Chapter Text
Formats:
- "Speech"
- "Emphasis or powerful voice"
- 'Thoughts'
- "Memory quotes"
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……Darth Sygnious presents……
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……Star Wars: Ahsoka of the Zerg……
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…darkness………
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…emptiness………
………mm……
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………where……
…where……am……I…
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Darkness…
…I………hurts……
…“You’re reckless, little one”…
Voices… far away…
“You never would have made it as Obi-Wan’s Padawan.”……
Familiar voices, whispers from so far away…
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“But you might make it as mine”…
…where……am…
…can’t……can’t…
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…………
Darkness……… Nothing …… but darkness.
Stillness……
…………
…can’t…
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…images…… memories…… barely reaching…… from a deep… deep… nothingness… void……
…M……Ma……ster……
“You’re reckless, little one,” Master Skywalker said, after he sat down with her.
Nothing but the view of a war-torn greenish crystal-like city around them, and lots of wrecked droids nearby.
“You never would have made it as Obi-Wan’s Padawan.”
She sat hunched over, and closed her eyes in sadness.
“But you might make it as mine” he finished, glancing at her, to which she quickly met the gaze of her new Master, with a relieved smile.
“Really?” she thought. Was it really true? They’ve just met, and all they have done up to now is bickering at each other. Oh, and destroying a bunch of droids. And blowing up that shield generator.
Her new master smiled back, slightly.
“Come on”, he said, standing up.
The young togruta swiftly picked up her backpack, and ran after her new Master with great joy. She was really going to be his Padawan!
*Thump*…………………………
…Mas……ter…
Darkness……
…am……
…I……
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Darkness…….nothingness……
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………floating in space, into nothing…
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……am……………I………
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…dead…?……
“Ahsoka Tano. By an overwhelming count of”…
That sharp voice… His voice…
……Ana…kin…
“… have found you guilty of all the crimes you have been accused of…”
*Thump*…………………………
“…you are hereby sentenced to death.”
……h.……
……help…
……me……
*Thump*…………………………
Cling onto life.
Don’t give up.
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Darkness……
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Asleep……
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Darkness forever……
Time…or…no time…all void…
…nothingness…
Days…Hours…seconds…all the same…
Seconds…years…eternity…instant…nothing………everything…
*Thump*…………………………
Darkness……
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………“… you are hereby sentenced to death.”…
Despair.
She stared at Padmé, pleading to herself that this wasn’t true. That she had heard wrong. But Padmé look told her otherwise. The look of horror in her face. The same overwhelming despair she felt brewing inside her chest, trying to push upwards through her throat, threatening to spill over.
“No…”
A part of her feared that this would happen. After all, she hadn’t been too optimistic. But the rest of her was in denial. That this… this?!…
A long prison sentence, like so many others before her, that was what she had prepared herself for, before entering this court. She’d still be screwed, but hopefully, from then on… maybe, just maybe, she, Anakin and Padmé could have worked this out and somehow solved the murders, over the long term. Instead Tarkin demanded the death sentence, and was granted his wish.
The voices all around were nothing more but distant mumbling now. Insignificant. The shock was too great for her to make anything sensible out of them. All she could do was stare at Padmé. Then a quick glance at Captain Tarkin, who bore a smug look, while fighting the increasingly spinning world around her.
Someone yanked her from behind, pulling her away. She glanced back at Padmé, who stood there at her platform, shrinking further and further away from her sight. Nothing but the look of horror reeking from the senator’s face.
She was… She was going to die?…
“Master… Anakin… help me! Please hurry!”
Memories from far… far… away…
… Please…
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… I’m…….
… I’m ……
… hur… hurts……
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… I can’t…
…can’t…
…I…
…can’t…
…can’t…
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Don’t give up.
………
Don’t give up.
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Cling onto life.
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…So…
……
…tired…
“You’re early,” Louise Raynor muttered, as the mercenary with long red hair was inspecting her ship for damages.
“I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing,” Ahsoka spoke as she came around the corner of her ship.
“I thought patience was something you Jedi excelled at,” the older human said, still looking over the dropship's hull.
“Well, you haven’t said anything about where I can wait,” the younger togruta retorted with a smirk.
“Smartass,” Raynor replied, casting a glance at the eager teenager.
“So, what happened?” Ahsoka asked, curious about the minor damages on the ship’s hull, consisting of tiny blast marks.
“Doesn’t look that bad.”
“Blaster rifles,” Raynor answered, “Got caught by a few battle droids just at the moment I was starting up the ship. They landed a few shots before the deflector shield was up.”
“And Master Skywalker said that you were the best,” Ahsoka teased.
“Best yes,” Louise smirked back, “Efficient. But there’s no such thing as perfect, kid. First, have a good plan. Then, when the plan goes awry, think on your feet. Which, I’d say, your master does very well. Almost too well.”
“He’s a master at that,” the Jedi Padawan chuckled.
“You’ve been with him for only two weeks, how can you possibly know?” Louise raised an eye brow.
“I guess he’s that good?” Ahsoka shrugged.
The mercenary merely shook her head.
“So, tell me Ahsoka, have you ever done any espionage before? Or stealth missions?”
“No! Two weeks, remember!”
“Then I guess today is a first. This should be an interesting trip,” Raynor said, before motioning for her to enter through the ship’s back ramp.
“I’ll look forward to gain some experience,” Ahsoka quipped.
“Good, that will make Rex happy,” Louise said.
Before reaching the back ramp of the ship, Ahsoka noticed some letters at the top of the ship’s hull.
“The Tarsonis,” she read.
“Yes,” the mercenary said, seeming absent-minded for a moment, “I named it in honor for a place that was lost long ago, in a war… far, far away.”
