Work Text:
Eddie thinks that this all started when Buck moved into his house. When his life was falling apart and then his best friend, the best person he'd ever met in his life took over his home so Eddie and Chris would have somewhere to come back too. Would always have a place here.
And Buck had acted like it wasn't a big deal when the only thing he could think about was getting as close as possible to this beautiful, sweet and big man that always thought with his heart on his sleeve.
But the only thing he could make his body do was hug him. Only hug him in front of all of their friends because he felt like he couldn't… he couldn't think of anyone else besides this man in front of him.
Though he did what he does best and just let himself be grateful instead of exploring the way it made him feel to have Bucks body pressed against him.
Eddie would just really rather not explore that in front of the people who matter most to him. Let alone in front of the person this reaction is causing as they touched.
And he thinks about it, even as they hug again. And they're alone, well, as alone as two people can be in the middle of the road.
The thought doesn't leave him. It attaches onto his soul and holds tight during the entire drive. Memories coming and going through his mind as he stares at the road because really what else is he supposed to do?
Because— that sensation in his chest isn't new. Eddies felt it before. Felt it when Buck took him to pick up Christopher after the earthquake. When he built his son a skateboard and they went and see Santa together.
He felt it when Buck got crushed under the firetruck, he felt it under his anger. Eddie felt it when he was shot, when he thought the last thing he'd ever see was blue eyes. That day it made his chest feel like it was caving in through the pain.
And he ignored it. He ignored it and pushed it away even though he knows in his heart that the moment he knew that Buck was okay… well, he closed his eyes.
He didn't explore it, didn't chase it. Whatever the sensation in his chest was. and he regretted it, and regretted it even more when Buck was struck by lightening.
Buck was dead.
Eddie won't ever be able to forget that. 3 minutes and 17 seconds was enough to bring his entire world to its knees. he still look away when he sees the time on a clock, or on his phone.
And now he's driven away from that same man. And Eddie can't help but look on his rear view mirror, even though the only thing behind him is the open road. Because Buck isn't coming with Eddie.
He's staying in Eddies house though.
He's sleeping in Eddies bed and showering under Eddies water. He's cooking in Eddies kitchen and sitting on Eddies couch and —
He can't do this right now.
His knuckles are tight on the steering wheel and he wonders what Bucks doing right now. What he did after he couldn't see Eddies truck anymore.
Then he remembers he can actually check and presses buttons on his trucks dash before Bucks contact finally comes up and there it is. Right there on the screen is Bucks current location.
They've been sharing it with one another for years and it's saved Eddie a lot of time and worry to know where Buck is when he's not answering. Plus it's always a little funny when he gets a call from Buck about groceries or a snack or coffee that he asks Eddie to get while he's out.
Bucks never been wrong about him being close to a certain store. So he knows the man checks it as much as Eddie does.
It makes it feel normal.
At least he doesn't have to worry about looking at it and seeing Tommy's house on his phone screen.
But right now the man's at Maddie's, and it's late. It's so late right now and his brow furrows because why is he there? Why isn't he at Eddies? Or the loft getting the rest of his stuff.
Eddie wishes he could ask, but he can't.
Buck must be sleeping right now.
He'll just have to check his location in the morning and call him when it starts to move around so Eddie knows he's awake before he does so. Not wanting to wake him up. From sleep he likely needs.
Making himself huff a laugh, by himself in this car about Bucks tendencies to stay up late searching the internet.
But when he gets to El Paso and Sofia is standing there waiting for him and they hug and greet one another. And she looks tired, but he's tired. Driving straight to El Paso was not his brightest decision by any means but he just wanted to see his son so bad he feels like he's going to start vibrating with it.
"Hold on, let me call Buck so he knows I made it." Eddie comments and Sofia, being unashamed and nosy, tilts her body into his phone so she can see it and he sees her eyebrows raise when Bucks location is pulled up on his phone.
"You have his location?" Sofia asks, right there in his parents yard at 7 am and he nods.
"Yeah? I've had it since the tsunami." Eddie states, decidedly not thinking about one of the worst days of his entire life. He'll have to start numbering them if he does that.
"Hmmm." She starts and leans back, "And you check it before you call?"
Eddie shrugs, "Yeah, I mean if he's busy I can just text him—" and he looks at the phone and sees his own house again and grins, the little dots moving a little bit, "But he's up and home so we're good."
"Oh, he's still at the loft?"
Eddie shakes his head, "He took over my lease."
Sofia makes another sound, "Right of course he did." And he looks over at her and she's clearly fighting a smile and that fight on her face ends as soon as she notices him looking and then she laughs, a squeak of a sound before she covers her mouth to try and hide it again.
"What?" He asks, not understanding.
Sofia just sighs, playfulness still there, "Nothing you're just hopeless." Shoving against him before she starts walking up the steps as his finger hovers over Bucks name, "Tell your best friend I said hello."
