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Tyler never knew he could feel that way from a voice only. ASMR wasn't his thing. Normally.
It was a strange trend to let a stranger’s voice soothe you to sleep. But sleep was elusive tonight. He kept turning in his bed, mind reeling, wishing for sleep with eyes wide open. So he thought why not. He couldn't go another day with only two to three hours of sleep. He was exhausted. Only stupid people never change their minds, he thought as he grabbed his phone.
He skimmed through videos with terms like "gentle tapping" "crunch sound" and "deep ear canal cleaning" whatever that meant. Most visuals seemed hypnotic, people doing gentle gestures in front of the camera, brushing a doll's long hair. It felt trippy.
He almost gave up.
Except it was four a.m. and he needed to sleep now. He had so much insomnia last week, it became impossible to focus during the day. He just wanted to fall into Morphe's arms softly and stay in it for at least eight consecutive hours.
He groaned, dropping his phone to the side while he rubbed at his eyes.
"Hey."
The voice startled him. He almost threw his headphones across the room.
He must have clicked on a video when he dropped his phone. He sighed.
"I know you've been carrying a lot lately, so would you relax your shoulders for me?"
Tyler did. His body obeyed the command before even registering it. He blinked. He had almost closed off the video that was a simple static image of a night sky. But the voice–
Tyler couldn't explain it but it actually felt nice.
"There. Isn't it better already?"
"Yeah," Tyler murmured.
And immediately clasped a hand over his mouth. Did he really just respond to a video ? But the voice was right, his shoulders had felt tight all day.
"Now, I need you to get comfortable okay?" The voice continued, there was some noise of blanket shifting, Tyler wondered if it was the ASMRtist moving or actually layered sound.
"Good. Now, close your eyes.”
Tyler did.
"You don't need to do anything else at the moment, just breathe. Breathe with me."
He followed the slow breathing of the voice. The little encouragement made him smile sarcastically through it. Part of him still couldn't believe he was actually doing that. The other was slowly falling asleep.
"You're doing so good," the voice praised, and Tyler felt a shiver down his spine.
Why did it almost sound familia r?
"You're enough, you're loved, you deserve to let go," the voice murmured.
It was warmth enveloping him. Something he hadn't felt in a long time.
He woke up the next morning rested. The headphones were discarded over the night. He blinked. It actually worked. This guy with the weird handle had actually made him fall asleep in record time.
He immediately subscribed to that tiny channel, not even a thousand subscriptions but Tyler didn't care. There was one thing he was sure about. This guy's voice had made him sleep better than he had in days, and he would cling to that.
Over the next few days, he listened to this guy "SpookyJim" – he didn't understand, there was nothing spooky about him – every time he needed to sleep. It always worked wonders.
However, it was only old videos. The last one dated back from a month ago. Every video had a random night sky picture as the background. SpookyJim never showed his face.
Tyler didn’t care, as long as he was rocked to sleep by this velvety soft voice. Every night, the same routine, headphones on, a video playing. He usually fell asleep in fifteen minutes and all the way through. Which was rare for him.
“You look rested,” Bea the sound engineer noticed one day as he got in the radio booth. “It’s nice to see.”
He knew he almost always looked like he was missing a couple of hours of sleep. He never thought it was noticeable though. He thanked her.
He got in the radio booth with his folder about the music reviews of the week. The show was about to start. He took his place behind the desk, carefully organizing his notes and adjusting the mic. He put the headphones on.
Bea countdown in his ear. The “on air” neon lit up and he switched to his perfect radio host voice.
“Good morning everyone. And welcome to your hour of pure music. I’m your host Tyler Joseph.”
From behind the glass Bea made a thumbs up. Here we go.
SpookyJim had posted a new video. It took every last drop of Tyler's willpower to not listen to it on his way home. He waited until he was showered, fed and tucked in his bed to slide on the noise cancelling headphone and tap the thumbnail.
It wasn’t a static picture this time.
There was a woman on the screen, facing away, laying on her side. Her beautiful caramel brown hair spilling around, draping her shoulders.
Tyler blinked in surprise.
“ Hey.”
His voice. Tyler’s heart immediately calmed, like his tone had the perfect frequency to tame Tyler’s anxiety.
“I wanted to try something different today.”
Two hands came into view. Calloused. But soft in the movement. It held one of those fancy jade combes, slowly brushing the hair of the model. The sound was soothing.
“That’s my friend Debby, who accepted to be my guinea pig for this new style of ASMR I’m trying.”
