Chapter Text
I woke up with the dreadfully familiar sensation of painful fullness in my head. It felt like my skull was pounding. I was in a blurry haze between sleep and wakefulness for what felt like an entire lifetime, before the sound of my sleeping room door opening finally dragged me from my uneasy slumber. I rolled over in bed, using one arm to prop myself up until I sat up. Another painful wave through my head nearly sent me back down into the pillow again, but I leaned back against the wall, struggling to focus on the short figure in my doorway. I finally recognized my Master, his eyes slightly narrowed in my direction. “Corde,” he greeted me softly. “Late, you are, to rise.” I blinked a few times, trying to ignore the way my body felt like it was in an oven and a freezer at the same time. “Sorry, Master,” I mumbled, pushing myself to the edge of my bed. “Hmm, sick, are you?” He asked. My initial instinct had been to say yes. But then, I realized, I'd probably be on bedrest for a few days. I didn't want to miss that much training! So I shook my head, refraining from wincing in pain as my head throbbed with the movement. “I'm fine,” I said dismissively. “Just groggy.” Yoda squinted suspiciously at me, but eventually gave a slight nod. “Hmm… Then training you have, yes?” I nodded eagerly, and my Master left me to get myself ready for the day. A fresh pair of Jedi robes would surely make me feel better, right? I exhaled as I secured my lightsaber hilt on my belt. Every breath was painful, as my throat felt dry and stung like I was swallowing thorns. It was better than laying around doing nothing, I tried to convince myself. Despite how much I wanted to collapse back in bed and sleep the sickness away, I forced myself out of my sleeping room and into the main area of our quarters.
Yoda was in the main room, standing by the door like he had been waiting for me. I nodded once in greeting. “So what are we doing today?” I asked, ignoring how my throat protested with every word I spoke. “Lightsaber practice, I think, yes,” Yoda answered, keeping his gaze on me. “Sure, are you, that not unwell you are, hmm?” He asked again. “Awful, you look, Corde.” I blinked, offering a scoff of mock offense. “Well thanks,” I replied with a roll of my eyes. “I'm fine, Master. Don't worry about me.” I made a confident move towards the door for extra effect, worried he'd change his mind. I didn't want to miss lightsaber training, and I certainly didn't want to be stuck in bed all day.
“Worry, I do not,” Yoda told me as he followed me out into the Temple halls. He summoned a hover chair, settling into it and letting it take him up until he was closer to my level. “But health, important is. Why we have a Healer Wing, that is!” I scoffed, waving a dismissive hand as I spun around to walk backwards while facing him. That action alone had my head spinning, but I tried to ignore it. “Yes well, I haven't been there yet since I was an Initiate! I'm not going to break that streak now after four years. I'm fine.” I tried not to think too hard on how I felt, given that there was a good chance he'd be able to sense it, instead turning back around to walk more steadily. I could feel his eyes on me, but he said nothing more as we made our way to the practice chambers. When we entered, I immediately recognized my best friend Votren already inside, flanking her Master and standing in the beginning stance of Vaapad. I barely noticed the difference between it and Juyo, but I had long since learned that Master Windu had specifically created Vaapad to counter the Dark Side effects of the original seventh form. As we entered the room, Votren glanced over at the door. I saw her eyes widen when she saw me, and she offered a subtle nod of greeting before focusing back on her lesson. Yoda hopped off his hover chair and took me across the practice chamber from my friend. I knew both Masters were fully aware of how close we were, despite all of the rules against attachment. It was common for us to train nearby, but very rarely did they allow us to combine lessons. I didn't mind. My head was still pounding and I felt like I'd swallowed a sparkfly. I didn't feel particularly like socializing with my friend today.
I turned to my Master as he faced me, stepping back a few paces. “Skilled, you are, in Ataru, Corde,” he began, setting his gimer stick against the wall before focusing his full attention on me. “Strong attacks, you make. But, learn to defend yourself, you must. Remember Form three, do you?” I nodded, ignoring again how my head screamed in protest. “Yes, Master, Soresu. Master Kenobi showed me a bit of it once. It's a defen-” I cut off as my throat tightened, and I had to duck my head and force back the chorus of coughs that wanted to rattle my body. “A defensive form,” I finished. My voice sounded weaker to my own ears. I didn't miss the squint from my Master, but he simply nodded. “Correct, you are,” he hummed. “And good against what, is Soresu, hmm?” I scrambled for the correct answer, trying to see through the growing haze in my brain. “Covered this, we have,” Yoda's voice prompted. He didn't sound impatient. But I could tell he was testing me. “Mm, yes, Master. Er… Blasters!” I finally announced, as the answer came to mind at last. “Good against a lot of blasters at once.” Yoda nodded. He lifted a hand, and from the back of the room came three training droids. They hovered in the air, offering a chorus of small beeps. “Demonstrate again, I will,” my Master told me. He withdrew his own lightsaber hilt, igniting it. A subtle flare of his hand sent the three droids fanning out in a circle around him. They began spinning circles around my Master, and within seconds, all three droids were firing their nonlethal blaster bolts.
