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The room was quiet enough to hear the hum of the ventilation – low, steady, like a mechanical heartbeat beneath the city’s pulse. Luxurious, yes, but suffocatingly still. Aventurine’s suite was: too clean, too polished, the kind of opulence that made silence feel expensive.
Ratio stood near the window, one hand tucked behind his back as he watched the neon shimmer distort across the glass. The skyline stretched below – a thousand glimmering gambles in motion, every light a risk that had either paid off or hadn’t. Aventurine’s territory. But tonight, the man himself wasn’t looking nor taking part of it.
He sat on the couch instead, elbows on his knees, eyes lowered – a rare thing in itself. When he finally looked up, it was with that almost lazy composure he wore like armor. But there was something frayed at the edges.
“Don’t look at me like that” Aventurine said, a faint smirk curling on his lips. “I’m perfectly sane.”
Ratio didn’t answer. He knew better than to confirm or deny when Aventurine opened with irony. He only tilted his head, waiting.
Aventurine exhaled through his nose, leaning back. “I want us to try something new… something a bit unusual”
That last word earned him a faint blink of curiosity – not surprise, though. “Unusual, by whose standards?” Ratio’s voice was even, almost too controlled.
“Mm...I’d say yours” Aventurine let his eyes drift toward the ceiling. “I’d be surprised if it wasn’t” A pause. “I want you to act like you own me.”
The silence that followed wasn’t sharp – it was heavy. Ratio didn’t move. The hum of the ventilation filled the gap like static between his rapid thoughts.
When he finally spoke, it was in a tone quieter than before. “That isn’t a joke, I assume.”
“No” Aventurine said simply.
Ratio’s gaze shifted from the window to him, calculating. Aventurine could feel it – that dissecting precision, the kind that could strip emotion from action, reason from impulse.
“You’ve had a long history with… power ”Ratio began carefully “I don’t think I need to remind you of how that’s been used against you before.”
That earned him a faint, humorless laugh. “Used against me?” Aventurine echoed. “Please. I’ve made a career out of turning that to my advantage.”
“During nights at the casino” Ratio said, unblinking, “I don’t think you’re asking me to be your debt collector… are you?”
There was a small pause between them. Ratio could’ve sworn he saw the faintest hint of hesitation and maybe embarrassment in Aventurine’s gaze. But as soon as it appeared it quickly got washed away, replaced by the usual cocky persona.
“You’d be right doc” He said loosely“I want you to own me in bed”
“I’m not going to sugarcoat my next words” Ratio said, unblinking, “you’re asking me to do what others once did to you.”
“Yes” Aventurine smiled faintly, almost tiredly. “But I want it to be you.”
Ratio’s silence this time wasn’t passive – it was defensive. His shoulders straightened, and something in his expression hardened. “Explain.”
He took a few steps closer, until the light from the window caught half his face in blue and left the other in shadow. He slowly raised his hand and grabbed Ratio’s tie, gently pulling on it “You know me” he said, his voice softer now. “You see through the performance. You call my bluff when no one else dares. I don’t just want to be controlled – I want to see what it feels like when control doesn’t mean losing.”
Ratio studied him for a long moment. “You’re asking me to reenact something you’ve spent years escaping from. That’s not an experiment, Aventurine. That’s regression.”
Aventurine laughed again, though this time there was a crack in it – not audible, but visible. “I knew you’d say that. And maybe you’re right. But I’ve never trusted anyone enough to try. Not like this.”
The word trust landed heavier than it should have. Ratio’s jaw flexed slightly, the faintest tell of discomfort. He wasn’t used to being trusted – or, perhaps, to having that trust weaponized so delicately.
He exhaled slowly. “You understand that I won’t… play into a fantasy meant to hurt you.”
“That’s the whole point” Aventurine murmured. “It’s not supposed to hurt. Not this time.”
Ratio’s eyes narrowed just slightly – suspicion, not malice. “Then what do you want it to mean?”
Aventurine hesitated – visibly, for once. “I want it to mean surrender. But on my terms.”
