Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jason was late. Again!

There was a time when Tim wouldn't have cared about this, he knows that Jason has obligations as Robin and doesn't want to be selfish by stealing all of Robin's attention for himself. But there's a difference between saying that and Jason promise for him that he would not be late again.

But Jason was late and Tim was freezing in front of the cinema.

This was supposed to be their fifth or sixth date, but sometimes Tim felt like Jason wasn't taking things as seriously as he should. Again, he knows the responsibilities, he knows it's not an easy job, but… he could try a little harder. Or just be more honest. A warning, perhaps?

"Hey, hey." The boy knelt beside him, exhausted, as if he'd run two marathons to get there. Tim didn't even bother to look at him, still irritated, his arms crossed and his face pouting in a stupidly cute way.

Jason realized he was being brutally and purposefully ignored. He'd even expected this kind of treatment, considering how impatient Tim could be. He considered making excuses, mumbling, begging, but all he did was lean in to kiss Tim's cheek. Tim was startled, blushed, and looked at him finally.

"Hey." Jason blew on the other boy's face, who closed his eyes and let a blush creep over his cheeks. "I'm late."

“You are!”

“And you're mad at me.”

“I do!”

"But you still like me too much to ignore me permanently, right?" he asks, sounding a little lighter, sillier, and more relaxed. But he was right, Tim liked him too much to ignore him. And it wasn't because of the whole Robin-and-favorite-hero thing; it was because Jason had good qualities, he was thoughtful, and despite missing a few appointments and driving Tim crazy, he was the best.

A best friend. A best companion. A best partner.

It's hard to say what kind of friendship they had, they just knew they liked each other much more than seemed acceptable for two thirteen-year-old boys, because, it seemed wrong when viewed in the big picture, but it seemed right or them who were living in the moment.

So, it kind of didn't matter how people judged their relationship, they were more than happy to hold hands and walk into the theater, with an excited Jason and a Tim trying to keep up with the excitement.

Tim always liked Jason.

Perhaps he liked it better when they started hanging out a few months ago. He was caught by Robin spying and taking pictures, and got a lecture for it—the kind Batman would give if he found out—but soon smiled, scoffed, and invited him to make pretzels. From then on, Robin made a point of taking him home, in case, found him walking the dark and dangerous streets of Gotham alone.

He also visited Tim a few times on his birthday and holidays, and even gifted Tim with some detective novels—which he discovered he loved—and a sweet request to hang out together as Jason and Tim. Officially. As friends, of course.

It was like two wonders in one, and Tim loved it. Jason would meet him at the school gate and walk him home. Sometimes he'd come with Alfred, the butler, but Jason preferred them to walk the path alone, together, touching fingers.

Until one day, Tim was brave enough to hold Jason's hand, nervous, anxious, but determined. And ever since that day, Jason has held his hand with affection and devotion every day. 

Until he finally got the courage to ask Tim out. He looked like an emotional mess, red and stuttering. But in the end, he managed to ask Tim out on a date —or something else, as they prefer to call it, for now. And so, those little outings together happened at least once a month (or twice a week, depending on availability), but for quite some time.

And here they were at another one of those dates, this time, they were watching the new 1999 release, the fourth film — and the first in the trilogy and chronologically — of Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. They had watched the other films on VHS, given Jason's huge fandom in the franchise, and were now preparing for the next film.

“Ready for no falling asleep at the movies?” he teased Tim, who has an irregular sleep history and falls asleep during movies.

“I'm not guaranteeing anything!” Tim smiled like the stupid brat he was, a little brat that Jason experienced and was very afraid of what that word might mean. Jason smiled.

"You slept through our last few movie sessions, Timmy." He pretended to be upset, but he didn't really care that Tim was sleeping. It was actually good for the boy to catch up on his sleep. The important thing was having Tim sleeping on his shoulder, cuddling him.

"Don't judge me for this," he rested his head on Jason's shoulder, still petulant. "You kept petting my head. It's unfair!"

“I couldn't resist.”

“Then resist!” he laughed and Jason snorted, rolling his eyes.

"So, have you forgiven me for being late?" he dared to ask.

"I'm thinking about it, Mr. Todd!" he says, pretending to be serious. "Cuddles and hugs aren't in your favor today."

