Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Emily had been at her desk since before the sun had even come up. The case had exploded the night before, three women taken all from different areas, all different levels of risk, from various neighborhoods in DC. The case had finally landed on their lap when the third victim had been taken, the daughter of some high stakes politician. Because it was local, she didn't have the luxury of letting someone else handle the optics, she had to be on top of everything with everyone breathing down her neck.

The mayor's office had called three times already. The bureau's deputy director had been on the phone twice, asking for updates. There were press briefings already arranged and families demanding to know what was being done to find their loved ones. It was all too much, and they still hadn’t made much progress.

When she took over as unit chief for Hotch, he should’ve warned her about the migraines that came with handling the politics of it all.

The coffee on her desk had gone cold an hour ago, and the stacks of reports in front of her felt like a mountain that she wasn’t sure she had the strength to conquer. She ran her fingers through her silver-streaked hair, glanced at the clock on the wall, and took off her glasses to rub her eyes, willing the spots that were threatening to dance around her vision to leave her alone for a little while longer.

A knock at the door came right then, soft and familiar.

“Come in,” she called, her voice sounding so tired.

The door opened, and JJ slipped in, balancing two cups of fresh coffee, a pastry bag with something that made Emily’s stomach grumble, and a thick folder in the other hand. She was wearing a tight dark blue sweater that brought out her eyes, her hair was down in soft waves that were barely there, and her face, although tired, was soft and happy to see her.

“I thought you might need this,” JJ said, setting down the coffee on the desk with a small smile.

Emily glanced up at her, JJ’s smile already distracting her with a warm feeling in her chest that she didn’t have time for right now.

JJ was twenty-five, and it showed in everything about her. She was bright and kind and had the confidence people have before the world dulls them down, especially in their line of work.

And she was Emily’s biggest problem. Not because Emily didn’t like her or she didn’t find her competent, but because she liked her too much.

JJ slid the folder across the desk and opened it in front of Emily. “This is the latest on the press side. I kept the vultures at bay this morning, told them we’d have something more concrete by the evening, so we’ve bought a few hours of peace.”

“Thank you,” Emily responded, looking through the folder, scanning the bullet points. JJ’s handwriting detailing the talk points and updates, neatly in the margins.

JJ lingered at the edge of the desk, eyes scanning over the mountain of paperwork and notes scattered around it. Her eyes landed on the untouched cup of coffee from earlier.

“You didn’t drink this,” JJ stated, pointing out the obvious.

Emily didn’t answer, she didn’t even look up. She was staring at a note from a city council member calling the BAU’s actions inefficient

JJ reached out then, her hand reaching for Emily’s. “Emily, you need to eat something.”

That’s when she snapped, “JJ, I don’t have time for this right now.”

The words came out sharp and dismissive, and they caused JJ to freeze and pull away. She took a step back, not expecting Emily’s words to come out so harshly.

“Okay,” she said quietly, setting down the pastry bag next to the coffee. “I’ll let you work.”

She turned and left, closing the door softly behind her.

Emily stared at the door after JJ left, regret already creeping up. She hadn’t meant to snap, especially when JJ only wanted to help, but she was already stressed and worn thin, and she really didn’t have the time. Still, JJ had walked in with a coffee and food because she knew Emily hadn’t eaten, because JJ noticed things like that. And in return, Emily had snapped at her.

It wasn’t just the stress or the case. It was the fact that JJ could walk into her office and she could feel her whole body relax in the hope that maybe she would close the door and come to her, the way she had on those other nights. And she couldn’t give herself that luxury until they solved their case.

She sat there with the warm cup between her palms, but she didn’t drink it. Thirty years. Thirty years of living, of making mistakes and learning lessons, of living all across the globe, learning cities and languages out of necessity, years of lovers that had come and gone. Thirty long years separated her from JJ.

She had no business being with her, but she couldn’t help it because JJ, well, she looked at Emily not like a woman who was more than twice her age, not like her boss or someone hardened by the job. She looked at Emily with care and softness.

Emily took a sip of the coffee, willing it to take the headache away and the mess of her thoughts with it. She pressed her fingers to her temple. God, what was she doing?

She’d tried to talk herself out of it when it started, the first time JJ had come to her apartment after a late night working on case files, the bottle of wine they had shared, the way JJ’s laughter and softness had manage to sneak through her and chip away at the hardened parts of her that had developed over time.

She had told herself it was one time. It hadn’t been.

Now every look between them lingered too long. Every touch, even if friendly, even if accidental, sent fireworks through her. Every time JJ called her Emily in that soft, breathy voice of hers, it threatened to tear her apart.

She had tried, even when the threat of what would come down on them if anyone found out wasn't enough, she had still tried not to get attached, but she couldn’t help it. Not when JJ had made her feel alive for the first time in god knows how long. Not when JJ had made her feel wanted and desired.

Sometimes she couldn’t stop thinking about how different their lives were. JJ still talked about the future as if it were wide open, as if it were something to look forward to. Emily barely thought about it, except to wonder if she was even allowed one, with all the things she’d seen, all the things she had done, and all the compromises made along the way.

And yet, when JJ smiled or brushed her fingers against Emily’s under the table, she let herself believe, for a split second, that maybe she could want this. Perhaps they could have this. But that thought, that hope, often left as fast as it came.

She shook the thoughts from her head and buried herself in the files instead.

She eventually forced herself up from her chair, stretching her stiff shoulders as she gathered the stack of reports under her arm and ignored another call. It was nearly 4 p.m. and they hadn’t made much progress.

She pushed open her door and stepped down the walkway to the briefing room, hoping at least they had an update for her. At the round table, Rossi and Morgan were going over victimology again, and Reid was looking at the geographical profile, hoping to see a pattern they had somehow missed. Across the table, Penelope was typing quickly into her computer, going over any online activity that might help them. And JJ, she was right next to Penelope, writing out something on a pad that Emily wasn’t able to make out.

Everyone looked up when she came in, but her eyes only met JJ’s. She met her gaze for one second, maybe two, and then looked away. The slight smile she was wearing, no doubt because of something Penelope had said, dropped as she focused back on what she was writing.

For the moment JJ had held her gaze, Emily could swear she spotted something close to sadness in it, maybe worry, but she didn’t have time to try and dissect what JJ was feeling.

“Status update,” she said, sharp enough that everyone’s attention went back to her.

Morgan sat up, sliding his chair back from the table to look at her. “Locals called in another lead, a possible sighting in Anacostia. Reid is looking into it.”

“Good,” Emily said, crossing to the table, laying down the files for them to work on. “Keep me posted.”

Emily was about to leave when Penelope stopped her, drawing everyone's attention to her.

“Wait! I think I got him.” She said, eyes wide behind her glasses. “Patrol just spotted a van matching the unsub’s in Fort Stanton. He stopped at a house, went inside, and there hasn't been any movement since. The house has been abandoned for a year.”

“Or being used as his dump site,” Rossi muttered, already reaching for his jacket.

Emily didn’t even hesitate; she was barking off orders before anyone could blink.

“Gear up,” she ordered. “Morgan, Rossi, you’re on breach. Reid, you run backup with local PD, coordinate with SWAT.”

She looked over to Garcia. “I want every camera within a two-block radius pulled. Feed it straight to us as soon as you get it.”

Garcia nodded, fingers already flying across her keyboard.

JJ stood from her chair, grabbed her blazer from the back of her chair, ready to follow behind them. But Emily stopped her before she could.

“JJ. Stay here.”

The words made her freeze mid-movement

“What?”

Emily kept her voice calm, devoid of any emotions, the way she had to, because every pair of eyes in the room was on them.

“I need you here,” Emily told her. “Coordinate with Garcia. Keep press contained, make sure the families don’t hear anything from anyone but us until we confirm what we got.”

JJ stared at her. That didn’t make sense; the families weren’t there, and neither would the press when they found out the team had mobilized.

“Emily, by the time you get there, the place will be crawling with reporters. I can coordinate better from there to keep them off your back.” JJ pushed, confused by Emily’s decision.

“I gave you an order. You stay and help Garcia.” Emily said, turning away and pushing everyone else out with her.

JJ stepped forward, frustration growing on her face. “Emily–”

“Coordinate from here.”

It was final, said with the tone that told JJ she wasn’t talking to Emily anymore but to her boss. JJ clenched her jaw, wanting to say more, but kept it back before she could regret it.

Silence stretched between them. Morgan shifted, glanced at Rossi, who raised an eyebrow as if to say he didn’t know what was happening either. They all looked at each other for a moment before Emily told them to move it.

“What was that about?” Penelope asked JJ once they had all filled out, her fingers no longer typing.

“I don’t know,” JJ responded as she watched Emily walk away without a second glance back at her.

It was well into the night when Emily walked back into the BAU. The takedown has been clean, the unsub was in custody, the last of the victims recovered alive, and her team home to rest. But Emily didn’t have that luxury. Her body ached from hours in body armor working in the field, the adrenaline had burned off hours ago, and now she was left with only bone-deep exhaustion.

