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Scar watches as BDubs places the weird grass block on the desk. It doesn't make a very dramatic noise, but it's still cool!
"What is it?" Scar asks, poking it to see if it moves. It's very springy, but that's about it. Makes sense.
BDubs spreads his hands out, weird new smile up to his weird new eyes. "I have no idea! Look like grass, though, don't it?"
Scar nods. "It almost looks like- like those texture pack grasses, right? The all-the-way-down ones?" He lifts it up, just to verify. "Those usually just have the dirt on the bottom, though."
"Ooh, more grass per grass! We should tell the HEP guys- at your discretion, of course, Mr. Mayor."
He smiles, relishing in having one person who respects him. "At my discretion, you say? Well, I discres that we should!" He points a finger in the air. "And that we should see if-" The finger relaxes gradually, slowly folding in on itself. "-it can, like, grow anything."
That meeting of the minds is what leads them outside, just to do a little field testing. They still haven't spoken to HEP, of course- who are they, good leaders? Don't laugh at that one, actually.
Scar places the weird block in the grassiest part of this half of the district- right in a patch of mycelium, just in case it hears his pleas and gets him out of this mess.
Man, he's really convinced that thing's alive, huh? Well, plants are alive- who cares? He's in serious debt, man! This better do something!
"Do you want to do the honors, BDubs, or should I?" Why is he scared? What's it gonna do, take more of his diamonds away?
"Well, you're the mayor..." Not a flat-out no, that's good.
He hands the bone meal over, tucking it into BDubs' hands himself, just to sweeten the deal. "And the mayor entrusts it to you." He straightens back up in his chair, usual facade slipping back in comfortably. "So, what kinda flower do you think it'll make?"
"Hmm..." BDubs tries to look unbothered, too, but he's no Scar. Suddenly, his already lit-up eyes light up. "Ooh! I wanna green one!"
"Any reason?" Scar leans over, trying to determine BDubs' eye color, just in case that was the game they were playing. Still black, alright.
"More green for the shopping district!" God knows they need it. "Now- stand back!"
Scar raises his eyebrows for a second, before just doing what he was asked and wheeling back.
BDubs starts preparing to administer the bone meal, waving his other hand around like he's doing a spell. He closes his eyes, crouched down, before finally placing the damn bone meal in the weird block. The second he does so-
It feels like it's been forever since there's been any actual greenery in this place. But there it is, tendrils cutting through the drab mycelium. Grass and bushes sprout from it- how many bushes are there here?!
Scar and BDubs turn towards each other, both grinning. As casually as he can manage, Scar asks, "Where did you get this stuff from?"
BDubs snaps his fingers. "Oh, yeah, remember when I got these eyes?"
"I sure do."
Ignoring Scar, he continues. "Well, I got 'em from a future version o' me, or somethin'? That's what he said, at least."
"I think that's happened to me once or twice."
"Yeah- wait, really?"
Scar shrugs. "Probably!"
"Cool!" BDubs... doesn't question that all that much? Eh, just means he's a real good right-hand man. "Anyway, future-me was wearin' a hoodie o' this stuff, and he gave some to me!"
Scar extends a foot, squishing some of the not-grass with it. The sound it makes is nice, he decides. "Well, thanks to your future self, then!" Man, with the ability to replace mycelium with just bone meal... That's basically nothing! Bones are so easy to get! "I wish my future selves brought me cool stuff! You know what mine brought me last time?"
"What, sir?" Despite wording things like a tired butler when he speaks to Scar, BDubs does genuinely sound excited.
"An arrow to the head!"
"Unacceptable! We should punish him!" Realizing what he said, he adds, "Unless you disagree, dear mayor."
"I don't think anyone with my name should ever be penalized!"
He nods quickly. "You're completely right, sir!"
Scar nods as well. "Of course I am! Now, shall we, uh, tell anyone about this not-grass?"
BDubs pauses for a second, eyebrows knit.
He drops that expression entirely, going right back to cheerful and smiley. "Nah! If they disagree with you, Mr. Mayor, we kill 'em!"
If nothing else, Scar appreciates the enthusiasm. "Good idea! See, that's why you're my right-hand man."
"Anytime!" See? Beacon of positivity right here!
He grabs a handful of the not-grass from the ground. "Tell the others we're using this stuff from now on, alright?" He pulls a flower off one of the bushes, handing it to his assistant to seal the deal. "Tell 'em it's just... upgraded grass."
BDubs salutes. Man, is it nice to get your friends treating you like a king! "Of course, sir!"
Scar can't keep the smile- well, he was already smiling. The genuine smile- off his lips. "Good."