“You are cruel!”

“It’s not cruel.” He blinked slowly, looking at Jason with an odd but confident smile. “ It's justice!”

“Ugh. Have you been listening to Batman again?”

"No. You asked me not to, and I didn't. But that's what he'd say, right?" he joked. Jason grimaced, not wanting to remember his father and mentor as an arsenal of soundbites about justice. It was stupid. A little corny, too. And dramatic, very dramatic.

“Yeah, that's what he would say. That's terrible!”

“You're not much better, boy wonder!”

With that provocation, they walked into the theater. Jason didn't show it, but he was worried about their relationship, especially after the last few months when he'd been so busy that he'd ended up missing some of his many appointments with Tim.

This was a problem because he knew his absence made Tim sad. He was his first friend— first crush —and he didn't want to disappoint him just because he had a duty to Gotham and Batman. But it wasn't fair for him to abandon Tim like that, Tim, who had always been a lonely boy living in a huge manor alone counting only on the coldness of the place and no presence of their parents.

He was, in some ways, the salvation of Tim. Being Robin is being a symbol, a salvation. And he was there to help, not exactly to fill the void, but to be part of something substantial and healthy that he was creating with Tim.

Jason no longer wants to be the reason Tim is upset or angry with him. He wants to be better, to do better. To be there, present! But he doesn't quite know what to do, he doesn't know how to solve the problem.

Patrol today was with Nightwing. Dick was good with relationships—at least he maintains a stable one to this day—and tried to ask him for advice on what he should do about it, but, well, Dick was pretty useless at giving love advice. He doesn't even know what he did to win Koriand'r's heart, so how would he know how to help Jason with his little problem with a civilian boy?

It was frustrating, but Alfred managed to be a little more amenable to the advice, telling him to be honest, not make promises he can't keep, and not make lame excuses. The point is, Jason never He made no excuses. He knew he was wrong and tried to make up for it, but… was he doing the right thing?

The film began with the classic introduction of the previous films, with the theme song composed by John Williams. The lyrics, summarizing the film, appeared on the screen, and Jason could feel his hair stand on end with a strange sense of nostalgia. He was a huge fan of the franchise and was happy to know that Tim was there with him, that he'd been with him on this little journey thus far.

Yet another reason why he shouldn't mess it up. Tim was great. Even falling asleep during movies—something that never really bothered Jason—was special to him, having the boy by his side and listening to his little ramblings about details no one else knew. Everything was rewarding. Jason definitely loved him.

And he was scared.

Because he never had loved someone like that.

He'd had a girlfriend two years ago, Rena. He liked her and knew it, but he was too young and foolish to actually say he loved her—or that he was in love. The relationship didn't last long, just a few months of dating, and then she seemed to have grown tired of him. Or he of her. It wasn't clear.

But with Tim, it was different. He wanted to be with Tim forever. Every day he thought about him and what they would do together—whether they would hold hands, watch movies together, or go out to dinner together. He thought about these things meticulously, leaving no room for error.

But the only thing Jason does is make mistakes.

Frustrating.

This made him lose focus on the film. A completely new story with the backstory of the villain, who was also the protagonist's father—who, in turn, appears in the first film in release order, but the fourth in the chronology and the first in the first trilogy, anyway—he wished he were paying more attention, but Tim's loving hand clasped in his and his thoughts wandering about him... didn't help him concentrate.

He muttered and sighed in frustration. Tim was observant and analytical; he eyed him warily and poked his arm with the tip of his index finger. Jason looked at him and fell in love all over again. Tim was so handsome. Mostly concerned for him.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked in a whisper, so close to Jason that he held his breath.

"I'm fine, Timmy." He didn't like lying, didn't like making excuses, or being late for appointments. Tim's gaze was sharp.

“If you don't want to tell me, it's okay.” but everything was not okay.

“It’s not that, Tim, it’s not,” he sighed again. “I don’t think this is a good time, but, I want to, uh, talk.”

“In the middle of the movie?”

“To hell with the movie!” he said, a little exasperated. “It’s about us and that's more important than any silly movie.”