The bullpen was mostly dark now, just some flickering light from a few monitors at empty desks. She had sent everyone home, but she still came back. There was paperwork to finish, incident reports to submit, the kind of tedious, thankless work that came with the title she had.

She tossed her coat over the back of her chair and fell into it, pulling the first file towards her. She worked quietly, barely processing the words as she went through the motions of the paperwork she had to do after each case. However, through the mind-numbing work, there was one thought she couldn’t shake.

JJ. The way JJ had looked at her after Emily benched her, the hurt on her face when Emily snapped at her. The way she stood there, angry and hurt, and the way the rest of the team had stood there between them, while Emily let her emotions drive her actions.

Emily dropped her pen and leaned back into her chair, moving her head from side to side to try and get some of the stiffness from her neck.

The truth was, Emily never wanted JJ anywhere near the field. She knew JJ was a more than capable agent, but sue her if she wanted to keep her protected and away from danger. Every time JJ went with them to the field, she spent half her time worrying about the case and the other worrying about JJ. It was distracting, and today Emily couldn’t handle the distraction of worrying about her safety.

She exhaled softly, staring down at the paperwork in front of her like it might offer some kind of clarity as to why, despite being the boss, despite not being supposed to play favorites or cross lines, she cared and wanted the young media liaison as much as she did.

By the time the last signature was scrawled across the last page, she was sure there was no one else around. She stacked the papers neatly and sat there for a long moment, staring at her reflection in the dark window of her office. She looked tired, exhausted really, and without a good excuse keeping her from her bed, she decided it was time to call it a day.

Right as she was about to leave, she saw it. Light coming from underneath JJ’s office door. Emily walked over. She had planned on apologizing the next day, but figured she might as well do it now and send her youngest agent home before she fell asleep at her desk.

She hesitated in the doorway for a second before opening the door slightly. JJ was there, files spread across her desk, a cup of coffee, and an open bag of Cheetos close to her. JJ’s office was always messy, with files and boxes all around. Emily found it endearing how JJ could appear so composed and polished, and when you came into her office, you saw another part of her.

JJ’s hair was half up, the last strands clinging with a hair claw that was about to lose its battle as strands fell over her face as she scribbled notes onto a legal pad. She hadn’t noticed Emily yet, too focused on making a list of the details of whatever case she would present to them the next morning.

Emily lingered in the doorway just watching until JJ looked up and their eyes met. JJ’s pen stilled over the page, and she reflexively straightened up in her chair as she looked at Emily. Emily crossed the room slowly, setting her things on the small sofa against the wall.

“Can we talk?” Emily’s voice was softer than she meant it to be.

JJ gave a tiny shrug. “You’re already here.”

Emily almost winced at the flatness in JJ’s tone and sank onto the sofa. For a moment, she just stared at her hands, noticing the smudges of ink on them from all the reports she had signed

“I owe you an apology,” she said finally.

JJ stayed quiet, waiting for Emily to go on.

Emily exhaled, running a hand through her hair. “I snapped at you earlier. And I benched you when you shouldn’t have been benched.” Her voice was slow and a little uncertain, like she had rehearsed the words but couldn’t make them smoother.

JJ’s eyebrows lifted, but she didn’t interrupt.

Emily continued. “Everyone was breathing down my neck today. The mayor, the bureau, the media. It felt like half of DC was on my ass since this morning.” She leaned back, head tipped against the cushion as she looked at the ceiling. “I’m sorry you caught the sharp end of that. You didn’t deserve it.”

JJ relaxed slightly, the tightness in her body loosening just a little.

Emily glanced over at her, “and I shouldn’t have kept you here. You had every right to be out there with the rest of us. You were right, and I made the wrong call.”

JJ tilted her head, studying Emily. “It wasn’t just a wrong call, was it?”

Emily hesitated for a moment, she thought about just keeping it as a wrong moment of judgment and leaving the messy part out. But JJ was sitting there looking at her like she could see right through her anyway.

“I didn’t want you there,” she admitted quietly. “I didn’t want to have to worry about you in the field on top of everything else. Especially when he had nothing to lose and we didn’t know what to expect. I just–”

She stopped, running her hand through her hair once again.

“I can handle the risk for me, for the guys,” Emily said, her voice tired. “I can’t–” She cut herself off again, then forced it out. “I can’t handle it for you. Not today.”

JJ’s breath caught. She’d known Emily was protective of her, even before they had gotten involved. She’d felt it in subtle ways, the hovering, the looks. But hearing her say it, hearing the care and concern in Emily’s voice, was different.

JJ stood up and took the chance to really look at Emily. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was messy from constantly running her hands through it in a way she did when she was overwhelmed. Her shoulders were stiff, and her eyes glazed over.

Emily was exhausted. And yes, JJ was tired too, but she was used to pulling all-nighters with little to no consequences. JJ didn’t have half of DC hounding her all day. JJ didn’t have the lives of five other agents on her hands.

Emily did, she carried all of it, and she still carried her care and worry for JJ on top of that, even when she didn’t have to.

JJ’s voice was soft and breathy as she walked over. “Emily”

Emily glanced up, brow furrowed as she watched JJ walk over to her.

JJ didn’t say anything at first. She just reached down. And took Emily’s hand in hers. Emily felt the warmth of JJ’s fingers sliding around her own as she held her tightly and gave her a little squeeze.

“Come on,” JJ said gently. “You’re done here, you’re wrung out and running on fumes. You don’t need to be here another minute, so I’m taking you home.”

Emily’s first instinct was to argue, to say there was still work to do, still something, but she didn’t. Because JJ was looking down at her with this soft insistence, like she wasn’t just suggesting it, she meant it, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

JJ tugged lightly on her hand. “Come on,” she said again, softer this time.

Emily stood slowly, feeling every ache and exhausted pull in her body. When she was on her feet, JJ didn’t drop her hand. She ran her thumb over Emily’s knuckles and stepped in closer, close enough where Emily could feel JJ’s breath on her skin.

JJ leaned in just enough to ask for permission, and Emily met her there. The kiss was soft, Emily made a low sound, almost like a sigh, and her free hand came up, cupping JJ’s jaw, pulling her just a little closer.

When JJ finally pulled back, her breath was shaky. She pulled them towards the door, turning the light to her office off, and Emily didn’t even think to protest this time.

They didn't speak much on the drive. JJ drove, her hand occasionally brushing against Emily’s knee from time to time. Emily sat in the passenger seat, staring out at the empty streets.

When they reached Emily’s apartment, JJ parked out front and turned the engine off. Emily glanced at her, ready to say thank you, to tell JJ that she didn’t have to stay, but JJ was already out of the car, heading towards the entrance of the building.

They went inside, JJ set the keys on the table by the door just as she’d done dozens of times before. Emily dropped her things over a chair and turned, only to find JJ standing right there again. Close.

JJ reached up, fingers brushing along Emily’s jaw, and kissed her again, this time slower and deeper with no hesitation. Emily melted into her. Her hand found JJ’s waist and pulled her closer, and for the first time all day, the tension in her body eased.

JJ pulled back just enough to whisper, “You’re exhausted. Let me take care of you tonight.”

And Emily, who spent every day carrying the weight of everybody else, just nodded.

JJ guided her to the bedroom, and Emily had the fleeting, dizzy thought that she should stop, that this was the moment to press pause, to be the responsible one. But then JJ turned and kissed her again hungrily, and that thought went out the window.

JJ pulled back just enough to push Emily until she was sitting on the bed, the mattress dipping under her weight. She stepped between her knees, fingers starting to work on the buttons of Emily’s blouse.

Emily’s breath hitched watching her, the way brows furrowed in concentration, the way her tongue peeked out just barely when she reached for the last few buttons.

She searched for JJ’s eyes, feeling like she could get lost in them. She knew what desire looked like; she knew what that deep want and need reflected in people's eyes. But JJ’s eyes, bright, innocent, and sincere, made Emily feel utterly defenseless. Every time JJ looked at her like that, it drove her mad.

The last button came free. JJ pushed the blouse over Emily’s shoulders slowly. Emily’s breath was uneven now, her pulse loud and thruming in her ears.

“Sweetheart…” she murmured, the word slipping out without thought.

JJ glanced up at the pet name, a flush blooming across her cheeks, but she didn't stop. She got even closer, pressing a kiss to Emily’s throat, causing Emily to let her head fall back, a low sound of pleasure escaping before she could stop it.

JJ’s hands slid over her shoulders, her arms, pushing the fabric away completely, leaving Emily bare from the waist up except for the simple black bra she’d thrown on that morning.

JJ smiled against her skin and pushed her back just slightly. “Lie back for me.”

Emily obeyed, sinking into the pillows, watching JJ with that same mix of hunger and disbelief she always felt when she looked at her.