"Have you seen these new leaves?" Scar asks Grian as casually as he can. Normally he'd be better at this, but being perched in a tree while acting is significantly harder than just acting on its own! "They're so nice- no biome tint, did you know that? We can have another mesa season! Oh, it'll be so green!"
Grian narrows his eyes, ignoring the fighting words. "'New'? What, is it one of the nether trees? I'm pretty sure the green one is blue-"
"Oh, even better!" Scar hops out of the tree, gliding into his chair. "Follow me, follow me!"
"Scar, are you gonna kill me?"
Oh, that's a good idea! "No, of course not! Would I ever do something like that?"
"Yes." No hesitation. To be fair, Grian is right about that one.
Scar gasps in mock offense. He's not much better at acting on the ground, it turns out. "Of course I wouldn't!"
Grian sighs. "Just show me the new blocks." Of course he's still following after that!
"Of course, of course!"
The HEP leader and the Resistance leader meet around a patch of the miracle grass- surrounded, of course, by mycelium.
"They added... dying grass?" Grian quirks an eyebrow.
"No, no, no, my fungal friend!" Scar decides to be nice and doesn't acknowledge how said fungal friend stiffens at that. "We've made advanced grass!" He hands Grian some bone meal- more casually than he did with BDubs, he doesn't need to keep his enemy on his side. "Just use some of this on there, and voila!"
Grian takes it, still clearly suspicious. "And this won't kill me."
"Of course not! Besides, you're the one who kills everyone, not me!"
He purses his lips, but doesn't disagree. "...Alright."
He places it, and immediately jumps back from the spreading grass.
"What the heck?!"
"It's wonderful, isn't it?" Scar smiles fully, shark teeth on proud display. "Such a nice shade of green, too, right? I've really warmed up to it-"
"Scar!"
"Mhm?" He turns his head to see-
Grian's clutching his arm, one knee on the ground. He manages to save some strength for the purpose of narrowing his eyebrows. "My arm's asleep! Did your stupid grass-"
"Aw, hey! It's not stupid!"
He half-growls.
Before he can respond with words, something catches his attention, and his eyes widen. He slowly lifts his arm up to present it to Scar, smiling with barely-repressed rage. "Scar?"
"Yes, my friend?" Better late than never to turn up the charm, right? Right?
The smile widens, just barely not a grimace. "I think I know what the pinpricks were!"
Scar leans in to look at whatever he's being shown, and-
Shit.
Bursting from the tips of Grian's fingers, everywhere he touched the bone meal, are little tiny sprouts. Somehow, there's no blood anywhere near the holes in his skin. Scar doesn't want to think about what the roots are doing.
He fiddles with his gloves. "Well, hey- look at that! It's broken skin without blood! See, a miracle-worker!"
"It's broken my skin, Scar." There's a persistent flash of anger in Grian's eyes, bright as a flame.
"Well, you know what?" Scar doesn't need his cordial act right now. He leans in. "If it can eat through people, it can eat through all that mycelium of yours."
Grian's face falls. He manages to bring it back up somewhat, although he's not as good an actor as Scar. "You really think that's all we've got?"
"It's all I've seen."
He chuckles darkly, utterly unconvincing. He sounds like Scar- only an idiot wouldn't see through his act! "Oh, you've got a lot comin' your way!"
Scar also chuckles darkly, just to show him how it's done. It probably helps that he doesn't have anything growing in his hands. At least not to his knowledge, anyway. He readjusts his gloves. "I'm looking forward to it."
"BDubs!" No matter how Scar actually reads when he tries to seem cordial, at least he's consistent! No one will be able to tell the new grass poses any existential threat! "So, I've got some news about how the grass works-"
"Yes, sir?" BDubs, ever the loyal servant, is saluting and in front of Scar's desk already. Oh, it'd hurt to see their miracle weapon eat him. Speaking of, his hand looks a little-
Scar sucks in a breath, already dropping his first facade. That was quick. "So. There may be some complications with the- by the way, wonderful- new grass you brought us?"
"Oh, that it eats you?"
He stares at him. "Wait, you knew?"
"'Course I did!" Cheery as ever! Truly, an invaluable asset. "It truly is wonderful- by the way, are you alright with it climbing buildings? Or should I start crackin' down?"
BDubs... doesn't care? Well, that makes it easier. "Oh, I'm perfectly fine with it spreading! Serves 'em right for that sheep stunt, right?"
"Of course, mayor!" Upon closer-ish inspection, the grass is really obvious on his arms. It weaves in and out of the skin, almost looking like vines. Scar's stomach flips just a little bit at that.