It wasn’t the words themselves that made Ratio’s chest tighten – it was the way he said them. Too calm, too precise, like a man gambling everything with his expression neutral.
“I need to know where your limits lie” Ratio said at last. “What you expect, and what I’m not allowed to do.”
Aventurine tilted his head, a faint spark of amusement returning. “Ever the scientist.”
“I prefer to think of it as ethics.”
“Fine, ethics” He stepped closer – a measured step, giving Ratio room to retreat if he wished. “I want you to speak to me like you mean it. To make me believe it. You can be cruel, you can mock me”
Ratio didn’t move, but the flicker in his gaze suggested he was processing every word. “And you want me to–?”
“Act like you own me” Aventurine repeated softly. “In every sense of the word… I want to be yours in every way you might think of, until I can’t think of anything else but pleasing you”
Ratio’s tone lowered, almost to a whisper. “You want to be reduced to nothing but a sex slave”
“You can say I’m experienced on it anyways” He gave a mocking blink to Ratio, even if he knew the scholar would never take such joke so lightly.
“And what happens when I say stop?”
“Then it stops” Aventurine said immediately. “No questions, no pushback.”
Ratio studied him – really studied him, the way one might inspect a volatile reaction before deciding whether to add heat. “And if you say stop?”
Aventurine’s eyes flickered. “You ignore it”
The sincerity of it – unadorned, unsmiling – shifted something in the air. The distance between them shrank, not because either moved, but because the space itself seemed to lean in.
Ratio broke the silence first. “You realize this isn’t something I take lightly.”
“I’m counting on that” Aventurine said, and the faint smirk returned – fragile but genuine.
He turned away then, pacing once toward the table where his discarded gloves lay. His hands brushed over them absently. “You’re the only one I could ask for this, Ratio. Anyone else, and I’d have to fake the trust. You… I don’t.”
Ratio’s reply came after a pause. “Trust isn’t a substitute for safety.”
“Safety” Aventurine echoed, a wry laugh under his breath. “You always make it sound so clinical.”
“Because it has to be” Ratio said simply. “If you’re giving me power, I need to know how not to break you with it.”
That silenced Aventurine more effectively than any command could have. He turned back, eyes meeting Ratio’s, and for once he didn’t have a quip ready.
“I don’t think you could” he said quietly.
Ratio’s gaze softened – only a fraction, but it was enough to shift the tone entirely. “You’d be surprised what people can break without meaning to”
Aventurine smiled again, smaller this time. “Then we’ll see, won’t we?”
Ratio looked away first, exhaling through his nose, the faintest shake of his head betraying exasperation and reluctant concern. “You make terrible bets.”
“And yet I keep winning them” Aventurine countered. “If it makes you feel better we can use a safeword”
The air felt heavier now, thick with unspoken rules and expectations. Ratio shifted slightly, closing the distance between them in a way that was deliberate, measured. Aventurine didn’t move back – he let the space shrink, let the tension coil between them.
Ratio’s hands remained at his sides, but his posture changed, imperceptibly firming. His voice, when he spoke, was low and precise. “We’ll set boundaries first. Safe words, gestures… nothing happens that you don’t consent to.”
Aventurine tilted his head, that faint, teasing curl of a smile tugging at his lips. “You make it sound like a negotiation.”
“It is” Ratio said, his gaze steady. “Control is meaningless if it’s reckless. I won’t risk you. Not your body, not your mind.”
“You, worried about recklessness? That’s a first.” Aventurine’s laugh was soft, almost incredulous. “Fine, if i say red you stop”
Ratio didn’t answer with words. Instead, he reached out, his hand hovering near Aventurine’s arm, deliberate but restrained. Just the nearness sent a ripple of awareness through both of them – a subtle claim without a single word. Aventurine’s chest lifted slightly, eyes narrowing, daring him.
“Closer” he whispered.
Ratio paused, measuring. The words carried a weight he hadn’t expected – not a command, not a dare exactly, but a challenge to him, and to his own restraint. He stepped forward, the movement slow, deliberate, until he was within an arm’s length. Every inch forward felt like a gamble, and every inch of reaction from Aventurine told him how far he could go.