Eddie feels his heart tick but presses dial anyways.
"Eds! How was the drive? Did you see Chris yet? I saw that you were in El Paso already, I can't believe you drove through—-"
Eddie exhales, staring at Sofia as she makes her way into the house, the door closing behind her and he can't help but smile at Bucks rambling.
He'll figure out what she's talking about later.
Later does not happen as his life in Texas comes to an end with Chris along with him. The racing of his heart has finally calmed down at the news that Bobby will be fine. But he'll never forget getting a call from Tommy of all people to fill him in on what happened.
He'd felt so blindsided, hadn't even had the man's number saved in his phone anymore and Buck was on call and on an actual call so there was no FaceTimes for a while..
Tommy explaining the situation wasn't leaving his mind anytime soon. Even as he and his son drove down the highway. After the man called Eddie and told him he needed to come to LA for his family. His family, and maybe he felt a little smug under the panic because his best friends ex said that Buck needed him.
Chris had moved faster than he did and it only solidified that they were going home. He'd deal with the damn house and the damn car later. The only thing that mattered was them getting home to their family.
But it was still devastating when he finally did talk to Buck on the phone. His voice was scratchy but soft. Low tones and a tiredness that only came from a hard call.
"He's alive." Bucks voice had echoed through the rented truck he and Chris were sitting in, "They've got him under for detox, but he's going to be alright."
Eddie exhales and Chris relaxes against the seat, "Good.. that's—"
"Yeah." He can hear Buck breathing, "Chim woke up about an hour ago, and everyone else is okay too. So don't rush, be careful, the both of you."
Chris huffs a laugh, "Don't worry Buck, dads got so much better with driving after ubering everywhere."
The words make Buck laugh too, a quiet and soft one but a laugh and he's so grateful for his son in this moment, "mmm that so, I'll have to see it in action, get the full uber Eddie experience instead of just being on the phone."
Eddie finds himself smiling too, "We'll see." Joking with him and they talk about nothing important, just the amount of time they'll be driving and if they're stopping until Buck hangs up.
But that promise might just be made possible when they pull up to the house in the middle of the night and there's a light on from the kitchen that Eddie can see and he smiles reflexively to know that Bucks there.
Because before all of this, Eddie had noticed that Buck wasn't sleeping at the house. He was barely even there but before he actually got to ask, Buck was staying there and was really weird about it for a few days and wouldn't tell Eddie anything.
And he still wants to know, but he's certainly not going to mention it now as the door opens before Eddie can fully put the truck in park and he's standing right there.
Buck is right there, in sleep pants and a tank top, even though Eddie knows that Buck usually doesn't sleep with a shirt on. Only bundling himself up like a burrito instead to keep warm.
So it means Bucks been waiting for them.
It sends another one of those sensations up and into his chest that he and Frank have been talking about ever since Eddie let that woman into his house.
None of that matters though because he's leaning over and settling his hand on Chris's shoulder, "Mijo, we're home." Voice loud enough to wake him but not startle with it, "Cmon, Bucks going to start vibrating in place."
Chris groans but he can see the tired smile forming on the teenagers face until he starts to stretch and then he looks up to see that Buck has left the porch, the man's gotten closer. As if he's playing some red light, green light game everytime Eddie looks away.
But it's not that, Bucks definitely just moving when he wants too. Because he doesn't stop when Eddie catches his eyes. Really it only just makes him speed up until the man's basically pressed up against the window.
Luckily by then Chris has woken up enough to be moved and so Eddie gestures the man to open the door and Eddie barely blinks before Chris is gone, picked up out of his seat and he has to look away to get out of the truck but he doesn't really want too.
Not when Chris is willingly holding Buck close, just as close as the man hugging him is. It's dark, the only light is coming from the street and the door that Buck left open but it's as if it doesn't even matter to either of them.
Which is way clearer when Eddie comes around and can hear them speaking quietly to one another. It's low enough that he barely catches it as he grabs Chris's backpack but he does,
"I missed you so much." Buck says, they're tucked so close it's adorable, as Chris's legs dangle there because he's still up off the ground.
"I missed you too." Chris whispers back, "I'm sorry I left— I didn't want to leave you…"
Buck inhales deeply and Eddie has to look away from them now, he can't look and them and not feel some of the blame for their separation. Even if that's not how it works, it's not all black and white.
"You never need to apologize for something you felt you needed to do." Buck insists, his voice full of emotion now, "All that matters is that you're here… but we can talk more in the morning if you want, you're falling asleep on my shoulder kid."
Eddies mouth ticks up as Chris mumbles, "No I'm not." Like a liar and Buck snorts, it's an ugly, quiet sound but Eddie likes it whenever he does that. Not that he's actually going to think about it.