...Well, the grass seems to grow anywhere around it when it's bone mealed, right? This is just a sign of loyalty! Yeah! "What would I do without you, BDubs?"
"Oh, you flatter me!"
He does. "That's just because you do so much for me!" All the dirty work. "Now, would you mind telling HEP about this for me? I think they should all hear about this wonderful product!"
"Of course! I'll start handin' 'em out as soon as possible!" Where BDubs' plants touch his eye, it almost... glitches back to normal?
"Perfect, perfect!" God, he hopes this doesn't end too terribly. He hopes they at least win!
Scar looks over his balcony, out at his beautiful war zone. He watches the fires, the Resistance's newest trick. Unlike their past tricks, this one is futile. That's always nice.
He watches the current batch of fire tear through the regular grass, leaving the miracle stuff alone. Grian, a little red ant from up here, tries to stop it before it can reach the fallible wood of the Barge.
Scar smiles. It's nice to know Grian won't be able to just burn away the HEP's marks on him.
As he runs around, for a split second- he turns... green? No, he- his clothes are green now? Is that a hat?
He stops, looking up at Scar. His clothes are back to normal now, but, even from far away, Scar can see his... new beard?
When he blinks, though, it's gone. Nothing to worry about- not yet, at least. Thank God for gloves.
It's nice these days in the town hall, especially if you don't pay attention. BDubs is still loyal, of course, all his weird dissent-y vibes gone- but the others have really started emulating him! Cub's been giving Scar netherite- he doesn't know how to destroy the miracle grass yet, so it's sketchy, but he still appreciates the gesture! And Cub's new hair, the black really suits him.
Joe's always been nice, even when he's scared- especially when he's scared- but he's started sharing his dogs with Scar! There's still the contamination risk, especially when it tries to bite his gloves off, but that's not a problem if he doesn't pet it!
Scar sits on his throne, watching his little ants work. The dog and the netherite sit in the hollow base. Strands of very vine-like plants hang from the ceiling, giving the place a really nice vibe! And with the new lanterns he added- it's serene!
He leans back. There's no back support in this thing, just flat crystal, but he tries to relax into it, anyway. After all this time of being mayor, he finally felt like he was in charge of anything! Bit sad that it took... this to get him there, but better late than never! Right? Right.
"Aw, poor thing."
What?
There's a figure in the doorway. He's in a wheelchair, he's got brown hair (with a gray streak, granted), he's got the same nose scar, he's got-
"Yeah, I'm you. Anyway-" What? "-that's not what I'm going to tell you."
He rolls towards Scar, refusing to line up directly with the throne. "I'll keep it brief. You're not in control of anything but them." He stops. "I like the moss, though!"
With that-
Scar blinks, and he's the only him in the room. There's a sunflower on his chest like a broach. That glitches away soon, along with a patch of the miracle grass.
Grian holds his hand out for a handshake. He's not mad? That grass is truly a miracle-worker! "Congratulations on winning the war!" He's smiling, no more venom than there normally is.
"Thank you!" Scar takes his hand, carefully placing his fingers around the most obvious sprouts. He hasn't really been getting his hands dirty lately, but maybe his gloves are still worn out! He doesn't know! "You fought well. At first."
His opponent laughs good-naturedly. "But you beat us, fair and square!"
Some of the Resistance members shift uncomfortably- though, most have already been exposed to the grass, and are perfectly cordial! "That we did." Only xB seems completely normal, but he's super paranoid, anyway! The rest assumed their friends wouldn't want to seriously hurt them, and who was Scar to convince them otherwise? "And now the shopping district is beautiful! You helped, you know."
"I did?"
He smiles. "You set out a lotta fuel for us."
Grian laughs again. Everyone laughs, all Scar's enemies happily his underlings. It's like the end of a movie!
BDubs, smile wide as always, leads the new town hall workers out of the throne room and into their offices.
Scar's still not alone, though. The other him is back.
"You really think you won?" he asks.
"Of course I have! Didn't you see that?"
He shakes his head. "You haven't won 'till you've taken the gloves off. Until then, the gloves have won."
Before Scar can disagree, the other one's gone again.
Of course he won! It was his decision to use the not-grass, after all! He told them to ignore the effects, he told them to soldier on through it all! And, for his efforts, he's been rewarded with a whole server of loyal servants!
He leans back in his throne again, watching the ant farm. BDubs looks like he's in charge of them here, but he's in charge of BDubs! He rules the world! Maybe, if he gets enough people to be in charge of, he'll finally be in charge of himself!
...That's a dark thought. He pushes it down with the rest of them.