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no1 - comfort
there aren’t any words, kuramochi thinks, to describe the way miyuki’s hardships sometimes seem beyond even the most sincere comfort.
no2 - kiss
as in all things, kuramochi defies expectations by taking miyuki apart piece by piece, gentle and sure.
no3 - soft
at first, miyuki saw kuramochi as a collection of rough surfaces and sharp lines; he knows better now, meeting kuramochi’s soft gaze and feeling the breath leave his lungs in a whoosh.
no4 - pain
at the hospital, they take miyuki’s shirt, and the spread of purple-yellow-blue on his torso makes kuramochi see red.
no5 - potatoes
miyuki’s arm brushing across kuramochi’s shoulder would be a lot more exciting if it wasn’t a stealth move to steal some of his fries.
no6 - rain
he knows they must look ridiculous, hair matted to their foreheads and clothing soaked through, but miyuki takes kuramochi’s hand and there’s no talk of going inside.
no7 - chocolate
“no box of chocolates, mochi-chan?”
“you don’t even like sweet things, moron.”
no8 - happiness
miyuki takes kuramochi’s hand and puts it over his chest and says, “i feel it here, when i think about you.”
no9 - telephone
“there’s a rumor going around about us,” miyuki says, and even though he smiles kuramochi can’t help but wonder if miyuki is telling a joke or asking a question.
no10 - ears
miyuki concludes very quickly that kuramochi with his hair down is a distracting kuramochi; he wonders how long it is before kuramochi realizes miyuki hasn’t been listening to a word his vice captain says.
no11 - name
“kazuya,” kuramochi says, and miyuki shivers, so he says it again, a veritable litany: “kazuya, kazuya, kazuya—”
no12 - sensual
“more,” miyuki breathes, tangling their legs and pushing up—seeking touch, seeking friction, seeking everything.
no13 - death
at the cemetery, he squeezes miyuki’s hand and says: “she would be proud, you know."
no14 - sex
the first time is rushed and frantic: a manifestation of a desire to be closer, to latch on to something solid and hold tight.
no15 - touch
kuramochi’s hand at the small of his back manages to become both rudder and anchor—steering him right while being his one grounding point.
no16 - weakness
he knows that he needs to focus, needs to listen to coach, but miyuki’s ass is clearly visible and kuramochi is nothing if not a man—and man is weak.
no17 - tears
“were you crying?” kuramochi asks once they’re sated and done, and miyuki hitting him with a pillow is all the answer he needs.
no18 - speed
kuramochi’s thrusts come fast and sharp and miyuki’s thighs outright shake as he brushes up against climax.
no19 - wind
sometimes trying to get a straight answer out of miyuki feels like punching the wind—doesn’t mean it stops him from trying.
no20 - freedom
“someone is going to see, you idiot—”
“live a little, kuramochi.”
“and when did making out behind the equipment shed become the epitome of living?”
no21 - life
class, baseball, the dorms—for three years, seido has been all they know, and they’d been partners all the way through.
no22 - jealousy
miyuki had never been quite sure what jealousy looked like before, but as he looks kuramochi up and down—hands stuffed in his pockets, brow drawn tight, mouth set in a sharp line with eyes narrowed and dark, still focused on narumiya mei’s retreating back—he think he might be learning.
no23 - hands
the bare-handed catches need to stop, he wants to say, wrapping kuramochi’s hand, but he’s never much liked being a hypocrite.
no24 - taste
miyuki scoops him up easily, somehow never removing his mouth from kuramochi’s neck, and it’s in the moment kuramochi fully believes that miyuki might just devour him whole.
no25 - devotion
“you didn’t have to come with me to the hospital,” miyuki says. “you could have stayed to celebrate once i was in the cab.”