"Cmon, let's get inside." Eddie says, shutting the door to the passenger side of the truck and Buck nods, looking at Eddie softly, the man's eyes are a little red but they still shine blue in the moonlight.
"Lead the way Eds." Buck murmurs and Eddies heart flips and he needs to go to bed immediately. Even if all he wants to do is join in on that hug, to bring them both close and keep them there.
Tommy's words about Buck being the only one besides Athena outside of that lab sits heavy in his chest, especially as he feels his presence behind him as they walk into the house.
Noticing immediately that there's no boxes stacked anymore from the last time they FaceTimed where Eddie could actually see the area. Usually it was in Eddies bedroom. or Bucks bedroom.
It's organized now, lived in.
Eddie missed it with his entire being.
So he takes his time closing the front door and taking off his shoes as Buck puts Chris to bed. He knows the kids tired because he's not insisting that he can do it himself. Just letting Buck hold him until they disappear down the hallway.
And eventually he makes it to the bedroom and stops right at the doorway.
That's—
That's not his bed.
That's Bucks bed from the loft. The frame and everything is all Buck and he's confused. He thought Buck put his bed in the spare room? Or was under that assumption, he really needs to pay more attention.
"Hey," Bucks voice rings out, the man walking into the room and Eddie turns, raising an eyebrow.
"Dude, where my bed?" Eddie asks and it's even more confusing when Bucks face flushes. Making his eyes look even redder than before.
"Oh— I had to throw it out." Buck states and Eddie makes a confused sound and Buck presses his lips together, "I completely forgot to tell you…" his voice quiets down and Eddie thinks that it must've been a good reason.
"Does this have anything to do with you not staying here at first? Was it my bed?" Eddie asks, curious because was it uncomfortable? Did it make Buck uncomfortable?
Surprisingly Buck exhales a laugh, "No no, that's not it, I just—" the man rubs the back of his neck, "Um.. right after you left.." Buck bites his lip, "Tommy slept over?"
The words send a halt to his entire body, he thinks his brain breaks. He…
"Oh." Eddie exhales, it's all that can come out of his mouth right now. He doesn't understand the sensation that fills him. It's— it can't be but it is. He feels—
Jealous
It comes through so clear that he schools his face to not show it. Not to Buck who didn't tell him in the first place and just threw Eddies entire bed out to get rid of that happening.
"Yeah— and I didn't really feel… comfortable? I guess sleeping in it anymore? I don't know it's dumb, I'll buy you a new bed!" He says, his voice more so at its normal level.
He didn't feel comfortable sleeping in Eddies bed after what he and Tommy did in it? And he has a feeling he knows exactly what went down and maybe he should block Tommy's number in the morning officially.
It's an insane thought but it's the only thing that comes to mind after hearing about this. Not that he talked to the man anyways but he fucked Eddies best friend in his fucking bed. He—
Eddie needs to calm down.
"You don't need to buy me a new bed." Comes out of his mouth, "We can just share."
"We can—" Buck says, "Share?" It comes out phrased like a question, as if he's making sure Eddie really means that and isn't just saying it to make Buck feel better.
He's absolutely not saying it to make Buck feel better.
So he consciously shrugs, "Yeah, wouldn't be the first time and technically this is your house now, I'm not kicking you out of your own bed and I'm not sleeping on the couch."
"Yeah, that's— that's cool." Buck nods to himself and Eddie has a crazy thought that he should hold him about this. He doesn't know why or where that's come from but he doesn't move an inch to do so.
His feet seem like they're actually nailed to the floor and he has to force himself to move and sit down the backpack he's still wearing for some reason and sit it on the bed and get his clothes out as if he's perfectly fine and doesn't wish that Frank could meet him immediately.
Because words aren't said again until they're both laying down; facing one another. And he thinks that he's sleeping where Buck does, by the door but he's here instead because Buck laid on the other side.
As if he knew Eddie wanted to be closer to the door and just let him.
He doesn't know if he's going to sleep tonight or just pass out from sheer exhaustion.
"I'm sorry about your bed." Bucks voice filters through the darkness.
Eddie opens his eyes to look at him even if he can barely see him, "I'm sorry I wasn't there." He doesn't want to even think about his bed right now. It's actually the last thing he wants to think about.
Bucks breathing hitches, clearly not expecting it and he shuffles forward and Eddies holds his breath, "You're here now, and—" he hears Buck swallow, "you're staying right?"
"We're staying." Eddie confirms and he sees Bucks head nod against the pillow. His curls pressing into the pillowcase.
"Then it'll be okay." Buck replies softly, his voice barely over a whisper and now Eddie can't help himself.
He scoots forward on the bed but doesn't actually say anything. Just moves to where Buck can see him better and opens an arm to give him the choice. A choice that is decided by the man so quickly that Eddie feels his heart race about it.
