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Mark was already having a bad day. Their next venue had been flooded and they needed to make plans. They somehow lost a keyboard between the last show and tonight. And he couldn't find his artists/friends to at least find a solution to those problems.
Which led him to look everywhere. Even in places he shouldn't have.
Which led him to be scared for life by the image of his friends – excuse his french – fucking in the closet of the greenroom.
"Oh my– GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU–!"
He turned on his heels. Ready to bolt. He heard yelping behind him, the clatter of a broom and the shuffle of pants being put back on.
"Wait, Mark, wait!"
He heard but he refused to look back.
"I told you." Josh said as Mark exited the room.
He couldn't erase the image from his mind. Every blink it got clearer. He only saw Josh's back. Well. Not only. He saw Tyler's leg wrapped over his hips, arms wrapped over his shoulders, head tilted back in ecstasy. And there were no pants in sight.
And the sounds.
He wanted to bleach his brain. He wanted to rewind time and never search for them if it meant seeing... Whatever that was.
"Mark."
"Nope," he walked faster, fists balled up.
"Mark, we need to talk," Tyler repeated, on his heels.
"Nope. I'm not discussing that," he turned a corner.
But Tyler’s hand was suddenly on his arm forcing him to turn back to him. Mark exhaled through his nose. Long and difficult.
“Mark,” Tyler said, eyes earnest, “what you saw–”
But he wasn’t letting him have it. He got his arms out of Tyler’s grasp.
“Dude, no, I can’t– We have so many issues right now and you were– And I can’t say it and–” his eyes fell down, he immediately regretted it, “OH JESUS I can see the outline of your dick. Man. No. That’s…” he groaned behind his hands.
“Okay, maybe don’t look at me right now,” Tyler hissed between his teeth, “but Mark, you need to keep your voice down.”
Mark looked up, eyes crazed out.
“My voice… Down? My voice DOWN?! You were getting fucked in a greenroom closet! by Josh! ” He whined, spinning around, gripping at his hair, “What is WRONG with you two?!”
“Nothing!” Tyler shot back.
“Nothing?!” Mark exclaimed, waving his arms around, “So you just decided to bang for no reason on a random Tuesday," he blurted out.
Tyler winced, tried to step closer.
“I really need you to stop yelling, man,” he said.
Mark pointed at him,“And I need acid to forget about all of this.”
Tyler groaned, clearly annoyed by the whole thing. “We didn’t decide to have sex on a random Tuesday."
For the first time, Mark stopped. He was frozen. This changed everything. It wasn't a one spur of the moment thing. It was a real relationship that needed to be addressed.
Mark breathed out. He snapped out of it, trying to regain some control over the situation.
“What? You mean you are dating?” he asked, earnest.
Tyler blinked, surprised.
“No. Not at all,” he answered, shifting from one foot to another, “Josh and I… Huh… We have been doing this since our first tour…” he shrugged like it was no big deal.
Mark held up his hands, his mouth going slack.
“I’m sorry. What? ”
Tyler looked him straight in the eyes.
“We’ve been friends with benefits for years,” he enunciated, “Just to– You know, release tension.”
Another shrug. Mark wanted to strangle him. What did he mean they were doing this for years to release tension ?! Mark wanted to scream. He rubbed both hands over his face in frustration.
“That’s not… Oh Jesus, Tyler, this is not how you release tension!” he blew out.
Tyler pouted. Actually pouted . Like a petulant child that didn't get why he was getting scolded.
“It works,” he crossed his arms over his chest.
Mark took a step back. He still had the image bored into his retina. He turned away.
“I– Have no words. I need a minute,” he mumbled.
Tyler sniffled.
“Just don’t tell anyone,” he stated.
Like he was just asking Mark to not tell he was the one who ate the last cookie. The cookie in question being Josh.
Mark groaned as he sped down the hall, away from that mess.