“Not too fast” Ratio murmured, a soft warning. His hand finally brushed the back of Aventurine’s shoulder, a tentative but firm touch, testing, asserting. Aventurine’s response was subtle: a shiver, a tilt into the contact, his breath catching just enough to notice.
“Don’t overthink it doc” Aventurine said, a mix of amusement and something more vulnerable under the surface. “Just own me”
Aventurine’s lips parted, almost in a smirk, but his eyes betrayed a different truth: anticipation, curiosity, a flicker of nervous surrender. He didn’t pull away – he leaned in just slightly, testing the balance of authority and consent, daring Ratio to claim it.
Ratio’s hand moved with precision, lightly guiding Aventurine’s shoulder, marking the first subtle assertion of control. It wasn’t forceful – it didn’t need to be. Aventurine followed the lead instinctively, his own body leaning into the dynamic without fully surrendering, as if dancing along the edge of a blade.
Ratio’s hand stayed steady, resting just above Aventurine’s arm, fingers barely pressing. “I do own you” he said, and the statement carried the weight of all the control he was taking – careful and deliberate.
Aventurine tilted his head again, closer now, teasing. The proximity was electrifying, the air charged with tension neither of them could ignore. “Then show me” he murmured, almost a dare, almost a plea.
Ratio’s gaze darkened, scanning every flicker of expression, every subtle response. His free hand reached slowly, brushing a strand of hair from Aventurine’s face – not tender, not soft exactly, but precise, marking the claim without words. Aventurine leaned in slightly.
Ratio's smile was slow and predatory, a promise of things to come. He leaned in, capturing Aventurine's lips in a fierce kiss. Aventurine could do nothing but surrendered to it, his body melting against Ratio's, his hands reaching up to tangle in his hair.
When they finally pulled apart, Aventurine was breathless, his body aching with need. Ratio's hand moved to his waist, slowly pulling him closer until his hips were pressing against Aventurine's. "Tonight, you're mine" he murmured, his voice filled with possession and promise. "And I'm going to make sure you never forget it."
Ratio's hand moved from Aventurine's waist to his ass, squeezing possessively. Aventurine gasped, his body pressing closer, seeking more of the firm touch. Ratio's eyes flashed with satisfaction, seeing the immediate response. He leaned in to capture Aventurine's lips once more, this time with a hunger that was impossible to ignore.
Aventurine's hands roamed over Ratio's body, exploring the hard planes of his chest, his abs, his hips. He could feel the power in Ratio's body, the strength that held him with such precision and control. It was intoxicating, and Aventurine found himself losing himself in the sensation, in the promise of what was to come.
Ratio pulled away, his breath ragged. "Get on the bed" he commanded, his voice leaving no room for argument. Aventurine complied, his body moving with a grace and eagerness that completely overtook the nervousness he felt. He lay back, his eyes locked on Ratio.
The scholar crawled onto the bed right after, his movements quick and filled with convincement. He positioned himself between Aventurine's legs, his hands running up his thighs, his touch firm and possessive. Aventurine's breath hitched.
"Tell me what you want" Ratio murmured, his lips brushing against Aventurine's inner thigh. "Tell me how you want me to take you."
Aventurine's eyes fluttered closed, his body trembling with need. "I want you to take me hard" he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "I want you to own me, completely. I want to feel you deep inside me, claiming me, marking me as yours."
Ratio's eyes darkened with lust, and he moved up, his lips capturing Aventurine's once more. His hands roamed over Aventurine's body, exploring every inch, claiming every part. Aventurine surrendered to the sensation, his body melting under Ratio's touch, his mind consumed with the need for more.
When Ratio finally pulled away, Aventurine was panting, his body aching with need. Ratio reached into the nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. He tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth, his eyes never leaving Aventurine's.
Aventurine watched with a racing heart before quickly shooting his hand towards the now opened wrapper “No condom” He simply said, taking the small bag and throwing it away “I want you to fill me up doc”
Ratio's hand moved to Aventurine's cheek, his thumb brushing gently against his skin. "I’ll make sure to breed you well then" he murmured, his voice filled with a newfound excitement.