“Hi!”
It made Tyler smile. The two strangers whispering in his ears were warming his heart. How was that a thing?
The video continued. SpookyJim spoke less than in his other videos, focusing on hair brushing with different types of comb and brushes. Part of Tyler was jealous. He wanted to be taken care of exactly like that. “Debby” – if that was her real name – was really lucky.
“You can close your eyes.”
Tyler didn’t realize he was watching until the voice said it. He usually only listened but the video caught his attention.
“You only need to relax right now.”
Tyler breathed out. His eyes fluttered close. Sleep caught him.
Part of him was positively losing his mind. He was in the radio cafeteria, trying to jot down notes about Taylor Swift's newest song. The listeners would not forgive him if he said nothing about it. When his eyes caught a familiar head.
Debby’s head.
His pen came to a halt and he stared at the girl crossing the cafeteria. Phone in one hand. A folder under her arm. She had a reporter badge around her neck.
And beautiful caramel brown hair that had blonde highlights in the daylight.
It couldn’t be her. Right? It could not be her. They just had the same color. And haircut. And shoulders. That’s it. He saw a woman’s back, that was it. It couldn’t be the same woman. He was just obsessed with that last video.
It was so soothing and there were instances in which Spooky and Debby giggled, which made it so intimate to watch and listen. Tyler was just in awe from the video. It’ll pass.
He focused back on his review, pen sliding on paper but he couldn’t shake the feeling away.
She looked like her. And if, in some weird twist of the universe, it was her…Then Spooky couldn’t be far. It made his stomach clench.
That man, with a small following, and simple soothing videos had too much power over him. Which was fine when Tyler needed to sleep, when he needed to be soothed and feel loved, even if it was artificial.
It was another story in plain daylight. He didn’t let anyone tell him what to do, or think. He’s been told all his life what he should be. As an adult, he decided he was done. He wouldn’t give anyone powers over him.
He knew, deep down, that if he met Spooky in real life, he would fold like a lawn chair.
From a voice only.
From his voice only.
And it made him sick to his stomach.
He was still thinking about it when he walked into the radio booth. Bea was already behind the soundboard, making sure everything was ready.
“Hey Bea,” he greeted.
She barely responded, too engrossed in her work. He gave it a try anyway.
“Do you know a Debby by any chance?”
It got her attention, she looked over her shoulder.
“Debby who?”
“I’m not sure,” Tyler lied, “she’s a reporter here, I think.”
Bea thought for a second then shook her head.
“Nope, not ringing any bells,” she said with a shrug, “Why? Friends of yours?”
Tyler sighed. “No… I must have dreamt it.”
He wasn’t about to tell Bea everything. She’d think he’s crazy and obsessive. Which he was, he was aware of it. He didn’t need his coworker to know.
“Huh. Okay… You’re ready?” she changed the subject, absolutely not giving a shit about Tyler’s problem.
That’s why he liked working with Bea. She usually wasn’t the kind to make small talk if she wasn’t interested. Some sound engineers used to take up a lot of energy he didn’t even have in the first place.
“Yeah, let’s go,” he nodded.
He got in the booth. Organized his notes. Chair. Mic. Headphone.
1.2.3. Air on.
“Good morning everyone. And welcome to your hour of pure music. I’m your host Tyler Joseph. I know you are all excited about Taylor Swift’s new song, but first let me talk to you about Everybody Scream by that wonderful British singer Florence Welch.”
Thumbs up, here we go.
No new video. Tyler wasn’t waiting for it. Not exactly. But he couldn’t bear to watch the hair brushing video. All he could think of, every time, was her . He actually met Debby in that cafeteria.
He was almost sure of it.
He couldn’t prove it. Especially because he hadn’t seen her since that day but he was persuaded.
It made him uneasy. He stuck to older videos with only Spooky’s voice in his ears at night. He waited an entire week when a new video popped up.
It was late. Tyler struggled to sleep but had decided he wasn’t listening to Spooky that night.
He didn’t hesitate. He tapped on the thumbnail. A night sky. No more Debby.
“Hey, how are you doing?”
Tyler swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.
“I wanted to read you a music review tonight that I found really interesting.”
Huh. That was unusual. But he wasn’t against something new. Spooky liked to surprise his audience, not sticking to one ASMR style. It was obvious the man did it for the art more than the recognition.
“Lay back and close your eyes. You don’t need to listen to the words.”