“DON’T FUCK YOUR BANDMATE THEN!” he shouted.
It took him a full day to come around. Every time he blinked the image reappeared in his brain. He almost choked himself with a DMX cable. He found Tyler at the back of the venue. Alone. Thankfully .
“Okay, walk me through it. How did it happen?” he asked as he plopped beside him.
Tyler frowned, looking at him in surprise.
“You want to know now?”
It was a fair question. Mark had acted like Tyler had mentioned he liked torturing little animals. When all he did was apparently bend over for his friend. Mark shuddered, hating his own brain.
“You hid this from me, your friend , for years,” he articulated, “I deserve to know.”
It was hard to admit that he was completely blindsided. How could he have missed this when he's with them 24/7? How many times had they snuck around and Mark saw nothing ?
Tyler inhaled sharply, his head lolling from side to side like he was trying to pin point where to start.
“Okay…” he breathed out, “It just started because Josh was stressed about a show one night and he came into the room,” he swallowed, “And we hugged.”
Mark blinked. That was it? A hug was all it took? They hugged all the time, there was nothing sexual in this. He didn't understand how a hug had made such a 180.
“And it led you to have sex?”
He shouldn't have asked.
“Well, at first I just sucked him off for the stress and–”
He really shouldn't have . He immediately covered his ears to drown out the sound of Tyler's nonchalant voice, like he was talking about the weather.
“OH NO. No, no, no!” he screamed, “Spare me the details, please.”
Tyler rolled his eyes like Mark was being difficult.
“You said you wanted to know!” he fought back.
Mark groaned, probably regretting ever following Tyler in his projects. Him and his weird wonderful mind.
“Yes, but I don’t need the mental image of… That ,” he groaned, “I already got one of you in that closet.”
Tyler giggled sheepishly. Mark wanted to sue that man for emotional damage.
“Sorry about that. Josh told me it was a bad idea but– You know how it is,” Tyler was smiling ear to ear.
Mark stared at him, boring a hole in his forehead.
“No. I don’t,” he shot back. He sighed, there was something wrong with all of this, “I don’t get it. Years of… whatever that is and you’re just friends?” he asked in disbelief.
Tyler tilted his head, confused.
“Yeah? What’s wrong with it?”
Mark blinked, “Well… It’s a pending PR disaster for one.”
“Don’t care.”
“Of course,” Mark said, not surprised in the slightest, it wasn't the real problem anyway,“And, second, you two are really emotional people, how did you not fall in love and keep this going on?”
Because this was the part Mark didn't get. If Tyler was telling the truth and they had been having sex for years now, all the while maintaining a close friendship and being able to work albums without it being a problem. Then it sounded more like a relationship. A couple.
Especially with those two. Mark never saw two people treating friendship with such care and understanding. He couldn't imagine that they just had sex once in a while for their nerves and it was no big deal.
Also, it was relieving to know he hadn't caught them before. Meaning they were probably really careful.
“Oh… I don’t know,” Tyler frowned, “It felt right.”
Surely, he must hear himself. But no, Tyler kept looking at him like he didn't get where he was going with this.
“See that’s hum…” Mark searched for the words, “Are you sure it’s just sex?”
“He’s my friend too,” Tyler explained, like it changes anything to the situation.
Mark bit his tongue. He didn't want to yell at his friend that that wasn't what he was asking.
“Yes. Okay. I get it,” he exhaled, “BUT you don’t have sex with your friend for years and call it a day. What happens when one of you falls in love?”
Surely, he would get it.
“Its never happened,” Tyler frowned.
He really didn't get it.
Mark breathed in again.
“But what if? What happened to your relationship? To the band? How do you deal with that?” he pressed on.
“It’s not important. We’re not in love with anyone,” Tyler answered, shaking his head like Mark was being difficult over nothing.
Mark sighed.
“I get it. But follow me for a second,” he tried once more, “let’s say tomorrow Josh falls in love with someone and decides to end this friendship with benefits. How will you deal with it?”