JJ undid her pants, and when she hooked her fingers in the waistband, Emily lifted her hips automatically, letting JJ slide them down. Her panties were next, and for a second Emily felt bare, not just in her body, but bare in every way.

JJ kneeled between her legs, her hands smoothing over Emily’s hips, her tights, kissing up one leg then the other.

And that's when it crept in, the thought Emily never wanted to have. She's so young. And you’re… not. Her hair had gone grey, and her body didn’t bounce back like it used to. She’d always carried herself with confidence, had always been called beautiful, but now, lying bare under JJ’s bright, hungry eyes, she felt the tiniest bite of insecurity.

JJ wasn’t oblivious. She saw it, in the way Emily’s had twitched like she might pull the sheet over herself, in the quick moment of doubt across her face.

So JJ paused, hovering just above Emily. “Hey,” she said softly.

Emily looked up at her, trying to school her face, but JJ just smiled, shaking her head gently.

“You’re beautiful, Emily.”

Emily opened her mouth to protest, to brush it off, but JJ kept going.

“You are so beautiful,” she said, before Emily could find a way to deny it. “And so so hot, in a way that makes me stop breathing for a second when I look at you.”

Emily’s throat went tight.

JJ pressed a kiss to her hipbone, then another, lower.

“You know how crazy it makes me,” JJ whispered, lips brushing her skin, “that I get to have you like this?”

Emily let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, the knot of insecurity loosening under JJ’s words.

JJ smiled at her from between her legs, “and that I get to have you all to myself.” She kissed Emily's inner thigh, dangerously close to where Emily needed her most. “That I get to hear you come apart,” she bit soft skin, softly running her tongue over it, and smiled at the whimper that came from Emily.

“JJ…” Emily pleaded hand going down to blonde hair.

JJ’s mouth touched her, and that knot unraveled entirely. JJ kissed her softly at first, barely letting her tongue run over Emily’s folds, and Emily swore she could feel every ounce of emotion and reassurance in it.

Her head tipped back against the pillow, a low sound slipping from her throat as JJ’s tongue moved over her at a devastatingly slow pace.

Emily’s hand threaded into JJ’s hair, pulling slightly to guide her.

She’d been with plenty of lovers. She knew what she liked. But with JJ, there was something about her that made Emily’s whole body light up in the most delicious way.

JJ’s hands pressed lightly to her thighs, steadying her, holding her legs apart as she worked her tongue over every inch, teasing Emily.

Emily’s breath came in gasps, her hips pushing up, chasing the pleasure JJ was giving her. She moaned loudly when JJ’s tongue flicked over her clit, her voice breaking halfway through.

JJ hummed softly at Emily’s moan, the vibration sending a shockwave through Emily’s body.

She tried to hold back, to give them time, but JJ didn’t give her a chance. She brought her fingers up and eased them into Emily, her mouth now sucking on Emily's clit, determined to fully unravel her.

The combination of her mouth, her hands, and a soft murmur of, “So good, Emily. You taste so good,” broke something loose inside her.

Emily’s back arched, her grip in JJ’s hair tightening as she came, her body shaking apart under the younger woman’s skilled mouth.

JJ kissed her thighs, her hips, her stomach, slow and loving as Emily’s body eased, as her breathing began to come back to her.

JJ finally settled in next to her, and Emily brought her in for a kiss, tasting herself on JJ’s lips. It made her head spin.

When JJ started to pull back, like maybe she thought she’d done enough, Emily caught her chin gently between her fingers.

“Oh no,” she murmured, her voice low, “you don’t think I’m going to let you take care of me and not return the favor, do you?”

JJ’s breath caught, her pupils blown wide.

“Emily…” she whispered, already blushing a deep crimson.

Emily sat up a little, her lips brushing JJ’s ear as she spoke, “I’m going to make you feel so good, sweetheart.”

JJ let out a soft whimper as Emily reversed their positions with a smooth, easy strength that left JJ flat on her back, looking up at her.

Her hands moved to JJ’s waist, tugging her pants down and off. Her fingers went back up, finding the hem of JJ’s sweater.

“Arms up,” she said softly.

JJ obeyed instantly, almost without thinking, lifting her arms so Emily could strip the fabric over her head. She unclasped her bra gently, Emily’s fingers brushing her skin as she tugged it away, lingering on the curve of her breasts.

Emily kissed her once, firmly, and hovered over her for a moment, just looking at her. JJ was flushed all the way to her chest, hair messy, lips red from kissing. Emily let her gaze trail down, over the curve of her breasts, the rise and fall of her breathing, the flat stretch of her stomach, all the way down to where JJ’s thighs pressed together with need.

Emily leaned down, kissing the side of JJ’s neck, then lower, her lips traveling across her collarbone, her chest, stopping just long enough to take one nipple into her mouth, teasing it with her tongue until JJ arched and gasped.

“Emily…” JJ breathed out again, voice cracking on the name.

Emily smiled against her skin, letting her teeth scrape lightly before moving lower. By the time Emily’s lips reached the soft skin of JJ’s stomach, JJ was already trembling. Emily paused, one hand splayed across JJ’s hip, her thumb stroking small circles.

“Sweetheart,” she murmured, her voice low and soothing, “you don’t have to do anything. Just lie here and let me take care of you.”

JJ nodded, her breath uneven, her fingers fisting in the sheets like desperate to hold on to something.

Emily slid her hand between JJ’s thighs, coaxing them apart. JJ flushed even deeper, spreading them for her with a trust that made Emily’s chest ache. Her eyes softened, her voice dropping into a tone that made JJ melt.

“Good girl,” she murmured, her fingers skimming the inside of JJ’s thighs, slow and teasing.

JJ whimpered, hips jerking at the praise, and Emily felt herself smirking faintly. When her fingers finally touched her over her panties, JJ gasped, her whole body jolting.

“You’re already dripping for me,” Emily whispered. “God, sweetheart.”

She teased her at first, slow strokes over the fabric, building JJ up, letting her hips rock helplessly into Emily’s hand.

“Emily, please–” JJ’s voice was desperate with need.

Emily kissed her deep and hard, her tongue slipping into JJ’s mouth with no resistance.

“I’ve got you,” she promised, pulling the panties down JJ’s slim legs and sliding one finger inside her.

JJ cried out in relief at Emily finally giving her what she wanted. Her back arching slightly off the bed.

Emily’s mouth went back to give its undivided attention to JJ’s breasts, kissing and leaving marks around them as her finger moved slowly in a way that was too much and simultaneously not enough.

When JJ was whimpering for more, Emily added a second finger, sliding it in, feeling JJ’s walls clench around her. JJ gasped, a high, desperate sound that made Emily pull back.

“Too much?” Emily asked, stopping her movements.

JJ shook her head frantically, “No, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

Emily smirked, her lips brushing JJ’s skin.

“That’s my good girl,” she murmured and started to pick up the pace. Her fingers curl inside her, searching, knowing exactly what she was looking for. It didn't take long. JJ’s breath hitched, her whole body tensing when Emily found that spot, the spot that always made JJ see stars.

“There you are,” Emily whispered, voice thin, “that’s the spot, isn’t it?”

JJ whimpered, “Yes– God, Emily, yes!”

Emily set a quick pace, her thumb brushing over JJ’s clit in lazy circles that made her moan and fist the sheets between her fingers.

When it was too much, when the pleasure was building up, JJ grabbed at Emily’s shoulders, nails digging in lightly, her breath coming fast and broken.

Emily leaned over her, kissing her softly, “You’re doing so well for me. Such a sweet girl. My good girl.”

Every praise made JJ fall apart a little more, her hips chasing every movement of Emily’s hand until she fell apart. She came with a sharp cry of Emily’s name, her body clenching around Emily’s fingers, her thighs shaking as the orgasm rolled through her.

Emily held her through it, fingers still moving slowly, easing her down, murmuring into her ear. “That’s it. I’ve got you. You’re okay, just breathe for me.”

JJ collapsed against the pillows, gasping, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes from the intensity of it. Emily kissed her face, her cheeks, her temple, her forehead, whispering soft reassurances with every press of her lips.

When JJ stopped shaking, Emily let herself fall beside her. JJ immediately draped herself over Emily, her breath still uneven. Her skin was damp, flushed, her whole body loose and warm in that floaty, post-orgasm haze that Emily put her in every time.

JJ murmured something soft that Emily couldn’t quite make out, maybe a thank you, and snuggled closer, her thigh sliding between Emily’s, her arm thrown over Emily’s middle, relaxing against her completely.

Emily smoothed her hand up and down JJ’s back in slow strokes. She stared at the ceiling for a moment, then down at the woman in her arms, and let herself think about their first time.

When she’d agreed to take the BAU job, she had promised herself not to get too close, but the moment her eyes had landed on JJ, she knew she was doomed.