……familiar face………familiar hair………
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…L……L……Loui…se……
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Darkness…….nothingness……
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“did a……stic job tod…Snips”……
…Voices again……………
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“All thanks… your train……aster”……
…barely there………voices……
“Yeah, y……ight”…
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…An……Anakin……
“I probably do deserve………but not all…it”……
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……where……
“Good thing I know………mean everyt……you say…”……
……are……you……
It all went so wrong… The squadron she was leading… the men under her command… They…
“Ahsoka, I am very disappointed in you,” Master Skywalker said sternly, as he had arrived to her ship, where she currently sat on its wing, dejected by the failure. Her failure.
The first time the young Padawan was leading others, and she got half of them killed.
She looked up at her Master, as his words reached her.
“You not only disobeyed the Admiral, you disobeyed me.”
“I thought I could knock out those battleships,” the teenager replied, “so when Master Obi-Wan arrived, he could get through.”
“I know you meant well, Snips,” Anakin said with an agitated tone, “but there’s a bigger picture that you’re not aware of. First rule of war, listen and obey your superiors.”
“But sometimes you get carried away,” Ahsoka pointed out, as she stood up.
“All that means,” her Master said more softly, putting a hand on her shoulder, “is that I understand what you’re going through.”
“But I failed,” she said, dejectedly.
“It was a trap, Snips. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I lost so many of my pilots.”
“Take heart, little one,” Anakin reassured her, “That’s the reality of command.”
Not that she felt much better. As Captain Rex came and interrupted Master Skywalker, Ahsoka turned and left. She was so… useless…
*Thump*……………
…I…failed……
…failed……
…fai…led…
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…So…tired……
She paced around in her death cell, looking everywhere. Thinking. Not thinking! Trying to, and failing miserably! Madness! Everything was a turmoil, inside and out! How could this happen?!
How could they listen to that bantha-kriffing sleemo, and not Padmé?! Even if everything pointed towards her…
It was Ventress! She set her up! Why don’t they listen to her?!!
She had given everything for the Jedi, and the Republic! At least, couldn’t they do a proper investigation?! Stand with her, as she had stood with them?! There had to be something someone overlooked?!
Ahsoka frantically looked around, as she had for the last hour. What if she suddenly spotted a small hole somewhere? Or a tiny vent she could… somehow!… escape through?! Something she had overlooked?!
‘What am I doing?!…’
Taking a deep breath, the former Padawan sat down at the cell bench.
‘Calm down…’
…
‘I can’t calm down! I’m going to die! I’m going to kriffing die!!’
And the frightened togruta bounced up again, pacing around, panting, with anxiety exploding inside.
‘I’m going to die… I’m going to die… I’m going to die…’
This gray death row cell was even more depressing than the usual cells she had seen in the Republic prison. Dark gray walls, covering three sides, one bunk bed and a red ray shield that separated her from the world out there. Her only company was the guard, a clone trooper that passed by now and then.
And the eerie silence… In the Republic prison, the hordes of prisoners could at least keep her some company, try to make her forget her plight for just a moment, while shouting their tales of regality, glory and achievements. Maybe their thefts, their achievements. Kill counts…
‘Ugh, what’s happened to me,’ Ahsoka felt a shiver, with a mirthless smile.
In a way, it was morbidly funny what fear of death could do to someone.
“Fear is the path to the Dark side,” master Yoda said many times.
‘Fine and dandy, when you’re fighting out there in a war,’ Ahsoka thought dryly.
‘I’m stuck in here, just waiting to die… For something I didn’t do!!’
She had fought many battles where she could have been killed. She held out against enemies like Ventress and Grievous. And yet, here, all alone, away from the war front, the young togruta was freaking out! No, scratch that! Breaking down! Yes, breaking down!
And this cell… not as bright and cheery as the Republic prison. No, death cells in military prisons are probably meant to crush you even more, before you kriffing die! Take away any last hope, joy, whatever you name it, snuff it away from you, before they finish you off!
Most Jedi would probably sit down and meditate, maybe find an answer in the Force. Peace. Calm. An absolution maybe? Well, she couldn’t find peace, calm, or that karking absolution, or whatever, because these kriffing force binders cuffed on her hands cut her off from the Force!!
‘Master… Padmé… Anyone? Please, now would be a good time. Please help me somehow. Pretty please!’
Her Master would save the day, as he always did! Master Skywalker would find Ventress, and bring her to court. The truth would be revealed! Joy to all!
And Padmé, yeah, she would make her appeal. Drag this out long enough, so her Master could find that witch. Or maybe the appeal court would have more sensible people who would listen to Padmé. There was an appeal court, right? Right?
“Ahsoka?”
She heard Padmé’s voice from behind, and quickly turned around to see her dear friend, on the other side of the ray shield. The clone trooper guarding the cell deactivated it and let the senator in. Padmé quickly pulled Ahsoka into a hug, not wanting to ever let go.
“Oh Ahsoka…” the woman murmured, fighting a hiccup of her own, keeping her tears at bay.
The senator reluctantly pulled away from their embrace, but held on to the teenager’s shoulders, as they looked at each other. Clearly, Padmé still could not comprehend how it had come to this.
“Padmé…” Ahsoka asked shivering “… what are we going to do?!”
“I will fight it!” Amidala declared.
“I will appeal to the higher courts! I will convince them of everything that has been overlooked! Demand a proper investigation! Everything, everything needs to be examined thoroughly!”
“But… Padmé…” Ahsoka spoke weakly.
“Trust in us!” the senator implored, “We will make this right!”
Oh, she wanted to believe her, alright. So why was that constrained despair Padmé worked so hard to hide, still showing in her face, even if only a little? Who was the senator really trying to convince? Ahsoka, or herself?