This is when the shift happened. Tyler's entire face changed. Like he]d never considered that possibility before. His eyes widened, his fists balled up.
“Oh,” he muttered.
“Yeah.”
He let it sink in. Let Tyler feel the weight of the relationship and what it entailed, something he’d probably never done before. Which was surprising considering both Tyler and Josh overthought everything. Somehow they didn't put as much thought into that .
“But… Josh isn’t– He’s–”
Tyler swallowed hard, his hand brushing through his hair. His eyes turned glassy. Suddenly, Mark wondered if he made a mistake talking about this now. They obviously had something good going on, established for years, and Mark just came in and put his foot in it.
“You okay?” he was genuinely worried for Tyler now.
“Yeah. I just realized that…” he swallowed, “In my head, Josh is mine to love and cherish, I never considered it any other way.”
Mark's face softened. He didn't mean for Tyler to have a big revelation, especially before a show. He had just wanted to understand what was going on. Turns out, they had been hiding it so much that one question was putting the roots at risk.
“Am I… Am I in love with him?!” Tyler asked him, almost desperate for an answer.
Mark's breath caught, “Didn’t say that.”
“No but that’s what you meant,” Tyler stated angrily.
Mark nodded dumbly. He didn't know how to handle any of it. Tyler was pacing now, his eyes crazed out like he was reliving every little moment of his relationship with Josh. Before Mark could salvage any of it. Tyler was squatting on the floor, head between his knees, hands grabbing at his hair, muttering gibberish.
Great. Now, he had a broken singer. That was just... perfect .
Josh barged backstage, marching straight to Mark. Most techs immediately cleared out the aisle. Tyler being mad was a thing. Josh being mad? You didn't want to see it.
“What did you say to Tyler?!” he snarled as he stopped short of Mark.
“Nothing!” Mark defended himself, lifting both hands as if police were holding him at gun point.
He’d actually said many things to Tyler. But his main instinct was to survive Mad Josh. He needed to lie for that.
“Really?” Josh continued, closing in menacingly, “Because everything was fine until you found us. And now he's being weird.”
He looked hurt and confused. Mark tried to calm him down.
“It's not my fault,” he softly said, “he's realizing this isn't normal.”
Josh's eyes steeled. He scrunched his nose, lifting a finger to shush Mark.
“I'm going to stop you right there : our relationship doesn't need to be normal to be good,” he detached each word like he wanted them to imprint in Mark's brain.
Mark immediately backtracked, “Josh, I'm not judging you.”
“Yes! Yes, you are!” his breathing shaky, his fists balled up, “You saw us in that closet and you immediately thought it was this weird thing. I'm sorry you saw us, okay?!” his eyes were glassy, his anger was turning into something ugly in his throat, “I tried telling Tyler it was a bad idea to do that there. But except that one time, it never affected the band, the crew or anyone, really. So why are you shoving your nose into something that doesn't concern you if you aren't judging?”
Josh was heaving. It wasn't just a funny thing anymore, something that Mark caught and was yelling about like a chicken without a head. It was both his friends hurting from a situation they’d never questioned.
He reached into the space between them, putting a hand on his arm.
“Because I'm scared for you,” his voice was soft, a band-aid over the pain, “Josh, I'm your friend. And knowing you two, one day it will reach a breaking point and Tyler will want to talk about it while you deflect and it will break everything,” he explained.
Josh's jaw clenched. He ripped his arm off his grasp.
“Yeah, well, we've reached that point. Because of you. So thank you for your concern, I guess.”
He turned away before Mark could say anything else. He never meant for things to go this far. He groaned. The show was in a couple of hours and both men were struggling with years long feelings they pushed down instead of talking out.
That's just so great .
The show was starting in thirty minutes and Mark couldn't find either of them . He searched everywhere. He didn't mind if he found them in a compromising situation once more. He just needed them to be ready for the stage. The venue was already packed, he wasn't announcing a cancellation now.