And then JJ had walked into her office one night with a tight blouse and that smile, nervous and sweet, and Emily’s resolve had cracked. She still remembered the way JJ had stood in the doorway, asking if she needed anything else to help her settle in. She remembered the way she’d said no, and then how JJ hadn’t left, how she’d step in closer instead. And Emily had seen the hungry look in JJ’s eyes that ended in a desperate kiss, in Emily pulling back, whispering “we shouldn’t” even as she let JJ kiss her again, and again.

And after that? They hadn’t stopped.

Now here they were, JJ curled against her, skin warm, breath soft and steady against Emily’s chest

Even now, she couldn’t quite believe that this twenty‑five‑year‑old woman wanted her, still wanted her, after the stress, the long days, the gray streaks in her hair that she sometimes caught herself hating.

But JJ did. JJ wanted her so much that it baffled Emily every single time.

Emily pressed a kiss into JJ’s hair, murmured, “Sweetheart…”

JJ made a tiny noise, half‑whine, half‑sigh, and buried herself deeper against Emily’s chest, as though she could melt right into her.

Emily smiled against the crown of her head, brushing her fingers over her skin.

“We should take a shower,” Emily whispered.

JJ groaned immediately, the sound muffled into Emily’s collarbone. “Don’t want to”

Emily smirked faintly, pressing another kiss to her temple. “You need to, baby. You’re sticky.”

JJ shook her head, spent and offended at the idea of even leaving Emily’s side.

Emily chuckled under her breath, the low sound rumbling in her chest. “I know you don’t want to. But if you won’t get up for a shower, you at least have to let me clean you up here.”

JJ groaned again, but she shifted slightly, head tilting back enough to meet Emily’s eyes. Emily arched an eyebrow, lips curving in that smirk that made JJ’s stomach flip.

JJ gave her a soft, exaggerated glare. “Fine.”

Emily finally coaxed her to let her go, as she slipped out of bed and reached for her robe, slipping it on.

JJ watched her go, cheek pressed to the pillow, eyes heavy‑lidded, and it was almost unfair how Emily could look that composed after what they’d just done, robe hanging open just enough to reveal a strip of skin, hair loose and slightly falling in messy waves down her back.

Emily disappeared into the bathroom for a couple of minutes, JJ almost falling asleep listening to the sound of running water through the door. When Emily came back, she was carrying a warm, damp towel and a glass of water.

Emily crossed back to the bed and sat beside her. “Lie back for me,” she said softly.

JJ complied with a soft sigh, sprawling across the sheets, still flushed, with her limbs feeling like jelly. Emily’s touch with the towel was painfully gentle and slow. She started at JJ’s inner thighs and moved up, cleaning her carefully.

JJ hissed softly when the towel brushed over her clit, still sensitive, and Emily paused apologizing, “Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll be gentle.”

JJ just nodded, biting her lip, letting Emily continue. It was so intimate it made JJ melt, the way Emily dabbed softly, not rubbing, not rushing, just taking her time to make sure every trace of mess was gone.

When Emily finished, she leaned down and kissed the inside of JJ’s knee. “All clean.”

JJ gave her the smallest smile, cheeks pink. “Thank you.”

Emily tapped her hip lightly. “Bathroom. Go pee.”

JJ groaned, burying her face in the pillow for a moment before she dragged herself up, muttering something about her being bossy that just made Emily chuckle.

JJ walked into the bathroom, and Emily stayed behind, tossing the towel into the hamper, fixing the messy sheets, and setting the oversized shirt JJ always stole when she came over.

When JJ came out a few minutes later, she found Emily where she always did after their nights together, in her robe, seated on the low armchair by the window, one long leg crossed over the other, a lit cigarette between her fingers.

JJ slipped the shirt over her head, hanging low over her body, and stared at the sight of Emily looking calm, the robe slipping off one shoulder, a thin curl of smoke around her, an image that made JJ’s breath hitch, marveling at how hot she was.

Emily turned her head when she heard JJ walk back in the room, and her mouth curved into a small smile as she blew out a puff of smoke.

JJ crossed over the room barefoot and climbed sideways into Emily’s lap, letting her legs fall over the armrest of the chair. Emily shifted, adjusting automatically, one arm wrapping around JJ’s waist to keep her close.

Once she was settled, JJ plucked the cigarette from Emily’s fingers without asking, raising it to her lips and taking a small drag.

Emily just watched her, the way her fingers made the cigarette look so delicate, the way she exhaled the smoke slowly, letting it linger before blowing it out. It was intoxicating to see.

JJ passed it back, and Emily smirked faintly as she took a drag herself. “You know it's a filthy habit.”

JJ leaned her head on Emily’s shoulder, taking the cigarette from her again, her lips closing around it. “That’s why you love it,” she said, looking at Emily through her eyelashes

Emily let out a small laugh, then took it from JJ, taking one last drag before setting it on the ashtray.

Her hand smoothed up and down JJ’s back, the motion automatic.

“Sweetheart,” Emily said quietly, making JJ’s head tilt up to see her.

Emily’s thumb brushed across JJ’s cheek, “I truly am sorry for earlier. For snapping. For benching you”

JJ frowned slightly, as if to say it didn’t matter anymore, but Emily continued. “I hate the politics of this job. I hate having to make calls that make you look at me like you did today. And I hate that I…” she paused, searching for the words “…that I can’t always separate being your boss from…”

Her eyes softened, her voice dropped lower, “From caring about you.”

JJ’s lips curved into the smallest, sleepiest smile.

“You don’t have to apologize for that,” she murmured, her voice muffled slightly against Emily’s neck.

Emily kissed her hair, inhaling the faint scent of JJ’s shampoo.

“I do,” she said softly. “Because I was sharp with you when you were just trying to help. And you didn’t deserve that.”

J shifted in her lap, swinging her legs so she could face Emily more fully, sitting almost straddling her thighs now. Her fingers brushed over Emily’s jaw. “You were tired,” JJ said simply. “You’re always so tired, Em.”

JJ smiled softly, her thumb brushing across Emily’s lips.

“You do everything for everyone else,” she said, quieter now. “You take care of everyone. You take care of me. At work and well…here,” she said sheepishly.

Emily didn’t say anything else, didn’t comment on how she was supposed to take care of JJ, she just kissed her soft and slow, her hand cupping the back of JJ’s head. JJ sighed into her mouth, relaxing again, leaning into Emily’s chest.

Emily stayed quiet, just holding her, JJ warm and heavy in her lap, the faint curl of smoke still rising from the ashtray on the table, and thought, not for the first time, that this was the messiest, most complicated thing she’d ever let happen. But the longer they kept doing this, the more she convinced herself that if she could go back and change it, stop herself, she wouldn’t.

When JJ’s body started to go slack, that boneless weight Emily knew meant she was drifting, she nudged her gently.

“Sweetheart,” Emily murmured, stroking the back of her hand over JJ’s cheek, “don’t fall asleep here.”

A quiet, sleepy hum was the only answer she got. Emily smiled faintly, then tried again, a little firmer. “JJ. Come on. We have to get to bed.”

JJ let out a little groan and burrowed closer into Emily’s chest.

Emily laughed under her breath, low and warm, because of course JJ was done moving for the night. She shifted them, sliding one arm beneath JJ’s knees, the other around her back as she stood up. JJ clung to her, arms looping around her neck as Emily lifted her effortlessly from the chair.

She carried her to the bed and set her down carefully, smoothing the sheets back with one hand before coaxing JJ under them. She stepped back, taking off her robe and grabbing a random shirt from her closet.

JJ immediately curled on her side, then reached out, bleary‑eyed, until Emily slid in beside her. As soon as Emily settled, JJ tucked herself against her chest, her face pressed beneath Emily’s chin, one hand sliding under the shirt to rest against bare skin.

Emily tugged the blanket up over them both and kissed the top of JJ’s head.

“Warm enough?” she murmured.

JJ made a soft noise of agreement, already halfway under again. Emily stroked a hand slowly up and down her arm, feeling her breathing start to even out. She could feel JJ was almost asleep when she murmured it, voice slurred and soft and barely audible.

“I love you.”

Emily’s hand froze on JJ’s arm for a fraction of a second.

She’d known. JJ had shown it in a thousand little ways. The way she always brought her coffee the way she liked it, the way she stayed late in Emily’s office when she didn’t need to, the way she looked at her like there was no one else in the room, and touched Emily with such need, it was concerning.

But hearing those three words whispered into the quiet felt surreal.

Because she loved JJ too, of course, she did, and that terrified her.

JJ had already drifted, oblivious to the way Emily’s heart had kicked up, to the storm of thoughts she’d stirred awake.

She didn’t say it back. Not because she didn’t feel it, but because the words felt too big, too fragile, and because once she said them, there would be no taking them back, no denying that she had completely fallen.

So instead, she tucked the blanket around JJ’s shoulders, and whispered, so softly, “Sleep, sweetheart.”

JJ made a tiny, contented hum and melted completely against her.

