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You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Summary:

You are going to wish Aizawa says the title...

Four vigilantes, a small group trying to restore peace where the heroes have missed. Four unexpected tales to be told.

Two heroes who have the misfortune of trying to wrangle them all

This is an AU of my ocs not the og story.

I do not consent for my work to be scrapped for AI testing or training even with how bad it is.
ALSO CAN BE FOUND ON WATTPAD (Yes, I started posting there... I know, not the best choice..)

Chapter 1: Who?

Notes:

I am slowly doing revisions on the story on Wattpad. I'll try to post a chapter a month depending on how busy I am. I do apologize for anything that seems pit of order. Add a comment calling it out I'll happily fix it. Since it's like 4 chapters (On Wattpad) in one chapter (On Ao3) it may have somethings seems off or a small timely jump. I do apologize again.

Please enjoy reading this chaotic story!

Chapter Text

Commotion was heard during the night at a gas station that resided in Musutafu, Japan.

Eraserhead, also known as Shouta Aizawa appeared as soon as he heard the ruckus from his usual route. When he arrived perched on street light. He was about to intervene until a group of four vigilantes appear.

He has heard there were new vigilantes coming up but four working together... What was this.. a gang? He thought.

One had a black cat mask, white eyes painted on them. The cat masked vigilante has pale skin, long ratty brown hair, black clothing on. Long baggy pants and a crop top, long fingerless gloves. The vigilante had a secondary mask below it covering the rest of their face, just their nose and mouth

Another had a fox mask with black eyes. The fox masked vigilante has long yellow neatly combed hair, tan skin, dark green hoodie and sweatpants, a belt with a holster on it. This one was short comparatively to the other three.

The next one which was the second tallest comparatively to the other three, the black cat masked one was the tallest by about 15 centimeters... This one had a white bunny mask with black eyes. Long black hair with pink-ish bangs framed their body and mask. A desaturated green sleeveless hoodie and sweatpants. They were not that pale comparatively to the others.

The last vigilante that was spotted by Eraserhead was one with long dark brown almost black curly hair, a brown bear mask with black eyes, brown skin, cat ears and tail. Dark blue clothing, a hoodie and shorts that go to mid-thigh.

There was a robbery that was taken place and those vigilantes intercepted it quite quickly too... They have been doing this for a while and that was prevalent. They all worked in unison, like a well-oiled machine.

The bunny masked vigilante grew vines out of their body and blocks off the villain's way out and keeping any bystander at a safe distance. The one with the brown bear mask kept a look out, their cat ears twitching and moving at each sound, making sure no ambush was coming. The fox and cat masked vigilantes did the fighting.

The villain was confused on how fast they were going.

The cat masked vigilante seemed to have some sort of quirk that could do so much at a time it was almost overwhelming to even watch. While the fox masked vigilante had their sword out and some sort of small bomb using it to push the villain and to harm them.

The civilians watch nearby, some with phones out to record the fight. Some cheering on the vigilantes. Some stood in shock. Some ran away in fear of their safety. As the crowd cheered the vigilantes fought the villain. Soon enough the battle came to a close... or that's what Eraserhead thought.

The cat masked vigilante hits the villain- well.. They swat the villain just like the villain was some sort of bug.. The villain went flying towards a building.. It was like the villain weighed nothing to the cat masked vigilante. As the villain went flying a small child ran through the crowd getting through the vines. The kid was a slippery fellow, Eraserhead had to admit that. The bunny vigilante didn't catch them in time... The villain skids and bounces off the ground going towards the child. The vigilantes froze.

Eraserhead sees this from his perch and uses his quirk on the villain to disable his quirk and uses the binding scarf to catch the villain and stop it from hitting the defenseless child. He quickly jumps off the lamp post and uses the momentum as a pully system to launch the villain into the air and then slamming him into the ground somewhere else.

When Eraserhead looks at where the child was, it was gone, blood smeared on the ground in like skid marks. The cat masked vigilante wasn't in their original place. They were with the child. They were holding onto the child protecting them with their body, covering the child's eyes from the villain. The vigilante's arms covered the child protectively, practically shoving the child into their chest.

The fox masked vigilante looked at the hero in surprise but respectful. This vigilante had a smile that never left their face, it was so bright but it lacked this purity that many other smiles had.. but it was friendly.

The bunny masked vigilante looks over at the hero too but this one was smirking.

The bear masked vigilante's ears perked up and their tail stood straight looking at the hero with some relief but also unease.

The cat masked vigilante, picks up the kid and quickly runs the kid over back to the crowd handing it back to the child's parents who seemed worried sick. The vines retract into the bunny masked vigilante's body making a clear path.