As Buck presses into his space. Reminding Eddie how much touch helps him, how closeness is all that this man really craves.
Eddie wraps his arms around him in response and he can feel one of Bucks arms around him in return as he holds his man by his waist, can feel the plains of his back, shirtless and a little chilly against his fingers.
But the only thing he does is pull the blanket over them both and let Buck press his cold nose into Eddies throat. He can feel his exhale even as it makes no noise, and Eddie has to fight a shiver.
He sleeps though, he falls asleep with Buck tucked against him and even though there's feelings swirling around his bed and driving him crazy.
His eyes still close and sleep takes him.
But he didn't expect to sleep as long as he did. Long enough where he wakes up alone, the sheets rumbled next to him as he opens his eyes to noises in the distance.
Eddie groans, but then voices filter in with the noise and he wakes up immediately. Faster than he has in months because he can hear Buck and Chris in the kitchen.
They're not being loud, it's just—
Eddies missed this.
It's how he gets out of bed so fast. Pulling a shirt over his own head and heading out, following the voices he missed everyday. Even still after Chris started staying with him in Texas.
It just wasn't the same and both and Chris knew it.
And he knows his son felt by the look he gets when Eddie walks into the kitchen. His sons eyes meet his own and there's a softness there he'd never say outloud now that he's getting older.
But Eddie knows.
"Morning Eds." Buck smiles at him and his gaze meets this man's and he can't help but smile a tired smile back at him. "I've got a 12 today but figured you guys might want some breakfast."
Eddie hums and passes him to make his coffee, and he drags his fingers across the lower part of Bucks back as he goes, giving his waist a little squeeze at the end in thanks, "What would we do without you?"
Buck ducks his face and Eddie sees the redness there, but it's Chris who replies, "Starve." And now he can see Bucks shoulders shaking for a different reason. Even if he now wants to see that blush again.
"Hey now." Eddie looks over at his son as his coffee starts, and the teenager just grins at him.
Then they're eating and then Buck is leaving with a wave and a grin and it's just him and Chris, still sitting at the table.
"So, you guys sleeping in the same bed now?" Chris asks and Eddie immediately chokes as he swallows his coffee, sputtering as Chris just bites into another piece of bacon.
"Well Buck—"
"Got rid of your bed I know." Chris states, "Harry told me because Maddie told May." And— they're fucking siblings, Eddie can't pretend that isn't happening and hasn't been happening for years.
Of course Buck told Maddie, so obviously the other two know and it's obviously made it back to Chris because he and Harry are friends.
"Right." Eddie swallows, "It's just easier to share."
"Makes sense. Buck shouldn't sleep on the couch." Is all Chris says and Eddie—
"Yeah that's what I said." He replies and it's not the exact conversation but it's basically how it went, he would've argued with Buck if he tried to sleep on the couch.
Chris hums, "So Buck is staying right, he's not…" Not going to leave. Is what Chris doesn't say.
Eddie swallows, "We haven't talked about it yet."
The teenager nods and is silent for a moment and it's there that Eddie sees Buck in the boy. Not that he hasn't noticed how alike they look, he'll explore that later, but the kids biting his lip the way Buck does when he's nervous or unsure.
"I want him to stay." Chris finally says and Eddies heart stutters. Because— fuck
"I want him to stay too." Eddie says and Chris's head whips at look at him and the boys mouth is open.
"Tell him then so he doesn't start trying to move out, you know he will dad. He's so weird sometimes."
Eddie knows that too, "I'll talk to him when he comes home."
Chris nods, sure and final about what he clearly wants and Eddies so proud of him for saying something. Instead of pushing it away like he did, but he's getting better. He's working on it.
He's got a lot of things to work on if his kid doesn't even question he and Buck sleeping in the same bed together. Just had a look on his face Eddie didn't understand.
"Just keep it down if you're going to share a room." Chris states and the boy stands, balancing his empty plate in his hand as he makes his way to the sink as if Eddie couldn't catch flies with how wide his mouth must be open right now.
It's kind of making his jaw hurt.
"What?" Eddie asks, when his mouth actually moves again.
Chris smirks at him, smirks, "Dad, Buck is so loud, he snores, the neighbors could probably hear him if he sleeps with his face in the pillow. So like— pay attention to him or whatever. Make sure he's breathing right."
Eddie thinks he's being punked.
That's not at all where his mind went.
He's—
"I'm gonna shower." Eddie stands and Chris just raises an eyebrow and puts his plate in the sink with a shrug.
"Okay." The teenager replies, and the smirk lowers on his face and Eddie needs to shower right now, "Just don't forget to tell Buck he's family dad."
He makes his way to the bathroom and then has to leave again because he didn't grab any clothes to change into after he got out. And he drops the shampoo, Bucks fucking shampoo twice before he actually washes his hair.
