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Summary
An unexpected walk in the rain leads Murderbot to a realization about Gurathin. Now, it must contend with its own past if it wants to understand and be understood.
Alternatively, they get off (emotionally) on the intense ordeal of self-recognition through the other by sharing a couple of their memories.
Series
- Part 1 of To a Certain Degree
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Bookmark Notes:
"There were things I only believed once I’d said them to him."
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Bookmark Notes:
We sometimes hardwired for the pleasure alone of sharing sensations and textures. Of sharing each other. I knew the number of things we hadn’t experienced together was larger than the number of things we had, but wasn’t that even better? I wanted nothing more than what we already did, yet I was open to anything.
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Bookmark Notes:
This way, I felt no pressure to do anything, and Gurathin felt safer in his choices, only initiating anything when it was painfully obvious I wanted it.
“I was worried there were things you wanted, that maybe you weren’t asking for.”
Oh. That was surprisingly sincere. It was like a virus, honesty was contagious.
“I worry about that too.”We either thought each other stupid, or were deeply invested in both understanding and being understood. We were probably morons.
“If I chose to, you’d like it, and if I didn’t, you wouldn’t mind and respect my choice?”
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Bookmark Notes:
Feelings. Lots of them
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Bookmark Notes:
I felt the tension drain out of me as his expression softened.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that.” He crossed his arms in that way of his, less a cross, closer to a hug, making himself smaller. I’d like to say he couldn’t be intimidating if he tried, but that was only true physically. Nothing intimidated me more right now than his rejection.