with it.” Lucas responded. “I don’t feel ready yet for everyone to know, I don’t think I can handle people staring at me.” He knew he was a long way away from people finding out, he’d only just started to accept who he was himself. Being honest with Dillon was a huge deal for him.
“I promise, it stays between us. We go at your pace, okay?” Dillon said.
Before Lucas could respond, his phone beeped with a text. It was Leah, asking him where he was and telling him James was back at the house grovelling. “I can’t go home, not while he’s there,” Lucas said firmly, showing Dillon the text.
“You can stay at mine tonight,” Dillon said firmly. “In the guest room obviously.” He was quick to confirm, catching the look on Lucas’s face. “I don’t think you’re ready for sharing a bed just yet.” Lucas looked at him in relief, smiling gratefully.
“Will you not need to check with Misbah first?” Lucas asked.
“She’s working late tonight, she won’t even know you’re there.” Dillon reassured him. “So, wanna stay at mine tonight?”
“Yes please, and thank you,” Lucas said, reaching out to pull Dillon into a hug. As they pulled away they both stood up, and started the walk back into the village. Lucas knew he had a long way to go, and with Dillon by his side he had someone he could rely on who would help him be comfortable in who he was.