And—
He's calling Frank the moment he gets out of the shower.
Because his son is punking him for sure and it makes him so uncomfortable that he can barely see that he'd make a joke like that. About him and Buck.
Buck who is family and sleeping in Eddies bed and he doesn't want him to leave.
Fuck.
And early that next morning, when Buck walks in the front door and all Eddie can think about is that he'd love to have this every day.
One of them coming home, or coming home together and it being their home.
So he doesn't waste any time, even if he imagines that Buck is absolutely exhausted, he knows the man has to be. But he still smiles at Eddie and it makes his heart skip a beat, because in the back of his mind, that smiles always been pretty.
Now he's just becoming more aware of it.
But Buck barely has his shoes off before Eddies speaking, "Hey, do you like living with us?" He asks, and Buck jumps a little.
"Jeez," Buck startles and oh, he didn't exactly announce himself, "I figured you'd be asleep still, your shift isn't until noon right?"
Eddie nods, "Mhmm," making the sound as he looks him over, making sure the man isn't hurt anywhere even if he knows that their friends would've tattled if Buck didn't tell him directly. "So do you like living with us?" Asking once more when he decides that Buck looks fine.
Buck blinks at him, "Um, yes?" And a little tired smile forms on his face, "It's been really nice. Do you—?" His question falls off and Eddie shakes his head, already knowing what the other man means.
"Chris brought it up to me, and we'd like it if you just stayed." Eddie says, sharing that openly. If anyone should know they're welcome in Eddies house, it's Buck.
"You— you guys want me to stay?" Buck asks, seemingly unable to help it but Eddie takes it in stride.
"We do Evan." Eddie murmurs, quiet, as if this is some private moment and he's even nice enough to not point out the shine of Bucks eyes. The sunlight hitting the blue so softly this morning.
Buck stares at him for a second before nodding his head, the motion is small but ends with Bucks face tilted down a little, "Yeah okay, I'll stay."
And it's as easy as that.
It becomes even easier when Buck loses his debit card after he took Jee and Chris to the zoo while Eddie was on shift.
His phone had rang in the middle of the 24 he and Ravi switched for and he smiled to himself, decidedly ignoring Hens snort next to him as he stared at Buck and Chris's face staring back him before actually answering the phone call.
He doesn't get why it's weird to have that picture as his background, he likes it. And he likes looking at it.
"Hey Buck—"
"Eddie- I can't find my card to pay for lunch!" Bucks voice rings out and even Hen pulls away from him with how loud it is. Obviously Bucks freaking out.
"What?" Eddie questions, "Aren't you at the zoo?"
"Yes!" Buck answers as if Eddie is the one not keeping up, "I just had it and I can't find it anywhere.. we've looked for almost an hour and they need to eat."
The man sounds distraught and Eddie doesn't exactly know what to do about this because he can't leave and pay for it himself, and he knows that Buck hates carrying cash. Even if Eddie almost prefers it. He withdraws money from his bank account any time he can.
And it's easier to give it to Chris that way.
"Eddie do you have your card on your phone?" Jen asks, interrupting his own small spiral.
Eddie blinks at her and she huffs, taking the phone out of his hand.
"Buckaroo," Hen speaks into the phone and then Eddie is the one hearing some of Bucks loud voice and then Hen is waving a hand and Eddies confused before she rolls her eyes, "Eddie give me your wallet."
He does so without question and she pulls his card out, "Buck I'm gonna send you some money okay, use your phone to pay." He very quickly hears Buck declining but Hen grins at him, "Don't worry it's Eddies money."
The argument dies faster than he imagined it would.
And now in their text thread there's Hen, sending some of Eddies money to Bucks and for a moment he thinks that if Buck already had access to this he'd never have to worry about it. Would never freak out about the prospect of losing his debit card again.
Hen hands his phone back and he takes it back with what be imagines is definitely a dumb look on his face, "Take care to your boy Eddie, for shame." She teases and laughs as she gets up and walks away.
As if Eddie now wishes he could turn invisible.
"Tell Hen she's a lifesaver." Bucks voices filters in as he brings it back to his ear, "I thought the kids were going to start rioting."
Eddie huffs a laugh despite himself, "This is why you should carry cash." Even if he wants to say something else and he just might as Buck makes a squawking noise that's definitely louder than it should be.
"Cash is disgusting Eddie." And Eddie can almost see Bucks face in his head, scrunching up and—
"Then we should just share a bank account, take away the issue of your lost card."
It's quiet again, he can even hear Jee squealing in laughter, "what?" Buck exhales and Eddie— yeah he can't take that back.
"I mean— it'd be easier?" He frowns a little, "For the house payment and… when you take Chris somewhere." Eddie drawls off, suddenly unsure with himself.
