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The first time Noah Diaz laid his eyes upon the Zolabobe leader, he couldn't believe what was going on. They couldn't have been any older than twelve Earth years, escorted by several adults who all seemed to be their subordinates.
"Welcome to Earth, Lord Ajda," Prime was saying, as he bowed politely to the young child.
"Thank you, Prime." the other alien said. Their voice sounded like bells ringing. "My entourage and I will only be staying on this planet for about three lihanas, after which we will return to XYT. I believe it will be enough time for us to complete our project."
"What's a lihana?" Noah whispered to his sparkmate, who was standing right next to him.
Mirage bent down to whisper right back in Noah's ear, "It's two weeks in Earth time."
Noah listened intently as the two leaders kept talking, and apparently, this "Lord Ajda" had come to Earth to complete a project their family had been working on alongside the Autobots, before the Decepticons fucked everything up and the war came to Earth.
Ajda and their entourage were vaguely crocodilian in shape, complete with scales, tails and large snapping teeth. If the gathered humans didn't know any better, they would have opened fire at first glance, or at the very least, whipped out their guns.
"...and these are our new allies, the G.I.Joes. They have some brilliant technicians among their ranks, who might be interested in this project of ours." Prime said, as he finished talking. There was an intrigued twinkle in Ajda's eyes by the time he was done.
"Very well, Optimus Prime...may I speak to them for a while?" Ajda asked, their speech uncomfortably stilted—was it an effect of the Zolabobian universal translator or the discomfort of a kid who had all the whimsy beaten out of them and forced to age ten years a day before their life could even truly begin, Noah had no idea.
Before Prime could get another word in, Mirage jumped in forward, and exclaimed "Of course you can...er...Your Highness? In fact, I can lead you to the bigwigs right now! That is, assuming they don't have a kill-on-sight mandate for all the aliens that don't have cute, cuddly eyes or the Autobot insignia, and you have neither, so..."
"Mirage, please!" Prime exclaimed as he face-palmed, and the other Autobots on site loudly groaned.
"Noah, you gotta do something, your...um...friend is acting out of turn again." said Arcee.
Noah gave her a wobbly smile, and placed a hand on his sparkmate's left leg. "Um, 'Raj?" he asked, "I think you're crowding our guest."
"Oops, sorry." said Mirage, and backed off.
"Friend?" Ajda said, their blue-green head tilted in confusion.
"Um, yeah," Noah muttered, "we're best friends. Bros, in fact."
"Yeah, right," Mirage grumbled, "like all the times you've been inside me and the intense pathos of it all have left us both out-of-breath..."
Thankfully, Ajda cut in before things got uncomfortable. "So you two have a very strong friendship, it seems." they said.
"Yeah, well, that's...pretty much...it." said Noah, then a thought came to mind. Today, he would be meeting Kris. "Oops, sorry, gotta go, family business, bye!" Then he jumped into Mirage, who had already turned into a car, and then they zoomed off.
If they felt a pair of purple reptilian eyes stare at their retreating back, no, they didn't.
"So you just...ran away?!" Kris asked incredulously. "You know Padre and all his friends are cool with it, so why didn't you just tell the new guests as well?" His little brother had been a lot more energetic, ever since he had gotten proper treatment.
Noah sighed. "Listen, hermanito, it's not as easy as it sounds. You know how people are. And this is the army we're talking about, we're done for if it ever comes out. Also, stop calling Optimus Prime Padre, I know you want him and Ma to get together but—"
"GASP! How can you say that about our Ma, especially when you're more than married to an alien robot yourself?!" Kris exclaimed, from the crate he was sitting on.
Noah immediately shushed him, his eyes scanning the area around them to check if anyone heard him. "Callate," he growled, under his breath.
Unfortunately, someone did hear.
"If this is about human narrow-mindedness, then tell me all about it, I am willing to hear." said Ajda, their purple eyes gleaming suggestively. The light, iridescent robes they wore shone under the ceiling lights.
Startled, Noah turned to fully face them. "Um...sir...ma'am...I don't know who or what you are, but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be doing business with the bigwigs?"
"Neither, and they should not know I am here." they said sternly. "I have done plenty of research about your race prior to arriving here, and it seems like humanity still has a long way left to go if it truly wishes to make peace with what lurks beyond. My condolences, Human..."
"Diaz." said Noah, "Noah Diaz, and this is my little brother Kris."
"Hi there," Kris waved at them, still perched on the crates.