I watched while Yoda expertly flung his lightsaber left and right, easily deflecting the small bolts. Instead of pinging off his blade like normal blasters would, these bolts were absorbed into the green flame. The lights dancing across my gaze began to disorientate me, and I had to look away to keep from getting too dizzy. By the time I looked up again, the droids had ceased their fire, and Yoda was watching me with a steady gaze. “Try now, yes?” He asked, and I refrained from groaning in discomfort as I nodded. My body still felt hot as I stepped into the center of the training droid army. It hurt to lift my head and look at the droids, but I still lifted my lightsaber hilt and ignited it. I lifted my hand holding the hilt above my head, while stretching my other hand in front of me. “Taught you well, Obi-Wan has,” Yoda commented from where he stood. He'd retrieved his gimer stick and was watching me steadily. I managed a smirk. “Yup. Alright, I'm ready.” It was a lie. I felt like I was going to overheat, despite the shivers that still took my body every few seconds. I felt unsteady on my feet, and my lightsaber hilt felt heavier in my hand. Still, I stood at the ready. Yoda flicked his wrist again, and the droids began their rotation around me, firing their little blaster bolts. I lifted my saber, trying my best to deflect the bolts as quickly as I could, but my arms were sluggish and slow. I felt like my brain was lagging as I waved my saber to the left, missing the bolts entirely. A series of the tiny things nailed me in my left side, sending little shocks across my body. I winced with a painful hiss through my teeth. The droids stopped spinning, and I turned to find my Master watching me through narrowed eyes. “Missed, you did,” he commented helpfully. “I noticed,” I croaked in response, allowing myself a single cough as the rawness in my throat grew to uncomfortable levels. “Sorry, Master, I misjudged how quickly they were firing.” It wasn't entirely true. I knew exactly how fast the droids would be going. But my brain wasn't responding to what I wanted it to do.
“Again, yes?” Yoda prompted, and I nodded. I lifted my lightsaber back up in the beginning stance of Soresu again, trying to shove away the haziness of my brain. Once again, the droids began their attacks. I didn't do much better the second time. Within fifteen seconds, two separate droids fired past my lightsaber blade, nailing me in the arm and the leg. I bit my tongue to refrain from cursing. The droids came to a halt again, and I turned to Yoda. My vision was unclear, and I felt like the world was beginning to spin before my eyes. “Hmmh…” I didn't miss the way Yoda looked at me. I was sure he was disappointed in my demonstration of nearly instant failure. I had done this activity countless times before. “Perhaps, try something else, we will,” Yoda told me softly, turning to look across the room. I looked down as I lowered my hand holding my lightsaber. I felt bad for how awful I did at this simple practice test. “Master Windu,” Yoda hailed, drawing his and Votren's attention onto us. “Time for a practice spar, does Votren have?” My friend immediately looked excited, glancing up at her Master with a hopeful expression. Master Windu glanced at her, then nodded. “That's acceptable,” he hummed softly. “Votren, you will not go easy on your friend. This is a test. For both of you.” Votren nodded eagerly. “Yes, Master, I understand. You're totally going down, Corde!” She added as she turned to me. I offered what I thought was a smile, but it could have been an uncomfortable grimace. “Don't be so sure,” I croaked. I could hear the wheeze of sickness in my own voice. Votren blinked at me. “You good, Corde? You sound awful.” I swallowed uneasily, then immediately regretted it as my throat protested. I stifled a cough, nodding. “I'm fine,” I answered, not meeting her gaze. Votren looked ready to protest, but my Master didn't give her the chance. “Proceed, Padawans,” he instructed. Votren glanced at him, then shrugged. “Alright. Let's do this!” She planted her feet, lifting her arms into the beginning stance of Vaapad.
“Lightsabers on safety mode,” Master Windu reminded, and I watched my friend hurriedly switch her hilt to the correct setting. I did the same with mine, holding my hilt in both hands and lifting it over my right shoulder. “Begin,” Windu told us. Votren immediately launched her first attack, swinging her saber down and around to get the first hit. I just barley dropped my blade in time to halt her advance, but my arms felt heavy. My head felt like it might burst, and the blood pounded in my ears. I tried to raise my arms, to attack back, but my vision was slowly turning dark. I just registered the sensation of a sharp sting from a safety mode lightsaber on my leg before I felt myself falling. And just like that, everything dissolved into the comfortable darkness of unconsciousness.