The bunny masked vigilante quickly goes into the shadows along with the bear masked one. The fox masked one quickly follows suit and the cat masked one quickly b-lines for the shadows too.

Eraserhead uses his scarf to warp around the villain securely and waits for the police to arrive.

As if clock work police sirens could be heard arriving at the scene. One steps out of the car and nods at Eraserhead, respect. They take the villains off his hands. Eraserhead looks at the shadows where the vigilantes ran off to.

Two white eyes stared back at him... He wasn't seeing things right? It was hard to see and sleep deprivation could be creeping on him but he swore he saw a pair of eyes staring deep into his soul.... He looks at the villain and where the vigilante slid. Blood was gone. No evidence left behind.

As quickly as the police came they left after asking Eraserhead a few questions.

The police leaves with the villain as Eraserhead makes a move to go back onto patrol... But wasn't he going back on his usual route.. Not after that. He slinks into the shadows and makes a couple of different turns to go towards where he thinks where the vigilantes would have gone. He uses his capture scarf to get through the alleys quickly and quietly. He eventually hears a group of people talking....

The moonlight didn't illuminate anything much. Just the garbage cans, dumpsters and the occasional graffiti. Nobody would suspect people at this time just chatting....Eraserhead swings above landing onto a fire escape with a quiet clank from the metal. He looks down into the alley way below. He didn't see anyone, the chatting stopped but he did see movement for a brief second... Was he hallucinating....? The doubt boils in his mind but he brushes it aside for now.

There was a high pitched ticking noise behind the sleep deprived hero, he immediately turns around and there was this small black ball thrown at him. It explodes. It was a small bomb. He takes a step back, rubbing his eyes. He sees this yellow blob pass by him.. everything was still blurry he uses his capture scarf to hold whatever zoomed past

"Hey!" A high pitched but masculine voice rang out. "Let me go!!!" He thrashed slightly

"huh?" Eraserhead rubbed his eyes again with one hand other holding onto his capture scarf

It was the fox masked vigilante. He was short... around 112 cm (3'8). Taller than one of his shortest students. His blonde hair tied back into a bun a ahoge pointing out from the middle of his head like some antenna.

The vigilante kept thrashing.

"Hey. I am not going to hurt you, kid, calm down" Eraserhead said

"Ok." The fox masked vigilante stops thrashing.

He did that very fast.. Was he this naïve.. this easy to manipulate.. how has he survived this long? Where the other vigilantes. They must be nearby. Eraserhead questions but puts it aside for now and slowly puts the vigilante down.

"Hey. What's your name, kid?" Eraserhead asks

"Zeld." The fox masked vigilante responded

"Ok. Zeld. Where are your friends?" Eraserhead asks

"Right behind you" Zeld says smugly

The cat mask vigilante was not on the fire escape but it was almost like they were sitting on thin air, holding a scythe over their lap. Those white eyes stared deep into his like they knew something. Vines were starting to spread on to the level to grab at Eraserhead's feet. A cat looking animal sits on the building behind the other vigilantes.

"Okay..." Eraserhead says.

"You know using your quirks in a public spaces are illegal without a license, correct?" Eraserhead says

"What you gonna arrest us?" Zeld teases

"Zeld, don't taunt the damn hero..." The cat mask vigilante glared at the blonde boy. Their voice was flat it was deeper than the boy apart of their group.

Eraserhead stays silent not making a move but letting this play out for a couple seconds as he tries to come up with a plan

"But Plague-kun he said he wouldn't!" Zeld says

Plague... So that's her name... Eraserhead grew suspicious of the floating vigilante.

"He said he wouldn't hurt you. Nothing about arresting or hurting the rest of your group.. I know you don't think that far but I know you are smart enough to think some choices through..." Plague groans

"So this is your little gang?" Eraserhead spoke up looking at Plague, seeing her rationality she had to be the leader

"Yeah, what's it you, hero?" Plague mocks quite harshly.

Eraserhead looks Plague up and down seeing how her pants had a rip at the knee and a scrape on it. Blood was running down her leg but she didn't seem to care, it already started clotting. Her pale and lanky build, the way how she sat in thin air... She probably had a quirk that went against gravity or something...

"So I am assuming the other one is down there but there was four of you.. That leaves three where's the fourth, Plague" Eraserhead asks

"Neko, get your furry behind over here..." Plague exasperatedly ordered, her scythe almost begged to be used in her hands.

The cat like creature dashes forward and leaps onto the building that the fire escape that Eraserhead was on. The cat-like creature had these orange and black stripes with white markings, it's ears and tail perked as it's teeth bared, ready to chomp. The cat creature gets behind Zeld. The creature suddenly moves to be bipedal and the right colored aspects fade. It was the bear masked vigilante.. The cat ears and tail stayed prevalant and active... They had some transformation or mutant type quirk...

