Chapter Text
December 27th, 2025.
Southern California.
6 AM.
It never gets any easier.
Inside the entertainment industry, graduations are treated as the end of all, almost like passing away. A beloved idol says her final goodbye, the curtain closes and the talent disappears from public eye, having fulfilled her role of inspiring millions.
Hololive works the same way, or at least in a very similar way. Today is Amane Kanata's graduation concert, she decided that she would no longer be a member of Hololive Japan, she's starting to lose her hearing and the evergrowing intensity of work is something she cannot tank, nor should she tank.
One hour before the concert begins. And Gigi tries to keep her feelings inside.
She thought it would be different as a coworker instead of a fan. For years, she cheered, she cried, she laughed, now she had become her coworker. Even if the language barrier was clear, she felt happy to "be in the same team"
She thought it would hurt less.
But it never gets any easier.
It hurts differently now, quieter, heavier, closer to the chest. Like losing a pillar you didn’t realize you’d been leaning on until it was gone.
Gigi presses the heel of her palm into her eye, then groans softly.
She stands up, pacing once, twice, then stops. Her hands feel restless, useless. She reaches for her phone despite herself.
Mori Calliope. Let's begin.
Gigi: "Hello?"
Mori: "Sup."
"Doing okay?"
Gigi: "It's like 5 AM in your time!"
Mori: "Yeah, I stayed up to watch Kanata."
"...I think all of Hololive did, hah..."
"Again, you okay?"
Gigi: "...as good as someone can be."
"...I can't help to think I came at a bad time, hahahahahah..."
"Gura, Ame, Mumei, Fauna, Aqua, Chloe...now Kanata."
Mori: "...I don't think anyone can thank you enough for the work you did at the beginning of the year."
"You're right, we lost a lot of girls, but you were there, and you cheered us up."
"You did a good job."
Gigi: "But now..."
"I don't think I have it in me, to...stand up again."
"Finally...it got to me."
Mori: "But now...WE have recovered."
"And we'll be there for you, as you were for us."
There’s no bravado now. No cool girl persona.
Just Calliope, the senpai who has buried more goodbyes than she ever wanted to.
Mori: "I'm tired."
"I want this year to end already."
"But at least that's a better feeling that what I felt on May."
"I wanted to throw away everything and cry myself to sleep."
"Nowadays...well, the memories still sting, but I know there will be a new day."
Gigi: "...I'm glad to have helped you guys."
Mori: "Now it's our turn."
"How can we help you?"
Gigi: "...I don't know."
"I remember...losing my mind with her 3D Lives, wanting to be like her, an...an idol that could fill up venues and make people happy."
"Things were difficult back home, money was a bit tight and..."
Mori: "Your mom."
Gigi: "She tries to get better."
"Emphasis on TRIES."
"So...Kanata and FUWAMOCO...they felt like an inspiration, a dream, if I worked hard I could be like them."
"All of that work, t-that training, all the things I've learned and that I've lived, and when I finally get there, a-and we become...coworkers a-and friends!"
"...she leaves?"
The word leaves hangs there, unfinished, like Gigi doesn’t quite believe it herself. Like if she doesn’t let the sentence fully land, reality might hesitate too.
Mori doesn’t interrupt.
She lets the words spill out, uneven and raw, because she knows that if she steps in too early, Gigi will clamp down again.
Gigi: "I don't blame her, for ANYTHING."
"She...couldn't do it anymore and took her decision, that's perfectly fine."
"...but at the same time, there is this pesky, really nasty thought on the back of my head."
Mori: "What?"
Gigi: "She abandoned me."
As soon as they’re out there, hanging between the hum of the phone line and the quiet of her apartment, Gigi’s shoulders tense. Like she’s bracing for impact. Like she expects Mori to correct her, to shut that thought down immediately.
There’s a long pause.
Mori: "It feels like shit, doesn't it?"
"You're not supposed to say it, but..."
"We place a lot of trust in our idols."
"It took me years to fully understand it, and now it makes me a little scared."
Gigi: "But I don't understand...!"
"I-I'm good now, I have a good job, I have lots of friends, e-even my mom is a lot easier to deal with!"
"Why..."
"Does it hurt so much? I feel like I'm back...to being twenty-five."
Mori: "A little piece of the old you is leaving with her."
"...I know how it is, I've felt the same with a few musicians I looked up upon."
"But...I think it's a cycle, you know?"
"Right now you may be the inspiration for another girl that will join in the future, and that new girl will also be the inspiration for another."
"Did you pick anything from Kanata?"
Gigi: "That...I want to be an idol."
"E-even with my own...crazy touch."
"And that I want to make people happy."
Mori: "Then...keep her in your heart whenever you sing, and never forget what you learned from her."
"It's the most we can do, keep going."
Gigi: "..."
"Will you leave too?"
Mori: "You don't need to worry about me."
