Chapter Text
November 3rd, 202X
Tom
Good evening.
I have reviewed your contribution to our History of Magic essay. Your attempt has, frankly, left me astounded, but I assure you it is not for the reasons you might hope. I had expected at least a rudimentary grasp of the subject, but instead I am met with a piece that seems to have been written with willful disregard for both logic and scholarship.
To begin, the chronology is an utter mess. You reference the International Statute of Secrecy of 1692 before the Goblin Rebellion of 1612, which suggests you either have no concept of time or decided it was an unnecessary constraint. Did you imagine history simply folded in on itself to spare you the trouble of learning it? And as if that were not enough, I counted no fewer than three attempts at spelling Thaddeus Thurkell’s name in a single paragraph, not one of them correct.
Your citations are equally abysmal. I noticed at least four instances where passages from Hogwarts: A History have been lifted word for word, and worse, in places where the text is entirely irrelevant to the point at hand. I need not tell you that plagiarism is the refuge of the unimaginative, and in this case, the incompetent. You may find such a tactic clever, but it is painfully obvious to anyone with the most basic familiarity with the subject matter. If you believe I will permit my own grade to be dragged down by such juvenile laziness, you are sorely mistaken.
Finally, if I may speak plainly, your handwriting does you no favors. One could almost forgive the shoddy content, but the fact that I must laboriously decipher each word as though reading the ramblings of a drunken troll is beyond irritating. At one point I almost believed you were under the impression that the rebellion occurred in 1072 rather than 1612, but then, mercifully, I decided to grant you the benefit of the doubt. That you have managed to progress this far in your schooling is, frankly, little short of miraculous.
I cannot, and will not, put my name beside work of such quality. It reflects poorly not only on you, but on me by association. In short: this draft is not salvageable. You have until tomorrow at noon to rewrite it properly.
07*** *** 023
lmaooo ive never seen someone being called stupid in so many words
wait this is not about me right?? i dnt think i have any essay due??
right???
Tom
Goyle, I trust you realise this is neither an appropriate moment nor an appropriate audience for your poor attempt at making a joke.
07*** *** 023
wait is this about goyle?? lmao
malfoys gang is getting worse every year huh
no but is this actually for real? is this a prank or did goyle really fuck up that bad??
Tom
One moment.
Tom
Good evening.
Would you happen to have Goyle’s phone number? I require it for our History of Magic essay.
Parkinson
Hey Tom
Yeah, it's 07*** *** 623
Tom
Understood. Thank you.
07*** *** 023
still there?
come onnn dot leave me hanging
helloo
hello?
Tom
It appears there has been an error. You are not the intended recipient of my previous message. I would suggest you disregard it entirely.
07*** *** 023
wait no no that was like so funny dont leave omg
i am really invested rn
seriously tho… i need to know what happens next
also, can you give me tips on writing like that??
i wanna roast people with elegance someday
im not above begging total strangers
also you said he has until noon tomorrow… wow you dont mess arond
i will need updates on this
pretty please?
Tom
Enough.
I am not here for your amusement, nor am I your source of entertainment.
I suggest you redirect your attention to your own studies and cease messaging me immediately.
07*** *** 023
look im like really invested now okay
should we start a petition to get goyle expelled for this crime against history of magic?
suddenly im really self conscious about my own essays
also how did you end up sending all this to me??
not that im complaining, just wondering
so many questions
hello are u still here???
Tom
Good evening.
I have reviewed your contribution to our History of Magic essay. Your attempt has, frankly, left me astounded, but I assure you it is not for the reasons you might hope. I had expected at least a rudimentary grasp of the subject, but instead I am met with a piece that seems to have been written with willful disregard for both logic and scholarship.
To begin, the chronology is an utter mess.
--- --- --- ---
I cannot, and will not, put my name beside work of such quality. It reflects poorly not only on you, but on me by association. In short: this draft is not salvageable. You have until tomorrow at noon to rewrite it properly.
07*** *** 623
wait what
what do you mean tomorrow at noon??