He reached for the lube, pouring a generous amount onto his fingers. Aventurine watched, his breath hitching as Ratio's fingers circled his entrance, teasing and preparing. The cool sensation made him gasp, his body clenching in anticipation.
"Relax" Ratio murmured, his voice soothing and commanding at the same time. "Let me in”
Aventurine took a deep breath, forcing his body to relax as Ratio's finger slowly pushed in, stretching and exploring. The sensation was intense, a mix of pleasure and discomfort that made him bite back a moan. His hips lifted slightly, seeking more, despite the initial burn.
"Good boy" Ratio praised, his voice low and approving. "You're doing so well. Just relax and let me take care of you."
Aventurine's body trembled, his muscles slowly relaxing as Ratio's finger moved in and out, preparing him. The sensation was overwhelming, the stretch and fill making his breath come in ragged gasps.
Ratio added a second finger, the stretch more intense, more profound. Aventurine moaned, his body clenching around the intrusion, his hips lifting to meet the movement. "That's it" Ratio encouraged, his voice filled with possessive pride. "You're taking my fingers so well. You were made for this, weren't you? Made for me."
Aventurine's eyes fluttered closed, his body melting under Ratio's touch, his mind consumed with the need for more. The sensation of being stretched, was intoxicating, and he found himself pushing back, seeking more of the firm touch.
Ratio added a third finger, the stretch almost painful, but Aventurine welcomed it, his body clenching and releasing around the intrusion. "You're so tight" Ratio murmured, his voice filled with lust. "You're mine, Aventurine. Completely and utterly mine."
Aventurine moaned, his body trembling with need, his hips moving in sync with Ratio's fingers. The sensation was overwhelming, the pleasure building with each movement, each stretch. He could feel the tension coiling in his belly, the promise of release just out of reach.
Ratio's fingers curled inside him, hitting a spot that made Aventurine cry out, his body convulsing with pleasure. "There it is" Ratio murmured, his voice filled with satisfaction. "Enjoy this while you can"
The words should have stung, but they only served to heighten his arousal, to deepen his need. Ratio's fingers continued to explore, to stretch, to claim, each movement more intense than the last. Aventurine's body trembled, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he surrendered to the sensation. The pleasure was building, the tension coiling tighter and tighter, threatening to explode at any moment.
"Look at you" Ratio murmured, his voice filled with a mix of lust and dominance. "So desperate for my fingers. So needy, aren't you?"
The moan that got punched out of him was nothing short of pornographic but Ratio didn’t seem to care. When he looked up he could see just how hungry Ratio seemed for this. Aventurine could barely hold his stare, he had never seen the doctor– who was usually so composed and tight– so lust driven. The second finger felt even better than the first, his body clenching around Ratio's fingers, his hips moving in sync with the intrusion.
It took less than five seconds for the doctor to successfully throw aventurine’s pants away. His shirt was nothing but a wrinkled mess at this point but he didn’t seem to bother with it. At this point, naked from the waist down while still seeing Ratio fully closed, Aventurine started to feel exposed– a good kind of exposed.
The scholar's fingers curled inside him again, hitting the same spot, sending waves of pleasure crashing through Aventurine's body. The continuous drag had him drooling. "Show me how much you need this." Ratio encouraged, his voice low and commanding.
His fingers moved with a relentless, almost unforgiving pace, stretching and exploring Aventurine's entrance with a precision that left no room for doubt. Aventurine's body convulsed with each thrust, the pleasure building to a fever pitch, threatening to consume him entirely.
"You’re so pathetic" Ratio growled, his voice laced with a mix of dominance and disdain. “Begging for my touch. You're mine, Aventurine. Completely and utterly mine to do with as I please."
Aventurine's body convulsed, the pleasure almost too much to bear. He could feel the orgasm building. "Please" he begged, his voice hoarse with need. "Please, let me come."