Padmé took a deep breath, fighting to calm down.
“We will make this right,” she said, asserting a little more self-control over herself.
“…Master Skywalker… he will find her, won’t he?” Ahsoka asked, desperate for hope.
Padmé nodded.
“Have faith in him,” she tried to reassure her, with a strained smile.
“Here is what we’re going to do-”
“Excuse me, madam senator,” a trooper interrupted her from outside.
Padmé turned to see two more standing there, armed with blaster rifles.
“It is time for you to leave,” the one to the left said.
“What?” Padmé exclaimed, eyes widened in shock.
“How dare-?! I’m her advocate, and a member of the Republic Senate, you can’t just throw me out!”
“I’m sorry, but visiting convicted traitors at this time is prohibited. I must ask you to leave,” he said, coldly.
“This is preposterous! According to the laws of-”
“Get her out!” the trooper ordered, before they both seized the senator, and dragged her out, while the third stood by, ready to reactivate the ray shield.
“What are you doing!” Amidala shouted, before casting a horrified look at Ahsoka.
“Ahsoka!” she yelled towards the shocked togruta, before she disappeared from the view. The ray shield was turned back on, shining its red light into the cell.
“Ahsoka! Trust in Anakin!” she heard Padmé yelling from the hallway.
“I will fight with all I-”
Ahsoka heard a scuffle from the hallway, Padmé was clearly trying to resist the guards who dragged her away.
“Don’t- … lose hope!! Believe in him!”
She silently let herself drop down on the floor. What the Force had just happened?!
It would have been merely shocking, had she only been a witness, not the convicted one…
And that turmoil she tried so hard to contain inside, could no longer be contained. Herbreathing increased, faster and faster.
*Thump*……………
Darkness…
…Padmé……help……
Nothingness…
…help me……Padmé……help……
*Thump*……………
Fear…
…please……help……help…
…anyone…
‘Where am I?’
Lost. Away. Alone. In this strange world. Walking steadily, along the open path ahead, surrounded by jungle all around her.
Ahsoka couldn’t recognize this place. And yet, her body just kept moving. Not in a hurry. Just walking silently. Drawn towards… something ahead.
She could hear the the constant buzzing of wild life, all around her. And the roars of beasts, fighting each other.
‘What?… Where?…’
Continuing… walking… walking…
She caught glimpse of the beasts around her from time to time. The fought each other. They ate each other. They mutated… every time a beast ate another, it changed. Grew. Changed form. One grew another arm… another a longer jaw… a third began to spit acid…
She wanted so badly to turn and run away. Maybe find a hidden corner, and find solace in the Force.
But she couldn’t, just kept walking.
What was this place?!
And then it came to her, deep within…
… Zerus…
The name, if it was a name, made no sense. She couldn’t place it.
Continued walking… walking…
“You have come to this place, seeking power…” a deep, dark voice rumbled inside her head.
‘Who was that?!’ she thought, as she felt a chill run down her spine at listening to this deep voice, speaking to her.
“The power is more ancient even than I. It comes at great cost. What will you sacrifice to have your revenge?”
‘Revenge?! But, why- no, I need to get away!’
“You must feel the power. It calls to you. Go to it.”
She wanted to object. She wanted to stop. But her body had a will of its own.
‘Turn around!… Turn around…’ she begged, but it didn’t listen to her.
Eventually she reached a hill. Her destination, she could feel it.
“You are close,” the voice spoke, “The moment draws near. Is your hate still strong enough to make the necessary sacrifice?”
‘Hate?! I’m a Jedi! Peace, not passion! Peace, not passion!’
And there she stood. At the top of the hill, she beheld a large green pool with… a lot.
Bones. Spikes. Tentacles. The pool itself blinked with many small greenish lights everywhere. Organisms, constantly changing?
“The first spawning pool. It existed before names. From this primordial place, the zerg arose.”
‘The zerg? Why am I even here?’
Her feet started moving again.
‘No stop!’ she begged, as her legs waded out into the pool.
“Within, one essence split into many. One devoured another and became stronger. The first zerg.”
There was a pause, before the voice continued.
“You will have your power, and you will lose yourself. Evolve. Transform. Transcend.”
She reached to the middle of the pool.
‘No, stop! Anakin! Padmé! Anyone! Help!’
But to no avail. No one heard her cry for help. No one was there to stop her. She just remained there, until flesh rose up from the pool and engulfed her.
‘Help… me…’
*Thump*……………
…darkness…static…
…what…what is… that… what is…
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…noise…war…screams…
…I…I… can’t… can’t… I…
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…noise…screams…war…battle…death…
…I…help…no…I…I…
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…seeing battle – deaths – screams – war – armies – deaths – screams…
…no…help…I…I…
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…noise – shots – bombs – agony – deaths – screams…
…Anakin, help me! Help!…
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…SEEING DEATHS – WOUNDS – AGONY – BLOOD – SCREAMS – BOMBS…
…Please, stop it! Stop it! Help!…
*Thump*……………
…SEEING DEATHS – WOUNDS – AGONY – BLOOD – SCREAMS – BOMBS…
…Anakin! Padmé! Louise! Anyone!! Help!!…
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……darkness…………
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…voices……
“Corruption is what happens………….puts their own personal gain before…………. of the people they represent”………………
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…her own voice……
“Eh, it had its moments.”……
*Thump*……………
“Huh, like the one where you convinced untrained children to help you overthrow a corrupt government?”……
…his voice……
*Thump*……………
“That was a highlight.”……
“You’ll learn to play in time, Ahsoka,” Padmé smiled, as they spent time playing that strategic game of cute small monsters in that corner of the Nubian ship. Except that Ahsoka was not in a good mood.