Emily lay awake a little longer, staring at the ceiling, her mind buzzing, even though she was exhausted. But JJ’s weight in her arms was enough for her mind to eventually go quiet, and slowly, Emily closed her eyes too, holding JJ tighter.

Chapter Text

They had been together for months now, if you could call together stolen nights that ended up with them tangled in Emily’s sheets, half asleep, lazily draped over each other, always trying to pretend the morning wouldn’t come with the reality of who they were to each other at work.

It didn’t get easier as time went. Not really.

The longer Emily let herself fall for JJ, the harder it was to find the clean line back out. She told herself she hadn’t crossed it. She told herself she still had some control. But then JJ would look at her like she already belonged to her, and Emily would feel that old, warmth in her chest that had nothing to do with logic and everything to do with the fact that no matter how much she tried to deny it, she didn’t want to back out.

She caught JJ’s eyes for a brief moment as she explained their unsubs to the team. Blue eyes so soft for her, the same eyes that held so much love in Emily’s bed night after night.

The ones that had been closed and tired during a sleepy love confession that had thrown her off balance. Made her feel chosen and seen in a way that was both intoxicating and terrifying. Emily had tried not to think about it since to no avail.

She cleared her head and instead focused on what they were doing. There were so many places she would rather be in that moment, so many things she would rather be doing. None of them involved a prison in the middle of December with her team freezing inside walls that never seemed to get warm.

But they had a job to do.

Even if it felt like a dead end, they still had to try.

Emily took a deep breath. She stole one last glance at JJ, gave her a small smile and went to do her job.

Jacob Dawes was extremely calm and nonchalant for a person that was to be executed in a few hours. He didn’t look scared. He didn’t look even slightly bothered about the fact that he was hours away from dying. Instead, the bastard looked amused.

Emily took in the details without letting her face change. The calm posture, the easy breathing, the way his hands shuffled a deck of cards over and over again. Men like him liked to control the pace, the room, the conversation, the people around him. They liked to make you feel like you’d stepped into their world, even if that world was currently surrounded by bars and guards.

“Want to see a trick?,” he asked siting down just as Emily did, spreading the cards in font of the table.

She didn’t entertain him.

“You're a diagnosed psychopath,” she said.

He smiled. Slow and confident.

“Sexual psychopath.” He corrected her. “Now pick a card”

Emily folded her hands on the table. No movement too quick. No emotion too visible. She wasn't going to play his games.

“How many other girls did you kill?”

He leaned forward a fraction looking at her in a way that was unsettling.

“Do you ever smile?” he asked. “I bet you have a beautiful smile; it's hard to trust a gal that doesn't smile.”

Coming from anyone, the comment would've irked her but from him it was especially repulsive.

Emily let the silence stretch.

“Are there more bodies?”

She asked again, holding his gaze.

“If I told you that, what would I have left for myself?”

“You could help families get closure before you die.”

“I could,” he took a deep breath, taunting her. “But I don't really care to.”

He was a performer with a captive audience, and he knew exactly what his role was supposed to be. Emily knew men like him had no remorse and it was clear that he went a step further, not only was he proud of what he’d done, he enjoyed the fact that he was the only one that knew how far his depravitites went. And keeping that from them, well that was part of the satisfaction.

Emily didn’t bite.

She was aware of the camera in the corner. A tiny red light. Her team on the other side. Watching, trying to catch something that would be able to be used against him. She didn’t need to look to know they were there.

Jacob did. He glanced at the camera like he was acknowledging a crowd.

“You’ve got your rules and your little group back there. You’ve got your profiles.”

He said it with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“But you don’t have what I really want.”

Emily kept her voice level.

“What do you really want?”

He looked at her for a beat, like he was deciding what version of himself to give her.

"A cigarette to start, and for you to pick a card."

JJ watched Emily sit down across from Jacob Dawes and take control of the room without raising her voice or shifting her posture.

Emily was good at this. JJ knew she’d been doing it for years and she was as good as any of them got, better than all of them. She could work her way into the minds of unsubs before they could even notice and she could do it easily. It was fascinating to see and it only made JJ’s admiration for the woman grow even more.

But she could tell he wasn’t making it easy for Emily. She watched the smile, the fake interest, the way his eyes kept drifting to the camera like he wasn’t just talking to Emily, he was performing for everyone who could see him.

He corrected Emily smugly, “sexual psychopath.” He looked pleased by the label, intent on pointing out the difference as if it made him somehow superior.

JJ felt a wave of disgust. She’d dealt with plenty of monsters, but this one was the brand that liked to pretend he was charming and it made his crimes even more horrid.

She watched the way his attention focused on Emily, the little hunger he didn’t bother to hide.

He wasn’t giving them much, and he probably wouldn’t unless they threw him off. They had to provoke a reaction from him, had to use something to get him to start talking.

She had to think of a way to help, to be useful, and that’s when it clicked.

She was useful. If she walked in, he’d focus on her. If he focused on her, Emily could steer the room. They could get what they needed and get out.

Garcia saw the thought process run through her brain and caught her wrist before she reached the door.

“JJ, no,” she whispered.

Her voice was small enough that JJ almost pretended she hadn’t heard the fear in it.

“Pumpkin, you do not have to do this.”

JJ knew that, but she had to help Emily.

“I know.”

“You know he’s going to be disgusting.”

“Pen he’s already disgusting,” she said quietly. “I’d rather he be focused on me so Emily can find a way to get to him.”

Garcia let her wrist go and looked almost as afraid as JJ felt.

“Emily’s going to kill you.”

JJ managed a small smile just to ease her nerves.

“Probably.”

She messed up her hair a bit, unbuttoned her blazer and walked in.

The change in Jacob was immediate. He sat up straighter, the boredom and taunts falling off his face. His eyes went from Emily to JJ and stayed there, hungry, as if someone had finally brought him something he’d been waiting for.

Emily turned so fast when she heard the familiar footsteps behind her. For a second she forgot she was Chief, forgot the cameras, forgot the guards and the fact that this was supposed to be a controlled interview. All she could see was JJ in the doorway and Young. Beautiful. Blonde. The kind of woman he’d built his sick little fantasies around. The kind of woman he’d proven he didn’t know how to see as human but as something for him to do whatever he pleased to.

Fear hit her first, then anger so fast and hot she had to push it down. JJ didn’t take reckless risks for fun. JJ took them because she cared and because she believed she could carry the weight of the job for everyone else. Emily respected that. Emily loved that. And right now it made her want to pull her out of the room by the elbow and shut the door with her body between them.

JJ didn’t look nervous, not in any way Jacob would be able to use. She looked composed, that calm, casual expression she used when she wanted people to underestimate her. Emily hated how effective it was. She hated even more that JJ had chosen to use it here.

She met Emily’s eyes for a second.

I’ve got this.

Emily hated that she understood what that really meant.

You can be mad later. Let me do my job now.

“And who are you?” Jacob asked.

“My friends call me JJ.”

Jacob stood, going to approach her.

“Well hello—”

“Sit down,” Emily cut in, stepping into his path.

She made it sound like a simple instruction. The truth was she didn’t trust the distance between Jacob and JJ for even one extra heartbeat.

Jacob smiled like he enjoyed being ordered around.

“Hello, JJ.” He said, sitting back down, never taking his eyes off her as he let them travel through her body.

“You’re not my friend,” JJ said. “You can call me Jennifer.”

He said her name after that like he was tasting it.

Emily saw it in his eyes, the recognition.

Jacob was looking at JJ with the same hunger he had in his eyes when he looked at the file of the women he’d already hurt and women he still thought he had the right to imagine hurting. Emily could almost hear the case file flipping open in her mind, the victim photos lining up behind JJ’s profile, and she had to force herself to keep her face neutral.

JJ pulled out a chair and sat.

Emily sat beside her, close enough that she could touch their thighs under the table and feel JJ without looking at her. She wanted to say get out. She wanted to say you didn’t clear this with me before doing something stupid and reckless for no good reason. Instead she gave Jacob one last look that dared him to try anything.

JJ kept her expression as neutral as she could, Emily watched that expression a hundred times in front of reporters, one that allowed her to do her job.

But Emily also knew her well enough to catch the smallest tells. The way she tension accumulated in her shoulders, the way she kept her hands still in her lap, picking at her fingers where it wasn't visible. It was JJ trying to refuse to give a man like this a crumb of satisfaction.

Jacob leaned forward, clearly delighted the moment had shifted.

“I want a game,” he said looking at JJ.

Emily didn’t hesitate.

“No.”

Jacob leaned back.

“If she doesn’t want to play, you can.”

“I can play,” JJ said.

Emily turned her head slowly.

“JJ.”

One word. All warning. All the anger she couldn’t afford to show in front of him. All the fear that had settled into her chest.

JJ held her gaze.

She kept her face calm.