Ratio's fingers moved faster, his movements more urgent, more demanding. "Not yet" he commanded, his voice leaving no room for argument. "You come when I say you can. Understood?"
Aventurine nodded, his body trembling with the effort of holding back. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, the need to release unbearable.
The doctor’s fingers continued their relentless assault, stretching and exploring, hitting all the right spots, sending Aventurine spiraling towards the edge.
It felt like an eternity before he heard the other boy mutter the words he so desperately wanted to hear "Come for me, Aventurine," Ratio commanded, his voice leaving no room for disobedience. "Come now."
Aventurine's body convulsed, the orgasm hitting him hard, his body clenching around Ratio's fingers, milking them for all they were worth. He cried out, his voice a mix of pleasure and pain, his body trembling with the intensity of the release.
Ratio slowed his movements, his fingers gently exploring Aventurine's entrance, coaxing every last drop of pleasure from his body. Aventurine's breath came in ragged gasps, his body trembling with the aftermath of the intense orgasm.
"Good boy" Ratio murmured, his voice filled with a mix of pride and satisfaction. "You took my fingers so well"
Before he could catch his breath, Ratio was positioning himself at Aventurine's entrance, his cock already sheathed and ready.
Aventurine gazed at it expectantly, his eyes wide with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. "Please, I need more."
With a fierce, almost brutal thrust, Ratio pushed into Aventurine, filling him completely in one smooth movement. Aventurine cried out, his body clenching around the intrusion, the sensation overwhelming and intense. Ratio didn't pause, didn't give him a moment to adjust. He began to move immediately, his hips thrusting forward with a relentless, punishing pace.
“Ratio–” he lets out an exhale, flinching from the boldness of it. He's known since the beginning that he'd do whatever to please Ratio, but this felt like he had finally reached a point of no return.
"Fuck, you feel so good" Ratio growled, his voice strained with lust and dominance.
The sound coming from their hips hitting eachother had Aventurine's mind going haywire. The mix of sounds of skin against skin, the bed creaking under their weight, the moans coming out of Aventurine's mouth– it all felt too much, specially after having just cummed.
Aventurine arched his back. He grabbed onto the sheets below him with one hand as he wrapped his other one behind Ratio's neck, trying to find some kind of anchor against the rough movement.
“You're so tight Gambler” Ratio's thrust became even more forceful, the slap of their skin echoing around the room so loudly that for a split second Aventurine thought someone might be hearing them “You were made for this, weren't you? Your hole was made for me"
Aventurine could only moan in response, his body shaking with each powerful thrust. Ratio's hands gripped his hips tightly, his fingers digging into the flesh, holding him in place as he took him with a ferocity that left Aventurine breathless. He was sure he’d have more than one bruise tomorrow morning, but none of it mattered to him right now.
He felt the burn of arousal starting to pool on the bottom of his stomach yet again, the faint ache of a recent orgasm slowly starting to wear off as he felt the pleasure overtake him. His moans got even louder, as the second wave of pleasure started to hit harder than the first. He squeezed his eyes shut, angling his head to fit as close to Ratio's neck as he could to hide his expressions.
“Look at it” Ratio panted, raising one of his hands to thread its fingers through aventurine’s hair and pull at it “Look how well you swallow me pet”
The command went straight through Aventurine's brain, making him comply almost instantly. He did as he was told, looking down between their bodies to catch a glimpse of their bodies connecting.
The view itself was enough to push him to the edge again. Although he couldn't see it as clearly as he wished he could, he could make out the shape of Ratio's dick abusing his hole, thrusting in and out at a pace that was starting to take a toll on Aventurine's body.
He moaned loudly, maybe even louder than all the times before. And before he could even realize it he was cumming again, white strands of sticky hot liquid painting both of their bodies.
Ratio simply leaned down, catching Aventurine's lips in a deep kiss. It was all teeth and spit, a testament to just how desperate the both of them were. It served for a second too drown his moans, relishing on the exchange of fluids and the messy nature of it all.
“Already cumming a second time?” Ratio slowed down his thrust as Aventurine rode out his orgasm “I didn't know you were such a whore”
“Please Ratio…” he breathed out, his tone tinted with a faint moan that was still making its way out.