She had just pulled up her legs up to her chest, and held around them.
“Someday, you’ll even beat me.”
Ahsoka scoffed a little.
“It’s not that,” the young togruta replied.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I’ve been mostly unsure about my abilities on my own,” she explained, “Usually Master Skywalker is there to guide me.”
“When I was queen, I felt the same insecurities as you do now,” Padmé told her, and sat over by the younger girl.
“I had my advisors, but it was ultimately up to me to run the entire Naboo system. And I was very afraid at times.”
"Really? You felt unsure?” Ahsoka queried.
“Oh, yes,” the senator chuckled.
“But I’ve learned to trust in myself, and you will too.”
“Thank you.”
Ahsoka smiled at her.
“One more game?” she asked.
“Absolutely.”
*Thump*……………
…P…Padmé……
*Thump*……………
……H…Help………me……
They made it back… Thank the Force, they made it back!
Ahsoka had never been happier (and ironically dirtier) to see the Jedi Temple than today. After their transport landed at the platform, the Wookies delivered her, Jinx and O-Mer back to the Jedi.
Jedi Masters Yoda and Windu spoke with the Wookie general Tarfful, expressing their gratitude, while the other two Padawans were joyfully reunited with their masters.
Ahsoka was speaking with Chewbacca, when he heard her Master call out to her: “Ahsoka!”
She turned and beamed as she saw Anakin, followed by Master Plo Koon. As they met face to face, Anakin laid his hands on her shoulder, relieved to see her alive and well, while she grabbed his arm, returning the gesture.
“It’s good to see you safe, little ‘Soka’” Plo greeted her, before stepping aside.
“Ahsoka, I am so sorry,” Anakin spoke with regret.
“For what?” Ahsoka queried.
“For letting you go. For letting you get taken. It was my fault,” he pointed at himself.
“No, Master,” Ahsoka tried to reassure him, “it wasn’t your fault.”
“I should’ve paid more attention. I should have tried harder. I…”
“You already did everything you could, everything you had to do,” Ahsoka pointed out.
“When I was out there, alone…” she said, stepping aside, looking at the ground as she thought through it all, “all I had was your training and the lessons you taught me.”
“And because of you,” she looked at him again, “I did survive. And not only that, I was able to lead others to survive as well.”
“I don’t know what to say,” her Master spoke, feeling humbled by her words.
“I do,” Ahsoka smiled at him, before making the Jedi greeting.
“Thank you, Master,” she bowed.
Anakin smiled in gratitude, and returned the gesture. “You’re welcome, my Padawan.”
General Tarfful and the Wookies growled their language as they finished their exchange with the Jedi Masters, and began to leave. Ahsoka and Anakin turned towards the open gate.
Master Yoda watched as they entered, relieved to see the good outcome for Padawan Tano and the other two. Sadly though, others had died at the hands of the Trandoshan hunters. Not everyone would return to the temple. Kalifa’s death was a terrible loss.
Help… me…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
…why am I……am I…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
…it’s…burning……hurts……help……help…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
“Petro, Ganodi, Byph, Katooni, Zatt, and Gungi,”………
…faces……barely visible………
*Thump*………*Thump*………
“Where we are going, there is no place more sacred than to the Jedi”………
…faces far away………into the void……
*Thump*………*Thump*………
………young faces…………………
“Remember, quiet your mind, and concentrate”………
*Thump*………*Thump*………
……Y………Young………
*Thump*………*Thump*………
……Young……lings…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
……are…………they…………
*Thump*………*Thump*………
……are………are………
*Thump*………*Thump*………
……they…………
*Thump*………*Thump*………
……are…………
*Thump*………*Thump*………
…………………
She gasped slightly, when she saw who came entering into her death row cell.
“Master Ti? But…”
If Master Shaak Ti was here, did that mean…?
Ahsoka brightened up, daring to feel hope.
“Did Anak- Master Skywalker find Ventress?” she asked, standing up, not able to sit still.
‘Oh please, let it be good news!’
The scowl from Master Ti, however, shut her down.
“It will not do you well to continue lying, Tano,” the Jedi Master replied sternly.
Ahsoka felt ice cold inside, and the world threatened to spin around once again.
“Sit down, Tano”, Shaak Ti said, gesturing towards the bunk bed.
And in her daze, the teenager did so.
“Ahsoka Tano,” the Jedi master began, attempting a more… diplomatic… behavior.
“You will not be among us for much longer now. Soon, you will become one with the Force. For the sake of the victims’ families, and your own as well, I believe it is important that you confess to your crimes.”
The former Padawan was stunned. Her mouth felt dry, yet she couldn’t open it.
“It is important that you make peace with yourself, and with the Force, these final hours of your life.”
Master Ti had attempt a gentle tone, as much as she could. Not that it succeeded, since the younger teenager was too much in disbelief to even comprehend anymore.
Shaak held out a datapad.
“I urge you, sign it. Make peace with yourself, and the Force.”
“Y… You have to… believe me,” Ahsoka croaked.
“No one believes you, Tano,” the Jedi Master again scowled at her, “Not anymore.”
No…one…believes…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
…agony……
Please……make… it… stop!…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
Please……make… it… stop!…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
…agony……burning sensation……
…why am I……am I…
*Thump*………*Thump*………
…agony……burning sensation……pain……
…it’s…burning……hurts……help……help…
Desperate to get away from the clone troopers hunting her, knowing she had to clear her name somehow, Ahsoka ran all she could through the pipe network, taking random turns now and then, trying to shake off her pursuers.
Eventually, she reached what appeared to be a dead end: The docking entrance to Coruscant’s lower levels, filled with ships traveling upwards and downwards. A suicidal drop from here, for most people.
