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So, what does one do in the afterlife?
"Aaalright, next please!" A revel deviless calls out, handing out papers to what looks to be an eye with bat wings, which carefully balances the documentation atop its head. Bobert shuffles forward rather awkwardly to the bank-esque teller.
The building exudes an air of 'this is scuffed, but it works for now' which then went forgotten. The walls are still a drab concrete gray, the only light sources inside the building are two flickering ceiling lights, and the bright yellow studs right next to the demons working behind the desk. There's a cold wind blowing through a half-open window out front, but the room is so poorly ventilated that if Bobert was here during the day, he's sure he would be sweltering. The waiting room benches are discoloured, lets out creaks on the slightest movement, and are ultimately rendered obsolete as there are stanchions with velvet rope which automatically lead to people standing up queuing instead of sitting down. The three demonic registrars seem blissfully unaware of how deathly awkward it was, especially paired with the tense, confused silence of half a dozen people waiting for a turn.
"Goood evening!" The deviless smiles, pulling out forms from a desk and making sure she looks presentable before greeting him with a smile too genuine to be the usual customer service one. He sits down on an actually good chair this time, opposite the woman. "Welcome to Duelshire, the land of dead, history, and card games! I hope your resurrection was pleasant, hm? I'm Felicia, former trainer of the Umberlord's Pits, and I'll be assisting you in setting up a life in the afterlife! I'm assuming that's what you're here for?" At 'afterlife, the devil makes magical yellow sparks from her hands, twinkling as they fizzle out. Bobert nods at this slowly, and the devil beams. "Faantastic! Let me just prep your citizenship application and documentation, excuse the mess we're trying to refurbish but the Doomspire taking out Old Duelshire really put a limit on our resources, our apologies. Are you interested in the complementary exposition of where we are while I search for the files?"
The man nods his head. He's pieced together a bit during his five or so hours of meandering about the afterlife and generally being conscious again, but it would help to get his facts straight from a creditable source. The only thing he remembered beyond just waking up on a bench in the middle of a street on a floating island was that he lived a decent-ish life in Javion before suddenly being mauled by red-star-eyed shadow creature that came from the moon while on his way to work. He'll have to ask about what those things actually were soon.
"Right you are! Ahem...
"Likely a few millenia after your life - unless you lived through the thing? An event known as the cataclysm has ended the known universe. We are currently in Duelshire! The afterlife, for lack of a better term, a city that exists beyond the end." She manages to extricates papers from a sheaf, ordering them in layers. "As I've mentioned, I'm here to help you fill out the paperwork to get quick access to citizenship and documentation so you can get started on living in heaven! Or, what's left of it, anyway. I promise- Duelshire is much less bleak-looking than here! It's just that our higher ups have higher priorities, and... well, you know how it goes. Do you? I hope you do. You probably do!
"Aha, got it...! right, now if I could have your name, pronouns, and era of origin?"
"...I'm Bobert,"
"from fortnite." Someone mutters behind him, interrupting the train of thought..
Bobert turns around. He's face to face with the person queueing behind him, who looks startled that his vocal stim was audible.
It's a man around his age with white hair and sunglasses. He's wearing a tropical shirt, creased in some places, the sleeves barely hiding the outline of muscled curvature. Probably went through the same wandering as he did. The face is smooth, chiseled almost. The hair flows down, just messy enough to be at the tastefulness's peak.
They make eye contact, the other man lifting his sunglasses up. Bobert blinks, staring back
The white-haired man raises a thumbs-up questioningly, as if apologising if he disturbed something. Bobert gives a thumbs up in return; pointing then to his clothes. A grin breaks out on both their faces, a beacon in the fog of confusion.
" -ir? sir, if we could, ahem, actually get back to getting you registered as a citizen of the afterlife, that would be very appreciated?"
Bobert turns back to see the still-smiling devil with his forms. Right, almost forgot.
He keeps the mental image of the nicest thing he's seen all day neatly tucked in his mind's folder of good memories, in case he spots him again someday.
Day three of living in the afterlife. Bobert unlocks the door to his apartment balcony, yawning. The interior is a bit barren, but its around the same quality as his old Javion rooms. Dawn has just risen, bringing the scent of fresh air.