"There's number four... So I can assume the other is down at the bottom are they going to make their way up here or just going to sit down there..." Eraserhead says.

"Do you really want them to come u-" Plague gets cut off by the last vigilante the one with the bunny mask suddenly flinging themself up from the grounds using their vines and landing on the fire escape with a CLANK.

Plague flinched for a brief moment.

"So this is your little posse?" Eraserhead says

"Sadly" Plague sighs

"Plague-Kunnnn~ You love us!" The bunny masked vigilante says. She had a feminine voice. It was almost jazzy, smooth but high pitched enough to seem kiddish

Plague pinches the bridge of her mask.

"Hydra you are going to give me an aneurism one day..." Plague says

Zeld takes a deep breath about to speak

"Correction all of you will give me an aneurysm" Plague speaks up first

"So it's Hydra.." Eraserhead mumbles to himself

"That's my name don't wear it out!" The bunny masked vigilante says with a smirk

Plague looks annoyed. Zeld was about to speak up again

"Zeld. No more comments for a minute. We can all talk later. This hero is holding us up." Plague says growing suspicious as she eyed the hero that stood on the fire escape.

"You all look young.. How old are you guys?" Eraserhead asks

Plague, Hydra, Zeld, and Neko look at each other

"You wanna guess?" Zeld says cheekily

Eraserhead scans the group of vigilantes

"Lemme rephrase who is the oldest because all of you look below the age of 16 except Plague for some disturbing reason" Eraserhead runs a hand down his face.

Zeld, Hydra and Neko laugh.

"What are you all laughing at?" Eraserhead sighs

"She's the youngest." Zeld chokes out between laughs

"I find that hard to believe" Eraserhead states.

Plague moves, her feet touches the railing of the fire escape and she jumps onto the floor. She was about 168 cm (5'6). She was the tallest comparatively with Neko being 149 cm (4'11) and Hydra 152 cm (5'0) . Plague's scythe still clutched in her hand.

"Really." Eraserhead

"Yes, really.. It's amazing how I, the youngest is the leader and the most rational here... It's annoying" Plague confirms harshly.

"But moving on our ages aren't important. Why don't you go back onto patrol." Plague continues

"Where are you all's damn parents?" Eraserhead ignores Plague's condescension

"That isn't any of your concern..." Plague glared

"What is your concern is what are you going to do to us.. Turn a blind eye or turn us in?" Plague grits her teeth slightly.

Eraserhead realizes he's overstepping in someway. To get them to stop or at least chose a safer option because leaving a group of children to fight crime didn't sit well with him.

"You'll have to go through so much unnecessary paperwork to capture us, hero..." Plague's eyebrow quirks.

"Fine. Keep your secrets" Eraserhead says annoyed at Plague's attitude

"And you are right, I have better things to do." Eraserhead sighs.

"Let's hope our paths don't cross again..." Plague says

Eraserhead starts walking away. He didn't want arrest children. He knows it wont be the last time he sees them. Such an eccentric little group...

"OOO Bye, Mr. Hero!" Zeld calls out waving.

Hydra smirks but it wasn't out of malice. It was friendly in some... disturbing way

Neko smiles slightly her cat fangs showing.

---Soon as Eraserhead was out of earshot Plague spoke up---

"He seems to care more than he should..." Plague mumbles

"What do you actually like that hero?" Zeld says

"Plague-chan's always picky..." Hydra smirks bigger

Plague rolls her eyes.

"Well I'd smash that hero" Hydra says

"Hydra!" Neko says in her soft but articulate tone.

"What~ He's hot" Hydra says

"That's a grown man. You are what 15? Chill out." Plague warns the girl.

"I am not wrong" Hydra continues

"Listen here you poppy graveyard. You. Disgust. Me. " Plague glares at Hydra

"Plague-Chan I'm joking." Hydra could just feel that glare.

Zeld watches laughing his butt off along with Neko.

Aizawa-Yamada Household

As Aizawa opens the door to his shared apartment, his keys jingle as they get put up. He takes off his scarf and goggles hanging them up, kicking off his boots. A familiar voice rings out

"Shoutaaaa, Welcome Back!!" Hizashi's voice rang throughout the apartment.

Aizawa couldn't believe they haven't gotten a noise violation yet

"Quiet down, Hizashi.." Aizawa says

Aizawa goes to slump down onto the couch with a yawn. Hizashi comes out, going to sit on the arm chair

"How was patrol?" Hizashi says with his usual smile. His voice was soft.