Panting as she looked around, trying to think of her next move, Anakin called her out from behind.
“Ahsoka, what are you doing?”
“You didn’t even try to come and help me,” she accused him.
“They wouldn't let me in to talk to you,” he shouted back.
“You could have, if you tried!”
“How would that look, Ahsoka, huh?” he retorted, “Forcing my way in would’ve made you look even more guilty.”
“I’m not guilty!” she exclaimed.
“Then we have to prove you’re innocent. The only way we can do that is by going back.”
“I don’t know who to trust!”
“Listen,” he tried to persuade her, “I would never let anyone hurt you, Ahsoka, never. But you need to come back and make your case to the Council.”
“No!” she refused, “I’m not going to take the fall for something I didn’t do!”
“I am ordering you to put down your lightsaber and come with me, now!” Anakin exclaimed.
“You can trust me,” he pleaded.
“General Skywalker, were are you?” a clone trooper shouted from within the pipe network.
“I do trust you,” she said, “but you know as well as I do that no one else will believe me.”
A transport ship had just passed down the pipe opening, catching her attention.
“Anakin,” she said, with a pained look, “you have to trust me now.”
“Ahsoka, I do trust you,” he exclaimed at her.
“I know you do,” she held up her hand, “Wish me luck.”
They gave each other a final look, and then she leapt.
…agony……burning sensation……pain……
Please…make…it…stop…
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…agony……burning sensation……never-ending pain……
It…burns…burns…
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Pleaaasee… maaake…it…stoooop!!…
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…agony……burning sensation……never-ending pain……
It…buuurns… it……buuuuuuuurns!!…
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Pleeaase!……Pleeaase!…….Pleeaase!……
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…agony……burning sensation……never-ending pain……
Stoooooooop……
Don’t give up.
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Pleeaase!……Pleeaase!…….Huurtiing…
Fear not.
*Thump*……*Thump*……
It is not the end. It is only the beginning.
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Afterlife…………sucks!……
Save your strength, and rest. You will need it soon.
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Rest… yes… I… would… like……to………rest……
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…to……………rest……
Cling onto life
Shaak Ti did not get any confession from her that night. As soon as the Jedi Master had turned and left her cell, Ahsoka staggered over to the corner. The one that felt like furthest from the door, trying to find every ounce of safety as she could, even if only imaginary.
The young togruta slowly let herself slide down along the wall, and hugged her own knees.
‘They… They have abandoned me…’
Well, it was obvious already at their trial at the temple...
“It is the council’s opinion that Padawan Ahsoka Tano has committed sedition against the Republic, and thus, she will be expelled from the Jedi Order”
“Your Padawan status will be stripped from you, and you shall forfeit all rank and privileges…”
And yet, somehow Shaak Ti made it dawn upon her the reality of what was happening. This was not a nightmare, it was real!
‘They have abandoned me…’
She sniffled, not paying any heed to the tears that ran down her legs.
‘They… They have cast me out...’
‘I fought so hard for them… for the Republic… so… why?…’
*Thump*……*Thump*……
……fought……Repub……. so… why….
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Why….
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Why….
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Abandoned…me……
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Abandoned…me……
A shallow sea, as far as her eyes could see. No land, just water everywhere that reached up to her calves.
No sense of where to go. Knowing nothing. So she just walked. And walked. And walked. Hearing nothing but the splash of water between her legs.
A slight growl came from behind, along with splashing water.
Ahsoka turned around quickly, to see a zergling following her, wading in the water.
‘Zerg!’
She reached for her lightsabers, only to find them missing. Gone. The togruta then stretched out her arms, attempting to toss the zergling back with the Force. But the Force did not respond. She felt nothing…
‘Oh no, this isn’t good,’ she thought.
Another splash to her side, and she looked over to see another zergling. Then another popped up from the water. And another one. And another one.
‘Bad, very bad!’ she thought frantically.
They rose of from the water, now other creatures as well. Hydralisks. Some sort of turtle-creature armed with short scythes sticking up into the air in front of its head, making a gurgling sound.
Swarm Queens. Drones.
Some bloated creatures bigger than zerglings, with sacks full of green liquid. Even gargantuan quadrupedal beasts with their two pairs of enormous scythe arms.
She was surrounded, and they just kept multiplying. The endless sea of water was turning into an endless sea of zerg.
“Help!” she shouted, “Anyone, help!”
The mass of creatures closed up on her, all moving in a circle around her. Hissing. Growling. Squealing at her. The closest ones began to stretch out their limbs, wanting to touch at her.
Ahsoka looked frantically around in dread, but there was no rescue. Not in the beastly crowd, or in the air above.
No Anakin. No one.
“Help,” she whispered, before crouching down into a fetal position, hoping the pain would be over in an instant.
Not…zerg…not…zerg…not…zerg…
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Help…
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Fear not
She sat in the cell corner, hugging her legs tightly to her chest.
‘I’m going to die… I’m going to die… I’m going to die…’
Her panting increased.
Thinking about it wouldn’t help.
‘No! Anakin! Anakin! He will make it! He will save me! He will find Ventress!’
*Huff...* *Puff… *Huff…!* *Puff…!* *Huff!* *Puff!*
Clutching around her legs, for dear life.
*Huff!* *Puff!* *Huff!* *Puff!* *Huff!* *Puff!*
‘Help me!’
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…Help……me……help……me……
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…I’m……going……to……die……
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…Anakin……Help……me……help……me……
‘Anakin!… Force… anything… please…’
She lied there, wheezing, dizzy at the corner, before she came back to herself again. She…… had she panicked? Something about… breathing too hard… becoming light-headed, the world span around… up-side down… or something…
How long had she been laying there?