Inside, her pulse was a little too fast. She could feel the adrenaline trying to outrun her composure. She told herself this was simple. A controlled risk to keep Jacob predictable. But she couldn’t ignore the feeling that he was enjoying this too much, that he wasn’t really interested in the cards. He was interested in the permission this gave him to talk about her like she was something he could win.

Jacob drummed his fingers on the table enjoying the tension between them.

“Tell you this, if you win,” he said to Emily as he started dealing the cards, “I give you another victim.”

Then he looked at JJ with open satisfaction.

“And if I win, I get to smell her hair.”

JJ felt her skin go tight.

Emily’s voice dropped.

“That’s not happening.”

Jacob shrugged.

“Then you don’t get your answer.”

Emily took a small breath, deciding if she was willing to risk this. After a moment she took the cards from him, handing them to JJ.

“She deals.”

It was the most controlled thing Emily had done all day and it cost her more than she wanted anyone to see. If JJ was going to sit in this seat, Emily needed Jacob to learn one thing clearly. He didn’t get to set the rules.

Emily’s eyes snapped to JJ, but JJ didn’t give her anything back except a calm expression.

“You will keep your hands to yourself,” Emily said.

Jacob smiled.

“Of course.”

He was lying.

JJ took the deck from Emily willing her fingers not to shake.

“You’re calm,” he said.

JJ didn’t look up.

“I’m here to do my job.”

He laughed.

“I like a girl who can pretend she isn’t scared, but I can see it in your eyes baby”

Emily felt the urge to punch him right there but she didn’t, instead she pressed her leg harder against JJ to reassure her.

Because JJ was afraid. She kept thinking about his victims, about the fantasy he’d built out of it and the lives he had taken, and the reason she was even doing this despite knowing Emily was going to be furious with her later.

She delt the cards and watched silently as they played, Emily’s warmth keeping her as calm as it possibly could, reminding her she trusted her to not let anything happen.

A few minutes later, the hands were down.

Emily turned her cards over. Eights and aces.

Jacob’s smile widened.

“That’s a nice hand, Prentiss.”

Then he flipped his cards. A straight with a jack leading.

JJ went still, panic momentarily running through her as Jacob looked at her like he was about to collect a trophy.

Emily didn’t blink.

“Before you get excited,” she said, calm and sharp, “you should count again.”

Jacob frowned.

Emily placed the last card on the table. A third ace.

His smile faltered.

“You cheated.”

“No.”

Her voice was quiet.

“You underestimated me.”

Jacob’s face tightened.

“There are no other bodies,” he snapped.

“Try again.” Emily let out, not believing him for a second.

But his eyes had shifted back to JJ.

And JJ knew what was coming, she felt it before he moved.

Jacob reached across the table. His hand closed around her hair near the back of her head. The pull was hard enough to send a sharp pain through her head, hard enough to make the point, and hard enough to get a yelp out of her which only seemed to satisfy him more.

In a matter of seconds he leaned in, dragging her closer by her hair like he was claiming something he’d always believed he owned, and he inhaled. Slow. Greedy. Disgustingly satisfied.

Then he lowered his mouth to her ear, his lips hot against her. “You’d love the things I’d do to your pretty body,” he murmured.

The words were low enough that only she heard them. She tried to stay composed, tried not to give him fear. But her heart was pounding so hard she could feel it in her throat.

Emily stood so fast her chair scraped the floor.

“Get your hand off her.”

Jacob laughed, breathy and pleased.

The guard moved in, but Emily was already there before he could even stop her.

She shoved Jacob back so harshly his shoulders hit the wall.

“Touch her again,” Emily said, low and furious, “and I will make sure your last hours on this earth are worse than you can imagine.”

It came out harsh and with authority, but under it there was fear, raw fear because she had let JJ sit in that chair. Because she had known this was possible and for one second she hadn’t been able to stop him.

Jacob didn’t look scared, he looked thrilled.

He was watching Emily now, really watching her, and she realized in that moment with a sick clarity that he hadn’t just been studying JJ. He’d been studying them, the way Emily had moved to block him, the way her voice went tight and sharp every time he went to talk to JJ, the way her focus no matter how hard she tried kept snapping to her even when she tried to keep it professional.

He’d been reading them like a second game.

The guard pulled Emily back.

Jacob kept laughing, eyes locked with Emily’s.

“She’s so pretty isn’t she? No wonder you want her all for yourself.”

The satisfaction in his voice made Emily’s stomach turn, he wasn’t just proud that he had been fast enough to touch JJ, he was proud that he’d done it after figuring out that she wasn’t just a colleague. Not just a liaison and a convenient target that looked like his victims.

She was Emily’s, and he wanted Emily to know that he understood that when he did it.

Emily kept her face still. Refused to give him more of a reaction. But inside, the fury was burning through her control.

JJ wanted to reach for her, wanted to pull Emily out of the room before she would do something she would regret.

Instead, she met Emily’s eyes.

A small nod.

I’m okay. Don’t give him more than he already took.

Emily swallowed whatever she wanted to say right there.

“Guard,” she said, moving them away.

JJ noticed the way Emily’s body went back between them, protective and automatic, noticed the way Emily didn’t look back at Jacob again, noticed how angry she looked and thought for a moment that she shouldn’t have done this.

Emily didn’t speak again until the door shut behind them. She walked them down the hall, and JJ followed. They went far enough away that the guards couldn’t hear a word, were Jacob Dawes was just a voice and a set of eyes behind bars.

They rounded the corner and found an empty pocket of hallway near the small staging area the team had set up. Garcia was waiting there, eyes wide, like she’d been holding her breath for the last five minutes as she watched the events transpire.

JJ opened her mouth to say something reassuring, but Emily spoke first.

“Give us a second.”

Garcia hesitated, glanced at JJ, then nodded and stepped back toward the monitors.

Emily turned to JJ.

“Let me see you.”

“Em–”

“Let me see you.”

It came out harsher than Emily probably intended but it got JJ’s protest to die in her throat.

Emily stepped closer and reached for her without thinking, fingers lifting to the back of JJ’s head. Her touch was gentle in a way that didn’t match the anger coming off of her in waves. She checked her scalp, her neck, the line of her jaw. Her thumb brushed the skin behind JJ’s ear, searching for redness, swelling, anything that might show later.

JJ stayed still. She wasn’t used to Emily being this tender in public.

“I’m fine,” JJ tried even though it didn’t sound convincing at all.

Emily’s hand dropped, then came back up like she couldn’t help herself. She brushed her fingers through the spot again, softer this time, as if she could erase the moment by proving she was the last person to touch her.

“What did he say to you,” Emily asked.

JJ hesitated.

Not because she was protecting his words but because she really didn’t want to watch Emily’s face change again.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“JJ.”

“He was trying to get a reaction,” JJ said. Calm on the outside, trying to keep it simple. “That’s all.”

Emily stared at her. The tenderness vanished so fast it almost felt like a trick.

“Jesus Christ, JJ.”

“I know,” JJ said, carefully. “But we needed—”

“No.” Emily cut her off, sharp enough that Garcia looked up instinctively from across the room.

JJ lowered her voice.

“Emily, it was necessary. He wasn’t giving us anything, and I—”

“Do you have any idea how reckless that was? You walked into a room with a man who killed,tortured and raped girls who look like you and you didn’t clear it with me. You didn’t clear it with anyone. You put yourself at risk for nothing without authorization.”

JJ flinched a little at that, even though Emily didn’t raise her voice. The word sat heavy between them.

Emily took a breath, like she was trying to calm herself.

Then she snapped.

JJ opened her mouth.

Emily didn’t let her.

“I don’t care how brave you think you were being. This isn’t some press conference where you can walk in and control the narrative with a smile. This was a predator with nothing left to lose.”

JJ felt the sting behind her eyes, a mix of frustration and regret.

“I could handle it,” she said quietly.

Emily’s laugh was short and humorless.

“That’s the point. You shouldn’t have to. That’s not your job unless you clear it with me.”

JJ went still.

She knew Emily was furious. She’d expected that. What she hadn’t expected was this part, the part that sounded personal even when Emily was trying so hard to keep it locked behind her title.

Emily lowered her voice, glancing down the hall. The cameras were still there. The team was still nearby. They were not alone enough for this.

“We’re not doing this here,” Emily said.

JJ nodded once, even though her stomach was tight.

Emily looked at her again, and the anger didn’t soften, but something gentler slipped through the cracks.

“You’re sure you’re not hurt?”

“I’m sure.”

Emily looked at her for a moment, trying to find if JJ meant it.

Then she straightened, the Chief sliding back into place over everything else.

“Go back to Penelope. Stay with her until this is finished.”

JJ blinked. “Emily—”

“Please.”

JJ had never been good at taking orders that felt like they were really worry in disguise. She wanted to argue. She wanted to say she was fine, she was trained, she knew what she was doing.

But she also knew Emily was one more push away from saying something she couldn’t take back.

“Okay,” JJ said quietly.