"Close that door. The fresh air brings hope, anathema to the darkness of my soul."
Of course, government-issued housing is hardly grandiose, but considering how low the rent is compared to what he's usually used to, having a roommate is something he can live with.
"I'm Bobert." Bobert says with a healthy dose of snark, before closing the door behind him, taking in the view. It's a bunch of floating islands, with the the most developed area being the main island with the HQ and train station. Thankfully, his apartment was on one of the islands visible to the Visitors, meaning the Industry actually gives a damn about making it, or at least the outside, presentable.
He closes his eyes, enjoying the peaceful stillness of the afterlife, ignoring EdgeTheTimelord's angry ranting about 'how dare you disrespect someone born of the darkest abyss' behind him. Slowly, he's acclimating to the serenity. He can get used to this all, he thinks silently, edgy Old Robloxian roommate included.
"From fortnite?" Someone calls out to him from the balcony of the rooms right beside his.
"I'm Bobert!" Bobert's eyes widened when it landed on the white haired man from a few days back, waving.
"From fortnite!" They wave back, ecstatic.
"I'm Bobert?" He asks. "From fortnite!" The other accepts, waving him over.
"Ugh, I could hear you talking from here. The shine of friendship sickens me to infinity, threatening to drown my sanity in the maelstrom of feelings that could never inhabit me again." EdgeTheTimelord says, head on the sofa cushion, flicking through channels on the living room TV, as Bobert re-enters the living room.
"I'm Bobert."
"Shut the frick up. Ugh, I might take my chances with the main island's overnight rooms at this point." She groans into the sofa as Bobert skips past her, en route to a hangout.
Of all the crazy mishappenings being in the conglomeration of eras will inevitably bring, Bobert can definitively say Duelshire is a large improvement to his past life.
Unlike in Javion, the grocery stores here are clean. It's packed with people doing their shopping on the weekends with the Visitors away, but they aren't clamouring, it isn't cramped to the brim with shoppers.
"WILL. THIS BE. ALL."
"I'm Bobert."
While waiting for the revel gargoyle to scan all his items, it's movements stuff and robotic, pausing every now and then to calculate the most efficient way to finish it's duties, Bobert looked outside.
It's a very animated scene, as is almost all of Duelshire. A cat scratches the fingers of a masked catgirl. Waterwheel-esque clay people watch the doves flying above. The gentle, colossal silhouette of what he thinks is called Nethercreep floats loftily, peacefully in the sky.
"WE. HAVE A. PROMO FOR YOUR. ENERGY. DRINK, THREE GET ONE. FREE."
Bobert thinks about it for a bit, before deciding Edge really should cut back on the unhealthy drinks. "I'm- "
"from fortnite!"
"Bobert!" Bobert grins, seeing Jonesy, the white haired man he hung out with all day yesterday, the one he locked eyes with during citizenship registry, on the queue immediately next to him, before resuming. "I'm Bobert."
"UNDERSTAND. ABLE."
The gargoyle continues scanning. Bobert, still smiling, looks back through the window.
A hatted, armoured red fellow is arguing in the middle of the square with a green man wearing an animal skull. He brandishes a gun from his cloak, which elicits in the caveman-looking man to grab a staff from his shawl, spectral green energy greeting the celestial red energ-
Oh.
Oh that's.
Oh that's Lord of the Federation. And that's the Harbinger of Ecocide. Are they still holding grudges after death?? Bobert peers through the glass to get a better look.
While the gargoyle scans the last few bits of produce, Bobert gets closer to the window, trying to listen to their shouting match.
"Creation averts it gaze from Cothran, due to it's leader's hideous FASHION SENSE!"
"So THAT's why the universe bowed before you, then? So they didn't have to endure looking at your UGLY FACE?!"
"As if you'd understand beauty if it shot you point-blank, Ptenda, though I'd be honoured to."
"Oh, proud star conqueror, how much room in your spaceship was devoted to fitting your big head?"
"I AM NOT LISTENING TO SOMEONE WHO'S BRAIN IS SO MINUTE THAT HE THINKS WEARING GOAT SKULLS ARE AESTHETIC!"
"I'M SORRY, BUT WHO'S WEARING THE UPSIDE-DOWN FISH BOWL AGAIN!?"