Tim shifted uncomfortably in his seat, squeezing his hand gently, avoiding Jason's gaze. This wasn't the time. They were at the movies, and Jason wanted to talk about their relationship? Okay, it was important to Tim too, but he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it.

But he wants to talk about it, and agree that it's more important than a silly movie. But it was Jason's favorite movie that he saved up for—yes, saved up. He refused Bruce Wayne's money so he could buy tickets for both of them. Jason was trying to make that date special, doing something every day special so Tim can remember.

And he would remember it fondly.

Because Tim loved Jason. Liked it. Loved it. The name didn't matter, but the intensity yes.  

“We can talk after the movie” he still wanted the movie to mean something.

"No!" Jason, at the height of his stubbornness, denied. "No, Tim, no. We can watch it another day, now I want to talk!"

Without waiting, Jason pulled him by the hand out of the movie theater. They walked through the crowd for various reasons until they were outside, but they didn't stop walking. It was dark, and warm yellow and orange lights shone throughout the city, dim but beautiful from above. Jason led him to a fire escape on the side of a building and helped him climb the stairs to the top.

When he met Jason, they were also on top of a building. Tim carried a camera and had a sharp tongue. I think that was what attracted Jason in the first place. He wasn't afraid to confront Robin just because he was, uh, well, about Robin.

Tim was different.

Tim had something most people didn't, and he wasn't afraid to show it either.

So Jason finds himself being very lucky.

And Tim feels like he's in heaven in every way.

"I don't want you to be mad at me, Timmy," he said after a moment of silence. "And it hurts me to know that I hurt you every time I'm late or don't show up at all. I don't want to make excuses or lie to you!"

“Then don't lie!” Tim says as if it sounds easy.

“I don't do that…”

“Jay…” he took a deep breath before approaching “I’m not upset because you're late because you have things to do as Robin. My God, what kind of person would I be if that were the reason?” he gave Jason a small, affectionate smile “I'm upset for you have promised and did not comply!”

Oh! 

“I don't want you to change for me, to stop being who you are or your obligations for me” Tim continued saying.

“I would do that, if you asked.”

"That's exactly why I don't want to!" he says seriously now; for a young boy, he understands certain matters quite well. Perhaps he's drawing a bit from his parents' relationship, which was always very turbulent. They loved each other and loved Tim, but they were never entirely satisfied with themselves and tried to compensate in ways that weren't so healthy. Tim saw that. Tim doesn't want that for him and Jason, whatever their relationship means. "I want to be with you, even if you're late or talk too much about something you like. To hold my hand. To tell me I'm handsome. To care about me…! I want you for who you are, Jay, not for who you're trying to become to make me happy. You won't make me happy!"

The truth is, Jason Todd would change the world if it made Tim Drake smile. It's true that he tries to compensate by changing himself a little, you know, because, damn, he was just a boy experiencing the symptoms of falling in love for the first time. And he discovered that he was terribly romantic, perhaps the worst kind.

But what Tim was saying was true, something he understands perfectly.

"Tim," he calls breathlessly, barely able to process his words. Jason feels an overwhelming urge to cry.

"Just be honest with me, Jay!" The boy holds Jason's hands, and Jason stands frozen, watching that sparkle in his eyes, that flame, that passion Tim was never afraid to show him. Hesitantly, he brought his fingers to Tim's rosy cheek, caressed it, and smiled.

“I love you.” he admitted with a sigh “ Damn, I love you so much. Tim, I want us to be together when we grow up. Live in the same house and share a lifetime. Please, Timmy…!” Jason rests his forehead against Tim's, who gives him a loving smile.

“When we get older, we can live that life.”

Jason felt his heart warm. He leaned forward, lightly brushing his lips against Tim's, and his whole body felt like it was going to spontaneously combust. It was wonderful. He loved the feeling of kissing Tim, so different from any other kiss he'd ever had. It was pure. Sincerely, Simple. It was what seemed to get Jason's wheels turning.

The world could spin, but at that moment it stood still, favoring the hearts of two young lovers.

“I love you, Jay.”

And Jason melted.

He promised himself that instead of trying to conform to Tim Drake's standards, he would try to be better in another way. They didn't go back to the theater, which means they could watch the movie any other day. Or watch it at home.

Anywhere, as long as they are together.