Slowly sitting up, Ahsoka grit her teeth a little as the force binders on her hands gnawed at her skin, restricting her arm movements.
No matter, it wouldn’t make much difference now. All Ahsoka could do, was to sit there, in that eerie silence. Either stare at that dark gray miserable wall. Or at the red ray shield. Just do nothing, but to count down of how long-
“If you were given a chance at living, would you take it?” she heard a deep voice speak to her.
Ahsoka snapped her head up, and found herself in complete darkness.
‘Who- what?!’ she thought, before getting herself up, and realizing that her hands were free, the force binders were gone.
‘Where am I?’
“If you were given a chance at living, would you take it?” the voice asked again, “No matter the cost?”
Deep, yet it sounded feminine.
“Where are you?” Ahsoka called out, looking around, not seeing anything.
“Who are you?”
Silence…
Then…
“Ahsoka Tano, I ask you again: If you were given a chance at living, would you take it? No matter the cost?”
“At living…” Ahsoka repeated the words.
“What do you mean, ‘No matter the cost’? What cost?” she called back, into the darkness.
Somewhere in those shadows, she caught a glimpse of a… shape?
“What would you give to survive?” the voice asked.
While the voice felt like everywhere, it somehow came from this figure in the darkness.
“What price would you pay?”
“Price?” Ahsoka replied. “What do you mean?”
“How far are you willing to go, to live? What would you give, to have purpose once more?”
‘What price?!’ she thought.
‘What more can I give?… What more can I give? I gave everything! Fought for them! And now there is nothing anymore, they have cast me out! They are going to execute me, for something I haven’t done!’
‘But Master… Anakin… He will save me as always!…’
‘……’
‘Won’t he?…’
‘What if… he fails?’
‘No! He will make it! He’s got to!’
The voice called to her again.
“If you were given a chance at living, would you take-”
“YES!” Ahsoka nearly screamed out to the darkness ahead of her.
“Yes, I would take it!”
Force, everything was falling apart, all around her! She fought so hard, and now, everything…
Somehow, the figure drew itself closer to her. There was a slight purple haze to it. To her? It was a her, right? And… something about her terrified Ahsoka. Deep down, she knew, somehow… that whoever this is, she was not to be trifled with.
The figure gazed upon Ahsoka. Studying her? Weighing her answer? After a silence that felt forever, she finally spoke.
“I must warn you,” she said sternly.
“There is no way back. Should you survive, you will never be the same. You will live again. You will have purpose. But you will be forever changed. Your life as a Jedi is over. You can never return to it. Things can never go back to the way they were.”
“I’m about to die, anyway!” Ahsoka snapped back at her. “So yes, you’re right: My life as a Jedi is over!”
The figure considered her once more.
“Then listen carefully,” she warned.
“Cling onto life!”
Ahsoka merely stared at her, the words made no sense.
“Do you understand?” the figure continued.
“Cling onto life!”
Ahsoka woke with a gasp, and she found herself sitting at that corner, inside the gray cell. The force binders were still cuffed to her hands.
A vision?
But…
‘How is this possible?’ she wondered, staring at her force binders.
Possible? It wasn’t…
And yet, something lingered in the depths of her mind…
Cling onto life...
*Thump*……*Thump*……
Cling onto life.
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…what……does……it……mean……
*Thump*……*Thump*……
They were all around her. They were all in front of her.
Multitudes upon multitudes.
Numberless.
Zerg, everywhere, as far as the eye could see. Ahsoka saw no escape.
And she stood in front of them all. A purple glow. Humanoid. Strange hair. Bone-wings. Energy flowing and cracking around her.
“The Swarm welcomes you,” she declared, with an echoed voice booming all around them.
“No…” Ahsoka whispered, and stepped backwards, shaking her head.
“You are safe among us. No harm shall befall you.”
“No… I can’t!… Stay back!…”
“Who… Who are you?…”
“Seen her, you have. Yes, seen… the Queen of Blades,” a memory called out to her.
“I am the Swarm!”
*Thump*……*Thump*……
“Seen her, you have. Yes, seen… the Queen of Blades.”
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…the…Queen…of…Blades?…
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…stay……back………
*Thump*……*Thump*……
…can’t……………
Resting was impossible. The bunk bed was uncomfortable. And even if it had been a luxury bed in a super expensive hotel suite, she could bet that she wouldn’t get any rest.
Not with her life at stake.
Too many questions jumbling around inside her head, so much fear pulsing through her chest and stomach. Trying to keep a steady breath was difficult.
So, she was going to die, but when? How? How long time did she have? Would Anakin make it? How much time could Padmé buy them? How long could she stall it?
‘Have faith in them, they will make it’
‘But what if they don’t?!’
‘They will… they have to…’
‘But what if…’
Cling onto life…
Force… how long time has it been? It must have been hours now since…
Footsteps. Ahsoka looked towards the ray shields as her montrals picked up the sound of incoming people.
‘Please, let it be good news’
‘Please, let it be Anakin’
Mace Windu showed up at the ray shield, accompanied with clone troopers.
‘No… not you! Not you!’ she dreaded.
*Thump* *Thump* *Thump*
…not you…not…you…
Twitching in the darkness…
*Thump* *Thump* *Thump*
…please…not…you…
“Ahsoka Tano,” Mace Windu spoke slowly, appearing to weigh his words carefully as the guard deactivated the ray shield.
“The time has come.”
‘T-The time has…?!’ her mind froze.
‘No…’
One of the clone troopers came towards her.
“No… M-Master! I didn’t to it! You have to believe me!” she pleaded.
“Your lies will get you nowhere,” Windu frowned back at her.
“But Master, please, I-”
“Word of advice, kid: drop it”, the clone trooper interrupted her, as he grabbed her shoulder and shoved her in front of himself.