His yellow-blonde hair was tied back in a half up half down style and he had his normal glasses on. He wore comfortable clothes, a tank top and sweatpants. His tan skin contrasted with Aizawa's sickly looking skin tone.

"A robbery happened." Aizawa claims

"Oh I saw the news report on it. You took them down right?" Hizashi asks

"Well not exactly, Hizashi. There was this little group of like four vigilantes that go there before me.. And they weakened the robber before I intervened" Aizawa explained

"Oh? New vigilantes?" Hizashi asks

"Yep" Aizawa confirmed dryly

"Did you get their names or aliases at least??" Hizashi asks

"Yeah. It was Plague, Zeld, Hydra, and Neko" Aizawa claims

"Neko has a cat quirk don't they?" Hizashi says more as a statement than a question

"Yep" Aizawa replies again just as dry as last time.

"Do all their aliases have to do with their quirks..? Not sure. That was the only one with the most obvious.." Aizawa yawns as he stretches slightly

"You really didn't question them did you..." Hizashi says with a knowing smirk

"One was a smart ass and had an attitude problem and I am too tired to deal with a child right now..." Aizawa claims

"Well~ A smartass with an attitude problem... That seems to ring a bell for me... Tell me, Sho do you feel how I feel now... Having to deal with smart assery and an attitude all day.." Hizashi teases

Aizawa groans and pulls out his phone looking for anything to drown out the reality.

"Come on, Sho~" Hizashi whines as he moves to practically toss himself on Aizawa's lap looking up at him.

"You are still annoying as ever..." Aizawa says.

"You still love me~" Hizashi teases

Aizawa rolls his eyes and gets up from the couch

"I am going to bed..." Aizawa says going to the bedroom.

He changes out of his hero costume. He puts on his pink sweatpants and black shirt. He glances outside, seeing the dark night sky and the tall buildings nearby. The glowing billboards, the signs the ominous pair of white eyes that shine back at him. Wait- Eyes. He glances back at the scenery seeing the eyes were gone now. He gets into bed hoping for the best. As he stares at the celling he can hear Hizashi humming a song while cleaning up the kitchen. The clock ticks and ticks and ticks. Time seemed to slow down. All he could think about were those white.. glowing eyes of the vigilante's mask.

How could a child be that... flat... so lifeless.. so exhausted of life itself.. The three other vigilantes seemed so full of life, so joyous but something... Something disturbing lurked beneath that...

The one with the black cat mask was too skinny... The skeleton was too prominent through their flesh.

The one with a fox mask had a smile that seemed.. plastically.. Like one of a doll's.

The one with the bunny mask lacked something a child should have...

The one with the bear mask lacked something.... It was too hard to tell

Something was off about all of them... This uncanny group rattled Aizawa.

These thoughts concerned Aizawa, keeping him up.

The door to the bedroom opened and something snuggled up to Aizawa. It was of course Hizashi

"Go to sleep" Hizashi said teasingly but also meant it.

"What does it look like. I am trying." Aizawa says

"Oh come on, Sho~.. What's got you worked up?" Hizashi says

"Is it about the vigilantes~" Hizashi teases

"Hizash-" Aizawa gets cut off

"I am not wrong am I?" Hizashi continued

"..."

"..Yes" Aizawa responded

"Knew it." Hizashi says

"Were both heroes. You can tell me." Hizashi says almost in a begging tone to get his husband to spill the 'tea'

"Fine" Aizawa says

"So a group of four" Aizawa says

"Uh-huh" Hizashi replies

"One of them, Plague if I recall her name... Is she even a her... Her teammates call her Plague-kun a lot..." Aizawa rambled slightly

"Go on" Hizashi lets Aizawa continue

"She seemed to skinny and serious.." Aizawa continues

"Ok..." Hizashi snuggles more into Aizawa

"Zeld was too happy. His smile was big a bright but didn't hold any of that.." Aizawa moves his arms as if trying to look for a word but couldn't catch it.

"Mhm.." Hizashi hums knowing full well what his husband meant.

"Hydra... She didn't hold any innocence... That's all I got to say about her..." Aizawa says

"And Neko... She didn't speak much but I can tell something is wrong.... with all of them.." Aizawa continues

"Alright." Hizashi adds on

"And get this. Plague the serious leader... Is the youngest..." Aizawa says exhaustedly

"Damn. What screwed that kid over..." Hizashi chuckled almost sympathetically

Aizawa yawns

"So yeah.. A bunch of problem children" Aizawa says

"Of course..." Hizashi responds

They both fall into slumber a semi peaceful one but still knowing that kids are doing a hero's job worried them greatly.