"Greetings, Human Noah, Human Kris." said Ajda, giving a light curtsey. "Allow me to properly introduce myself—my name is Nyos'tiriqa Ajda, seventh of their name, of the House Of Karavynth. You may both call me Ajda. Now tell me, Human Noah, what is it that plagues you so? Is there something preventing you from disclosing what is between you and Autobot Mirage?"
"OK, first off, how did you know? Second, why are you poking your nose in other people's business?" Noah asked, trying hard to stave off his annoyance, with the double-whammy of it being a kid and a high-ranking noble from an alien planet he was talking to.
"Ay, Dios," Kris grumbled from his perch, "this is the Marmalade Affair all over again..."
"Don't remind me." Noah said, sending his brother a death-glare. He would much rather not be reminded of Raoul and Tracks right now. "Fine," he moaned, then asked again, "what's the matter with you?"
"Zolabobes are psychics." Ajda explained. "I felt an inkling of what was happening, when we spoke outside. That, and Autobot Arcee's rather unusual tone gave some of it away."
Noah let out a little sigh, "OK, you're right about humans being narrow-minded, but we're trying to overcome it, ay? There's this law in the military called Don't Ask Don't Tell, where, well...if you don't say a word about being attracted to your own gender, then no one questions you about it. But if someone finds out, then you're dead meat. Could even be kicked out of the force. That's why Mirage and I have been trying so hard to hide it, and the Autobots get it."
"But is that reason enough to hide? Not when you and Autobot Mirage are connected by your very souls? Among all the pairs of "close friends" I have met, there was no such instance."
"Well, that's..." Noah mumbled. "It's a...a...a bit complicated. But how..."
"Yes, I am just as confused as you are." said Ajda. "You are organic like me, therefore, you lack a spark. How is this possible, I have no idea."
Before Noah could get another word in, Kris butted in. "I think Mirage loaning you his parts for your suit had a side effect on you, bro. Like, whenever you wear that armor, something changes in you, to the point it becomes undeniable—"
"Precisely." Ajda cut in, smirking like they just got a huge weight off their shoulders. "The way your brother puts it, he might be correct, Human Noah. Pray tell, does Autobot Mirage truly loan you his parts?"
Noah buried his face in his hands. "Yeah, pretty much, ever since he gave up his life to save mine two years ago in Peru. I've been wearing parts of him on missions ever since. Just don't tell anyone about it, ay?"
"Yeah, right," Kris muttered, in a "whatever" tone.
Then Ajda, eyes shining, walked closer yet to where Kris was, and exclaimed "Say, Human Kris, you mentioned a "Marmalade Affair" before, can you elaborate on what it is?"
"Well, I'd love to!" Kris exclaimed. "It happened a year ago, in the year of our lord 1995. There's this guy named Raoul, who fell in love with an Autobot named Tracks, and..."
Noah sighed deeply still, as the two kids struck up a conversation, big, doofy grins plastered on their faces. Dios, he needed to have himself checked up soon.
"Well, I'll be damned," Ratchet grumbled, "Noah, as much as I hate to admit it, it seems like you and Mirage are now connected like any other pair of sparkmates would be back on Cybertron."
"I have doubted it for a while, but Primus has indeed blessed your union." Optimus Prime smiled.
"Orion!" Ratchet snapped. "What have I told you about saying any of that religious nonsense in my—oh, what's the point? You never listen anyway." he said.
"Well, he never listened before, and sure he refuses to listen now." Jazz mused from next to Prime, gesturing at that big red chassis, which held the Matrix Of Leadership inside.
"By the way, Noah Diaz, you have a visitor. Two of them, in fact." said Prime, as the medbay doors whooshed open to admit Mirage and Kris.
"So, have you decided to tell them yet?" Kris asked, as he was picked up by Prime and placed next to Noah.
"What? Never!" Noah exclaimed. "Kris, please, I told you many times, you might not care, but the people out there, they will."
"So what?" Kris asked. "If they don't approve, it only proves that they're narrow-minded...er...big, stupid doo-doo heads. You've got me, and Ma, and Padre, and Mirage, and...what I'm saying is, that you shouldn't be hiding."
"Yeah!" Mirage joined in, "No matter what happens, you'll always be my sparkmate. The Autobots will always consider you family."
"Hmm..." Noah hummed, "Who told you that? Our guest?"
"Sí." Kris grinned. "Ajda and I had a good laugh over it all. These slagheaps—" All the Autobots in the room gasped. "—well, if they're the ones who made you feel that way, then it's they who need to change. C'mon, bro, let your freak flag fly."
