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One step is all it takes.
All he has to do is move.
Move, move, move, move, move!
Why can’t he move?
Just one step, one step to freedom.
He’s been trapped for God knows how long.
And yet, he can’t do it.
He can’t take the step.
Why? Why can’t he do it?
It’s all he’s ever dreamed of. Every night. For who knows how long.
And now that he has the chance to make his dream a reality, he can’t take the stupid step.
“Stuck?” A familiar deep voice calls from behind him, Slade.
Slade, his captor. The person he hates the most, the person who’s taken everything from him. The person who blackmailed him into becoming his apprentice or his friends would die a slow and painful death.
Sure, Tony Zucco took his parents and circus life but Slade took everything after. His second life.
Batman and Alfred. His friends, his team, the Titans. Barbra, his best friend outside of vigilante life. Even the Justice League who were like uncles and aunts to him. Everyone from the Hero community. All just gone.
He just wants to take that stupid step forward and go back to everyone he loves.
So, why can’t he move?
“I’m leaving,” he announces but he doesn’t hear the conviction in his voice. It almost sounds like a plea, not a cold hard fact.
It’s what he wants, to leave. He’s sure of it.
And if he doesn’t want to leave, then what does he want?
What has he ever wanted? He was happy with the circus. Sure, Batman was cold but he was always right. The Titans were always there when he needed them but… he didn’t trust them enough
to let them know his true name, not his hero persona.
Slade- Slade figured him out. Slade knows his weaknesses and strengths. Slade knows nearly everything about him.
Slade knew his identity before he took him in as his apprentice, because that’s how much he cared.
And he himself made a whole villain persona just to get close to the man. He betrayed and fought against his friends just to quench his obsession.
What would he do without Slade?
He would go back to his team and fight crime again, that’s what. It’s what he did before and it’s what he’ll do after.
After he takes the step.
One step and everything changes.
Change is good, it’s scary but it’s good.
But sometimes change is bad. It’s cruel and sad and leaves more pain than it should have.
“You’re leaving?” Slade asks with a tone of encouragement, like he actually wants him to leave.
He doesn’t look back, he knows what he would see. Slade leaning against the wall, arms crossed, single eye trained on him. He can imagine the ever present smirk on the man’s face because obviously this is amusing to him. Stupid kid can’t take the step towards to freedom, that’s probably what he’s thinking.
But if Slade’s here then he can’t escape, can he? Slade’s faster and stronger than he is, if it comes to a fight, there’s no way he can win.
“I am,” he breaths out as he looks up and into the woods surrounding him.
All he’s seen for the past… he doesn’t know how long, is cream or white coloured walls. But now all he sees is the shadows of life. Moonlight bouncing off of tall trees, their shadows painting the ground black with patterns.
The wind ruffles his hair, it’s longer now. It falls into his eyes before being blown up. Trees and leaves sway, allowing themselves to dance in the night. He inhales the fresh air, drinking it in like its water in a dry desert.
Crickets and other insects chip and buzz around him. Everything seems so peaceful, he doesn’t want to go out there and disturb it.
“I-” he starts, unsure of what he’s trying to confess. But he’s done trying to convince himself to leave.
There’s nothing out there for him anymore.
Batman, his team and the Justice League never came for him. Slade told him they never even searched for him but he didn’t believe it until now.
He could scream and shout while hoping Superman hears him but would he even be trying to? Maybe Superman is happy he’s gone? Maybe they all are.
He was selfish to believe that everyone would abandon their duties just to try and find him.
He knows how strong and smart Slade is, there’s no way anyone could beat him. Even when he is nicked by a knife the wound heals almost instantly.
There is no escape.
All he can do is turn around and beg for forgiveness. Ask that he be punished for his mistakes. He never should have tried.
Things were going well. Slade had finally eased up on him and they had a bit of banter going but he was sure that was just him trying to make Slade think he wasn’t planning to escape.
He closes his eyes as he tips his head back and lets the wind ruffle his hair. He lets the chirping continue. He lets the grass stay untouched. He lets everything continue on without him.
He picks his foot up and takes a step.
In the wrong right direction. Backwards. Towards Slade. Towards his Master.
“That’s my boy,” his Master praises as his hand squeezes Renegade’s shoulder. He leans into the touch, basking in his Master’s approval.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers as he turns around and buries his head in his Master’s shoulder.
He lets himself cry. Mourning the life he had. Mourning the life he could have had.
This is a new beginning, a new life. One he never thought he would have.
“It’s okay, Renegade.” His Master shushes as he pets Renegades hair and draws him into a hug.
“All you need is me, I’m here, you’re a good apprentice, I want you, you want me.” His Master assures and a minuscule part of him screams ‘no, I don’t want this,’ but he squashes it down into nothing.
All he needs is his Master, his Master is here, he’s a good apprentice, his Master wants him, he wants his Master.
He repeats it like a mantra until he fully believes it. It’s fact.
“Thank you,” he smiles as he lets himself be taken back inside.
He knows he will never leave as Robin or Dick Grayson and he’s come to terms with that.
He’s Renegade now. Deathstroke’s apprentice. That is all he ever needs to be.