"Actually—" Buck answers after a few moments, "That makes a lot of sense." The man hums, "We wouldn't have to pay seperately anymore."
"Right." Eddie swallows.
"Well I can call and cancel mine and get it all moved over if you want? I know you don't like talking to the bank but they might need your approval."
"If they call I'll answer." Eddie feels like his tongue is too heavy for his mouth.
"Great!" Buck exclaims, "Okay, I do have to go, the giraffe feeding starts soon."
"Be careful?" He lets out and he wishes that he could see Bucks face during this moment but he can't.
"Always." Buck says and the phone disconnects and he stares at it for a moment before someone clears their throat next to him and he exhales before coming face to face when Bobby.
"Do I need to change Bucks direct deposit paperwork?" Bobby asks, his face clearly so carefully blank.
Eddie swallows, "Yeah."
Bobby just nods and walks off and yeah, Eddie gets it.
The bank calls him an hour later.
Eddie approves and now they share a bank account.
He feels insane again.
Maybe it's the stress from all of his newfound emotions, and the fact that Frank thinks he needs to look up some terms. Things that may define Eddie or something he might be comfortable with.
Because he's definitely the only person that gets sick after realizing that he's definitely not straight. It's a fact for sure, he can honestly know that without all of the googling he's been doing these last couple of days.
And really it's a lot of googling.
But the good news is that he has the time off and can now place the sensation that goes through his chest when Buck walks into a room.
Because it's not straight, with the way Eddie wants to hold him. Wants to pull his close and keep him next to him in the bed they're sharing.
Or we're sharing until Eddie got sick and Buck went to sleep on the couch. When the only thing Eddie truly wants is for the man to stay close but he also doesn't want him to get sick too.
Because Buck looks so pitiful when he's sick and Eddie heart can't take that.
So instead, he's possibly demisexual and he also cannot stop thinking about Pepas soup. The one she used to make when Eddie got sick at her house when he was younger and it's really just a bad time.
Somehow figuring out that demisexual fits him is easier than the sneezing he cannot get to stop coming out of his body anytime he lays down. And the coughing is worse.
"Hey, feeling any better?" Buck asks; walking into the room and Eddie groans out a response. Of course Buck is here, and taking care of him. Doing what he always does without being asked and Eddie—- Jesus he loves him, he does.
But he cannot tell him when his face feels swollen and he knows he needs a shower.
"Not really." Eddie rasps out and feels the back of Bucks hand settling over his forehead before the man pulls away.
"I think you've still got a fever, you think you're up for a shower? It might help you cool off." Buck suggests quietly and he thinks that this man could read his mind if he tried hard enough.
There's no one else in this world that can read Eddie besides Buck, and it's exciting and oh so terrifying.
"Yeah," Eddie says, smacking his lips together before he tries to sit up and Buck is right there, helping him to do.
"Okay, I'll grab you a towel and some clothes." The man states as he helps Eddie stand up and Eddie hums again, he can't do much else. But he knows he can shower.
Slowly they make their way to the bathroom and then just as quick as he was there, Bucks gone and he takes that moment to tear his shirt off of his body, grimacing at the sweat that still clings to his skin.
"Here's your—" Buck starts as he walks back in and Eddie turns when his voice drops off and when he does so, he watches as Bucks gaze swiftly comes straight to his face. But he didn't miss the moment, the way that those eyes were locked onto Eddies back.
He'd preen a little if he didn't think it would make him cough.
"Thanks." Eddie rasps and grabs the clothes from the man and Buck just nods; his own face a little red and he wonders briefly what Buck is thinking. Wants him to be thinking about Eddie.
He wishes he was.
But Buck murmurs out a swift, "No problem." Before he exiting the bathroom and closing the door behind him, it shutting with a soft click. And he's grateful, he doesn't have a headache right now and he'd like to keep it that way.
So he showers and lets himself think. Let's himself be selfish, even though he's sick and feels gross. He thinks as the lukewarm water drips down his body and it's nice to imagine. He's never let himself to do that before.
That maybe Buck isn't doing this to just be friendly. Even though he knows that the man, who has his entire heart out for the world to see would do this for almost anymore. But he's doing it for Eddie, and maybe— just maybe it's not because they're friends.
Maybe they could be more.
And he'll get to that when he's not sick.
But it's so hard not to say anything.
Especially when he gets out of the shower and puts clothes on. Old clothes that are stretched and comfortable with age. Thin enough where he won't sweat through them as terribly and well, if he does, they're old.
But it's hard because he smells something oh so familiar it makes him stop in his tracks. Wafting through the house like a siren call. Except it's a smell, a scent he hasn't had in his nose since he was a teenager. Barely 15 and so sick from the lake that was too cold for him to be swimming in.
It's pepas soup.