Oh, so his little brother was now on a first-name basis with the alien lord. Great. Just great. But then again, testing the waters wouldn't be that bad. Bumblebee had radioed to him about his new best friend Snake Eyes and how he was certain Snake had something going on with Cobra operative Storm Shadow, which the Joes either didn't know about or didn't care about. And they were both men, he'd said, then...
"General Abernathy, I came here to discuss something with you."
"What is it, Agent Burke?" asked Clayton "Hawk" Abernathy, leader of G.I.Joe, eyes focused on the man before him.
"As you can see, Agent Diaz, or Sonic as he's been codenamed, has been putting a lot of effort in keeping discreet his, well, romantic relations with partner Knuckles, but it's been falling short, as many of our men can attest to. Scarlett, Ripcord, Roadblock, Lady Jaye...when off duty, they keep talking about how Sonic and Knuckles are, and I quote, "so married", and I, too, saw it clearly, how they skirt around certain things. And if Snake Eyes saw it too, well..." said Apollo "Cauliflower" Burke, trailing off at the last bit.
"So, what is it that you wish to say?" Abernathy asked.
"I came here to ask, since we are a small task force of picked men for extra-special tasks, we never bothered with rules that much in the first place, so why apply them to Sonic and Knuckles?" Burke asked back. "Besides, stranger things have happened, take for example our new mechanical allies from outer space, which Knuckles is one of, and their reptile friends, who just arrived yesterday. So if we break one more rule, then..."
"Duly noted, Agent Burke. Dismissed." Abernathy said, nodding. Burke nodded back, then left through the door he came in.
When he was summoned to General Hawk's office in the middle of the afternoon, Noah was honestly surprised. A call from the big boss was the last thing he expected today. Especially since the man had sent for both him and Mirage. He swallowed thickly, faced directly with the steely gaze he'd seen so many times before, unsure of what to say. Was he and Mirage getting punished? He hoped not.
"Sonic, Knuckles..." said the general, in that usual authoritative tone, his face still so impassive. Noah glanced over to Mirage, who was giving an awkward smile. "I have heard from several reliable sources that you two might be more than friends. A lot more. So I have called you here to ask:are the rumors true? About the two of you being secretly married."
"Well, sir, the thing is—" Noah began.
"Yes, um, sir." Mirage cut in. "There's a more accurate term to describe our relationship. On Cybertron, they call this type of bond Conjunx Endurae, which means—"
Hawk raised a hand, cutting him off. "Thank you, Knuckles, that will be all. Sonic, I have only one question for you:why didn't you tell anyone sooner?"
Noah was a bit taken aback, but he soon swallowed again and replied, "Because, well, I...I was afraid. Sir."
"Afraid? Of what?" Hawk asked again.
"Of what everyone would do to me if I ever broke Don't Ask Don't Tell." Noah said.
"So that was your problem?" Hawk exclaimed, now his turn to be taken aback. "You see, Sonic, you don't get to decide what's "normal" and what's not. It's our job, and therefore yours, to see and deal with many things most people would never deem normal."
Now Mirage was giggling like a maniac, his mouth covered by his servos. Noah fought the urge to face-palm. "OK, so, what you're saying is..."
"Yes." the general nodded. "Hiding never ends well. Look at Flint and Jaye, or Scarlett and Duke for that matter—two military men in a relationship is still something most people find hard to stomach, even if it's a man and a woman. And Knuckles, you aren't technically a man, am I right?"
"Yeah." Mirage muttered, scratching the back of his helm now. "I'm a mech."
"That's it, there's your answer." Hawk said. "So stop trying to hide, from this point forward. Am I clear?"
Noah nodded. "Crystal, sir."
"Alright, then. And if you ever wish to be married formally, then never hesitate to report to Command. Dismissed."
And so, Noah walked out of the general's office, Mirage trailing behind him. It felt like a chip had been taken off his shoulder, as he breathed a big sigh of relief. "Whoa..." he muttered, "that...turned out better than expected. Maybe Kris was right."
"Damn sure he was." Mirage said, tone light. "Now how do we break this news to Prime and the others?"
"They'll see it, in due time." Noah said, giving his love a shy smile. Then, the next thing he knew, Mirage hoisted him off his feet, allowing him to pull the warm helm into a passionate kiss, not caring at all if anyone saw them. Stars exploded behind his eyelids, and he felt more connected to Mirage than before, even more so than the wild chases through open roads. It was beautiful and bright.
If this was what wearing the M1R4G3 armor brought him, well, then it was something he could get behind.