“What?” the response came out harsher than what he expected, although he didn't know why he expected Ratio to be smoother
“I–” the words felt stuck on his throat as he realized a burning ache on his lower half.
He took a long gasp and bit his lip once he realize Ratio was not done yet. He had slowed down only for a second, letting Aventurine ride his orgasm comfortably, but only for a second. As soon as he realized he felt the rough thrusts start again, and this time they felt more raw than before.
“You what?” Ratio took Aventurine's hands and pinned them both to the bed, keeping him in place with a strength that aventurine didn't know he had. “Are you too dumb to talk? It doesnt surprise me, you're just a cocksleve after all”
The burning ache Aventurine felt only grew more and more uncomfortable as Ratio started picking up his pace again. He unconsciously tried wriggling away, trying to create a distance between them but it was useless. Ratio had him pinned down against the mattress with a strength so big he could do nothing but just wriggle and whine as he felt the discomfort of it all.
“Poor little pet” Ratio hummed lowly– mockingly. He was holding Aventurine's wrists even harsher. “Is this too much?”
“It hur–” he couldn't finish his sentence. Ratio was already assaulting his lips again, biting and sucking roughly as he changed his pace to thrust slower but deeper.
“Do I look like I care?” The small chuckle that accompanied the question ran a shiver down Aventurine's spine, the temperature on his body seemed to suddenly drop as he felt the weight of the words.
Fear.
It was so strange. Getting to feel fear on Ratio’s presence. But it somehow felt comforting. No matter how scared he was he knew that with one word Ratio would've just stopped. But he didn't want it to stop.
The ache he felt got stronger and more unbearable by each passing second. He tried as best as he could to somehow get a better angle, or try to enjoy it another way but it was useless. He was stuck underneath Ratio feeling utterly useless.
“Please…” he managed to spit out in a whisper, the growing ache invading all his senses and eliciting a small whimper “Please Ratio it hurts…”
The last word he uttered came out more pathetic than he intended. His voice breathing at the very end with a small sob. It all felt like too much, he felt sore and the drag of Ratio against him made him draw out low whines of resistance.
However, he did not utter a word beyond his discomfort. In some twisted way Aventurine was enjoying it, will surrendered completely to the doctor in an act of pure faith and trust. The thought of it alone made it all more bearable.
Ratio was using him relentlessly, chasing his own high as his moans and groans mixed in with Aventurine’s soft cries of helplessness.
“You're feel so good” Ratio muttered, his head dipping down to leave open mouth kisses on aventurine's neck.
He sucked and kissed and eventually he started biting as well. The drag of his teeth against skin madd Aventurine feel even more overstimulated, his body thrashing around in an attempt to flee the bite or the fucking. Either way he only managed to get a scowl from Ratio as he sank his teeth down, breaking aventurine’'s skin with enough force to draw blood.
“Let me go please” aventurine begged. A small tear trailing down his cheek as he scrunched his face up from the pain.
“Let you go?” Ratio only laughed. A sound filled with mockery and sadism “You have no say in what I do to you pet” the thrusts were starting to get more erratic now, almost desperate “I own you and I'll do as I please with your body”
Ratio smirked as the body beneath him sagged around, thighs trembling, legs useless after having reached his high twice in one night. His cock twitched deep inside that ruined hole, the soft clench around him still greedy, still desperate for more.
The scholari’s cock slid out with a wet sound before spearing back in, the stretched rim of Aventurine’s hole sucking him down greedily. The boy whimpered, body twitching from exhaustion. It felt like forever, the long stretch, the aching On his neck and the soreness of his hole. It all felt too real.
He completely surrendered to the other boy, his hands going loose and his body still as he took in the abuse. He whimpered and cried, small soft escaping his lips and mixing in the air with Ratio's moans of pleasure.
“I'm going to fill you up so good” Ratio whispered against his skin, leaving wet kisses on his jaw. His movements were frantic, almost out of it, he was about to cum.