Emily turned her head slightly, as if she needed the wall for a second.

“We’ll talk about it when this is all over.”

The words were professional.

The tone wasn’t

JJ nodded again and stepped back.

“Garcia,” Emily said, acknowledging the other woman in the room who had been badly pretending not to eavesdrop. “Let’s get eyes back on that interview feed and the timeline. We’re not done.”

Then she turned and walked away to regroup with the rest of the team, as composed as she could be.

JJ watched her go.

The rest of the case moved fast after that, like the universe was trying to get them out of the prison before anyone had time to think too hard about what had almost happened.

Jacob and Laura Jean were executed. Their son was alive and well. They hadn’t found more victims, and they hadn’t stopped an innocent woman from being executed. Safe to say that if not for the satisfaction of telling Jacob his son was alive, the case hadn’t gone particularly well.

JJ tried to hold onto the one thing that mattered. A child was safe. That had to count. A win was a win even when the rest of the work went sideways, even when the relief came with the rest of their failures.

Emily had buried her emotions, she had singed off on the paperwork, spoken to the team, checked procedures and gotten them all out into the cold night air and into their cars. Emily didn’t get in with JJ. She said something to Morgan and slid into another SUV without looking back.

The message of her actions was obvious enough that JJ didn’t even try to follow. Not now, not here, not yet.

The drive back was long and quiet. Garcia chatted to fill the space, because that was what she did when everyone’s nerves were tight, but JJ didn’t give her much.

She watched the winter landscape blur by and tried not to rub the tender spot on her scalp. She focused on the memory of Emily’s fingers instead, so careful and soft in the hallway, and tried not to let her mind return to Jacob’s breath at her ear or the satisfaction in his voice when he’d figured out what JJ was to Emily.

It was the worst part of the whole thing. Not that he’d touched her, but that he’d touched her with the certainty that it would hurt Emily too.

They got back to Quantico late into the night, and Emily was gone before JJ could even fully unbuckle. JJ tried to follow her a few steps behind on instinct before she stopped herself. Because chasing her in the parking lot would make it worse, she slowed down and went up with everyone else.

She could feel their eyes on her. If they hadn’t known before, they definitely did now. They were profilers. She was sure she was easier to read today than she’d ever been in her life. And the fact that Jacob had said it out loud to Emily, right there in the room, made it impossible for anyone to pretend they hadn’t heard the implication.

The giant elephant wasn’t just that she was sleeping with the boss.

It was that the boss had looked like she might put a man through a wall over it.

A ping from Rossi’s phone broke the tension right as they stepped out of the elevator.

“Right,” he said, reading the message. “Boss says we all get to go home. Good work, everyone.” He said, as if that was enough to wrap up their shitty day and walked right back into the elevator like he wanted to be out of the building before anyone could stop him.

JJ didn’t move, she wanted to follow Emily, corner her gently, say I know you’re angry, I know I crossed a line, but I need you to look at me and tell me we’re okay.

Instead, she found herself surrounded by the team packing up, tired and quiet .

“I should go check in with her,” JJ said.

Garcia looked at her with immediate sympathy and shook her head.

“Nope.”

“Pen.”

“Jennifer.”

JJ hated how much that stopped her. Garcia didn’t use her full name often. When she did, it meant she was serious.

“I need to talk to her,” JJ said, voice low.

“And you will,” Garcia said. “But not tonight. Not like this.”

“I’m fine.”

Garcia just gave her that look that always made JJ feel both loved and called out.

“You’re not fine. You’re just very good at pretending you are.” She linked her arm through JJ’s before JJ could resist properly. “We’re going for a drink.”

JJ wanted to protest. But Penelope was already pulling her away, and if she was honest, a drink sounded like the only way to make her body stop humming with leftover adrenaline.

So an hour later she found herself across from Garcia in a small bar that was too crowded and too cheerful. Christmas music played softly under the noise of conversation as people tried to warm up from the cold. The windows were fogged, the lights were warm, and the whole place smelled like fries and cinnamon and whatever holiday cocktail had become trendy this year.

Garcia talked.

JJ drank.

For a while it worked. For a while JJ could laugh and let the day blur into something more manageable.

Then it stopped working.

Because every time she closed her eyes, she saw Emily’s face.

By the time Garcia decided they’d had enough, JJ was warm and dizzy and drunk enough to have the courage to give the uber Emily’s address instead of her own.

Across town, Emily finished her report with the Director. She didn’t mention how fear had punched right through her training when she’d seen that hand close around JJ’s hair. She didn’t mention the shame of knowing she’d let the situation get close enough for that to happen.

The Director thanked her, and then she drove home alone.

The city quieter and empty, snow thick on the sidewalks. The streets looked almost peaceful, and Emily let herself calm down as she drove them.

Emily’s apartment was dark when she walked in. She set her keys down carefully, took off her coat, and stood in the middle of her living room without moving. Thinking about how she was in love with a woman who would set herself on fire if she thought it would keep everyone else warm. A woman who made Emily’s job more difficult than it should be when she was impulsive and young.

She’s so pretty isn’t she? No wonder you want her all for yourself.

Emily had kept her expression neutral in the room when he'd said that. She’d been proud of that. She was less proud of how close she’d come to breaking him in half.

She poured a glass of wine and sat on the edge of the couch, trying to slow her breathing. She told herself she would have one glass, get in bed, and talk to JJ tomorrow when things weren’t quite as raw.

She told herself a lot of things, things that were interrupted when a knock came at the door.

She froze, glass halfway to her mouth.

Another knock, softer this time.

Emily set the wine down and crossed the apartment, confident in what was waiting for her on the other side of the door.

When she opened it, JJ was there.

Not falling down drunk, not sloppy, but definitely past the point of good decisions. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and the alcohol. Her hair was a little mussed from the wind, and her coat already halfway off. She was holding herself upright with sheer will and pride.

Her eyes found Emily’s, soft, stubborn, a little glassy. The same eyes that Emily could get lost in and that have always been filled with so much love when looking at her.

“Hi,” JJ said.

Emily didn’t answer right away instead, she looked at the woman she loved standing in the hallway, covered in snow, after a day that had nearly gone wrong in all the ways that mattered.

“You shouldn’t be here JJ,” she said quietly, though she didn't really mean it.

JJ swallowed.

“I know it’s late,” she said, voice slurred, “but I couldn’t—”

Emily exhaled, slow.

The lecture could wait three more seconds.

“Come inside before you freeze,” she said.

Emily stepped aside and JJ came in with the cold still clinging to her coat and hair, bringing it in with her.

Emily closed the door behind them and turned, ready to say something rational and careful, something that would keep the conversation from turning into a fight right there in her entryway.

She didn’t get the chance.

JJ reached for her like she’d been holding her breath all day and finally couldn’t anymore. Her hands found Emily’s shirt, then her face, and before Emily could even form a sentence JJ was kissing her. It was messy and desperate and a little uncoordinated, all emotion and no thinking. The kind of kiss that was less about seduction and more about panic and need.

Emily froze for half a heartbeat.

Because God, she wanted her.

Because the last hours had been a storm of fear and anger and love conflicting through her.

Because JJ had always been intoxicating, even when she was making Emily furious.

JJ’s fingers slid up to her hair, her mouth pressing closer, moving like she was trying to erase the fight before it could really begin. Like she could make Emily forget everything by replacing it with heat and familiarity and the kind of touch that normally left Emily weak and willing.

Then she felt the slight sway in JJ’s balance, the soft clumsiness beneath the confidence, the taste of alcohol in her mouth and the reality snapped into place.

“Hey,” Emily said, pulling back.

JJ didn’t let go right away. She chased the space between them like she could fix everything by closing it.

“Em,” she mumbled, already leaning in again, hands sliding lower, bolder, trying to turn this into something physical before words could get in the way.

Emily caught her wrists, not rough, but firm enough to stop her.

“No.”

JJ blinked up at her, confused for a second in that soft, unfocused way that made Emily want to smile.

“What?” JJ asked.

“You’re drunk.”

JJ opened her mouth like she was going to argue. Like she was going to insist she was fine and steady and capable of making decisions.

“No, I’m not,” she said, but the words were slurred around the truth. “I’m just— I just needed to see you.”

“I know,” Emily said, and it came out gentler than she intended.

JJ stared at her like she was trying to focus through fog.

Emily could feel the need, the desire of wanting to pull JJ back in and kiss her until the day disappeared, the reality of knowing she couldn’t do that to either of them right now. Not when JJ wouldn’t remember it clearly. Not when a kiss could become another decision JJ made in the heat of emotion instead of the calm of consent.

“I can’t,” Emily added quietly. “Not like this.”

That was when JJ’s face crumpled.

It happened fast, one second she was frustrated and bold, the next her eyes were glassy, her mouth trembling like she hated that she was about to cry.

JJ’s eyes finally filled over quickly and then she was crying, sudden and helpless, like the tears had been waiting in her throat all day.