Tyler did. His eyes closed on their own. He swore Spooky could read a grocery list with his smooth voice and Tyler would be out in seconds. A music review would be nice.
“The first subject of the review is Florence + The Machine.”
Oh. That was funny. That was the first subject on his show.
“Her last single Everybody Screams is an ode to stage and the celebration of a concert.”
What?! Tyler jolted. Those were his words. His review, his analysis.
No, he was being paranoid. But– “Ode to stage and the celebration of concert”? That was too specific.
He picked his phone up. He opened the description. If he was right – he might not be, he might just be a complete lunatic – there should be a mention of his work somewhere.
Here. A link to his show. To his review. With a thank you note for his work.
Spooky was listening to him. And apparently he made such an impression that he used his reviews as a form of content for his own channel. Tyler didn’t know how to feel. Spooky’s words were pouring in his ears.
His words in Spooky’s mouth.
He shuddered from head to toe. Like a primal shiver that came from a deep, locked place inside.
For the first time Spooky’s voice didn’t put him to sleep. It kept him wide open, eyes riveted to the screen, his breathing ragged as he was hearing his words through the lips of someone that held too much power.
The insomnia was back. He couldn’t bring himself to listen anymore.
He missed it. Dearly. But the anxiety of knowing he was perceived by that man. Plus the Debby thing. It was too much. Tyler didn’t want this pool of questions every time he slipped on his headphones.
“Woah,” Bea said once, “You look like shit.”
“Thanks, Bea,” he groaned as he chucked his bag into the corner of the room.
“No, seriously man, you need to sleep,” Bea said with concern, “Try white noise, it helps,” she added as she turned back to her console.
He wished he could tell her he tried everything but the voice of a man was haunting his dream. He shut up instead.
He was supposed to be on air in less than ten minutes. His review was lame. He had no energy and the idea that Spooky might listen to him made him dizzy. He was probably going to disappoint him.
The door of the booth opened, and a man in his mid-thirties barged in. A little out of breath. He had a head full of black curls and piercings over his nose. His eyes were a deep brown that swept around the room with surprise.
Bea immediately recognized him, “Oh hey man,” she handed him a case like she had expected him, “the omni-directional mic as you asked.”
He grinned while taking the case.
“Thanks, Bea.”
Wait.
“No probs,” she went back to her console.
The man turned to Tyler for a quarter of a second. He had a crooked smile, holding the case close to his heart.
“Hi, sorry, I love your show man, big fan,” he rushed his words.
That voice. That voice.
Tyler opened his mouth. He needed the man’s name. He needed him to speak more. He needed–
“I need to go, I’m already late for Deborah’s interview,” he swallowed, visibly embarrassed.
He scurried off before Tyler could say anything. Disappearing before Tyler could even say “hello” properly. But he knew that voice.
It was Spooky.
Without the shadow of a doubt. He wasn’t a radio host, he was a god damn tech here. He didn’t dream it, Debby was here too. “Deborah”, the one that interviewed artists! He should have known, he saw her name in documents previously. And this man was her sound engineer.
And he listened to Tyler and was a fan.
His knees almost gave out. His hands trembled. I love your show, with that tender tone. Like Tyler mattered.
“Wow, Tyler, you okay?” Bea called him. “You really need to sleep dude, you’re acting like a lunatic.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Bea frowned, “Poor Josh. Probably crushed. Shunned by his favorite radio host,” she shook her head. Going back to her work like Tyler’s world had not just broken open.
His name was Josh .
Now that he had the face behind the voice, everything felt… Too intimate. He tried listening to it. He needed to sleep after all. But the man – this handsome sound engineer – whispering in his ear was now giving him goosebumps.
It made him more awake in a way.
He didn’t know how to deal with it. He wasn’t the avoidant type. If he needed something done, he’d do it right then just so he could be at peace.
This time he wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t just come up to Josh and say “hey, hi. you’ve been whispering me to sleep for like three months and you’re the only reason I can sleep at night. You’re also insanely hot. But that’s unrelated.”
Nope. Not in the cards for Tyler. It wouldn’t even help! Because what would Josh say? Thank you? See you around? You’re creepy, fuck off please?
Why was it so awkward? Tyler usually didn’t care if fans told him they like his voice. It was part of the gig. He was flattered. Most people listened to him for the music recommendations. It was safe . ASMR was vulnerability packed in a weighted soft blanket.
But wasn’t that the purpose of it? To let go? To surrender?