The same soup he was thinking about earlier. And once he unsticks his feet from the ground he can't help but follow it. Blindly going through his own house until he gets to the kitchen.
"Muchas gracias Pepa." Buck is speaking, and Eddie then realizes that the man's on his phone. Speaking Spanish and talking to his aunt, seemingly almost done with the conversation as he stirs the pot in front of him.
Then the phone clicks and Bucks soft humming fills the space, along with the smell of that soup.
"Is that my tias soup?" Eddie blurts out the question, and his voice sounds a little better, less of a rasp now that warm water has touched him.
Buck looks over his shoulder with a smile, "Mhmm, she told me how to make it this morning. I wanted to call her to make sure I didn't miss anything before trying to feed you."
And Buck looks so damn pleased with himself as if his family sharing their recipes isn't a big deal. As if it's not basically sacred at this point when anyone finds out any of them.
And now Pepa has given him her soup. Specially made for when someone is sick.
"I can't believe she told you the recipe." Eddie says and walks over, peering into the pot as he speaks.
Bucks smile stays on his face as their gazes connect, "This isn't the first recipe she's given me Eds," The man huffs a laugh when Eddie just stares at him, "Eddie, do you think I just knew how to make Huevos Rotos when Chris asked for them?"
And Eddie had forgotten about that. It had been right after the shooting and Chris had asked and Buck had simply nodded as if he knew.
Eddie didn't think Pepa had shared that with him.
"Or Abuelas tamales?" Buck asks and he's still grinning.
The only reason Eddie doesn't kiss him is because he almost sneezes in the soup and has to turn away.
But then he's wordlessly being given a napkin and he blows his nose.
"I hadn't realized." Eddie sniffles as he gets himself together and backs off, he's not kissing Buck while he's sick. He's not that insane.
"Is it okay?" Buck asks as he grabs bowls out of the cabinet and Jesus he also knows where everything in this house is and it's not even because it's also his house. A house he lived in without Eddie.
It's just because he's been here for so many years he just knows.
"It's great." Eddie simply answers because he might profess his love for the man otherwise. And Buck nods while pouring the soup into said bowl and Eddie sits down at the table because he knows what's coming.
"Good, now tell me whether it's still great after you taste it." Buck stares as he sits the soup in front of him and Eddie doesn't waste a second as the man gets his own bowl.
And really it's good that Bucks back is turned again because the look on his face is not appropriate for the situation. Especially since it's his tias soup that Bucks made but Eddie wishes he could show his appreciation.
For things Buck doesn't even think twice about and just does. Things he doesn't have to do; but instead he goes out of his way. Because he could've just made Eddie some soup in a can that he knows is in the cabinet.
But instead he'd made Pepas soup. Called and got the recipe and made it just because Eddie doesn't feel well.
He might just explode before he feels better anyways. Not even from sinus congestion, but from Buck being perfect.
"So tell me the results." Buck asks, bright eyed and curious of his reaction as he sits down at the table with Eddie. "Would Chris eat it?" He continues and it makes the way his chest seizes when he tries to laugh worth it.
"It's perfect." Eddie replies, when all he really wants to say is,
You're perfect.
It's a problem now.
Once Eddie feels better, he decides that he needs to get out of the house before he tells Buck about the way he feels, hoping the sunshine or outside air will make this any easier.
So they're going to the aquarium. Him and Buck, along with most of their friends children. Denny and Chris are talking and Jee is trying to hold May's hand and Buck is walking next to him, their shoulders bumping as they go.
It's a good day, they've looked at so many different fish that Eddie doesn't think he'll remember them all if he tried. But he has a feeling that the two people coming back home with him tonight will remember every single detail and he'll get to hear about it while they're meant to be watching a movie.
He can't wait for that either.
Especially as Buck walks a bit faster and snatches Jee up, making her squeal and May laugh next to them as the little girl holds tight onto Buck. And as his gaze shifts he realizes that they're at a big tank. Fish swimming around everywhere and Jee is being put on Bucks shoulders.
He's doing it so she can see better and Chris, despite being a teenager is standing close to the man while Denny tries to press himself close to the tank and May is listening to something that Buck is saying.
He bets it about the fish inside and he goes to walk forward but a voice stops him,
"You have a beautiful family." Eddie hears and he turns, and there's a man, he's in uniform for the aquarium and he's smiling at Eddie. His expression bright and Eddie can't help but look over at all of them again and a smile forms on his own face.
"Thank you." Eddie replies, soft and happy and Buck turns at that moment and sends Eddie a smile so bright that he almost forgets he's meant to be looking at the tanks, at the beautiful fish inside and letting Jee touch a fish that would make Chimney grimace.
But instead he finds himself walking to Buck, who's keeping his gaze as he comes closer; the same expression on his face and Eddie feels—
This is his family.
Buck is family.