"I won't be graduating any time soon, and when I do it's to become management, I'm never fucking leaving."
"But...I know what you're feeling."
"Like 2026 will have more of the same, more graduations, more tears, more...all of that stuff."
"Lemme tell you..."
"The worst is over. And if you wanna cry, we'll be here for you."
Gigi wants to believe that.
She presses her lips together, breathing through her nose, phone warm against her ear.
Outside, the world is still half-asleep. The sky hasn’t decided what color it wants to be yet, stuck somewhere between night and morning, like it’s hesitating too.
Mori: "FUWAMOCO are on right now."
"Wanna talk with them?"
Gigi: "I imagine they're not having a good time either."
Mori: "You have no idea."
"Okay. I'll hang up."
"Go to sleep after the concert, okay?"
"Everything will be okay."
Gigi: "Thanks."
"Bye."
Gigi sits there for a few seconds longer, phone resting limply in her hand. Her chest still hurts, but it’s different now, less sharp, more like a bruise you’re aware of every time you breathe.
She stands slowly, feet padding across the floor, past the couch, past the faint glow of electronics. She pauses at a closed door.
She remembers the excitement of reading the email she always hoped to recieve.
At the same time, she remembers rambling on Discord, about how great Kanata was.
Let's continue.
Gigi: "Hello?"
Fuwawa: "Good evening!"
*sniff*
Gigi: "...everything okay there?"
Fuwawa: "Heh..."
"D-doing the best we can!"
"Sorry if Moco-chan can't talk to you, she's...still emotional about it."
"Crying...sometimes feels relaxing."
Gigi: "Yeah..."
"Say hi to Mococo."
Kindred souls.
Gigi looks up to Fuwawa and Mococo the same way she did with Kanata, perhaps that's why it's so surprising for her that they're sharing the same pain this day.
Unlike Gigi, the twin sisters were able to spend far more time together with Kanata, and we're able to know her better, to be with her better.
It hurts when you say goodbye to an idol, it hurts much worse when you say goodbye to a friend.
Fuwawa: "Isn't it very late in America?"
Gigi: "Y-yeah..."
"I stayed up late to watch the concert."
Fuwawa: "Oh...yeah."
"Heheheh~"
*sniff*
"Silly me."
Gigi: "...are you crying?"
Fuwawa: "..."
Gigi: "Sorry, dumb question."
Fuwawa: "No no no..."
"Don't worry about us."
"We were just...remembering a lot of stuff and...how Kanata-senpai inspired us to...be like her."
A small, breathy laugh escapes her, half-sobbing.
Gigi couldn't help but feel strange, a mixture of relief and dread.
FWMC are the second pillar of Gigi's career as a talent. Just like Kanata, she learned from them day by day.
So hearing them, seeing how they're also crying, and lamenting, and trying to be strong...
It's strange.
Because she is sharing a heartbreak with her idols.
Gigi: "It's...going to be okay."
"We still have lots of stuff to look forward to."
Fuwawa: "W-we should be the ones saying that to you."
"Hehehehe..."
*hic*
"Moco-chan, here's some water..."
"...give me a second."
Gigi: "Mhm, it's okay."
The line goes quiet again, filled with soft, indistinct sounds.
Fabric shifting, a bottle cap twisting, a shaky breath being steadied somewhere far away.
At this moment, they're not coworkers, nor senpai and kouhai, not even friends.
They're fans, together in their emotions.
Fuwawa: "Alright...sorry."
"Moco-chan needed some water to calm down."
"Remind us not to stream before emotional days, heheheh..."
*sniff*
Gigi: "I...now want to spend a little bit more time with you guys, if that's possible."
Fuwawa: "Oh...!"
"Are you worried about us?"
"D-don't worry, we're not going anywhere, we'll play together a-and sing together whenever you want!"
Gigi: "I know..."
"I just..."
"I look up to you guys and now that I have the CHANCE to...spend some time with you..."
"I would like to take it."
Fuwawa: "...KH..."
"S-senpais shouldn't be crying in front of their kouhais..."
"...really, thank you."
"I guess...we're in this together."
Because it isn’t admiration from afar anymore.
It’s shared jokes backstage, small advice whispered between rehearsals, encouragement given when no cameras were rolling. It’s memories that don’t belong to the audience.
It’s losing someone who knew your name.
Gigi: "We'll...manage."
"I hope so, at least, hahahahah..."
Fuwawa: "...stream is about to begin, would you like to watch it together?"
Gigi: "....actually..."
"I'll let you guys watch it by yourselves."
"I'm going to log off Discord and watch it by myself, if that's not a problem."
Fuwawa: "Okay, okay."
"We're going to watch it with Nerissa."
"H-have a good day!"
Gigi: "Bye!"
She exhales. A long one.
The apartment feels unusually quiet now, like it’s holding its breath with her.