Josh would probably feel flattered if Tyler told him, maybe it would relax him and help him listen to it again. Or make it worse . Either way he wouldn’t know if he didn’t try first.
He made his decision when he bumped into Josh in the elevator. God, he never saw that guy before he knew, and now he was just randomly meeting him? His stomach churned. Josh smiled.
“Hi.”
His voice . God, Tyler was a goner.
“Hey.”
He let the silence fill the space between them. Josh was drumming his fingers against his leg.
“So hum,” Tyler cleared his throat.
He scratched his chin.
“I need to ask you something,” he started.
Josh's drumming stopped. He looked confused like he had never expected Tyler to actually talk to him. Tyler swallowed trying to come up with something that wouldn't scare Josh away while also not betraying himself.
“Are you SpookyJim?” If he wasn't then the case was closed and they could move on.
But the shock on Josh's face... Yeah. Obviously, Tyler got it right. Josh stammered, even taking a step back in the elevator. The door suddenly opened, reminding them both they were here for their jobs.
They stepped out in silence. Tyler avoided looking at Josh. Maybe he crossed a line. He put Josh in a position he didn't want. The guy never showed his face. He probably hated being seen in that moment. He rolled his shoulder like he was preparing for a fight.
“Yes, that's me,” he whispered. “How did you...” he trailed, licking his lips. His eyes wouldn't meet Tyler's.
“Your voice.”
Simple. True. Tyler wasn't good at lying anyway.
“Really?” Josh shook his head, “I thought it wouldn't be recognizable. I don't even recognize myself when I listen to it,” he mumbled.
Tyler shifted his weight, uneasy.
“I've listened a lot to you these past few months,” he admitted.
“Really?” Josh's initial shock was morphing into something else.
“I hum... I have a hard time falling asleep and apparently you're the only one that can help me with it,” he tried to laugh to make it sound less desperate.
He failed miserably. He played with his fingers, trying to move his attention away from the man that had mystic powers in his voice.
“I'm sorry, that must be so creepy for you.”
“No!” Josh immediately countered, “That's why I do it, you know.”
He was smiling now, genuine.
“Knowing that my favorite radio host listened to me and I could help with insomnia, it's–” Josh's smile widened, “I'm really happy I could help you Tyler.”
That sweet tone, like a warm hand on his shoulders. Tyler breathed in and out on instinct. He nodded, trying to gather words that would make this exchange less... Whatever that was. He cleared his throat once more.
“I really like the hair brushing one, huh,” he scratched his head, “it was different and really nice.”
Josh positively beamed at Tyler, even taking a step forward. His eyes were sparkling. For a second, he realized that even though Tyler felt like Josh wielded all the power over him; he was Josh's star too and had as much power over the poor guy.
“A lot of people commented they felt kinda jealous of Debby but they also really liked the format,” Josh said, clearly excited to talk about his art, “and I really tried layering sounds with that one to have this uniformity you know? I didn't want listeners to wake up because of a sort of bump, it needed–” he stopped suddenly.
He had a sheepish look on his face, “Sorry, I don't want to bore you with it. I just don't have a lot of people I can talk to about that.”
“It's okay, I get it. You're a really good sound engineer, man,” he commented.
He swore Josh blushed under the compliment.
“Thanks. Means a lot to me,” he jerked his thumb behind him, “I should get to it.”
“Sure,” Tyler tilted his head, “and if you ever need feedback, I'm here.”
He didn't know why he said that. He just knew Josh was craving to talk about ASMR, about what he did. And that he loved listening to him.
Tyler always was the talker, the one who yapped without listening. But Josh's voice? It made him stop. The spiral in his head slowed. His heart calmed. He wanted to listen every chance he got.
He didn't see him for two days after that. It wasn't surprising, they were usually working on two different levels of the building and had different hours. From what Tyler knew Deborah's interviews were recorded in the evening and they rarely worked before 5 pm. Which was the exact time Tyler clocked out every day.
He didn't have to search for all of that info. Bea knew everything about everyone and she gave the info without asking for reasons. Which he appreciated.
And suddenly, a new video.
The background was a sky full of auroras.
Tyler was thankful he talked to Josh. Somehow, knowing that Josh appreciated being listened to and was expecting feedback made him slide on the headphone with excitement again.
Josh's velvet voice filled the space in his bed. His eyes closed on instinct. It was a soft tapping sound but there was almost a rhythm to it. Like he was drumming. It was those usual affirmation phrases. But there was something underneath.