He's family and Eddie knew that he did. He promises that he did, but now that someone has pointed it out that doesn't know any of them.
It's so much clearer now what Eddie wants to do. And he'll do it soon.
He'll do it after they leave here because he can't keep it to himself any longer as he comes to stand next to Buck, right where Chris is still standing.
"Everything okay?" Buck asks, his head tilted in curiosity and Eddie sees Jees fingers digging into Bucks curls and the man doesn't even wince.
Eddie looks at him, really looks at him, long enough to where the curiosity turns into bashfulness and the pink is back on Bucks face. It's exhilarating to know Bucks an easy blush.
"Yeah, everything's perfect."
He's with his family.
Of course everything is perfect.
But it doesn't make it any less daunting as they walk into the house that same night. Everyone but Chris dropped off at their own house and he still feels like he can't quite get enough air, remembering Buck holding Daniel in his arms before they left Maddie and Chimneys. Jee already asleep before they got there.
And really he's so glad that they changed that baby's name. Robert just didn't fit him, especially not as Bobby is walking around very much alive and out of the hospital now.
Daniel is perfect and Buck looked perfect holding him and Eddie really needs his son to decide he either wants to go to bed or play games because Eddie feels like he might just start vibrating if he has to hold this in any longer.
Though that even is solved by Buck. Who is talking to Chris when he comes back into himself and has apparently missed half of a conversation.
"Only till 11, you've got to get used to a school schedule again." Buck is talking in the living room and he hears Chris groan.
"Fine." The teenager says and Eddie walks into see Buck standing there and Chris across from him.
"Hey, 11 is a good deal!" Buck is grinning and Chris huffs but doesn't argue because really, it is a good deal. Eddie would've said 10.
"Don't try and argue with Buck bud." Eddie says, jsut to tease and he gets the reaction he was looking for when Chris turns to him.
"I wasn't." Chris is staring at him and god; he's getting older everyday, "It's a good deal." He murmurs and Buck laughs, the sound happy in his living room.
But then the boy is going down the hallway into his room and this is exactly what Eddie wanted. Was waiting for all day in fact as he looks down at the coffee table and sees that he's got an unopened beer sitting there, he can't help but swallow.
"We should get married." Eddie blurts and the rough and sudden inhale of air that makes Buck choke makes him feel bad immediately.
Why the fuck did he say that?
Eddie rushes over to Buck, who's still standing there heaving a little and Eddie pats his back out of reflex because he's certainly not thinking right now.
"I didn't think you'd be that forward." Buck finally gets out when the coughing dies down and Eddie just stares at him, stares at the water coming out of Bucks eyes from coughing and—
"What?" Eddie gets out and Buck grins at him.
"I thought you'd ask me on a date when you felt ready but—" Buck bites his lip and his face is red again.
"Wait." Eddie blanches, "You know I've got feelings for you."
Buck ducks his head a little, "Um—" the man exhales, "I kind of.. hoped? You've been—" he bites his lip and Eddie follows the movement, "That!" Buck yelps out, nervousness in his voice even if he's still smiling, "You've been staring at me alot lately and—" those blue eyes gaze at him again, "You open doors for me and tell me you like my cooking and you cuddle me while you sleep and tighten when I try and get up and—"
Eddie kisses him.
Buck lets out a sound of surprise but thankfully melts into the kiss easily. As easily as ever and now that Eddie knows what those lips feel like against his own he'll never let him go.
Now the insanity he feels is coming together. The confusing sensations that he's been feeling for years are falling off his body. Especially as he moves his hands, remembering that they exist to grab Buck by the waist and pull him close, close enough for them to be flush together right there in the living room.
Buck makes another soft noise and Eddie could drink it, he wishes that he could.
But he has to pull away; he has too before he drowns. Because somehow he will; he'll drown in the taste of Buck. Of the feeling of kissing the person he hasn't been able to stop thinking about for weeks.
It's perfect; even better than he could've ever imagined. As Bucks fingers graze across his jaw and he shivers at the ice of them. No wonder Eddie tries to cuddle him in his sleep.
But now all he can think about is keeping him warm forever.
So he breaks the kiss and blinks his eyes open and gets to watch Buck do the same.
"Yeah I'll marry you." Is the first thing Buck says and Eddie can't help but laugh. The sound echoed by Bucks own laughter, his pleased face that makes Eddie want to bite him. He feels like he's never felt before and he knows it's because of Buck.
"Then let's get married, be a family." Eddie murmurs, his laughter coming down and he can feel Bucks entire body softening in his hold.
"Eds, we're already a family."
What else is he supposed to do besides kiss him again?
How did he never realize it before, everything this man does for him. Things he apparently does in return and now that he's really aware of it. The only thing he can think of is taking care of Buck in return.
Take care of his fiancé.
His family.