She sits back down on the edge of the couch, phone resting beside her instead of clutched tight. The bruise in her chest pulses once, twice, there, but manageable. A reminder instead of a wound.
Inside, the room is dim, curtains half-drawn, early morning light sneaking in like it doesn’t want to intrude. Posters line the wall, some official, some old fan prints she never had the heart to take down. A shelf holds trinkets collected over years: acrylic stands, concert merch, even her own merch.
She steps inside and sits on the bed.
"...I should have joined her last stream."
"But what would I have even said? I don't speak Japanese."
As the waiting screen plays, her thoughts drift, not spiraling, just...flowing.
She thinks about the first time she ever sang out loud without fear.
The first stream where her hands shook so badly she thought viewers could hear it through the mic.
.
.
.
*BZZZZ*
Her phone.
Her actual phone, not Discord, not Snapchat, not the Hololive app.
Someone is calling to her phone number.
Her.
Cecilia: "Gigi?"
Her.
She never thought it would be like this.
Gigi obviously expected to find friends inside of Hololive, but that was just an afterthought about the job, she wanted to be an idol first.
Yet...there she is.
Her princess, her rose...her everything. Her best friend, even if she wants her to be more. The girl who holds half of her heart.
It's funny. Because Kanata and FWMC brought her into Hololive.
And Hololive brought...her.
Gigi: "W-what's wrong?"
"Watchalong got taken down?"
Cecilia: "No no, today's collab is still there."
"It's not about work."
"...I wanted to make you company here."
"I know what she represented for you."
The dam doesn’t burst right away. It cracks.
Gigi opens her mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. Her throat tightens so suddenly it feels unfair, like her body has decided on its own that she’s done holding things together.
She presses the heel of her hand against her lips, breathing through her nose, trying to steady herself.
Gigi: "...why?"
Cecilia: "Hmm?"
Gigi: "W-why do you want to?"
"Isn't it, like, 1 PM over there in Germany?"
"Y-you should be outside...having fun..."
Cecilia exhales softly on the other end of the line. Not tired. Not annoyed.
Fond.
Cecilia: "I didn't feel like going outside today."
"Because...you're sad, you have been sad since...her graduation announcement, practically."
"So I wanted to make you company in your difficult times, like you do on mine."
Gigi’s shoulders sag, like someone has gently removed the strings holding her upright.
She leans forward, elbows on her knees, phone pressed to her ear as if it’s the only solid thing left in the room.
Gigi: "...I don't know what I did to deserve you, hahahah..."
Cecilia: "Just being the sweetest girl in the world."
Gigi: "I wish you were here with me."
"So...I could hug you, a-and hold your hand while I watch this...thing."
That’s when the dam finally gives.
Her shoulders start to shake, breath turning uneven, quiet sobs spilling out one after another. She folds forward, forehead resting against her knees, phone still pressed tight to her ear like an anchor.
Her breathing turns shallow, uneven, like she forgot how to do it properly. Each inhale stutters, each exhale shakes, her body finally rebelling after hours of being held together by willpower alone. Tears drip off the tip of her nose and spot the floor beneath her, unnoticed, unimportant.
There’s a quiet rustle on the other end of the line, like Cecilia shifting where she’s sitting.
Cecilia: "Just...listen to my voice."
"You're already someone else's Kanata."
"And you'll see soon enough, how happy you make others."
"How happy you make me."
"Gigi."
"Take it however you want."
"But we love you. Calli or...or Kiara or Ina or Biboo or Shiori or Nerissa, or whoever you want."
"I."
"I love you."
"And if you ever, EVER feel like you're feeling right now...please take that with you."
"We love you, I love you."
That does it.
She cries, and cries and cries and cries.
Alongside the hiccups, Cecilia swears she can hear "I love you too", but that doesn't matter.
None of it matters. What matters is that Gigi can finally break in peace, as ironic as that sounds.
Gigi: "I DON'T WANT TO FORGET HER..."
"EVERYONE AROUND ME IS BEING STRONG, A-AND BRAVE, AND I WAS TOO!"
"BUT NOW I LOST MY OSHI! SHE WON'T EVEN STREAM AS AN INDIE, OR ANYTHING!"
"....AND I WILL HONOR HER LEGACY, I WILL! I SWEAR!"
"BUT NOW..."
"...I just want to sleep."
Her crying finally begins to slow, the sharp edges rounding off into quiet, shaky breaths.
After a moment, Gigi shifts, pushing herself up off the floor with a small grunt. She wipes her face with her sleeve, sniffling, then reaches for the bed. She sits on the edge first, then carefully lies down, curling onto her side with the phone tucked close to her chest.
"Can you watch it with me?"
"Only if you go to sleep after it's done."
"Hahahahah..."
"Okay..."
"...please, don't forget what I told you."
"We love you."
"...I love you too."
"...sigh..."
.
.
.
"Tomorrow will be a new day."