“ You are safe with me right now as long as you need”
Tyler shivered, not a simple tingle. It almost felt directed at him. He knew technically it wasn't the case and that it was designed so everyone listening would feel like it's for them. But this time it actually felt directed to him.
It wasn't possible. Tyler wasn't delusional. Thank you very much. He knew crafted intimacy when he heard it.
“ You are allowed to take care of yourself, okay? You're working hard everyday. You can sleep now. I'll be there when you need me again.”
That's when he took him by surprise. A soft pant. Like Josh shuddered and breathed a bit too loud and the mic caught it.
Tyler opened his eyes. It actually felt like Josh was laying by his side in that moment. Whispering directly into his ears.
Josh was definitely a damn good sound engineer .
He didn't expect to run into Josh the next day. Still tingly from last night's session. His whole body thrumming like a live wire.
Josh was actually waiting in his booth. Talking with Bea as she rearranged the console to her liking.
“Hey, Tyler,” Josh greeted.
Tyler felt it deep into his stomach, he immediately breathed all the air out of his lungs.
“Hey,” he responded, coughing to hide his uneven breathing.
Josh looked timid for a second, his eyes avoidant.
“Did you watch the video?” he asked.
Tyler felt his knees buckle, he had to grip Bea's chair to stabilize himself without looking absolutely stupid. She cursed at him and he slid a look to her. Did Josh want to talk about it in front of her?
“Yeah, I know,” Bea stated, catching his glimpse, she pointed to the door, “Can you get out, I got stuff to do.”
It was like a cold bucket of water. Definitely what he needed to get out of that room with Josh.
In the hallway, Josh leaned on the doorframe, face curious.
“Yeah, I watched it,” Tyler finally said.
Josh lit up like a Christmas tree. It wasn't fair that the guy had a good voice and a good personality – Tyler wasn't even mentioning his looks, it was unfair.
“Did you like it? I tried some new stuff,” he shrugged, “don't sugarcoat it, I really want to improve.”
Tyler swallowed down the lump in his throat that kept coming back up.
“It was really good Josh, honestly, I don't know how you could improve it. It almost felt like–” he caught himself.
Josh grew curious, “Like what?”
Tyler looked at his shoes, kicking an invisible pebble.
“Like you were there in the room,” he admitted without meeting Josh's eyes.
“Oh,” Josh muttered, “was it too much? I don't want it to be uncomfortable.”
It was definitely not the word Tyler would use. Magical, intimate, mind blowing, caring. Those were more adapted.
“No,” he answered simply.
And there must have been something in his face, because Josh stopped smiling. His eyes wide, his mouth slightly agape like he was taking in Tyler's expression in that moment. Maybe he was.
Bea called him from the inside, shaking both of them out of their trance. He said bye to Josh, suddenly hiding his face away and closed the door briskly behind him.
Bea was waiting, a raised eyebrow on her face.
“What?” Tyler spat.
“Nothing,” she said, turning back in her swivel chair with a knowing look.
Tyler had stayed a bit later than usual. My Chemical Romance had announced a world tour last minute, and he had to write something about it. He had a strict policy of not working from home, as he tended to spend hours on each article he wrote.
So when he finally exited the building, Josh was there. Probably going home too.
He hadn't seen him since the day he asked for feedback. Part of Tyler thought he should have asked for his number. He completely forgot the moment he saw Josh's soft face.
Can this man stop being this cute?
“Hey, Tyler.”
And this voice! God, Tyler needed to get checked for being a complete idiotic romantic.
“Hey, what's up?” he responded as Josh caught up to him.
“I wanted to ask you something,” Josh had a mischievous look in his eyes.
Tyler should have been wary. Instead, he knew he would say yes to whatever it was.
“Go on.”
“Would you be a model for my next video?”
The world stopped. Tyler's whole body tensed up.
“What?” he croaked out.
“Yeah, like... I want to do another brushing and care session and I thought I'd ask you?” he immediately held up his hands, embarrassed. “If you're okay with it. Don't need to show your face or anything.”
Yes, I want that , Tyler wanted to straight up exclaim. Instead he made a show of not being sure.
“Huh, sure why not,” he shrugged like he wasn't melting inside. “When?”
“Tomorrow night? It's an off day for me,” Josh asked, his eyes sparkling.
“Yeah, that works,” Tyler sniffled.
Josh, once again, looked like a ray of sunshine. Thanking Tyler one too many times, chatting excitedly about the trigger he'd do. And Tyler?