“Y-Yes, please fill me up sir” Aventurine could manage to say, his thoughts felt mushy and slow. It was as if he had regressed back to those days in which those words were the only way to please the men using him.
He sobbed even louder, tears running down his face accompanied by the ugly noises of a boy fully crying at the point. The ache between his legs was too much to bare, he wanted Ratio to just fill him up and be done with.
The shaft inside of him twitched as Ratio suddenly went very still. He sank his teeth yet again on Aventurine’s neck to leave another bruise on it as he came. The hands pinning him down slowly loosened up, but Aventurine felt powerless and made no attempt at freeing himself from his grip.
He just stayed there, motionless on the bed. He didn't dare to move, scared that if he so much as muttered a word he'd be punished like back then. His eyes were tightly shut and his sobs were suddenly the only noise that filled the room. The bed was no longer creaking and the man on top of him was no longer moaning.
The silence pressed down on him, heavier than the air itself. His body remembered what it meant to be still – to make himself small, quiet, invisible. The room around him blurred into shadow and breath and the echo of memory that didn’t belong here anymore.
For a few long, silent seconds, Aventurine couldn’t tell where he was.
The darkness behind his closed eyes felt too close, the air too thin. Every sound–the faint hum of the vents, the cooling creak of the bedframe–blurred into one deafening memory. His pulse roared in his ears, drowning out thought.
He couldn’t breathe. His chest seized like it had before, years ago, when breathing meant being noticed and being noticed meant pain. Instinct took over; he went still, every muscle locked. Don’t move. Don’t speak. Don’t draw attention.
His fingers clenched around the sheets until his knuckles hurt. His throat burned from holding back sound. Somewhere in the distance–though it could have been now, could have been then–he heard footsteps, the low rasp of a voice he couldn’t yet separate from the ones in his head.
It’s happening again.
The thought struck like lightning, absurd and absolute. He didn’t know who he was lying beside anymore; he didn’t know if the room was safe. The world had folded in on itself, trapping him inside the memory’s echo.
Then:
“Aventurine.”
A voice, sharper than the echo. Not cruel. Real.
He flinched, gasping. The sound broke the paralysis, and air tore into his lungs in short, ragged bursts. His vision swam when he opened his eyes–dim lights, familiar walls–but his mind was still half in another time.
Ratio’s silhouette came into focus first: seated at the edge of the bed, posture controlled, eyes fixed on him. No anger, no threat–only concern buried under calculation. He hadn't even noticed the other boy loosening his grip around his wrists, there was nothing pinning him against the bed anymore.
“Look at me” Ratio said quietly.
Aventurine tried, but his body didn’t cooperate. His breath came too fast, his hands trembled uncontrollably. He pressed his palms against his temples, as if he could crush the memory out of his skull. “I–”
“look at me” Ratio cut in, calm and precise. His voice laced with a soft kind of command. “You’re fine.”
The words didn’t sink in at first. Aventurine’s chest was still heaving, his vision narrowing to a tunnel of light and motion. He could feel everything: the cold sweat on his skin, the tremor in his limbs, the phantom weight that wasn’t really there anymore.
Little by little, the edges of the room returned: the shape of the window, the faint gleam of city lights bleeding through the blinds, the low thrum of the air system. All modern, all safe, all now.
He turned his head slowly toward the other man. “You stopped,” he said, barely audible.
“I did” Ratio answered simply.
Aventurine closed his eyes again, but this time it wasn’t to hide. He let out a long, uneven breath, his chest finally loosening. The memory still lingered–distant, dulled–but it no longer owned the present.
He felt this sudden rush of relief and secureness, those simple words cut through his being like a razor sharp scissor. The fear that was coiling in his chest started to unravel, getting replaced by something he had never felt before. He couldn't even begin to describe it.
“You stopped” he repeated, a small grin of contempt making its way to his face “You really stopped”
“Of course I did” Ratio nodded, carefully closing their gap again and laying next to the other boy. His hand took a gentle hold of aventurine's wrist, softly rubbing his thumb against the already blooming bruises.