‘No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-’
‘Anakin, help me!’
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
Anakin… help me!…
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
Twitching in the darkness. Shaking. Gritting. Fear.
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
‘Why me…’ Ahsoka despaired, as the clone troopers led her along the hallway, with Mace Windu walking in front of them.
“Why?!” she yelled out, at particularly no-one, before freezing in her tracks, having realized that her thoughts came out loud.
Windu silently stared at her over his shoulder, meeting her eyes with an ice-cold gaze of his own.
“That is for you to answer, Tano. Not us,” he replied, before resuming the walk.
One of the troopers shoved her onwards.
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
Why……Why……Why……Why……
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
Twitching in the darkness…
A wide room, yet still somberly gray. Four more clone troopers standing at attention, with their long blaster rifles held at their sides.
And Wilhuff Tarkin… Tarkin!… of all people, standing there at attention as well. Mace Windu himself and one of the troopers placed her in front of them, closer to the wall.
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
Oh her heart, it felt like it would burst itself out of her chest!
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
“Ahsoka Tano,” Captain Tarkin spoke stoically, while conveying his disdain for her through his eyes.
“You have been sentenced to the penalty of death.”
He smugly allowed some time for that to sink in deeper, before he continued.
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
Force, she shivered, she was so afraid…
“The penalty shall be carried out by our firing squad, as they will end your life using lethal shots.”
The dread forced itself through her chest, and her panicked breathing increased. Trying her best to force it all back down, to no avail.
*Huff!* *Puff!* *Huff!* *Puff!*
Shivering. Shaking. Biting her teeth beneath the lips, so she wouldn’t clatter.
‘Anakin… Please help!’
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
Cling onto life...
She cast a glance at the door, hoping that somehow… her master would come barging through the door the very last last minute, with Ventress in tow. Just like he has done plenty of times before!
‘Anakin… Please! Anakin! Anakin! Help!’
*Thump-Thump-Thump*
“And Jedi Master Windu has volunteered to aid in your execution. You shall be impaled from behind, by his lightsaber.”
“What?…” Ahsoka peeked over her shoulder, at Windu, who kept a neutral look, before looking frantically between him, Tarkin and the execution squad.
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
‘Anakin, help!!’
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
Help me… Anakin… help me…
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
Shaking, twitching, in the dark… held by the darkness… help by the deep slumber…
Trying to shake free, but to no avail…
Cling onto life.
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
She was going to die! She was going to die! Anakin wouldn’t make it! He would not come! She was going to die! She was going to kriffing die!!!
‘Anakin!’
Breathing faster and faster. The fear running rampant in her veins.
“Ready!” Tarkin ordered, watching the four clone troopers lifting their long blaster rifles.
She heard Windu ignite his lightsaber behind her.
*HUFF!* *PUFF!* *HUFF!* *PUFF!*
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
Cling onto life.
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
Anakin!… Anakin!… Anakin!…
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
“Aim!”
All four clone troopers aimed their long blasters at her.
Windu put himself in ready position behind her, and grabbed her left shoulder.
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
Cling onto life!
Ahsoka cast a final glance at the door.
‘Anakin, I’m so sorry! I failed you!’ she cried, letting her tears fall.
Her final glance ended on Tarkin, who looked at her with satisfaction, savoring the moment.
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP*
Cling onto life!
Cling onto life!
Cling onto life!!
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
“Fire!”
Ahsoka jolted as searing burns penetrated her body, with the most burning sensation through her stomach. Not even able to gasp, her head tipped forward, seeing the purple lightsaber protruding out of her abdomen.
‘ANAKIIIIIIN!…………’
…
…
…
…
….. thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THU-*
*- UMP- THUMP-THUMP-THUMP!!!*
“GHHH!!”
With a deep gasp, she found herself engulfed in darkness.
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP- THUMP!!!*
‘NO! Get me out! Get me out! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT!!!’ she mentally screamed, as she desperately shook to free herself from the bonds holding her at her back, while thrashing inside this confined space, all filled by fluid. In her desperation, she thrust her hands out and pushed outwards with all of her being!
*THUMP-THUMP-THUMP- THUMP!!!*
A loud crack sounded all around her, before the darkness gave away and all the walls engulfing her launched out in all direction. As all the fluid gave away to reveal the air, she staggered, unable to keep her balance, and fell over.
It might have been a second, though it felt much longer, before her journey through space ended up in the unending sea.
…
But this was not the unending sea. Far from it. She felt a deep need to survive kicking in, and she pushed herself above the liquid, and gasped for air.
‘Wha… What…’ she panted.
They were everywhere. She felt it. But did not understand. Unable to comprehend. Disoriented. Confused.
‘Where am I?! What is going on?! What is happening?!’
As she begun to get the bearings around her, she felt her panic rising again as she recognized the horde of creatures surrounding her.
The Zerg!
Scores of them. Multitudes upon multitudes. She was surrounded, with no hope of escape!
Masses of zerglings! Hydralisks! All hissing towards her. Not with malice, but with… glee? Affection? Delight? Mutalisks soaring through the air, screeching triumphantly as they passed by. And so many more, creatures she had never seen before. Of all sizes, small, large, huge, including a few of the gargantuan beasts she had seen in… that vision…
The closest packs of zerg slowly moved towards her, squealing with glee as they gazed longingly at her.
“No! Stay back!” she yelled in fear, instinctively putting up her hand to shield herself from the monster horde she saw.
Nothing… Nothing in her entire life, could have prepared her for what she now saw.
‘My- My hand!……What’s happened to my hand?…’
Horrified she stared at sharp claws, sprouting from her fingertips. And carapace covering her upper arm… Thick, leathery, light-teal skin reaching up to her shoulder.