“just like you could have told the coach about your injuries and let someone else play catcher?” kuramochi responds.
no26 - forever
they are third years on the precipice of the rest of their lives, but all kuramochi wants is to stay in this bed, where all he has to think about is how stupidly endearing it is that miyuki is drooling on his shoulder.
no27 - blood
“tilt your head back—”
“don’t baby me, miyuki, the kid barely knew how to hit—”
“tilt your head back or you’ll have more to worry about than a bloody nose.”
no28 - sickness
“i didn’t make this chicken soup for it to go to waste—get back in bed, ‘mochi.”
no29 - melody
having grown up accustomed to silence, kuramochi’s humming took some getting used to—but now he can barely get by without it.
no30 - star
in april, baseball monthly called miyuki “seido’s true star player”—three weeks later and kuramochi still delights in using the nickname.
no31 - home
miyuki steps into the batter’s box, meeting kuramochi’s eyes with a smile full of intent.
all the way from second base, kuramochi grins back. bring me home, captain.
no32 - confusion
“you’re cute when you’re confused,” miyuki says.
“only then?” kuramochi asks, biting his lip as he tries to work out his math homework.
miyuki pokes the furrow of kuramochi’s brow. “especially then.”
no33 - fear
it’s a daily question: how much longer he has before kuramochi wises up and moves onto something (someone) better.
no34 - lightning/thunder
there’s nothing quite as satisfying as the crack of the ball hitting kuramochi’s glove to get the runner out, but when it streaks from home base—well, that may may it more special.
no35 - bonds
“how many of us do you think will stay in touch?” nori asks, and kuramochi does everything in his willpower not to look across the cafeteria to where he hears miyuki ribbing sawamura.
no36 - market
it’d been an excuse to get out of the dorms, an excuse to be alone—an excuse to discreetly hold hands without worrying about sawamura breathing down their necks.
no37 - technology
he’s not sure when necking with miyuki became more appealing than video games, but far be it from him to question such fortunate happenstance like a willing and wanting boyfriend in his lap.
no38 - gift
“you didn’t have to get me anything,” kuramochi says, holding the new batting gloves loosely in his hands.
miyuki smiles softly. “no, i really did."
no39 - smile
kuramochi traces miyuki’s mouth with his thumb, enjoying the sight of a real smile amidst a host of smug grins.
no40 - innocence
“i think we may have just shattered sawamura,” he says, sitting up as hoarse yelling starts up outside.
“seeing that he’s likely not coming back anytime soon…” miyuki says, tugging kuramochi so he straddles him.
“you are the worst,” kuramochi says, despite the smirk working its way across his face, despite the very excellent idea miyuki has on his mind.
no41 - completion
kuramochi considers it a point of pride whenever he gets miyuki over the edge first—even more so when he’s able to do it a second time.
no42 - clouds
kuramochi turns up the hot water and hopes the steam is enough to obscure his view of miyuki—or at least enough to obscure the view of his own hard-on.
no43 - sky
“indoor stadiums are a crime against baseball,” kuramochi mutters, looking up at the metal ceiling with a wrinkled nose and giving miyuki the perfect opportunity to swipe some of his fries.
no44 - heaven
he wonders, sometimes, what his mother would think of kuramochi.
no45 - hell
“has anyone ever told you you’re the spawn of the devil?”
“you’ve only told me six times today, ‘mochi.”
no46 - sun
miyuki runs his thumb along the tan line at kuramochi’s wrist, an absent-minded habit he picked up when they started holding hands.
no47 - moon
they’d left the window open, so moonlight trickles in to set off the lines of miyuki’s face in such a way kuramochi almost has to look away.
no48 - waves
loving miyuki had come in waves—it just so happened that the last one knocked him clean off his feet.
no49 - hair
“been thinking ‘bout shaving it,” miyuki says.
kuramochi takes a handful of miyuki’s hair and pulls back so he can whisper: “don’t you dare.”
no50 - supernova
magnificent beauty juxtaposed with magnificent impermanence—miyuki isn’t sure where they land on the spectrum, but he’s willing to wait it out as long as he can, to see what their supernova looks like.