Aventurine looked down at their joined hands, at the faint red marks along his wrist, and exhaled a laugh that sounded too small to belong to him.
“You don’t understand” he murmured, the grin fading into something quieter. “No one ever stopped before”
Ratio didn’t answer immediately. His thumb kept tracing light circles over the bruise, not to soothe it but to remind him it existed – proof of the present, not a remnant of the past. “I’m sorry you had to go though that.”
“I learned that asking was weakness” Aventurine continued. His voice wasn’t bitter, just tired. “That the moment you stop fighting, you’re finished. Power isn’t given back – you have to steal it, claw for it, make it yours again.”
He stared at the ceiling, his expression unreadable, the flickering light from outside cutting sharp lines across his face. “When I realized you’d stopped, I thought I was dreaming. My body still expected punishment. It’s pathetic, isn’t it?”
Ratio’s tone was flat, but not cold. “It’s human.”
That made Aventurine turn his head toward him, the faintest ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. “You always make everything sound so simple.”
“It’s not simple” Ratio replied. “But simplicity helps when you’re trying to untangle something this complicated.”
For a moment, neither spoke. The hum of the city outside filled the silence, distant and comforting. Aventurine’s breath evened out, though his fingers still twitched faintly against the sheets.
“When I was young,” Aventurine said at last, his voice dropping to a near whisper, “I thought power meant never being at anyone’s mercy again. I swore I’d never let anyone touch me, control me, or make me small. But I’ve spent my whole life… performing strength. Even when it wasn’t real.”
Ratio turned his head slightly, his expression softening in the half-light. “Strength isn’t the absence of fear, Aventurine. It’s the decision to move through it.”
Aventurine huffed out a breath – part laugh, part disbelief. “You make it sound noble.”
“It isn’t,” Ratio said. “It’s survival.”
That struck him harder than expected. Aventurine blinked up at the ceiling, his throat tight. “When you held me down, I thought I’d lose everything again. I thought I’d become that boy who couldn’t fight back. But then you stopped. And that… that ruined me more than if you hadn’t.”
Ratio’s brows furrowed faintly, but his voice stayed level. “Control can exist without cruelty.”
Aventurine swallowed, the words stuck on his throat. He gasped for air for a second before uttering the next words “I don’t know what to do when I’m safe.”
That confession cracked something open between them – the kind of silence that wasn’t empty, but alive with meaning. Ratio’s fingers tightened briefly on his wrist, just enough to remind him of contact. “Then you start by not apologizing for it,” he said quietly.
Aventurine’s breath hitched. He turned his face toward Ratio again, searching his eyes for mockery, for judgment – but found none. Just calm observation and that strange, steady patience that always unnerved him.
“You make it sound so easy” he whispered, a lonesome tear escaping his eye.
“It won’t be,” Ratio said, moving his hand to gently wipe it away “But you’re allowed to stop fighting when you’re not under attack.”
Aventurine let out a slow breath, his eyes closing. “And if I don’t know the difference?”
“Then I’ll remind you.”
The words hung between them, steady as a vow. Aventurine’s shoulders relaxed for the first time since the panic began. He rolled slightly toward Ratio, hesitant, uncertain if the closeness was permitted. Ratio didn’t move away; he simply adjusted, making space without a word.
For a while, neither spoke. The rhythm of their breathing evened out, two heartbeats finding the same quiet pace.
Aventurine finally broke the silence, his voice low. “Losing power used to mean losing myself. Tonight it just… meant letting you hold it for a while.”
Ratio’s hand shifted, resting lightly against his shoulder. “And you’re still yourself.”
That realization came slow, but when it did, Aventurine felt it sink all the way through him – the truth of it, the terrifying gentleness of being safe and seen at the same time. He stared up at the ceiling again, his eyes stinging for reasons that had nothing to do with pain.
He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. Ratio’s hand stayed where it was, a quiet point of contact anchoring him in the present. Outside, the city’s light kept flickering across the walls, but the room itself had gone still – warm, heavy, and safe.
For the first time in years, Aventurine didn’t feel like he was being owned, or conquered, or tested.
He just felt free.