He was passing by an office when he finally heard Josh's voice.
“Look, I don't know why we're talking about this.”
Mark stopped, went back a few steps. The office door was askew, and he could hear both of them inside. He hesitated barging in for good measure but his hand froze on the handle.
“Because I love you, Josh,” Tyler was pacing, the rhythm of his footsteps were frantic, “and we've been playing this game for years like it's casual but it's not!” the footsteps stopped, “Listen to me, it's not! It's our lives being so intertwined with one another that we didn't even clock it when we were in a relationship,” he sounded out of breath, on the verge of tears.
There was a shuffle. Mark took a step back. One of them was directly behind the door, the voice clearer.
“I don't know what you want me to say.”
“That you love me!” Tyler cried out.
Mark swallowed hard, this wasn't something he was supposed to hear. He looked at his watch, twenty-five minutes before the stage.
“I do love you,” Josh said simply, he moved away from the door, “I love you. It's never been a question,” his tone softer than velvet.
Mark would swoon if it was directed to him.
“Not like that! I want–” Tyler screamed in frustration, “I want dates and romance, and you staying the night even when we're not touring!” he blurted out.
God, he wanted to cry. He felt sorry to have opened a wound Tyler had never noticed. The timing too, was unfortunate.
“I thought you liked what we have,” he sounded like a kicked puppy.
The poor man must have thought he did everything wrong.
“I do! I like it. I like you!” Tyler insisted, “But this! We can't stay like this forever.”
“Why not?” his voice was so small, Mark almost didn't hear him.
“Because I want more,” Tyler calmed down, his breathing still ragged.
He obviously clocked in Josh's hurt, and was regulating himself, “I want breakfast in bed, and holding your hand and growing old. Just... Being on the same page, knowing you're not going anywhere with some chick.”
“I am not going anywhere. It's you. It's only you. I don't need more, Ty',” Josh was sure, his voice steady.
Mark looked at his watch. They needed to hurry up. Maybe he could barge in now? He heard a kiss being exchanged, but then : “Did Mark make you scared that I was gonna leave?”
Okay. He wasn't going in now, he didn't need both of them tearing him a new one. He bit at his lips. He'll have to wait.
“Kinda,” he admitted, “I never thought for one second you'd leave me for someone else and suddenly... I understood that it was a real possibility since we're “casual”. Since it's just sex. And I can't bear it,” his voice grew quiet, “Not having you.”
Those two men and their feelings would be Mark's death.
“Oh wow,” Josh huffed a humourless laugh, “Ty'... What part of me repeatedly saying ‘I'm yours’ while you were deep inside me on my birthday made you think it was casual?”
Aaaaand this wasn't something Mark needed to hear. Could they wrap it up already? They had only twenty minutes left. There was some shuffling around, Josh laughing, Tyler whispering something Mark didn't hear.
“Okay...Huh, guess we're getting romantic then? For real. No friends with benefits bullshit,” Josh announced proudly.
Okay. Good, thought Mark. They would be right on time and in a good mood for the stage. Perfect.
“So where do we start?” Josh continued.
“Bend me over that table?”
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?!
“Yup.”
Mark barged in, covering his eyes just in case and pointing in the general direction of their voices.
“NOPE! YOU'RE HITTING THE STAGE NOW!” he yelled.
“Mark! What the–” Tyler yelled at him.
Mark kept his eyes resolutely close. He had seen one too many things for the rest of his life.
“I won't get involved in your relationship ever again,” he announced, “Just hit the stage and then you can do whatever you were doing, I do not care,” he waved around frantically.
“You're a prude,” Tyler told him as he passed.
“And you're a whore,” he shot back.
“He really is,” Josh added as he followed Tyler out.
Mark finally opened his eyes. He needed a raise. Or to quit. Or a lobotomy.