-
I realized I couldn't have been out for more than a few moments, but it felt like a lifetime. I opened my eyes, to find myself on the floor of the training chamber, with Votren kneeled next to me, and Masters Windu and Yoda nearby. I heard Master Windu's voice, but couldn't make out what he was saying. All I heard was, “Medical droid… Stat…” I mumbled something, trying to will my mind to complete wakefulness. “Corde?” Votren's voice came to me, much clearer now. “Corde? Are you okay?” I took a moment to focus on my friend's face before trying to sit up. She snaked her arm around my back to support me. “What happened?” She asked. I tried to find a way to explain my sudden loss of consciousness, but Master Yoda beat me to it. “Unwell, they are,” he said gently, and I immediately knew that he suspected all along what was going on. “Sick, yes,” he walked over to me, lifting one hand up to briefly touch my forehead. He withdrew his hand quickly, nodding. “A fever, you have,” he commented helpfully. I swallowed painfully, looking away from him. “I'm sorry, Master,” I said softly. “I didn't want you to think I was too sick to train. I didn't want to miss any practice.” Yoda looked at me with a steady, knowing expression. “Knew this, I did, Corde,” he told me. “Let you discover your limit on your own, I did.” I exhaled as Votren helped me get to my feet. “You're sick as a bantha, Corde,” she observed. “You should get some rest.” Yoda glanced at her with a nod of agreement. “Correct, your friend is. Some time in the Healer's Wing, yes?” I sighed again. “Yes, Master. I'm sorry again.” Yoda shook his head, waving a dismissive hand. “Apologize not. Admire your dedication, I do. But sometimes, even the strongest Jedi, rest they need, yes?” I nodded slowly, this time trying not to send my head into another painful spiral. “Yes, Master, I understand.” I glanced at the door as a medical droid hovered into the room. “In a few days’ time, better you will feel,” Yoda told me as the droid began ushering me out the door. “Thank you, Master,” I nodded. I let the droid escort me to the Healer's Wing, where I was given fever medication and prescribed bedrest-exactly as I had feared-until my symptoms were cured. I hated lying around doing nothing, but I did start to feel a bit better after laying down. I sighed, letting myself slip into the world of fever dreams and half sleep.
-
It was a few days until I felt well enough again to leave the Healer's Wing. During that time, Votren, Bazi, and Rika tried to visit me, but were always turned away by Temple nurses, not wanting any of them to get sick, too. I hated being unable to do anything for so much time. So when Rig Nema told me in the late morning hours of my fourth day there that I could leave, I was thrilled. She left me with instructions to not engage in extremely strenuous activities, for the sake of my recovering throat and sinuses, but that I could otherwise return to normal training. The first thing I did when I walked back into the main halls of the Temple was reach into the Force, searching. I found my Master was in the refectory, so I headed straight there. I knew he sensed me coming long before I rounded the corner and entered the massive room. I found him seated on a hover chair around a table with Masters Windu, Plo Koon, and Ki-Adi-Mundi. I approached, dipping my head in greeting as Master Windu's eyes flitted up towards me. A moment later, Yoda turned to follow his gaze, his expression brightening slightly. “Ahh, back from death's doorstep you are, hmm?” He greeted. His words earned a breath of laughter from Ki-Adi-Mundi, and I smirked. “It wasn't that bad, Master,” I insisted. “I just hated being away from training for so long.” Yoda didn't respond immediately. Instead, he gestured for me to sit adjacent to him, across from Ki-Adi-Mundi, so I did so. “You were only in there for a few days, Corde,” Master Koon hummed, tilting his head at me. I shrugged. “That's still a few days I could have spent doing something else,” I pointed out. I was fully aware of the eyes of all four Masters on me, and I fought the urge to shrivel under their gazes. “Always eager to run, young Jedi are,” Yoda commented, shaking his head. He didn't sound upset, in fact I noticed the glimmer of amusement in his hazel eyes.
“Yes, I guess so,” I said, glancing away. “I don't like feeling useless, I guess.” This time it was Master Windu who spoke up. “You'd be more useless if you're trying to work while you're too sick. As Yoda has said… Even the greatest Jedi need a little rest and help occasionally. It's what makes us stronger.” I dipped my head, half nodding. “Yes, Master. I understand.” I glanced back at my own Master, who was watching me steadily. “Next time, tell me, you should, if unwell, you are.” I nodded more confidently this time. “Yes, Master, I will.” He kept his gaze on me as he slowly maneuvered his hover chair away from the table. “Now, if training, you are so eager for, retry our earlier exercise we should, hmm?” I smiled as I got to my feet, not forgetting to bow to the other three Masters. “Oh, yes, Master. I won't disappoint this time.” Yoda glanced back at me as he nodded farewell at the other Masters. “Disappoint? I think not, Corde. Try hard, you do. Admirable, yes. Not disappointing.” I looked at the ground bashfully. “Thank you, Master,” I hummed in response. “Thank you.”