“I’m sorry,” she said, voice breaking. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to— I thought— I just wanted to help you and I didn’t think he would— I didn’t think he’d—”

Emily’s heart tightened painfully.

She stepped closer, lifted both hands to JJ’s face, and wiped the tears away with her thumbs as if she could clear the whole day from her skin.

“I know sweetheart,” she said quietly, the endearment slipping out before she could overthink it.

JJ’s face twitched, like the word both comforted her and broke her heart a little.

“No, you don’t— you’re so mad at me.”

“I am,” Emily admitted, honest because JJ deserved that. “But that’s not what we’re doing right now.”

JJ let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like relief.

Emily guided her by the shoulders toward the hallway.

“Come on. You need a bed more than you need a reprimand.”

JJ gave a wet laugh that didn’t really sound like laughter.

“I’m not a child.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

JJ moved with her, a little unsteady, trusting Emily’s hands like she always did when she was too tired to pretend she didn’t need anyone.

“I’m sorry,” JJ said again.

“I heard you.”

“I really am.” She swallowed hard. “I didn’t ask you. I know I should’ve. I just… I didn’t want him to get away with it.”

Emily paused.

She wanted to say a dozen things. But JJ’s knees wobbled slightly and the conversation couldn’t win against that simple fact that right now things wouldn’t register or make a difference.

Emily opened the guest room door and flicked on the lamp.

The light was warm, softer than the harsh whites of the prison and the office. JJ looked smaller in it, younger, stripped of the way she tried to make herself appear older at work.

Emily helped her out of her coat, then her shoes. She didn’t hover, didn’t make it a big deal, just went through the motion of getting JJ comfortable.

JJ sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her hand like she was embarrassed by how vulnerable she’d become.

“I’m really sorry,” she said again, quieter now.

Emily nodded.

“We’ll talk tomorrow.”

JJ looked up fast.

“You promise?”

Emily hesitated for half a second.

Because she was still angry, and JJ was still reckless, and love didn’t erase the parts of her job that kept people alive.

But she softened her voice anyway.

“I promise.”

That was enough for JJ to exhale.

Emily pulled back the covers and guided her down gently, like she was handling something fragile even though JJ was the strongest person Emily knew.

She tucked the blanket up to her chest.

JJ’s eyes were already heavy, the alcohol and exhaustion finally winning.

“Don’t hate me,” JJ whispered, barely audible.

Emily looked at her and felt the last of the anger start to go.

“I could never,” she said, quietly.

A small, sleepy sound came out of JJ.

“Okay.”

Emily brushed a loose strand of hair back from her forehead, and allowed herself to lean down and press a sof kiss to her temple.

“Try to sleep, sweetheart.”

JJ nodded once, already fading.

Emily turned off the lamp, leaving the door cracked open, and stood there in the dim hallway for a beat longer than she meant to.

Because she loved her so much it felt like both a gift and a liability.

Then she walked away, hoping to get some sleep before she let herself do something stupid like crawl into that bed too.

But sleep had barely come, she had spend half the night trying to quiet the noise in her head and had only manage to sleep in fits. She had woken early, tried to read, tried to answer emails and yet she could only think of the girl asleep in her guest bed.

Anger had burned out somewhere between her first and second cup of coffee. There was no point in it anymore, she had already reprimanded her yesterday and now all that was left in Emily was fear and the reality that she really did love JJ with all of her being. She loved her more than she had love anyone else and that’s why she had barely controlled herself.

She carried a mug of coffee down the hall, then paused, reconsidered, and went back to the kitchen.

She pulled an ice pack from the freezer and wrapped it in a dish towel. She listened to the instinct that said JJ would need it

JJ was curled on her side, hair a mess, face pressed into the pillow, sheets pulled mostly over her head to hide herself from the light.

Emily set the coffee on the nightstand quietly.

“Hey,” she said softly.

JJ made a muffled sound that could’ve been a greeting or a complaint.

Emily smiled despite herself.

“Good morning.”

JJ turned her face just enough to squint at her. The vulnerability in her expression was immediate.

“God,” she muttered. “I’m never drinking again.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

JJ let out a weak, hungover laugh that turned into a wince when she shifted her head.
Emily noticed.

Of course she noticed.

She waited until JJ pushed herself up a little, then eased the ice pack against the back of her head where he had grabbed her.

JJ sucked in a breath.

“You lied to me,” she said, “you said it didn’t hurt”

JJ looked away.

“I didn’t want you to be more upset.”

“That’s the thing,” she said softly. “I’m not upset anymore.”

JJ turned back, confused.

Emily didn’t blame her.

“I was last night,” Emily admitted. “I was furious. And I meant every word I said at the prison. But I’m not here to do a repeat performance.”

JJ swallowed.

“Okay.”

Emily shifted closer, still holding the ice pack in place, thumb resting lightly against the edge of the towel.

“I just need you to hear me with a clear head.”

JJ nodded once.

Emily took a breath.

She didn’t want this to sound like supervision. She didn’t want it to sound like a lecture coming from her superior officer. She wanted it to sound like the truth, because that was what it was.

“You don’t get to treat yourself like you’re expendable.”

JJ blinked.

“I didn’t think I was.”

“I think sometimes you act like you are,” Emily said.

JJ still believed courage could protect her. Emily knew courage was sometimes just the thing that put you closest to the edge.

“I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve watched good agents get hurt because they thought they could carry one more risk than they actually could. I’ve watched people convince themselves that bravery is the same thing as being disposable.”

JJ’s throat moved.

She didn’t interrupt.

“I can handle you being brave,” Emily said. “I love that you are. But I can’t handle you deciding you’re the obvious sacrifice every time the room needs one.”

The silence deepened.

JJ’s voice was smaller when she finally spoke.

“I didn’t think it would go that far.”

“I did,” Emily said gently.

Not to blame her. Just to be honest.

“I knew what he was. I knew his pattern. And when you walked in, I… I felt like the ground shifted under me.”

JJ’s eyes fell to her lap.

Emily hated that she’d made her feel guilty again, but she couldn’t soften this into something easier. Not if she wanted it to stick.

“I need you to understand something,” Emily said, quiet and steady. “This isn’t about me being your boss.”

JJ breathed in slowly.

“Okay.”

Emily’s hand slid from the ice pack to JJ’s cheek for a brief second, an almost unconscious touch.

“This is about me loving you.”

JJ froze.

Emily didn’t look away.

She didn’t rush it either.

“I love you so much it scares the hell out of me,” she said simply. “And I’m tired of pretending that what I felt yesterday was just professional concern.”

JJ’s lips parted like she was trying to figure out how to respond.

Emily gave her a small, imperfect smile.

“You don’t have to say anything right now. You’re hungover and miserable and you look like you might fall back asleep in a minute.”

That earned a shaky laugh.

“I didn’t expect you to say it like that.”

“How did you expect me to say it?”

“I don’t know,” JJ admitted. “With more… dramatic flair.”

Emily smiled then, small and real.

“I’m too old for dramatic flair.”

JJ swallowed again, eyes glassy now.

“I love you too.”

Emily nodded like she’d needed to hear it this time in daylight to let it fully settle in her.

“Good,” she said quietly. “Because I’m not doing this halfway anymore.”

JJ’s brows lifted.

Emily moved the ice pack again, grounding herself in the simple act of caring for her.

“You don’t get to scare me like that and then we go and pretend this is just fun or convenient or something casual. If we’re doing this, we do it like it matters.”

JJ’s voice went soft.

“It does matter.”

“I know.”

They sat with that for a moment, the apartment quiet around them, the snow outside muffling the world.

JJ leaned back into the pillow, eyes closing briefly, a small look of discomfort moving across her face.

Emily brushed her hair away from her forehead.

“You should drink your coffee.”

JJ smiled faintly.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t start.”

JJ’s smile deepened, tired and grateful and full of something that finally felt safe.

“I’m just saying,” she murmured, “I kind of like you taking care of me.”

Emily shook her head, but her voice was soft when she answered.

“Try not to give me a heart attack again and we’ll see in what other ways I can take care of you.”

That earned a small laugh from both of them.

JJ smiled into the mug and finally looked up at her like she was processing it all. “You really meant it?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean,” Emily said, and the softness in her voice made the words feel even more real.

JJ set the coffee down, then reached for Emily’s hand, tugging gently, not reckless this time, not trying to erase anything. Just asking.

Emily leaned in and kissed her.

It wasn’t rushed and messsy. It wasn’t a desperate apology disguised as heat. It was slow and careful and grounded in the reality that they loved each other. JJ’s fingers curled into Emily’s sleeve, and Emily let herself stay there long enough to feel the tension of the last twenty four hours finally loosen.

When they pulled apart, JJ rested her forehead briefly against Emily’s shoulder.

Emily brushed her thumb over JJ’s knuckles, kissing her forehead before whispering once again. “I love you.”