"TREE-HUGGER, IF THE ONLY THING IN MY HEAD WAS A DEAD GOLDFISH, I'D STILL HAVE MORE WORKING BRAIN CELLS THAN YOU!"
"If your head hadn't been transparent, I'd have thought it already was."
Azureless aims the gun forward, Ptenda preparing to block.
A supernovic light erupts from the blaster, the shot flying instantaneously- before a blinding darkness responds in kind, parrying the calamitous plasma shot into the sky with a sonorous gong.
The light flies upwards like a firework, and the confrontation between two old men is put on hold.
...
The world rumbles, as though it braces itself for impact. Bobert sees both cat and catgirl screech and flee the scene, the clay wheels speed off, the gentle giant from afar rotates as though to see what's happening.
Of all the ways Bobert can definitively say Duelshire is a large improvement to his past life, the conglomeration of eras will inevitably bring in crazed mishappenings.
"From fortnite- ?"
"I'M BOBERT!" Bobert grabs Jonesy by the shoulder, quickly forcing them both under a table with free samples as the sudden gravity increase brings with it gravitas and menacing stellar humming.
BOOOOMMM!
The ceiling explodes, concrete debris falling from above as the civil store devolves into pure madness to escape. Bobert holds tightly onto Jonesy, and he does likewise, as chunks of ceiling slam against the table.
"F- from fortnite- ?"
"I'm Bobert!" Bobert succinctly cuts off, curling his legs in, making sure they were definitely under the small table. Jonesy follows suit.
Lucky, because just as they did, a massive block crashes right where their feet were a second ago.
The sounds of crashing and melting and distress continues.
...
Eventually it stops, and Bobert takes a breather.
"...from fortnite." Jonesy breathes.
Bobert looks around, out of breath. They are thoroughly buried under debris- not completely though, as they can hear people outside, rallying others to dig through.
"Fortnite."
"I'm- "
Bobert looks to his right. With the fight or flight instinct subsiding, he feels red beginning to radiate off his face. Due to the tight, coffin like encasement, both men's legs curl up, thighs resting on each other. Any closer and they would be feeling each other's heartbeat - Bobert could swear he already is. His eyes wander over the other's face - pure, smooth unblemished skin. Dust swirls around serenely, the few cracks in the debris causing a radiant halo on Jonesy's smirking face.
Bobert sees Jonesy resting his head on the cold floor. Carefully, he moves his hand under him, Jonesy blinking a bit before letting the gesture happen.
... he's warm, they both think.
"Bobert."
"...pfft. From."
Not the worst way to stay trapped under rubble.
"La dee dee dee dum..." "hum hum. Hum hum."
Without question, the couple of the millenia, and the millenia soon to pass, had to go to the Evincar Shoda and her shadow.
It's the kind of secret that's only considered a secret because the attempt at secrecy is so earnest yet so pathetic it loops back to not being talked about in public out of pity. Every full moon, Hou Yi and his vassal would go to Duelshire's central plaza, just outside the train station, and in the absolute solitude, dance in the moonlight, humming any songs on their mind.
"La dee dee dee dum...!" "hum hum! Hum hum..."
Thing is, they're so self absorbed in each other that they don't realise the onlookers enjoying the show.
And that's how Bobert found himself listening to a hummed cover of Blue Danube, alongside Jonesy, who invited him. A few cheerubi are on flutes and mini-violins, playing along, snickering now and then at the fact they haven't been caught before genuinely getting into the waltz theming. A few Nightmares, visible from the animated eyes in the moving shadows, sway to the calm tempo like the darkness cast by flickering candles.
"Psst. From fortnite."
"I'm Bobert?" Bobert, eyes fixed on the waltzing lunar duo, turns around to Jonesy, seeing him extend his hand.
"From fortnite." Jonesy invites.
"I'm... I'm Bobert!" Bobert stammered.
Jonesy gestures to Yueliang and Hou Yi. It is abundantly clear that neither Evincar nor Rageborne are anything more than novices in dancing. Their footwork is less than stellar, their movements clumsy.
But their smiles are genuine. Radiant almost, in the darkness of the night.
There's a second of hesitation...
"La dee dee dee daaa..."
A hand is grabbed. Two step, two step,
"La da daaa..."