“No…” she shuddered.
Her upper body, now cowered with the same carapace and teal-colored skin.
“No… No…”
The dread exploded inside her, as she breathed faster and faster in panic, nearing hyperventilation.
‘This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening! This can’t be happening!’
‘Oh please, tell me it’s only a nightmare!’
“Ahsoka Tano, arise!” a powerful voice echoed its firm command through the entire Swarm, and its mighty presence washed over the multitude of creatures all around her. It washed over her very being, cleansing away all fear, that just a moment ago threatened to consume her.
She was left in a daze, only vaguely aware that the zerg crowd in front her now moved aside, leaving a corridor in their midst for her to pass through. And there, on the other end, at the shore, there she stood.
The gloriousness of her Majesty. The might of her power. The radiance of her presence.
“Come forward,” she called out.
Ahsoka stepped slowly ahead, too dazed to understand anything. Not noticing the pool she was wading through, reaching up to her knees. Not taking in the multitudes of zerg surrounding her, watching with glee and joy as she and their Majesty would be united. She was just drawn. Drawn slowly and gently towards the glorious presence, bidding her to come.
Slowly but surely, she reached the shore, and stood there, staring at her Majesty, deeply transfixed by it all. And yet, as by a command, something let go inside her, and Ahsoka slowly came back to her own senses, blinking her eyes as she ‘woke up’.
“What… What is happening?” she murmured, before looking around.
And once again, her fear began seizing her. She was surrounded by zerg. They were everywhere. Hive structures all around her. They stood at the shore of a large pool, where a short rocky pillar rose from its middle. Its top had the remnants of a chrysalis, the one she had blown up from the inside, before falling over and down into the liquid. From where she had waded to the shore.
She looked down on her clawed hands, with her eyes fixed on them, not able to look away again.
“What is happening to me,” she quavered.
“Peace, Ahsoka,” the Queen spoke gently, as she turned the frightened teenager’s attention back onto her.
“You’re safe among us. No harm shall befall you here.”
“Why?… How?… When?” Ahsoka choked.
The Queen gazed away a little, with a small frown, preparing for what now came next.
“What is the last thing you remember?” she asked.
“Last thing… I remember?”
Ahsoka franticly searched her memory, opening a flood gate of pain.
“Ahsoka Tano. By an overwhelming count of”…
“… have found you guilty of all the crimes you have been accused of…”
“… you are hereby sentenced to death.”
“No…” she anxiously quavered.
“…and thus, she will be expelled from the Jedi Order”
“For the sake of the victim’s families, and your own as well, I believe it is important that you confess to your crimes.”
“No…” she clutched her head.
The livid memories.
“Ready”… “Aim”……… “Fire!”
…searing burns penetrated her body… most burning sensation through her stomach. …head tipped forward, seeing the purple lightsaber protruding out of her abdomen.
“No!” her tears spilled out.
Her fear going in circles. The rescue that never came. The burning lightsaber through her abdomen. Abandonment. Left to die. Rejected by those she fought with. Fought for!
“No…” she sobbed, while feeling the world spin more and more hold.
What was it all for…
“No…”
They didn’t believe her…
“No…”
They cast her out… they rejected her… they killed her…
Pain spreading. Lump in her throat ever so big. A hurting sensation all over her body. Her life snuffed out, to nothing. All taken away from her. Her friends. Her family. Her life. Herself.
She couldn’t take it… take it anymore…
At last, her legs gave away. Yet fall over she did not, for the Queen had already embraced the weeping togruta, giving all comfort she could, shielding her from the Swarm’s presence. And as Ahsoka was too numbed by her inner pain and turmoil, not comprehending what happened around her anymore, the Queen of Blades gently lifted the broken teenager into her arms, and slowly carried her towards the nearby Hive Palace. All under the gaze of the Swarm, that silently eyed their Queen and their newly awoken kin, the one whom they had longed for. So broken. So precious.
Coruscant, 500 Republica
Moments earlier
“AHSOKA!!” Anakin all but screamed as he tossed himself up from the bed. Padmé woke up startled, only to find her husband frantically pacing around. Panicked, mumbling to himself.
“Anakin!” she called out to him, but he had already disappeared out the door. The senator quickly got out of her bed and hastily threw on her night gown. She found him staggering around in the living room, still mumbling and shaking.
“Anakin!” she grabbed onto him. She put her hands onto his frightened face, and turned his attention to her.
“Look at me, Anakin,” she spoke slowly, and clearly, “Look at me!”
‘Force, his face is all wet!’
“Anakin, it’s okay. You are on Coruscant. Everything is okay,” she tried to guide him.
“It’s Ahsoka!” his voice cracked in despair, “She’s in so much pain!”
‘What?! That’s impos-’
“She’s hurt. Confused. Afraid. Oh, she’s so afraid. So……alone…”
“Anakin,” Padmé spoke slowly to her husband, trying to reach through.
“It was a dream. It. Was. A. Dream.”
Anakin seemed to calm down a little.
“She’s dead, Anakin,” she continued, looking into his eyes, “She’s dead. You only had a dream.”
She pursed her own lips.
“It’s been…” her voice cracked as well, as that lump in her throat swelled beyond her control. Her walls came crashing down. Again.
“It’s been two months. Two months since she was taken away from us,” she cried.
Anakin embraced his tearful wife.
“I miss her, Padmé. I miss her… so much…” he sobbed onto her shoulder.
“I know,” she hiccuped, “So do I…”
She lost her remaining strength to speak.
The senator and the Jedi Knight remained in each others embrace, loosing track of time as they gave whatever comfort they could to ease their pain, for their dearly beloved friend, sister, family.
The one whom they loved. Whom was taken away from them…