Oh, Tyler wasn't
surviving
that night.
Josh's place was cozy. A studio apartment, with too many posters and pictures. Concert tickets that Tyler took the time to examine. Paramore. MCR. Of course Josh had great taste.
There was a soundboard and a mixing table in the corner. And close to the couch, a mic and a bunch of brushes and accessories. Josh pushed things aside, talking anxiously as he tried to hide some dirty laundry under his bed. Tyler chuckled under his breath. At least Josh wasn't entirely perfect, that would have ruined the fun.
Josh instructed him to lay on his side, back to him.
“Get comfortable,” he said, with that tone of voice that always punched Tyler to sleep, “and if anything bothers you, you tell me, okay?”
“'kay,” Tyler mumbled, like his heart wasn't hammering against his ribcage.
There was the click of the camera rolling and the mic being set up. And then–
That soft voice that sent shudders down his spine.
“Hello everyone. Welcome for a new video. This time I'm with my friend, Tyler.”
“Hey,” Tyler mumbled, hoping his raspy voice wouldn't give away how stressed he was.
The caring started at the base of his neck. Slowly massaging and grazing his skin. Tyler had to bite his lip to not make a sound. It felt good. Like having an actual friend taking care of him. And maybe he missed that more than he cared to admit.
His breathing synced up to Josh's. And soon enough, he felt himself drift to sleep as Josh's hand brushed through his hair.
“You can sleep if you want,” Josh muttered.
“I don't want to miss out on this,” Tyler responded.
He swore he heard the corner of Josh's mouth turn up.
“You know I always admired you,” Josh suddenly said, “I always loved your show.”
Tyler swallowed. And hoped the mic didn't pick it up.
“I thought you always had good insight on artists and what their messages are.”
“It's nothing,” Tyler mumbled.
Josh took a soft brush. He made a soft movement in Tyler's hair, easing him, soothing him.
“You did a good job.”
Was he talking to the audience or him?
“You're doing a good job. You're putting sense into something people tend to consume without thinking,” Josh continued, “It's important to do.”
Why did he want to cry ? It didn't matter. It was words. Words and care. Nothing to cry about.
“You are important.”
Tears spilled. Tyler gasped for air. His lungs felt devoid. He heaved. Immediately the soothing in his hair stopped.
“Tyler, I'm so sorry,” Josh sounded panicked, “I didn't mean to hurt you,” he mumbled.
Tyler curled up on Josh's couch. The crying would not stop. Suddenly, a hand came over his shoulder.
“Tyler, what's wrong?”
“I don't know,” Tyler sobbed, “I don't know.”
He felt two large hands force him to turn. Josh was facing him, brows creased with worry. The camera behind him was shut down. Tyler felt stupid for ruining Josh's care video. It was for show, and he blew it.
“It's okay, you can cry,” Josh said.
He hopped onto the couch beside Tyler, knees to his chest.
“I feel stupid,” Tyler was trying to dry the upsetting tears.
“You don't have to,” Josh said, his chin resting on his knees, “I invited my favorite radio host to my place and made him cry. I feel stupid.”
Tyler chuckled despite himself, “you really are something.”
“Something good?”
Tyler looked at him under his wet lashes, “Definitely something good.”
He sniffled. The tears were under control.
“I'm scared of the power you have over me, Josh,” he admitted, heart broken open, “your voice is making me...” he faltered.
Josh stayed silent, his expression closed off like he was being berated for something. Tyler reached. Leaning back on the couch until he was sitting close to Josh, legs touching.
“I like it,” he simply said, “I like losing control under your care. But it scares me.”
“I don't want to scare you,” Josh breathed out, shaky, “I admire you. I just wanted to get close. But not if it means hurting you or breaking boundaries.”
Tyler let his forehead bump against Josh's.
“You're a good person.”
“I try.”
Silence filled the space. Only the soft breathing of them in unison. And then, an impulse. Tyler's hand reached. He took Josh's chin into two fingers. He angled his face closer. Josh was backing up, he leaned in.
Their lips met softly. Tasting of chapstick and salt. Josh hummed against his lips, sending a chock down Tyler's spine. He pressed himself closer, knocking a brush off the couch. Josh's hand timidly found his waist.
When they broke apart, Tyler didn't let go. He kept Josh's face in his hand. Their forehead pressed together.
It felt clear in Tyler's mind for the first time that night.
Josh's voice had been calling to him. He was simply answering the call.