A clumsy twirl.
"La da daaa!"
Jonesy leans back with one foot in the air as the music swells, Bobert him in his arms.
"La da da,"
They share a moment, and it's as though the light shifts pink as they see each other.
"Da da,"
His face is so close, if he leaned forward just a bit-
"da- ! y- YOUR GRACE!"
"My lord!"
Bobert loses his balance from the sudden shriek from Yueliang. A sudden rumbling sweeps Jonesy off his feet.
Their faces are aligned in the trajectory of descent.
...
"...DID I INTERRUPT?"
Eclipse, Heir of Creation, Sculpted of Vecross, Eclipse, peeks at the two lovers from the edge, his eyes being the one to cast that light red glow.
At least Bobert could chalk off hallucinating from love. Of course, this doesn't mean much when both his eyes and lips are making contact with Jonesy's, but.
"Of- course not, my lord... Just startled to see your holiness here..."
"Y- yes, same here... I- I mean not to demean one of your pure creations!"
"I SEE. PERHAPS A SMALLER FORM WOULD HAVE SUFFICED FOR ME TO BE GETTING CLOSER."
The two men blink at each other as lunar drama unfolds in the background, their gazes unbroken.
"Closer?"
"I HAVE BEEN WATCHING FROM AFAR. YOU HAVE A CROWD, SURELY YOU WOULD NOT MIND?"
"We have a what- ?"
She sees the waving cheerubi, the shadows morphing up and down like strings as though fully entertained, and the sheepish, supportive looks of the miscellany who arrived while Bobert was distracted and looking away.
To be fair, with Jonesy not pulling away, and the kiss being the best thing he's tasted in both his lives, not being able to think of much else other than how handsome the man in front of him is... understandable, in his opinion.
The Evincar's face goes as red as the Moonbreaker's aura, her usual regality annulled by the fact she's looking like a flustered teen. The crowd disperses, and only when they realise they're being stated at do Bobert and Jonesy get their act together and get out.
Together.
Very few people chart their future in the afterlife. Most of them have already lived fulfilling lives, and labouring intensely after death sounds like a hellish proposition. That, and the odd serenity that Duelshire brings lulls many of their citizens to simply following what the events of the day will bring (because calmness doesn't mean stillness here in the end; no day goes by without something happening somewhere, and since everywhere and everywhen is condensed into these series of floating islands, happenings are abound).
Bobert is sitting with Jonesy at McIris, the occasional Visitor slipping in, before immediately leaving; after all, they don't seem to be able to order anything. They've both finished their meals, and they're enjoying the company of each other.
"From fortnite?"
"I'm Bobert." Bobert waves him off, eyes glancing around the restaurant, looking for a clear coast.
It's been a month they've lived in the afterlife, and hardly a day goes by without a few hours spent in each other's company. Laughing, chatting, being swept up in unfolding chaos. Though neither of them has said it aloud, Bobert isn't dumb in any sense. He's read romance slop before, and his afterlife overall is bearing a striking resemblance.
And in each of those 'romantic' (air quoted, both of them would be more than content on staying the best of friends) moments, it was always Jonesy who initiated. Even if Bobert had the final laugh.
So, just this once. Though he'd very happily take a forever friendship, he wouldn't object to soemthing more.
Finally, he sees Sandra leave McIris to do her usual Iris worship outside.
"I'm Bobert."
"From fortnite?"
"I'm Bobert." Bobert gestures to the lack of Sandra. If she was here, she'd probably break the two apart, citing that the 'only love and devotion in this sacred building, is love and devotion towards Iris'.
"...f- from fortnite?!"
Finally, he heard him stutter.
"I'm Bobert?" The man leans in, almost conspiratorially.
"...from fortnite." Jonesy reciprocates. The fact he wouldn't mind trying it out is sending Bobert's heart into overdrive from euphoria.
...
Mwwwwahh!!
...it's curt, and clearly neither of them have much experience in these matters.
But not everything has to be perfect, Bobert thinks as he feels heat radiating from both his cheeks and Jonesy's.
So, no. Bobert doesn't quite know what he wants to do in the afterlife. But something he does know.
He wants to hang out with the man currently sitting with him, making him smile like he's never done before.
"I'm Bobert."
"From fortnite."